DAY 11

.

She hated feeling this doubt eating at her. Emmett had cancelled their skype session this morning, again; he was traveling. Again. How was this any different to how they'd lived before? He'd go away, sometimes catching her in the evening before he went to dinner, or in the morning after she ran, or not at all for a day or two. It was all very cordial each understanding how demanding each other's career could be. Was it that she just had too much time on her hands to suddenly consider every little thing he did? She never wanted to be the nagging girlfriend, she thought they were very modern, too evolved for petty bickering. No matter how she tried to get past it, that yellow room was still bothering her. She wanted to ask him about it. Maybe he was painting, and it was going to be a surprise? That could explain why he was so unkempt when she saw him last. He must be trying to do something nice, she almost convinced herself. But it would be very unlike Emmett to paint a room, he didn't like to get his hands dirty. She was going to drive herself crazy. During her talk with her parents last night, her mother, still not entirely convinced that Bella wasn't contagious through the computer, Renee asked the only thing she ever really cared about.

"Did Emmett propose yet?"

Her mother could never keep a secret. Emmett had had 'the talk' with her father last year—last year! And Renee called her almost immediately to spill the beans. It wasn't that she felt she needed a man to be complete, or that she needed a ring for a commitment, but if he had already spoken with her father and got his blessing, (another thing she didn't need; she'd decide if she would marry someone independent of her parent's opinion) what was he waiting for? While Bella didn't have the burning need to be wed that her mother seemed to, it still was aggravating to think he'd been thinking about marriage, but didn't discuss it with her, hadn't made another move. She knew he had plenty of money stashed away, so it wasn't a matter of buying a ring, which made her go to the only logical place—he'd changed his mind. Or, or…how many alternatives were there?

There wasn't anyone to talk to about it, her friends all had jobs during the day. She could never handle a rambling phone call about personal business during work hours, so she wouldn't inflict that on any of her friends. Maybe she could bounce it off Edward? He was a neutral party, right? Then again, he wasn't married or engaged either.

No. It was too embarrassing to discuss. She had graduated high school at sixteen as valedictorian, finished her undergrad in three years, and graduated with highest honors from medical school and received the Pediatric Scholar award. From the time her preschool teacher praised her for being the only reader in her class, to her perfect report card to her perfect SAT's, being smart was her thing. She wasn't the pretty girl, the popular girl, the athletic girl in school. Ask anyone, Bella Swan was the smart girl.

And Emmett was making her feel stupid. Had she been wrong about him all along or was his behavior a recent development? Was she overreacting, knowing that she was feeling something for Edward, and therefore projecting her guilt onto Emmett, and misreading his, probably, normal responses? They'd never been that cozy couple, always touching and kissing in public. One of his buddies had praised her, saying he wished his girlfriend would give him as much space. Was the space between them a sign of deep trust or was it lack of emotion? The one area she'd never devoted much time to was the art of relationships. Emmett was only the third man she'd dated, not counting the fumbles in the call room which she and her partner in lust decided to pretend never happened. Maybe what she had with Emmett was less of a relationship and more a mutually convenient arrangement. It had worked so far, but suddenly it felt so wrong.

She stared at the tile ceiling, wishing she wasn't so confused by her feelings for one man and her lack of feelings for another. That wasn't true, she corrected herself. She had plenty of feelings for Emmett at the moment, primarily anger and distrust.

She was relieved by the distraction of the blood draw, the first time in her life that she was happy someone was sticking her with a needle.

-21days-11-

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"Benster, so what do you do when you're not watching over the greatest threat to humanity?"

Ben chuckled. "What makes you think I ever stop watching?"

Edward leaned against his open doorway, which was allowed if no one else was walking through the corridor. He couldn't wait to see Bella. He noticed Ben smile while looking down the hall. He was pretty sure Ben had it as bad for Bella's guard as he had it for Bella. At least Ben could ask Angela out on a real date, instead of sitting in each other's rooms, watching old movies. Although that last movie had been pretty great, watching with his arm around the good Doctor Swan. He could get used to that.

The ladies arrived, one in scrubs, one in plastic. Cordial nods all around, then at last Bella was in his room, the door closed.

