Urgh this was some chapter... Somewhere in the middle I decided to change the point of view and had to rewrite it partly. Next to that it had a lot of small scenes already written out I had to somehow connect in a way it made sense.

Also on a side note, I had a very interesting thought when I watched the episode of Fishlegs became Thor Bonecrusher. Snotlout actually falls in love with him, as in he falls for the personality not the looks! Really didn't see that in Snotlout before, but I for some reason like it XD. Anyway enjoy the story, while I work on chapter 11 (seriously, I'm working on it right now).

[carl solo] Glad you like it and yes I will continue the story. At points I might be slow though.

[VenomousFantum] We're getting close to the part where he gets his memory back.

Chapter 10 Hidden Memories

Astrid stretched her arms as she walked down the last few steps of the stairs, Hiccup short behind her. Their breakfast was already on the table and Astrid gave her mother a thankful smile before sitting down. Her mother placed a cup of water down for Hiccup who rubbed some sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hand. Astrid expected a cup of water herself, but instead got something that had a funny yet familiar smell and steam coming from it.

"What is this?" she asked confused as she studied the liquid.

"Just drink it, honey, it will do you good," her mother smiled at her.

Astrid wasn't sure of it and tried to remember where she had smelled this scent before, but couldn't recall. Eventually she shrugged, it wasn't like her mother was trying to poison her. She took a small sip and tasted several herbs. Perhaps it was something to ease the pain next week when her period would come, she had been complaining about it to her mother and searching for something to ease the pain.

She looked over to Hiccup who had his head leaning on his hand and it almost seemed like he was about to fall asleep. He clearly wasn't a morning person. Astrid watched her mother walk up to the boy with a wet cloth which she then placed on Hiccup's face. He let out a yelp and jumped up.

"Sorry dear, but time for sleeping is over," her mother smiled at him, while Astrid chuckled.

"I'm up, I'm awake," he quickly said and started eating as to proof he really was.

Astrid started on her breakfast as well, still a smirk on her face.

"So what are your plans for today?" her mother asked as she continued with her usual chores, including cleaning up the dishes, checking what food had to be bought and sweeping the floors for now.

"Since yesterday proved to be unsuccessful," Astrid started and saw Hiccup starting to look a little depressed, "I was thinking about going to his place… well Stoick's really."

She ended in a mumble avoiding her mother's eyes, already knowing she wouldn't approve.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea," her mother said just as Astrid had predicted.

"Well, got any better ideas? It is where he grew up."

Astrid looked over to her mother, who shook her head after a moment. So thirty minutes and a discussion about leaving the dragons behind later, Astrid and Hiccup made their way to the chief's home. Hiccup looked rather uncertain about this idea. She couldn't blame him, he was in prison because of him and after what she overheard him say, she knew she couldn't trust him. Letting out a sighing, not keen on this either, Astrid knocked on the door of the chief's house. There was some noise and then the door swung open, revealing the chief… in a terrible mood. The moment he spotted the two of them, it seemed to worsen.

"What do you want? Does he have his memories back?" he said, his voice leaking annoyance.

"No, but this was his home, so I thought maybe something in here would trigger his memories," Astrid said firmly and to the point.

The man seemed startled for a moment, but then nodded stepping aside. Much to the two's surprise. Astrid stepped inside, quickly followed by Hiccup. After telling them not to break anything Stoick announced he had work to do and slammed the door as he left. Astrid saw Hiccup wince at that and wondered how often the chief had done so when he was still a kid.

For a while the two walked around as Astrid silently hoped there was at least something here that would trigger his memory, but nothing gave it away on Hiccup's face.

Hiccup sighed as he placed the big mug down again. Nothing here seemed familiar, in fact it seemed like he had never lived here at all. There really wasn't anything that would give it away at least.

"Let's try upstairs," Astrid then suggested and was already half way up.

He followed her and looked around if he recognized anything, if only the smallest object. But just like downstairs, nothing seemed familiar. He walked around slowly, looking at each item in the room, hoping that maybe something would trigger his memories.

