I finished this at 3:20am and then fell asleep so it's getting posted now.

if you've got a word let me know here or on twitter: ahoycinderella

word: 'Camera' requested by Hayley

don't you remember?
the reason you loved me before
baby, please remember me once more

.

"How is she? Can I see her?" Brian jumped up from his chair as the doctor exited his wife's hospital room, his hands shaking with nerves.

"Mr Cassidy, you're wife has suffered severe head trauma"

"But she's okay right, I mean she was awake before…"

Olivia had been on her way home from the store when she was hit from behind and knocked to the ground by some guy running from the police, she had fallen hard onto the sidewalk and hit her head on the concrete. She had been admitted to hospital a little over an hour ago only having lost consciousness for about ten minutes.

"She is awake, but I have to warn you Sir…"

"What?" Brian's eyes widened as he felt his body fail him, he tried to stand strong, and he couldn't fall now, not when his wife needed him.

"Mr Cassidy, your wife is suffering from some sort of amnesia"

Brian fell back into the chair, his hands covered his mouth "What…how?"

"She hit her head hard when she fell, any type of head trauma can cause some memory loss, and it's not entirely uncommon, some types are worse than others"

"She'll get her memory back though right? I mean, you hear about it all the time"

"Mr Cassidy, it's all a matter of time, she could remember in the next ten minutes, the next week, it all depends on her."

"How long?"

"Excuse me?"

"What does she remember? How long has she lost?" Brian cautiously asked

"We asked her some basic questions, name, birthday that kind of thing, she got them all correct until we asked her todays date."

He felt his heart sink; how far back in time did she think she was? Did she even remember him?

"She thinks it's 1999"

"Six years? She's missing almost six years?"

"It may come back…"

"Its has to come back!" Brian jumped from his chair "It has to. She doesn't remember our whole life together, we got married five years ago, are you telling me she cant remember that? What about our daughter?"

His eyes widened and his throat turned to sandpaper at the thought of their little girl at home "Our baby girl is almost five months old, we'd been trying forever to get pregnant…Olivia loves that little girl more than her own life and you're telling me she doesn't remember her?"

"Sir you have to understand, she may remember" The doctor stood beside Brian and placed his hand on his shaking arm. "This is a process, you could walk in there and start talking to her and things may fall into place or it could take a while but her memories may come back little by little, you just have to give it time"

"Can I see her?" He asked, his voice quiet in the loud, bustling waiting area

"Of course, take all the time you need"

.

"Here, let me grab that" Brian helped his wife from their car and grabbed her hospital bag. It had been four days since she had been admitted and today she was discharged with a clean bill of health, apart from the fact she couldn't remember the last five years of her life.

"It's okay, I've got it" She pulled her hand back, still unsure of how to act around Brian. She glanced into the backseat and saw the empty car seat strapped in tight, her heart tugged and she felt sick to her stomach, she had a child and she couldn't even remember.

All she could remember of Brian was they worked together, it turned out she remembers their one night stand. She had been shocked when he walked cautiously into her hospital room for the first time, his eyes clouded over as he sat beside her bed and asked her how she was feeling.

"What are you doing here Cassidy?" She smiled "Cragen send you to check up on me or something?" She tried to joke

She had seen his heart die in his eyes, he rest his hands on the edge of her bed and quickly removed them and kept them firmly in his lap, not wanting to push the boundaries, especially if she didn't even remember they were in a relationship.

"You look different" She titled her head a little and took in his appearance, his body was bigger, he clearly hit the gym a lot more than she remembered and the stubble on his face made him look more masculine.

"I am different" He sadly smiled

"The doctor said I've got memory loss" She remarked quietly

"Yeah, you do" Brian nodded and struggled to keep himself from holding her hand.

"What have I forgotten?" He saw the tears fill her eyes, he couldn't bear to tell her they were married and had a beautiful little baby at home, a little girl who looked exactly like her mother and as of last week had just laughed for the first time.

