Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen: Past Lives

Oh oh I remember now
Too far below to turn around
Too bright a light to let go now

The Kongos – Take Me Back

The Trilbrey Diner was an upstanding little place situated on a corner in the 35th District with red and white awnings displaying it's name in gold italics. The booths inside were bright and cheerful, inviting their clients to come and sit in their clean and comforting atmosphere. The place had it's charms, from the smiling waitress to the airy skylight casting natural light around the designated seating area. Maggie thought, in another world, if she had come to work in the 35th Precinct that this could have been her regular breakfast spot, she could imagine it clearly.

Another life, she thought as her eyes came to linger on the woman seated near the back of the diner, her left arm held close to her body by a flesh colored sling. The other woman was unconventionally beautiful, her sleek copper hair fell loose across her shoulders as she tilted her head down to read from the newspaper that was spread out on the table in front of her. Her skin was the color of ivory, a healthy rose pink blush softened those defined cheekbones of hers.

"Lou Ryan?" Maggie greeted, coming to stand alongside the table, her shiny police badge dangling over her white vest top from the chain around her neck.

"Maggie O'Neill, I presume." Lou responded with a warm smile before using her good hand to gesture to the vacant seat in front of her. "Tammy told me you wanted to speak to me."

"I appreciate you letting me interrupt your lunch to answer a few questions I may have." Maggie said bowing her head gracefully.

"It's not a problem." Lou said, picking up a fry off her plate and popping it into her mouth and then using her free hand to gesture to her injured arm. "It's not like I'm up to much right now so how can I help you?"

"They are about your previous partner Mike Sorenson." Maggie informed the other woman, her fingers lacing together as they came to rest upon the surface of the table.

The instant Maggie said his name, Lou's shoulders tensed. She could see the other woman's muscles tighten as she lowered her gaze to her plate of fries, exhaling deeply.

"He always has a way of coming back to bite me in the ass." Lou murmured, shaking her head.

"He seems to have that way about him." Maggie agreed knowingly. " A real scorch the earth kind of guy."

"I take it you've had some experience with him." Lou mused, placing her chin on her palm.

Maggie tilted her head from side to side ambiguously before responding with her answer.

"The usual boys club bullshit." Maggie conceded. "But my friend Kayla, he's jamming her up pretty good..."

Lou sighed out loud, the expression on her face resigned as she took the news in.

"I've met Kayla." Lou told the other woman, shaking her head in disbelief. "Back when she was with John, when Mike and him were friends."

"Were you and him..." Maggie trailed off before slotting her fingers together in a familiar gesture.

Lou nodded, her teeth biting her lower lip before she chose to speak.

"I thought he was an asshole when the two of us were first partnered up. He was brash, always saying the wrong thing. You know what it's like sitting in a car with someone day in and day out." she said glancing up at Maggie through the curtain of her copper hair. "After spending sometime with him, I realised that that was a self defense mechanism and that he was actually funny. I found him charming. One night after a few rounds at the bar, things got heated between us and that was how it started."

Lou paused, pushing her plate of fries away from her towards the edge of the table, suddenly not hungry anymore. Her fingertips traced a pattern on the surface of the table distractedly.

"Things changed after I got pregnant."

Maggie said nothing. She simply stared back at the other woman, her cobalt blue eyes wide as the information filtered through to her brain.

"I thought we could make it work somehow and he didn't." Lou said quietly. "He railroaded me into getting an abortion. He told me we weren't ready to have a child, that it would derail my whole career and what would my very Catholic father would think of me having a child out of wedlock."

Lou tilted her head away, her gaze becoming distant as she stared out the window and into the parking lot.

"He transferred out a few days after I got the abortion. I later found out that he'd put forward for a transfer after I told him I was pregnant but before I'd had the abortion. He never planned on sticking around." Lou paused for a moment before pursing her lips together grimly. "Terminating that baby was the worst thing I've ever done, even if he didn't want it..."

"You did." Maggie said softly, her hand reaching out across the table and squeezing Lou's uninjured hand. The other woman sucked in a shaky breath before nodding.

There had been so many times today that Maggie had thought that she couldn't hate Mike Sorenson anymore than she already did but his list of crimes just kept getting worse and worse as the day went on. To know that he had manipulated this woman in such a way made Maggie's blood boil. She couldn't imagine how alone Lou must have felt, that grief over the abortion was still there in the other woman's eyes, Maggie could see it.

"I had to take some time off afterwards to come to terms with what I'd done." Lou revealed in a hushed tone, grasping Maggie's fingers tightly. "I broke down and told my dad and he was livid. If he had known it was Mike, he would have ended his career. I loved him too much to let that happen to him so I never told my dad who the father was."

Something clicked in Maggie's brain as Louise spoke, something that gave her a unique insight into this whole sordid situation.

Patrol Officer Louise Ryan.

Daughter of Chief Daniel Ryan.

Mike Sorenson had been playing with fire by sleeping with the Chief's daughter, he had to have known that. She wondered if that had added to the thrill of the affair, if it had been part of the challenge for him or whether he had actually had feelings for Lou. It was clear the other woman had fallen hard for him, so much so that she had protected him from career suicide. If that didn't scream love, she didn't know what did.

"Louise." Maggie said drawing the other woman's attention towards her as an idea sparked in her brain. "I need to run something by you and I don't think your going to like it."