The room was rather big, bigger than Astrid's, but there was less stuff in it, making it seem even bigger. In the middle there was a bed, with the sheets still half hanging over the end and edge. As he came closer he touched it and noticed the dust. The sheet hadn't been moved in years. His eyes drifted to the desk in the room. A messy pile of books was stacked on it. Hiccup walked over to it and looked at the book titles as he picked them up. They were all related to either politics, old stories or history of Berk, but mostly politics. Pieces of paper were scattered over the desk as well, and many were on the floor around the desk. Some with runes, some with drawings and some were still empty. Nothing seemed to help him remember anything at all, though the handwriting was his and the drawings too. He knew that because of the other writing he saw, like the note Gobber showed him. With a sigh he sat down on the dusty chair near the desk and looked at the floor.

"Nothing huh," he heard Astrid say and he shook his head as reply.

He heard her walk around a bit, probably taking in the room as he had.

"I've never been here before," she mutter, "I wonder if you have any hidden places."

Hiccup watched her look under the bed and wondered why she would even look for hidden places. Not that he remembered if he had any.

She started experimenting with the floorboards, checking if there was a loose one and looked disappointed when she found none. Hiccup focused back on the floor as he tried once more to recall any kind of memory as she started inspected the walls and even the desk he was sitting at. She pushed him aside so she could inspect the wooden furniture, making him almost fall. It was then he noticed the scratches on the floor from moving the chair. Something very normal and would probably be seen anywhere where chairs were often moved. However, because of this little observation and his traveling eyes he found another spot that had marks of moved furniture. Frowning a little he stared at the floorboards near the bed, right in front of the nightstand. Something had moved there. It really could be anything, perhaps he was sick a lot and a chair stood there, the chair he was now sitting on. Curiosity took over quickly and he resolutely stood up, dragging the chair with him to the specific spot. Astrid watched him in confusion as he positioned the chair and looked to see if his theory of a chair being there was just proven.

Hiccup kneeled down and studied the marks and the position of the legs of the chair. But it didn't match. Something was moved exactly the other way then one would expect a chair near the bed to move. Also the markings were too small, too in one place to be of the chair.

"What are you doing?" Astrid asked and stepped next to him, now seeing the markings as well.

Hiccup gave no reply as his eyes drifted to the night stand. Analyzing and calculating what it might look like when that piece of furniture was moved he came to the surprising conclusion the distance between the short legs of the thing where exactly right. The scratch marks started right where the legs stopped. He pushed the chair out of the way and put both his hands on the night stand, pulling it as he walked backwards. The pattern on the floor matched. Mystery solved, he thought smiling a bit. Though that wasn't entirely true. He didn't know why the night stand was often moved for example.

Astrid again studied the floorboards and even the wall, but found nothing.

"Darn, here I thought you found out what your secret hiding spot is."

Hiccup again made no reply, but simply decided to study the night stand. He let his fingers run across the wood on the back. Carefully, though adding pressure to see if something moved. When his fingers ran over the side of a piece of wood that would keep the backboard in place, it moved a little. Encouraged, Hiccup put more pressure on it and the piece fell on the floor, making him jump and Astrid looked at it with widened eyes.

"So that's where it is," she smiled broadly.

Hiccup wondered about that, it might as well be some piece that might be loose. Yet, when he moved the board a bit, pieces of paper and some sort of notebook appeared. Apparently it was his secret hiding spot. He took the items and stared at a detailed sketch of Toothless. Feeling Astrid's presence now next to him once more.

"This looks amazing," she whispered in awe.

"Hm, I better put it all back."

"What? No, it's all yours. Maybe there's something in the notebook that helps you remember."

Hiccup felt like he was invading someone's privacy, but Astrid was right, these things were his.

"Okay, fine, but I'm not going to read it here," he stated and left no room for arguing as he put the night stand back together and on its rightful place.

"Let's go, I've seen enough here," he mumbled and already rushed down the stairs.

Astrid let out a frustrated growl and went to gather her axe. Even with the knowledge of the balance of her old and her new axe, her muscles seemed to be stuck in the old habit. A frown formed on her face as she realized she should have trained with different axes more, perhaps even weapons. It also made her wonder how in the world she had managed to throw the bola at Hiccup and Toothless, when her aim was off. Perhaps because it was a bola and not an axe?

She picked up the piece of metal and looked over to the beach where Hiccup was seated in the sand. After finding the journal they had decided to go to some place quiet so he could read it. To give him some privacy she was practicing with her axe, though still keeping an eye on him just in case. It has been a while since they got here, she wasn't sure how long though.

