Wednesday wasn't being such a bad day as Kurt initially imagined it would be. It had started pretty good actually, with Carole preparing his favorite breakfast in the morning, it had been announced a new season of Fashion Runway, his first two teachers had been absent from class because of an improvised teacher meeting and Mr. Shue had finally abandoned the idea of making them explore new musical styles for sectionals. The country was not really Kurt's favorite kind of music.
That counteracting Rachel going crazy over the election, suddenly too worried about his victory for some reason that Kurt still didn't understand compared to her attitude in previous weeks, Britanny crushing him in the surveys, Jacob Ben Israel being a pain in the ass, the Troubletones being still The biggest threat for New Directions and Santana's sexuality crisis wasn't so bad.
Kurt sighs as he watches the scattered notes on the sheet of paper in his hands. The elections were so close that he couldn't think of anything other than that, not even the selection of the song for his NYADA audition had succeeded in keeping his mind away from that. Next week he would finally know the end of this story and he'd have to recover from his imminent loss. He shouldn't even feel so bad when he already knows how everything will end up, it'd be easier to just throw in the towel, remarkably less humiliating, but he doesn't want to show weakness either by retiring, accepting what a loser he knows he is.
"So, you're gonna sit there lamenting all day or are you going to sing the damn song?"
Kurt looked up at his computer. Well, there was one thing that was always effective to distract him.
"Would you stop being a jerk?" Kurt admonished. Sebastian rolled his eyes. The image on the screen of Kurt's computer staggered, so he knew Sebastian was moving around his room in Dalton. "Seriously, am I not allowed to feel bad for myself?"
"Sure! Right after you lose, how about that?"
Kurt grimaced. Sebastian was the most insensitive person he'd ever known. Still, Kurt didn't understand why right now he preferred his company than that of any of his friends. Maybe it was because now things were too tense between the glee club, divided with the constants fights over the solos and everyone being too competitive for his liking, including Kurt himself. Or maybe it was just because Sebastian's opinion was probably the most honest one he could find. In addition, he killed two birds with one stone. Constant communication with Sebastian was necessary at this period of his sickness and although Sebastian had been doing well today, or well... Better, at least, it was important not to neglect it, no matter how many things he had in his head.
Sebastian rushed him again, and although it annoyed him, Kurt compiled.
As he started singing the chorus of 'The way we were' he could feel Sebastian's gaze fixed on him even though he was only looking at him through a computer camera. He was too aware that it was the first time the other boy heard him sing and he may have gone a little out of tune for a second in his distraction by this fact. He almost turned red, he didn't go out of tune. Never. The first impression was very important in this kind of thing. He solved it immediately, returning to the song with his voice perfectly in tune with the melody he has permanently recorded in his head. Sebastian had his lips pressed tight, his expression didn't show much and it made Kurt nervous. He stopped, suddenly, when Sebastian looked away and scratched the back of his head, before crossing his arms strangely.
"I… Is something wrong?" He asked. Sebastian didn't look at him. "Is… don't you like it? I-Do I sound bad?"
Sebastian shook his head and looked up, just a little. Sebastian looked uncomfortable. "No, you sing it... fine."
It took a moment for Kurt to realize the reason why Sebastian looked so uncomfortable. If Sebastian did, in fact, like it, of course he'd be more awkward about it than otherwise. Then Kurt smiled. Just a little smile, not wanting to boast that much about something with what Sebastian was obviously dealing with.
"Only fine?" He teased, trying to put a serious face but failing. He doesn't think it matters too much, Sebastian was still staring at his own computer keyboard.
He grabbed a notebook from somewhere on his left and stared at it. "I just wonder if you… are nostalgic?"
Kurt looked at him. "About what?"
"It's a pretty nostalgic song so," he tried to explain, even though Kurt wasn't getting the idea.
"Oh… another song, then?"
"I-ah… well, I am no judge, nor dean of an academy of arts I suppose but... "
"I wanted to sing 'Don't ride on my parade' but that's kind of Rachel's song…"
"And?" Sebastian asked, shrugging his shoulders. At least he looked a little less tense now.
"It's a rule. I don't know where it come's from but that's the way it is." He said. "What about 'Memory' from Cats?"
"Has everything have to come from a musical?"
"They're classics," Sebastian sighed, as if it cost him a great work to try to understand his way of thinking. "Whatever. Sing anything you want. I'm sure you'll be accepted anyway,"
Kurt opened his eyes, really wide. That was like, very sweet. "Really?"
"Of course." Sebastian smiled. "A school full of broadway freaks? You'll become their leader."
Kurt covered his face with his hands and moaned. He must have seen it coming.
A long time passed as they discussed songs, Sebastian insisting on some Queen song even though Kurt told him several times that they weren't the kind of songs that fit his voice until Kurt caught the internal joke and banged his head against the computer keyboard.
He got Sebastian's ruthless laughter for his innocence for more than ten minutes without a break until Kurt made a joke on his huge horse's teeth, which shut the sub's mouth almost immediately. Honestly, Sebastian was a kid.
Right after Kurt tried to convince him to watch a couple of videos about d/s culture but he refused. He didn't understand how it was possible for a sub on sickness to so firmly reject a command for a dom, but he didn't question it. He supposed he's had a lot of practice, even if it was the first time he got his sickness surely there had been doms before giving him orders then and now, and he would never have managed to pass as a dom if he complied with every request. Either way, he didn't think it was the best for him right now.
