Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls is the creation of Amy Sherman-Palladino.

Chapter 15: What Would Maxwell Smart Do?

Hartford, Connecticut, Downtown Marriott, Friday, May 19, 2017, 8:30 am EST

After his call with Honor, Logan hung back in his hotel room. Not usually one to hesitate in confronting matters that needed to be addressed head-on, he felt he needed to absorb and process the conversation he'd had with his sister. While most of what she'd said had been positive and reassuring, he still found himself left slightly off-balance by what her report from London.

First, there was Shira. Logan now knew, unequivocally, that his mother's opinion of Rory, was, much like her face following a Botox injection, frozen in time. The why's of the situation -if they ever mattered -certainly didn't matter now. Shira would hopefully have to learn how to accept Rory as her daughter-in-law one day. But, at the very least, under the present circumstances, Rory was her grandson's mother. Surely Shira would comprehend the need for her to be respectful to Rory?

Logan honestly didn't know if Rory being Lucas's mother would be enough to inspire good behavior on Shira's part. During the nearly three years Rory and he had been together, they'd managed to minimize the "in-law" time. In recognition of his mother's and grandfather's dislike and disapproval of Rory, and Mitchum's often critical eye, Rory had been all too willing to steer clear of them. In retrospect, that seemed to have been a mistake. Allowed to persist over time, the rift had grown to psychologically epic proportions. At least for Rory.

As for him, after that fateful Huntzberger family "shanghai," he'd never again found himself in a position where he had to defend Rory to his parents. Yes, there were a couple of times where he could've said something but -for various reasons - hadn't.

He'd been all ready to confront Mitchum following Rory's disastrous internship at the Stamford Gazette. But Rory had begged him not to say anything because she didn't want to cause a rift between him and Mitchum.

The following year Logan could've said something when Mitchum name-dropped Rory in his interview with the Wall Street Journal. That time it had been Rory who had wanted to confront Mitchum while Logan had taken a more pragmatic view.

More recently, Logan knew, Rory had been left disconcerted by their Mitchum encounter at The Dexter House last spring. Logan saw on her face how the flippant tone Mitchum had taken in response to her Naomi Shropshire book proposal had only further fed her insecurities. Not prepared for the encounter himself, Logan had done absolutely nothing to help the situation.

Fast forward and here they were.

Did Rory think Logan wouldn't defend her if it came down to it? He always would've defended her, if he had to. After the disastrous dinner, he and Rory had made a tacit, joint decision to be wusses, and avoid future Huntzberger showdowns. Rory understanding that she was Logan's to defend was especially important now since she and Lucas were his family. They were everything to him. Mitchum and Shira were just his parents.

If he and Rory hadn't avoided those encounters back then, maybe they'd have an easier time of it now. Rory wouldn't have demonized his parents in her head. Or, if she still regarded them as complete assholes- which he had to acknowledge was fair as they had pretty much always been assholes to her -at least she could've learned how to deal with them on her own terms.

As for him, he definitely wished he'd done some things differently. Being more demonstrably supportive of Rory, both for her benefit as well as for his parents to see. But he'd never been one to court family drama and Rory's tendency to lay low to avoid confrontations with his family had suited him just fine back then.

So what was the answer? Would he have to court Huntzberger family drama to prove something? Would defending Rory to Mitchum and Shira prove that he was serious about her, about their family? He wasn't an idiot. He knew that any chance he had at making this work depended on his ability to show Rory they could be together and remain true to themselves.

It was so cliched he grimaced. His life was a damn after-school special.

All of a sudden, his cell phone buzzed. Pulling it from his jacket pocket, he smiled at seeing who it was.

"Finn! Who ever said you were good for nothing? Perfect timing."

"My mum for one. Colin's last stepmum for another."

"Never out of 'your mother' jokes, huh?"

"Never out of your mother, Colin. Period."

"Haha. Funny. By that I mean it's not funny."

"Regressed to 'your mother' jokes since I left? Why can I barely hear Colin?"

"That's because Finn refuses to put his phone on speaker!"

"I told you: it degrades the sound quality. Logan, you know who else has excellent timing?"

"Who?"

"Logan Jr. The boy's timing was impeccable."

Logan chuckled. "Yes, it was."

