*AN thanks for reading ch 1 hope you enjoy this one too! I do think next chapter is where we'll really get to the story let me know your thoughts I'd love to hear them *
Today was the last day before Hugo and I departed for Hogwarts. As such, it was a small family day. Normally, I loved these last moments before school. However, I knew this day would be strangled by a certain tension.
When my parents found me the morning after the party, undeniably hungover, they were not the happiest. Additionally, word of Malfoy and I's spat had gotten around and my mother was disappointed in my lack of maturity, as she put it. But through all that, I felt hideously sad. I tried to hide it. I spent the last few days with Roxy or locked in my room, trying to read. I knew that it would be difficult to keep my mood underwraps a whole day from the people I loved most. And when it came time to go downstairs and put on my happy act, I realized I simply did not have the energy.
At half past ten, my mom came in. She looked confused. Normally I was the first one up. I looked down, feeling ashamed and I didn't know quite why.
"Rose, what are you doing? We're waiting for you for breakfast." My mom huffed. I bit my lip. Not even pancakes could fill the emptiness I felt right now.
"I am not really hungry. I think I should stay up here." I said slowly.
"Rose Weasley, you are being ridiculous. You are always hungry, even if you aren't , I'd think you could come down and spend some time with your family." My mother was starting to raise her voice. Shit.
"I want to spend time with you guys…" I trailed off. My mother looked at expectantly with little patience. "Mom, I just need to be alone. Besides, you'll have a much better morning without me."
"What in the world is in your head? We've had plenty of mornings without you this summer young lady. You should get your priorities straight before starting your last year. I would assume that the desire to get a few more minutes of sleep might be less important than seeing your father and I. Honestly, you've been cooped up here since you've been back and I am over it! Rose, I am over it!" My mother's rant sparked tears in my eyes. I had to turn the other way. "Oh, yes, continue avoiding me!"
"Can you.. Just.. Dad, please." I choked.
"Rose, dear, I… I'm sorry I yelled. What is going on?" My mother tried to soften her voice when she heard the strain in my voice as she sat on my bed. I knew she could not understand. My mother was perfect. She was intelligent. She was generous. She was gorgeous. And she had every right to ride her moral high horse around. I failed so hard at emulating her. This brought on a new wave of holding down sobs.
"Hey, what in Merlin's name is going on?" I heard my dad say abruptly. I could imagine the look my mother shot him for his obliviousness. Hugo shuffled to the side of the bed where I could see him. Oh, just great the whole family is here to witness my breakdown!
"Rosie… Are you crying?" Hugo asked, just as insensitive as our dad.
"Hugo…" Mom started but I felt something shift as my dad sat down on the bed.
"Hey, Ro. You wanna look at your dear old dad?" My dad said quietly while placing a hand on my shoulder. I rolled over to face him. "Hey, there. Who's arse do I wanna kick? Did Diggle..?" I shook my head vehemently. Of course, Miles did not do anything. He never does anything!
"Rose, just tell us what's going on and we can help." My mother being ever so practical.
"I really can't do that, mom." I replied, trying to convey my apologies for being a dramatic wuss.
"Okay, dear. We can always warm up your breakfast. Hugo, why don't we go eat and let your dad talk to Rose?" Hugo looked reluctant to leave but a hard stare from mom got him going.
My dad settled himself beside me. I curled into his side. Maybe an almost seventeen year old shouldn't need to snuggle with her father but Merlin, I was already being a child so why not go all in?
"Soooo, Malfoy?" My father suggested. I sat up, ready to explain all the reasons he was the worst but I sank back when I realized that Malfoy was just a third of my feelings right now.
"Kind of? Don't get me wrong, I'm not thrilled he's Head freaking Boy. But it was him or Jackson Mclaggen who is an arseface as well. Not more than Malfoy." I asserted.
"Of course not. Who could ever be bestowed with such a low honor by Rose Weasley?" My father chuckled. Most of the time he found Malfoy and I's feud funny.
"But he, dad, he won? I'm not Head Girl. I worked so hard and it's for nothing." I told him. I felt him sigh next to me.