"Why is it so important to you?" Sebastian asked, his head leaning on his fist. "I thought we were doing all this thing about communication for me to be fine so what does it matter if you don't give me orders?"
"What sub doesn't like orders on his sickness?" Kurt asks in return, a grimace of disbelief on his face but a touch of fun filling his eyes.
Sebastian apparently caught it because his jokes didn't take long to come.
"We're a rare kind but you'll find we're smarter and sexier than the rest,"
Kurt scoffed. "Well, at least do your homework, smartass. It's getting late and I don't want you to ignore your duties for talking to me. "
"It's not like I can't do it later. It'd be difficult anyway, with those screams outside." Sebastian said, making a show of covering his ears. Now that he mentioned it Kurt did hear something through the computer, though he couldn't really distinguish anything but sharp,
confused sounds.
"What is that?" Kurt snooped.
"Only my least favorites love birds. Probably fighting about who love each other more or some shit." Sebastian mocked, and then frowned when the sound of something breaking sounded on the wall behind him.
"Nick and Jeff, I'll assume." Kurt smiled slightly as he leaned on the head of his bed.
A cleft formed between Sebastian's eyebrows. "I always forgot you know them,"
Kurt shrugged. "Not so much, though." Another shout echoed in the room. "Sounds serious," he said.
"Nah, they'll be having makeup sex in twenty minutes. That's when my suffering really begins."
Kurt struggles not to giggle at Sebastian's exasperated attitude.
"What is that that has you in such a bad mood, that is, more than usual," Kurt asked. He has nothing better to do anyway, and since Sebastian doesn't seem inclined to leave him to do his homework, it won't hurt him to hear.
"No one," Kurt narrowed his eyes. Too late Sebastian realized his mistake. "I mean, nothing," He tried to correct, but the dom raised a suspicious eyebrow. Finally, he had to surrender. "Just that idiot, the one I told you that won't leave me in peace because I didn't want to go out with him,"
Kurt nods, just to let him know he remembers. "What about him?"
"Now he's committed to stealing my solos. "
One of Kurt's eyes wrinkled in a grimace "Is he new? What's his name?"
"What does it matter?" Sebastian said with a roll of his eyes but at Kurt's insistent gaze he replied. "I... Harwood."
"Thad?" Kurt frowned skeptically. "He's a nice guy, I can't believe he's like that…"
"Oh, great" Sebastian grumbled. "You know the fucker? Not only that, you're defending him?" Sebastian asked angrily.
"Hey, come on, I'm just talking about my experience, he was very kind to me when I was here..."
"He's not kind to me. In fact, he's doing everything he can to ruin my life."
Kurt wanted to laugh again. And he was the drama queen. "What happened?"
"He spoke to the Warblers about me. I've been… a little absent, since my sickness came around. I tried to convince the council to give me another chance, to show that I'm competent for the job, but that bitch had already brainwashed them,"
"Oh, sorry."
"Yeah. So I'm still the captain of the team but officially one of my solos for the regionals has been snatched from me and I'll do nothing but do those stupid choruses the background," Sebastian complained, crossing his arms stubbornly against his chest.
He tries not to be offended because after all that is everything he does in New Directions, but he's sure Sebastian is used to different things, he doesn't want to know what Rachel's reaction would be if her precious solos were taken from her.
"Maybe it's not completely a bad thing, I'm sure some of the other Dalton guys might use a solo once in a while,"
Sebastian began to shake his head before Kurt had finished his sentence.
"No Kurt, you don't get it. Everyone thinks I don't give a shit about anything, but I do care, I care too much for a stupid choir contest, it's not just for being a vain idiot. It's about being good at something, you know? I've always liked to perform, but... it's more than that, it's the only thing in which I get any validation, well besides sex I mean," Kurt's stomach moved with disgust, his cheeks becoming just a little warm, hopefully not visible through the barely decent resolution of his camera.
He tried to sound as calm as he could. Yeah, I understand, not the sex part but yeah I think I do. I don't like being a disappointment either. But I'm sure you have way more talents than just perform and… sex."
Sebastian looked away.
"Of course I do. But it's not the same."
"You like sports don't you?"
"Yeah I guess but it's not like music, I'm not good enough, like in every other thing."
"But Sebastian, you are… smart and gorgeous, and, you have so much future, don't feel bad for this, you'll get over it eventually,"
The sub was silent for a moment, Kurt even came to think that his computer had frozen until he heard Sebastian's voice again, small and suspicious, and perhaps only a little hopeful. "You really think I'm gorgeous?"
Kurt smiled but couldn't keep himself from rolling his eyes, "Yeah I do, even if you're a little too arrogant and self-absorbed,"
He grinned crookedly.
"What can I do? I'm just so hot,"
"Silly. You're gonna find someone a lot of people in your life who loves you for exactly who you are, even if you don't get every single solo."
Still without letting the smile go Sebastian shook his head. "I don't think so, I'm so fucked up, dude. Who'd have the balls top put up with me? Besides, who says I want any of them?"