"I haven't met him yet but he's already my favorite nephew."

"I'll let him know."

"As for his father, you really know how to mess up a party," snarked Finn.

Logan snorted. "Sub-party not helping?"

"Our fun consists of clandestine meetings with Honor and Josh."

"We're hiding in corners to avoid the Dark Lord and Endora. I had to keep Colin sober or he'd buy the hotel."

"And you wanna guess how Finn did that?"

"You got me. Breathalyzer-triggered electrodes?"

"No, but that's brilliant!" breathed Finn. "Do they have those? I want one. For myself."

"He drank everything, Logan. Everything. I have had nothing to take the edge off. Now your sister thinks I'm neurotic."

"Honor said there's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation couldn't cure," said Finn.

"She didn't say that."

"Oh, right. I said that."

Logan laughed at his friends' antics. It would, however, be nice to actually be able to hear them. "Can you switch the phone to speaker now?"

"Will you put the damn phone on speaker Finn?! How am I supposed to hear what Logan's saying? Not to mention I don't like hovering so close to you. I might catch something."

"You know you're the reason they put warning labels on everything," griped Finn.

"And everyone who's ever loved you was wrong. Will you just hit the speaker button?"

Logan heard silence and then a beep.

"Separate calls next time. I feel like an old married couple." Colin's voice came in noticeably louder.

"Listen, thanks for keeping things quiet." Logan knew it didn't need to be said which was exactly why he felt that he needed to say it.

"I've kept your secrets for 15 years -"

"For me it's more like twenty -" interrupted Colin.

"Why would I -we - start narcing on you now? Just when the secrets are getting good?"

"Touché. Where's Robert?"

"His panties are in a ruffle. Still got a soft spot for Rory. Better watch him. He might be fancying himself Logan Jr.'s future stepfather."

Logan rolled his eyes. He was reasonably certain Rory had finally come around to his way of thinking over the decade she'd known Robert and had accepted that he was -in fact - kind of a jerk. At least he hoped she had.

"So you're there for the long haul?"

"Yep. While the baby's still in the hospital I'll definitely be staying. I'm getting an apartment. Short-term rental."

"An apartment?" asked Colin.

"You really are settling in, aren't you? I guess the wedding's off then?" Finn observed.

"Does the bride know?"

Logan grinned at the dry humor in Colin's voice. "She knows. Talked to her last night. I doubt you'll be seeing her again."

"Her loss." Finn managed to sound slightly regretful. But Logan wasn't sure if it was because Odette would not be marrying Logan or because she would not be seeing the Finn and Colin again?

"If it's any consolation we only gave the marriage one year. Two tops."

Silent, Logan frowned as he heard Colin continue.

"She's high maintenance, Logan. Like a Porsche Boxster. But not nearly as much fun."

"Thanks. I guess."

"How's Rory? Logan Jr.?"

"Logan Jr.'s name is Lucas, Finn. He's doing well. He needs a little help with breathing. They're monitoring him. Giving him medications. But considering how it could've gone, we're really lucky."

"Rory?"

"She's doing well, too." He paused, thinking about Rory. "Worried about the baby but other than that, she's good. Very good."

"Now that Rory's a mum, you'll have to watch out that she becomes more like Lorelai."

Logan considered. Notwithstanding the fact that she disliked him, Logan had the utmost respect for Lorelai. "I don't think that would be bad thing."

"As long as you're not on the receiving end. She'll be a protective mama bear. Mark my words."

"Yeah, Finn. Remember when she yelled at us after Logan's accident?"

Rory yelled at Colin and Finn? Logan had absolutely no memory of that. "What are you talking about?"

"After Costa Rica. You were high on Demerol. Rory laid into us for not having your back during the jump."

"That's right! I blacked it out! Love yelling like that. She scared me."

"Honor thinks she shamed your dad into visiting you at the hospital. She said she talked to your dad and he insisted he wasn't going. She tells Rory about him refusing to come and next thing she knows your dad's at the hospital."

"Really?" Although Logan hadn't thought about the accident in Costa Rica in years, he still held on to the memory of his father's hospital visit as evidence Mitchum held some affection for him. It had never occurred to him that Rory could've been responsible for his father coming to see him.

