Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars Rebels. Not even some of these awesome pranks are mine...
I know what you're thinking, another late update. I really tried, but I haven't watched the episode about Leia in a bit so it took me some time to get her personality right, even though I've seen all the movies. Funny thing is, I feel like I could still do a lot better. Apologies, several characters may seen..ha ha, out of character (9w9) since 'lil assistant is writing today.
...
I'll try to make this A/N short because you've been waiting forever and I *sigh* -we apologize. Now without further ado, let's begin.
P.S. This chapter goes out to MMM, you know who you are.
Rolling over in her bed, Leia sighed. She hadn't been able to sleep all night, and yet, she had no idea why. Something was bugging her, which led to the Alderaan princess to toss, turn, and sweat.
Sitting up and pinching her nose, she slowly crept out of bed and over to the nearest mirror. With a sigh, Leia stared into her reflection: an absolute wreck. Several things had gone wrong during a secret meeting between two important planets when the Empire appeared and Leia was seriously upset. She had purposely told her guards to triple security, but they instead goofed off because she was "such a worry-wart" which led to the imperials nearly sneaking in without any warning. This was just the start of horrid things.
A delegate catching on fire. A speederbike accident (no one was hurt, but the relationship between several planets became a bit estranged after someone spread the rumor of attempted assassination). Hostages. Stolen supplies. Ambushed by pirates. The list went on and on.
Lately, the only thing that had seemed to make me crack up just by thinking of it, was the prank war that the Ghost crew had started not too long ago.
'Hmm...' Leia glanced at the time. 0500 hours. In two hours or so, she would be meeting up with Commander Sato and the Ghost Crew. And Leia knew a few friends who would certainly not expect her to join in their little prank war, but hey, she needed this.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the pilot of the Ghost slowly made her way over to the kitchen to take the last bit of coffee before Kanan got to it. What she didn't expect, was to see Leia in there, fixing her a mug of steaming, extra creamy, delicious coffee.
"Oh, good morning!" Leia squeaked, turning around and knocking something on the floor. As Hera turned her head to glance down, the said item disappeared. Not wanting to waste any time, Hera began to reach for a mug and check the container of coffee. Unfortunately, it was empty.
"Want some coffee? Ezra told me that you like it extra creamy." She smiled, picking up the mug gingerly to avoid spilling it.
"Aww, thanks, I'd love some. If you see Ezra, tell him I said "thanks". Such a sweet kid, unlike his egotistic, dumb-head of a master..." Hera muttered, walking off with the mug of coffee. Smirking, Leia followed a couple feet behind to see the fate of the unlucky Twi'lek. It wasn't long before she took a sip and, not expecting it to be so hot, let out a muffled screech.
Hera desperately tried to pry the mug from her face, but only ended up spilling more of the liquid on herself. Seeing that her work was done, Leia promptly left for her next target, snickering all the way.
Sabine exited her room, half-curious, half-annoyed to hear such loud noises in the morning. She had been up all night working on her latest masterpiece and didn't get much sleep. Knowing the crew, most of them wouldn't be up this loud at 6 unless Kanan had done another prank on the unfortunate victim that was probably Hera.
What she wasn't expecting was to find Hera struggling to get a mug off her face and knocking over a few things in the process. Figuring that she could probably just grab a few articles of food (so Ezra, Zeb, or Chopper wouldn't be able to "poison" or eat it first), put them in her room, and then come back to help Hera, Sabine opened the fridge, but promptly slammed the door shut.
Zeb had also come stumbling into the room, his face half-tangled in plastic wrap.
"Zeb, whatever you do, do not tell Ezra to open that door."
"What *grumble* harm could that *mutter, grumble* do?" Finally getting free from the plastic trap, he balled it up and took in a breath of fresh air. Smirking at Sabine, Zeb shouted, "hey kid! Sabine wants to see you!"
Sabine face palmed, and almost instantly, Ezra quickly rushed into the room, nervously scratching his arm. "H-hey Sabine, what did y-"
"Zeb! This could seriously tr-" Zeb instantly shushed Sabine who tried to speak but instead found a face full of plastic wrap.
"There's something in the fridge for you."
"Hmph, really?" Ezra chuckled, "if you are trying to scare me, it won't work-" Ezra's words were interrupted as the Ghost's alarm system began to go haywire, which soon became in sync with Ezra's terrified screams as a sparkly, pink lothcat leapt out of the fridge. "WhatonLothalisthatdoinginthere?"
