Sebastian loved cock. He had always loved cock. At least, always since he discovered the wonders of the male anatomy. He loved to look, to touch, loved to feel it grow big and hard in his hands, to draw his fingers up and down the soft, hot skin and squeeze and stroke and taste. He was well aware of how cliché it was, but he couldn't change it. He preferred to think about it as classic, though. He was a man and he was very, very gay; of course he loved cock! Loving cock was what made him gay in the first place. He didn't know why it was considered sluttish not to try to hide it.
He remembered being eight, maybe nine, and having teachers explaining the differences between male and female bodies, how and why they were different. Saying over and over through the year that it was so when a woman and a man wanted to have a baby and if they loved each other enough, the stork would bring them one.
He had laughed out loud in the middle of the class at that.
After a minute of thirty pairs of eyes looking directly at him with identical questioning expressions he'd forced himself to shut his mouth. He ended up in the principal office anyway. As if that woman hadn't already hated him.
The thing was, Sebastian had always been a very sexual kid, as disturbing as it may sound. His very first encounter with porn had been at seven, when everyone was fall asleep and he could get away with watching TV at midnight. There was this movie and at some point it turned kind of weird for his seven-year-old mind, but he kept watching anyway. And then it happened. And it had been gross.
Of course it had been gross; he was seven. This woman was gross on her very own, big boobs, big butt, practically a stick with a set of balloons attached, and she was lacking some important parts for Sebastian. And, besides, she screamed way too much.
So for the time teachers were trying to tell him all those things he already knew a little more than what he should. But something was still a mystery for him. Why would anyone in their right mind want to have boobs on their face, or stick their fingers in that wet thing down there, or hear those irritating sounds so close of them? Why would anyone want to have sex with a woman, to begin with? And even more important, why put so much attention on them, when those men were insanely beautiful? Seriously those people didn't know how to make porn.
That had been his 'I want to be a porn maker' phase. Lucky for him his parents thought he didn't actually know what porn was. They almost fainted in any case.
It was at his classmate Tom's big brother's birthday party when he discovered gay porn for the first time.
His mother had made him go even though Sebastian had refused, since she and Tom's mom were good friends, and he had never been more grateful to his mom in his entire life. Tom's brother Kyle was fifteen and their parents had let him have a party when they weren't home as long as he watched Tom and Sebastian. It was late and he was opening one of the presents, three of the older guys were giggling, and he rapidly found out why. It was a tape. And they all knew what it was by then. Kyle hadn't cared that his six years younger brother was there, the tape was reproducing on the TV before he noticed and no five seconds into it there were two men on a bed, kissing, naked, and with their two very big erections on each other's hands.
The rest of the boys in the room, the ones that weren't laughing or watching stupefied, in Sebastian's case, had shouted and covered their eyes, some screaming 'Gross' and other sticking their tongues out and looking about to puke.
But why were they? Sebastian had spent a long time asking himself. Those ten seconds had been better than any other porn he had ever seen. There was no weird woman or big boobs and there was double cock! How could they not appreciate that?!
Sebastian had stolen that tape that night when nobody was looking. He still had it hidden in some place in his room, for sentimental value. Taking vaginas out of the equation had been the best thing that had ever happened to the world of porn, in Sebastian's humble opinion, and he couldn't understand why nobody else could see that.
Seriously cocks were awesome, they grew big and red and they looked fun to play with and yes Sebastian understood why they seemed so happy while doing it. He had his first erection watching that tape. And oh, it was even better then.
And after days and days of watching those two hours of shameless sex late at night with his parents two rooms down the hall, he started to get it.
Girls liked boys, and boys liked girls. That was everything he knew, everything they had ever taught him. Sebastian felt the impulse to stick his tongue out and frown and grumble. But hey he wasn't the only one! Almost every other boy he knew felt the same way. He told his teacher, he told his mom, he told practically everyone he could that he thought girls were stupid and silly and boring and Sebastian hated them all. The most he got with his tantrums was a lot of 'aww' and a kiss on his cheek promising that that was normal and he would get over it with the time.
But of course that didn't happen. Even so, he noticed that while that wasn't true for himself, it was for some of the other kids in his class. They all agreed with him in his perspective of girls, but no matter what they said, they still wanted to have 'girlfriends'. Sebastian did not. It didn't take long after that for him to figure things out.
But returning to the main point… cocks. There were some better than others, and Sebastian, like everyone, had his own preferences, and a bunch of videos in his computer filled up with enough beautiful cocks to last a lifetime. There were dozens, hundreds of cocks available for him only in his computer memory, not to talk about the millions Internet had to offer, but for some reason, he couldn't stop thinking about Kurt Hummel's cock.
He may be promiscuous, but four hours thinking solely about cock was a new record. Yes, he had always loved cock, but he had never been so obsessed with someone else's cock to the point of raving about it.
Sebastian didn't get why. He hadn't even seen it yet, it could be malformed! Or just hideous! He tried to convince himself of this but his over aroused body wasn't listening, especially not when every part of Kurt's body was so fucking perfect, why would his dick be ugly?
He shook his head. Concentrate Sebastian!
It was only past five o'clock on Saturday and he was trying to sleep at least two hours, while in reality all he could do was imagine Kurt's cock. The shape of it, the taste of it, the things Kurt could do with it… all the possibilities. Last night he had barely slept at all trying to avoid the thoughts that hunted his mind but it was useless, so he gave himself to it, the same way he had done at the beginning of the week.
And that was the problem. He had already given in. And he couldn't come back. And maybe that was the problem. He had already given in. And he couldn't come back.
Monday had been a wild ride, but late at night, and after hours of research about d/s relationships and dom hormones Sebastian surrendered to his fantasies, pulling out mental images of Kurt standing tall before him, but this time he was as naked as Sebastian, cock hard and dripping precome on his bedroom floor, stormy eyes looking down at him and carding his fingers through his hair. He could almost see it, could almost feel it, the pressure of his hair being tugged, soft at first, then a little rougher to coax him to get closer. In his mind Kurt had desire written all over his face, cheeks slightly flushed and mouth just the littlest bit open as his cock came in contact with Sebastian's lips and murmured ''open up, baby'' and then of course Sebastian would comply and after another ''Suck it'' he wouldn't waste a second. And when the end were close and the boy above him were completely lost in the pleasure Sebastian was giving to him he'd make sure that Kurt didn't ever have mind for anything that wasn't his cock and the sensation of Sebastian's warm, wet mouth around it, sucking happily.
Would he prefer coming in his mouth, so he could see Sebastian taste it, swallow it? Or would he rather pull out and come on him?
Sebastian had made himself come for the first time since this sickness thing started just at that thought. He'd spent the next couple of nights imagining that every single of those beautiful cocks in his computer was Kurt's and jerking off to it. And it had been one of the best ideas he's ever had! He was coming for fuck's sake! Repeatedly! Over and over until it didn't work anymore and god fucking damned he needed the real thing!
And then Anderson happened. And it all went to shit.
He had come back to Dalton, scrambling his way through the aisles of rooms to his own and slamming the door shut, immediately getting rid of his shirt and throwing it someplace and doing the same with the rest of his clothes as he walked to the shower and let the cold water pour over his head. It felt way too good under his overheated skin, but did nothing to lower his anger. He banged his head lightly against the wall of the shower. He was an idiot. How could he have been such an imbecile? This was Hummel he was talking about, of course everything Anderson would have to do was bat his eyes and he would come running. He was small and prudish and innocent and he was a freaking sub.
He banged his head a little harder on the wall. He was Sebastian-fucking-Smythe and no one was better than him. Especially not Anderson.
After that he hadn't been able to stop the wet dreams from coming, most ending with him waking up every two hours in a cold swear grinding against the mattress or the pillow or even his own hand about to reach the orgasm he wanted so much, but being incapable to really achieve it.
By now he was totally exhausted from the effort of dragging himself to class every day, of keeping pulled together in front of his teachers, the warblers… Thank god there were still a couple of months until regionals, maintaining a conversation with anyone was torture. There were deep, dark circles under his eyes, and that along with his constant fatigue had led everyone to think he's got the flu.
Yesterday he had skipped his last two classes, coming back to his room and unsuccessfully tried to sleep like a normal person. When he woke up one hour later it was with a raging erection that had him moaning and whining and barely able to move.
