Chapter Eleven

Wind from Butterfly Wings

Byakuya awoke the next morning to find both Renji and Ichigo fast asleep still. He smiled to himself. Renji was right about him being glad for them being able to entertain each other. He couldn't always give Renji the attention he needed, which was a lot. He didn't think he could have given Ichigo enough of his attention either for his situation. He got up carefully so as not to wake either of them. He would deal with this rumor mess today. The content of the rumors was concerning, and he had no idea if it would even do any good to punish the man who started them. He was annoyed because this wasn't the academy and this drama was nonsense. Ichigo already felt horrible for what he'd done, and now it was made ten times worse by these unfounded claims.

He made his way to the dining area and noticed one of the servants smiling at him.

"Is there something you need?" he asked her as she sat down the breakfast.

"Nothing, Kuchiki-sama. You just seem more relaxed lately."

She disappeared into the kitchens and Byakuya wondered if it was that apparent that he was in a better mood. Ichigo had that influence on him it seemed. He worried though. Ichigo hadn't denied them anything and seemed willing to go along with everything he was told to do. That bothered him quite a bit because that could be an effect of the training his father had forced on him. He looked up in time to see Renji steering Ichigo into the dining area. He watched Ichigo closely and saw that same look on his face. It was somewhere between sadness and frustration to Byakuya's eyes.

"Ichigo, I will be dealing with Higa today. Do you wish to be present?" he asked.

Ichigo's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I'd rather not see him again. Especially while you're dealing with him."

"Come on, Ichi, eat something," Renji harped on him and Byakuya couldn't help the smile that came to his lips. He teased Renji about spoiling him, but the truth was he wanted to see him spoiled. It was something so different than he was used to. He sighed as he watched Ichigo studiously eat his breakfast, glancing now and then at Renji.

"I'll go ahead this morning," Byakuya stated as he got up. "Come to the office before you go out to the training grounds."

Ichigo nodded and looked back at his breakfast, still half eaten. He continued to eat after Renji threw a glare his way.

Byakuya made his way to the sixth and immediately summoned Higa. He was a newer addition from the academy, and he supposed his youth might be to blame for his willingness to share stories of conquests.

He heard the knock on the door and called out, "Enter."

"Kuchiki-taichou, you sent for me?" Higa said as he came to stand before the desk.

"I'm addressing some reports of rumors that have come to my attention that reports state were begun by you, Higa. Is this true?" he asked.

Higa shuffled his feet a bit. "Um, I might have said some things to friends while drinking the other night…perhaps embellished things in my state."

"Embellished? Are you in the Gotei 13 or the Academy?" Byakuya demanded in his stoic way.

"The Gotei 13, sir."

"Then I suggest you retract your statements regarding the story circulating about Ichigo Kurosaki. There is no foundation in reality for such a story as it is a complete fabrication."

"Sir, it isn't a complete fabrication…" Higa began.

Byakuya looked at him. "What part is not fabrication?"

"Um, my friend did see Kurosaki going into an empty barracks with Ikkaku from the eleventh," he informed him.

"Yes, however the story that you spent the night with him is false. I am sure of this because the night in question he was at my manor where he is currently living."

Higa's eyes widened a bit; he hadn't known that Ichigo had been staying with Byakuya by the look. "I'm sorry sir, I didn't know."

"Now, what are we going to do to curtail this rumor?"

"I don't know, sir. I can try and tell people I made it up, but most won't believe me. I didn't think things would be enough to reach your ears, sir." Higa looked uncomfortable discussing the issue.

"You were turned down by him, is that correct? Is that your reason for spreading this story?" Byakuya asked with no expression on his face.

"Um, sir, I would rather not discuss that."

"I would rather not have rumors flying about regarding one of the people that was instrumental in saving Soul Society from the likes of Sōsuke Aizen."

"Yes, sir. I'll do what I can, sir," Higa said, trying desperately it seemed to get out of the office and away from Byakuya.

He stared at Higa. "You will do what you can to neutralize these rumors. You are also placed on suspension for one week. You may return next week. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir," Higa bowed and exited the office as quickly as he could.

Byakuya sighed and ran a hand over his head. Things were complicated if what he'd picked up was correct. Not only had Higa indicated Ichigo was willing to sleep with random people, he'd also indicated he wanted to be treated roughly. That meant that those approaching Ichigo were going to do so with violence. Byakuya wasn't so much worried for Ichigo; he could take care of himself. He was worried for collateral damage if Ichigo did get into a fight with someone seriously. He knew that so far he was doing all he could to avoid confrontation.