Brian looked at the floor; he felt his own tears stab at his hazel eyes, he struggled with the thought that his own wife didn't remember him. Back in '99 she thought of him as nothing more than the guy she worked with who had a huge crush on her. In the back of her mind she knew he loved her but she thought of it as a crush to make herself feel less guilty about turning him down. Now they were completely head over heels in love, married with a baby and she didn't even remember.

"Please tell me," She whispered, "I can't stand not knowing"

"You really don't remember anything?" He questioned sadly

"I'm sorry. I mean I remember…you know" She gestured between them, silently reminiscing their drunken one-night stand.

"And that's it?"

She nodded "Was there more?"

Brian sadly chuckled and twirled his wedding band around his ring finger "July 2nd 2000, we'd been together for about a year already, it was a crazy hot day and you had said you'd never really done anything for 4th of July so we decided to get away for a couple of days. We went up to my dad's old beach house for the weekend; we both escaped work early on the Thursday and just took off. You spent hours in the sea; you wear wearing this white string bikini that you joked you had bought just for me"

He smiled at the memory of her walking out of the bathroom and teasingly walking straight past him and out the back porch that led straight to the beach "We hit the beach on the Friday morning and spent the entire day just lazing around in the sun, it was so peaceful. You snuck off into the sea and just lay around in the water for hours, you said you'd never felt more at peace than when you were in the water"

"Brian…"

"I proposed to you that night" He grinned "I never thought in a million years you'd say yes. It took you long enough to agree to a date with me that even after a year I was still convinced you were just with me out of pity."

"I cooked you dinner and we sat out on the porch for hours, just being there you know? There was no noise like back in the city, just the ocean and it was perfect. I took you down to the water because I knew you loved it so much and it was already dark so we could barely see anything but I still got down on one knee in the sea and you laughed when I fell over on my ass" He chuckled "You cried when I asked you and when you said yes and then you fell down into the water with me"

"It sounds perfect" Olivia smiled and brushed the tears from her face

"It was" He finally looked up at her "You really don't remember?"

.

She'd never forget the look on his face after he said that. He looked like part of him had died and she'd never forgive herself for that.

They stood in an awkward silence in the elevator as they rode up to their seventh floor apartment that overlooked the city. Olivia kept looking around at everything she seen, hoping that all her memories would hit her at once and everything would go back to normal but it never came. She silently followed Brian as they left the elevator and walked towards their front door.

He pushed it open and held it for her until she stepped inside the beautifully decorated apartment.

"You decorated" He laughed as he placed the bags of groceries he had bought before picking her up on the kitchen counter. "All I really cared about was where we were gonna put the big TV"

He gazed at her as she stood awkwardly in the middle of their living room. He watched sadly as she fought with herself to try and remember even the tiniest little detail of their life together.

"When did we get married?" She asked, looking at her own empty ring finger, the nurses had removed all her jewellery when she was admitted.

"April 14th 2001, the weather forecast had said rain the entire week and you were so upset. You told me you had always wanted a spring wedding, in the sunshine…" He smiled at her

"It didn't rain, we were lucky and it was a beautiful day. You looked amazing, you said you felt like a princess in your dress and you never wanted to take it off. It's still hanging in our closet at home," He laughed when she let out a quiet chuckle despite the tears.

"It rained in the evening though, we were leaving the reception and it was raining and you told me that we had to go kiss in the middle of the street in the pouring rain like they do in the movies"

"I'm so sorry I don't remember" Olivia broke and sobbed into her hands "Everything is just like this dark mass of nothing and I can't remember anything"

"It's okay" Brian gently touched her leg, unsure if he should pull her into her arms and kiss her head and promise her everything would be okay just like he wanted to.

"I want to remember, I really do"

"I know you do, it's okay, you will remember. It just takes time" Brian repeated the doctors' words to his wife.

.

"You hungry? I could make us some lunch?" Brian asked as he began putting away the groceries

Olivia still stood in the middle of the living room, her eyes tracing every single little detail of the room, the large expanse of space that faded into a joint kitchen, the one wall that was practically just a giant window that over-looked Manhattan, the large plush sofa in the middle of the room and the two large armchairs at either end of the coffee table that all faced their big-screen TV on the back wall that was painted a dark red colour, while the rest of the walls were painted cream. It looked so warm and inviting.