There had been a little, tiny hope that Kurt would come, that he'd come and reprimand him for not being in his position waiting for him, which he knows is ridiculous because Kurt told him he wouldn't be coming and besides he had never expected that from Sebastian before, so of course none of that happened. Which was why Sebastian refused to touch himself thinking about him, and it also was why right now, more than twenty-four hours later he was clenching his phone in his hands, searching for any dignity he had left in his body and unable to stop thinking about Kurt's cock.
He couldn't get any lower.
He looked at the phone; it had been thirty-five minutes since he got it from some place under the bed and twenty since he hesitatingly searched for Kurt's number. His finger drifted over the Green button on the screen. He felt as if his bowels were all jumbled up and he was sweating even in the cold of December but really, he knew he was just making up excuses. His sickness was not in the least as bad as it had been other days. Yes, he felt like shit, but his body wasn't on fire… yet. It was still there though, under his skin, the desperate desire he couldn't run away of. He needed Kurt, with him. Now.
He presses the button.
There's only five seconds.
"Hello?" Kurt's voice fills his ears and the words get stuck in Sebastian's throat. There is music coming from the phone, he doesn't recognize it but it sounds awfully romantic and, even though one part of him knows that he's been stupid, another part is over analyzing this fact as if it was supposed to be some clear hint that he should evaporate.
"Uh-um, hi, Kurt—" Then there's another voice, laughs. Sebastian's pride makes an unexpected appearance, and wrath seems to fill his chest inside out. For the first time in his entire life, Sebastian pushes it down. He'd have time to be angry about it later, right now the other 95% of his body that wasn't livid really needed Kurt right now.
He heard the boy say a fast 'Excuse me I just… need a moment' and the sound of a door shutting.
"Sebastian, are you okay?" Kurt asks, still in a small voice, and Sebastian bits his lower lip, hard, only not to give him some petty answer.
"Okay. Just… not very good." His own voice came out sounding much more uneven than what he intended to. Kurt let a gulp of air out and he had just started to say something when a loud sound, which he suspected was someone knocking on the door, stopped him.
"Yeah! Just a sec!"
Sebastian felt his stomach drop again. "Am I interrupting something important?" He heard his own voice go flat with bitterness but either Kurt didn't or he just didn't care because he continued to talk as if Sebastian hadn't said anything.
"What happened? Are you feeling sick again?" the fact that the tone Kurt was using was more urgent to what Sebastian had expected made him feel a little better. He had pictured himself having to whine and grumble and bitch for about ten minutes just to get the dom's attention.
"I'm- kind of," he answered honestly.
"Are you breathing correctly?"
"I think- yes?"
Kurt sighed again. "Bas…"
And as if to remind Sebastian of its existence his cock went up and down, desperate in its own accord for some attention.
"Hold on, I'm on my way,"
"No, it's not—" it was Sebastian's turn to sigh. It was almost six by now, in Winter, so the sun was slowly going down already and it was more than one and half hours from Lima to here. For when Kurt arrived and make it back to his house it could be almost midnight. "It isn't an emergency. I just needed… could you— on the phone?"
"No way, that's not what you need. Don't worry I'll be there as soon as I can."
And he hung up.
…
Sebastian had to admit his selfish side took a lot of pride in having got Kurt to drop everything he was doing to drive almost two hours to Westerville just because his dick was hard.
It was more than that, of course, but that was the part his brain insisted on.
Since he'd called Kurt every minute seemed to last five, and every five seemed to last forty. One time he was almost sure he saw the hands of the clock in his room going backwards. But no matter how anxious he was, just knowing that Kurt was on his way made him automatically feel better. Kurt was going to fix it. He'll fix everything and in a couple of hours he would be sleeping, his dick soft and hopefully clean.
After the first thirty minutes his phone rang. Kurt was calling him.
Immediately his mind filled with images of Kurt saying he won't make it to Dalton; that it was too late, that he had better things to do, that Sebastian was egoistic just for thinking he would. But none of that happened. When Sebastian answered the phone, as faster as he could to keep more things from coming to his mind, Kurt only informed him that he was almost halfway and asked if he was okay, 'Do you know if you have a fever, no? Dizzy? Have you drunk water? Are you sure?'
Sebastian knew it was sort of dangerous; Kurt was driving, on the highway, he didn't sound totally calm, and if what he told him was true he was driving at least one hundred miles per hour. He shouldn't be on the phone right now, he should hang up, but his body just won't let him. He'd missed Kurt. He'd missed talking to him.
Eventually, he had to. It was almost fully dark by now, which only made it more dangerous for Kurt and he forced himself to be the responsible one for the first time in his life.
Another thirty minutes and he was still lying on his bed, breathing as deep as he could, his hands still clenching the phone between them when there was a series of frantic knocks on the door, fast and loud, and Sebastian's heart raced. Shit. Was he supposed to be doing something specific? Should he have taken his clothes off? He was only wearing some old grey pants anyway. Wouldn't that be pretentious, though? Like he expected Kurt to…
The knocking came again and Sebastian shook his head, getting out of bed and walking to the door.
When he opened the door Kurt looked at him as if what he'd expected to see was him torn apart all over the room.
"Are you better? I would have stopped by for some analgesics but I didn't want to take more than what was necessary." Kurt stormed into his room, closing the door behind him and dropping his things on the floor. The first buttons of his shirt were undone and half his clothes seemed kind of loosened, his hair such a mess it looked as if he had been pulling at it, a so unusual look on him that Sebastian felt an urge to take a photo. "Oh my! Lay down. I don't want you to get sicker."
Sebastian found himself being pushed backwards by Kurt's hands on his chest, not at all forceful just… insistent.
"I'm… better," he said after taking both of Kurt's hands on his own to calm him down. He couldn't say he was good, his body still ached and his head was a havoc but the dom seemed truly more upset than what he thought he would be. Kurt stopped to look at him for a couple seconds, letting out a breath of relief when he seemed to convince himself that he wasn't dying. It was a good thing he wasn't looking down to where Sebastian's dick was trying to argue about it, forming an obvious and embarrassing tent in his sweatpants, throbbing and moving as to get closer to Kurt. "I'm sorry I pulled you out of... whatever you were doing before. I should… I was a moron."
Kurt was still holding one of his hands, which made it sort of awkward, and also making Sebastian too self-conscious at the moment. "No, no." he shook his head slightly, squeezing Sebastian's hand. "I told you to call me if anything happened, that was what you did, and I'm glad that you did. You're a good boy, Sebastian."
Sebastian cringed, feeling the familiar warmth filling his body. He always hated that, always hated how much he liked it.
"Anyway you shouldn't have come, you should have told me to get by on my own, you had things to do…"
"Don't be ridiculous, I wouldn't want to be away when you feel sick-umm bad. Besides, I felt guilty for not coming yesterday, if I'm honest." Kurt admitted, frowning just for a second.
"You didn't have to. It's my body. I got myself into all of this."
"Maybe, but right now, while you're still sick, you are my responsibility."
His erection bulged obscenely in his pants, finally drawing Kurt's attention to it.
"Oh…" Kurt took a short breath and seemed to gulp it down. "You… sorry, I didn't realize…" he let go of Sebastian's hand. His eyes had been on Sebastian pants for too long for it to be comfortable for any of them.
"Secondary effect." He said clumsily, just to fill the silence.
Kurt nodded, seeming to get out of his trance.
"Do you want me to… take care of it?"
Sebastian's breath caught. Please, please oh fuck yeah please, want it, want it so much, please. He felt the slight taste of blood on his tongue as he bit it, just hard enough to keep his mouth shut.
"That would be… really fucking great." He said, struggling with the words. He still felt stupid, standing there with a boner at a nighty degrees angle from the rest of his body, but starting to beg and roll over on the floor like a dog would be a lot worse.
"Okay." Kurt nodded again, but his body relaxed a bit as he entered what apparently was his dom-mode or something like that. "On the bed."
…
After what seemed to be like five minutes later Sebastian laid on his bed, blankets tangled around his feet, head resting flat on the mattress and his soft cock twitching with aftershocks after what he thought as the quickest orgasm of his entire life.
It wasn't, he knew it very well, but no amount of logic would take the pout off his face.