It didn't feel exactly good to smile at that, but Kurt didn't let it show. "You're pretty fine the way you are," he assured him. Sebastian smiled a little wider, more genuine, Kurt thought. "Look at me, praising you when you do nothing but annoy me because of my face." Kurt teased, hoping that Sebastian would continue the game now that he looked slightly less upset about the solo issue. Instead, Sebastian just stared at the screen, the corners of his lips bent into a smirk.
"I never said it wasn't gorgeous." He said.
And oh. He didn't expect that. At all.
"Thanks." It was the only thing he could make himself say. He felt embarrassed suddenly, but not for long because Sebastian changed the subject next second.
"Also... I like lacrosse, I'm not like, very good or anything, but, yeah, I like it."
Kurt nodded. "Well, that's great, lacrosse, you should try it. I don't know much about, actually any sport but I'm sure it must be fun,"
"Yeah, it's fun, although when I played with the other boys in fourth grade they always beat me up, figuratively speaking, of course. "
"You don't always have to be the best, you know." Kurt murmured as if it were a secret.
"Yes, yes I have." He sub argued.
"Why don't you just have fun, huh?"
"It's fun to be the best."
Kurt giggled. "Right, why don't you try to play a little bit? maybe it'll help you feel less stressed."
"Maybe."
"In the meantime, your homework is waiting for you."
Sebastian made a face. "Fine, but I will not be happy about it."
"As always." Kurt smiled as he rolled his eyes, watching Sebastian move away from the screen to go for his books. Well, it was progress.
...
For Sebastian... communication was overrated. Not that he thought it was totally useless but he'd never before had the urge to go to someone else to solve his problems. Since he has memory he's never been able to count on anyone but himself. One of his earliest memories was playing in a sandbox in a park near the house where they used to live before coming to Ohio, one of his neighbors, a fat, ugly and nasty boy would throw sand on his clothes every time they ran into each other in the park, he would laugh at him and take his toys away; Sebastian never cried like any other three-year-old would do, one day he simply got tired and threw himself at the other boy, pushing him out of the sandbox and biting his arm so hard it bled.
It was a strange thing to be proud of something like that, but this memory has never caused him anything but a smile, despite the punishment that he had to face later for that. Then came elementary school. Boy, if Sebastian had been a problem boy all his life. His childhood was made up of whiners of weak kids and visits to the director's office. Things didn't improve when his sexuality became obvious to him as well as to everyone else. If Sebastian had known what it was to be gay since he was a baby, it wouldn't have taken him 10 years to figure it out. For whom it had really been a surprise was for its parents. Apparently, it hadn't been easy to assimilate that his only son, who was also an insubordinate submissive, something already particularly unusual and difficult, was also gay.
Sebastian never cared what anyone thought of him, and if he did, he pretended not, he wasn't going to change for anything, nor anyone.
And if his parents had work during his childhood in a short time they hardly had time to look at him, dependence wasn't an option. Sometimes the only contact he had all day with them was a ten-minute call at lunchtime. The nanas didn't resist long with him, they'd flee after a few weeks and they'd have to hire a new one. The summers were... just the worst that could happen to him, time with his father's family was hell itself. His pranks finally got him out of that horrible tradition and it was only a matter of time before his parents sent him to a boarding school in France, then he was lucky if he got a call a week.
So it's not easy for him to maintain communication, even more be the one who initiates it. Sometimes he just doesn't know what to say, or his bad temper forces him to say nonsense, he knows that if Kurt had another type of character he'd be on his own, probably forced to go to a clinic as soon as anyone noticed his condition. That is why he makes an effort, even if it's not his forte. Talking about his problems stuns him more than what it calms him. He feels physically tired, all this for the sickness and the sectionals, his position in the Warblers, his grades and the insistent calls of his parents asking for explanations make him more and more nervous.
That is the reason why when Kurt had proposed this idea the day before he'd made a mess in his head thinking about whether or not it would be a good idea. In his mind, at that moment it had only been one thing; Kurt. Hours and hours of Kurt's voice, Kurt's laugh, Kurt's ways to say his name as a reprimand when one of his jokes crosses the limit of his patience, a lot of time invested in it, from dawn to dusk, just talking with Kurt. He writhes at the thought that, instead of frightening him, that idea hadn't sounded so bad. His pride told him it was stupid but a small ball of excitement in his stomach wouldn't let him ignore it. And he just gave in.
It scares him. He doesn't want to feel any of that. He knows that most likely he is only associating Kurt's presence with the sexual, physical and mental relief that his meetings brought him. It had to be a psychological thing or a shit like that. He knows what will happen, as soon as he feels better and thinks more lucidly he won't even remember any of this.
In the meanwhile, he'll need something to unburden. He's been thinking a lot about it, and he finally made the decision. Sebastian can only hope it doesn't become another problem.
"Hey, Sebby," A voice too sweetly nauseating said from behind. He barely managed to turn his head slightly to see Nick and Jeff, the owner of the annoying voice, step by his side; hands wrapped together and idiotic smiles stuck on their faces. "Coming to class?"
Sebastian sighed. Those two were the worst.
...
"You okay white boy? You've been acting weird lately," Kurt blinks at his friend as both walk through McKinley's halls way to their Math class. Mercedes have been looking in his direction for about ten minutes straight, Kurt pretends he has not noticed in order to pretend and not be led to uncomfortable questions. It doesn't work very well, apparently.
