Title: we tried, we fought, we lost
Summary: This was wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong. But they were in too deep to stop.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Prompt: falling in love with their best friend's partner au
Rating: M
A/N: And now, my favorite au i've written so far! Warning for infidelity.

In the three years he'd known her, Sasuke had never seen her look as miserable as she did right now; standing on his front porch in the pouring rain at two in the morning, hair and clothes soaking wet, her green eyes red-rimmed with recently shed tears. She was a wild mess—a picture-perfect embodiment of a brokenhearted girl silently crying out for comfort.

Sasuke couldn't help but to wordlessly invite her inside just for that.

"Stay here," he said, when she'd stepped into the threshold of his home and stood feebly in the hall, body wracked with shivers. "I'll get you a towel."

Frowning, he quickly left the room to carry on the task. And when he returned a few minutes later, he found much to his surprise that Sakura still hadn't moved at all. His eyes softened, lips mulling into a thin line. Stepping closer to her, Sasuke reached out to wrap her still shaking form in the thick, dry towel, before decidedly rubbing his hands firmly over the length of her arms, trying to coax her body into generating some warmth.

It was only then that she seemed to snap out of her trance, sad, broken eyes flickering up to meet his gaze.

"We had a fight again," she spoke, finally, her voice frail and thick with grief. He could see new tears staring to well up. "And I think it's really bad this time, Sasuke-kun… I don't think we can come back from this one…"

His heart quickened at that, and he almost swallowed. Letting out a slow, quiet breath, Sasuke squeezed a hand around her shoulder, and jerked his head towards the living room. "Come on—go sit down. I'll make you some tea. Maybe things won't seem so bad when you tell me about it."

He watched as Sakura nodded, pulling the towel closer to herself, before she mutely made her way to his living room, shoulders heavily slumped. Once he was sure she well out of earshot, Sasuke ran a hand over his face and made a sort of self-loathing sound, hands clenching into tight fists.

Why was it that when he heard her essentially say she thought her relationship with his best friend was over, the first thing he felt was a rush of excitement?

(falling in love with his best friend's girlfriend… he was the worst kind of trash in the world.)

.

.

"–and he just… he just isn't there anymore, you know?" he listened to her go on, sounding every bit as defeated as she did frustrated. "Like, we can be in the same room together—he can be sitting right next to me—but he just feels… he feels worlds away, now. And I think… I don't know, I think that things might have been this way for a while."

She quieted for a moment, then, and seemed to curl into herself a little more. His heart felt almost too tight at the reality this conveyed.

"I think… I just noticed today because we see each other every day now since I moved in with him. We spend so much more time with each other and I just—I see everything that I couldn't before." She bit her lip, and cradled the half-drunk tea cup closer, fiddling with the handle. "Like… how even though he tries so hard, Naruto doesn't understand why I feel the way that I do, sometimes. He doesn't understand the stress that I'm under, or why I overwork myself so much at these labs that I hate. How… how he tries to be supportive but he's really, really not and I'm just—I'm not getting what I need out of this anymore. I don't—"

A gasp cut off her words, and Sakura reached instantly to slap a hand over her mouth, features contorting with some sort of shame that looked as though it was completely breaking her apart. She let her eyes slip shut tightly, a few tears escaping her control.

(somehow, sasuke knew exactly what she wanted to say, then, and he felt his heart break all the more for the three of them.)

"Sasuke-kun… I don't… even think that I'min love with him anymore."

So upset with her own confession, she instantly crumbled on his couch, bursting into heavy, violent sobs that wracked her body in terrible, terrible shakes. Nearly trembling as well, Sasuke reached out to take away her still-hot tea cup before she hurt herself, moving it aside on the coffee table without much care. His heart stuck in his throat as he turned back to her, watching the girl he loved so much cry convulsively. Fuck, he hated to see her like this.

(and he hated to think that his best friend probably looked just the same right now as well—somewhere in a lonely bar, drinking away his sorrow.)

Why did things have to turn out like this? he couldn't help but to think, his chest so tight he felt almost breathless. Why couldn't they have stayed in love? Why couldn't have things stayed as they were: the two of them laughing and happy, looking as though they were one day destined to be married?

(he could have spent a lifetime bearing the cracks in his tattered heart, the weight of his unrequited love, if that meant that his best friend and the girl he loved would be truly happy.

but now…)

Sasuke's lips tightened, and he let his eyes slip shut tight for a moment, running a hand through his hair. Then, he let his eyes flutter open again, tiredly glancing at the only girl he knew would forever own his heart, a deep, weighted breath slipping from his mouth.