It had been too fast. Too frustrating. Unsatisfying. Kurt had gone directly to the point and just made him jerk off on his arms, just when Sebastian thought they had already got over that.
It hadn't been bad, he couldn't exactly complain that was for sure but he and his dick were still disappointed. He longed for the torture that their pasts encounters had been, not this kind of torture but the hot, desperate need of having Kurt's touch so close and having to wait for it, hoping that it will eventually come.
But maybe Kurt just wasn't in the mood. Maybe Sebastian had really annoyed him, ruining his weekend plans and he was secretly pissed but trying not to show it. Even if he was, Sebastian was convinced he could make it better, if only Kurt would let him. Except he knew he wouldn't, in fact there was no point in asking, he'd been turned down so many times by now that he was aware of how useless it was to try.
They had been in the same position for a few minutes and from this angle he could perfectly see the need of the dom. And as much as he loved looking at it and knowing it was him who had provoked it he hated that he wasn't allowed to touch it. He had to stay on his place and keep his hands to himself.
He still wasn't able to come to terms with Kurt rejecting him to go hide and jerk off in his bathroom. He'd felt so confused and baffled. It made him want to kick the boy's ass every time he thought about it. He had been naked and horny and totally willing and Kurt had preferred his own hand? Kurt preferred to be in the bathroom, fixing a problem that Sebastian could very well have taken care of. Was he such a bad option for him that it was better to do it for himself than to let Sebastian touch him?
He hadn't been enough. He wasn't enough, not for someone like Kurt, someone pure and kind and smart like him would never see him as more than a charity case. And still… there were times when he thought otherwise, times in which Kurt would look at him as if he was good and right and worthy and capable of more than just sing around a bunch of nerds and have sex with strangers.
But those times were brief and ephemeral, like Sebastian's time with Kurt. Which was probably why he'd been pretending he wasn't upset about those five minutes. And besides, it wasn't as if he had any right to demand more. He didn't want to enter a discussion that would end up with Kurt leaving. He wanted this to last as much as it could because he knew he wouldn't get more, not with Blaine, and school, and fucking friends taking all of Kurt's time away.
"You alright?"
Sebastian turned his head to look at Kurt who had a slight frown on his forehead but also a little smile on his lips. Sebastian shrugged, arching an eyebrow and pulling out his best smirk. "I just thought you weren't gonna drive another night at this time of the night from Lima to Westerville."
That got a chuckle out of Kurt. "Right. Guess I forgot." He said with a smile. "But since you mentioned it perhaps next time you could call at a reasonable hour—"
"I told you you didn't have to come," Sebastian replied with a roll of his eyes. No matter how happy he was Kurt hadn't listened to him, he didn't have to know that.
"—and if you asked nicely and said thank you afterwards—"
"Wasn't as if I planned it!" he shrugged, a grimace on his face. Kurt wore an expression of irritation mixed with amusement and Sebastian wanted to roll his eyes again when he felt the weight beside him moving. No, don't go…
"Which reminds me…" Kurt got out of the bed, trying to discretely adjust himself in his pants. Sebastian made no effort at all to pretend he wasn't watching, staring blatantly at his crotch the whole time. "I brought something… that… might be useful for this kind of situations…" he said as his hand moved inside his messenger bag, apparently looking for whatever dumb thing he'd get. Sebastian only could hope it wasn't some stupid self-help book. What he got out of the bag was unquestionably not a book.
"Are those my pills?" Sebastian asked, confused.
"Yeah. I went to a doctor and asked him about them."
He took the bottle of pills from Kurt's hand. "So I was right? They don't cause any harm?"
"Well… not exactly," Kurt answered, one eye narrowing more than the other. "Seems like it contains a component that causes erratic mood changes, which explains your behavior those few days, among other side effects. "
Sebastian wanted to feel angry at that insinuation. He didn't remember having mood swings at all, more than anything he just remembered feeling horny, that and Kurt being a prude all the time. "Like…?"
"Headache, slight changes in weight..." Kurt looked away for a fraction of a second. "Erectile dysfunction if used frequently."
Sebastian shuddered. "Bye, bye pills," he said, dropping the bottle and kicking it away carefully with his foot as if it were some sort of virus. "So that old lady at the drugstore lied to me?"
Kurt sighed. "I suppose maybe it helped you suppress some of the discomfort, or maybe just ... delay it, which is the more likely according to what the doctor told me."
'"You went to see a doctor?"
"Yes. Who, by the way, did a very difficult job for me to get this information. I told him I was a sub but he didn't believe me, besides he wanted to make me blood tests, so I had to tell him that my sub had a phobia to the doctors. Anyway, he recommended me to stop being negligent and a loafer and take care of my sub myself."
"You did all that?"
"Yeah… I mean, I needed to be sure it wasn't dangerous, at least not in a serious way, you already had quite a few."
"That's… I didn't think you'd do all that. Sounds rather complicated." Sebastian rubbed the skin on the back of his neck.
"It's nothing." It was, at least, it was for Sebastian, but he didn't want to turn it into a big deal, knowing Kurt, he would probably do that for anyone. "But, you know, maybe only for emergencies…" he stepped to the place where the bottle of pills had rolled and picked it up. "And it was interesting."
"How?"
"He made me a lot of questions before he let me talk at all and since I had filled the papers saying that I was a sub… as a dom I don't get the 'how often you masturbate?' or 'on the scale from one to ten, how submissive do you feel looking at this picture?' it was weird."
Sebastian couldn't help laughing a little. "What was your answer?"
"It had the form of weirdly shaped boobs so minus three." Kurt laughed in unison. "It was an experience. Reminded me why I stopped wanting to be a sub when I was twelve. They ask you too much personal information to my taste."
"You wanted to be a sub?" Sebastian asked, moving from his position to lean on one elbow and look at Kurt, genuinely interested. For him the idea of someone actually wanting to be a sub was completely absurd. He truly couldn't imagine why anyone would; it was horrible. Sabastian knows that it wasn't common for someone to reject their designation for so long, and actually the vast majority was fine with it from the beginning, after listening all their lifes that's how things were and that everything was for the best. Sebastian had had enough of that himself. There were tons of reasons to want to be a dom rather than a sub, and he knew some kids struggled with that, for a year or two, tops. Sharing 'too much information' wasn't one he heard very often.
Kurt nodded, coming to sit on the chair next to the bed.
"Well, everyone said since I was little that I should've been one, that I certainly looked like one, that I gave out those `vibes´ so that's what I believed too. It was the most reasonable; I was scrawny, withdrawn, sullen and antisocial, nothing like the other doms kids. I thought it would be easier, that maybe I was one after all." Kurt answered, not sad or happy, just looking nostalgic. "I was really stupid at the time. I thought, if I am a Dom i shoudn't feel insecure, I shouldn't seek refuge or feel afraid, subs do that, I am no sub. But you see, we all have wrong ideas about what it means to be a dom, or a sub, or whay it means to be in a relationship."
Sebastian considered this for a second but, to be honest, he didn't want to think too deeply about all this right now.
"So what did you do?" he asked, leaning closer to Kurt to be comfortable.
"What was I going to do? Nothing. I still was the same. I talked to my father about it, but both he and my mother assured me that there was nothing wrong with my designation and that was the end of the matter for them. Great help." He snorted at the memory. "But can you imagine? Me? A dom? Seriously every teacher had to check with my parents that I wasn't lying. It was downright embarrassing. And I couldn't even blame them. There was absolutely nothing in me that pointed I was a dom, and if you think I look like a girl now you should have seen me a couple of years ago, who would want to submit to someone who looked like me? It was a joke."
Sebastian frowned; he didn't like the way Kurt talked, he didn't like to imagine other doms seeing Kurt as less than them, or other subs thinking he wasn't enough, he didn't like to think about how bad he must have felt, but the worst of everything was to think that he himself had said and thought many of those things. Kurt was the best person he knew, he didn't deserve any of that.
Kurt kept talking, distracting Sebastian from his thoughts. "If I had been a sub it would have been a little easier, I think. I would still have had problems with my attitude and a prepuber girl face at sixteen never helps but some pervert would have wanted to corrupt me," he laughed, although it wasn't a cheerful sound.
Sebastian crossed his arms in his chest. Kurt couldn't imagine how wrong he was, he was... shit Kurt was stunning, from his bright blue eyes to his perfect skin and his hair and his, his hands and hips and god his ass...