He looked up as the door open and Renji and Ichigo came into the room. Still, Ichigo looked that same way, and it still bothered him.

Ichigo stood near the door to wait for whatever he was told it seemed. Byakuya didn't like the fact he seemed to always be awaiting instructions.

"Ichigo, what would you like to do today?" Byakuya finally asked.

"Um, I figured I would train with the group again, if that's what you'd like me to do. I could do something else if you need me to," he said, confirming Byakuya's suspicion that he was simply following whatever they said to do.

"You know, you have the freedom to choose what you do, Ichigo. There is no reason you have to wait for instructions from me." Renji looked over at him from his desk.

"Yeah, you've been awful willing to do what we ask and don't do anything else. What's up with that?" Renji asked with a frown.

"I just want to do what you expect of me," Ichigo answered, twisting his hands together in front of him.

"Ichigo…you aren't speaking up about your wants, are you?" Byakuya asked with a deep sigh. It was as he feared.

"What does that mean, are you doing things you don't want to do?" Renji asked with a look of annoyance on his face.

"Well, it hasn't been like that. I like the things I've been doing so it is okay."

"What happens when you don't like something?" Byakuya asked.

"I'll…I will tell you…?" Ichigo's voice was questioning, as if he was looking for confirmation about his answer.

Byakuya stood up and walked around the desk. Ichigo looked worried as he approached him. He took his face in his hands and sighed. "You want to please us, but we want to please you. You aren't required to do everything asked of you. There are some things that you must do, but there are more things that you have a choice in what you do."

Ichigo stared at Byakuya's eyes. "I don't want to make you angry."

"You cannot do that. Even if you did make one of us angry, anger isn't a bad thing. You must learn that we aren't doing this because we expect anything out of you. We are doing it because we care for you and want to see you get stronger and move past the trauma you experienced."

Ichigo leaned forward a little and Byakuya responded by kissing his lips gently. Ichigo kissed back, wanting more from him. Byakuya responded by leaning in to lick at Ichigo's tongue when it flicked out of his mouth. Ichigo seemed to melt into Byakuya's touch as he opened his mouth to invite him in. Byakuya took a few minutes to kiss him soundly, exploring his mouth with slow strokes of his tongue. He broke the kiss and smiled gently at him.

"I can tell when you enjoy something. I won't get angry at you, but I will be upset if you continue to do everything we say simply because you're told. You have a choice in matters, and you should never feel like you have to do anything to please us."

Ichigo nodded as Byakuya let go and returned to his desk. "If you wish to train with the groups today, do so, if you do not wish to do so, you can stay in here or return to the manor."

"I…I'll train with the group this morning," he said. "I had an encounter with someone from the afternoon training," he murmured and rubbed his arm.

Ichigo left and went to the training field, leaving Byakuya to watch from the window as he joined them. "Do you think he's just doing everything we say?" Renji asked from his desk.

"I'm unsure; we will just have to be more careful when expressing things to him," Byakuya explained.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Ichigo was once again getting ready to return to the world of the Living for his therapy appointment. Renji stood beside him at the senkaimon and held his hand. He knew they could easily be spotted but he didn't care. He needed Renji to hold onto him so he couldn't run away. And he wanted to run away rather than face the therapist again. He stepped through to the World of the Living and found himself in Urahara's shoten. He was met by Kon and Karin.

"I'm seeing it but I still don't believe it," Karin said as she looked at Ichigo. Yuzu couldn't see him, of course.

"Karin, hi, Kon," Ichigo said but he still clung to Renji.

Kon was holding the stuffed lion and sighed. "I'm glad you are going to this appointment."

A few seconds later, Kon was in the lion and Ichigo was in his body. He sighed and looked at Renji. "Are you sure I need to do this?" he asked.

"You do, I'll go with you and wait in the waiting room for you," Renji assured. Renji caught the look Karin was giving him as he transferred to his Gigai. She was observant, that was for certain.

They made their way to the office on the card. Renji felt out of place in his casual dress with all the business people that were walking around. Ichigo approached the check in counter.

"Um, I'm here to see Dr. Hirayama…" he said nervously.

"Name?" the receptionist asked without looking up.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," he answered. She glanced up at him with narrowed eyes and nodded.

"Have a seat. Your friend will have to stay out here; he can't go in the appointment with you," she told him as she shuffled papers behind the desk

Ichigo went and sat down on a sofa by Renji. He grabbed his hand. "I don't want to be here."

"You need to talk to someone," Renji reminded him.

