TRIGGER WARNING Some drugs. I'm not sure if that can be considered a trigger, seeing as I've never experienced it, but better safe than sorry I guess.

There's a flashback on when she was on drugs, but I've never been high before (I'm fourteen, not prude) so please forgive if it's not accurate. I tried to read about what it feels like, but it's challenging to write about something you've never experienced.

Let's have some Aubrey-Beca bonding time, yeah?

Christmas Eve.

Her family, even when she was a young child, made the indefinite settlement to not celebrate anything. No birthdays, no holidays, nothing. It was never for religious reasons, they simply (Beca guessed) didn't want to spend the time and effort to plan and execute the plan. Occasionally, when she needed new clothes usually, one of her parents would "surprise" her with a trip to the mall. She never took their viewpoint to be a bad thing, she'd grown up with forgetting it was her birthday until she looked at the calendar a week after. It wasn't a big deal, never was. Perhaps she didn't think much of it because she was never exposed to other people's celebration. Of course, she would always sit away from the other kids to draw in elementary school on Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, and every other prestigious holiday in public schools.

"Are you sure you have nothing more to do tonight?" asked Fran. "I know I pay triple on holidays, but really. You must have some free time at some point, no?"

Beca loved the guy, he was straight to the point and loved his job, but when he questioned personal things like these, it was a bit nerve wracking. "Personal" was not her relationship style. "No, no. I'd love to play tonight, keeps my mind busy." She offered a smile, which he understandingly took in.

Chloe had to go to her parents' house for the holidays, leaving Aubrey to spend the holidays alone. She had invited Beca to pass the isolated time, but the brunette didn't take the hint that she was truly wanted. She thought the blonde had made the suggestion to be polite. So Aubrey lay on her couch, waiting for the sugar cookies to bake at nine thirty in the night. The lightly playing Christmas music made the situation's vibe rather depressing. She wished she could have gone to her parents' home, but Mr. Posen was planning to station somewhere across the country, so it wouldn't be helpful if she went in needing to settle in for a few days. Her father wouldn't allow her to come home, he told her she could take the time to be with her friends. What he didn't know was that they were all with their families, having a good time as a unit. Well, except Beca, but she hadn't realized her neighbor was in town. When she was declined the offer to stay over, she assumed that she was gone like the other. Nope.

That's why, at eleven in the night, Aubrey was curious on who the person behind the door could be. When it was Beca with a thoughtful bottle of wine, the blonde made her set the bottle down before bending down for a hug. The helpless younger woman attempted a scramble out of it. Her breathing became labored, but returned to the average once she was let go of. "Sorry," Aubrey peeped.

"It's all good," she breathed unintentionally heavy.

An awkward silence draped over the two until the older of them spoke. "I thought you were away?"

"Nah," Beca felt a bit bad for leaving her on a lonesome night. "I, um, I was working. You know, they give you a shit ton extra for holiday. Just finished and thought I would see you. Since like, you're not with anyone right now. Sorry..." Her voice trailed off to be quiet.

"It's alright," they sat at the couch. "I reasoned that you'd be with family. Not this year?"

"Nah," not technically a lie, right? "We don't really celebrate Christmas anyway, so doesn't really bother me. What about you?" She could see that they could bond a tight friendship that night.

Aubrey avoided the last question. "That's different. Are you Jewish?"

It had made Beca a little that she was the one making all the answers. "No, we-" she stuttered over that word. "W-, um. We don't celebrate. It's nothing to do with religion. The-" another stutter over the word. She cleared her throat. "Uh, they hate celebrations, so we- as a..." she felt sick to say the words. "We as a family," it was a difficult phrase. "never do anything."

"Seriously? What about birthdays? Not even New Years?" Aubrey seemed almost exasperated.

"I've never had a birthday party," instead of keeping the dull mood in the air she joked, "One year I went a month without knowing I had turned ten. My dad had to check my birth certificate before confirming my mistake." She laughed. Aubrey didn't. It was more of an uneasy smile from the blonde. She could tell by the lightness that it was said with, it wasn't meant to come off as somber.

"Oh..." She wasn't really sure what to reply. "So it doesn't bother you if I give you a present and cookies?"

Beca was taken aback by the considerate gesture. "It doesn't bother me, but I kind of feel like a bad person for not having anything in return for you. I'm sorry. I can get you something late though."

"God, no! It's all good. Besides, giving is a great thing for me to practice," Aubrey chuckled. "So when did you graduate? Assuming you graduated of of course..."

Beca laughed out loud. "Yeah, I did in fact get by high school. Just a few years ago. Class of '08." She smiled, knowing she was going to be asked to repeat her age.

As suspected, Aubrey's expression contorted to become bewildered. "You couldn't have graduated when you were... what twenty three?"