It was not necessary to be a dom to want to corrupt Kurt, Sebastian already wanted that.
Damn I wanted it so bad.
"And what changed?" He forced himself to ask, not wanting Kurt to think he had lost attention to his story.
"Well, when we formed the Glee Club in McKinley, it helped me a lot, I realized that I didn't need to be like those doms they show in magazines that girls fantasize about, I preferred to be just me, even if it was not the big deal. Then I met Blaine. "
Ugh. Maybe he shouldn't have asked.
He scoffed and Kurt turned his head to look at him more fixedly. Sebastian didn't care if he sounded bitter, he hated the tenderness in Kurt's voice when he mentioned Blaine.
"Sure and I guess it was like a fairy tale after that." he said roughly. "The perfect sub that forever changes the dom's life ah? Typical."
"Not really," Kurt clarified, confused and curious about Sebastian's attitude. "Blaine didn't look at me as anything more than a friend for months, and when we started dating there were only a few kisses. For a long time, I had the feeling that he didn't want to submit to me in that way, and I didn't expect him to, just like nobody else did and when it happened, I got scared, I guess."
Sebastian leaned forward, his nose very close to the line of Kurt's jaw. He wanted to comfort him, as much as possible. "That's why you broke up?"
"No," said the dom, looking at him when he felt skin-to-skin contact. Sebastian couldn't help feeling disappointed, but he knew that there was little chance that his assumption was correct. He knew Blaine had been Kurt's only boyfriend and knew that he wasn't a virgin, and even though he could have had sex without involving a serious relationship he wasn't naive enough to really believe it.
"So?"
"After a couple of months we started to... do things, I wasn't able to do many of the things Blaine wanted to do, I was too afraid to do something wrong, I felt like I would break him if I let myself go too far and even though I had a better self-esteem than a few years ago, I didn't feel comfortable with some things. "
"So he broke up with you…"This time Kurt nodded at him, closing his eyes briefly.
Maybe Blaine had been some kind of lunatic who liked being hung upside down and hit with ten different types of whips, because he couldn't imagine Kurt not being dominant enough to- well, anything.
Of course Kurt was going to worry about hurting him, it was just like when he had stopped three times to check that he was okay before letting himself touch Sebastian's dick, but no matter how many times he rolled his eyes he appreciated every time Kurt looked at him with worried eyes, even ignoring his own needs to see if he was okay. Sebastian had never had that. And, if anything, Kurt's whole contradictory nature only made Sebastian want him more.
He didn't want Kurt to feel insecure, he was already perfect enough, he didn't have to do anything else to please others. Nobody.
Especially not Blaine.
"You are ... a very good Dom Kurt." he said, leaving his comfort zone to look into Kurt's eyes, opening after spending a few moments closed. He swallowed, he hadn't thought much before saying it. He opened his mouth and hoped he wouldn't end up babbling. "I know I'm not the best judge, since I've only slept with subs but, I've met a lot of Doms in my life, some of whom subs throw themselves at their feet like they are some big deal, and I ... I wouldn't prefer to explore this side of me with anyone but you. "
Kurt's expression softened, his blue eyes fixing on Sebastian as a tiny smile appeared on his lips.
"And…"He sighed, forcing himself to continue. "You know, I've been thinking…" Kurt dropped his smile and blinked at him with big, attentive eyes. "And I made some research and I concluded that I— maybe, would like to… It would be good for me if I…"
"Yes, Sebastian?" Kurt prompted him.
"I— Perhaps I would like to experiment a little more, uh, with that part of myself…"
"Oh. You mean—"
"Yes." Sebastian cut him out. "And I hoped that, if you are okay with that, you could help me… since you are already helping me with this anyway."
"You're asking me to… Are you sure?"
"Yes." Sebastian said plainly. He frowned and H=he lowered his head a little, looking more embarrassed than angry. "I'm not an idiot, I realize it's not healthy, what I'm doing, I'd like you to help me, properly, not that you haven't been doing well until now." He said at gesture Kurt makes to the word, he didn't mean to make him feel bad. "You've done just what I needed until now. Thank you... for not asking me more than I could give, but now, yeah, I would like to see what it feels like, to know if it can be something for me or I can just, shelter myself in a Clinic every couple of years for the rest of my life. "
And god, the prospect sounded awful, he'd rather punch himself In the face, but he knew that if he couldn't deal with what he was that was the only way for him.
"Don't say that." Kurt told him. "That you don't like many aspects of a sadomasochistic relationship doesn't have to be bad, it's not common but... there are many couples who only have vanilla sex, you know, no whips, no gags, no painplay of any kind. Sebastian being a sub doesn't mean getting tied and whipped on a daily basis. "
"But you... you like that, don't you?" he asked. Blood seemed to crawl his way up to Kurt's face and even though he didn't look away he didn't give him an answer either. Sebastian supposed he didn't need one. "Thought so."
"That's not important, no one can tell you what to do, not unless you want them to." Sebastian looked, as if what Kurt was saying was too complex to assimilate at once. Kurt sighed. "And if at the end of the day you really don't want all this then be sure you'll find a dom that thinks like you and still can help you through your sickness. It may take a while but—"
"I still have you." Sebastian said, feeling deep in his bones that he was entering a dangerous zone. A point of no return.
"Yeah… sure you do." He felt Kurt's hand touching his and he let out a breath. "And if you want me to help you, I'll do it. And I know exactly where to start."
…
It takes 30 minutes on the Navigator for Kurt to get them where he wanted; an establishment of dubious nature on the outskirts of Columbus. Sebastian opened his eyes with surprise and, frankly, confusion. In front of them was a dark gray building with a large neon sign that said in big, gleaming letters "The White Crop" right on the highest part of the building, from where purple, pink and blue lights came out of huge lamps adorning every corner of the place, as well as the entrance, and several places around where people gathered in small groups and talked, many of them smoking and drinking beer cans.
"Let's go inside." Kurt said, smiling encouragingly at him and getting out of the car. Sebastian followed in his footsteps, still unsure and wearing a puckered frown on his face.
As they got closer and closer to the entrance Sebastian could not stop himself from seeing the people around him. It took him a while to realize the strange way in which most of them were dressed. This must be a kind of leather club, if the way his clients dressed meant anything.
Seeing a large bunch of people gathered at the entrance, he wasn't sure Kurt would have thought this very well. The expression of frustration on his face when he saw all the people told him he was right. "Umh Kurt? I don't think-"
"No, I- I'll fix it. Just wait here, alright?" He was going to complain and say there was no point in trying, seeing the three big guys guarding the entrance but Kurt didn't even give him time to talk when he was already ten feet away, walking towards the corpulent guards looking at him strangely. They wouldn't be here for a long time.
Just as he thought, Kurt is back in less than five minutes, but he is leading one of the guards, the redhead one, behind him.
"He'll let us in." Kurt says enthusiastically and grabs Sebastian's hand, starting to pull him through the crowd, the guard pulling away the people blocking their way. "Come on Seb, you aren't that lightweight," he suddenly realized he was shuffling almost refusing to move forward every time Kurt pulled his arm. He couldn't blame him, the place was intimidating, and feeling all those eyes on him as they passed with the guard in front of them, yes, it didn't help much.
When they are finally inside and the red-haired guard says goodbye to Kurt- without deigning to acknowledge Sebastian's existence, by the way- he explodes.
"What the fuck Kurt! Did you see that guy? What stupid lie did you tell him? You promised him a pound of steroids or what the-"
"Shut up," Kurt said calmly, but with a thick tone of voice. "I'm not an idiot."
"Then how-"
"A friend of mine worked here a while ago. I told them that I knew him and since they are great friends with him, they agreed to move us to the front of the line."
"Ah- oh,"
"Yes, oh!"
"I'm sorry, I- I do not know what happened to me,"
Just when Kurt narrowed his eyes at him a girl hit him slightly from behind. She apologized quickly, but only that little second gave Sebastian the ability to divert his attention from the boy in front of him. And God, that girl was wearing a leash. Like, a real lash, with a bell and a chain and another much older girl pulling the strap as if she were a dog.
"Hey why are you doing... that," and that was it, now Sebastian was looking in all directions. And it was not something he would've expected to see. Never.