Zeb burst out into laughter and pointed at Ezra's pale face. "I don't have any idea what you're saying!"
"I-I-I said what on Lothal is that doing in there!" Ezra shrieked, turning toward Zeb and grabbing the nearest piece of molding fruit he could find, chunking it into Zeb's open mouth. At first, Zeb began to laugh some more, then he coughed before swiftly spiting the piece of fruit into Kanan's face.
Rubbing his eyes and frowning, Kanan turned away from the noise and tried to get back to sleep. A moment later, the sounds became twice as loud, mixed with screaming, laughing, and the Ghost's alarms ringing loudly. Cranky and frustrated from being awoken so early, Kanan dragged himself out of his bed and slowly made his way towards the source of the commotion.
'I don't think I honestly want to know what's going on, but I hope that my presence will make them-' Splat! Cringing and wiping the offending piece of 'food' on his face, Kanan turned on the lights in the dark kitchen and stared angrily at the noisy crew. Slowly, Kanan's faced turned from anger, to humor, to worry. Why was Ezra as pale as Stormtrooper armor? Is Hera struggling to get a mug off her face? Is Sabine alright? And what's up with Zeb? Was he just choking a moment ago?
"Erhm, guys, what's going on?" Kanan asked, crossing his arms and mustering his most menacing glare at the crew. His eyes glanced back in the direction of Hera, who continued to fight with the cup. A smug grin slowly made its way across Kanan's face but was short lived once Hera saw it. Kanan was instantly smacked.
"Oww..." rubbing the place of impact, Kanan slowly made his way over to Ezra and opened the fridge. "What the...guys, why are there eyeballs on the food? I know it may have molded or whatever but bad food doesn't grow eyes. I mean...food I've seen." Kanan looked over his shoulder to find confused shrugs and baffled expressions. "Oh well, at least the coffee shouldn't have any problems."
"Are you kidding me? Urgh! Forget this, I'm taking a shower!" Kanan angrily stormed out of the room, dripping wet and moping. The rest of the bewildered crew managed to free, compose, or save themselves from their current misfortunes. Ezra, meanwhile, escaped the room as soon as he recovered, which promptly pointed out the culprit who was the reason the alarms were going off. Grumbling, a highly irritated Twi'lek stomped over to shut it off. Trudging down the hallway, Hera vowed to never take pre-made coffee from Kanan or Ezra.
'I guess 'like master like padawan' is true...argh...' Pinching the bridge of her nose, Hera was about to enter the cockpit when she noticed Chopper screeching and the sound of water sizzling on circuits. And the noise was coming from the cockpit. Hera's heart beat faster as she dashed the last few feet to the control room, holding her breath all the way. The door opened and, leaping over Chopper who laid on the ground "groveling in pain" she sighed and hugged her seat and the yoke (steering wheel for ships).
"Thank goodness you're safe. I was so worried that some numbskull had spilled wa-"
Chopper wailed and spluttered before he went silent. Turning around, Hera finally noticed who had received the dousing of water.
"Chopper!" Hurrying over to the poor droid, she knelt beside it and tried to turn him back on. Instead, water came flowing out from a few loose bolts. "Kanan! Ezra! Get in here now!"
Rubbing her hands together Leia smirked, wondering how the aftermath of her boatload of pranks had turned out. After Zeb walked into the plastic wrap she punctually bolted out the door and to the command ship. Of course, she'd know what happened later on when she retrieved the camera she hid. Mmmm...that will be some good footage to cheer me up when I leave in a few days. Even if they prank me back, I'm definitely still ahead.
As Leia mused on how the victims of her brilliant pranks would react (until she retrieved the footage), she turned down the hallway too fast and bumped into some random pilot. Apparently, she was talking to a friend of hers, who stopped and helped the woman up.
"Sorry-..wait, what's a little girl like you doing on this ship?"
"Little...? Excuse me, but I'm fourteen. And I happen to have business with the commander."
"And I'm married to a Jedi."
Eyebrow twitching, Leia crossed her arms, "look.. I don't exactly have time for this so if you would move-"
"Sorry girl, but you're coming with me-"
"Ah, there you are Leia! Commander Sato was looking for you." Ahsoka turned Leia around and swiftly pushed her off. "Don't mind her, she's still new and doesn't properly know everyone."
"I figured that, can you believe me? She called me 'a little girl'."
"She probably was just teasing you."
