Title: just give me a reason
Summary: This isn't giving up. At least, that's what she tells herself.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Prompt: Losing Hope
Rating: T
Warning(s): Some hotness, but no sex. Just an intense make-out sesh.
Comments: You can take this in either AU or canon settings. Whether this is a modern fic or ninja fic is up to you. Whether they're all people who work at the same place, or Kakashi is her uncle and Sasuke and Naruto her longtime friends from highschool, or if you just want the good old regular Team 7 thing… ALL UP TO YOU. Also, I recommend listening to Start of Time by Gabrielle Aplin as soon as Sakura sees him at her window.

The decision is rather abrupt and out of the blue. There is nothing particular that sets it off, no harsh behavior from him or cold words, no careless brush-offs or rolling of eyes, no epiphany or new discovery…

Sakura just decides, one day, that she wants to date other men and doesn't want to be fixated on Sasuke anymore.

She supposes that waiting around eight years for him to come around has taken its toll on her poor heart. She supposes, Enough hope was lost along the way. I have had my share of heartbreaks, and I don't want to hurt anymore.

So she gets herself out there, and she dates. She comes across all sorts of men: those that only want to get in your pants, those that have no respect for women and think they don't deserve to be recognized, those that hold themselves in such high grounds that you can barely meet their standards, those that hold their women on a pedestal and treat them royalty (and not as normal people), those that stick to you like a leech, those that drown their sorrows and issues in alcohol, those that have the mentality of a five year old, and so many, many more that she fails to remember.

She meets all kinds of guys. And at first, it is kind of discouraging because they do not seem good enough, or nice enough, or capable enough to satiate her needs. She lets them hug her and kiss her cheek and her hand—but never her lips.

Sakura does not deem any of them worthy of her first kiss.

That is, until she stumbles upon Shin, one Saturday night, after four months of senseless dating.

Instantly, she flushes pink and does a double-take, blinking in surprise when she confirms his identity. It's been years since they've last spoken—what was it now, three? Four? Something like that. They hadn't seen each other since the day he gave her his love letter.

Technically, it hadn't been anything spectacular, and she probably would have forgotten about it under different circumstances, but Shin was the first boy to give her something like this. When she had denied his affections and told him there was someone else that she loved, he simply smiled and wished for it to work out for her. Since that day, she had kept the letter tucked neatly into a drawer as a fond memory.

But Sakura never expected she would see him again. Especially since he wasn't from around here.

So she decides to go for it.

"Shin?"

"Huh?" The man is momentarily confused, and it is understandable given that he doesn't come to this place enough times to be recognized, but the moment he spots her, a gratifying blush spreads to his cheeks. "Sakura-san?" he asks, voice filled with wonder. "Sakura-san, is that you?"

Sakura smiles most brilliantly in reply and nods, and when he beckons her to the seat beside him, she goes without hesitation.

Perhaps this could be exactly what she was looking for.

.

.

.

As it turns out, Shin wasn't what she is looking for, either. He is a nice man, really, but she finds out that there is such a thing as too nice.

His friend Tadashi, though, is a different story.

They meet through Shin that first night she runs into him, and from the start, she is instantly attracted to him. He is tall and handsome, with jet black hair and light blue eyes, and the word 'confident' is written all over his body. Sakura pleasantly notes that he didn't seem arrogant or narcissistic. And although she spends most of the night talking to Shin, it is obvious that the interest becomes mutual pretty quickly.

When Shin realizes this, he backs off, but he doesn't seem bitter about it. Instead, he sends a wink to his friend and declares he will fetch himself a drink.

But he never comes back.

.

.

.

She decides to break the news to them at their next group outing.

"I have something to tell you guys," she announces, once everyone had received their ramen.

Sasuke, who is sitting on her left, turns his head to look at her and raises a questioning brow, hands leaving the chopsticks in his bowl as to give her his full attention.

Naruto and Kakashi, on the other hand, simply hum in an inquiring manner, the former chowing down his noodles while the latter quietly read his orange porn novel.

Sakura frowns for a second, meeting Sasuke's eyes for the briefest moment, only to blush and quickly look down at the sight of his strongly attentive gaze. Months prior, when she was still hoping for him to return her feelings, she might have wondered if it meant something, but these days she simply brushed it off as him being a good teammate and friend—someone who cared what she had to say and who didn't want her to feel as if no one was listening.

So she ignores and clears her throat, and remembers that she had just asked for their attention and why.

She folds her hands under her chin, and beams. "I have a boyfriend," she declares.

Next thing she knows, Naruto is spitting out ramen broth and choking on his noodles, Kakashi's eyes are the widest she's ever seen them, and Sasuke is… something she can't quite pinpoint. The latter is quick to look away from her eyes when she tries to meet them, and he turns to his meal quietly, stirring the chopsticks in the soup.

Sakura is about to brush it off as him not knowing what to say, but she catches the sad, empathetic looks Naruto and Kakashi throw his way, and doesn't understand why.

.

.

.

Three months, a week and four days, that's how long it lasts. That's how long her dream world survives, before it all shatters with devastating force, after one fateful night. After she finds him in bed with another woman.