Ichigo didn't know if he liked this Dr. Hirayama or not. She'd asked him some weird questions last time he'd seen her. He wondered what kind of things she would ask him today. He was worrying over that very thing when he sensed someone nearby. He looked up to see the bespectacled doctor. He stood up, letting go of Renji's hand slowly.

"Dr. Hirayama," he said to her.

She nodded to him. "Good afternoon, Ichigo. Come back to my office," she told him.

She led him behind the entry and down a short hallway. She opened the door to an office with her name on the plaque outside it. The inside of the office was cream colored with her desk and computer situated closest to the door. On the other side of it was a comfortable looking sofa. Ichigo took a minute at the door and went and sat down on the sofa.

"How are you today, Ichigo?" she asked.

"Fine," he anwered as he looked around the room.

"Have you done anything this week?" she continued.

Ichigo nodded. "Um, I've been working on learning to use a sword better," he said with a cautious look.

"Sword? That's quite a hobby."

"Yeah, I like to practice, but that's all I've really been doing. And spending time with Renji and Byakuya." He shifted uncomfortably and wondered how long he had to stay in the room.

"Are they your partners?"

"Yeah. I've been trying to make them happy." Ichigo stared at his hands.

"Is that important, making them happy?" she asked, staring at him.

"Of course, I have to make them happy, otherwise what good am I to them," Ichigo said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Is that what they said?"

"Of course not. They keep telling me I don't have to do things they want me to do, but I need to do something." Ichigo said with a nervous glance at the door. "But I feel like I have to."

"Why is that? What happens if you don't make them happy?"

"They might not want me around," he said before he thought better of it.

"You feel like they only want you around for what you can do for them."

"Well, yeah, that's the basis of a relationship," he said with a shrug.

"Did you ever think that they want you around just because you're you, not for what you can do?" she wondered, pushing her glasses up her nose thoughtfully.

Ichigo looked at her. "I…I don't know how to make something work like that. I feel like I have to be useful to them."

"How are you useful to them?"

Swallowing a lump, Ichigo's hands twisted together. "Well, I found out Renji has a higher sex drive than Byakuya, and sometimes wants more than Byakuya can provide. So I can help take care of that."

She nodded and wrote something down on her pad. "You think sexual favors are what your purpose in the relationship is."

"Well, they invited me because of my getting other people involved, so it started so I wouldn't go to others…even though it didn't matter since there are rumors going around about me because I told this guy I wouldn't do anything with him."

"Rumors?" she asked. "What kind of rumors?"

"Well, where I practice with a sword, it kinda is a tight knit group of people. The guy I turned down said that I was open to sleeping with about anyone and that I had slept with him, which I hadn't. And that I wanted to be treated rough. Its all because someone saw me when I tried to get Ikkaku involved." He sighed heavily. "So it is all my fault no matter how I look at it. I did it to myself."

"Did you start the rumors?" she asked seriously.

"Of course not! Why would I do something like that?"

"Then you aren't at fault for them. Rumors are like that. Tell me, do you have a creative outlet other than practicing with a sword? While that is a good hobby for physical aspects, it doesn't offer creative mental outlets. Do you like to write, paint, or draw?"

"I used to draw a bit," he said with a glance at the floor. "It was some pretty messed up things that came out of my head, though."

She looked at him. "Did you like drawing? Did it help?"

"Sometimes it felt like it made me calmer," he said and twisted his fingers together again.

"You seem to be uncomfortable. Tell me why that is?"

"I don't know you that well, and telling you stuff is weird," he answered truthfully.

She nodded. "That's why it takes time to get to the work we have to do. Now, what would you like to tell me about? What are you comfortable telling me about?"

He paused, thinking. "I guess about my mother. I could talk about that."

"Okay, why don't you tell me about her."

"She was the heart of our family, and everything revolved around her. She was the only one that could stop me from crying and could make me smile. I was happiest when she was around. Then, she was gone. I was with her when she died, but I don't remember how she died. I remember being scared and then seeing her lying there. That was when I knew something was wrong with me because I'd done something, I was sure of it."

"Your father encouraged that thinking."

"Yeah, he did. He used to get so mad when I cried because he said he lost his only love and there was nothing that could bring her back." Ichigo was silent then, breathing slightly heavy.

"Why don't you focus more on your mother and tell me more about her, what you remember?" she told him.

"Okay…" Ichigo began and was surprised when she said their hour was up. He'd talked about his mom nearly nonstop for most the time, and he felt a little better about the doctor. She was good at listening, so that was good.

