Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls is the creation of Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Author's Note: Google "Maldiscontent" and "Inside the Monkey Habitat" for the floorplan and seating arrangement.
Chapter 26: Lunch with Friends, Part III
Hartford, Connecticut, 42 North Main, Saturday, May 20, 2017, 12:40 pm EST
Upon opening the apartment door, Logan's eyes, nose, and lungs were met by a cloud of billowing smoke. As predicted the latest arrivals were Colin and Finn. Logan noted with amusement that, while Colin was diligently puffing on a cigar, Finn was twice as diligently puffing on two cigars. John the doorman had returned, this time the well-used luggage cart was actually transporting luggage. Balanced precariously on a suitcase was a very large, very ornate crystal vase holding a couple dozen white roses adorned with dangling chandelier crystals and hanging miniature mirrored disco balls. He thought it looked familiar. He vaguely recalled saying something to the effect, "No, mom. That's too over-the-top. Even for you" when asked his opinion about the flowers. He sighed.
"Congratulations. Daddy!" Grabbing the two fat cigars with his left hand, Finn held his right out to Logan, who quickly accepted.
"Ah. Thank you, Finn. That will never stop being creepy."
Turning to his other friend, Logan offered his hand to Colin. "Colin."
"Congratulations, Logan."
"Where'd you get the flowers?"
"I picked them up at the hotel." Finn gestured. "Would you believe they were giving them away for free?"
"They were giving them away for free because the wedding was cancelled."
Logan winced at Colin's comment. And there was confirmation of his suspicions. Probably best to keep the cancelled wedding flowers out of the apartments.
"Finn. Why are you smoking two cigars? This is why people talk about you when you're not around."
"One of them is yours." He puffed again. "And I hope I give them better things to discuss."
"Why are you smoking my cigar?"
"Because it takes over an hour and we know you're on a tight schedule."
"They're Gurkhas, Logan." Colin held the cigar out to show it to Logan. "We had to hunt them down on the black market."
"Yes," concurred Finn as he continued to work at juggling the two extra-fat cigars in one hand. "I'll have you know we spent upwards of fifteen minutes scouring the seedy underbelly of Piccadilly Circus."
"Piccadilly Circus doesn't have a seedy underbelly." Logan pointed out.
"My God. Has no one ever taught you it's the thought that counts?" Finn closed his eyes and inhaled. "Smell that."
"Each wrapper's aged fifteen years," Colin informed Logan. "The binder and filler are aged for twelve."
"Not to mention the filler's infused with Louis XIII cognac. Only the best for you, mate."
Logan chuckled. "Thank you for getting me the best cigars. And thank you for doing such a good job smoking mine." Logan made eye contact with the doorman. "Come on. Let's unload the bags."
Logan pushed the apartment door open fully. John, pulling the baggage cart, followed Logan. Finn and Colin started to trail after them.
"Whoa, there. Groucho. Uncle Miltie. You can't smoke in the apartment."
"You're gonna leave us waiting in the hallway?"
"Like a couple of groupies?"
"Yes. People are eating in there. Just wait here a sec. I'll be right back."
Logan led John into the apartment, turning left at the hallway that branched off to the two guest rooms. At Logan's instruction, the doorman dropped off Colin and Finn's luggage. Logan, meanwhile, grabbed the flower arrangement. The two men then made their way back out to the external hallway.
"Thanks." After tipping the departing doorman, Logan made eye contact with his two furiously puffing friends. "You know it was ridiculous of you to bring this here." Logan's voice was hard as he gestured with his head at the centerpiece. Belatedly he realized he should've given it to the doorman to toss.
"I told him it was an idiotic thing to do." Colin scowled at Finn. "You're not pretty enough to be this stupid."
"I thought someone might enjoy it." Finn quirked his eyebrows and made a face.
All of a sudden, it clicked in Logan's head. Maybe there was something behind Finn's seemingly foolish act. If anyone could find amusement in the garish floral albatross his mother had selected for the wedding, it would be Rory. Pulling the apartment door shut, Logan started to walk towards the elevator.
"What? You really not inviting us in?" asked an indignant Finn.
"No. You can come in but we're smoking the stogies upstairs." Logan threw a backwards glance over his shoulder. "On the roof. Where there's ashtrays. And where no one's trying to eat. Besides. No one's up there so we can talk."
As Logan stepped into the elevator, Finn and Colin followed. After Logan swiped his card, the doors shut and the elevator started to rise.
"Good thinking, Logan." Colin nodded solemnly. "Finn. You can give Logan his cigar now."
"Here." Finn removed one of the cigars from his mouth and handed it to Logan, who found himself immediately being forced to juggle the World's Tackiest Flower Arrangement in one hand and the World's Fattest Cigar in the other.