The whole place, it was a... huge... dungeon.
Well, no. Not precisely. He had never heard of a dungeon with music, leather armchairs and waiters serving snacks. But the huge wall full of torture tools... yes, it wasn't so nice. And the half-naked men and women dancing on pedestals hanging from the ceiling weren't very common either. Not to mention the man sobbing loudly, tears running relentlessly down his cheeks as he was whipped with a cane on top of one of the main stages in the middle of the room.
Sebastian felt his chest shrink and his jaw fall open, this time in terror itself.
No no no no. No, he wanted to get out of here. Now. He didn't want to stay here one second more. Get out, get out, get out.
That crying. Please, someone had to help that boy. All these people, they couldn't be so cold.
Without knowing what was pushing him, if the terrible panic filling every cell of his body or the same stupidity that had let him be dragged here in the first place, he was moving to that place before realizing it, dodging all people to his step. He was further away than he seemed from it, but when he was close enough, a group of about ten or fifteen people didn't allow him to move forward. No matter what he did or what he said they just wouldn't move, seeing the blond man sobbing his body off like it was some kind of television show. He would like to say that it made him furious, but instead, it only made him fear more.
"Hey, sexy..." a male voice breathed into his ear. He turned around to face a tall, young man, of about 20 years old, with dark skin and curly hair looking him up and down "You up for a game, darling? I have my own private playroom for the night."
Sebastian swallowed, hard and thick, his breathing getting even more shallow as he started backing up until his body hit something, warm and firm and smelling of the latest Chanel perfume.
He sank himself into Kurt's neck, feeling the slightly lower man hug him around the waist.
"Sorry, he's taken." Kurt's throat vibrated on his cheek, even if the dom's tone was nothing but kind.
"No apologies, man. Tell your boy I didn't mean to scare him."
"It's okay. He's only nervous."
The heart hammering in Sebastian's chest said more than that.
"I told you to stay by my side." Kurt scolded him when the man was out of sight.
He vaguely remembered the words in the back of his mind, he wouldn't know, he was too busy looking at the dungeon he was in. Sebastian unhooked himself from the other man's body, just so he could look at him right in the eye.
"Kurt take me out of here. This place is repulsive. Please, please I swear I'll do anything- I "
"No." He had to admit, he hadn't expected such a strong response. He looked to the sides, only to check the man a few moments ago had really left.
"Please, I won´t give you any more troubles. Please Kurt, this place is… how can you want to be in a place like this?" he accused, not daring to go further, although it would have stressed his point, he was too terrified to be taken away from Kurt.
"Sebastian I need you to look at it—"
"No. It's sick." Change your mind, alright? It's okay just get me out of here," But Kurt didn't listen to him, instead forcing him to turn his body without letting go of his waist and so now was he who was hiding his face in Sebastian's neck, keeping him so tight to his body that he could feel the rhythm of his breathing on his neck.
"I'm not going to ask again, Sebastian. Look. Forward. Would you be good? Just this time?"
He doesn't answer anything, but he looks forward, to the madness that is happening right in front of his eyes.
"Look at the guy's face."
"I don't wanna-" Kurt bites the skin on his jaw, making Sebastian let out a small scream. "Ahh-ah, Ouch!" he said with indignation.
"Do it." He complied. He felt like he was going to vomit at the sight of so many tears; he had already lost count of how many times the woman had hit the cane against the boy's skin. It was totally red from the effort, if not the humiliation, or the pain, and he had his eyes closed to avoid more tears from coming out.
"Do you think he's really suffering?"
"Yeah!"
"Then maybe you'd want to look lower." Sebastian shook his head. He already knew how the man was looking down there, where the state of his arousal was visible for everyone to see. "No one is forcing him to be there, do you get that?"
"He's crazy! Just like everybody here!"
"Maybe. But concentrate. Tell me just how much is he suffering. "
Sebastian scowled. The man let out a howl in what seemed like a particularly intense blow "A lot."
"Are you sure?" Kurt let go of his waist and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, bringing them closer. Breathing into Sebastian's ear, he said, "Would you bet with me 'bout it?
More. More, please. Please, harder.
It was what the man's lips said, like a mantra, which he repeated over and over again, as each blow fell into place. Sebastian's eyes moved without his permission, where the man's huge erection was visible in his leather thong.
"No." he said, in spite of himself. Kurt rewarded him with small wet nibbles on his earlobe.
"Good boy."
Sebastian felt his lower body respond. He couldn't help it. The warmth of Kurt's mouth sent a hot tingle right to his dick.
Kurt made him watch as the man collapsed on the floor, forgetting his position on all fours. The woman, fully dressed in a leather leotard in contrast to her almost completely naked sub threw the cane of the stage, dropping herself on her knees and wrapping the blonde around her arms. He lost no time in returning the hug, letting the girl spread dry kisses all over his forehead, cheeks, chin, eyelids, and as the crowd that had been watching was dissipating he could see how she dried his tears with her fingers and letting the sub lie on her chest.
"Jackass," Sebastian said as an answer, he too letting his weight fall subconsciously a little into Kurt's, who was now kissing the space between his neck and his nape. Mmh, that felt good.
"Thank you, baby." he saw the lips of the woman pronounce underneath the music, kissing her sub tenderly on the mouth.
"Thank you, ma'am"
"Is that what torture looks like for you?" Kurt asked, letting his grip loosen so he could move.
"No," he admitted, immediately missing the heat surrounding his neck. "But it was- it didn't seem nice."
"Mmh, maybe you want to ask the victim, how horrible it was?" Sebastian frowned, returning his gaze to the stage to see the couple sharing a kiss worthy of a porn movie.
He moaned in surrender and Kurt smiled tenderly at him. "Okay, I thought it was too cruel too, the first time." Sebastian looked at him. "The first time I saw it, I mean. I came here with my friend, the one I told you used to work here, and some few more friends. "
That, in fact, made him feel better. Although he doubted any of them had tried to intervene in the show. Ugh.
He kind of wants to ask if Blaine had come, too. How had Blaine, the perfect sub, reacted to see something like that on stage and know that it could be him up there. Because it sure gave Sebastian shivers.
Which reminded him.
"Why did that guy automatically assume I was a sub?" He asked, back to his displeased mood. "Do I have the face of being a sub?"
Kurt laughed affectionately and Sebastian felt embarrassed to be so mouthy.
"You say it like it's an offense. You are a sub, Sebastian." He was not going to stick his tongue out, he would not do it now.
"That is not an answer."
"What do I know, maybe the fact that you were so nervous, or maybe the boy just flirts with everything that has legs. Would remind me of someone." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Now come with me, and do not get away from me this time or I swear I'll put a leash on you too."
Strangely that didn't sound so bad now. Not if it kept all these people away from him.
Kurt took him to a darker area, full of sofas and elegant chairs, with waiters every 5 meters and a lot of people dancing, half of them laughing at their horrible dance steps and the other half practically having public sex at the dance floor.
They walked away from the crowd, Kurt coming to sit on one of the black leather sofas that from his experience he suspected were Italian. He sat down on the chair next to him, waiting to call the waiter but Kurt pulled his hand as soon as he sat down, shaking his head.
"No. Here, I'll give you this," he said, placing one of the chair cushions on the floor. Sebastian looked at him in confusion. "Kneel," Kurt explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh," Around them, there were subs kneeling for their doms while they sat in chairs, couches, tables, even some did with their doms standing, except for those who seemed to be alone, who just sat alone, but in general he could say that not a single sub occupied a seat.
Now, that was segregationist.
He got off the couch, but hesitated before kneeling on the pillow. He had never knelt -Not to Kurt, nor anyone else- in public. Of course he knew that no one would care, he wouldn't be the only one who kneeling, after all. But anyway, the fear that someone here could recognize him and see... even if it was unlikely...
"Here, pet." Kurt said and he sank to his knees.
Pet? Since when Kurt called him…? Was that meant to be a kind of…? he wasn´t… not a pet, so…
But from the way Kurt was stroking his hair, he doubted it was meant to be something bad. Maybe, he would ask later.
He opened his eyes from his momentary trance when Kurt stopped his movements completely. A woman had sat in the place that Sebastian had previously occupied, but unlike all the other people - and like them - she was not wearing any leather, just a black elegant velvet outfit.