"No, I just… I have this new obsession with the next line of Marc Jacobs and I can´t stop thinking about it." He excused himself. It wasn't a total lie, actually that line was incredibly beautiful, although Kurt knew it was too expensive for him, anyway.
"Are you sure? No offense but you look like Rachel when a competition is close,"
"How is that no offensive?" he asked, wincing and raising his hand to look at the screen of his phone for the sixteenth time in the last hour. "Ugh, I guess I'm only overthinking things,"
"What are you overthinking?" Kurt refused to look at Mercedes as he put his phone in the pocket of his gray Armani pants. No, she certainly wasn't ready for that conversation. It should be noted, neither was Kurt.
"My audition for NYADA, the candidacies for president, I don't even know if it's a good idea to continue with the campaign. I have a lot in my head and anyway, everyone knows I can't beat Britanny, so what's the point?" He said harshly, he had so much on his plate as to have to face the inevitable depression of the loss to which his candidacy was destined.
"Ohh, don't be like that. I think you have good chances, all your friends are going to vote for you, I'm even sure you have Blaine's vote assured," Mercedes said in a sweet, suggestive voice that Kurt wasn't comfortable with.
"Yes, out of pity and guilt for breaking my heart, the best kind of vote," He mocked and jumped when he felt at Mercedes hitting him on the shoulder with her books.
"Come on! Blaine wants you both to be friends again, everybody knows that, maybe he'd want to come back together with the time."
"I don't want to sit in a chair waiting for his feelings for me to change suddenly. Tt's not who I am Mercedes." Kurt doesn't bother to look at the compassion in her friend's face. Instead he fixes his eyes on the huge poster of Britanny's campaign that has covered the one with his photo that used to be there a couple days ago.
"Well, how about someone else?" Suggested the girl as she took Kurt's arm to pull him away from that place. "We can get you a cute suboy with-"
"Low expectations" Kurt finished bitterly. Mercedes seemed to want to hit him seriously this time. "Who Mercedes? Please, there are no gay guys in Lima, let alone ones who like me."
"Oh Kurt, you're smart and funny and cute, of course someone is gonna like you,"
"Let´s be real, the truth is that nobody wants the cute, smart, funny guy, everyone wants the hot, popular one, and gay sub guys? they want a hot super dominant one with the muscles of the size of their heads," Kurt could say that he spoke from experience, of course he knew he wasn't ugly, all those years taking care of his skin hadn't been in vain but in Mercedes's own words he was just cute, cute in the way the first girlfriend of a twelve year old dom is, not in the way a desperate sub would dream in the nights when he has spent so much time without coming that—
He shook his head. Hormones in motion.
"Not everyone is like that," The girl to his left continued, by then Kurt thought that they were already done with the conversation, now he was a little more worried about another subject. "What about Karofsky? He still looks at you as if you're hanging the sky and stars for him, and since— Well, since happened what happened he hasn't done anything against you or any of us, why don't you give him a chance? the boy just sighs more and more. "
"Not my type," Mercedes looked at him with an arched eyebrow and he rolled his eyes at once. "Look, to be honest, deep down I know Dave's a good kid, and he's not bad'looking, but I don't think a boyfriend is what he needs right now, he has to come to terms with himself first. Plus I already told you, I do not want to be the disconsolate guy waiting for someone to deign to look at him. I'm not that needy. "
"Okay, fine." Mercedes agreed, both of them stopping their steps as they arrived at the classroom of their next class. "But if you're not going to get yourself a boy you should at least go out with me and the girls, or just with me if you prefer. I haven't seen you on a weekend for ages."
"I've been busy," he said. He doesn't tell Mercedes who he's been busy with, of course, because that was part of the deal and if Kurt is going to do this, he'll do it right, which reminds him...
He seeks into his pocket again, the phone tells him that only three minutes have passed since he last checked. There is still no messages.
...
The minutes pass and pass and Kurt has no sign of life whatsoever from Sebastian. He has a feeling similar to irritation, but he tries not to get carried away much by it, it's not that they have some schedule, and yet he feels like he is being deliberately disobeyed by the lack of contact. Maybe it's just the sub's way of demonstrating to himself that he could obey and disobey the dom's commands at will, just as he constantly challenges him in his text messages, video chats and more or less every single time they see each other. Anyway, he let Sebastian make any statement he wanted to do. There were three hours until his phone vibrated again, and for some reason, Kurt breathed a sigh of relief.
He took out the device as fast as his hands allowed, ignoring the curious glances of his friends. Some of the glee club kids were gathered in McKinley's yard, discussing songs for Mr. Shue's weekly assignment until their next class. It wasn't strange that one of them was distracted momentarily by his cell phone, he didn't know why so many glances came. Perhaps it hadn't been so much the message, but his apparent urgency to see it, though.
He almost released another breath when he confirmed that yes, the message was indeed from Sebastian.
From Sebastian (12:42): Wya doing?
Kurt snorted at the appalling attempt of writing. Sometimes talking to Sebastian was like talking to Finn.
"Everything alright?" Tina's voice distracted him from the text he had begun to write. He looked up and both the asian girl and Rachel were staring at him.
"Uh... yes?" Kurt replied, a bit confused. "Why?"