"Who knows? So who does Logan Jr. take after? Snarky retorts like you? Or...?"

"Snarky retorts like Rory?" Colin snickered.

"I never noticed that," observed a perplexed Finn. "No wonder you two are perfect together."

"How could you not notice that? You really do have the attention span of a lightning bolt."

"Guys? No snarky retorts yet. Some exaggerated sighing. A little eye roll action. He's got Rory's eyes." Logan chuckled. "You do raise a good point. It's gonna be interesting watching - or hearing - him learn how to talk."

"With you and Rory as parents, Logan Jr. will probably be able to debate himself once he talks."

Logan chuckled at Finn's observation. Yes, hearing Lucas's first words would be something. Maybe it would be some bizarre Roryism.

"You two back together yet?" Colin finally asked the million dollar question.

Logan let out a sigh.

"Well, we're together on the same continent and we're often in the same room." Logan replied dryly. "I've told her I want us to get married."

"You've done that before. Did she come up with a different answer from before?"

Logan grinned. "She didn't flat-out say no."

"Congratulations. But I take it she didn't exactly say yes?"

"Love keeps you on your toes."

Logan laughed. "Yes, she does."

"So how're you gonna get Rory to agree to marry you?"

"Good question. I should probably do things differently, considering what didn't work in the past."

"Knocking her up was different."

"Thanks for that, Colin."

"Any time. You know, maybe to get Rory to say yes, you should consider WWMSD."

"Ah, Colin's right. What Would -"

"-Maxwell Smart Do? Well, that's easy. In the appropriately titled, 'The Impossible Mission' Maxwell Smart goes undercover as a trumpet player with Herb Talbot's Tijuana Tin – "

"Named Logan."

"You're kidding," interrupted Logan. "How do you remember that?"

"Lasting effects of a misspent youth. As well as several other decades."

"It's the last five minutes of the episode. As the villains pound on the doors of the room Max and Agent 99 have barricaded themselves in, Max says 'if we could get out of this trap, I'd marry you.' Agent 99 immediately suggests they try the old double door deception trick. It works and they escape. Later, Max asks 99 why she only thought of a way out after he'd proposed. She replied that she had more to live for after his proposal."

"Thanks for the 'Get Smart' recap, Colin. But how are you suggesting I use this? Barricade us in the hospital until she agrees to marry me?"

"Maybe you could hire someone to beat you up? If she fears you're in danger, she might go all protective mama bear again."

"Or you could knock her up again. One you can write off as an accident but two seems intentional. You could probably seal the deal at that point."

"Seriously? These are the best you got? I need smarter friends," Logan laughed.

"Jokes aside, Logan. The decision's Rory's to make."

"I liked your knocking her up suggestion better, Finn."

"Sorry, mate. You can still give it a go."

"Logan, she just needs time to get used to the idea."

"Yeah, I know. Everything you're saying - it's all stuff I tell myself. I know it's all true. Still can't help but feel impatient. Everything I want is right here. Close but still not quite..." Logan broke off. He knew he didn't need to finish the sentence.

After a brief silence, Colin picked up the conversational thread and set out in a new, more fun direction.

"So, when will you be ready for guests?"

"Yes, is Superman ready for Batman and Robin?"

"Finn, why do I always have to be Robin?"

"Are you serious? With all the whining and the worrying? You were born to be Robin. Robert can be Alfred. He's got the diction for it."

"Yes. And he's peripheral."

"Probably better to wait until Lucas is out of the hospital. Right now, everything revolves around hospital visits. I don't want the responsibility of having to babysit you two in a hospital."

"You could just leave us at your new apartment."

"Even worse. I could always bring you to the hospital and ask Emily to keep an eye on you."

"Emily?"

"Rory's grandmother?"

"Yeah."

"I think we'll wait."

"Let us know, Logan. We'll be there."

"Thanks. It'll be good to have you two around."

"Should we bring Robert?"

"Like I said, it'll be good to have you two around."

AN: I posted an entry about the "Get Smart" episode to my Livejournal page. Seriously Max's undercover name in the episode is 'Logan.' I have a hard time believing anything is a coincidence at this point. Also, she goes by many aliases on many websites but I must say thanks to Wendy for all her help with the reworked version of this fic.

06/03/2017