"Why did you come see me, Sakura?" he asked, eventually, when her sobs had finally receded to faint little sniffs and hiccups; his voice was so quiet, so lost, as though this situation had complicated their worlds in ways he couldn't possibly imagine would ever be worked out well.

(and it really, really had.)

"Why didn't you go see Ino instead?"

Her green, green eyes flashed with gleams of clear, transparent hurt. He almost found himself swallowing at the sight; causing her more harm was the last thing he ever wanted to do, right now.

"I don't—I don't understand," she whispered to him, her voice so soft, so breathy. And—gods, so upset. It made his heart twist in a manner almost too painful to bear. "Are you saying you don't want me to—"

"Don't be stupid," Sasuke interjected quickly, shaking his head. His features contorted again. "You know that I care about you just as much as I care about the idiot." You know that I feel more. I know that you know. You've always known—You've always been smart, Sakura.

"Then why would you—"

"Ino is your best friend, and I—And Naruto is my best friend, Sakura. You're—You're putting me in a really difficult position, here. I can't pick sides about this, I—Fuck, really I should be talking to him right now. We've known each other since we were seven—He should be the one who's a mess on my living room couch, not—not you." The last words left him in a near whisper, throat and chest so tight he was sure she could tell how hard it had been for him to say it.

And with the way she swallowed in turn, a few tears slipping down her cheeks, he knew that she had. "I know," Sakura replied, after a few beats, sounding a bit scratchy. She wiped her tears away quickly, and sniffled. "I know, but I just… I wanted to see you, Sasuke-kun."

The way she looked at him then, gaze so full of wistful fondness and a soft, too-familiar gleam of yearning, Sasuke nearly felt himself plummet, just about every sense of logic and self-sacrificing loyalty escaping his mind.

Just about.

(i can't do this to naruto. i can't do this to him. fuck, i can't do this to him.)

"I wanted to see you," she murmured again, curling her small fingers gently into his shirt.

He ground his teeth sharply, choking down a sound of abandon.

(be selfish for once, his heart told him then, speaking with fervor, desperately clinging to this hope. for fuck's sake, sasuke, please. be selfish for once in your goddamn life.)

Fuck it, he thought, shaking his head lightly. Fuck it all. Letting out a soft, humorless chuckle, Sasuke turned to the girl he loved all too much, too-torn dark eyes running longingly over her features with a hunger that made him ache, made him hurt.

Reaching out to tug softly at a few wet locks, Sasuke whispered roughly, "This is so fucked up, Sakura."

He kissed her before any other word could leave their mouths, finally throwing away the better judgment of his mind, and giving in to the too-long denied yearnings of his heart.

.

.

He kissed her like he was fire, like he was burning, like she was air that he needed to breathe; kissed her like it was the end, like it was over—like this moment was all he would ever be able to have (and maybe in a sense, it really would be).

His hand wrenched into her clothes, pulling her flush against his form, mind spinning as he dug his fingers into her so possessively he almost worried he might be bruising her. He could hear parts of him screaming at him to slow down, to take his time and savor this moment—but he couldn't find it in himself to listen when Sakura's lips were moving just as frenziedly over his own, those soft little sounds tumbling beautifully from her mouth, her own hands weaving into his hair as she shifted to properly straddle his lap. And gods, she was so warm there, so real—and he'd wanted this for too damn long, now, so how could he resist?

Her hands dropped themselves to his waist, then, and Sasuke's brows furrowed, jaw tightening slightly as he allowed her to quickly rid him of his shirt. He nearly groaned in the next instant as her nimble fingers pressed hotly upon his skin, exploring the ridges and lines of him with an all-too-eager touch. He kissed her again just for that, mouth moving hard and heatedly.

"You should never have come here," he muttered when he broke from her at last, tone laced with some kind of painful restraint (the remains of his loyalty still screaming, no doubt); but Sasuke immediately found himself disregarding the words as he started working eagerly on her own shirt, lips meeting hers fervidly once more.

"I know," she replied against him, scratching her nails against his chest. He could feel her lips twisting into a sharp grimace, selling transparency on the jumbled feelings of her heart. He kissed her harder in the hopes to take it all away.

(…and bear it on his own. he never wanted sakura to feel like this.)

In the next breath, the still-wet piece fell carelessly to the floor, exposing cold, pale flesh to his hungry gaze. Enraptured, Sasuke didn't waste time dipping his mouth there, tasting the rain-dampened skin with reverence. Fucking perfect, he thought, chest rumbling with a low sound.