"Nothing," Rachel stated, but there was a small smile hidden between the corners of her lips. "It's just... it should be something very important by the way—" she interrupted herself when another buzz echoed in the conversation.
From Sebastian (12:43): Kurrrrt!
"N-no," Kurt stammered, stumbling over his words as he saw the new message. "I-It's just my dad. He needs me to help at the garage—"
Another buzz.
From Sebastian (12:43): You at school right?
"Sure." Tina intervened, showing a smile too similar to Rachel's. "It's not our business,"
From Sebastian (12:43): Princessssss! :(
Rachel made a sound of complicity. "Of course, but as I said, It must be important; That's like ten messages,"
"You know, it's the age" Kurt tried to excuse himself. "He's becoming impatient…"
Just as the words came out of his mouth the tone of his phone began to ring, attracting the attention of some of the other guys sitting with them. Damned Sebastian. Not a single message all day and now this?
"I need to get this," he said, standing up from his seat. No one said anything in response, but Kurt caught the way Tina was holding Rachel's arm, leaving the skin of the shorter girl's arm white by the force of the grip.
They were acting very strange, Kurt thought as he walked away to answer the phone.
He walked until he was sure that no one with overly curious ears could hear him and lifted the phone to his ear.
"What?" It was his only answer.
Sebastian's voice was rather playful. "Ow, don't get rude with me, babe. And don't ignore me, by the way,"
"I wasn't— I wasn't ignoring you, you didn't even give me time to answer," He was the one who hadn't texted him, Sebastian didn't get to play offended.
"How long do you need to write a text? But, forget that, what's your next class?"
Kurt frowned, confused by the sudden change of subject. "Uh, French. Why?"
"And how important is it for you to attend?"
Kurt's frown deepened. What was Sebastian up to? "Once again, why?"
The sub must have caught the demand in the tone of voice because he says, "Let's just say you have a commitment,"
Kurt increasingly understood less and less. He doesn't understand these games of Sebastian and doesn't like the sensation of feeling confused. "What are you talking about?"
"Look to your right," Kurt only found himself more annoyed by the vague answers, then by mere instinct, his head turned without thinking to his right. Sebastian was just right there, recharged on a graffiti wall with bright colors, his phone stuck to his ear and a smile on his face. He was wearing a strange outfit, a pair of loose black and white shorts and a dark cotton shirt that didn't match with his tennis at all- and god, why was he thinking about that?
"What are you doing here?" He asked, still over the phone. He saw Sebastian shrug. There was no answer. Kurt watched him hang off.
Kurt pursed his lips, unsure how to act in this situation, so he just walked forward, to where Sebastian didn't take his eyes off him, a funny look on them. After crossing several tables and strange people, Sebastian received him with a cocky smile and a carefree pose, as if he weren't exposing himself just for being here.
"What are—"
"I told you, you have a commitment, "Sebastian said as the only explanation. Kurt opened his mouth, wanting to say something to express his confusion and surprise at the presence of the sub here, but he simply couldn't think of anything.
"To do what?" Was the only thing that made it out.
Next thing he knew there was some kind of white stick with a weird net above being presented in front of him. He didn't have the time to react before Sebastian answered his question.
"To accompany me to tryout for the Dalton lacrosse team," The sub exclaimed, like a matter of fact, gesturing to the stick.
"Oh, Sebastian, that's great, but I have class, in fact, you have class," Kurt said. He tried to show his contentment for the boy and apologize at the same time, but Sebastian wasn't having any of that.
"I asked permission." He assured him. "Come on, it's just a couple of classes. You were the one who encouraged me to do this, it's only fair that you give me moral support,"
"I-yes, but I have french, and then I..." More and more things kept coming to his head of why this wasn't the best idea, why it would be better to politely refuse and do what he had to do. That until he saw Sebastian's grin drop bit by bit, becoming an uncomfortable grimace of disappointment.
Kurt knows that it isn't Sebastian's intention to show it, that it's as involuntary as it can be and that only makes it much worse. He thinks about all the work he had taken; skipping classes and driving here, looking for him only to spend another couple of hours driving back, all just to take him to a lacrosse tryout.
"I-uh-" Kurt struggles with words. "Well, I suppose it cannot do any harm,"
He knows he did the right thing when Sebastian's smile reappears, brighter than before and something inside Kurt just melt.
"Really? Awesome! So, uh, let's get going,"
The sub doesn't wait for one more word before start walking toward the parking lot. Kurt beams, following his footsteps, trying not to think about Rachel tomorrow, or probably tonight, asking for explanations for not having attended to glee.
…
Kurt sat quietly, hands clasped on his knees, unconsciously putting more force into the grip than was necessary as the rest of his body leaned forward, eagerly trying to get closer to the scene unfolding in front of his eyes, unable to stay in position. His feet moved restlessly every couple of seconds and had nothing to do with the occasional gust of cool air hitting him right in the face from his place in the stands of the field.
His eyes fluttered from side to side across the court as he followed the lean, agile figure running and jumping and spinning on his own feet almost like a ballet dancer. He, of course, was going to have to mention that to Sebastian at some point, because it was time for him to get a little revenge for all the 'princess' comments. Either way, Kurt had discovered that lacrosse was far more entertaining than football. Not that he was suddenly a big fan, but he could certainly bear this without complaining as long as he got to see some more of those pirouettes.
