"Jaxson?"
Before I can answer the nurse and doctors come charging into the room. Taylor is pushed out and I am asked to leave but Ana is still gripping my hand. She is squeezing so hard that her finger nails are digging into my skin. I crouch down and whisper.
"Mom is with him. I will go check on him and I will be back." She releases her grip slightly and a nurse pulls her hand away from mine.
"Hello darling I am Margret. How are you feeling Ms. Steele? Can I get you anything?" A nice older woman asks with concern in her voice.
A young man enters and introduces himself as a doctor. He looks like Doogie Howser. How can he be old enough to be a licensed physician.
"Mr. Grey the little boy you asked about is out of surgery." A woman that has eye fucked myself and Taylor each time she checked Anastasia's vitals comments.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
"What? My baby?" Anastasia screams in agony and it has nothing to do with her injuries.
I had planned on making sure Anastasia was stable before dumping this information on her. I know she is Jaxson's mother and has every right to know but having her freak out will not help Jaxson in the slightest.
"My baby, what happened to him?" Anastasia is pleading to know what happened. The alarms are going off like crazy.
One nurse calls out " Her heart rate has skyrocketed."
Another, " She is pulling out her IV and tearing her sutures."
"Ms. Steele, you need to calm down. You are acting ridiculous. Your friend can come back later." That was the bitch that let it slip that Jaxson was in surgery. Fuck this.
"Jason!" I bellow and he is back in the room immediately.
"Sir." His response is clipped. He doesn't even try to hide his emotions, he is as mad as I am and he doesn't even know what happened. .
"Call Mrs. Curtis and get her down here. Get the doctor in charge of this unit and get that nurse out of here and barred from this room."
"You have no authority to do that." The other nurse yells as she tries to get into my face.
Try it buddy I dare you. Before he can round the bed Jason has him pressed against the glass wall and out of the room.
As I turn back towards Anastasia I hear the doctor yell.
" Give her 2 of Valium IM. "
The stupid nurse that mentioned Jaxson stabs a syringe into Anastasia's thigh moments before Jason escorts her out of the room. She and the other nurse are yelling from outside the room.
"What the hell did you just give her."
"She is violent and is a danger to herself and the staff. "
"She would have been fine if your incompetent staff didn't mention that her son is in surgery. You didn't even try to talk to her to see what the problem was. Taylor get this guy out too." I might not be a doctor but I know there are better ways to calm a patient than to drug them. I have been there and I'm not letting it happen again. Max another one of my men comes in and escorts the idiot out.
I turn back to Anastasia and squat down so I am at her eye level. I have no idea how long it will take for the drugs to take over or how she will react.
"Anastasia, I need you to calm down." She has tears running down her face and her sobs are heartbreaking, just like her sons tears for her earlier.
"Ana, please calm down so I can update you on his condition." That quickly gets her attention although the tears have not stopped.
"What happened to my baby?" She seems to have no concern for herself. While commendable she needs to realize that she is making things harder on herself as well as Jaxson.
"Please calm down. Your little boy wants to see you so you need to let your body heal." A minuscule nod from Anastasia but I will take it.
"How long until the Valium takes effect?"
Nurse Margret is the only hospital staff still in the room. " It should take effect in the next ten to fifteen minutes. She had a small dose so it should only make her a tad sleepy but each patient responds to medication differently."
Well hell, I need to give her the cliffs notes version of what is going on with Jaxson.
She grips onto my hand once again and pulls me closer. I sit on the side of the bed next to her.
"I will tell you all I can before the medicine takes effect but I need you to promise that you will stay calm. Think about Jaxson and getting back to him." Again a microscopic nod but this time the mom look that says tell me already is added.
"Jaxson is in surgery with Dr. Palmer the pediatric Pulmonologist. He was wheezing and had a few complications. They were going to run some tests, get lung biopsies and try to treat the inflammation and damage from the smoke inhalation. Mom is with him and she promised not to leave him alone for an instant. He should be back in his room in a few hours. That call from mom was to let me know that surgery was completed and they were in post op waiting for him him to wake up."