"Thank you." Logan inhaled. "This is good." He silently prayed they'd make it to the roof before the elevator sprinklers were set off.
"Told you," replied Colin. "You're doing well with that. Maybe if you and Rory one day...you can be the one who carries the flowers."
Once the elevator stopped, Logan led his friends out onto the rooftop patio. Glancing around, he took in the space. He hadn't yet had an opportunity to see what the design team had managed to accomplish on the roof. What they'd managed to accomplish was impressive. A pool table, chaise lounges, gas grille, and all weather television above the bar. He laid the flower arrangement down on one of the tables.
"Nice." Colin glanced around the rooftop. "I could easily picture Finn living here."
"It is nicer than some of our lesser hotel chains."
"How'd you lose Robert?"
"We told him we were going to Minnesota," answered Colin.
"Why would you two go to Minnesota?"
"Why would anyone?" Finn shrugged.
"Good point." Logan took a puff. "Let's smoke to Robert. He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends."
"To Robert." Finn agreed. "His mother should've thrown him away and kept the stork."
"To Robert." Colin lifted his cigar. "Even his parrot won't speak to him."
"How'd you leave things in London?"
"We left the Dark Lord and Endora at the hotel with your sister and her Sherpa." Finn smirked.
"Why are you so hard on Josh?" Logan shook his head, laughing. "What else? The guests?"
"Everyone took off."
"Press release postponing the wedding came out," offered Colin.
"What did it say?"
"Absolutely nothing. Which is probably why that company of yours makes no money."
"Ouch. Very nice, Finn. What about the birth announcement? Know anything about that?"
"Not a thing," replied Finn.
"What's going on here?" asked Colin.
"Yeah. How're things with Rory?" asked Finn.
"Rory." Logan nodded, a tight grin on his face. "Rory's buying a house in Stars Hollow."
"That lovely enclave? I hope the house has plenty of uncle rooms."
"'Uncle' rooms? Planning on an extended visit?"
"It would serve my filmmaker credibility well to observe the new Ingmar Bergman in action," replied Finn.
"Maybe your pig can date his pig," said Colin.
"You don't have a pig." Logan looked at Finn then Colin.
"Logan, I could have a pig delivered in less time than it would take to have a pizza delivered."
Knowing Finn he was probably right. Logan took another inhale. "She didn't tell me about the house."
"Ah." Finn looked thoughtful at the revelation. "How'd you find out?"
"Lorelai. Not on purpose. She thought I already knew."
"What did Rory say when you asked her about it?" asked Colin.
"Haven't had a chance yet. Just found out. About thirty minutes before you got here."
"Ah." replied Finn. "Why do you think she kept it a secret?"
"I wish I knew."
"The list was probably not in your favor." Colin offered this opinion rather matter-of-factly.
Eyes squinted, Logan swung around to look at Colin. "What?"
"You know Rory. She probably made a list. It might've been close, but if there was one more reason to keep it quiet…"
"Probably didn't want you taking over," Finn commented with a dismissive wave of his hand.
Logan turned to Finn. Could that be it? Could it be as simple as that?
Thoughtfully, Logan inhaled another puff of his cigar. "And Old Friend Jess has returned."
"The loser from Philly?" Colin could always be counted upon to not mince words.
Logan hesitated momentarily before answering with an affirmative. "Yeah. The one from Philly. He's got some art house printing press. And apparently that qualifies him to edit Rory's book."
"He's editing her book?"
"He's giving her feedback." Logan inhaled. "I don't like it. She says there's nothing between them – and I believe her. At least, on her side. But, him? He's been hanging around the past six months."
"Because nothing quite says 'available' like being pregnant with another guy's kid."
"Exactly."
"You're not worried about him. Are you, Logan?"
Logan shrugged.
"Sounds like a modest little person."
"Yes," agreed Finn. "And with much to be modest about."
Logan caught Finn and Colin exchanging a glance. In the brief moment of silence, a new voice suddenly echoed across the rooftop.
"Gentlemen! Is that a cigar in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?"
"Rory, love. I don't think I can answer that honestly."
"What? Why not?"
"Logan's been hitting the gym. While I've been hitting the gin." Finn laid his cigar down in an ashtray as Rory approached from the stairwell door. He embraced her as she finally came to a stop before them. "How are you? Bit busy. I hear."
"Yes. Definitely busy."
"You look beautiful."
"Finn, I look like I've been scrubbed on a washboard, twisted and wrung, and then hung out to dry."
"Oh, no. Your skin makes me cry."
"Now that's just creepy."
"Well, I still think your complexion is lovely. I recommend you keep up with your beauty regiment."
"Okay. I will stick with three and a half hours of sleep and being too exhausted to exfoliate. Colin. It's good to see you."
Still smiling, Rory pulled away from Finn to hug Colin, who'd also laid his cigar in an ashtray at Rory's approach.
