The calm before the storm
"Christian darling, wake up."
What is going on? I can feel fingers running through my hair. I open my eyes and see my mother with tears in her eyes. What happened? I must of fallen asleep. Is Ana alright? What about Jaxson? I think I am about to have a panic attack.
"Mom, what is going on?"
"Christian calm down. Everything is fine. I just moved Jackson into his bed. He was asleep on your lap for the past two hours but he needed a breathing treatment. You both slept through it. Jason brought food and I didn't want you to miss a meal. I was torn about waking you, you looked so peaceful."
"Mom, why does it look like you are about to cry?" I can see the tears in her eyes. She doesn't look sad, I can't really describe the emotion I see on her face.
"Christian how have your nightmares been?"
I know she means well when she asks but I hate the fact I can't tell her they are gone. Another reason I am a disappointment.
"Mom, they are the same. Some days better than others. Why do you ask? Did I have one? I didn't hurt Jaxson did I?" Now I am worried.
"No darling, you misunderstand. You were sleeping so soundly. You appeared to being having a pleasant dream and..." Mom is crying now. "Here look at these pictures."
Grace hands me her phone. On the screen are several pictures of Jaxson asleep on my lap. He is cuddled in and it looks as if someone put a blanket over us. Grace presses a button and changes it to a video. Somehow while Jaxson and I were asleep he moved so his tiny hand is grasping on to my shirt just over my chest. I don't wake from his touch. I don't move his hand. The opposite actually happens. I move my hand to cover his. I am smiling in my sleep. How is this possible. The only person that has ever been that close to my no go areas are Mia and Elena. I would scream in pain each time Elena touched me. Mia was just a baby. What is going on? I watch the video a few times and then look through the pictures again. I forward them to myself. Flynn will have a field day with this. I just don't understand.
"Mom, how is this possible?" I look up and mom is crying but she is smiling too.
"Darling, I don't know how it is possible but you seem to have bonded with Jaxson quite quickly. He seems to have taken a liking to you to. I know you are busy but if you don't mind visiting or staying with him I would appreciate it. The childs life team will be helping him, and Mia and Kate should be feeling better in a day or two but I don't want him to be alone." A look of sadness and despair passes over her face but quickly she is back into doctor mode.
"Mom where is Ana? What happened?" I glance at my watch. She has been gone for most of the day.
"As Ana's health proxy I will tell you. Normally I can't give patients information out. With her father deployed Ana asked me years ago to help out if it was ever needed." She pauses and I can tell she is upset. "Ana has an infection. We have been working to bring her fever down, we have given her antibiotics but she had an allergic reaction to the medication which has just complicated an already difficult case. We were able to stabilize her and she just went into surgery. Her lone concern was Jaxson. I promised that I would make sure that he was taken care of. She won't be out of surgery for a few more hours." Mom is explaining what happened and trying to stay calm but I can see she is upset.
I feel horrible for thinking that she could be faking or doing this just for money. She is nothing like the crack whore. I feel like I should help out more.
"Mom, I don't mean this in a bad way but can I fly in a specialist. I want to help. Also, I have arranged to pay all of the hospital bills for both Jaxson and Anastasia." I don't know why but telling my mom makes me almost blush. Why does it feel like this?
"Christian darling that is incredibly thoughtful. I'm sure that will take a lot of stress off of Anastasia. Did you tell her that when you were speaking with her?" Grace exclaimed excitedly.
"Mom, I am happy you are excited but please don't tell Anastasia. If we need to, just say it was an anonymous donor that heard her story. She isn't my biggest fan. I don't want to stress her out. Hopefully with time I can change her opinion of me." Mom please don't ask why!
"Darling it's not your fault, you had no idea that Mia was not trying to set you up with one of her slutty friends like Lilly." Mom just said slut. I don't think I have ever heard her say anything like that. She didn't even like us to say stupid or shut up when we were growing up.
"Mom you just said slut. I'm shocked. How do you know what happened? I just learned that Ana was the person Mia was trying to set me up with."
"Christian, first don't be so shocked. Believe it or not I have a large vocabulary, I know plenty of inappropriate words that I choose not to use. Don't forget I also speak Spanish, French and Italian. Just because I choose not to say the words does not mean that I am oblivious to the fact than many of Mia's friends and your brother are quite promiscuous. No matter what you call it, promiscuity, slut, manwhore, floozy, harlot, hooker, hussy, prostitute, tart, tramp, vamp, whore, bimbo, Jezebel, call girl, concubine, courtesan, lady of the evening, strumpet, street walker, gigalo, he-slut, walking std, playa and man-ho. A spade is a spade no matter what you call it. Do I need to continue?" I am gaping at my mother. My angelic, prim and proper mother just floored me.
