Conditions of the Heart

by masterphantom05

The sequel to the Bet.

5. 2012

JAIL CELLS AND WEDDING BELLS

December 2011

"Okay so where is the new ring?" the D.A. asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to play innocent, she knows me. I have four rings in a safe, I just can't decide on which one is better. This one I've been foolishly carrying in my pocket. I like it better. I think its kind of simple but with plenty of diamonds.

"Come on cough it up. I want to see it." Doris holds out her hand, tapping her foot, impatiently.

I pull the black box out of my pocket, placing it in the out stretched palm.

Doris opens the box. Her eyes grew big, and her jaw drops. If she thinks it's too much, than Natalia will freak.

"I knew it. It's too much."

"Too much? How much did you pay for this?"

"One."

"Million" Doris says breathless.

"But look, it's inscribed… And it has a 24 carat gold band and look at those diamonds all the way around. "

"Olivia…"

"I know I just got carried way. You think she will like it."

"I'm sure she will love it. Just don't tell her how much it cost." Her eyes never leave the diamond in the middle.

She snaps the box closed.

"You think I'm rushing."

Doris hesitates. She never hesitates to give her opinion. "No, if this is what you want, go for it."

She doesn't really mean that. She doesn't think I should do it. I knew it. I'm rushing things when Natalia said she wanted to go slow. I'm rushing things. "What if she says no?"

"She won't. I'm pretty sure you could propose to her with a funyun ring and she would say yes." She hands the box back to me, and suddenly I'm too nervous to leave.

"What if she needs more time? What if I'm rushing it?"

"And what if you're standing here wasting time instead of proposing to your girlfriend." Sitting behind her desk, I can see what she's thinking. If Blake finds out than she's in trouble. Blake already knows, I needed help. I should probably mention that.

I sit on the couch watching Rafe play on of his video games, contemplating on how time flies. I still remember the skinny little seven years old who loved to jump off stairs.

"Rafe, pause your game, for a second." He pauses the game, turning to face me. "Come here I want to talk to you."

He crawls on the couch beside me. The look on his face says he thinks he's in trouble. There go those puppy eyes and the sad face, trying to force tears.

"You're not in trouble so stop with the sad face." He perks up at the news. "You remember when you said I could marry your mom?"

"Yep." He bounces on the couch.

"You still mean it?" I don't know why I'm so nervous. My hand are sweating, my heart skips a beat waiting for him to answer.

He rubs his bare chin before answering my question. "Okay but let me see the ring first."

I laugh. Everyone wants to see the ring. I hand him the box.

"Wow." It's a lot coming from Rafe. "That's cool how much did it cost?"

"A lot."

"You didn't ask Emma?"

"When you're right you're right." We both walk over to the two year olds fenced in play area. I kneel down on my knees, sitting on my heels. She runs over to me pulling at my collar, standing on my knees. She got into the habit of giving spit filled kisses. She leaves one on each cheek.

"Emma?"

"Hello!"

"Hello, baby girl. You don't mind if I ask your Ma to marry me, right?"

"E.M.M.A…R.I.V.E.R.A!"

"Um, is that a yes?" I look at Rafe for confirmation. He shrugs his shoulders. "I'll take it as a yes. So it settled. I'm going to need you guys help."

"Mom, look at this." Rafe pulls Emma off my lap, standing her in the middle of the floor.

"Emma! Play dead." She falls on her behind and slowly lies down. After a few second a giggle erupt from her prone body.

"Emma! Play zombie!" Emma stands up; her arms hang stiffly out front of her as she walks in circles, moaning. It's disturbing, but I laugh anyway. Her version of Frankenstein is the best I've seen in a while.

"Emma! Emma! Who am I? Say who I am." Emma giggles before answering. She points in the air.

"Air, bird, plane, SUPERMAN!" She screams jumping up and down. Happy she remembered the tricks.

Rafe looks at me waiting for my input.

"That's good superman, but why don't you teach her something important."

"Important?"

"Yea, like to tie her shoe or more colors."

"But that is boring and she already can count, what else is there."

"There are other important things."

