Chapter Ninety Nine: Locker Room Talk
You think that I am fragile like a Fabergé
You think that I am cracking, but you can't break me
Katy Perry - Hey Hey Hey
The locker room hadn't changed at all during the time that Maggie had been away and there was an odd comfort in that. That familiar chill still resided in the air, leaving goosebumps upon her pale flesh as she stripped the warm, quilted jacket from her body and placing it lovingly upon the wooden bench in front of her locker. The Metallica sticker was still stuck to blue painted metal, along with the rainbow colored unicorn sticker that Kayla had given her to brighten up her day a few months ago. Her fingertips brushed over the bright colors causing Maggie to smile at the thoughtfulness of her friend. The sticker still made her smile on the most darkest of days, it was a simple gift but it never ceased to bring a little happiness.
Maggie reached for the tiny combination lock she had fastened to the door, her deft fingertips twisting the combination from memory before she heard the satisfying click before the lock separated. It took a second or two for her to remove it completely before she pulled the door open, revealing her freshly pressed uniform, folded neatly onto two neat hangers. In the bottom of her locker, she could see her boots had been freshly cleaned and polished, the toiletries she kept on the top shelf were all brand new and unopened. Maggie didn't think she'd ever been so grateful for Kim Burgess, she'd dreaded coming back to what she suspected would have become a bio hazard in her absence. Having a clean locker was just one less thing she had to deal with on her return to work and she deeply appreciated it.
Maggie grasped the hem of her midnight blue v-neck shirt before pulling it off over the top of her head, leaving her clad in her faded denim jeans and sports bra. She tossed the item of clothing onto the wooden bench behind her, before her gaze was inadvertently drawn down to the ugly red scars that transected her pale flesh. The thin, raised lines decorated her torso in bursts of stops and starts, the most predominant disappearing under the waistband of her jeans. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to seeing her new adornments, she was still constantly surprised when she looked down and saw them etched into her flesh.
"That guy really did a number on you didn't he?" Mike Sorenson's voice echoed through the vacant locker room, jolting Maggie from her reverie as she turned her head to face him.
The other police officer was standing on the opposite side of the gap between the lockers, a green paper towel clasped between his palms as he rubbed them dry. His curly black hair was combed back behind his ears, into the neat style he wore when he was work. He was wearing his vest over the baby blue uniform as his gaze fixated on violent lines that marred her pale skin. She would have changed in the bathroom if she had noticed he was lurking around, she was still finding it hard to come to terms with them herself, she wasn't sure how she felt about other people seeing them.
Now that it was out in the open Maggie didn't dare shrink back under his inquisitive stare. In their world that would be an admission of weakness and she had promised herself to stand tall in the aftermath of the attack, no matter how it made her feel deep down inside. If she was a man, she'd be viewed as a hero for surviving something so horrific by her peers, however as a woman she was viewed as a victim and she refused to let that be the mantle she carried with her for the rest of her career. She would prove that she was just as capable as anyone else in the precinct.
"Yea. He did." Maggie said, answering Sorenson's earlier query. Her voice devoid of emotion as she twisted her gaze back towards her locker before she reached in and removing the blue polyester shirt from it's hanger.
"Does it still hurt?" Sorenson asked her curiously, tossing the paper towel he had been drying his hands with into the trash can before turning his full attention onto her. "I had a buddy who got stabbed once, he said he could tell when it was going to rain because the damn thing would ache like hell."
This was a conversation she did not want to be having right now. She had imagined variations of it a thousand times over but she had never foreseen that Mike Sorenson would be the one to ask the questions. It made it worse somehow, more invasive, despite the fact she knew he was simply wondering the same thing as everyone else. The truth was she simply didn't like the other police officer, she couldn't pin it down to just one thing. He had twenty years on the job despite the fact he looked ten years younger, he was also a self proclaimed member of the 'boys club'. She didn't trust him to do the right thing when it came down to it and that had only been reinforced through Roman's stories of his antics during the past few months she had been on medical.
"It's mostly superficial." Maggie indulged the other officer as she slipped her arms into the sleeves of her blouse, pulling the starched material closed over her torso before she began to do up the buttons from the bottom upwards.
