Summer of Our Discontent

Dirty Picture

"Well Link, you certainly move on fast." Karane said, snickering.

Pipit immediately frowned at his partner, not liking her implications at all. It made Link wonder just how much he still cared for Zelda. Unconsciously, his arms tightened around her form, he didn't even care that her perky mounds were squished against his chest and how inappropriate it looked out of context. He felt… possessive.

"This isn't what it looks like…" Zelda murmured, her voice frail from pure mortification.

"We won't tell Malon, if that's what you're worried about." Karane said reassuringly.

Pipit narrowed his eyes, his usual composure seemingly cracking as he continued to drink in the scandalous image before him.

"To me Zelda, it looks like you're wrapped up in your best friend's ex-boyfriend's arms… Naked. Now, I'm not one to judge, especially not you, but this doesn't look good."

"You should probably put that back on…" Link said, gesturing towards her bikini top with his head. She nodded and let go of him reluctantly, completely unaware of the fact that he secretly didn't want to let her go either. He closed his eyes politely while she tied her top back on and made sure it was secure and snug on her body.

Zelda turned to face Pipit and Karane with her swimsuit properly adjusted.

"I'm not naked, and this isn't what it looks like." Zelda said nervously, "Link started tickling me, and then my swimsuit top came undone. That's it. That's all that happened. We weren't… doing anything else. I mean, I've never…"

"I know you haven't." Pipit said pointedly, "But I can't say the same thing for you." He looked at Link when he finished his sentence.

Link frowned, not liking how his buddy was throwing him under the bus like this.

"Hey man, I wouldn't do that. I mean, sure, Zelda and I haven't been arguing too much lately, but that doesn't mean we're suddenly friends."

Karane arched an eyebrow, skeptical at his claim.

"Then what are you two?" She asked.

"Nothing!" Zelda said suddenly. "I mean… that isn't important right now."

"Wait. If your top 'accidentally' came off, then why were you guys hugging?"

"Well, I didn't want anyone to see my 'assets.'" Zelda said embarrassedly.

"So why didn't you just cover your chest with your hands?" Pipit asked, stepping forward.

Link couldn't suppress his overwhelming need to roll his eyes at this comment.

"AAH! Can we stop with these questions!" Zelda yelled, startling all of her friends. Though he DID have a good point. Why was her first instinct to hug Link?

"Okay. Sure, whatever…" Pipit muttered, turning away.

Zelda frowned, getting out of the hot tub and drying herself hastily so she could have a moment to talk to him. Link watched her prance off, rolling his eyes once more before turning to Karane.

"You know, I really don't get those two." Link said, sounding a bit jealous when he said it.

Karane smirked.

"Yeah. That's what we all say about you and Zelda."

"I know we get ourselves into awkward situations, but there's nothing going on between us."

"Not yet at least."

"Stop that. I'm serious."

"Okay, I'm just saying… you better claim what's yours, lover boy. Or else," She pointed her thumb back at Zelda who was trying to talk to Pipit, "he might just claim it for you."

Now it was Link's turn to raise an eyebrow. He wasn't sure of what stage of 'flirtationship' Karane and Pipit were at, but just a few weeks ago Karane would have been ready to murder Zelda if she even tried to steal a glance at Pipit. Why was she so lenient, even joking, about it now?

"Weren't you playing tongue hockey with him ten minutes ago?"

Karane blushed, momentarily at a loss of words.

"You saw that?"

"You bet I did."

"Okay, okay. I'm not thrilled with the thought of them being together either. But there's a very clear difference between you and Pipit."

"And what's that?"

"YOU are a slut. Don't even try to deny it. You have a reputation for getting around with the ladies."

Link arched an eyebrow.

"What? I can't help it if women love me, and if I love women. And I think it's a bit ironic to call me a slut when I remained faithful to my girlfriend. She's the one who cheated on me."

"Do you still care about her?" Karane prodded, her tone shifting from playful and teasing to earnest and concerned.

"Not like that. If she's happy, that's cool… I guess. I'm not ready to forgive her though."

"You know, you're going to have to return her calls sometime. It's either now, or later."

"I choose later." Link said quickly, "I'd rather not hear how her relationship with hair gel is working out."

Karane snickered.

"Hair gel? I swear, you two have new nicknames for each other every time I talk to you."

