People would rather be comfortable than happy, for change and obstacles is what we fear most.
No person nor figment will ever compare to the warm sun and the rain that tickles your heart. Many will say love can compare, but many don't know that love can also tear you apart.
Anger, no matter the form, is one way we express hurt. Rage is our prideful cover up of guilt, and when we feel sorrow, it's our true selves crying for yesterday.
Nothing is perfect. Perfect shouldn't even be a word. Yet it is, so we can keep striving for something that doesn't exist. Though we should be glad that it does exist,, or else what would we live for?
We wish to be birds so we can fly away, but no amount of flying will ever solve your problems.
Post after post, I read Keith's writing. All of these I've read at least five times over, and I love the meaning behind each one. Each one of these tells a personal story, and each one has such wise words that it leaves me stricken with thoughts. I feel like from reading these that I've added ten years to my life.
I'm in my seventh hour class which is AP Calculus, and I honestly can't wait to get out of here. I'm not going to stop at Pidge's today, but instead I'm going to go home and do my chores early before my Skype date with Keith. Hopefully we have a frozen pizza?
"Rivera, phone."
Dammit, caught again. I reluctantly hand over my phone to the witch of math, Ms. Haggar, and I glare daggers into her back as she walked away. Now what am I supposed to do for the last half hour of school?
Time to go old school, that's what.
I refuse to do the extra work Haggar gave us since it's pointless busy work, so I'm going to draw for a half hour. I'm kind of artistic, but don't expect a Picasso. My sister Mariana is the artistic one of the family. Jonesy is the people's person, Rex is the mechanic, Diego is the prodigy child, and I am the math whiz. But I do pick up on the rest of my siblings skills from time to time.
So, I drew a pizza slice. The cheese is extremely drippy and the attempted alien dude who is holding it kinda looks constipated, but I think it's perfect. I take a picture of it and send it to Keith with the caption 'You're out of this world'. I'm smooth as hell.
There is only seven kids in this class, so when we all heard a knock on the door, we were quick to answer. Haggar opens the door to let the visitor in, and surprisingly it's Allura?
"Excuse me, but is it okay if I borrow Lance for the rest of the hour?"
Haggar looks conflicted, but she motions me to leave anyways. I pack up everything that was on my desk and hastily shove it in my bag. Haggar also hands back my phone before I reach the door where Allura is standing.
Why does Allura need me? The last time she talked to me was last year, and it's because I was being too loud during our chess club meeting. Allura ushers me out the door, and she clicks the door shut behind us.
"Sooo... What's this about?"
"It's about Pidge. They asked for you to come to the office and I was student aiding, so I volunteered to come and get you."
"What? Is Pidge alright?"
"Pidge is fine Lance, just..."
Allura hesitates. Analyzing what to say next. She starts walking towards the main office.
"Pidge is what?"
"I just think it would be best if you hear it from Pidge."
My mind starts to swarm with the worst of the worst as we walked through the empty locker ridden halls. What did Pidge do? Did they make something illegal and the government is arresting them? That's my best bet right now... But why does Pidge need me?
Allura and I arrive at the office, and she takes a seat at a table on the right side of the room. I see Pidge and Matt sitting in the Principle's office. I can tell Pidge's face is full of dread. I don't greet anybody, and instead I sit in the seat next to Pidge. Our Principle Alfor spoke first.
"Lance, nice of you to join us!"
"Uh, nice to be here? I'm not exactly sure why I'm here though."
Alfor motions for Pidge to speak. They take a huge breath, and they exhale out a sigh.
"I've... been accepted into a program where I'll be working with scientists on upcoming technology."
Oh thank god it wasn't anything bad.
"Pidge that's great! Oh god I thought you somehow did something illegal! Why are you all mopey looking?"
I see Matt next to Pidge with a pity look. Matt is never one to pity someone, especially someone he considers family like me. Alfor to the side of me has a neutral face, but his eyes screamed at Pidge to continue their sentence.
"Lance, I'll have to go away to Florida."
My smile shatters. Pidge... won't be here anymore?"
"I... How long?"
Pidge looks away from me, and starts to glare at the ground.
"However long they need me. Could be a week, could be a year."
Tears start to form, but I do not cry. It burns, but I don't dare cry.