He has to admit it, Sebastian's quite good at this. It's irritating. In addition to everything else, the guy got to be good at sports. Great. His ego was going to grow to be the size of the planet.
Kurt was one of the few, if not the only spectators of the audition. Although, he supposed it was called a match. Although it was actually a tryout. What for Kurt was translated in audition. Anyway, he'd spent over twenty full minutes looking at Sebastian whether it was running around the court, jumping obstacles too high from his point of view, doing at least five hundred push-ups and now he was doing some kind of practice or improvised game with three guys who helped the coach. Three very big, very dangerous-looking boys.
Right now, he could see the shallow form of Sebastian's breathing, his shiny skin from sweat running down his face. In Kurt's opinion the coach was being overly picky, most of the guys would be lying on the floor for now and for god's sake Sebastian was on his sickness. Seriously who the hell did he think he was, superman?
Not that he was aware of this last thing of course.
Kurt didn't like him at all. All he did was stand there and scream orders. The boy could faint from physical exertion at any moment, and he hadn't even given him five minutes to drink water. Kurt wanted to see him try to do half of what Sebastian had done without a drop of water. On sickness.
He had forgotten how hard Dalton was in all academic respects, apparently extracurricular activities were not the exception. Thank goodness Kurt had never been fond of any sport. No. He was good with his sewing machine, thank you very much.
He had hardly finished that thought when he saw Sebastian being literally run over for one of the guys playing his opponent, his body practically becoming a rag doll at the touch and hitting the ground hard as a rock.
The coach's whistle sounded, indicating the end of the practice.
All of Kurt's face frowned. He was starting to feel worried when after several seconds Sebastian still wouldn't stand from the ground. The only thing that reassured him a little was that he could see his chest rising and falling with his breathing, the angle barely let him see anything on his face from this distance but he knew by the way one of the big boys laughed and held out a hand to him as he passed him that he couldn't be so bad.
When he finally managed to stabilize on his feet and took off his helmet, smiling slightly in gratitude to the other boy Kurt could finally let go of all the air he didn't know was holding in his lungs.
The coach called the next on the list and Kurt saw how a boy, short, thin and with slightly long dark hair got up from the bench next to the man and, after receiving a couple of shouts proceeded to run around the court, in the same way Sebastian had done at the start of the audition.
Sebastian cast a scathing glance to the boy when he passed by his side and Kurt giggled a little.
When he'd finished intimidating the poor kid his sight drifted off until his eyes met Kurt's, holding his gaze for a few moments before starting jogging in his direction. Kurt didn't seem able to look anywhere else. Sebastian's face was stained red and sweaty all over the but his eyes glowed with an emotion unknown to Kurt, probably a mixture of adrenaline and endorphins released by the exercise, he couldn't be sure. However, Kurt really liked it.
"Hey..." Sebastian said between gasps as he finally managed to get to the place in the stands where Kurt was. He took the water bottle next to him and threw it at the other boy, standing still a couple of steps below. Sebastian captured it effortlessly and didn't hesitate for a second to open it and take it to his mouth, a lot of liquid spilling over
the sides as he swallowed.
"Easy, you're going to drown yourself," Kurt chuckled. Sebastian hummed and pushed the bottle away, at least enough to turn it so that the remaining liquid fell on his head, soaking his hair even more and making the water drip from Sebastian's face and neck, and...
Kurt felt the beginning of a boner inside his very, very tight pants and forced himself to look away, for more lovely that the view was.
"I swear, I'm exhausted..." Sebastian continued in a gasp. "I could— Kurt- fuck, I need a break..."
Shut up, shut up, shut up... those words were not doing any good to Kurt's head. He needed to spend less time with Sebastian, his incredible ability to think inappropriate things about everything was contagious.
"That looked very uh… tough," Kurt murmured, forcing a smile. Sebastian started to climb the stands to his place, shaking some of the water with his head and splashing Kurt in the face. Kurt frowned, he wasn't sure if he was annoyed by the lack of consideration or by how good he looked while doing that.
"Shit, you can say that again," He more or less collapsed next to Kurt, letting his arm wet with sweat touch Kurt's. Strangely this didn't bother him the way he thought it could if it was Finn or anyone else, it was still dirty and he would prefer if anything touching his skin was as clean as it could be but he didn't feel disgusted by it either. "You um... watched it all?" Sebastian asked, and Kurt looked at him, his face still wet from the water and he looked almost shy as he looked into Kurt's eyes.
"All of it," Kurt assured him. "What else could I do here?" He teased.
Sebastian offered him a flat smile. "Do you think they'll accept me?"
"Sure, why would not they?" Kurt asked, making it sound like the stupidest idea on the planet.
"I got hit," He said, tightening his jaw and throwing the empty bottle of water downwards.
"You're not supposed to get hit, in case you didn't guess it."
"I think you did great," Kurt made an effort to ignore the hidden insult, now that the initial emotion had passed Sebastian was starting to get nervous, even a blind man could see it.
"You can't know that, you don't know a thing about sports," He grumbled.
"Maybe, but I doubt the way you dodged those three and threw the... that thing into the net was bad."