"I hope you're having a good night," she said addressing Kurt. "I see you are new. My name is Vera, I'm one of the administrators, I just wanted to inform you about some of our attractions, like the chamber, the dance floor in the basement, there's also a restaurant on the same floor if you want something, and of course-"
"Oh don't worry, I've been here before, I know everything very well," Kurt stopped the endless chatter of the woman, which was great, because he knew how long these conversations normally took.
"Oh, excellent, but you don't have a subscription?"
"No. It's not like I come very often, but I'll consider it, thank you."
Understanding the hint, the woman nodded. "You have an adorable sub, I must congratulate you."
Sebastian frowned. He was right there. What was going on with these people? All night long he had only been directed two words from that boy who wanted to take him to- whatever it was called. He didn't know why everyone kept acting as if he wasn't t there or like- like...
"Thanks," Kurt said simply.
"Very handsome, you're lucky."
"I know, thanks." The hand in his hair started to move again, and Sebastian seemed to melt into that. I know. He almost purred.
Frankly, he didn't know anymore if the woman was still there or if she had finally left, the hand in his hair felt way too good, almost as good as the kisses Kurt had given him a few minutes before. Mmh he wouldn't mind coming back here if they could do this every day...
On his right side, Sebastian caught sight of a sub kneeling for his dom, the girl sleepily leaning on the man, letting her head fall against his legs as he wrote something on his phone, but always with one hand rubbing her back. Sebastian was beginning to feel drowsy, too...
Maybe Kurt wouldn't mind... they were friends now, weren't they?
He leaned forward and saw that there was a different woman talking to Kurt, but it didn't matter, he let himself fall against his legs, his head moving to rub his nose against the soft fabric of his pants. Huh, it was a comfortable place, there, on his knees, his head resting on Kurt's legs. He shuddered.
Kurt started stroking his hair in a different way, then. Combing his hair from top to bottom of his nape. It didn't bother him, he couldn't look more strange than these people. He opened his eyes a little and saw the girl on his right smile empathically at him in secret.
"Flirting, are you?" Kurt asked amused.
"What?" Sebastian raised his head, only slightly, seeing Kurt from below. He pointed to the girl.
"Nothing." Kurt chuckled. "Maybe you want to take a walk? Know the place?" If he was going to be sincere he preferred a thousand times to stay where he was, but he wanted to see what else he could get out of obeying Kurt, for a change.
"Okay," Like a gentleman. -he rolled his eyes, twice- Kurt helped him stand up and reminded him not to leave his side, starting to walk in a straight line.
It took him to a somewhat strange part of the place. There were several couples leaning on the edge of what appeared to be a rectangular bar about ten or twelve meters long and a meter high, the colored lights decorating it changing every few seconds. It seemed strange to him, especially when he noticed the way that most of the couples there were looking at each other, as if they were completely hypnotized, either by the other or by the bar. It made more sense when they got closer, then it was pretty obvious that the bar was actually some kind of aesthetic railing that surrounded a hole in the floor that left what was happening on basement available for all to see.
Down there were a lot of people, some contemplating another of the club's shows; a girl hanging from the ceiling by the legs and hips the way they do at the circus sometimes, another girl rising up on her toes to kiss her. It reminded him a bit of that scene in the Spiderman, only that here it actually looked romantic and not ridiculous. And if Sebastian was saying that about two girls kissing... ew. He was already reconsidering it.
Most people were dancing, though, couples swaying at a slow pace under artificial lights of muted colors, some of them sharing kisses, hugs and talking in each other's ears. It was the pure image of romanticism.
"What, upstairs is the sex club and the basement the love club? What twisted mind thought all of this?"
Kurt was smiling, although Sebastian doubted that he'd found that last comment very funny.
"Do you want to go down to the restaurant?" Kurt asked instead. "I remember they make really good crepes."
Sebastian shakes his head, almost incredulous. Although he wonders what aspects of sadomasochism would be involved in a restaurant serving crepes. "No, thanks, maybe something to drink though, my throat is suddenly dry."
"Sure, I'll bring some." Kurt said, turning around, but stopping and retracing his steps to face Sebastian. "And don't go anywhere. Stay here. And if someone wants to talk to you, don't look them in the eye. They will go away." He nods and Kurt walks away. He just stares at the couples dancing in the basement while he waits for Kurt.
After a few minutes it started to get boring, though. All these couples smooching and making such a sinister place seem totally cheesy while he's there standing alone with himself is not very nice.
He snorted a little to himself. He didn't understand how it is that he ended up in this place, he precisely, that had never wanted to know anything about any of this, in a sadomasochism club! Absurd!. If only his family could see him now. It would at least get him rid of a couple of those awkward weekly phone calls.
He had to admit, this place was... something else. Maybe because although doms and subs get bound all the time, it's not so common to see them exhibit this type of behavior in public. Although... it's not like Sebastian knew a lot about the real world, neither... That is, since he was almost a baby he has attending day care centers for more than 12 hours, and his short stay at Heritage Middle School, the only public school he'd attended, hadn't gone very well. Direct to a boarding school in France for boys right after that had been like coming back to the same routine, but with a little more of freedom. There Sebastian had learned that it wasn't necessary to be a dom to pretend to be one, and getting anonymous sex was just one of the perks of it.
Being back in Westerville had not affected him as much as he had wanted to make his parents think. It was just more of the same; spend day and night in Dalton and take a couple of getaways over the weekend. That, until his stupid sickness had shown up to ruin everything.
"Hey, you. You, the cute one." A chill ran down Sebastian's back when he saw the man behind him. He had black shoulder-length hair, no shirt on, and the leather of his pants left nothing to the imagination. He wasn't sure if he was imagining things but he thought the man was wearing eyeliner...
Oh, damn.
As soon as he realized it, Sebastian lowered his eyes to his feet.
Yes, the guy was handsome and yes, those pants were a temptation. But he was a Dom, and the only Dom Sebastian could tolerate talking to lately was Kurt.
Kurt, whose boots he could see walking towards him.
"Sorry," he heard a voice say sincerely and then there was a finger on his chin, raising his head.
"Wow, I didn't think you'd listen to me." Was the first thing he said when Sebastian met his eyes.
He couldn't help frowning. "Why? Is it so surprising that I can follow an instruction?"
"No, but I wouldn't be too willing to turn down an offer like that either," he laughed, almost cheerfully. Sebastian didn't understand why that sentence bothered him so much.
"He's a dom," he said as an explanation, turning around to lean again against the wall again. Kurt stopped laughing at that. Sebastian hoped he hadn't noticed the touch of bitterness in his voice.
"I guess you have plenty of options; first the guy from the showroom and now that guy. No wonder why you like to go party," Kurt's tone was tense. Neither of them spoke for a while, looking towards the dance floor on the basement floor until a waiter brought a couple of drinks and handed them to Kurt. Sebastian was already growing accustomed to being ignored.
Kurt handed him his drink and got back to look down at the people dancing. Sebastian searched for something to say when he felt the silence had dragged on for too long.
"No alcohol?" he asked, after taking an experimental sip of the blue drink in his glass.
"Hm?" Kurt muttered, still distracted by his own thoughts.
"The drinks, do they have no alcohol?" he asked again.
"Oh- Oh no, nothing here is served with alcohol. It's part of the requirements to be here. You have to be completely sober. Nobody should drink if they're going to be part of a scene later." he explained.
"I saw some people drinking on the parking lot, I don't think they're exactly 'sober'."
"Well, they can't control what's going on outside these walls, can they? But, they make a good effort." Sebastian nodded. Kurt then leaned a little closer to him and whispered near his ear. "There's a guy behind you who keeps looking at you, blond, green eyes, a horrible shirt. It looks like your type."
Sebastian looked back and turned his head, the annoyance in his voice was much more noticeable now than it had been before. "Dom, remember? Doms are not my type! Besides, that hair?" Justin Bieber is so not my type, and besides, why everyone here keeps assuming I'm the sub?"
"You are."
"Still!"
That makes Kurt smile. "Probably because of how nervous you are... Hey, the first time I came I was like fresh meat for a pack of lions,"
"Braggart," the younger man rolled his eyes.
"There's nothing to brag about; they were all doms. In fact, I had to ask myself the same question as you several times."