He shrugs his shoulder before running back to his game.-

I check the scene in the park, one more time. Candles, drinks, ring, music, and kids? Where are they?
Blake pulls up to the park. Rafe jumps out running towards me. He jumps into my arms. Soon he'll be too big to for me to pick him up.

"Superman, you save anyone today?"

Blake holds Emma's hand as she wobbles towards us, Emma breaks away trying to run through the snow.

"Emma almost fell but I caught her." Putting him down, I reach for Emma.

"Good job Rafe. That's what big brothers are for." I hoisted Emma onto her hip. "Thank you Blake."

"No problem, I'll call you later to see how it went."

"Okay, you two here is the plan."

NATALIA

Blake told me to meet her here. She wouldn't say why. I guide the car into the park spot. The metal sign in front of the parking space startles me. It has my name on it. 'Reserved for Natalia' I'm so busy reading and re-reading it the knock on the window makes me scream. Rafe is standing at the window with one purple and one blue rose. His smile is wide showing all his teeth. I open the car door stepping out. "Rafe what are you doing here, without a coat. Where's Olivia?"

He holds the roses up for me take. "You have to follow the trail of lights." He points across the park then runs off, disappearing into the snow covered trees.

I step onto the snow covered grass trying to figure out his cryptic message. Walking across the park until it see a long line of candles, sitting in the snow with rose petals scattered around them. There must be hundreds of them. I follow them and the sound of music over the bridge and around the frozen pond. The last is placed at the steps of the gazebo. I step inside to find a note and Emma with a box.

"Baby girl what are you doing out here?"

"Mama" She lifts a black box up to me. I take it, trying to pick her up, but she run away.

I turn to see where she went and I come face to face with Olivia. Jumping back in alarm, I drop the box.

"God you scared me!" I laugh, stopping when she doesn't. Her face is stone serious.

She picks the box up, twirling it in her hands.

"Open the note." It's a command, but her voice wavers a little.

I slowly open it reading the words written in cursive, in blue and purple crayon. Will you marry me? Signed by Superman and scribble. I'm guessing its Emma attempt at signing her name.

"Olivia?" The air leaves my body in one fell swoop. I look in her green eyes, they shine with unleashed tears.

She opens the box, presenting a ring with too many diamonds to count. The setting sun's light bouncing off the diamonds, creating a prism in each one.

My knees give out; suddenly I'm sitting on my heels. Olivia follows suite, kneeling on one knee.

"I know we've been through a lot but I can't image spending my life with anyone else. Natalia Rivera will you marry me?"

The tears pooling in my eye make it hard to see much of anything. "God, yes. YES!"

She slides the ring onto my trembling hand, then place a kiss each of my knuckles.

"Did she say yes?" Rafe run to us and straddles Olivia knee facing me.

Olivia holds up my hand showing them the ring. "I told you she would." He tells Olivia before addressing me. "She was scared; she even threw up over there. Come see it Ma, it looks like chili."

"Maybe later Rafe." I tell him. I'll never understand boys' fascination with gross things.

Olivia wipes the tears from my eyes. "You don't know how happy you've made me, since the day I met you."

"I love you." It's the only thing I can think of when she looks at me the way she is.

"I say, we celebrate. How about ice cream or hot chocolate."

"ICE CREAM" Emma screams right in my ear.

Oh my god I can't wait to tell everyone.

I run into the restaurant, sprinting to our regular table. Lindsey and Blake are already there. I don't even wait to sit down to say hi before I stick the ring in their faces. "Olivia asked me to marry her!" I hold the side of the table to stop from jumping up and down.

"Oh MY GOD!" Lindsey stands up hugging me followed by Blake.

We must look crazy, three women screaming and jumping in the middle of this restaurant.

We finally settle down in our seat. I'm so excited I can't even sit still. I really want to go back home. But I need to give Olivia an hour or two to recuperate from our all night love making session.

"And cut the crap Blake I know you already knew."

Blake smiles shrugging her shoulders.

"You knew and didn't tell me." Lindsey turns to her offended.

"What! You can't keep a secret." Blake plucks a roll out of the bread basket.

"I can too." Lindsey looks at me.

I look away knowing she is going to ask anyway.

"Can't I Natalia?"