"Sometimes I think it's my fault. I pit you against him that first day… But Rose as much as I firmly believe you can and have and will beat Malfoy in every way that matters… You have to stop putting so much of your worth into what he thinks." My dad said softly. I sat up, looking at him with an accusation in my eyes.
"I do not care what Scorpius Malfoy thinks about me!" I asserted. "I just don't think he deserves to be better than me and I do think he deserves to know it!"
"Rose, sweetheart, I agree. But you put way too much energy into this."
"Dad, it's not him though. Like I wasn't good enough. All that energy for six years for nothing!" I huffed.
"It's not for nothing. Don't be absurd. And hey, maybe there's a silver lining. Maybe now you can give yourself a little bit of a break. Don't focus on being perfect for anyone else. Especially not Malfoy, not even McGonagall." My dad told me firmly.
"What about mom?" I asked after a moment of consideration.
"Honey, your mother couldn't care less about a title. She loves you. You are diligent and smart, just like her. She's sees herself in you, that's why she's hard on you. Your mother never learned how to go easy on herself. I love her to the ends of the earth, you know that. And I will try everyday to lessen the burden she puts on hers-"
"Dad, I don't need to hear your wedding renewal vows!" I said but I couldn't help smiling. He rolled his eyes. As sentimental as he was, he was not comfortable admitting it.
"What I'm trying to say is you're young and you have time to learn how to let yourself be. Rose, we are always going to be your biggest cheerleaders. Besides! Now you have time for quidditch!" Dad suggested cheerily.
"You are literally the worst." I could barely stay atop a broom. I was feeling a bit better. There was still a third of my issues that there was no way I could bare to tell dad.
King's Cross was just as loud and crowded and exciting as it had been every year. I loved this flurry of excitement. I watched Hugo jot over to Lorcan Scamander, his best mate. The two were an odd pairing I had to admit. Hugo was just as brash as I was and he loved quidditch with the enthusiasm of most Weasleys. He was even fervent about muggle sports. Lorcan was a quiet boy. He always seemed to have some kind of pet with him- muggle or magical. Yet the two were attached at the hip and seemed to be perfectly in sync. If Lorcan hadn't dated Eloise Patil for all of last year (a surprise to everyone), Rose might have thought they were together.
Albus approached me sheepishly. I had not spoken with him since the party. Obviously he was under the impression I had been avoiding him out of irritation rather than embarrassment.
"Hey, are we still sitting together?" Albus asked. I rolled my eyes. We always sat together. Well, for the first half of the ride and then I usually stalk off because Malfoy had gotten under my skin too much.
"Of course, don't be ridiculous." I smiled at him.
"Yes, Al, don't be ridiculous. She would never miss out on the chance to leer at me for a few hours. It is the most action she'll get all year." Malfoy sneered from behind me. Albus made a face in disgust and annoyance. But I did see a hint of amusement in his eyes. Damn you Albus Severus.
"You're an insufferable person and I have decided to no longer indulge you in your immature prickish ways." I informed him. I was determined to look him in the eyes and not the lips.
I had decided that if Malfoy was head boy he ought to be a little more well behaved. Obviously, I could not control what he did but I could lessen my hostile interactions with him which maybe could keep us out of detention and make him be a little bit more nof the role model he should be. This just meant I had to keep my emotions shut down around him. I was stronger than bloody Malfoy took me for.
"Oh, Scarlet. I assure you my ways with my prick is in no way immature." Malfoy challenged me with a smirk. Nope. Would not get a rise out of me one bit.
"So Albus, I'll see you in there." I nodded and turned away. My calm response was likely contradicted by how I immediately tensed and felt my face heat up. He was such a dick. I needed to control my Anger Asthma if I hoped to push a sense of dignity upon Malfoy. I needed to regain my breath out of Malfoy's eyeline. My retreat was blocked by Miles.
"Rosie!" He hugged me tightly. Miles looked around a second and seeing no sight of my father, kissed me. It wasn't a fun kiss. Or an impassioned one. It was the kiss you give your crush when you're young and you just admitted your feelings to each other.
"Miles." I smiled back at him. He grabbed my hand and we walked over to his family. I had to admit I loved his father. He was a bit of an older man but he was just as spry as I imagined him in his twenties. And just as absurd as Aunt Luna.