Sebastian sighed impatiently and Kurt realized he was watching the guy on the court jump over obstacles. "I just..." he began. "I feel like I didn't do everything I could. I was kind of tired. And if they do not choose me? I mean, there are a lot of good guys on the team, what if I'm just not enough? "
Sebastian looked so discouraged, as if he had already been rejected, it hurts him to the guts, he's not used to seeing the other guy so worried about something so... simple. Not that he doesn't consider it unimportant, but that shouldn't have such an effect on Sebastian. And it's at that moment that Kurt realizes he feels guilty.
He had been the one who had suggested this to Sebastian, and now he was like that because of him. He realizes it sounds silly, Sebastian hasn't even been rejected yet, but he's feeling bad now and Kurt can not take that, it's his responsibility to keep him healthy and happy— No! Not happy. Healthy. Happiness... That wasn't his job, he wasn't involved with Sebastian on an emotional level. He was... nothing but an emergency dom, he was not his dom, not for real...
"Sorry if I'm boring you, I didn't—"
"No, no... you're not." Kurt rushed to clarify. Sebastian glared at him. "But, where did all your confidence in yourself go? You're Sebastian Smythe, nobody can win against you,"
That get's him a half smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "You really think they'll accept me, honestly?"
"Honestly?" Kurt asks and Sebastian gives him a little nod. "I think a sport as snobby as this could not have a better—"
"Shut up!" Sebastian exclaimed, pushing him away. They were both laughing for when Kurt managed to get up. "Lacrosse is not snob, and neither am I." He protested.
Kurt arched one eyebrow. "Seriously?"
The skin between Sebastian's eyes crinkled. "Okay, maybe I am a little snob."
"Thank you." Kurt scoffed.
"You're an asshole."
"Coming from you, I don't know if that's an insult or a compliment,"
In a terribly childish act, Sebastian stuck his tongue out.
They spend a lot of time doing watching other students do the tryout. Kurt likes to see the look of satisfaction on Sebastian's face when one of the guys falls upon the obstacles, can't finish the push-ups or is unable to dodge a tackle in the court. It's a weird thing to like, Kurt knows that not so long ago he would have looked at the wicked smile and thought of it as excessive, even vicious. Now Kurt only feels affection, as strange as it may seem.
"So... how are things going? With you know, your sickness." He asks, trying to divert Sebastian's attention a little. He doesn't think it's good for him (or anyone else) to have so much fun watching the other poor guys almost die on that court.
"Terrible," Sebastian declares. "But better, I guess."
Sebastian contracts one of his eyes in a grimace, suspicious. "Yeah, um, why do you ask that way?"
"Because..." Kurt murmured, unsure of how to explain himself. He didn't want Sebastian to take this wrong, like some kind of complaint, because he definitely had no right to do that, but staying quiet didn't seem like an option either. "You see... we don't really act too much like a dom and a sub when we're..." Sebastian's brow furrowed even more. "I'm supposed to like... give you orders, and ask you to do things and you're supposed to do it, but you rarely do, so I don't try it very often either... I'm surprised, It's all... " His voice trailed off word by word that came out of his mouth. He could have expected any kind of reaction from Sebastian, except the one he got.
"I'm a bitch I know, you can say it," The sub said with a straight face. Kurt was quick to try to say something to fix it, babbling a little as he searched for the right words. Then Sebastian was laughing. "Relax. I told you, it's not like I didn't know."
"I didn't mean that," he tried to apologize.
"I know that too. But I wouldn't blame you for thinking so. Besides, I'm not used to receiving orders. "
Kurt greeted. "Yeah, I can see that,"
"Can I ask you a question?" Sebastian said, suddenly. Kurt blinked at the strange tone but nodded. Sebastian looked away, seeming as if he were mentally preparing for something especially difficult. Kurt didn't take his eyes off him. "First time you came here to help me with my... problem, I thought… you were… I mean…" Kurt looked at him, urging him to continue. "I- remember you putting a lot of emphasis on uh… kneeling and calling me a… you know, and some other things but, suddenly you stopped. Why is that?"
Kurt didn't have to think too much about the answer, even so he waited until he had Sebastian's eyes back on him to respond.
"You clearly weren't ready for that." He stated. "And believe me it wasn't hard to notice, I didn't want to pressure you into something you didn't want."
A little, almost invisible smile appeared at the commissure of Sebastian's lips. He'd knew back then that was the only thing to do, even if Sebastian responded to many of those things. Kurt hadn't wanted him to get angry at some point and do something stupid.
"Thank you," Sebastian said slowly, though Kurt had the impression that that wasn't exactly what he wanted to say. A few minutes passed and Kurt thought the conversation was over until Sebastian started talking again, almost a whisper in fact, as if he was afraid that Kurt would hear him, which was very strange considering that he was talking to him. "And what if I wanted to… try, " He gulped. "try some of those things umh, again… Would—" Sebastian interrupted himself at half-sentence. His eyes closed and frowned, then all at once he began to shake his head.
"It'll be really great, for your condition I mean," Kurt said hastily, before Sebastian had the time to close himself off. The sub stopped his movements and looked at him with wide, apprehensive eyes.
"Uh, I don't know, it's just that I… I'm curious, I guess I-I'm not sure, but if you think it'll help…"
"Well yes, I think it definitely would but," Kurt made sure to put an emphasis on that last part. "You have to be aware that It'll mean you'll really have to make an effort. Don't expect that only because you're doing it physically it'll work. You have to commit."