"Um," I shallow the rest of the answer. "Anyway the reason I called you…I want you two to be my brides maid."

"Get out of here!" Blake says spitting pieces of bread out.

"I can't think of anyone else who I would love to have standing up there with me."

"It would be an honor." Lindsey having forgotten about the unanswered question says with her eye sparkling with tears.

"I'm so excited. I didn't even think she was thinking of proposing. It just caught me by surprise." I nervously fold and unfold the napkin on the table. "There is some much to plan, I'm going to need a load of help."

"That what we are here for, but one thing first." Blake holds up her finger pointing accusingly at me. "You can not, will not put us in ugly dresses or I resign here and now."

"No ugly dresses. Scouts honor."I hold up my three fingers.

"Are you sure you are ready?" It's always up to Lindsey to make a person stop and think in an exciting moment.

"I am." That's all there is. I love Olivia. There is nothing else I want more that to spend the rest of my life loving her and our children. Everything else will fall into place.

"I'm just asking because just last week you were complaining about her not opening up to you and not to mention Doris."

Oh God. Why do I have a psychiatrist for a best friend? "I know but I think everything will fall into place. And last week I told you I saw them cuddled in bed. I told Olivia I didn't like the fact of her and Doris in bed. If she had a bad dream I should be the one holding her. I can't help that I get a little territorial when it come to Wolfe. Plus I think she does it on purpose." I turn my focus to Blake.

"What! Don't look at me! I don't control her."

"Any how, congratulations. We are going to throw you the best bridal shower in decades. I'm talking about the Hangover times 5."

"Congratulations."

"Congratulations."

"Congratulations."

The women say as I walk to my office in the back of the shelter.

"Congratulations." Remy waves up at me under a pile of children jumping on his back.

"Thank you Remy."

He's been our acting security, just in case some abusive asshole shows up. It's the only thing I let Olivia handle. She pays him good. Plus his is great with children.

I keep walking not wanting to stop for the hundred time today and recognize the children injuries. From broken arms and ribs to stitches and skull fractures. I would rather glance at them to see happy kids right now that to see the hurt and pain they are facing and will face in the future.

I make it to my office carrying our new arrivals bundle of joy. The little girl is only 3 months old and already has a black eye. The mother says the baby was shaken by her boyfriend. The doctors don't know if she will have any permanent damage. I hope not. Dana seems like she could be a good mother if she could get away from her boyfriend.

Alicia is so cute even with the horrible injury. I sit behind my desk with her cradled in my arms.

God I just want to take her home with me. But I promised Olivia that I would not try to adopt every child and family that walks through that door.

I took a fussing Alicia so Dana could get some sleep.

"You are just so cute. I bet if Olivia held you she would want to keep you too." I talk to the sleeping infant. "But I have to give your mother a chance. She might not like the idea of me adopting you either." It's silly to even think about. I know for a fact Dana wants her child. I just can't help but get attached to the babies like Alicia. They are so damn cute and soft.

Knock

"Come in."

Father Ray pokes his head around the door before coming in.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Um, I just came to congratulate you and Olivia."

"Hm, your face tells a different story." I look back down at Alicia who yawns. Thing like that make me want to kidnap babies, only if they stayed this small and adorable.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Olivia."

"Well take a seat." I adjust Alicia in my arms, realizing how small she was. At three month Rafe and Emma were both bigger than her. I look up and he's already sitting with a guilty look on his face.

"If you are here to talk me out of-"

"No." He interrupts me. "Not really."

I glare at him. I would have thought him of all people would be happy. He is always saying how much Olivia has changed or the good.

"I just…do you remember what I told you the first time you told me about you and Olivia's affair?"

"You said I needed to take care of Nicholas first."

He nods his head looking for me to continue.

What else did he say? I try to think back that far. "And things with Olivia could deteriorate quickly."

He tries to say something but I cut him off. "But that was when she was using."

"I know."

"She's clean now."

"But she could relapse at any time." He counters. "She did."

"And we've talked about that." Not really, just her apologizing.