" He has been alone,he is probably terrified. I'm the worst mother ever."
"Please calm down. Other than now I haven't left his side since you collapsed. He is being taken care of and once this medicine has worn off I will find a way to reunite you with your son."
"I just want to hold my baby." She is weeping but seems to be calming down a little. She is a mom whose world revolves around her child. She is just like Grace.
"Ana, mom won't let you and Jaxson stay separated. I will go and check on him right now but I need take some calming breaths. Focus on a happy memory as you take deep breaths." At least Flynn's calming exercise bullshit has finally came in handy. That shot never helped with my nightmares. Shit Flynn, he can help.
"Keep taking calming breaths. What do you imagine when you think of your happy place?"
"A baby Jaxson. I loved that he would hold onto my finger as I was feeding him. How his soft tuft of curly brown hair smelt and I would give it a little kiss. His little smiles and his baby giggle. His chunky cheeks and those little dimples. ...Oh my god!" The breathing and talking about her happy place seemed to be helping until that that scream.
"What's wrong?" Please tell me I didn't mess up.
"Jaxson's baby items, his baby pictures and all the mementos are gone. I don't care so much of the stuff but the memories." Her tears start anew.
I don't know why but I pull Ana up enough so she is leaning her chest and body against my side. I wait for the burning feeling that always starts but nothing happens, that is perplexing.
"Jaxson and you will be fine. That is what is important. I need you to focus on that. While the nurse Margaret helps you I will go check on Jaxson and I will be back, alright?"
The tears continue for a few minutes but she eventually pulls herself up. I feel a loss once her body is not pressed into mine.
She is looking down at her hands that are gripping the sheet over her legs. This is the first time Anastasia has looked like she didn't want to say what was on her mind, I what it is.
"What is it? Do you need anything else?"
"Umm.." Could she have heard what I was saying?
"Please tell me. I really would like to help."
"It is just that I don't know you and I just lost it in front of you. It isn't like me to become a blubbering mess let alone feel like the damsel in distress. I'm sure you are used to people trying to use for your money. I have no idea how much it must have cost you to be here all this time, I know this isn't your MO."
Shit, she is thinking about about the gold digging sluts comment. " Anastasia, please don't think about that. I know you are completely different from Mia's others friends. I will forever regret what I said. You have no idea how bad I feel that you heard me say that and I understand that I shouldn't have said it. I have spent a lot of time with Jaxson and I can tell that you are an amazing mother and probably just as wonderful in the other aspects of your life. Please let me make up for my dreadful behavior. Can we be friends?"
It is obvious that I have surprised Anastasia. Her eyes are wide open, her pupils dilated and her mouth is gaping open. Is it that surprising that I could be someone's friend? Well actually it is. If this was last week, hell if it was two days ago I would say you were nuts. However right now I would like nothing more than to make things right with the tiny brunette that has yet to answer my question.
Before I can get an answer a new nurse enters the room with a tray full of bandages, ointments and other sealed items to change the dressing on the skin grafts.
" I will be back soon." I hope she understands how much Jaxson means to me and that I will protect them both.
Mrs. Curtis is standing in the hall waiting for me.
Once I fill her in on her incompetent staff she apologizes profusely. "What do the patients that don't have someone to advocate for them do?"
"Mr. Grey this is not an everyday occurrence. I can guarantee that it won't happen again."
"Make sure of it or I will purchase this hospital and fire everyone of you?"
" I will apologize to Ms. Steele personally and make sure that the staff understand that are VIP patients get the utmost respect."
"No!" They really don't get it.
"No?"
"Yes, No! I want all the patients to be treated better. It isn't right that only people with money are treated with compassion. Find out what it will cost to have more staff, extra training and to get rid of anyone that can't get on board."
I have never wanted to add a hospital to my portfolio but I am beyond pissed.
Jason and I leave the ICU and quickly make our way to Jaxson's room. I send a few texts to Mia, Barney and my mother.