"That's amazing still! Why aren't you more excited? We should celebrate this weekend! Chinese food on me!"
Playfully, I punch Pidge in the arm. I know for a fact Pidge and Matt knows that I'm not okay, but we both know now is not the time.
Matt, Pidge, and I leave the school. I tell them that I have to go home early because of Keith, and they both start up the usual playful banter. Luckily Matt drove here, so I have an extra hour to get ready for tonight.
It was barely a five minute drive, but it was filled with Pidge making kissy faces at me and Matt singing 'kissing in a tree'. I'm so grateful to have these two as a second family. There will for sure be an awkward talk later, but for now it's peaceful.
We arrive at my house, and everything goes quiet. Pidge hugs me goodbye, and I hug back twice as hard. How am I supposed to live without Pidge by my side? This means I'll have to walk home alone, be in AP Physics II alone, and spend everyday alone.
Letting a tear slide, I let go of Pidge.
I exit the car without any further interaction. I feel more tears about to fall, so once I make it inside I bolt up stairs. Briefly, I seen my mamá in the kitchen, and Rex in the living room with Diego. Rex tried talking to me, but I didn't catch any of it. I'll tell the family later once everyone is home. For now I need to vent. I need to cry a lot and listen to music. I need to breathe.
Therefore the next hour was spent listening to the saddest music I could find, and reblogging anything on Tumblr that was as sad as I am. Constant thoughts of Pidge flooded me. What if something goes wrong in Florida? What if Pidge finds a new best friend?
What if Pidge never comes back?
My phone buzzes, and I snap out of my stupor. The notification came from Tumblr, and in that instant I realized that I left Keith on seen while I was reblogging things on Tumblr. I'm the biggest piece of shit.
I open up the chat, in which there are three messages from Keith.
Red_Red_Red to León72Azul: Only you would draw something so weird/cute and send that to me.
Red_Red_Red to León72Azul: You got your phone taken away again, didn't you?
Red_Red_Red to León72Azul: Are you okay? You're posting kinda depressing things. I hope you're doing okay.
I don't deserve someone as sweet as Keith. He isn't mad at all that I accidentally ghosted him. He just cares that I'm doing okay.
León72Azul to Red_Red_Red: Honestly? No I'm not. It's been kind of a rough two hours. I'm okayish now.
Okayish is a lie. I'm not okay at all, and I just want to cry all over again. But I have to water the house plants and help Diego with flashcards and find out how to get a pizza. Today is my day to also feed all the animals, and sweep up the barn if it's needed. Keith responded shortly after.
Red_Red_Red to León72Azul: Are you sure? If you're not up for Skype tonight we can reschedule...
León72Azul to Red_Red_Red: NOOOOO I AM FINE I AM STILL UP FOR OUR SKYPE DATE. I JUST HAVE TO DO MY CHORES AND GET A PIZZA. STILL AT SEVEN YEAH?
Red_Red_Red to León72Azul: Okay awesome! I can't wait for seven :)
After those two hours of hell, I crack a smile. This boy can send a heart emoji and that will be the day I die.
Now, I have to start my chores and find out where I'm getting my pizza. I take a moment to think about Pidge and our friendship through the years. There is no way I could replace Pidge, and there is no way Pidge could replace me. We can call each other everyday, maybe while I walk home from school? I can still visit the Holt household as well possibly, and it's not like it's forever!
I take both of my hands and smack my cheeks to wake myself up. I am mother fucking Lance McClain Rivera! This won't stop me!
The first thing to do on my list is to water the plants, since that's inside and quick. I grab the small watering can from the hallway closet, and I head to the bathroom to fill it up with tap water. I notice my face is insanely red and puffy from that hour of constant crying, so I try that splashing water in the face technique again. Of course that didn't help at all. Though let's be honest, I will totally do that again sometime soon.
I start with my room where I have a singular cactus that Rex got me two years ago. Honestly, I forget to water it all the time and it's still living, so Rex thought ahead on that one.
I then move on over to Diego's room, where it is littered with plants of all sorts. I always check to see if he does water his plants by himself considering he is only six, but no matter what he always remembers. His room is also filled with animals. He already can name every single dinosaur, and can do multiplication. It's a good thing Pidge was the same way, and has been giving us pointers on how to help Diego reach his full potential as a genius.