Link smirked, eying Zelda curiously when she walked back looking rather content with Pipit, who looked a lot happier as well.

"There's only one thing you two could have been doing that's making you guys smile like that." Link said.

"You're gross." Zelda replied with a light blush, shoving him with her arm.

"We talked, that's all." Pipit said assuredly, walking over to stand next to Karane.

"I explained everything and since Pipit is so kind and understanding, there aren't any problems. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the gift shop."

"The gift shop?" Link asked.

"Yep. They have all sorts of cool stuff there. But what I really want to buy is the replica of Zora's Sapphire. It's gorgeous! I'd invite you to come with me Link, but I know you don't have any rupees." Zelda said, walking off and giving him a tiny wink.

Link bit his lip. Zelda had never winked at him before, and there was a tugging sensation in his stomach that yearned for her to do it again.

Rather indignantly, he followed her.

"What's that supposed to mean? I have plenty of rupees!" He chased after her.

By the time Link caught up with his feisty blonde companion, she was already observing all the trinkets and baubles that the gift shop had to offer.

"Goodness gracious Zelda, this crap is expensive."

"Don't call it crap." She scolded, "And I knew your wallet wouldn't be able to handle it. That doesn't matter. They have one more replica in stock, and I'm gonna buy it!" She said with a look of determination on her face.

Right as she was heading to the cashier, a loud shriek could be heard from outside.

Startled, Link and Zelda both turned around to see flurries of browns, reds, and purples invade the 'peaceful' spa. The harmony and sanctity of Zora's Domain had been put on hold. Gerudos by the hundreds were piling in.

"Let's get out of here," Link said, grabbing Zelda's arm immediately. He looked back at her and she nodded nervously. But before they could escape, a Gerudo came into the store with a malevolent look on her face. In her hand was a large and deadly scimitar, and her face was veiled, though her golden eyes held an evil glint.

"Everyone get down!" She bellowed.

Zelda whimpered, getting down to her knees and huddling close to Link. She was scared, and she knew that he was the only symbol of comfort she had at the moment.

"What the hell is going on?" She whispered to him.

His hands were now wrapped securely around her waist.

"Gerudo raid. Whenever they leave the desert, they choose different villages to steal from. Don't worry, they're pretty harmless. Unless you don't give them what they want."

"Pretty harmless? Link… L-look!" She pointed at the Gerudo, who was holding an employee against her chest with the scimitar placed snugly around her neck.

"Give me your most valuable souvenirs or else I slit this bitch's throat." She said menacingly. The Zora who had been managing the cash register was about ready to burst into tears. And when Zoras cried, they cried.

Link sighed, looking down at Zelda worriedly.

"Okay… Sometimes they can be a bit of a scare. Is this seriously your first raid though?"

"I didn't know this was a thing!" Zelda hissed. "They never raid Castle Town by the hundreds!"

"Yeah, because that'd be suicide. You should really get out more, princess." He nicknamed her, enjoying the frown on her face.

"I don't think this is an example of why I should get out more. Now, what are we going to do?"

"We're going to run out of here and find Pipit and Karane, that's what we're going to do."

"But what about all of the other Gerudos out there!?"

"Just throw rupees at them. If they see you and you throw money or valuables, they won't try to hurt you. I promise. Plus, since you're so rich and I'm so poor, you can throw for the both of us." He squeezed her hips gently, urging her to crawl with him towards the door.

"You're such a cheap bastard." Zelda said miserably.

"I know." And it was his turn to give her his own seductive wink.

"You know, I love these raids very much. But…" Nabooru stopped herself.

Ganondorf looked at her curiously.

"But what?"

"Nothing." She said, regretting she even attempted to bring it up.

Kiss me, you idiot.

While she loved their large scale raids she hated how he had teased her on the roof. She wanted a moment alone with him for at least three seconds… Or three minutes. The latter was obviously more appealing, and they could make up for lost time. However, as the heir to the Gerudo throne, Ganondorf had to be the one to lead the raid, which meant that there were more important matters to attend to than Nabooru's raging hormones.

"Okay then." Ganondorf said with a shrug, turning back to observe the aquatic haven as though she hadn't tried to bring anything up. "You know, we could snag a lot of stuff here. They have those lemon scented soaps that you love, and I could hustle one of those hot masseuses into giving me a massage."

Nabooru felt her cheeks heating up.