"Nope, I had just turned eighteen that year. I'm twenty one right now."

"But you're so mature and you look-"

"Old. I know. This summer I'll be four years sober from drugs." Eh, what the heck. Beca thought. If I want a healthy friendship, can't lie. For the most part. The blonde's face softened.

"Congrats," she whispered. "Did you go to rehab? Shit, what about your dad? Was he mad?"

The brunette contemplated on how to answer. "Stacie was my rehab, the tall pretty one. Yeah, I lived with her for some good months plus. That's how we became best friends, we weren't from the same school at all." She chose to ignore the last two questions. Although she knew already, she asked, "So how'd you Chloe meet?"

Aubrey carried on with the familiar story, whilst Beca nodded and inquired the same information, brainlessly. Her mind was rushing on with drugs and how they had affected her. She reminisced on a specific night. Despite being high, she could play the memory like it had been the day before.

The sky was a giggly blue, saturated. Her brain made everything spin with colors. Her nose felt a little funny, something that could almost be pain, but she was too high to register that. After snorting two lines of basement coke, two pairs of bloodshot eyes gazed at the girl felt as if she were on top of the clouds, lying down in an open field. "Beca?! Beca?!" was heard out in the distance, but she didn't realize that was her name. Instead, she got up and stumbled across the land into a road. The voice calling the name became faint as the brunette made her trek. Suddenly, a vehicle slammed on its breaks in the dark night. Luckily for the stoner, the it was only a car that nudged her into a palms first fall. The gravel on the pavement made the wound hurt like a bitch. As the voice came nearer, she was being carried off toward where she had come from. It was Stacie who picked her up. There was a clearness in her eyes that indicated she was sober. Tears truckled down Beca's face, but she wasn't sure why. An attempt to apologize followed, but the words couldn't seem to form in her mouth.

Beca was always a great multitasker, which included listening and thinking. When Aubrey was done, the blonde was asking Beca about her mother. By then, Beca wasn't as mad as she had been, but if the woman thought she could ever just waltz back into her life, she would be dead wrong. There was still pain and hate for the touchy subject. "She left me and my dad,"" she replied as casually as possible. She began to play with her calluses on the tips of her fingers, an uncomfortable habit. "For a woman."

"Do you guys still talk at least?" Aubrey had a pained expression as thr blonde girl thought, Geez, this girl's been through a ton.

Beca didn't look up from her hands. "Nope. I haven't seen her in eleven years." She laughes, "I can't even remember what her voice sounds like anymore. Whatever."

"Yeesh, and I thought my parents were messed up."

"How do you mean?"

"Well my dad is an army commander and he's always up my ass about 'being a Posen.' Honestly, I gsve up trying to live up to his expectations a few years ago. If I got an A minus in any class, he'd tell me I hadn't tried hard enough. If I got an A plus, he'd ask me if I tried for extra credit. My mom wasn't so crazy about my grades, but about my social vibe. If I bought jeans, she'd cut them with Fiskars scissors to make them look like I stole them from a homeless shelter's lost and found. With sneakers, I remember one time I wanted some casual Nike's and I had a job, so I bought them with my own money. Next thing I knew, the soles were being melted in the oven. The house reeked for days." Aubrey cleared her throat in annoyance. "She got me Dansco's to replace them."

"Geezum. I'm glad I never got the real 'parents' undergo." They chuckled.

"Is your dad chill?"

Beca pondered on the thought of telling her. "He's um..." She'd never actually said it out loud. "He had his moments." She held her breath, hoping Aubrey wouldn't question the "had."

She didn't. "I get you." There was a moment of silence between them that didn't last awkwardly long. "So you never had a sibling or anything?"

"Nope. I'm pretty sure they tried for another, if you understand what I'm saying here, but nah. You?"

"Yeah, I have an older brother. He's like ten years older though. In the army, of course. My dad is proud of him. My mother approves," she sighed. "He's their perfect child."

Beca, not really knowing what to say, offered, "Well, to me your a pretty great friend, so I'm sure that should be weighted for something, no?"

"Awe, thanks Beca! That's so nice!"

She shifted uncomfortably, but remained grateful. "Anyhoo. I would ask if you wanted to have a super girly, totally over the top sleepover, but my room's still a little chilly."

"You could stay..." Aubrey gestured toward Chloe's bed. The younger girl did not want to be in someone else's bed, especially some she was well acquainted with.

Beca laughed. "I've gotten so used to the temperature in there, I'd be in the Sahara here. Thanks though." She got up to make her way to the door. "See you later?"

Aubrey nodded. "See ya."

And that concludes this update up. Reviews are always encouraging, whether negative or positive! Big thank yous to those still actually reading.