Story so far: James has to stay at Lily's house to power the protection wards. In exchange for James being on his best behaviour to everyone (including Snape), Lily will go on one date a week with him.

On the bright side, James did find some muggle clothes to wear, and they were the specified jeans and t-shirt. On the not-so-bright side, he borrowed them from Peter.

They had tried to resize a shirt for him, but after twenty minutes of flipping through books and casting hopefully, it had one giant sleeve, a collar that would have fit a doll and had gone a muddy brown colour. As the train pulled into the station, James had wriggled into Peter's loosest clothes, and glared at his best friends. "Not a word," he warned.

"Not even a picture?" Peter asked in a small, delighted voice, and James stalked off.

"Is that -"

"Potter's wearing -"

"Does he think that's normal for muggles -"

"Is that normal for muggles?" One boy asked, and James simply turned his head and said 'yes' in a tone of utter conviction. Maybe the universe would bless him, and the boy would try wearing the same?

At last, he was on the station, looking round for Lily's blazing red hair and waving at his friends. Peter's mother was smothering him in kisses - take a picture of that - and Remus was laughing with his father. Sirius was standing with his brother for the first time all year, though they were both looking pointedly in the opposite direction. And then -

"You must be James," a giant of a man said. He was easily six foot four, with blondish hair, a squat face and a pleasant smile. The resemblance to Lily was non-existent, except for the green eyes, which had the same bright intelligence. "I'm Albert Evans, a pleasure to meet you." He stopped, seemingly taking in the full-effect for the first time. "Are you - you seem to be wearing..."

Words failed them both for a moment. "Yes - I, uh, borrowed them. Only had wizard's robes," he stuttered, realising with a sinking feeling that this was Lily's dad. The first time he met her father, and - well -

"Perhaps we can get you some new clothes for the summer then," he said, as evenly as possible, which only made James blush more.

"Yeah, sounds great," he said, his words running together. "I have money - muggle money that is, my parents owled it to me. I mean, by owled, I mean -"

James Potter was ready to hand in his Most Attractive Fifth Year Wizard badge, awarded by none other than Acadia Vane, in light of recent events. Two second year girls burst into giggles as they walked by.

Just because Peter was short and plump, and James was tall and broad, and the clothes… Well, pinched in places and sagged in others.

"Merlin, what are you wearing, Potter?" Lily asked, jogging over to them. James could see Marlene in the distance, looking at him as though staring hard enough would turn him into a frog at any moment. If he had the option, he might have.

"What you told me to wear," he said, glancing round for the escape route. "Can we go now?"

"In a moment," Mr Evans said, his lips going pale with the effort of not smiling. "Just as soon as - ah, there you are Severus. Have you had a good year?"

James turned. Severus was looking at him with a mixture of confusion, horror, disgust and glee. "What are you wearing? And why?" Severus said, his normal drawl absent, but the hate ever-present.

James stiffened. "You're hardly -"

But he stopped, glancing at Lily. She had a smug, cat-got-the-cream grin, and raised one delicate eyebrow. He swallowed, hard. "I'm staying with Lily all summer," he said, and Snape looked like he'd just sucked a lemon, eyes darting between them.

"We were just looking for you, Severus," Mr Evans broke in hastily, eyes darting between them. "Have you got all your luggage boys? Lily? Good, let's go to the car."

"If you two kill each other, I'm not cleaning it up," Lily muttered in a voice too low for her father to hear, as they wheeled their bags through the platform, through the wall and to the station exit.

"Sweet Merlin," James cursed under his breath, jogging to keep up with them. There were muggles everywhere, and muggle machines, and muggle papers and muggle trains and muggles giving him suspicious, anxious looks.

"Never been to the dirt world, Potter?" Severus hissed, out of earshot of Mr Evans. "Not good enough for you?"

James looked quickly away from a man in a strange uniform, who was giving their bags suspicious looks. "I didn't realise Death Eaters made day trips to the muggle world, Snivellus," James hissed, "what are you, the tour guide? Do they pay you? Is that your uniform?"

Snape went red and blotchy, but Lily had twisted round, sensing trouble in that bizarrely accurate way of hers. "Something wrong, Potter?" Her voice was scarily polite.

"Nothing," he said quickly, "it's a big station."