"There are plenty of girls back home that could give you a massage. I don't know why you'd ask some fish to do it for you."

"Yeah, but the girls back home aren't professionals, if you know what I mean." Ganondorf snickered at his innuendo.

"You're gross." Nabooru said giving him a glare filled with both disgust and undeniable jealousy. She shoved past him and unsheathed her scimitar. "I'm gonna go grab some of those soaps you were talking about. Have fun demeaning all the women you can find."

"Nabooru…" Ganondorf said, a tone of disbelief in his voice.

What the hell's gotten into her? He thought to himself, immediately running after her.

"Zelda, would you calm down? We're going to be fine, the more we run, the closer we'll get to the exit. Don't give up now."

Ganondorf froze, turning and peeking his head out of the corner, behind one of the many venues around Zora's Domain. He saw two familiar Hylians trying to escape the raid unscathed, which was admittedly easy. The Gerudos were hated by many, but they rarely ever did any actual killing to their 'victims.'

"Jackpot…" he whispered to himself when Link wrapped his arms around Zelda protectively, trying to comfort her. He took his phone out, opening up the camera to get the money shot.

Click!

Now he had two pictures that he could definitely use to his advantage. He wasn't sure of how he would be able to use them, but if he had the help of a certain female companion it wouldn't be hard to figure out. Now he just had to convince Nabooru to not be angry with him. He scampered off, looking around all the shops and boutiques trying to find his best friend.

"Nabooru!" He called when he saw her exiting a fragrance shop with a bag full of lotion. She jumped, clearly startled and dropped all of her lotions clumsily. Turning around, she immediately glared when she saw who it was.

"Don't even bother trying to help me." She said, turning back and bending over to pick up her loot.

"Fine by me." He said smugly, enjoying the view she was giving him.

Once she stood back up and had all of her stuff within her bag once more, she turned around and smacked him.

"I don't know why you're acting like such a pervert, but I really don't appreciate it."

"Is that why you're mad at me? We were perfectly fine back when we were at that little girl's ranch. Did something happen?"

Nabooru stared at him for a long time, wondering if he remembered exactly what he had done to her, or if he was playing dumb. Either way, she felt like she had been manipulated in some form, and she just wanted to go home.

"No, Ganondorf. Nothing happened. I'm just tired, okay? I want to go home."

"Do you want to hang out when we get back, at least?" He asked, almost feeling desperate for her attention.

Nabooru took a moment to think about her response.

"Why should I?"

Ganondorf couldn't keep a grin from spreading across his face. Saying nothing, he simply threw his phone at her. She caught it effortlessly and looked at the picture on it. She gasped when she realized it was Zelda and Link hugging each other rather intimately.

Damn it. She thought to herself. Ganondorf was always finding ways to wreak havoc on Link and his friends, and as Ganondorf's best friend, it felt as though it were her obligation to accompany him on these escapades.

"I guess I'll forgive you… just this once." She said with a light smile on her face, and together they began their trek back to the desert.

A few hours later…

Nabooru was lounging on Ganondorf's bed, looking at the pictures while he prepared platters with grapes, apples, and other delicacies like deviled cucco eggs for them to eat.

"Why don't you get one of your servants to do that for you?" She asked, looking up at him.

"You mean the female servants with the skimpy clothing that always flirt with me? That's why you're mad, isn't it?" Ganondorf finished preparing the food and headed towards her, taking up his spot on the bed. "I'd rather not take my chances or you might ignore me for a week."

"I don't mind them flirting with you, I just don't like you being a creep about it."

"Bullshit." He said, popping a grape into his mouth and offering her a piece of food.

She took it and rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. We're not here to discuss you and other women. I'm genuinely interested in these pictures. So is there like… a girlfriend swap going on or something?"

"I think so. All I know is that Link and Zelda had been hanging out with each other at the spa before the raid happened. They had to be, next thing you know he's all over her, and she certainly wasn't pushing him away."

Nabooru smirked, "So what exactly do you plan on doing with this information?"

"I'm not sure yet. But whatever I decide, it'll cause some chaos for sure."

"We're finally back… Thank the goddesses." Zelda said, looking toward Link graciously. They were in the heart of Castle Town with a couple of bruises here and there, but no serious injuries.

"See? That wasn't so bad."