"Liv, you can sit down" He smiled

"It doesn't feel like home" Her words tore him to the floor and she saw it, the light faded from his eyes "I'm sorry" She quickly replied "I didn't mean…I just, I don't recognise anything, it's like something out of a magazine and I don't remember ever really caring about interior decorating" She chuckled.

"Yeah you went through a phase," He explained with a smile "You took one room at a time, this place was a fresh start for us and you wanted every room to have its own special touch"

Her eyes faded to the hallway past the kitchen that led to the bedrooms and her heart began to race.

"She's not here" Brian said quietly "I asked my mom to keep her for the night, I didn't want you to be too over-whelmed when you came home"

Olivia nodded and walked out of the living room and down the small hallway, her eyes shifting from the two doors on either side. She opened the first one and smiled at the royal blue walls. This must have been the bedroom she shared with Brian. The dark blue contrasted with the white bed sheets and the pale wood sleigh frame bed, there was a beautiful romance to the room and it made her smile.

She walked over to the large dresser against the wall and smiled at the photos pinned around the mirror, one of them of her and Brian, he stood behind her with his arms over her shoulders as he pulled a stupid face, her own face was glowing as she laughed out loud and whoever snapped the picture caught the perfect shot.

She picked up the frame on the edge of the dresser, one of their wedding photos. Brian was right, she did look like a princess, her hair was pinned up, a few stray curls around her face, and her white strapless dress clung to her figure and flowed neatly to the ground from her hips. The smile on their faces were electric as they stood with their arms around each other.

Olivia left the room and stood outside the closed door of the bedroom opposite for a good five minutes, her heart stuck in her throat as she touched the door handle, she slowly pushed the door open and felt the tears fill her eyes. The walls were painted a beautiful shade of pastel pink with the wall opposite the door a darker shade. The dark cherry wood crib stuck out from the middle of the dark pink wall, the matching chest of drawers and changing table were against the wall behind the door. She stood in the middle of the room for a few seconds taking everything in before moving over to the rocking chair by the window. She picked up the pink and white blanket that lay over the back and sat down, the sweet baby scent filtered through the room and she burst into tears once more.

"Liv, I need to tell you this okay but please don't worry because I promise you'll remember"

"What are you talking about?"

Brian reached into his wallet and pulled out a photo and handed it gently to her "Her name is Allie. She was born December 9th last year"

"We have a baby?" Olivia cried as she held the photo. She saw herself holding a tiny little baby girl in a pink sleeper suit; she couldn't have been more than a few weeks old.

"We tried for a good four years for her, we started looking into adoption because we never thought we'd have our own baby after trying for so long but then she came along." Brian grinned

"You told me on father's day" He chuckled "We both had the weekend off and decided on a lazy weekend in the house, I got up to make you breakfast and you'd written the father's day card the night before and left it by the coffee machine. You wrote

'To Daddy, happy father's day, see you in December' and put the sonogram picture on the inside. I think the only other times I cried was on our wedding day and when she was born"

"She's beautiful." Olivia ran her finger softly over the slightly creased picture

"She's four months old now and growing like a weed" He smiled "She looks exactly like you, she got your dark hair and skin tone, she just started laughing last week and when she does her eyes light up just like yours, it's fascinating"

"Allie…"

"Yeah, Allie Katherine Cassidy. You got mad at the woman who was filling out the birth certificate because she kept asking what Allie was short for"

"Just Allie" She smiled

"Yeah, just Allie" Brian grinned as she quietly repeated the exact same words she had said almost five months ago.

.

Brian walked into the apartment to the sound of his screaming daughter; he quickly dumped the bag of groceries and ran to his little girl's nursery. It had been a two weeks since Olivia had come home and things were still awkward but he thought they were getting a little better, her memory still hadn't made any sign of returning and she was still overly cautious when it came to being around Allie, never wanting to feed her or change her, hell it was a chore just getting her to hold her sometimes.

"Hey, hey Allie-Kat it's okay" Brian carefully lifted their screaming daughter from her crib and grabbed the soft blanket that lay over the edge "It's okay sweetheart, it's okay, Daddy's here" He gently bounced his little girl and made his way into the kitchen to prepare a bottle.

