Ah, the bane of fanfiction: life gets in the way of writing it.
The bane of diagnosed anxiety as a writer: worrying about your followers and disappointing them.
Certainly, the bane of all my followers: waiting for me to update.
*bows so aggressively, my face breaks through the floor*
I'm good, though; thanks to my lovely new anti-depressant to punch my anxiety in the neck, I feel way more motivated, so maybe chapters will ACTUALLY get written now :3
My lack of time skills are ingrained in my personality, however :3
But, I doubt y'all come back to listen to me and mine; let's get on with the fluff X3
~~~
Allen was actually beginning to become worried, in all honesty.
His master was unsettled over something; what, Allen couldn't fathom.
But, whatever it was, it had caused him to remain seated for the past hour, possibly more, deep in thought, his face showing equal parts annoyed and -was it?- disturbed, the full glass of wine on the table beside him untouched.
Allen had seen this man laugh at death threats from unGodly creatures Hellbent on their maker's wishes of destroying humanity as they knew it; had seen him use just as unGodly methods to destroy them; knew that Cross Marian took life in seemingly carefree, very often simply rolling with what was thrown at him...
...and here he sat, looking as though Hell itself had opened in front of him...
On that thought, Allen decided there was very little of the annoyance and very, VERY much of the disturbed...
Allen decided to break the quiet and stillness of the room; he spoke softly, just loud enough for his master to hear.
'Master, is something wrong?'
Cross snapped his attention to Allen and stiffened, a streak of panic flashing on his face, but relaxed after a moment with a heavy sigh and his hand covering his face.
Allen was shocked when his voice came out...tired. 'No, nothing's...wrong...'
Allen had gotten bold; Cross had become gradually nice and caring with him, parental and truly guiding, even, and with that, Allen had lost some of the fear of speaking out of turn.
Allen quirked an eyebrow. 'You've been awfully distraught over there, if that's true.'
He expected some sarcastic reply, some 'no one asked you, Idiot', or the like, but he didn't get it. No, what he got confirmed his suspicion; Cross bit his lip and turned away, somehow retaining an elegant posture while squirming uncomfortably.
His usually charismatic and quick with words master was stumbling over words, Allen couldn't even make anything out from how quiet he was being, and wringing his hands fretfully; Allen wasn't even sure this was real, it was so surreal.
Cross took a few deep breaths and composed himself, much to Allen's relief; when he turned to properly answer Allen, the look on his face was one Allen had rarely seen on him: true anger. He'd seen it enough to know what it meant from his master, though: there was something that, in Cross' moral compass, or what little bit of a moral compass there was, Allen supposed, was truly disagreeable and disgusting.
'...I've said I hate the Order before, yeah?'
Allen nodded thoughtfully; having never been there, he wasn't sure why. Master had at least a few nice stories about when he was there...
Cross propped an arm on the table and buried his head in his hand; he gave a humorless laugh.
'...I hate that place...'
Allen's feet carried him cautiously to his master's side, laying a hand on the chair arm as he drew near.
It was short lived, though, as Allen found himself pressed to Cross in a protective hug. He returned it without a second thought.
'We have to go there, soon.'
Despite the previous display, Allen felt a twinge of excitement; he'd meet more exorcists, he'd have things in common with people for once!
He was reminded of his master's unease when the hug tightened as he continued.
'...I'm not very happy I'm taking you there.'
Allen looked up into his face, his question evident on his features.
Cross allowed Allen to slip out of the embrace as he answered. 'The science department is worse than Hell, if you get caught up in it...' He leaned back, apparently completely back in control of his composure, and brought the remembered glass of wine to his lips.
'...I'll be damned before I let them poke an' prod at you...' It was mumbled into the glass, but Allen heard it and decided to let it be. He was confused enough for one day, still somewhat stuck on the peculiarity of his master's earlier behavior and what it meant...
But, whatever it meant, his master would keep him safe, that, he knew.
~~~
Bit of a dark chapter...
But then, the Order is a dark place with dark secrets, and I like to think Cross disapproved of all the tortury things that the science department did/does... I think that's the reason he seems to trust and respect Komui, Komui put a stop to it where he could and respects the lives lost as they should be...
I've always sort of thought Cross to get anxious if he thinks about that part of his past too much...
Headcanons aside, so, I think Allen being 13-14 works better in this chapter, he's more astute when it comes to Cross' emotions...
A guest reviewer suggested a visit to the Order, and this spawned. Well, it gives some insight and connections to why Cross dislikes being at the Order, so...
And the lack of Timcanpy is him giving the Order a heads up they're coming, I suppose :3
I can't thank you all enough for baring with me and my utter lack of timing, and keeping with this; all the reviews, follows, favorites, and reads really mean a lot to me :3
Love you all, my Lovelies~!