"Rory. Finn's right. You look great," commented Colin. "Oh. And, while admittedly it might be construed to be a bit phallic - us basking in the oral delights of seven and a half inch cigars in our mouths -"
"Seven and a half? Mine was eight and a half. Logan's was at least nine." Finn winked at Rory as he returned to puffing on his Gurkha.
Rory, still grinning, looked back and forth between the two of them. Logan didn't take his eyes from Rory.
"I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing phallic about that. At all."
"You tell 'em, Ace."
"We're only doing it to celebrate you and Logan's new status as parents and Lucas's arrival." Colin picked up his cigar and resumed smoking.
"Where's mine?"
"Are you kidding?"
"You want one, love?" Finn glared at Colin. "See? I knew we should've let that gypsy have her way with you. I'm sorry love. We only got the three. But we can pick up more. Provided Colin can be persuaded again to give up his virtue."
"Finn. We'll have to venture into the seedy underbelly of New Haven after lunch."
"While New Haven does have a seedy underbelly, I don't think you're gonna find your $1,500 cigars there," mused Logan.
"You spent that much money on those big smelly things?"
"No."
"Yes."
Colin and Finn answered simultaneously.
"I've spent more on bigger smellier things, love."
"Ew. Some things are best left unsaid."
"You know, Rory," Colin held his cigar and looked at it affectionately. "Stuffing a fat stogie into the mouth of a new father has been a bromantic oral tradition since the days of Ricky Ricardo and Fred Mertz."
"And there's another one."
"Love, despite the titillation and fascination of the American press," Finn paused then to clear his throat loudly and throw a playful glare at Logan, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
"Hm," Logan sputtered in laughter; Rory seemed unconvinced. "You guys should put those out and come downstairs. We have a ton of food." Rory's eyes met Logan's. "And you. You left a plate of food."
"Sorry for the sub-party, Ace. The guys were already lit upon arrival. Figured it'd be better to come up here for a few than smoke inside with folks trying to eat."
"Well, you should all come down. My mom wants to know how old you were when you started walking."
"Me?" asked Finn.
"No. Logan. I think we're betting on whether Lucas will walk before his first birthday."
"Logan was eighteen," answered Colin. "I remember like it was yesterday."
"You sure?" posed Finn. "Maybe it was yesterday."
"Cute. I'd actually believe that of you before I'd believe it of Logan. I've seen firsthand your aversion to walking."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ace."
"Anytime, Huntzberger."
"Logan was probably running at less than a year just to get away from the Dark Lord and Endora." A slightly uncomfortable pall fell over the group at the mention of Logan's parents. Finn wasted no time before jumping into a new topic. Hardly a safer topic thought Logan. "You see the flowers I brought you, love?" Finn pointed to the World's Tackiest Flower Arrangement.
Colin snickered. "He stole them from the hotel. You should know. They were for the wedding."
"Ew. Finn. Poor taste."
"The flowers? Or giving them to you?"
"Giving them to me!"
As Logan watched Rory took a longer look at the World's Tackiest Flower Arrangement. Making a face, she laughed. "You know something? You're right. Those flowers are pretty bad. With the white roses and the crystals and the tiny mirrored balls. It's Celine Dion, Liberace, and 1970s John Travolta reincarnated as a floral arrangement. Tell me it wasn't Shi-"
"It was Endora. Of course."
"Of course."
"See, Logan? Love appreciates the memento in the spirit in which it was given."
"Were you guys gonna dress like John Travolta?"
"No. Give me a little credit, Ace."
"Did you like your chocolates, love?"
"I did. Thank you."
"Did Logan Jr. like his five foot bear?"
"Logan Jr. is a five foot bear."
"What?"
"I named the bear Logan Jr. The baby's name is Lucas Richard."
"Yes, Mother," nodded Finn.
Rory shot significant looks first to Finn; then to Logan. Seeing her glare, Logan shook his head, smiling.
"Don't look at me. He's calling me 'Daddy'."
"Oh. Yeah. That's worse."
"Tell me about it."
"So you guys know the baby's still in the hospital? I'm afraid it's just family who can visit right now."
"Yes, we understand Logan Jr. - uh - Lucas Richard is making his audience wait. We're prepared to wait."
"So, you two are sticking around?"
"Yeah," answered Colin simply. "Of course."
"Wouldn't dream of leaving now, love."
"Thank you." Rory smiled. "So what happened to Robert?"
"Does it matter?" posited Colin. "Let's just enjoy it while we can."
"Yes. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go." Finn agreed.
"I'm texting him and telling him to come."
"Don't you dare!"
"No!"
"Ace!"
"Fine. I'll wait. But I am gonna text him."
AN: Thanks for reading.
08/02/2017