"I know you love her and she loves you but I just want you to think about all the things that could come up and be prepared. I am happy for you. Don't get me wrong. I just want you to make plans and be able to walk away if you need to." He stands up hold up his hand at my comeback. "Just think about it. You two have children to think about and if she ever did relapse I want you to be able to disconnect yourself for the sake of your safety and theirs. You've never seen Olivia in her paranoid, agitated state. I hope you never will but I feel like I should warn you so there will be no surprises."

"I will never leave Olivia. If she needs help I will help her like I did before. That's what marriage is about. It's about sticking with a person through the good and bad."

"I know you will and again I am happy for both of you. I just want you to understand that Olivia will always be an addict. But I think she loves you enough to stay clean, but just in case." He walks out before I can say anything.

It is a good think he knows when to leave. A few more minutes of that and I would have snapped waking up this beautiful little girl, who is stinky. I have not missed diaper time.

January 2012

OLIVIA

"Olivia? Are you okay?" Natalia runs a hand down the side of my face. I must have drifted off into another daydream. To be fair we've seen this movie every Friday night for about 2 months now. Emma's sleeping in my lap; she was out before the intro ended. Rafe is the only one still interested, like always he's sitting in front of the couch on the floor reciting the words.

"I'm fine, how about you?" I bump her with my shoulder.

"Very good, we got a new arrival at the center. Blake found two new houses for two of the women. They are supposed to leave tomorrow. I think she said they were in Iowa."

"I'm really proud of you." She handles the pressure much better than I predicted, just another testimony to her strength.

"And I've narrow down the menu for the wedding. What do you think, should we have lobster tail or crab legs?" She lays her head on my shoulder.

I'm pretty sure Blake chose those items. The first suggestion Natalia had was chicken or beef, until Blake told her that was for people who weren't loaded.

"Whatever your heart desires, baby." It's the only answer I will give her and she knows it, so she stopped arguing with me a long time ago. I want this to be her day. Anything she has ever wished for, I am willing to provide.

We settle back to fake watching the movie until there is a knock at the door. Both of us look at the door like we have x ray vision, wondering who could be at the door.

I put Emma in her lap walking to the door. When I open it, I come face to face with a gold police badge.

"If this is about taxes, all those deduction were legit."

"Olivia Spencer, Chicago P.D, can you step outside." Two detectives stand on the porch.

I look back at Natalia, her eyes flood with tears. We both know what this is about.

"Natalia, call my lawyer." I step out the door, turning around with my hands behind my back. One of them quickly places the cuffs on my wrist, a little too tight for comfort.

I kick myself for not closing the door, when my eyes connect with Rafe's. He bolts towards us. He must have scared one of the detectives because he pulls his gun at the blur.

"NO, wait. He's just a child." I step in front of the gun pointed at Rafe, who doesn't seem to have notice the danger he was in, he wraps in arms around my waist from behind.

"Please don't take her. I did it. It was already opened and I only took one piece of gum out. I'll pay for it. I have money. I won't do it again. I promise." He cries into my back. The detective holsters his gun, giving his partner a bewildering look. Natalia intervenes pulling Rafe back into the house.

"It's okay superman, you didn't do anything wrong." I console him. It doesn't seem to have its desired effect. He still struggles in Natalia grip.

They lead me to the car. Being arrested wasn't new to me, it just hasn't happened in a while.

"I'm glad you didn't fight. Your partners in crime put up a good fight."

I get in the car thinking about who he could be talking about.

The ride to jail is quiet. Neither of us tried to start a conversation.

They walk me through the jail and to the back to the holding cell. I see Doris sitting in one of the cells. Her shirt is wrinkle and her hair is all over the place.

They take the handcuffs off after they have me inside.

I wait till they are out of the room, "What the hell Wolfe?" I pace the small cell like a rabid animal.

"Olivia calm down, they don't have anything on us. We'll be out by tomorrow at the latest." Doris sits on the bench straightening her jacket.

"Are you sure?" I can't calm down. I'm supposed to be getting married. I can't go to prison.

"Positive."

Just then the detective ushers in Carlton Wilkins and the three of the four guys who took Nicky, all looking as if they had just got out of a bar fight. The strong sting of pepper spray floats behind them.

"Well more or less." She corrects herself, hanging her head back.