And then they were out in the open at last, except it wasn't truly open. Buildings crammed round them, and there were muggle cars everywhere, and muggle car-directing-systems, and lots of busses that were bright red instead of bright purple.

Suddenly Lily was next to him, giving him a concerned look, which would have been wonderful if Snape wasn't watching his every move. "Really Potter, you look like shit. Have you - oh bugger it, you're one of those purebloods, aren't you?"

"What kind of pureblood?" Mr Evans asked interestedly.

"The type that's never been in the muggle world," Lily said, not even bothering to check with him. "Jeez, I'd thought that story with Pettigrew was an exaggeration. Look, it's fine, just follow us, yeah?"

If only Snape would bugger off, and he could ask Lily what to do, and if hiding his owl might help. Fuzzy was sleeping, unconcerned by another Hogwarts train journey, but the muggles around seemed to find him very odd. James knew they didn't use them for post, but did they not even keep owls as pets?

He followed Lily until they found the car in the car park, which had knocked James for six at the sheer sight of it. There had been hundreds of parked vehicles, and Mr Evans had cheerfully said that there were five floors on this car park, and dozens of car parks in the area, and hundreds in the city. James had stayed rather quiet after that, but he gave Snape a swift, triumphant look when showing Mr Evans his shrinking bag.

Mr Evans' face had split into a delighted grin. "That's marvellous. Look at that, Lily! Eleanor and I never get to see magic, except for our yearly trip to that wizarding street, Diaglom Alley."

"Dia-gon Alley, dad," Lily corrected, an affectionate smile on her lips.

"It's a good thing it does shrink," Mr Evans said, as he stowed the now briefcase-sized bag under a seat. There's no more room in the boot, so let's put Severus' bags on the front seat, and then you three kids go in the back. You've got your owl, James? All aboard then!"

The three of them looked at each other, horrified, before Lily huffed. "I'll take the middle seat," she said, and they clambered in after her.

It was squished and stuffy and the car moved very slowly, but James didn't mind at all, because he spent every second craning his neck to see out the window. Everything amazed him - street after street of chaos, people moving on strange contraptions with wheels, and buildings that rose and rose and rose into the sky.

"What is that?" James asked, forgetting for a moment that Snape was just a few feet away. Lily leant over him, or tried to, but Fuzzy's cage was in the way. Suddenly, James didn't like Fuzzy much.

"Oh, that's a skyscraper," she said, and then grinned at James' mind-blown face. "They don't actually scrape the sky, and it's nothing to New York. I can't believe you haven't seen one before."

"We don't go into the muggle world, really," James said, feeling awful and out-of-place. "I've walked through muggle towns to meet magical friends, but what with the Statue of Secrecy… We stay away from cities, you know?"

"Because who knows what evil lurks there," Severus muttered and James glared at him. Unfortunately, Lily was sitting between them, and intercepted him with that I-own-you look he was quickly learning to hate.

"Come on Severus, I'm sure James has a good reason," Mr Evans said, his eyes still on the traffic, which was picking up pace at last.

James shrugged. "My grandparents grew up in the 1850s when some muggles still believed in witchcraft, so they only visited if there was dire need. They never brought their children - my dad and mum - because the world was so violent. It's too much of a risk for my parents to be around muggles now, because they know nothing about this world. Breaking the Statue is the number one reason why people get sent to Azkaban - that's the wizarding prison, and it's nasty as hell - and there's been so much change… It's sad really, because the longer they stay away, the higher of risk is."

They lapsed mostly into silence after that, broken only by James' occasional quests for information, Mr Evans' confusing explanations that Lily had to interpret, and Snape's periodic insults. He learnt about motorways, and lorries, and he asked about engines, but he was obviously missing something, because there was no way that mini explosions were propelling them forward.

At last, they turned into a quiet, rather downtrodden street, and Mr Evans parked up. "Home again, home again, jiggety-jig!" He said, and helped them get their bags out. "Do you want something to drink before you go home, Severus? Eleanor has missed you, you know."

Snape - who had grown mercifully quiet as they neared the Evans' house - shook his head. He glanced awkwardly at Lily, who was pointedly looking at the ground. That day by the lake, pushed out of the way on the journey home, hovered between them. James tried to remember everything he knew about wandless, wordless mind control, and directed it at Snape's greasy head. Tell them you're busy this summer. Tell them you're busy this summer.