He had only left half an hour ago and promised Liv he wouldn't be long, the baby was sleeping but would probably wake to be fed. They had quickly weaned Allie onto bottles even though at the time of her accident Olivia was still very intent on breastfeeding for as long as possible.

He moved to the armchair in the living room and quickly put the bottle into the baby's mouth, instantly silencing her hungry cries.

"Is she okay?" Olivia stood timidly bedside the fridge

"Yeah, she was just hungry" He replied, trying not to be angry but he couldn't help it, she barely even acknowledged him or their daughter these days.

"How long was she crying?" He asked, turning his gaze away for his little girl to his face his wife

"I don't know"

"You don't…Liv…"

"Please don't you dare get angry with me" The fire in her eyes burned as she gained some confidence.

"Liv, she's your daughter and you don't even want to know her"

"She is not my daughter" Olivia growled, "This is not my house, you are not my husband and she as much as I want her to be, she doesn't feel like my child. None of this is real to me. I don't remember any of this. I've seen the pictures and it just doesn't feel real. I want my life back, I want to be able to hold my baby and feed her and play with her, I want her to laugh for me but she just doesn't, she doesn't even know who I am." The tears fell from her eyes as she stood towards them

"I want to feel normal again. I want to sleep beside my husband, I want to kiss you goodnight and wake up in your arms every morning and make love to you whenever I want and cuddle on the couch and drink wine and talk about our days like normal couples do but I can't. I just can't do this anymore Brian"

The silence in the apartment was deafening, only sound heard was the quiet suckles of their baby girl as she sucked hungrily on her bottle.

.

Try to remember us.
Even if you can't, we still love you.

A & B XXX

Olivia lifted the post-it note from the camera that sat on top of a dark brown leather box that was roughly the size of a shoebox that sat on the middle of the kitchen counter. Brian had left almost three hours ago with the baby; they had gone to stay at his mom's for a few nights to give Olivia some space by herself.

She lifted the lid of the box and found a bunch of discs, DVD's she guessed as she pulled the plastic cases from the box and read each of the labels, none of them had specific events on them, just dates.

She lifted the box and moved to sit on the couch; she placed the first disc into the DVD player and smiled when she saw the beach appear on the screen.

She sat in the darkness of the apartment and smiled through her tears as images of her and Brian flashed across the screen both of them laughing and smiling and making out like teenagers on the beach. After watching three more discs of their wedding, random lazy days at home, sonograms and Allie's birth she changed the current disc and didn't even read the date of the next one; it was filmed the week before her accident.

"Hi angel" Olivia grinned at her baby girl who she had just picked up from her crib, she laughed as Allie turned her attention to her daddy who was pointing the video camera in her face "Just ignore Daddy sweetheart, he's just being silly"

Olivia sat on the couch and wiped her eyes that were already streaming with tears at the sight of her holding her happy baby girl. She listened intently to the random conversation she and her husband were having as he casually filmed their morning routine.

"Where's Allie?" Olivia held the dishcloth in front of her daughter's face and began to play peekaboo "There she is!"

"Hey Allie-Kat, where did Mama go?" Brian asked from behind the camera as Allie squealed and grinned as she kicked her little legs in her highchair.

Seconds later Allie let out the cutest little baby laugh that halted both Brian and Olivia in their tracks.

"Please tell me you got that on camera" Olivia stared wide-eyed at her baby girl

"Yeah I did"

They both stood in silence for a few seconds before Allie squealed again and held her little hands out towards her mother. Olivia picked up their little girl pressed a series of kisses to her little cheeks.

"I love you so much little one," She laughed as Allie gripped the front of her shirt and laughed at her daddy who was pulling funny faces at her from behind the camera.

.

"Bri?"

"Liv? It's three am, are you okay?" She smiled as his sleep filled voice filtered through the phone

"Tell me a story, please"

"Liv what happened?" Brian sat up in bed and carefully leaned over to check on their daughter who was sound asleep in her travel crib

"I watched the discs, I've been going through our wedding album for the last two hours and I just want to remember. I used to be so happy, we used to be so happy" She cried as she lay down on her husband's side of the empty bed, pulling the covers up over her head.