He left with Renji, and clutched his hand. As soon as they got outside, he felt the tears in his eyes. He turned into Renji outside the building and buried his face in his shoulder. Renji didn't say anything, just put his arms around him and let him release the tears that had come from talking about his mother. He was surprised by them because he was trying so hard not to cry with the doctor.

"You okay, Ichigo?" Renji said as he held onto him.

"Yeah, just brought up some stuff," he said and sighed, stepping back. "I didn't want to do that in front of the doctor."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind," Renji said to him. "Come on, let's go back to the manor. I think Byakuya wanted to spend the evening together.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

When they got back to the manor, it was early evening and Byakuya had sat down to dinner already. They joined him and sat down.

"Renji, I was wondering if you could take care of a couple things at the sixth," Byakuya requested of him.

"Sure, what is it?" Renji asked and got up to go over to him and discuss what was needed of him. Ichigo took the chance to push away his food; he wasn't feeling like eating much after the visit with the doctor. Renji soon had left, leaving him with Byakuya. The servants came and took away the dinner plates and Ichigo looked up to see Byakuya standing beside him.

"Come," Byakuya told him, reaching for his hand.

Ichigo took it, feeling his face heat up. He hadn't been alone with Byakuya before, so he wondered what it would entail. They got to his room and Ichigo sat down on the futon nervously. Considering what they had already done, he wasn't sure why he was having butterflies. Perhaps it was because Byakuya, unlike Renji, was hard to read.

Byakuya sat down beside him and stared for a second until Ichigo felt his cheeks heat. He turned away only to have Byakuya put his hand on his chin and turn him back toward him.

"Tell me what you would like," Byakuya said, searching Ichigo's face for something.

"I don't know, whatever you would like," Ichigo answered, focused on Byakuya's eyes. They were so clear and bright.

"That wasn't what I wanted, now, tell me."

Ichigo swallowed thickly and didn't know what to say. He wanted to be told what he wanted, but he couldn't use that answer. "Kissing is nice," he said.

Byakuya nodded and leaned in to kiss lightly at his lips. Ichigo immediately opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, unable to get enough of the soft sensations that came from Byakuya. Kissing was so different than anything else; it was a sensation of connection and a mixing of breath that almost felt more intimate than sex did.

Ichigo melted into Byakuya's arms, letting him support his body as he tried to get as much contact from his mouth as possible. Finally, need for breath won and Ichigo leaned back, staring up at Byakuya with hooded eyes.

Byakuya reached down and slid his hand against Ichigo's front, finding him aroused and interested in what he was doing. "Do you want me to go on?"

"Yeah," Ichigo gasped, not wanting the attention to stop. This was the first time he'd received Byakuya's complete attention.

Byakuya untied Ichigo's obi and helped him slip off his hakama. He then began to stroke him, finding he was dripping already. Byakuya pushed him down onto his back and began to kiss his throat while his fingers slipped down and inside him without warning. Ichigo gasped and found the sound swallowed by Byakuya. He ground back against his hand, feeling him reach for the spot inside that made him arch and moan.

"I'm the one who wishes to hurry things along tonight, it seems," Byakuya said into Ichigo's mouth, twisting his fingers until he could slide a third one easily inside.

Byakuya moved between his legs and kept working his fingers in and out of him until he was sure he was almost ready to come from fingers alone. He grabbed Ichigo around the base and held tightly, making him moan in frustration.

"Not yet," Byakuya said as he scrambled to retrieve the oil from a pocket. He quickly coated his himself as he pressed against his twitching entrance. He slide forward, slowly entering him. He stopped when he was fully seated inside him, panting slightly from holding back. He then began a slow and steady pace, until Ichigo gasped out "faster" a few times. So Byakuya did as requested, increasing his pace until he knew Ichigo wasn't going to last.

"Go ahead and go," Byakuya whispered into his ear as he leaned over him, trapping Ichigo's cock between them.

Ichigo arched and felt the building sensation crash into him, feeling Byakuya gasp against his throat as he thrust a few more times and found his own release. Ichigo felt the world fuzz for a little bit and he came back to it with Byakuya lying beside him, stroking his hair. Ichigo smiled at him and leaned up to kiss him quickly on the lips.

"Renji isn't the only one that wishes to spoil you. I…am less forward than he is, however, as you can tell," Byakuya said as he leaned forward and captured Ichigo's lips in a kiss that quickly turned passionate and consuming.

"Why?" Ichigo asked suddenly. "Why me?"

Byakuya smiled at him. "Because you need someone to care about you. Renji and I wanted to be that to you. You need to feel needed and wanted. We need and want you."