"Yeah, whatever, I can do that," Sebastian said that like he didn't care for it, as if all of sudden it was just the simplest task for him, but Kurt knew, he knew how much Sebastian struggled with those things, and the fact that now he was asking for them was… Kurt couldn't even tell how that made him feel.
"If you're going to drag me into this you have to be serious. " he said. This was Sebastian's last chance to change his mind. He saw the younger boy consider it for a tenth of a second, but he knew how to hide it very well, rolling his eyes and giving a glimpse of disdain.
"If you don't want to then you don't have to," Sebastian said, crossing his arms over his chest. Oh no, he wasn't leaving his decision on Kurt's hands.
"If you're okay with it, so am I," Kurt informed him, copying his posture to make fun of him. Sebastian undid the grip in his arms instantly.
"It's not… I can't promise I'll be perfect but… I want to try it, at least one time in my life. If I'm not into it I don't have ever do it again."
"So, you're asking me to…"
"Yes," Sebastian cut in.
Kurt smiled. "I never thought someday I'll hear Sebastian Smythe asking—
"Don't mess with me right now, I might not stop myself from punching you in the face,"
Kurt chuckled. "Hey, I was just saying..." Sebastian didn't seem inclined to change his expression to a lighter one. Perhaps Kurt had just found the breaking point in his sense of humor...
He didn't get to go deeper into it; The coach was now in the middle of the court, shouting the names of each of the boys who had done the tryout. Sebastian moved in his place, looking a little uncomfortable when he heard his name. Kurt could see five of the seven boys swirling around the man, who took out his whistle and made it sound as loud as he could, causing several of them to move away from the annoying shriek.
"You should probably go," Kurt said to Sebastian, who was also watching the scene, his nose wrinkled in an unconscious gesture. He stands up, going down the first stands to make his way to the ground. "I'll cross my fingers!" Kurt shouted in his direction. Sebastian turned his head to look at him but didn't show any expression as he kept walking towards the court.
Kurt sat there for a long time, watching the coach scream a number of things he couldn't understand. Every boy, including Sebastian, stood in front of him in a line without saying anything the whole time, although he believes he saw one of them make obscene gestures to the man when he wasn't seeing.
After many puckered faces Kurt saw the group of boys disintegrate, each of them coming out of the line where they stood and leaving the court. The few guys who helped the coach were patting softly on the backs of the guys leaving, some giving them little grateful smiles, some others throwing daggers with their eyes, probably because the vast majority of them had been shot down by the big boys. When it was Sebastian's turn to pass by, he barely glanced at any of them, his footsteps headed straight to where Kurt was waiting for him. He didn't wait for Sebastian to reach him, he got up and went down the stands, stepping forward to meet him halfway.
"How did it go?" Kurt asked, but from the look of smugness and arrogance on the younger boy's face he could very well guess the answer.
Sebastian eyed his nails, the obnoxious expression of presumption hiding a giant smile "I was accepted, of course,"
In an attack of fierce excitement for Sebastian's words Kurt threw his arms around the boy's neck, squeezing until Sebastian was forced to lean a little down by his weight. He felt the body of the sub freeze beneath his embrace and he almost pulls off except that when he was undoing his grip he felt Sebastian's warm hands slide around his waist until he was hugging him too.
Sebastian's hair and face were wet against his cheek and neck but that didn't matter, his body felt oddly good wrapped tightly in the arms of the other boy.
"Congratulations." He said, giving a firm final squeeze before letting his arms go loose, releasing Sebastian's neck and pulling away a little to meet his eyes. "I'm really happy for you,"
Sebastian smiled at him, but it was at that very moment that he seemed to realize their positions, with Sebastian's arms still clinging to Kurt's waist even though it had been several moments since the dom had undone his grip on his neck. He let go of his waist in an abrupt movement, moving away a couple of steps, cheeks going as pink as Kurt had ever seen in him.
"Thank you, uh," Sebastian muttered quickly, looking everywhere but Kurt. "I suppose I should take you back to Lima..."
"That would be good, yes, because I'm really starving right now," Kurt commented. He didn't know how to feel about Sebastian's reaction to the hug, but at least he hadn't insulted him or mocked him for it just because he could. That should be a good sign.
"Me too," Sebastian said, looking up to give a furtive glance at Kurt. And just maybe he was still a little nervous from the tryout because he seemed impatient. "We could go eat some place, I know a place downtown," He suggests.
Kurt tilted his head slightly to the side and suspicious half-smile curved his lips. "Well, I got a little bit of homework so..."
Oh…"
"And since I'm coming tomorrow I'll—"
"Yes, yeah I get it." He gave him a weak but soft smile. "Just, let me take a shower and pick up my—"
"But we could stop by taco bell on the way back." Kurt proposed, blocking the way Sebastian had already started back to the showers. "What do you think?" Sebastian's green eyes looked at him, first confused about why he was blocking his way, then a tiny smile spread across his face, a controlled one maybe but spontaneous enough.
"Anything you want, princess." He leaned toward Kurt, who immediately moved away.
Sebastian winked at him.
"I'll be back in a minute,"
"Take your time." Kurt mumbled, watching as the other boy turned his back to follow the path that the rest of the boys had taken to the showers, leaving him completely alone in the field.