Back in position, closer to her target, Astrid took her time to weigh the axe and let it sink in what the balance was like. Then she threw it at her target, which was a mere three steps away. It hit, not the center, but at least she hit it this time. A grin crossed her face. Now she just needed to hit the center first before adding some more distance. Three attempts later, without a lot of luck with getting closer to the center, she heard Hiccup let out something that sounded mostly like a frustrated dragon growl. Facing in his direction, she was just in time to see the journal fly through the air. Pieces of paper falling out along the way before the book dropped in the sand.

Immediately she understood something was wrong and gathered her axe, putting it on her back as she ran over. She came to a halt near the journal and picked it up. Sand fell out. Some pages were folded. Carefully she put the pages right and then gathered the few pages that were floating over the beach. It were the drawings of Toothless. She carefully put them back in the notebook and then walked over to Hiccup who had dug his head in his arms which were laying on his knees that were pressed to his chest. She didn't need to say a word, he already spoke before she sat down next to him.

"I'm don't want to remember any of that," he said and sounded frustrated, angry and sad.

Astrid dropped in the sand before looking at the journal once more. She really wondered about the content of it that apparently had upset Hiccup to the point he didn't want to remember anything.

"Hiccup, you have to re-" she started but was cut off by him.

"Why?! Why do I have to remember any of that?!" he shouted at her whilst glaring, "I see no point in remembering! Why would I want to remember how people liked to treat me as dirt, something to laugh at, someone to blame for all their problems?!"

He stood up and walked away from her. Astrid looked from Hiccup back to the journal in her hands. Then, when she looked at Hiccup again, she noticed he was not just walking away from her, but was going back to the village. Although she wondered why he would do so after apparently his journal said people treated him as dirt, which she knew was true. Nonetheless she quickly jumped to her feet and followed him. As they walked back to the village she attempted to convince him that he had to remember, but every time was cut short by his words or a glare. By the time they the first houses were visible she had given up and simply followed him. To her surprise he walked straight to her house, but once inside he went straight up the stairs.

Sighing she placed the notebook on the table and climbed the stairs, finding him in his bed of furs and blankets. His back turned towards her.

"There is more to your memory than just-" she attempted one more time.

"Would you stop it! Read it yourself and then try again!" he shouted at her and threw the blankets over his head.

"Hiccup."

"Go away."

Astrid stared at his back. For a moment she opened her mouth, to try once more, but the words never left her lips. Worried and a little hurt, but understanding she turned away from him and went downstairs.

It was about an hour or so later when her mother came home, giving her a questioning look. Astrid simply pointed upstairs and got the knife from her mother who was about to peel the potatoes for dinner. Of course her mother was surprised by this, normally she had to ask and then Astrid would complain about the chore, mostly because peeling potatoes wasn't as easy as her mother made it look. However, no word was said, probably because her mother didn't want to risk Astrid to stop and complain after all.

By the time the meal was almost done her father entered the house.

"I fed the dragons already. Toothless looked bored, did he stay inside all day?" he asked.

Astrid nodded, not having expected her father to be worried over a dragon ever.

"I was afraid he would get hurt if he was outside alone. We couldn't exactly bring him along to Stoick."

Her father nodded understanding.

"Go get Hiccup, supper is done," her mother suddenly said.

Astrid got to her feet and went up the stairs again, but found Hiccup asleep. The blanket was no longer over his head, in fact it was mostly of him as if he had been struggling with it. She kneeled down next to him, pondering over what to do as she studied him. His cheeks had marks of tears, some of them still there, which probably meant that either he just fell asleep or he had been crying in his sleep.

She couldn't bring herself to wake him up, so simply pulled the blanket over him and went downstairs.

"He's asleep and I think it's best to let him sleep… after well…"

Her eyes wandered to the journal that was still laying on the table. Hiccup had said to read it, but she wasn't sure if she should.

"What happened?" her mother asked.

Astrid sighed, sat down and explained what had happened that day whilst eating her supper. In the end all three of them were looking at the book. Her father then picked it up and handed it to her.

"It's up to you what to do with it," he said.

"I think you should read it."