They are lead to the cell across from ours. The detectives leave, giving Doris a dirty look.

"Well, if it ain't the future Mayor of this great city." The crime boss sits on the bench smiling.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" Doris doesn't even bother to look his way. He's a mafia boss and she talking to him like some intern.

"That depends." His son's look about ready to kill.

"On?" Her voice is full of challenge.

"What are our chances?"

I would like to know the same thing.

"If your sons keep their mouths shut, I'd says it's still slim." She picks more lent off her jacket. "But that doesn't matter we're all here for a reason."

"What makes you think I wouldn't have both of you killed?" His words make my knees weak.

"What makes you think I can't have you killed?" Doris asks back.

Once again he smiles at Doris's boldness. "You have the balls of an elephant talking to me that way."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"No, it wouldn't. Let's make it the last." His smile fades.

"Maybe."

I feel like slapping her. Sometimes her nonchalant attitude can be irritating.

Nothing else is said by either of us and if Doris isn't talking I know something is wrong.

"Olivia!" Natalia runs through the door to the cell bars. I get as close as I can to her through the bars. "I'm so sorry. I'll tell the police I did it."

"Shh." I look around, making sure they weren't listening. "Natalia, Rafe and Emma need you. Plus Doris says our chances are pretty good." I leave out the part about being convicted. "It's not your fault, okay. Remember we didn't do anything. All you have to do is stay strong and this whole thing will blow over in no time." We kiss through the bars.

Five collective groans sound off.

"Get a room." One the sons laugh.

"Tell Rafe we are going to have a serious talk when I get home." She laughs. The tears still run free.

"Times up." The detective comes in.

"Did you call my lawyer?"

"Yes, she said she would get right on it."

"Good, everything is going to be okay. Don't worry." I kiss her one more time before the detective pulls her away.
"Aww, isn't that cute. I didn't look at her at first but now I see. I would probably kill someone to get in her, too." The shortest of the henchmen comment.

"Shut up! Don't talk about her." If we weren't separated I might have hit him. Consequences be damned. "Okay here's the plan. I say we represent ourselves. Doris you're a lawyer, you can get us through the legal process. We keep our trails together; no one makes a deal or tells. I'll reserve some rooms at the Beacon. We can meet when we get out, get our stories straight."

The mafia boss nods his head in agreement, so goes his sons. I look at my long time friend for support.

Doris nods her head, yawning. "That's a good idea. For now, let's just see what they have on us. No one say anything in the interrogation room. Name and rank only."

Throughout the night they put each one of us out to interrogate. The plan is working. Everyone they bring back the more frustrated they look.

The next morning they shuffle us all into the court room handcuffed.

A young female prosecutor stands at the opposite podium. She looks determined and organized.

The judge looks at the six of us over his glasses. "Where is your counsel?"

"We are representing our selves your honor."

"Mrs. Rincon would you like to start." The judge addresses the young woman.

"Yes your honor the state asks that the defendants be place on remand. They are charged with 1st degree murder and conspiracy."

"Objection your honor!" I've always wanted to say that, just not when my freedom is on the line.

"Miss. Spencer, save it for trail."

"How do the defendants plea?"

"We all plead not guilty." We all decided that Doris should talk.

"Mrs. Rincon, why does the state request such a hold? The evident at best is circumstantial."

I smile at the news. Maybe we have a chance.

"Your honor all five of these defendants have money and ties outside of the states. They are a flight risk."

"Five?"

"The state has decided to drop the charges against Mr. Calton Wilkins."

"You could have said that earlier." The judge flicks his finger at the mob boss. The bailiff comes over uncuffing him. His sons look appalled.

"Dad?"
"You're all one your own." He throws a smile at Doris who only rolls her eyes.

"Your honor, I am the new Mayor of this great city. Mrs. Spencer is the owner of the Beacon. She is not going to leave her business or her family. The Wilkins family does have substantial connections outside of the states, but I can guarantee they will show up for trail. As a matter of fact we have reserve room at the Beacon for the Wilkins, when and if the trail starts."