"What's up, Puddin' Cup?" He pulled her in for a hug. Edward liked the feel of her in his arms, beyond the fact that he was touching another human being, something he'd missed badly his first few days here. It wouldn't have been the same with Ben, or that female guard Ben had been flirting with. It was her, Bella, she felt right in his arms. She stepped back a little, looking him up and down.

"You're in a good mood."

"I'm going to be an Uncle!"

"Wow!" then she was hugging him, the first time she'd initiated it.

He lifted her and spun her around, but her foot knocked into the chair. He set her down but didn't loosen his grip. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, fine. That's great news!" Her eyes were shining, level with his only inches away. He never wanted to kiss someone so much before. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest, his hands had slipped down unconsciously to the curve of her hips. He needed to move as he felt the sudden trill of desire ripple up his cock. She did not need to feel that. He stepped back.

"Yeah, it's great." He ran his hand through the bristly fuzz on his scalp as he turned away from her towards the bed. "So my sister won't be visiting. I can't blame them." He sat quickly pulling the pillow into his lap, hoping the move looked smoother than it felt. "I'm going to be an awesome uncle."

"World class, no doubt." She took her spot at the end of the bed.

"Do you want kids?"

Her response was odd, she blinked a few times then looked away.

He leaned towards her. "Sorry, was that out of line? You know me, no filter. Sorry."

She waved her hand at him. "It's not you. I've just been thinking too much. About my future. I never had the luxury of so much time to think about me, you know?"

"So what have you been thinking?"

"You don't want to know."

"I do." He wanted to scoot over and put his arm around her, but that would not help the situation in his lap, and she was giving off a 'don't touch me' vibe. He sat back, pillow still firmly in place. "I got days and days to talk about it. Fess up, Bella."

"I never felt more like a girl than I do right now."

"And that's a bad thing? Cause you are definitely a girl." He gave an exaggerated perusal of her, from her stocking feet to her pony-tailed hair. "Yep, all girl."

"I didn't mean…" She smirked at him. "I didn't feel like a stupid teenager when I was a teenager, but now…"

He rolled his hand, signaling for her to continue.

"Emmett asked my father's permission to marry me last year. And that's it."

He couldn't help but feel a stab of disappointment at this news. He looked at her left hand. There wasn't even a faint impression of a ring, but of course it might have faded since many people in their field didn't wear rings on their fingers when working. Maybe she wore it on a chain as a necklace under her scrubs?

She blew out a long breath and crossed her arms. "He never asked me."

"He's an idiot."

"Well, I—"

"No, no! He's an idiot."

"Look, I don't want to talk about this, I shouldn't have brought it up—"

"He's buying time."

She looked up at him, her head tilted.

"Guys like to stake their claim—you know, like calling shot gun so you can ride in the front seat. He asked your dad to buy time, I'm guessing your mom or someone was hassling him, so he bought some time so he can keep looking."

"I don't think that Emmett is—"

"If Emmett's a guy, that's what he's doing. My brother-in-law said he couldn't wait to get a ring on Alice's finger, make sure everyone knew she was taken. He was dating another girl for a couple years, but broke it off when he met Alice. He knew."

"What about you? How long have you been dating that girl?"

"I don't even know. I don't care, that's the point. If she were to walk away I'd say 'Have a nice life'. I'm killing time with her. I got no intention of ever putting a ring on it."

"Does she know that?"

"I don't know."

"So you're no better."

"Not true. I don't live with her, and I sure as hell didn't talk to her father about her."

Bella pushed up from the bed, dragging the blanket as she stood. "I'm going to go back to my room."

"Don't go—please. We'll talk about something else."

"This." She pointed to herself and back to him, "Was supposed to be a professional arrangement, two colleagues exchanging ideas. I made a mistake—"

"No, not a mistake." He stood, blocking her way. He wanted to pull her to him, but he could tell it wouldn't be welcome.

"My personal problems…I have to figure things out. And I shouldn't be sitting in another man's bedroom while I do." She hit the intercom button. "Angela, I need to go back to my room."

.

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AN: I did label this angst, for those expecting them to jump straight to a HEA. I wrote the first draft of this while reading Pudding Cup by OhGeeFantasy , and that nickname just slipped out. Thanks for the many lovely reviews. Someone please remind me to never post a fic that updates daily over a long holiday weekend again. I will do it, but it's driving me zonkers.