Astrid turned to look at her mother who had just almost whispered those words.

"It will make you understand him a whole lot better, which I think is something he needs the most."

Astrid saw her father nod agreeing with her mother.

About an hour later, after helping with cleaning up, Astrid placed a candle on her night table and looked over to Hiccup's sleeping form. The tears she had seen before had dried up, however he seemed troubled and somewhat restless in his sleep. There wasn't much she could do to help him, all she could really do was watch him and wake him up if he seemed to be having a nightmare.

She turned her attention back to the journal she was holding. Perhaps her parents were right and he needed someone who could understand him.

Curious yet afraid about the content, she opened the notebook and began reading.

[ Gobber gave me this notebook, saying I could fill it with more drawings, but I already have plenty of paper to do that, so instead I'm going to use this as a journal. Oh, this was a birthday gift by the way. At least someone remembered it. Today I'm eight… okay actually two, since I'm born on the 29th of February, which it is today. I guess I must be glad Snotlout and his friends don't remember this. As for dad, well I'm not entirely sure if he maybe considers tomorrow my birthday. ]

[ So, dad forgot. He didn't say anything that would come close to a happy birthday yesterday, my actual birthday, but not even today. I'm not sure if I should tell him, he's been busy… maybe that is why. ]

[ Everything hurts. With everything I really mean everything. Let's start with the fact that dad FINALLY found out I'm no longer 7. Took him a month to figure that out and me saying I was 8 when he claimed I was just a 7 year old kid that should do as told. Worst part is, he didn't even seem to care he forgot. In fact he pushed me towards the forge and told me to get back to work. Gobber defended him of course.
When it was time for supper, Gobber shooed me home, but on my way home I just had to walk into Snotlout and the gang… .. . ]

"Hey useless!" Snotlout snorted and managed to grab me before I could get away.

"Snotlout, hi… how are you? Not sure about you, but I'm on my way home for supper, so… if you could let me go," I tried, but he didn't let me go at all.

Of course he didn't. That annoying cousin of mine only got a smirk on his face and pulled me even closer. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, dragging me along.

"I'm sure food can wait, come with us," he grinned.

I tried escaping his grasp, but it was no use, he was way stronger than me. And even if, by some miracle, I would manage to do so, there were Wartihog and Dogsbreath to catch me. Giving up I let myself be pulled along, ending up in the forest. Once far enough Snotlout finally let me go and pushed me away from him.

"Why didn't you tell us about your birthday?" he asked, trying to look offended but I knew he really wasn't.

"My… birthday?" I said, decided to go with not even remembering myself, watching the three boys carefully.

They started laughing.

"He forgot his own birthday," Wartihog started laughing.

"Well it is only once every four years," Dogsbreath grinned, "which makes him what… two?"

Great, I thought. I really wasn't willing to wait for what they were up to this time and tried looking for an opening to escape from them. I might not have their strength, but I was faster than them, if only they would not keep their attention on me for a moment…

"Well since we completely forgot, we have a surprise for you, baby cousin," Snotlout smiled at me.

I really didn't like the way he smiled or the way he said baby. I had to get out of here and fast. In an instant they were all at me and pushed me down to the ground. Wartihog and Dogsbreath hold onto my arms and legs so I couldn't move. Snotlout then wrapped something around me and when he was done, they let me go.

"There you go, baby cousin. A two year old should really wear a diaper you know," he laughed.

Wartihog and Dogsbreath joined him as I looked down at the cloth Snotlout had wrapped around me.

"Funny," I grumbled, "very funny."

I got rid of it, the knots weren't done that well, but before I completely freed myself of the stupid diaper as Snotlout had called it, someone got hold of my tunic and held me up in the air. It was Wartihog, the guy who was two years older than me and at least two heads as well. He glared at me.

"What's that? Haven't you been taught to appreciate the gifts you receive?" he growled.

He didn't even wait for my reply as I felt his fist make contact with my stomach. Then I was dropped down. Already knowing what would come next I protected my face with my arms and made myself as small as possible.