"She probably was not."
'She's going to get pranked, and she won't even have a clue...'
"Look Hera, I'm not sure why Chopper's bolts are loose-" Ezra mumbled, fidgeting with his lightsaber.
"-or why he is soaked with some water. It wasn't me." Kanan darted out of the room, leaving a clearly fuming Hera and his nervous padawan, Ezra. Turning towards the teen, Ezra slowly walked backwards, but paused at the door to see if Hera would react. Letting out a ginormous sigh, Hera waved him out.
"I'll just fix this myself then..." the befuddled, anxious Twi'lek muttered, leaving the room briefly to get tools. As she was passing the kitchen, she paused. There was someone whispering. Poking her head in, she tried to eavesdrop but their voices only got lower. Everyone was in there, and they were obviously worried about something.
"-wasn't me. I didn't plan on pranking you guys...'til later. Ouch, look, I know what you guys are going to do to me later." Ezra crossed his arms, but slowly unfolded them as he went to rub a new tender spot on his shoulder.
"Hera's pretty mad, so I say we pull out the one who pranked us the most and sacrifice them as tribute-"
"No way!"
"Why not?"
"Kanan you know full well."
"Aha," Kanan chuckled, smirking at his frightened padawan," ha ha, that's right. It'd be you."
"And that's my point."
"...okay...? Anyway, back to business here. If the culprit doesn't give up by tomorrow I'll just read your minds and publicly announce the culprit's secrets-"
"Let's not do that either." Sabine nervously laughed, glancing side-to-side and quickly averting her eyes from a curious and bewildered Ezra. 'There's absolutely no way I'm admitting or having anyone tell my secrets...'
"Well, why are you objecting? You have secrets?" Kanan smugly crossed his arms and wiggled his eyebrows.
"And so do you," Sabine retorted, poking Kanan in the chest, "and I'm sure you would just love to admit all of your secrets to a certain green skinned T-"
"-That doesn't bother me, we don't have keep secrets."
Hera frowned from behind her perch.
"Really?"
Kanan tried to keep up his facade, but as three (actually four) pairs of eyes glared at him, he sighed. "Okay, maybe we don't. But it's so Hera won't...erhm...agh...forget what I said, I'm out of here." Kanan quickly jumped up and dashed headlong into Hera.
There was a loud crash as the two collided into an unfortunate chair. Ezra, Sabine and Zeb stood up and looked to see what had happened.
"Ow!"
"Get off!"
"Sorry, but you're on me."
"I'm not-...oh, sorry."
"What brings you here Hera?"
"Nothing luv."
"Eavesdropping...?"
"...*grumble, murmur*..."
"Really?"
"...*mutter*..."
"I thought so." Kanan helped the flustered Twi'lek up who swiftly hurried out.
"What was that about?" Ezra questioned.
"Oh nothing really. But come to think of it, if none of you have done it, then who did?"
As soon as the debriefing was finished, Leia sauntered out the room to find that annoying pilot she had run into earlier. It was time for payback. After putting glue on the edge of a mug, plastic wrap in front of a door, eyes on food, a sparkly, pink lothcat in the fridge, making the water filter squirt its contents (hot or cold, whatever you picked) in your face, and placing a bucket over the cockpit door, Leia was on a roll. But she wouldn't stop now. Her last five victims were those two annoying pilots, Commander Sato, Rex, and...Ahsoka. Leia wasn't sure how she was going to pull it off, but if she acted innocent before she left they would never know.
'Ahh... it would be so fun to come back and see their faces when they find out-'
"Hey girl, watch where you're going! You could really make some people drop important and dangerous stuff." It was that pilot again, with her friend trailing not to far behind. "Now if you'll excuse me, 'princess', I have to deliver these to some peeps who are more significant than you. I'll be late if I waste any more time with you." Grumbling, the woman picked up the rest of her papers and dashed off. Her friend followed, not too far behind. Smirking, Leia turned into the room they just excited and smiled.
This was definitely their 'office'.
"Ah come on, I wasn't being too rough with her, she just...got me at a bad time. In fact, she always seems to be-" A loud gasp interrupted her. Looking over her shoulder, she spotted her friend, open-mouthed, pale, and just a bit faint. "Hey? What's wrong-" Turning around, the two promptly shrieked at what seemed to be a wampa, but they weren't going to stick around to confirm it. Sprinting down the hall, yelling and shouting, the two were unaware of the chuckles coming from the creature as it took off the costumed head.