"Mom, how do you even know all of those?"
"Seriously Christian I was young at one time too. Plus I am a pediatrician. I work with teenagers every day. You would be surprised what I know. For your second question I arrived at the house just after you had that conversation with Mia. Ana was quite upset. She hadn't met you and you were assuming some hurtful things about her. She was on the back patio crying. After some prodding she finally told me what she overheard. I explained that unfortunately some of Mia's friends have had less than honorable intentions where you are concerned. Not only that, I informed her the media is constantly commenting on your love life, how you are the most eligible bachelor, the possibility of you being gay and how they never see you out. I didn't tell her that I know you are not gay and that you have your women. We should eat the food is getting cold." Grace walks over to the little table at the end of the room and starts unpacking the food. I am again astounded. I walk over and sit across from Grace.
"Mom what do you mean you know I am not gay and I have my women?" What does she know?
"Really Christian? You are an adult, do you think I believe for an instant that you are a 28 year old virgin?" Shit there is that damn mom face. "I have dealt with many patients that were scared of coming out to their parents. I know the signs. I have also seen you checking out women. You try not to be obvious but I have noticed. From what I can tell you are attracted to petite brunettes, am I correct?"
What the hell. I thought we were going to talk about Anastasia and Jaxson. How did we get into my sex life. I need to change the subject now. I am pushing the Caesar salad and chicken parmesan around on my plate. I think I have lost my appetite but I abhor wasted food.
"So what can I do to help Anastasia and Jaxson?" I ask without looking up from my meal.
"Christian look at me, I know you had an awful start to life. I think that you and Anastasia would be an adorable couple and could help each other heal. Once you get to know each other you will see that you actually have a lot in common. For that to happen you need to open yourself up to the possibilities. I can see that you and Jaxson have bonded very quickly. He is a lovable child but he usually takes a while to connect with new people. I saw how attached he already is to you. If you can spare some time in your busy schedule I would appreciate it. I know you changed the subject to get the questioning off your love life. If thats what you want I will respect that but I will tell you I know that you have had your share of relationships. You are nowhere as bad as your brother since you at least stay with the same woman for months at a time but they don't seem to make you happy so maybe it is time to change your modus operandi."
That got my attention, my head shoots up and I stare at my mother. I don't know what to say. What does she know and how much? I know she doesn't know about me and Elena otherwise there would be another body in the morgue. Mom seems to be aware of much more of my life than I ever knew. I am about to ask what else she knows and how when her phone rings.
"Hello this is Doctor Trevelyan... Alright I will be in the emergency room in a few minutes. Make sure you page surgery also. thank you. " Grace stands as she finishes the call.
"Darling I am needed in the ER. We can finish this conversation later. When you need to leave please let a nurse know." She kisses my cheek and before I can say anything else she is out the door.
How does Grace knows anything about my sex life? I have never wanted to have that conversation but now I am worried. I text Barney and Welch to see if they can find any connections between my ex-subs and my mother.
I don't think she has seen the playroom but just in case I ask Taylor to change the locks.
I am tempted to have everything moved to storage. It has been six months since I had a sub. I just can't do it, it is almost like it is my security blanket.
I used to have a blanket that I took everywhere, it was the one thing I had from before I became a Grey. It had burn holes and it was tattered but it was mine. I wonder what happened to it? Why am I having so many thoughts about my childhood. Usually the only time I think about it is after a horrible nightmare. Usually Flynn has to pry the memories out of me. Could it be because of Jaxson? I need this to stop. I decide to text Flynn.
Christian: Flynn I need to see you. Can you come to the hospital?
Flynn: Are you alright? What are you at the hospital for?
Christian: I am fine. Visiting a family friends son.
That doesn't sound right. I can't call Anastasia a friend, at the moment she hates me. I can't really say I am connected to this little boy I met a few hours ago, can I?
Flynn: I can be at the hospital in an hour. What room are you in? Do you want to arrange for a private room?
I can't leave Jaxson alone... we will have to do the session in here if my mom doesn't return. I can't abandon him.
Flynn is going to have a field day.