I had no clue how long they continued, but they apparently got tired of it since I didn't complain or even try to get away from them. To my relieve they left after kicking me one last time. I decided to wait, just to make sure they were gone… and to calm down. When I had calmed enough and they weren't returning, I pushed myself up, which hurt. In fact everything hurt. Grunting in pain I sat up straight and pulled up one of my sleeves to see the damage on my arm. Bruises were already forming, it wouldn't take long for them to turn blue or purple. Next to those were scratches from sharp branches on the ground I had been laying on… or rolled in when they decided that sounded like fun.

The rest of my body was just as bad, perhaps I should go see Gothi. With that in mind I pushed myself to my feet and had to hold myself up by leaning against a tree. Everything was swaying around. I was on the brink of bursting into tears as my legs protested about the weight I was putting on them, but refused to cry.

Slowly I had managed to find my way back to the village and to Gothi who only gave me one quick glance before pointing me to a stool. She cleaned the wounds and wrapped bandages around my arms and legs after applying some ointment on them that would reduce the pain. After giving me a bowl of soup, which I gladly devoured, she sent me back home.

On guard to not run into Snotlout and his friends again, I quickly ran across town to my house.

"You're late."

I jumped at the sound of my father's voice who looked down on me with his usual scowl.

"How many times do I have to tell you it's dangerous outside after sundown," he shouted, at least to me it sounded like shouting.

"The only danger I walked into would be Snotlout and his friends," I scowled.

"I'm serious, son. Be inside or at least with an adult after sundown."

"I was on my way home before dark! Snotlout and his friends pulled me into the forest and found it fun to beat me up!"

"Then you fight back! More people will try to bring you down Hiccup, so you have to be stronger than this."

I didn't reply, just looked at him confused. He wanted me save inside when it's dark because it's dangerous after sundown, but at the same time he is fine with me being beaten up? He wanted me to fight, but I still wasn't allowed to hold that axe I had been trying so hard to lift years ago. He still wouldn't let me near a sword either. The only weapons I touch would be the ones in the forge. Having no experience in the field of weapons or battle for that matter, he still wanted me to fight. I was so confused by this contradicting messages that I simply didn't know what to say anymore. So when he told me to go to bed, without supper for that matter, am I glad Gothi gave me some soup, I followed his orders and went up to the loft.

Astrid stared at the page in confusion, mostly because she too wondered what Stoick wanted. Even now it seemed that he was happy Hiccup was alive, but at the same time wanted to kill him. She gave the boy in the corner of her room a glimpse before returning back to his journal, skipping a few pages with short entries eventually landing on a longer entry, which seemed to be taking place months later.

[ Cami and Thuggery came to Berk, together with their parents. There was another meeting of clans. When I heard I was overjoyed to hear my friends would come over, but dad always seem to manage to crush that… .. . ]

I stared at him in disbelieve.

"What do you mean I have to stay inside?"

"There will be guards to make sure you don't leave the house," he continued as if he hadn't heard a word I said.

"Dad, Cami and Thuggery are my friends! Why can't I go see them?!"

Again he ignored my words and walked to the door.

"And if they managed to get inside, you will tell them to leave because you are sick and it's highly contagious. Do you understand?"

"Why?" I wanted to know, getting a glare from him.

"I will not have you outside and cause trouble as you have been doing lately."

Again I stared at him, mostly because it hurt he didn't believe me. I wasn't responsible for the chickens to escape their coop, nor had I let Sven's sheep escape and I certainly hadn't blown up a shed. I had no idea why people thought I did those things, but apparently people saw me around in those areas and assumed it was my fault.

Dad left without saying another word, closing the door with a loud slam. I opened it to find someone indeed guarding the house to make sure I would stay inside. Feeling defeated I closed the door. Staring at the wood I actually started to feel sick and sauntered up the stairs where I crawled in bed. Hours later, or at least it seemed that way, I heard whispers. Of course I knew it were Cami and Thuggery who had managed to slip inside. A small smile appeared on my face, but I also realized that if I wasn't going to do as dad told me to, act sick, I might bring them in trouble… and myself. So I pulled up the sheet as high as I could, so they wouldn't see me.

"Hey Hiccup," I heard Cami say.

"We heard you were sick and thought you would like some company," Thuggery said.

I couldn't help but smile a little at that, at least they liked my company. It was short lived though, I had to send them away.

"I'm pretty sure they told you it's contagious," I forced myself to say as I did my best not to let them know I was crying which actually made me sound sick.