But Snape caught his eye, and his gaze hardened. Competitive little sod. "I'll come round tomorrow, if that's good," he said, with a polite nod to Mr Evans. "See you soon, Lily."

Lily glared at him, but he was already scooping his bags up, his ridiculous shirt billowing behind him.

They trooped into the house, stumbling over each other in the small corridor. At last they were in the kitchen, and a short, brown-haired woman hung up the phone as they came in, smiling broadly. "Lily-flower!" She opened her arms and Lily ran over, hugging her mother hard. "Oh, every time you go I think you'll never come back!" She was laughing, but James looked away. She was strikingly similar to his own mum, if several decades younger. "And where's Severus?"

James gritted his teeth. How had the git wormed his way so deeply into their lives? But Lily had gone stiff, and pulled away. "Seeing his mum," she said with a shrug. "This is James Potter, by the way."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Evans," he said, shaking her hand with his most charming smile. The clothes rather ruined the effect, but James was determined; by the end of the summer, he would be the asked-about school friend. Not the git.

"Who was that on the phone?" Lily interrupted, one arm still slung around her mother's waist. "Was it Petunia?"

"Yes, dear," Mrs Evans said, looking rather anxious. "I just explained to her the arrangement, and she's - not best pleased to be sharing a room with you. She's gone to a friend's house to cool off. Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm sure she'll be home soon."

But Lily was shaking her head. "Fine," she said, almost savagely. "She can act like a child if she wants, that's not my problem. Come on, James, you'll sleep in my room."

He followed her down the corridor, into a small, pokey room with light blue walls. The furniture was shabby, and even though James knew nothing about muggle houses, he knew it was cheap. "Thank you," he said, trying to force as much sincerity into the words as possible. "For sharing, with your sister. That's Petunia, right?"

"Yep," Lily said, closing the door behind them. The room suddenly felt unbearably small. "And don't thank me. You're not here because I want you to be."

Well, that was a slap in the face. "I've kept the rules though, haven't I?" He reviewed them quickly. "No magic, no muggle things, no Petunia, no flirting and no pranks."

Lily lifted an eyebrow, arms crossed tightly against her chest. "And I thought I'd never see the day: the Great James Potter, remembering the rules."

James grinned at her, running a hand through his hair and standing up a little straighter. "I have excellent reason to remember," he said, and she snorted in disgust.

"Rule number four, Potter, rule number four," was all she said, and she left him to unpack.

James was just putting Wonderful Woollongong: Memoirs of the Zigzag Chaser King on the shelf, next to the rather slender Quidditch Through the Minutes: How the Shortest Games were Won, when it hit him.

He had a week to plan his first date with Lily, in the muggle world, with no way of asking his friends for help.

His first date. With Lily Evans.

Crossing abruptly to the trunk, he pulled an inkpot and quill out, straightened the quill feathers and leant some parchment against a book. There was no desk, and James felt a pang of longing for his own bedroom… and his study and games room and bathroom and quidditch fields and semi-illegal magic lessons. No Lily in that world though, and definitely no dates with Lily.

James put quill to parchment, writing as legibly as he could.

Wormtail,

Hope your home and being bombarded with cake and sweets by now. (That actually sounds like a great end-of-year prank, if we could convince the house-elves.) Lily's parents are lovely people, and Lily is as brilliant as ever. She doesn't seem that fond of me, yet, but I have eight weeks to work with!

The muggle world is different, isn't it? It's like being dropped off on another planet, I'm not sure what Dumbledore was thinking. What's fun to do? My parents sent me lots of muggle money to have fun, and I want to treat Lily. The only problem is Snivellus. Everyone seems to think he'll hang around here all the time, which is just creepy. Maybe if it's something that muggle girls like to do, he won't want to come?

Looking forward to seeing you. Be nice to the people in the box.

Prongs.

James looked the letter over with satisfaction, then rolled it up to send later. He had been rather sly, he thought - though definitely not Slytherinesque.

With the full force of the Marauders behind him, who could stop James in his mission to make Lily Evans fall in love with him? With a grin, James went to do what all charming young men know by instinct - to become friends with Lily's mother.

A/N: Thanks so much for the comments! Updates won't always be this quick, but I'll try to make them at least once a week.

Is this going too slow? I know it's taken about 5,000 words to cover… 2 and half hours of story time. We will speed through the next few days, I promise!

If you have any questions or things that don't seem to work, ask away :)