"Harry! What in the name of Merlin?!" Hermione skidded to a halt.

Harry stopped in his tracks as soon as he and Hermione had locked eyes. "Hermione?!" His eyes shifted to the five silver flowers on her forehead. "Great, the bloody ferret struck you too, didn't he?"

Hermione huffed. She clenched her fists and tried to ignore the image of a bloody, nude Draco that flashed in her mind at the sound the words "bloody ferret."

"Don't mention anything about him," snapped Hermione, looking at the ground and pressing her palms against her temples. "It's a major struggle to keep him off my mind."

Harry rubbed the side of his scar, where three silver flowers were growing. "Ugh, tell me about it. I feel so helpless and…dirty. As soon as Pansy stripped off her clothes in front of Draco, I found myself tackling her and beating her up…next thing I know, I'm chasing her in her undergarments down this sidewalk."

Hermione shook her head with a look of desperation in her eyes. "This is horrible."

"I know, I can't have my brain working this way. Especially since Ginny and I just got back from our honeymoon!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I can't have my brain is working this way, especially since Ron and I just got engaged. How am I supposed to be a good fiancé now?"

Harry was rubbing his temples. "How am I supposed to be a good husband if I got that…that…deliciously scandalous Slytherin prince on my mind…."

Hermione flinched. She smacked Harry's cheek. "Harry! How dare you….that delicious Slytherin prince is…MINE."

Her urge to scold Harry instantly transformed into the urge to tackle him, to fight him to the death for that silver-eyed pureblood.

Harry instantly shoved Hermione against the wall, making her dizzy from the impact. "Malfoy is MINE, you mudblood. MINE."

Hermione's hands were suddenly wrapped around Harry's throat. The young man started gagging and loosening his grip on Hermione. "Don't you DARE call me a mudblood. Only my sexy, silver-eyed Slytherin smut-partner can call me that."

"That's right, Potter! How dare you copy me!" A drawling voice immediately made Hermione release Harry's neck and spin around to face Draco, who was walking up to her with…that seductive smirk on his face. Behind him were Blaise and Galvin.

"M-Malfoy…" Hermione was about spat a mouthful of insults, but she cut herself off as soon as she realized that there was a purple cobra wrapped around the top of Draco's shoulders. The tail-tip of the cobra was formed like a three-pronged trident, as well as the tongue of the cobra that continued to slip in and out of its mouth. "Wh-why do you have a Cobrazor? Draco, that's dangerous, that thing can give you Black Bile!"

"Aw, concerned about my health, Granger?" Draco raised his eyebrows. He stroked his hand across the Cobrazor's purple, scaly body. "This here is Forktongue. He's my new pet, and he's gonna protect me from all the other Cobrazors roaming out there."

Harry, who was lying on his side at Hermione's feet, gasping for air, looked up and straightened his glasses. "What do you mean? I'm supposed to be your guardian! I can protect you from all those monsters and sexual predators out there!" Harry then shook his head rapidly, cursing at himself for spitting out those words.

Draco, Blaise, and Galvin all started laughing. Even Forktongue seemed to be humored, for the snake raised his head and stuck out his tongue. The two flaps around its neck spread out and rattled, revealing a silver flower at the center of each flap.

"Oh my goodness!" Hermione jumped back, feeling her head throb with both shock and rage again. "Y-you struck the snake with Bedazzlebuds?!"

Galvin stepped forward, a wily grin on his face. "Don't get too jealous, Hermie. When Bedazzlebuds are transformed from human to animal, or vice versa, the target that was struck with the Bedazzlebuds will feel a strong, nonsexual bond with the original bearer of the Bedazzlebuds. So in other words, Forktongue will only feel attached, protective, and inseparable from Draco, without any sexual feelings involved."

Blaise crossed his arms, looking proud. "And that snake will literally do anything Draco tells it. Which is why I can stand here without getting attacked, even though I'm a pureblood."

Harry was breathing heavily. "Well, I'm glad to hear that Draco and his snake won't be fucking each other. But that doesn't change the fact that some creature other than myself is on your shoulders..."

"You're pathetic, Potterhead, feeling jealous of a snake," Draco winked at him. "I'd love to see you try and fight my Cobrazor and get ripped to pieces."

Blaise chimed in. "Hah! I bet the mudblood would destroy him first!"

"Damn right I would," Hermione lunged at Harry, but ended up grabbing his butt as Harry jumped up to lash at Forktongue.

Instantly, Forktongue opened his mouth wide, revealing a mouthful of fangs. His razor-sharp tongue punctured Harry, causing the young man to go limp and unconscious.

"Aw, damn," Galvin rolled his eyes. "Looks like Potterhead is gonna be spending time at our hospital."

Blaise looked at the orange-haired man. "I thought Cobrazors will only infect Black Bile into purebloods like Draco and myself? Do they affect half-bloods to some extent?"