They were silent for a moment before Cami spoke up.

"I don't care."

"Please, just leave. I don't want to get you sick," I said, sounding like in need for air as I tried to keep myself from letting them know I was crying. If they knew I was, they would never leave.

There was another silence, longer this time. Eventually they told me to get well soon and left. Once I heard them leave the house I hugged my knees fighting the tears that already went down my cheeks and horribly failed. This was so unfair.

Astrid swallowed as she stared at the pages. The letters were smudged in many places. She remembered that day herself. Cami and Thuggery had looked bored and sad. She had asked them what was wrong and told her it was no fun without Hiccup around and he couldn't come because he was sick. Astrid had replied surprised since she didn't know he was sick, but now it seems he wasn't after all. Just forced to stay away.

As she read on and with every entry things seemed to getting worse. His writing slowly changed too, from someone fairly optimistic in the beginning of the journal, to the sarcastic remarks, blaming himself and describing himself as someone useless, not a Viking. Many people were mentioned and the horrible things they had done. In most occasions it were Snotlout, Wartihog and Dogsbreath. There were only a few people who seemed to be nice to him, Gobber and Gothi.

She almost dropped the journal when he mentioned her the first time and wondered what she had done wrong, but instead read about her abilities and how he wished he could do things like that. As she continued on her face started turning red.

[I can't believe him. How could he leave me alone with Astrid? He knows I mess up even worse than normal. Nope, perfectly save to leave clumsy Hiccup with an axe and Astrid alone in the forge with his nerves. It's no surprise I messed up badly. I was a total joke. I know Gobber was trying to help me, but even he should understand I have absolutely no chances with Astrid Hofferson. She's amazing at well everything. Then there is me, toothpick, fishbone, good for nothing, walking disaster… take your pick. It doesn't matter I'm the heir, as if anyone would let me be chief at all, she wouldn't want me. Besides she doesn't even seem remotely interested in any guy for that matter. I've seen Snotlout fruitless attempts to impress her. Can't say I didn't like what I saw her doing with him though… Urgh, I should never have told Gobber I liked her.]

Hiccup had a crush on her?! Those words kept going through her head as she recalled that day she had gone to the forge to get her axe sharpened and get a new sharpening stone. Hiccup had dropped her axe, stuttered constantly, stumbled over his own feet, stumbled over nothing, knocked down a pile of shields and hit his head as he was searching for a sharpening stone for her. She had chuckled, yes, she had rolled her eyes, yes, but she hadn't made a nasty remark at him as far as she could remember. And the whole reason he had been acting like that was because he had a crush on her!

Astrid sighed and shook her head. At least Hiccup hadn't been like Snotlout, she thought and continued reading.

About ten pages further the writing changed, not so much, as she read the words she thought he had been freaking out as he wrote it.

[I'm so dead. Dad is gonna kill me when he finds out. So early this morning I shot down a nightfury. I told dad, he didn't believe me. What else is new? Oh, and I set half the village in flames, because a monsterous nightmare though I might be a good appetizer. Tried telling I'm too bony, but he didn't seem to care. So after I got a lecture in front of everyone I was send home, but instead of staying there, I went to look for the nightfury and found him. Of course I wanted to kill him, it would have made everything right, but I couldn't. He saw me with the knife and simply dropped his head, giving up. I freed him. I freed a nightfury and still am alive to write this down. I'm dead… so dead.]

Astrid couldn't help but chuckle a little at the things he wrote down. He had quite an interesting sense of humor, which was in fact still there. She had heard him a few times.

The next entries were about the nightfury which he quickly dubbed Toothless. He talked about all the things he found out about dragons. The dragon nip was mentioned too. Then a more concerned entry came and she frowned as she read the first sentence.

[I wonder how long I can keep Toothless a secret. Not that anyone would ask me anything, well at least it was like that. Now they're all wondering how I knock those dragons down so easily. I can't answer their questions of course, not without being banish or perhaps killed that is. Besides, I doubt anyone would really want to listen to me. Especially when I start with saying dragons aren't what we think they are. They don't want to hear that. It is that which keeps me from telling anyone about what I found about dragons. Even if I know life would be so much easier, it won't be of any use telling them…]

She turned the page, but found it was empty as was the rest of the few remaining pages in the journal.