"Hi, Mr Diggle." I beamed at him.
"Rose Weasley!" He engulfed me in a hug. "Are you looking forward to heading back to school!? Can you believe it is this boy's last year!" He was so enthusiastic it would have been easy to miss the sad look in Mrs. Diggle's eyes.
"Hi Mrs. Diggle, how are you?" I asked politely after agreeing with Mr Diggle. Mrs. Diggle was a timid awkward woman yet I was intimidated by her. She loved her son with a ferocity even Grandma Weasley would raise an eyebrow at. The encounter was as awkward as promised with the Diggles. It was cut short by a certain low voice.
"Excuse me, may I borrow my cousin?" Fred said. A wide smile spread across my face. I smiled at the Diggles and squeezed Miles' hand before Fred led me to a less crowded corner.
"So… I may or may not have heard from a grapevine called Weasleys that your dad wants you to try to see the silver lining of the situation." Fred said casually. I could tell he was excited about this conversation. I think one of the reasons I love being with Fred is that he's very engaging, it feels like he has a purpose to talk to you even if that purpose is simply telling you a crude joke.
"So your sister told you." I remarked. Not that it was totally implausible that in a family like ours (large, chatty, and fiercely caring) that news of a worry my dad had for me would get around by him saying it to this brother and that brother to his kid who told this cousin who told a Longbottom who told another cousin who told Fred. But I had sent Roxy an owl about this conversation yesterday so this made me more sense.
"I'm just saying he's not wrong. I know you, you aren't a scared little girl, Rose. You are in Gryffindor for Merlin's sake." Fred emphasized. I shrugged, feeling a little bit psychoanalyzed and a little bit confused as to what he wanted. "You can have a good time now. WIthout having to suffocate yourself with what if consequences!" He continued. I snorted.
"Do I love having fun with you? Sure. Do I feel like I sometimes miss out? Yeah. But I can't just fly off into the sunset and do whatever the hell I want. Not being Head Girl means for all that worrying I missed something." I pleaded with him, I wanted Fred to understand.
"You just said you feel like you've missed out. Okay. But you aren't missing out on anything but getting to be yourself, Ro. Just think about it. And also don't sad drink. It's not a good look." Fred started off serious but lent into teasing me.
"The hangover after was even worse." I assured him. We talked a little more- him telling me to experiment with things I liked, me telling him that Ancient Runes could have perfectly attractive qualities to some people that may be considered fun at times.
"Alright, I've taken up way too much of your time. The rest of them will want to see you off, the Potters just got here so that means you're probably leaving soon." Fred said. When Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny arrived with their little troop it usually meant that things were just about to start. They were always running late and still managing to arrive on time. This gave Albus so much anxiety about the train that he put his foot down two years ago and stays with the Malfoy's the night before leaving for Hogwarts. "But I may or may not have a little gift for you… open it in private.. When you decide I'm right and you do wanna have a little fun."
I didn't have much time to contemplate Fred's mystery package before I was hugging the throngs of my family, watching my dad try not to cry at his little girl leaving for her seventh year at Hogwarts and boarding the train. I settled into a compartment with Roxy and Louis. Lucy and McKinley Finnigan popped in but found another compartment, they preferred the quiet. We're joined by Hugo and Lorcan and eventually Albus and Satan himself.
As we felt the train lurch into motion and lost sight of our families, the excited, optimistic energy froze in the compartment as Malfoy sneered at me.
"So Weasley, are you happy to change things up now? After a summer of smelling like an errand boy you can now smell like you're right up a teacher's arse again. A home away from home for you, isn't it Fire Exit?" Scorpius was getting desperate after seven years of trying to find things are ugly and red to call me. I was about to tell him just that and give him several examples of superior, more creative insulting nicknames one may call him when I reeled myself in.
"I am looking forward to seventh year." And never having to see your revolting (read: gorgeous) face again. The faces around the compartment were terribly confused, it was quite comical. Nothing was quite as funny as the look of unraveling on Malfoy's face at my deadpan response. I would have liked to tell him exactly where he could put those feet he was trying to use to backpedal that one.