Mariana's room was next, in which she was at her desk drawing like usual. She notices me, so I hold up the water can to let her know my intentions. She nods her head, and continues to engross herself into her art. She likes to pick up random flowers on her walks home, so she always has something to water. This time she has a bunch of dandelion weeds in a mug, and some tiger lilies in her usual vase. I water both, and continue to downstairs. Neither Jonesy or Rex have plants. Why? Because they're lame that's why.
The kitchen has a few plants here and a there, and the living room has a couple as well. I also took the liberty to water the perimeter of the house. I deserve the best son award, but honestly I would just give it to Diego.
Speaking of Diego, time for flashcards!
"Hey hermanito, time for some flashcards!"
Diego was still in the living room with Rex, and when I was watering the plants earlier he didn't say a word to me. Diego's eyes light up, and he runs over to the kitchen drawer that hold all of his things. He pulls out the Spanish/English flashcards, so I take a sigh of relief because I am sick of multiplication.
Diego is pretty much fluent in both English and Spanish, but he insists on learning more complex words.
We do the flashcards for longer than fifteen minutes because Diego insisted that he wasn't fast enough.
"Lance, de nuevo!"
"Diego I have to do other things."
"DE NUEVO!"
And so again we go. Rex saves me once we go through them a fourth time by offering Diego to play with his dinosaurs. The flashcards were abandoned, so I cleaned them up and placed them in the right drawer.
I see Jonesy come through the door looking annoyed once again.
"Lance, did you seriously take the paper again?"
"I told you, I take them for projects."
"What do I have to do to make you stop?"
Ah yes, a Jonesy favor. Perfect to get a free pizza out of him.
"I want a pizza."
"Fine. I have a stashed frozen cheese one in the freezer downstairs, it's yours."
Mariana pops her head into the kitchen. She must have gotten hungry.
"Did someone say pizza?"
I turn around to Mariana. Perfecto.
"Hey Mari, if you grab the pizza and make it I'll let you have half of it."
"Deal."
I smirk, and Jonesy is in shock.
"How do you just...?"
"Jonesy, you never get away with it because we all know that you would just eat the entire pizza by yourself. You have no integrity."
Jonesy opens his mouth to retaliate, but he closes it once he realizes that I'm right. I think that's my cue to leave. I'll quickly feed the animals, sweep up the barn, and by then the pizza should be done!
I grab old trusty the LIV(that's 54 for you non Roman people), and make my way towards the barn. The barn is about a quarter mile west from our house, and the stables are north from the barn. We have a lot of land for the animals to roam, so right now all of our horses are out. I see my papá in the field tending to Armstrong, our oldest horse. He waves at me, and I wave back but with more enthusiasm.
The small walk to the barn was peaceful. Nothing is really loud out here in 'farm land'. Though of course it is a small half hour drive to Milwaukee, which I swear it's the loudest place in existence. I need to travel more.
I'm outside the barn, and by the time I'm near it I can usually hear animal chatter, but it's quiet. Something is wrong. Something is seriously wrong.
I want to call out to my papá, but I didn't want to bother him in case my hunch was wrong. Animals can be quiet sometimes, right?
The barn door slowly creeks open wider than it was before, and a terrible odor attacks my nostrils. I double over and stop myself from puking out my lunch. Immediately I grab my shirt and cover my nose in attempt to bear the smell, and I continue into the barn.
I get the urge to vomit again when I see the sight before me.
Kaltenecker is sprawled where she usually stands. Flies have always followed her around, but never like this.
"PAPÁ AYUDA!"
My feet carry me out into the field. My throat is constricted and filled with pent up vile that needs to be released. My dad must have heard my scream, because he meets me half way across the field.
"Mijo?"
I almost collapse to the ground, but I steady myself on my knees.
"There... is something wrong with Kaltenecker."
My dad grabs my arm and starts to run towards the barn. I mutter out a warning to cover his nose, and he does by tying his flannel around his face. I cover my nose again before we enter the barn. My dad freezes for a moment once he sees the state that Kalnenecker is in. He continues on to check her vitals and anything else that might be alarming.