"Babe it'll get better, I promise"

"I'm sorry I can't remember," She whispered down the phone

"Don't be, it isn't your fault and please don't blame yourself. I'm sorry I got angry before"

"I'm sorry I said what I said earlier" She quietly apologised "I'm glad you're my husband" She smiled "From what I've seen on the discs you're a pretty amazing one"

"Well, a pretty amazing wife deserves a pretty amazing husband, I do try my best" He chuckled

"I didn't mean what I said about Allie either, she is my daughter, you are my husband and I know I love you both but I just…"

"Liv, babe, it's okay." Brian interrupted, "I promise you everything is going to get better, even if you don't remember, we have the tapes and Allie is young enough that we can start over, she still knows who you are"

"But I've lost our whole relationship Brian. We've been together for all this time and I can't remember any of it"

"We can start over with that as well, I promise you it'll all work out, just please don't stress out over it, that'll only make it worse"

They lay in separate beds, phones pressed to their ears in silence, listening to each other's breathing for a few minutes.

"Want me to tell you how you gave a me a heart attack almost everyday for the last month of the pregnancy?"

Olivia laughed through her tears as Brian began describing all the different times she had faked labour and told him about how she wanted to change the nursery so many times it made his head spin. He told her about their first proper date and the day she met his family for the first time and how his brother kept trying to flirt with her.

Brian whispered I love you as he heard the soft sound of her breathing through the phone indicating she had finally fallen asleep.

.

"Hi"

"Hey" Brian gently placed the car seat on the armchair and dumped the dark gym bag on the floor. He picked Allie out of her car seat and fell back onto the couch and lifted their little girl above his head.

Olivia watched as her husband played with their daughter, a permanent smile plastered on both of their faces. She glanced over at the car seat and noticed her one of her over-sized shirts inside.

"It smells like you" Brian explained "She misses her Mama, it smells like you and it calms her down when she's upset because it's like you're there with her"

She smiled through her tears like she had done so often since she had been home. She smiled at Allie who sat facing her on her father's lap, Allie reached her little hand out for her Mommy and Olivia immediately tensed up.

"It's okay, you don't have to hold her if you don't want to. Just sit there and get used to being around her again"

"I want to hold her" Olivia whispered, "I miss my baby girl" She smiled "I don't even remember anything about her but I miss her"

"Well…" Brian moved closer and sat right next to his wife, turning Allie to face him, her tiny little feet pressing against his stomach as he held her upright "She sleeps in complete darkness, like her mother. She loves playing peekaboo and flying, she likes her bottle at eight, eleven, two and five and then another half one before she goes to sleep. She's still kinda weary about actual baby food so it's been a slow process trying to get her onto that. If she wakes up in the night it usually because she needs changed or just wants a cuddle, her pink and white striped blanket is her favourite, she loves to lie on her tummy and when she's cranky she likes to lie on your chest so she can hear your heartbeat, it lulls her off to sleep, it takes a while but it works and she really loves music, she loves when either of us sing to her."

Olivia smiled and gently ran her fingers through her baby's soft dark hair and leaned forward kissed her head. Allie reached up and grabbed her mother's necklace and held on tight. She gently pried the gold chain away from her daughter's little fingers and held onto both of her baby hands.

"I'll always love you, Allie." She whispered and kissed her warm forehead.

"I think I remember something but I don't know if it's true or not" She said quietly as she smiled at her daughter.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you play guitar" She smiled when Brian grinned at her "You used to sing and play to my bump when Allie was still in me"

"I did"

"So that is real? I didn't just imagine it?"

"No you didn't" Brian kissed her cheek softly "The guitar is under the bed" He smiled.

They both sat and quietly played with their daughter, who still sat in her father's lap. Olivia let go of one of Allie's hands and reached over to the coffee table, grabbing the video camera that still sat among a pile of discs.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked with a smile as she turned the camera on him and Allie.

"Making a memory"

.

any thoughts?

lyrics: Don't You Remember - Adele