Surprisingly, as much as she likes Tadashi, it isn't the cheating that hurts her most.

It is the feeling of never being good enough, of being used, of being an easy target. It is the idea that he didn't even deem her worthy of this kind of act—that he didn't even try to move in that direction with her (not that she would have relented to him, anyway). It is that he didn't think she had it all, that he went to another woman to get what he thought she was missing.

Sakura felt… like low merchandise. Like she wasn't all that great, like all those other girls had so much more to offer than she did, like she wasn't satisfying—like she was the type of girl that didn't have what it took to make guys stay.

Tadashi made her feel so terrible about herself, that it was all she could do to punch his lights out when he ran after her and tried to apologize.

The walk home felt awfully cold that night, but she didn't cry until she got home and into her room.

.

.

.

It has barely been half an hour since the incident, and when Sakura hears soft knocking at her front door, she assumes it is Tadashi coming back for more.

"Go away!" she yells from her bedroom, voice croaky and tight from all the crying. "I don't want to see your lying, bastard, cheating face anymore!"

There is a minutely silence, before the knocking starts again, sounding persistent and angered, this time.

"I said go away!" she shouts, closing her eyes and hugging her pillow tighter. "Go away, go away, go away!" She chokes on the last word and swallows the sob trying to come out, thinking to herself that the last thing she was going to do was let this ass know she had been crying, and let him believe it had been over him.

I'm not crying for you, you jerk, her mind hisses. At least, not entirely. Her eyes start to sting, and she shakes her head, trying to ignore the now more than persistent knocking. Mostly, I'm just crying for the way you made me feel about myself. I feel like trash.

"Sakura," she hears from the other side of the door. "It's me."

Her heart stops, and just like that, the urge to cry wanes. Her arms loosen from around the pillow, and she lifts her head to look down the hallway, eyes wide in shock.

"...Sasuke?" she whispers, sitting up on the bed. She wipes her watery eyes and starts to make her way out of the bed, but then she hears a soft tap against the window of her room. Her gaze is immediately drawn to the sound, and she gasps as she sees Sasuke, standing outside her window in the pouring rain, soaked to the bone and panting, with a determined expression.

"Sakura, open up," he says, voice loud so she can hear him through both the rain and the glass.

Quickly, she scrambles off the bed and across the room, fingers working quickly on the latches before he yanks the window open and jumps into the warmth of her apartment, breathing uneven and body shivering a little.

Sakura is quick to notice.

"Kami-sama, you're freezing!" she exclaims as she touches his arm. She turns around and starts towards her bathroom, saying, "Stay right there, I'll get you a towel and some warm clo—!"

A forceful tug at her arm cuts her off, and the next thing she knows is that Sasuke is tugging her into his chest, and his free hand is cradling the side of her neck, before he swoops down and kisses her.

It is soft, gentle, as if he thinks she is too delicate to be roughly handled. Sasuke moves his lips against hers with achingly sweet precision, taking his time to memorize the curve of her mouth, enjoy the softness of her skin, the warmth of her breath. The hand on her forearm moves to touch her side, fingers stroking the area fondly, with the same tenderness he uses on her lips. He rubs the skin through her clothes in little circles, relishing the way she unconsciously shivers in response, and proceeds to slowly slip down and grip her hip gently.

Slowly, he breaks the kiss and pulls away, the hand at the base of her neck moving to grip her waist. His eyes flutter open a little, his gaze soft and tender as he looks at her and finds that hers remain shut. She is evidently dazed from his unexpected, but incredibly affectionate, gesture.

Then, her lids fly open and her mouth parts in surprise.

He doesn't give her a chance to say anything, once again, because as soon as he sees the flashes of realization, want, and love in her eyes, he feels too overwhelmed with happiness and leans down to capture her lips again. He is cupping her face with both hands, this time, and he is bolder, too, and much more intense in the way he moves and touches.

Her hands shoot up to grasp his shirt tightly, and she braces herself against his still soaking wet figure, responding to his kiss as best she could. She is a lot more timid than he is, using a rather gentle, shy approach every time she presses her lips against him, which is an odd thing when she is surely more practised than he is. Yet, he is still the one who guides her and helps her loosen up—he is still the one in charge of her movements.

The intensity of the kiss increases as he tilts his head to the side and cups her head better, one of his fingers tracing her jawline while he presses his mouth against hers in a harder and much more eagerly manner. She feels her stomach pool hotly as she feels how much he wants her, desires her, and it is enough to boost her into returning his hungry kiss with just as much force, her hands fisting the material tighter and pulling to get him closer. He groans softly in response.

A deep flush settles on her cheeks as she suddenly feels his tongue slip inside her mouth, sweeping and stroking with a kind of finesse that she knows he isn't supposed to have with his total inexperience in love, and she makes a noise of surprise. Her hands leave his shirt and her eyes open a little, but she is unprepared to see what come next. His eyes are shut tightly, his blush is fiercer, and there is a slight crease in his eyebrows that reveals just how much he has been longing for this. He looks so fervent and emotional, like he is kissing her with everything he has, with everything he feels for her, hoping and needing for her to understand what he is trying to convey.

And she does.