"Well, obviously you have overcome that, those fools, clumsy and repressed subs have not stopped looking at you since you arrived." Kurt frowned then. Was he really so blind?
"That's not true," he said, his scowl still present.
"Yeah, sure," Kurt seemed to want to continue protesting but Sebastian changed the subject before he could say anything else. "I'm getting bored watching these freaks grinding at each other anyway. What? I'm supposed to be either doing this or seeing some dude get whipped?"
"You want to see the orgies room?" Sebastian choked with his drink, coughing audibly when the liquid slid down a painful place in his throat. Kurt came to help him, taking the glass out of his hand and giving small blows to his back.
"Are you serious?" He asked, strangling himself with his own voice. Kurt chuckled softly on his cheek but he could tell that he felt at least a little guilty for having caused that reaction in Sebastian.
"No, of course not. Though the bathroom seems very like it." He added as a joke. Sebastian abruptly pulled away from him, puckering his nose in a way that he could not help when angry and embarrassed, and raising his voice more than necessary.
"Why are you making fun of me? I'm done!" Kurt caught him by the waist when he passed by his side to try to make his dramatic exit from the place. Sebastian twisted in his embrace and even bit him on the shoulder trying to break free, which he knew quite childlike, by the way.
"Stop!" Kurt said and when Sebastian ignored him Kurt abruptly slapped him right on his left ass cheek.
Sebastian stopped in his movements to scream in surprise and the ephemeral pain in his backside. "Ow! That hurt!"
No, it did not.
"I said stop," Kurt repeated and Sebastian found himself unable to move in his current position. "Come on, be good,"
"No! I don't want to!"
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, allowing him to turn around and grabbing Sebastian by both sides of his neck to force him to look at him. "I'm sorry."
Not daring to argue anymore, Sebastian looked at the floor, wishing they were in his small room at Dalton, Kurt having Sebastian tell him about his day and tying his hands as if that was all his sickness might need when it was more than obvious that it was not.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Kurt muttered, his face just a few inches from Sebastian's.
"Can we go back now?" he asked, realizing how hot and uncomfortable he felt in his belly.
Kurt frowned, removing both hands from Sebastian's neck and moving them until they were resting on the lower part of his back, taking slow steps forward, making him walk backwards. "Why?"
"I- what are you doing?"
"Let's go dance, maybe it can help your bad mood," Kurt teased.
"I'm entitled to a bad mood! Do you know how much I've slept the last three days?" he inquired, eyes landing on Kurt's smarty smirk. Okay, fuck it. Only Sebastian could smirk like that, Kurt was not allowed to look that hot.
Suddenly Sebastian's ears were overflow with the shrill music of the place. He looked around to realize they had returned to the dance floor from before. He wanted to say no, he definitely preferred to be in his bed, talking quietly with his hands tied over his head, as bored as that seemed to his hormones in constant motion. But then, Kurt's forehead leaned into his and he sighed.
"Promise you I'll let you sleep all you want after we've left." He smiled, closing his eyes and breathing calmly practically on Sebastian's mouth, he could perfectly taste the flavor of Kurt's breath in his mouth. Yes, he could remember it pretty damn good too; warm, wet, delicious…
No matter how tired he was, the least Sebastian wanted from Kurt was for him to let him sleep.
The hand on his back brings them even closer until his belly and Kurt's are touched, their feet are almost tangled together as they move in a slow rhythm and Sebastian try to forget the way their cocks are pretty much touching but his body wasn't cooperating. He stops moving, ready to tell Kurt that he wants to go but his action provokes Kurt's leg to push between his own when he does move. Sebastian groans, his dick giving a strong spasm at the sudden and lovely pressure. He bites his tongue and hopes it hadn't been too obvious but he knows that with their bodies pressed in that way having any hope of it was useless.
He expects Kurt to stop moving, to get all embarrassed and shy and say that maybe Sebastian was right, that they should go; Sebastian needed to sleep, get better, Kurt'll see him next week, but he didn't say any of that. They looked at each other. Then they started moving again.
Kurt's face is now in the space between his head and his shoulder. Sebastian can feel his breath on his ear. The music is not particularly slow but it's as if either Kurt doesn't notice or just don't care. His body guides him so Sebastian doesn't need to think in order to move in sync with him. It's warm and comforting and, precisely when he was letting it go, he felt a long lick on his neck.
Sebastian squirmed, the hand on his back bringing them together again as Kurt's tongue got back to work. "Kurt?" Sebastian asked, suppressing a sound as he felt Kurt's teeth sank into his skin.
"You smell… confusing." The dom said and okay perhaps that drink did have something because that definitely sounded drunk. "Bad."
That wasn't much better.
"I hate the smell of cigarette."
Oh. Well, that made more sense. Sebastian probably reeked 24/7. It's not as if he didn't know, he hasn't given up smoking in all this time since his sickness started. He smoked at least three or four cigarettes every mealtime, if not more. It was what hide the smell... or change it, was more like it. He had made sure all his clothes were impregnated with it and though it was kind of gross, it worked good enough.
"It looks like you trynna eat it though," Sebastian meant to sound cocky but his voice faltered when Kurt bite him hard on his shoulder and Sebastian moaned involuntarily when he feels Kurt's cock shake against his thigh.
He doesn't know why a feeling of pride suddenly fills him in the awareness. Of course Kurt is getting hard. He's gay, he's chest to chest dancing a little too tight with a man in a sadomasochistic club, what Dom of eighteen years wouldn't be hard? Even so, knowing that it was he, he, and not any other stupid sub, the one that was provoking this reaction in him made an inexplicable satisfaction that had nothing to do with his cock spread throughout his body.
He had to hold himself back not to start rutting against Kurt's leg at the mere feeling of it. It felt so good, after every time Kurt had rejected him, having his hands and body and tongue on him. Kurt wanted him. He knew it. Rationally, when he wasn't feeling like a piece of shit he knew it. Maybe if they weren't in this situation, if Sebastian was a little less of an asshole, if only Kurt would take him farther, he could do so many things. Kurt made Sebastian want to prove he was worthy, he could make an effort, and fuck he could make Kurt come so hard...
God I'm so horny right now.
Just as the thought stormed into his head he realized that despite his attempts he hadn't been able to suppress his wishes because, not exactly surprisingly, he was pressing a little too tight to Kurt' crotch, searching for all the friction he could get and panting when he noticed Kurt not only wasn't moving away but was complying with the movement, almost hitting Sebastian with his hips.
Sebastian almost slipped in surprise. Was Kurt really- Fuck, he moaned again when Kurt moved them sharply, causing one of his knees to rub against Sebastian's cock.
"You like that?" Kurt's soft voice asked, his nose brushing the back of his neck. One of his hands had to climb up his back to hold Sebastian from his shoulder blades so he wouldn't slip from his arms.
"I-I don't- I didn't, you- I mean, I didn't know you could be so..."
"Dominant?" Kurt provided, he didn't look happy at his own insinuation but he didn't seem particularly annoyed either.
"Sexually unworried, um on public places," he corrected as best he could. Kurt seemed to like this answer better. He spoke almost on Sebastian's lips, the skin on the back of his neck was completely prickled. He could almost feel the moisture of Kurt's mouth on his...
"Oh yes, how did you called me? Uptight?" Kurt did the knee thing again, but Sebastian refrained from moaning in the mix of slight pain and pleasure, having been more prepared for it this time.
"I... was just... am... sorry?" He stammered, all the words echoing in his head. He saw the playful smile breaking through on Kurt's face. If Sebastian didn't know whether or not Kurt knew how he was affecting him, that was very clear by then.
"Are you?" Kurt's nose brushed his, still smiling, talking over his lips. He didn't know if he was supposed to answer or not but before he had to make that decision Kurt's mouth was on his, warm and wet and everything he remembered. Sebastian couldn't respond very well in the first seconds, but once he got what was happening
and his body stopped feeling like a rag doll, he began to move in response. He opened his mouth to let Kurt's tongue in, so Kurt would stop pushing between his lips as if he had to keep them open by himself, his tongue immediately beginning to explore in Sebastian's mouth as the totally new experience it was. Sebastian let him, it felt very good, if a little messy and wet for all the saliva.
It was not at all like the first kiss they'd shared. It'd been nice, just lips touching and the new taste of the other's mouth. This, without a doubt was... more intense; lips, tongue, and even teeth involved.