"Jason can you ask for the head of the childlife department to meet us at Jaxson's room please?"
"Uh.. right away sir." Jason does not stutter, what was that about?
"Jason, what is the problem, speak freely."
"Well sir, I can't recall the last time you said please when asking for something. I think young mister Steele is affecting you. I remember when it happened after Sofie was born. You don't realize the little changes you subconsciously make." Jason has the biggest smirk and it is contagious because I have the same goofy grin on my face. I can't deny that Jaxson has gotten under my skin. Obviously he isn't my child but I can honestly say that for the first time ever I can imagine being a father some day.
" I suppose you are right. While we are talking please drop the sir. It is long overdue but you should call me Christian. I spend more time with you than anyone else, I'm just sorry that it has taken so long."
"Yes sir, I'm sorry, Christian. At some point we will need to go over the Elena Lincoln situation."
It is obvious that he is upset about what he has learned through my conversation with Sleeping Beauty. I should have told him everything before. For the first time I feel surprisingly at ease about it. I'm not going to post it on social media or anything but I at least I can think about it without physically getting ill. I wonder if this new calm will be lasting?
As we approach Jaxson's room the nurse's are getting Jaxson settled back into bed. He is no longer smiling. Once he is settled mom waves Jason and I in.
"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" I ask. Nothing, no response.
"Are you excited about becoming an Avenger?" Taylor questions and to that Jaxson turns away from us and is looking at the wall.
This can't be a good sign. Mom fills us in that Jaxson's bronchoscopy showed some pulmonary edema which is swelling in the lungs. He also has pneumonia so he will be starting antibiotics. The biopsies that were taken were sent to the lab.
"Mom, Anastasia is awake. She is having the dressing changed for the skin grafts. Once that is complete can we get the two of them back together. She is having just as hard of a time."
"I am afraid not. Anastasia is on antibiotics to inhibit the growth of bacteria and another infection. Jaxson is also on antibiotics to fight the pneumonia. They need a little time. After 24 hours on antibiotics I would feel comfortable to reunite them."
"What? We can't do that? She practically pulled off her bandages and IV's just to get to the room." I can feel the outrage. How can this be allowed? I am about to have a temper tantrum.
"Christian Grey!" Mom whisper shouts. "You may be able to scare everyone into getting your way but not in my hospital. I will not risk the lives of my patients because you don't think it is fair. Well guess what? It is not fair but leaving a mother without a child or a child without a mother will do nobody any good. I need for both of them to start feeling better but also I need to uplift their spirits. It is proven that happy patients do much better. Do you understand?"
Well hell, now I feel like I am seven years old again and I got in trouble for putting the itching powder in Elliot's underwear. "Yes mother."
She turns towards Jason waiting expectantly. The look on his face is of the 'What did I do?' It appears to be a stalemate when Jason finally drops his head and apologizes to my mother. He is at least a foot taller and probably a good hundred pounds heavier but she will not take anyone's shit. The visual is too much and I try everything I can to not lose it to no avail.
Once I pull myself together I try to understand why Jaxson is so upset.
"When he woke up he wanted his mommy. The joy of a superhero dress up party can't hold a candle to the excitement of seeing one's mom. We have Ipad's that we use when we need translators. I can arrange to have one for each of them so that they can at least see each other."
"Taylor, have Barney bring two new Ipad's on his way. Ask him to load one with a bunch of kids apps."
"I will go speak with Ana. I need you to stay here and see if you can lift Jaxson's spirits."
"Yes mom."
"Jaxson darling I am going to go check on Mommy and see if she is awake. As soon as we can get the both of you feeling a little better the sooner I can have you both in the same room. Okay?"
"I... want…. my... momma!" Jaxson starts to cry between each word. Mom motions for me to come closer to the bed. I sit at the end. "Unke Cwistian.." He sobs again. Mom exits the room as Jaxson crawls into my lap. I guess I'm not getting help from her. His tears get stronger and he continues to whimper. I have no idea what to do so I start humming to the tune of Rubber Duckie, Row, row, row your boat, twinkle, twinkle and every other nursery rhyme that I learned to play on the piano. By the time I get to Mary Poppins Let's go Fly a kite Jaxson's tears have ceased and he has fallen asleep.