Sakura only seemed to gasp at this, grinding herself onto his lap while she slid her fingers through his hair once more, biting her lip; the delicious wave of friction she evoked tore a groan out of his throat, urging his hips to jerk back instinctively against her own.

(fuck, how could it feel so fucking perfect? this was so wrong wrong wrong—)

"This is a bad idea," he breathed, running his hands over her sides, her back, her hips. Panting hard, Sasuke closed his eyes and bit at the material of her bra, feeling her nails dig sharply into his scalp. One of his hands slipped underneath her skirt to brush over the curve of her ass just for that, molding over it into a firm grip.

Then, he dropped it firmly between the seam of her legs in one sudden move, slipping his fingers past her underwear and meeting warm, soft flesh. He grit his teeth hard at the cry she let out, stiffening and tugging sharply at his locks. "…A really fucking bad idea," he groaned, pushing two digits inside of her to build up a quick, near-rough rhythm, his aching hardness throbbing unbearably inside his pants.

(she really would be the death of him one day, wouldn't she?)

"I know," she managed to choke out, clinging to him desperately. She let out soft, pitched cries, rocking herself into the rhythm he created. "I know, Sasuke-kun, but I—I need you."

Fuck. Fuck.

Growling a swear word against her chest, Sasuke tore his hand away from her heat and pushed himself back against the couch, shaking hands working hastily on unbuckling his pants. Almost furiously, he shoved them down past his hips, along with his underwear, choking down a groan as his arousal sprung free from its restraints.

"Sakura," he rasped, reaching out to drag her even closer, hands positioning her directly over his cock. Shuddering hard, he snatched a hand into her hair, and pulled her in for a long, hot kiss. "Ride me."

Later, he would probably hate himself for the rest of his life for this exact moment, for this entire night; for giving in to his heart and fucking the girl his best friend once swore to him he was going to marry—but right now, in this moment, as he felt her warm, tight walls coming down on him, encasing him in a world of hot, heavenly bliss, Sasuke simply couldn't find it in himself to care anymore.

A hoarse, fevered moan fell from his mouth, eyes sliding shut tightly. Body trembling terribly, Sasuke pushed his face into her neck, squeezing her ass in his hands with near-mindless vigor. "Shit, you're tight," he rasped, brows furrowing deeply. He pulled her closer, trying to drive himself deeper if he could. "Fuck."

Before a weak, uncomfortable noise sounded, and had him dropping back to reality. Stiffening, his eyes instantly snatched to the features of her face, completely alarmed.

Shit, was she—was she in pain?

"Sakura—?"

The girl in his lap merely shook her head with vehemence, seemingly unwilling to give any answer at all, arms lacing tightly around his neck as she suddenly started moving, rocking, her hips rolling in a particularly breath-robbing motion. Taken off guard, Sasuke made a sound at that, fingers digging harshly into the flesh of her ass, before gaining back his composure once more, gaze set worriedly on the uneasiness flashing through her features. Was she not—prepared enough?

A sweeter sound tumbled from her lips, and her hips started rocking into his a little faster, a little harder, driving him right back in a whirlwind of rapture. His fingers dug into her skin harder to try and get her to stop, mouth parting to say something—but before any word could properly leave him, she cupped his face and whispered, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I swear—please, please, Sasuke-kun, just let me have this," in a tone so sad he couldn't help but to relent, moving with her just as desperately.

(and he seemed to understand, finally, why she wanted to go on so much, why she felt she needed to bear through the pain; why she almost appeared to relish in it. it was a way to punish herself for what she had done, for what they were doing; a way to chase away the shame and hurt and misery that came with her infidelity. she deserved it, in her mind.

sasuke thought he deserved it more.)

Before long, they'd set up a pace that had them both panting, gasping, limbs struggling frantically to find anchor in each other's builds. Lost in their betrayal, their need, they sought comfort in one another: hands intertwining in frenzied grief, lips meeting in a mess of hopeless love, their sounds of bliss and anguish surrendered between breaths.

(and gods, how sasuke hated how much he loved those moans, those sighs, how much he wanted to hear them more—every day, every night, for the rest of his life. he hated himself for the way this ended up, for how fucked up their relationship was—but damnit, he fucking loved to be with her like this, to have her so close; to have her whisper his name so lovingly, to feel her heartbeat on his tongue. he just loved this girl too fucking much.)