Kurt's tongue was pushing up on Sebastian's mouth, kissing him slow and slippery and way dirtier than what was acceptable in public. Sebastian loves it. He sucks greedily at Kurt's lips and tongue and lets Kurt bite and lick and suck all he wants. Sebastian really doubts that what they're doing is considering dancing anymore, with their hips rolling up and down again and again.
And the thing is, Sebastian doesn't see Fireworks when he kissed Kurt. For Sebastian, it is as if his whole brain turned off, he was just a pile of desire and need and the only thing in his mind was Kurt.
For a few moments while Kurt kept trying to taste every corner of Sebastian's mouth, one of his neurons seemed to rebel at this, seriously making him wonder if indeed those drinks had had nothing in them. He felt rather drunk in fact, and Kurt himself seemed to be, drunk, and wild, rough, and so, so hot.
But Kurt had been like that before, a couple of times, and he had certainly felt that way before, too.
His thoughts were thrown out a window when he felt Kurt biting his lower lip out. Hard.
"You're feeling better?" Kurt muttered once that he had released the now sensitive skin of his lip.
"Don't... shit with me," he said stupidly and well maybe he was drunk after all. Kurt seemed pleased with the answer because he resumed kissing down Sebastian's jaw and down on his neck. It felt good, really, really good, but he wanted to go back to his mouth, he'd barely had time to explore on his own. "Kisme," he said and Kurt laughed, but it didn't feel like mockery, just playful.
He gasped when Kurt began to suck on the same spot on his neck. Fuck, he was going to leave a mark. Sebastian had never felt so good about having someone do this to him, in fact, he had always detested when someone tried to mark his skin, as if he was some kind of prize, as if his body was the toy in which someone puts their name so that nobody else takes it. The skin hurt and Sebastian stopped moving when he thought about all that, then Kurt licked the wound tenderly, his tongue warm against Sebastian's neck. And Sebastian must have been an idiot all his life because this was awesome.
"Do you want that?"
"Yes," it came out like a gasp between his lips. He didn't even know what he meant anymore, he just wanted it, anything, anything Kurt would give him.
"How much?" Kurt asked and Sebastian started to feel the movement of Kurt's fingers under his shirt, caressing the skin on his belly.
"I- I really, really do," he managed to answer and one of Kurt's fingers sank into the space between his skin and his belt, seeking to reach below. Sebastian was soon becoming a desperate mess.
"Enough to beg for it?" Kurt all but purred.
Oh, crap. That bast- Oh my god does that feel good...
"Bas… time´s up,"
Sebastian inhales a great amount of air. Okay, he can do this; it is what he wants after all, he can ask for what he wants.
"P-Please..." he said, still unsure. "Please, Kurt... would you- ah"
Kurt interrupts him, tilting his head like he was considering a big problem. "Mh, you don´t seem to want it as much as I thought. Pity. We should stop now, I don't want to do something you're not completely up with"
"No! I do! I- promise," Fuck the pride, that shit won't get him an orgasm. "Please, please I want it, I want it so bad, It's all I can think of, please touch me, kiss me, please, please-"
He couldn't continue because Kurt was on him again, kissing him like the world would be over at the next minute, his hips doing a sinful dance against Sebastian's. He couldn't form a word, he was too shocked, too turned on and too full with Kurt's tongue to even bother trying.
"Someone got a reward," Kurt muttered when he separated for a moment to get air. Reward hm? That sounded good. Sebastian returned to kiss Kurt but the other man wouldn't let him take it too far, it had barely been a couple of minutes when he pulled away again.
"Kurt—"
"Let´s get out of here," Kurt says, his voice low and heavy against Sebastian's ear.
Before he can even process the words Kurt grabs him by the shirt, dragging him a little too rough all over the place, stopping two or three times to kiss him again on the way.
They were out of the building in a short time and even when they were outside Kurt kept dragging him energetically all the way through the parking lot, none of the people crowded outside the place watching them strangely when he came out being pulled by the other guy as if he weighed a feather, making him stumble more than once.
He didn't know why that made him feel so good; none of them looked at them as freaks, here he wasn't weird, he wasn't wrong, he wasn' a mistake of nature. It was like the first time he'd been in a gay bar, but it was even better, now he wasn't trying to fake anything, he just had to let go, to let Kurt drag him, letting him take control.
It was like a fucking drug.
When they finally reached the spot where the navigator was parked Kurt gave a strong pull of his arm and Sebastian crashed into the cold steel, trembling slightly. Kurt didn't give him enough time to lament it, though. He lunged at him even more fiercely than he had on the dance floor, his lips were cold when he kissed him and Sebastian took it upon himself to warm them up fairly quickly. The hands of the dom grabbed his hips and he stuck them to his body as if they could merge into one. He could feel Kurt's hardness through the fabric of his pants.
"Do you need help?" Good Lord, yes. "To get in, Sebastian" Kurt added a moment later with a sly laugh.
To… oh. Sebastian looked at the now-open door of Kurt's car and was sure that a little color was rising to his face. But that was not what caught his attention more at that moment. That was the door to the back seat.
He didn't have to think twice before falling into the black leather seat and Kurt didn't make him wait as he moved astride above him, closing the door with an agile movement of his foot. Suddenly he was being kissed and touched everywhere, the atmosphere became hot and heavy as the seconds passed, and Kurt's weight made it a little difficult for him to breathe in this position. Kurt realized after he had begun to breathe superficially, and leaned on his legs, leaving Sebastian's mouth to follow his jaw, his neck, the base of his ear, his clavicle...
Then he felt Kurt's hands trying to unbuckle his belt and the babbles of yes, yes, oh fuck yes they kept coming out of his mouth, Kurt must have liked it because he rushed his hands, more confidence in his movements than he had before. He had this look in his eyes, condescending and confident and even a little bit arrogant.
He wanted to see those eyes from between Kurt's legs.
The dom's lips fell on his, just pressing their mouth together as his hands opened Sebastian's pants and reached inside.
Sebastian almost came in his pants right there.
"Shhh," Kurt said, pulling away and putting a hand over his mouth before giving him a peck. "You're being too loud."
Sebastian groaned, his hips rising off the leather surface in his excitement and need. "Fuck it! Just touch me already!" he didn't know where that came from. He froze, ready to apologize, when he heard Kurt laugh. Even in the darkness of the car Sebastian could see his teeth sticking out from between his lips and the sound was the most cheerful he'd ever heard him do. He smiled, glad he hadn't ruined the moment, and contrary to all his assumptions Kurt bent down to kiss him properly this time, at the same time that Sebastian felt the hot fingers wrap his cock.
Holy fucking shit.
"Fuuuccck! Fuch, fuck, fuck damn fuck—"
"I love how eloquent you are," Kurt said with a smile, lowering his head to nibble a spot on his collarbone.
He still was being too loud, and he knew there were lots of people outside, and though Kurt was still trying to hush him, instead of fearing the possibility of getting caught he was getting a shameful thrill out of it.
"Faster, oh fuck faster" Somewhere in his mind something told him he wasn't supposed to demand anything, much less give orders, but he couldn't help it. He took his hands from Kurt's arms and moved them as low as he could, groping for something more to hold onto and moaning as the hand on his cock moved faster.
"Do you mind if I..." Kurt started, looking at Sebastian as something new and bright, but stopping before finishing the sentence, gazing into his eyes.
"If you... what?" he asked, anxious. The lunges on his cock slowing down now. At first he thought it was a game, one of those that Kurt usually does to calm the hormones of his sickness but when he didn't say anything in return he knew it was over.
No. No, no, no, no…
The car door opened and Kurt got out. Sebastian remained there, watching static as Kurt slipped out of his hands, there collapsed in the leather seat, scolding himself for thinking even for a second that Kurt Hummel would let this go on. It was so ridiculous now that he almost wanted to hit himself.
Kurt stayed outside for a long time, leaning over the driver's door. When he turned around he looked at Sebastian from above and smiled briefly at him before closing the back door and getting into the driver's seat, turning on the car as soon as he was up.
He looked at him through the rearview mirror. "Relax okay? We'll be at Dalton before you know it."
His cock completely forgotten by then, Sebastian looked at the roof of the car, wishing he could do something to fix the mess he was.