Taylor leaves to run a few errands that I needed to be completed. I spent an hour talking to the Wendy the Child-life representative on what could be done to help both mother and child. I am confident that we can pull this off.
I must have dosed off because the next thing I can hear a commotion in the hall. I protectively pull Jaxson against myself. Not that I think anyone dangerous could get past my security but that doesn't mean I am making it easier for anyone either.
A few more moments of loud voices and the door opens up. I sag with relief. There is no danger to Jaxson here. My credit card might need to be resuscitated. Mia and her friend Katherine Kavanaugh enter the room with a multitude of bags. I guess it could be worse and then I see Trent, Mia's CPO, pushing a cart that is over full followed by what looks like an orderly pushing a second cart.
The commotion has woken Jaxson. I was expecting him to want his auntie Mia or even Kate but instead he curls up into a little ball and is attached to me like a barnacle on the hull of a boat.
"Jaxson, my little cuddle bear. Can I have a hug?"
"No!" He shouts without turning his head.
"We brought you a prize. Christian told us how brave you have been." He doesn't respond to Katherine's comment instead his big blue eyes look up at me.
"Is momma dead?" He whispers emotionless. Instead of appearing as if he is going to cry it seems like he is shutting down. I remember this. Once I realized that my mom was gone I stopped speaking. I had lost everything, it was my way of protecting myself.
Mia and Katherine both seem to be on the edge of breaking down themselves. The little boy that has become family is looking at essentially a stranger for answers. The possibility that Jaxson and Anastasia could have both died was a real possibility and the psycho Jack Hyde is still on the loose.
"Jaxson your momma is hurt. She had to have surgery just like you did but she is not dead. Remember my friend Sawyer?"
"Spidey?"
"Yes, Spiderman. He has been with your momma. I have a surprise so that you will be able to see her. Remember how you spoke to Spidey on the tablet? Well my friend Barney should be here any moment. He is bringing a tablet for you and your mom. Until tomorrow you will have to talk to momma through that."
"Why? I want my special hug!" I don't have the slightest idea what a special hug is so I look to Mia and Katherine for help.
"Cuddle bear I think that got burned in the fire but I have this." Mia pulls out a stuffed bear that is bright orange. It has two yellow daisies on its white stomach. It looks like it is an antique but also strangely familiar.
Jaxson finally smiles at the girls and crawls to the end of the bed and gives them each a hug.
"Tank you!"
I have so many questions but they will have to wait.
Nurse Lilah another nurse that has known me since I was a kid comes in with a tray of soft foods. Lime Jello, chocolate pudding, a banana, mashed potatoes, tomato soup and several drinks. "Jaxson I brought you your favorites. They are all soft so they will help your throat."
"How about I feed you while you hold Friendship Bear?" Katherine asks.
Friendship Bear, the name sounds oddly familiar. Jaxson holds onto the bear even tighter but he nods in agreement.
I never would have pictured Katherine as motherly. The few times I have seen her she is usually dressed very scantily. Usually she and Mia were going clubbing so I guess it is fair to judge her by that. She has never hit on me like Mia's other social climbing friends.
Thank you, I mouth to Katherine.
"Mia what is a special hug, can I order it? What's with the bear?"
"When Ana was little her dad would bring her a different Care Bear each time he returned from a deployment. Jaxson's dad found this out and got Friendship Bear when he asked her out. By then she hadn't had a new one in years but he had heard the stories so he bought it. Ana's favorite flower is a daisy so it was perfect. Jaxson left this at moms the last time he was over."
"Care Bears… that sounds so familiar. Did you have one?"