Smiling, Leia silently left bits of evidence to Rex's room before tossing the costume in his closet. But that wasn't the only thing she planned on doing...
Picking up an airhorn, she taped it to the doorstopper before darting out the room and over to where Ahsoka typically hung out. Dropping a few plastic bugs in the coffee mug, she poured a little bit of coffee in and tied some more bugs over the door. The very last person she had to deal with, was probably going to be the hardest. Commander Sato.
He rarely left the room. He rarely left his seat. And she would have to think of something that would make him get up. The only person who has ever pulled a prank off on Commander Sato was the newly found jedi Kanan. As she mused over the thought, Leia went off for a lunch break.
"Ahsoka said it wasn't her. In fact, it probably won't be long before she is pranked. It seems that two other pilots had been as well. You should've seen them, screaming and hollering about some wampa." Kanan rolled his eyes, "How would a wampa get on this ship unnoticed anyways?"
"Hmm, so if it's not Ahsoka...could it possibly be Commander Sato?" Ezra suggested.
"Ezra Bridger, what makes you think Commander Sato would even do something so immature-" Hera rebuked.
"-He threw his pie in my face Hera," Kanan interrupted, crossing his arms.
"Oh, well you kind of deserved it-" Kanan let out a fake cough as he glared and Hera just returned it with a sly grin,"-anyways, as I was saying, Commander Sato most likely wouldn't do stuff like that..." Kanan coughed again. "Unless he's provoked of course." At this, Hera stuck her tongue out at Kanan. Being sly, Kanan took a clothespin and snapped it on her tongue.
"Ow! Ka-nan! Thalrt hueart!"
"You'll be fine, anyways, I have to speak to Ahsoka." Kanan smiled, jumping up and hurrying out. Taking the clothespin off her tongue as she tried not to wince, Hera stood up and walked off.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine...*mutter, mumble, grumble, hiss*..."
After filling a bucket of dirty water in a metal box, she placed a spring on the bottom and attached it to a binder and put the closest thing that looked like important papers on top. Coating his few precious bars of soap in clear nail polish, she put it back in it's spot and looked at the whoopie cushions she had managed to get. Smiling, she placed it by Ahsoka's office and waited for Rex to appear. It didn't take long for him to appear, but she soon became nervous as he made his way over to Ahsoka's room. Jumping quickly, she leapt from her hiding space, surprising him.
"Oh, I didn't see you there."
"You're Rex right?"
He nodded, "do you need something?"
"Well," looking around nervously, Leia sucked in a deep breath. "These papers are important, she told me to give them to Commander Sato but they're a bit too heavy for me so I was hoping-"
"No problem, I'll carry them after I speak-"
"Oh, she's busy! Don't interrupt her. Now hurry, those are important!"
"Well, if you say so."
As Rex turned around, Leia smiled. Almost as soon as he was gone, Ahsoka appeared.
"Huh, I thought he would've been here." Before she spotted her, Leia had hid again. Opening the door, Ahsoka gasped, before flipping backwards. She sighed when she noticed the plastic spiders. "Huh, I must be a little jumpy." She nervously chuckled as she made her way over to freshly steaming coffee. There was also a small note. Even though Leia couldn't read it, she knew what it said. In fact, she had forged everything except for the signature. While Rex was busy, she got him to sign.
Hey,
Important business with the commander came up at the last moment. I'll be a little late.
Enjoy,
Rex
Picking it up, Ahsoka smiled. And then she dropped the glass and jumped away. "More spiders?!" Leia flinched as the nice mug greeted the cold floor. "Rex is going to get it..."
Thinking that it would be best to witness her next victim, Leia dashed off towards the control room where Sato would probably be until he heads to his office. She was just in time to see Rex hand the fateful 'important papers' to a grumbling Kanan, who made his way over to Commander Sato. Before the package was transferred, the filthy water connected with Sato's freshly cleaned face. There was a loud gasp. A nervous chuckled. And then there was a long silence.
"Kanan Jarrus, for the last time would you..." And then the unthinkable thing happened. Apparently, not all the water had splashed on him, so Sato flung the rest at Kanan's amused but partly-horrified face.
"Agh, this reeks!" Kanan covered his nose and darted out the room, his boots making a squishy sound as he hurried back to change. Leia smiled.
Her work here was done.