Zelda chose not to respond to that comment, simply rolling her eyes.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to call Karane and Pipit and make sure they're okay as well. There wasn't a fatality count, so that's hopeful, right?"

Link gave her a thumbs up and she smiled at him before walking off to a quieter spot. He stared at her a little longer until his own phone began ringing. He looked down and noticed he was getting a phone call from Malon. With a sigh he rejected it almost immediately, putting the phone away with a frown on his face.

Zelda came back to him a few minutes later.

"They're okay!" She said happily.

"That's fantastic." Link said, truly meaning it, though he sounded as though he couldn't care less.

"What's wrong?" Zelda asked.

"It's nothing." He said, brushing it off. Just because he and Zelda hadn't immediately gone back to their usual banter didn't mean that they were the best of friends all of a sudden. But surprisingly, she wasn't going to accept his "it's nothing."

"No, don't do that. Something's bothering you. Tell me what it is."

Link sighed.

"Malon called me again."

Zelda raised an eyebrow.

"I know you said you weren't ready to forgive her, but Link, if she's still calling you, you need to talk to her."

"Well, what am I supposed to say? She cheated on me with a guy that I hate. And now she wants to act like none of it ever happened."

Zelda looked away for a moment, then grabbed his hand.

"Come on, let's sit down for a moment."

Zelda noticed the skepticism on his face as he focused on her hand intertwined within his.

"Just trust me, okay? I trusted you to get me out of Zora's Domain, can you listen to me now?"

Link nodded reluctantly and she led him to a bench, gesturing for him to sit down.

"You remember that legend about the hero that killed poes centuries ago?"

"…Yeah. What about it?"

"Those poes held onto souls, and those souls were released once they died. The souls belonged to people, some were venerable, some were not. And who knows who those people were? Some of them were benevolent, kind, and earnest. Others were liars and manipulators. It doesn't really matter what their lives were like before they died. They all had something in common."

Link continued to nod, interested in what point she was trying to make.

"They all couldn't move on from something in their life. They were holding onto something that kept their soul from moving on to the afterlife, and as a consequence they had to suffer in an in-between state."

"Zelda, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She rolled her eyes.

"Of course you don't. You're an idiot. Look, Malon isn't over how things ended between you two, and neither are you. If you were, you wouldn't be upset with her calling you, and you wouldn't be rejecting her calls. I don't know what's going to happen with your guys' relationship. I don't know if she'll beg for you back, or if you guys will agree to not talk to each other anymore, or if you'll actually end up together aga –"

"That's definitely not happening." Link interrupted stubbornly.

"Fine, you two won't be getting back together. But if you keep on avoiding her, you guys will be stuck in this in-between stage of friends and enemies."

"Oh. You mean kind of like us?" Link asked.

Zelda's eyes widened for a split second.

"No... I don't even, urgh. This isn't about us, so don't go there. Look, this is going to sound incredibly awkward… for me at least, but seeing you act all glum over Malon isn't my favorite thing in the world. And I'm not going to condone what she did at all even though I love her to death, but you both need to fully move on from this. Please, just talk to her."

Link smiled suddenly, looking down at his phone.

"You know, my mom was right."

"About what?" Zelda asked.

"About you. You really are smart."

"So… you'll talk to her?"

"After you took the time to tell me all that, do you really think I have any reason not to?"

Zelda shook her head.

"Good luck." She said, before walking away to give him his own moment of privacy.

Slowly, he dialed his ex-girlfriend's number and pressed call.

"Hello? Malon? Yeah, it's me. Wanna meet up and talk?"

A/N: *Says that I'll try to update before September ends*

*All of a sudden it's 2016*

Okay guys, I'm a horrible person and an even worse 'updater.' So if you're mad at me for not giving this story the attention it deserves… Well, don't hold back. Because this definitely wasn't worth the wait. *insert laughing/crying emoji here because it describes my feelings perfectly*

Anyways, there IS some good that can come from all the bad. As in, I'm updating this soon. VERY soon. Like next week. I have the entire next chapter all written up, all I need to do is find a good song for it and then make you guys wait for a couple of days because I'm evil like that. I love you guys. Thanks for the reviews and PMs and favorites and follows.

See you next week! C;

OH. AND HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS LMAO.

Chapter Sixteen Theme Song: Dirty Picture

Artist(s): Taio Cruz ft. Kesha

(That song is such a throwback.)