"We all did. Mom would bring one to the kids in the hospital in Detroit. She wanted to make sure each child had a happy memory from the hospital. Elliot had TenderHeart, I think he still has his. I have Lotsa Heart a pink elephant and you had a blue bear named Grumpy. Mom says she tried to give you a different bear but you refused. You took it with you everywhere for the first two years after you became a Grey."
"I don't remember it. I know I don't have it at Escala."
"No you don't have it. I lost my elephant and you gave me Grumpy Bear. Once I found Lotsa you let me keep Grumpy so I would always have you nearby. I still have him at home."
I don't remember any of this. I remember fighting with Elliot and feeling like I didn't belong but somehow I have forgotten the happy memories. How? Why? My list of things to talk to Flynn about keeps growing.
I need to change the subject. I will have time to dissect all of this later.
"What about the special hug? Where can I buy one of those?"
"Again, that is not something that can be purchased. After Jaxson's father died Ana took one of his military dress shirts and filled the arms with padding. Whenever Jaxson missed his dad he could have a special hug from his arms. It was his shirt and Ana would spray his cologne on it once in awhile so Jaxson would have that connection. That is irreplaceable."
"Well hell… hopefully this will be enough. Did you get everything you needed?"
"Yes, it will take some time for the other stuff to be complete but we have everything for today."
Mia and Katherine show Jaxson the clothes and toys they have purchased a long with enough supplies to decorate the hospital with some holiday cheer. Did I just say holiday cheer? The possibility that I have an aneurysm seems to be increasing. What is wrong with me.
A knock on the door and Barney enters with a two boxes. Once he has everything set up he follows Mia and Katherine to Anastasia's room. Jaxson is excited for all of the apps that he is playing but he is most excited about seeing his mom so they don't hold his attention for long.
A short while later the Facetime icon pops onto the screen with a picture of Anastasia and a newborn baby Jaxson in her arms. He slides the icon and excitedly screams "Momma!" when her face fills the screen.
"Jaxson!" The tears from mother and child have the nurses rushing in to both rooms. This time it is happy tears so they quickly leave.
The conversation is mostly 'I love you's" back and forth. Once Jaxson realizes that his mom is in fact alright he starts to tell her about his Avengers team that is protect them and all the presents he has received. I feel like I am intruding on a special moment between mother and son but Jaxson has shifted once again so he is sitting on my lap.
After two hours of talking, Anastasia watching through the iPad as Jaxson got a breathing treatment and his medications he tells his mom that he is getting tired.
"Christian could you please rub his back as I sing him his song?"
"Sure", I position Jaxson so his head is leaning against my chest but he can still see the screen. In the background I can hear Mia's gasp. Mom and Taylor are the only ones that know that Jaxson can touch my no go areas. Until now that has only ever been Mia.
Anastasia starts to sing and her voice is like angels.
"Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part
Baby of mine"
As she completes the song it finally hits me where I recognize the song from. The mom from the Disney movie Dumbo sings it to her baby. That scene always made mom cry when we were kids but she said she loved the movie anyway. She would sing it to me when I had a nightmare. At first she would lead me to the piano. I would sit at the opposite end of the piano bench while she played the music and sang along. Eventually as I started to trust she would sit next to my bed and run her fingers through my hair as she sang. The memory is another that I seem to have suppressed. It brings tears to my eyes. My mom has always loved me.
Jaxson is asleep by the time the song is finished and I lay him on his bed. The quiet beeping of his monitors is the only sound. I look back at the monitor and Anastasia appears to be crying as well.
"Did I do something wrong?" I can't help but question. I am definitely not an expert when it comes to children.
"No, that is not it." Anastasia starts to speak to Katherine and Mia who are out of the camera's range. I completely forgot they were even in the room.
"Do you mind sitting with Jaxson so that I can speak with Christian?"
I can't hear what is being said but Factime is turned off so I presume that they are on the way.
I wonder what it is. Could it be the presents? Was it too much? Maybe the CPO's. It's not like I have had the chance to talk to her. I feel like I am waiting to see the principal.
Thank you for all the encouragement. Please let me know what you think. I am still very new at this.
3 3 Ruby