"Half-bloods will get Black Bile, but they won't get full-blown Black Bile Syndrome," explained Galvin with a yawn.

Blaise blinked at him. "Okay, so what does that mean?"

Draco rolled his eyes and turned to his friend. "It means half-bloods like Potterhead will have their blood turn black and thick as tar, but it won't rapidly start spilling from his nose, ears, mouth, and ass."

"Aww," Blaise whined. "I wanted to see some black gunk leaking from Potter's ass."

Hermione was breathing hard, trying to force herself not to say what she was about to say. Unfortunately, the Bedazzlebuds in her flowers and blood made her impulses get the best of her. "Well, there won't be any room for black stuff to come out of his ass, because there's be way too much blood leaking from there after I get through with him."

She was just about to tackle him, but a twister of white dust and pollen swirled around Harry's body and lifted him up in the air. Hermione and the guys looked up to see Penny hovering in the air. The white dust was spiraling out of her mouth and butterfly-winged ears. The Yapillon fluttered away, with Harry's unconscious body hovering after her in the spiraling white dust.

Hermione saw Lexa in the distance, behind Draco, Galvin, and Blaise. Merlin, she had forgotten all about the girl.

"Sorry, Hermione!" Lexa called. "I'll restore Harry back to health and then meet up with you again tomorrow to get Pokey!"

Galvin looked over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. He winked at his sister. "I'd like to see you try and convince Pokey to listen to a psycho like you."

"SHUT UP, GALVIN!" Screamed Lexa. Though she was quite a distance down the sidewalk, her loud, high-pitched voice still made Hermione, Blaise, and Draco flinch. "YOU'RE THE PSYCHO! YOU DESERVE TO BE FIRED AND GET BLACK BILE AND LEFT TO ROT IN COBRAZOR SHIT!" She pointed toward Galvin, looked up at Penny, and started babbling something in a foreign language that Hermione couldn't comprehend. But it was a language that Hermione had seen the Barksons use when speaking to their Yapillons, so Penny got the message. Penny turned and yapped in Galvin's direction, releasing a shot of something green and shiny her mouth and ears.

Galvin yelled and pushed Hermione out of the way. "AHHH, run, you guys! Explodew!"

But the green, shiny substance—Explodew—landed on the ground where Galvin had been standing, and instantly, the substance exploded. Green goo splattered everywhere, sending Hermione, Draco, Galvin, and Blaise flying in different directions, far across the street. Except Hermione and Draco (with Forktongue still wrapped around Draco's shoulders) had flown together, crashing into a dumpster and a crowd of trash cans.

A loud hiss sounded, and Hermione saw that Forktongue was spatting some black goo out of his mouth, hissing and spitting with anger.

"Shh, shh, calm down, Forktongue," Draco tried to soothe his snake.

Hermione glared at both of them. "You filthy, disgusting pair of…." Her vision was suddenly warped. Instead of seeing Draco and his snake covered with filth from crashing into the trash cans, she saw them both sitting beside a beach, covered in seaweed and sand. Draco was in swimming trunks. "…filthy, disgusting pair of naughty….sexilicious…."

Hermione was crawling toward Draco, who was watching her with a mix of humor and apprehension in his eyes. But before he could say anything, Forktongue's tongue extended out of his mouth and immediately punctured Hermione between her eyebrows. Instantly, Hermione fell into a deep sleep.

Her dream that night was more vivid that ever.

She was on the meadow again, rolling across the grass, the never-ending grass, kissing Draco. They fell off a cliff and splashed into the ocean below. Hermione and Draco were holding hands in midwater, gazing into each other's eyes. But this time they weren't alone. Forktongue was swirling around Draco's body, tearing at his clothes with his three-pronged tongue and tail. Then Forktongue did the same to Hermione, slithering—or rather, swimming—around her body, tearing her clothes. Soon, Draco and Hermione were naked. The waters washed them ashore on the beach, and Hermione got up to see Draco's bare, shiny-wet body rise up with Forktongue wrapped atop his shoulders.

Merlin, both Draco and his snake were so sexy together. She pounced on Draco, falling on top of him, ready to make love. But before she do anything, she felt a vibration. Both Draco and the snake were vibrating beneath her. What was going on?

She woke up. She was still lying in near the trashcans, although there was no sign of Draco and his snake. "Ohh…" she moaned. "How dare he…that bastard…leaving me here alone…all alone…without his delicious body to keep me safe…" she felt the vibration again. Her phone in her jeans pocket. She groaned and slowly slipped it out. Her screen showed a missed call and a text message, both from Ron. Her heart skipped a beat as she read his text.

Hey babe, I'll be a bit late to our dinner at Brews and Stews tonight, srry. But I'll be there in 10 mins!