Shyly, her own tongue starts to caress his, and she moves to wrap her arms around his neck loosely, a mute little moan passing her lips as he begins to explore her mouth fully. It feels much better than when she had tried this with Tadashi. The latter made this kind of kiss sloppy and much too wet for her taste, but Sasuke somehow manages to make it enjoyable, sensual and sexy. It is something about the way he doesn't simply aim to brush their tongues—he is caressing and touching in the most erotic ways, making her moan and pant and causing her body to flush entirely.

She tries tricks of her own, twining and stroking in different motions, pleased with herself when she chases groans and sighs out of him. Her arms are now tight around his neck, but she doesn't seem to realize this. Wanting him closer, she moves a hand at the back of his neck and tugs strongly, while the other ventures into his soft hair. Fingers slip through the thick locks and take a handful, gripping him tight as she shoves his mouth harder against hers. Her brows furrow in deep satisfaction when he groans loudly against her lips, giving her one last, and almost punishing, kiss before he pulls away sharply and presses their foreheads together, puffing hotly against her cheek.

He is evidently in dire need of air, as she is.

His hands trail down softly, from her face, her neck, her arms, her waist, and finally to her hips. He grips her gently, giving her a tender squeeze.

"You…" she whispers, while trying to steady her disjointed breathing and recuperate her thoughts (that seem to constantly evade her right now). It is almost funny, she realizes, how this is the first time they've spoken since he first kissed her. She swallows nervously, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

"H-How long have you been feeling like this…?" she manages to ask, trembling against him as he bunches up the material at her hips and jerks her closer to him, while his mouth left light kisses down her jaw. There is a low, rumbling sound as he fits her hips snugly to his, but Sakura is more captivated by the hot blush on his cheeks.

"A while, now," he replies in a murmur, kissing her mouth tenderly, despite his growingly desiring state of mind.

"And you didn't tell me because…?"

He kisses her again, a little longer but with still with the same sentiment as the previous one. "I'm not…" he starts against her lips, eyes shut tightly and frowning deeply, before trailing off quite easily.

She understands then, by the mere look on his face.

I'm not that kind of person, he means to say. Words don't come to me as easily. I'm not as open as you are about your feelings.

She smiles, and he kisses her again at the sight of it, running a hand up her side while the other keeps her flushed against him. Sakura tries to appreciate how affectionate and loving he is being with her, but it is hard to concentrate on anything but his growing erection pressing against her intimately, and his flushed cheeks. He is so aroused and passionate about her that she can't help but to blush herself.

Heat spreads through her like wildfire as she realizes that she's the one turning him on like this, and not some other girl. That she is the one he finds so sexually attractive, that she is the one making his system run in overdrive—that she the one driving him crazy with her own body. The relief that she was not the one who wasn't good enough in her relationship with Tadashi washes over her in immense waves, and it is all she can do but to lean in and kiss Sasuke fiercely. She is thanking him, without words, trying to tell him just how much she appreciates him in the same way he tried to confess.

Oddly, he seems prepared for her gesture, almost as if he was expecting it, really, and responds the instant her mouth touches his. They hold a wordless conversation with every brush of lips, every stroke of tongue, every nip of teeth: love and apologies spoke through gentle lip brushes and wet strokes, anger and reprimand through harsh bites and forceful tongues, want and need through intense battles of the lips, teeth and tongues, and forgiveness spoke through the softest and longest kisses of all.

He is glad that she understands, just as much as he understands her. He is glad that she returns his feelings—something he was unsure about for a while now, ever since she started dating other men. He is glad to have been the most attentive in her relationship with Tadashi, or else he wouldn't have been the first to see her after her break up—he wouldn't have been able to tell it was over, the moment she walked past him that night, never recognizing him, with a stony face. He is glad to have had this opportunity.

And Sakura? She is glad, in a sense, to have lost hope.

A/N: Obviously, I don't believe Sasuke would just wait around and do nothing (though I don't think he'd be a homewrecker either) but I thought the idea was nice to explore.

And omg yay, this was such a long drabble, right?! I was so incredibly inspired for it. I loved writing it, it was a lot of fun!

Did you enjoy reading it as much? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Especially on that make-out scene. ;)

Love youuuu!

P.s. I'm so sorry about the verb confusion. I didn't know how to fix it, it just sounded weird when I did. :S

P.p.s. this was supposed to be out SO MUCH earlier, but I got fake nails and they are way too long and I basically have a really hard time with them (I'm a lot better with typing though but I'm so much slower than usual it's kinda aggravating) + I've been having interviews lately so I'm a little stressed out with those.

P.p.p.s. Let's just pretend Sasuke is amazing at kissing because he is an Uchiha and he is observant as fuck, so when he saw people kissing, he picked up on the techniques instantly (and perhaps copied them with his sharingan hohohoho) because I refuse to make him experienced with other girls. HE'S JUST SO LOYAL, YOU KNOW?!

P.p.p.p.s. (last one I swear) The make-out sesh and its emotions was entirely inspired by the drawing "Kiss me, and you will see how important I am..." by DYMx. Seriously think it's my most favorite fanart EVER. So fucking beautiful.

DeepPoeticGirl