"I'll agree. Bail will be set at one million for each defendant. A police officer will be posted at the Beacon. Each one of you will be required to stay at the hotel. Visits will be limited to an hour a day three times a week and only in the present of the officer. If anyone of you even looks at a bus station, airplane or train, I'll have all you sitting in that cell for the rest of this trail. Defendants will arrive at the hotel in no less than two hours or a warrant will be put out for your arrest."

"Your honor we petition to have the trail in Springfield."

"Any objections?" The judge looks at the woman, she shakes her head no. "Granted, trail date will be set in two weeks, and jury selection will begin." He bangs the gavel before we are lead back to our cells.

An hour later we are all leaving the jail, somewhat free. I see Natalia waiting by the car, with Emma in her arms.

"So, see you in two." Doris tells me.

"Don't take off and don't be late."

She starts back peddling towards a woman in tight clothes and no jacket. "I don't know. I hear Hawaii is great this time of year."

"Don't make me come get you." I throw over my shoulder, walking to the car. When I get to the two, Emma reaches for me. I take her into my arms kissing Natalia on the cheek.

I sit in the back with Emma on the way home. I can see Natalia watching us through the rear view mirror.

"Where's Rafe?"

"With Remy. He was still upset this morning."

The rest of the ride is silent. When we get to the farm house I can feel her looking at my back while I lay Emma down to finish her nap.

"What did they say?"

I pull her into our bedroom, turning the baby monitor on. "We have to stay at the hotel, till the trail is over."

"That could take months, years!" She paces the room.

"It's the only way." I grab a suitcase out of the closet, throwing it on the floor at the foot of the bed.

"No there has to be another way. I want you here!"

I step in her path, taking hold of her around the waist stopping her pacing. "Look at me. Does it look like I want to spend any amount of my time without you? It has to be done. Let me worry about this. You just keep Nicholas House running and the wedding plans on track."

"I don't want to plan it without you."

"We get a visitor for one hour a day, three days a week. When you come just bring me the plans and I'll sign off on them. I don't think I was helping that much anyway."

She laughs into my shoulder. "No kidding."

"Right now I need a shower that jail cell was nasty." Last night was the first time in a long time I slept in a jail cell, not that I really slept.

"I'll pack your clothes while you're in there."

"Thank you." I kiss her on the forehead before moving to the bathroom. I take one last peek at her before closing the door. She's already started picking clothes out, moving around the room with precision. I don't know where I would be without her and I don't want to know. I just have to remind myself this is just a bump in the road. And if I spend the rest of my life in prison, it will have been well worth it.

Natalia

This feeling of an overwhelming lost starts to suck the air out of the room. She's in the bathroom, I can't help but feeling like this. She could spend the rest of her life in prison and this might be the last time she can ever step foot in our house, bedroom, or bed.

I pack the suit case and take it to the car. When I get back to the bedroom, Olivia is sitting on the bed drying off.

I lean against the door way, taking in the sight. She's beautiful.

It seems like there is always something pulling us apart.

She looks up at me, her eyes are dark and red, I'm sure mine are too. I'm two seconds from crying again and from the looks of it, she has already cried.

"Come here" Olivia holds her hand out to me.

I walk over to the bed dismissing her outstretched hand. Instead I straddle her lap looking down into her eyes. While mine probably reflect a hurricane of emotions, hers are strong and confident.

"It's going to be okay."

"How can you be sure Olivia? You could spend the rest of your life in prison because of me."

"And it would be well worth it, so don't you go confessing or doing anything that could get you incarcerated. Rafe and Emma need you."

"I need you." I run my hands through her damp hair. She moans in approval, tilting her head back. This could be and probably is the last time for awhile that we'll have together in our own bedroom. The last time I can touch her without someone else present. I can't bear that thought any longer I need something to take my mind off of it.

I lean down resting my forehead against hers, staring intently in her eyes. "I need you."

"You got me." She takes my hands twisting the ring on my finger.

"I need you now." I capture her lips trying to convey my level of need. I push my tongue inside her mouth sweeping from side to side, dueling against her tongue for space.

My hand trails down her shoulder and run over the top of the towel. Before I can un-tuck it her hands grasp mine holding them still, she breaks our kiss searching for fresh air.