That was another habit she had picked up over the past couple of months. Instead of starting at he the top as she had in the past she now buttoned up her shirts from the bottom in order to cover the hideous scars before anyone else could see them. The effort was wasted here but it was something she would have to force herself to get out of eventually. Doctor Charles wanted to reinforce her sense of self esteem, he told her that the scars were the traits of a survivor, she had gone something horrific but she made it through the other side. She should be proud of that not ashamed. She was working on that as much as she could at the moment but some days the burden was harder to bear than others.
"He wanted to leave his mark..." Sorenson said sagely, his limber arms crossed over his chest as he nodded his understanding.
She wasn't sure if he was trying to be sympathetic or appear knowledgeable, either way it rubbed her wrong. Sorenson didn't know a damn thing about what Jack had wanted. The intention hadn't been to leave his mark at all, he had planned for her to die as slowly as humanly possible in that hellish place as a way to punish Antonio. He had known that the stress position would have eventually finished her off and that suffocation would take a lot longer than blood loss, it was the reason every single one of those cuts had been shallow. They were deep enough to hurt like a bitch but not to rush her all the way to those pearly gates. She had to hand it to him he knew what he'd been doing, it was only the arrival of the Intelligence Unit that had bought her back from death's door.
"Something like that." Maggie answered, pursing her lips together grimly as she jerked her head towards the exit of the locker room impatiently. "You gonna let me get dressed or are you just gonna enjoy the view some more?"
"I was going to take another minute to enjoy the show but I'm gonna head out before Platt writes me up for being late." Sorenson responded, jerking his thumb at the doorway. "I'll see you out there."
Maggie stared at his retreating back for a moment in distaste before rolling her eyes towards the ceiling, praying for strength.
Hey guys, so you've just met Mike Sorenson. Thoughts?
Lauren: I just realised that the dog thing never gets explained. Let me give you some context. I always envisioned that Trudy has friend who trains police dogs and she helps out there taking care of them and walking them and helping with the training from time to time. Hence bringing Maggie along to help. Kayla's Dad actually owns Simba and you will defo get to hear about him soon. In my mind Platt has been in a recovering position herself and she won't let Maggie sink into the depressed state she was heading towards. I think we get to see a bit of Kay soon in the next chapter or so. She has been helping out Antonio a little with his recovery as he's not been in a great place.
Anime: I just burst out laughing because I ended up with 50 shades of Roman in my head. Kay's scumbag ex does not return but you do see a more malevolent side to someone else. On the dog front, I realised that the dog thing never gets explained. Let me give you some context. I always envisioned that Trudy has friend who trains police dogs and she helps out there taking care of them and walking them and helping with the training from time to time. Hence bringing Maggie along to help. I think Maggie is very aware of her limitations and her aim is to get better,the whole event rocked her world and it's about getting that confidence back. I always imagine Mags and will having that trust where she respects him enough to listen to him, although actually writing them together is tough because they start having chem and I am like no! Bad chars! Hence why they are never in a scene together. I think Mags is more protective of herself than bitter what happened with him leaving knocked her for six. I literally love writing the two of them, near the end of the story they just have this amazing convo after this horrific event and I just adored writing them. For now Antonio is sticking with Voight. The other story is on hold because I ended up being swept up in another couple who basically exploded onto the scene and took over completely.
Soccer: Maggie has thus been one of my fav chars to write because she's so open to everything. She is very human and very flawed and I think that's what makes people identify with the char. Platt is one of my fav chars and I adore writing her and watching her on TV she makes me laugh so much!
Nat: I think Maggie is one of the most real chars I've ever written, she has these flaws and it's about exploring how she gets past the issues she has. I know Rhodes and Choi, didn't expect them. It started with a scene in an elevator and then just exploded into a full blown thing. Thanks for your support on the story. Not many people write about Ethan (which is a shame) and Connor always gets paired with an OC so there doesn't seem to be much of an interest out there for them. However they have a story to tell so I'm writing it and I am absolutely enjoying it. Maggie and Antonio do 'run in' to each other. You'll get some insight into Antonio's state of mind in the next few chapters.