"Lance, she is still alive. Go into the house and get your mamá."
He didn't have to tell me twice. Mamá is an animal doctor and will be able to help Kaltenecker. I burst out of the barn, and Jonesy is here looking concerned. I ignore him as I run towards our front door and start calling out.
"MAMÁ!"
My mom was in the laundry room taking some clothes out of the washer. She notices my distress and drops the clothes back into the washer.
"Mijo, qué está mal?"
"There is something wrong with Kaltenecker, Papá needs you."
Mamá wastes no time. She shifts into doctor mode and grabs her emergency animal aid kit and runs out towards the barn. Rex is already up on his feet running out with mamá, and Mariana leads Diego into the kitchen with her to distract him from what's going on. What should I do?
Diego tugs on my right pant leg.
"Is Kalte okay?"
I'm staying with Diego and Mariana. I crouch down to Diego's level and hug him.
"I hope she will be okay. Mamá will see if Kaltenecker is okay."
I remember when I was five when I named Kaltenecker. I named her after the main character in my favorite TV show, and she has been with me ever since. I start to tear up at the thought of Kaltenecker passing away, and Mariana joins in on the hug. I can't afford to lose it right now. They need me to be strong.
About fifteen minutes pass, and Mariana has took out the pizza we were supposed to eat. None of us touch it.
Ten more minutes pass, and the rest of the family except mamá come through the front door.
We were doing more flashcards with Diego, but I abandon them to stand up and ask the question.
"Is Kaltenecker okay?"
Papá does a small Mona Lisa like smile.
"She is still alive. Benita is calling some coworkers to help her out. She isn't sure what exactly is going on, but as of right now she is fine."
I exhale. I still feel terrible, but knowing that Kaltenecker isn't dead is enough for me at the moment. I check the clock, and it's almost 6:30. I have some time to calm down before I go and Skype with Keith. This has been probably one of the worst days of my life, but I can overcome this. Keith should make it a bit better.
Mariana separated the pizza onto two plates, so I grab the blue plate while she grabs the yellow one. I don't feel all that hungry though, but I take it anyways since I'm sure I'll get hungry eventually.
Jonesy and Rex look tired, but they're both are relaxing on the couch now, so it's the best thing they could do for now. Papá has already left again, probably either to help out mamá or put the horses away for the night. I ruffle Diego's hair before I climb the stairs to my room.
My room is a slight mess, so I take the time to make my bed and pick up the miscellaneous. I don't have a desktop computer, but I do have a laptop that I've owned since seventh grade.
By the time I had Skype up to date and having myself look a little more presentable it was five minutes away from seven.
León72Azul to Red_Red_Red: Are you ready?
Thanks guys for reading and reviewing! It means so much! Also I don't know Spanish what so ever, so please tell me if the Google translation is messed up!
Before I get to answering your reviews, I want to tell you guys what Lance's siblings ages are!
Jonesy-23
Rex-19
Mariana-11
Diego-6
And have you guys figured out who each sibling is based off of? Lmao anyways, time to respond to you guys!
LadyKittenZ- MY FAVORITE KIND OF DATE AM I RIGHT?
Gay Legs- I live for a good Keith/Shiro brother bonding! And as an FYI I made that entire pick up line post with my own knowledge and I never realized how much of a flirt I was until this fic oops. Much love!
The Best Guest- Now I'm going to kill you with Langst. Sorry not sorry ;)
French Ravioli- SUPER GAY IS GONNA BE SUPER MEGA GAY SOON
Space Mullet- I WILL REPLY TO ALL YOUR REVIEWS AS LONG AS YOU KEEP REVIEVING AHHHH. HAVE SOME LANGST.
Alexjh- Omg I do not deserve such praise... BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH LIKE REVIEWS LIKE THIS IS WHAT KEEPS ME GOING!
Alexa10110- Thanks for letting me know! *insert heart emoji here*
stardancer1000- Tbh Shiro should be the one writing this, not me lmao. I feel amazing knowing that you're rereading this! Makes me want to write more ayyeeee
Mikihiko Tada- Shiro is perfect for Tumblr honestly. I promise to make this the most gayest Klance fanfic out there just for you! Thanks so much!
ALSO reminder that I have a Tumblr myself! It's rox6564!