Extra's 21: Hera's P.O.V
I hurried back to the cockpit with some tools and a rag to attempt to dry Chopper out. Honestly, whoever thought pouring water on Chopper was a good idea honestly did not know that it's the stupidest idea ever. Grumbling to myself, I took him apart piece by piece, drying and applying oil as I continued.
Well, at least it wasn't the yoke (steering wheel) of the Ghost, or things could've gotten ugly really quick...
After some minutes or so Chopper was back online, and furious. Beeps, bops, and ugly words I'd rather not repeat, I'm sure it's obvious that Chopper wants to hunt down the prankster just as much as I do.
"HERA!" Frowning, I stood up to see what was the problem that made the usually calm Kanan shout. Chopper followed not too far behind.
"Yeah?"
"Are we out of hot water and soap?!"
Wringing the wet rag in my hand nervously I slowly replied, "what's the problem, luv?"
"What's the problem? I'll tell you what's the problem." Kanan rounded the corner, dripping wet and reeking of slime and other morbid things. "This is the problem. Commander Sato flung this...stuff on me! Doesn't he know the pie smell took forever to get out of my hair?"
Hiding my laugh I let out a tiny giggle before glancing about. "Well...I'm not sure what happened, but I highly doubt he knows how long pie takes to wash out. It probably wouldn't take long if you took your ponytail out and let someone wash it."
"If you are implying that you want to wash my hair, you should stop." Kanan stepped into the refresher and then groaned. "Hera..."
"Yes?"
"Where's the soap.."
Thinking back to the time I was able to take a long luxurious bath I nervously replied, "I have no idea..." In fact, the soap may or may not have slipped into the water while I wasn't looking and disappeared. It wasn't my fault that there wasn't a lot left. Or that I really wanted to take a bath. Or that Kanan would come in leaving puddles of...
OH no...
"Kanan Jarrus, get out here and mop up those puddles!"
Sticking his head out, Kanan rolled his eyes. "I'll get to that later."
"No Kanan, you'll get to that now. I just hand mopped the floor a few hours ago."
"Urgh...can't Ezra do it? I'll just make more puddles..."
"..."
Hallelujah. I'm done. After about two days of working and writing this out, I present to you the longest chapter [so far] for Rebel Wars. At a total of 4,000+ words, this is twice the amount for any usual chapter because I usually write 2,000+ words. But since I haven't written in a while I gave you guys a little treat. I took off some of my free time of binge watching movies I haven't seen that have come out in the last two years (because I don't go to movie theaters often). But I'm happy I'm done! Myths of Merriment/Lil' Assitant/whatever I called myself has done it! If you didn't see it, I used skypeoplepheonix732's review (from Chapter 19) about Ezra's mishap and the Ghost's alarm system. But it wasn't over Tatooine. So maybe it'll happen again 9w9 [hue hue hue]. Yep, and also there was sparkly, pink, lothcats again. That may or may not be a recurring joke/running gag (because a lothcat runs xD).
Now for me to reply to the reviews from our last absence.
Specter 13 - I'm - I mean, we're back! Did you miss us? And I hope you've read Jedi Showoff during our absence. Maybe we'll add a revised version with an extra chapter [no promises though] to 'Rebel Wars' since it is a prank? And we'll find a way to get Rex involved. In fact, he's probably going to be pranked twice by certain victims (a.k.a Kanan, Ahsoka, those random pilots, or whoever we feel like [or you suggest]). Thanks for reviewing!
AuthorPen11 - Glad you enjoyed the previous chapter (which was not the absence note by the way! And please, don't set us on fire or no new chapters 6w6 btw that's the British way of spelling tomato
nightFrost - I have never told a bed time story soo, you're doing great! Thanks, I only get better off of Fanfiction so you should make an account and get rolling. #GodsNotDead #LOLZ
Starlight Moon Midnight - I am so sorry for the delay, but I updated. Once they find out that Leia is behind these shenanigans...
MafiaMarshMello aka ValkyrieBaymax - I'm so glad that you kicked my butt back into gear XD. This chapter goes out to you MMM :) Sorry Ezra hasn't pranked yet but he will soon. Revenge of the pink sparkly lothcat... btw, I wonder how Leia even knew about that.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Leave your welcome back notices, reviews, comments, prank suggestions, etc. in the review box for a reply and a chance to have your prank 'transmissions' or suggestions used in the Extra' or in the next chapter! Also, which prank in this chapter is your favorite!
Until next time! Adios mis amigos/amigas!
LOF~