All too suddenly, bliss shot up his spine with shuddering strength, sending Sasuke cursing against her skin. Frustrated by his already fast-approaching limit, he merely bucked his hips faster, guiding her into a more feverish rhythm, hoping to send her tumbling closer to the edge with him.

"Sakura," he whispered, dropping a hand between their bodies to frantically help her along. His lips met hers again, dragging her into a hard, wet kiss, catching the surprised gasp that left her mouth. The sound quickly turned into a sharp, lovely cry as he caught his other hand to her ass, using it as leverage to furiously pump his cock into her. The beauty of it nearly made him moan, but instead, Sasuke only kissed her harder, eyes shutting tight as he rasped out, "Fuck, I love you," feeling himself desperately teeter on the edge.

In response, Sakura only let out a soft, broken sob, nodding furiously against his neck, before she managed to choke out, "I love you, too," like it was her most shameful secret.

(because she wasn't supposed to love him—she was supposed to love naruto.)

But none of that mattered when he had Sakura suddenly crumbling against him, crying out his name so beautifully, her warm, wet walls pulsing with such ferocity around him that it wrung out his own climax, sending him moaning feverishly. With sharp, intense jerks, Sasuke listened to her lovely moans and ground out his release inside of her, fingers pressing into her skin so hard he was sure she would find them bruised later.

It wasn't long after his high came down that he realized how badly he'd messed up. "Shit," he cursed, eyes wide as he put his hand on her still-quivering stomach, seeing some of his sticky wetness glistening where they were joined. His mind spun wildly. "Shit. This—this is bad—"

A soft, reassuring touch to the base of his neck distracted him, sending his eyes flying up to her face. He found himself instantly relaxing at the sight he found; despite the traces of guilt for what they had done, her features held no worry at all, bringing comfort to his nerves.

She shook her head. "No, it's—It's okay. I'm on the pill."

Oh. Right. Of course she is, he thought, remembering the time Naruto had once confessed how much he hated condoms. His stomach twisted deeply, both with disgust and jealousy as he realized that this was likely a common occurrence for Sakura. His jaw tightened; he didn't want to think about what Naruto and Sakura's sex life was like, right now.

(or ever, really.)

"I'm sorry I brought you down with me like this," she spoke, then, snaking her arms around him tightly. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to keep away from you. I know things have been complicated between us for a while, especially ever since the—well, you know…"

He swallowed hard. Yes. The kiss—the one they shared all those months ago, when she was too drunk and lonely to think, and he was too love-starved to know better. He liked to think that had they never shared that kiss, none of this would have ever happened. Sakura would have never been confused, would have never started doubting her relationship—and he would have never had a taste of what her love felt like.

"I don't mean to make it all harder on you, Sasuke-kun…" she went on, breaking him from memories. "And "I know how much your friendship with him means to you. I know everything you guys have been through. And he means a lot to me too, but you just…"

Sasuke's eyes slipped shut once more. Swallowing, he put a hand in her hair, sifting through it so tenderly. "I know," he whispered, throat tight. "Fuck, I know."

I can't let this go either.

.

.

.

"Thanks for taking me home, Sasuke-kun… I know you didn't have to, especially with everything going on right now, but… I appreciate it. Really. I would have called Naruto but, like I'm sure you know… we're kind of in a fight right now. So thank you."

Her arms went around him then, wrapping around his neck in a tight, wobbling hug that felt strangely genuine all the same. He could do nothing but to gingerly put a hand on her back, too afraid anything more would seem improper.

Eventually, she pulled back and looked at him with those lovingly glazed eyes, her alcohol soaked breath fanning against his lips. She pecked the corner of his mouth innocently—a simple thank you kiss.

But then, her brows furrowed, and his eyes darkened, and she leaned to catch her lips on his more earnestly, weaving her hands into his hair. Sasuke couldn't help but to push her back against the wall, kissing her back with twice the passion, cupping her face desperately into his hands.

It was only when she'd whispered his name and raked her nails down his back that he snapped out of his daze and broke away, reality crashing back into him.

"Fuck," he whispered, pushing himself away from her quickly, like she had burned him. His eyes were wide, wild. "Shit. That—that was my fault. You're drunk, you don't even know what you're—I should have never—" He paused, ran a hand through his hair. Swallowed. "This is a mistake. You love Naruto."

"Of—Of course."

He left after that.

Nothing was ever the same between them—like a heat had sparked. Like a truth had unraveled.

Chapter spam ends here. See you guys next time!

DeepPoeticGirl