Chapter 3: The Doctor

John had no intention of returning to Baker Street anytime soon, he still needed some time away from whatever Sherlock was dealing with.
He heard some sounds coming from his bedroom late at night, the letter J being included. The only person John could think of was Janine. Did they start to see each other and since when? If they did Sherlock never told him not even a hint. He could understand him if it didn´t work out between them, he was after all Sherlock Holmes, with a reputation to keep.
Sherlock dating went beyond everything John could even get a grasp on. He was always occupied with work and relationship wasn´t on the schedule; he told him how it was out of his area. John shook his head.
"You are a mystery, Sherlock. I for one don´t even get you. Those sounds he heard were filled with lust and pleasure, so who are you dreaming about, is it Janine? Ohh, John, you do have the letter J in your name, he blushed heavily. He stood up pacing the floor having such a thought made him feel so ashamed. How could he even think such a rather intimate thing about his best friend?

John blushed by thinking how Sherlock was pleasuring himself during the night when he thought he was sleeping. John could you focus on how you left because of all this, Sherlock was keeping a secret from him, he had something he never talked about for some reason.
He couldn´t stay away forever so he would text or call him in a few days, he wasn´t ready to talk yet. Yet John? You know Sherlock better than anyone except for Molly. Molly did she know perhaps he confides in her, it wouldn´t be the first time he did. Not the right time for a trip down memory lane getting all messed up, it was in the past.
He glared at his phone considering if he should text him, it´s been almost a week since he left so perhaps it was time to let Sherlock hear from him. Then again Sherlock didn´t seem to bother about his well being so why should he?
What is going on with you anyway? He wanted to know but if Sherlock felt like keeping secrets then he couldn´t do anything. Here he thought they were friends and shared everything or almost he was wrong obviously.
Should he move out from the flat Sherlock would do fine without him he did before, are you tired of me but embarrassed to tell? He had so many questions but no answers, who is this J person you moan about late at night, Sherlock was clever enough not to reveal the full name if he heard him.

Ohh dear! Could it be Moriarty no it couldn´t be? A cold chill went down his spine, what if he was still alive? Sherlock did fake his own death so could James he was clever enough to do so, but why on earth would Sherlock dream about him? John, no human can control their dreams.
His hand went down his face there was no logical explanation for it, or well there was if he had dreams about James, or he did in fact pleasure himself while fantasizing about him. The thought made John shiver, Sherlock could have had feelings for him or he still had them, the more John went over his life since he met James for the first time, those feelings became more real than he actually liked.
He could, in fact, be aware of him being alive, the same issue with James. At some point they would be face to face again unless it already happened.
Sherlock could easily hide it from him he was not able to read him like an open book like he was and he never would be. He left the flat because he couldn´t stand his behavior anymore there was something very wrong.
He needed some space and to be alone, no wonder he did if Sherlock knew James was alive or could be. They probably met or found out how they both tricked each other. In that case, it explained the pleasure moans he heard more than once, they could both be in love. It all became too real for John sitting there thinking about it.
John had to focus on something else it drove him mad it was all assumptions from what he heard and how he was acting.

"Are you slightly jealous John, from what you heard the J could be you" He mumbled and thought about it for some minutes. He was not jealous but mad at him for keeping secrets, he never had any feelings so why should he be jealous, how absurd. Or you are simply in denial because you been ignoring it for years, oh this is what James would say. His laugh and that devious smile came to mind when having such a thought.
He was not gay and he never would be he felt how the anger inside him grew stronger. Someone or something had come between him and Sherlock and he wouldn´t allow it. John very well knew how love felt like and he never had such feelings towards him, they cared about each other but not in a gay way.
Sherlock never been with anyone or been in love, that´s what he told him almost since the day they met. So now he could, in fact, be in love for the very first time,
"Are you embarrassed by it? You could have lots of questions but you are too afraid to ask me. Sherlock, you are one confused mess right now and there is a high possibility that you are in love. But in who, is it the one with the letter J or someone I don´t even know?" John mumbled and he continued.
"You don´t have to be shy around me, easy to say I know but you shouldn´t be shy about talking to me" he sighed.
Being here alone was starting to drive him insane, so it might be time to head back. John rose it wouldn´t solve anything being here so now he started to pack his stuff.
Hours later he unlocked the door on Baker Street heading upstairs to find the flat empty. Where on earth are you Sherlock? Not even a note was left behind for him, John felt the anger boiling inside him, and I thought we were friends. He heard a low hiss escaping between his teeth