"Baby don't do this…" she holds my hands tighter as I try to wretch them loose, "Natalia stop!" The fight leaves my body like a swift wind, leaving me exhausted and hurting from the sudden cold chill.

Olivia reaches up wiping my face; I hadn't even realized I was crying. "Look at me." She's determined as usual, her eyes full of persistence and defiance. "Everything is going to be fine. I don't want you worrying yourself to death before we make it to the altar."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

I pull my hands loose opening her towel. I marvel at her body as the towel pools at her hips.

"Natalia…"

"Shh, no talking." I capture her lips again, pushing her back onto the bed. I slide onto her side not wasting any time except to make sure she's okay. I enter her with two then three fingers twisting and pumping them.

Her body rises from the bed with every push of my hand.

"Hmm right there baby…right there." Her legs close around my hand so that I'm no longer in control of the pace. I kiss her shoulder retracing the mark with my tongue. Her hips roll against my trapped hand. With the curl of my fingers her body stiffens as she floods the palm of my hand. Her body draws tight like a bow string. I watch her eye roll up into her head, her mouth open catching the oxygen that has long abandoned her lungs.

"I love you." She chants softly in her delirium.

"I love you, too." The words, the kiss, they don't make me feel any easier about the up coming trail or the separation.

April 2012

OLIVIA

As soon as I step of the elevator I see the three brothers. I gave them their own room but for some reason they insist on hang out up here. Three weeks, three weeks and I'm already ready to kill someone, especially Doris. For some reason she has developed a close buddy buddy relationship with the youngest of the gangster, Johnny. His brothers call him Johnny Boy which he hates. I guess I can understand why she likes to talk to him. He's young about 27 and full of energy, just bursting to tell someone about his adventure in a crime family. The most annoying thing about him is he says up high for everything. I am a grown woman; I don't give high fives to anyone but my children.

Jessie the oldest brother told me he was adopted for cover purpose when he was 12. A young Asian kid wouldn't be suspected by the cops as a gangster, especially one who wore coke bottle glasses and is fond of country music.

They were all adopted by Wilkins for a reason and not because he wanted to give them a home.

And its not that I'm jealous because she has been ignoring me even though we're coped in the penthouse it's because she's supposed to be focusing on the case. Every time I come back from a visit with Natalia she singing karaoke or drinking with him on the balcony.

Jessie seems to be the most well adjusted brother in the whole bunch. He stands about 6 foot even with graying black hair and even darker eyes. He's not the kind of person you would want to meet in an alley but there is something about him that makes me feel for him. Some thing in his eyes that says there is a story behind the man, more that just killing and crime. Maybe it was a painful childhood or a just the pain of knowing the person he called Dad would kill him if it meant being free.

John is the middle man. That's what the call him even though he doesn't talk that much. In two week I've heard him say a handful of word and never complete sentences. I thought he was deaf at first. Now I don't care. I just wish they would all be quiet; I want this to be over before March.

Natalia picked the date last year and I want to stick to her plan or a summer wedding and not one through behind bars.

I walk into my former home to find a party going on. Jessie and John are sitting on the couch watching a movie and Doris and Johnny are at the bar downing shots.

"Doris what the hell?" I take the shot out of her hand. "The trail starts tomorrow and you're drinking."

"Come on Oliv-via." I hate the way Johnny says my name, chopped. "Relax, we are just celebrating that this has begun so it can end." He downs his shot. "Up high for murder trials." He holds his hand up.

"Don't leave him hanging." Doris says before high fiveing him.

"Doris I need to talk to you." I pull her to a corner. "I talked to Natalia and we still don't feel comfortable letting Rafe testify."

"Olivia how many times am I going to have to explain this? Everyone knows we did it. They know it; we know; the whole world knows it. The only thing that can help us win is if the hate Nicholas more that the hate what we did. And the only way to do that is to pull at their heart strings. We need our star witnesses and that would be your wife and her son to do that. If they see them as sympathetic then the jury will thank us for killing Nicholas."

"But he doesn't remember anything. You heard what the psychiatrist said. It's all jumbled up and he couldn't say what was what or what happened when. What if he gets on the stand and remembers or if the prosecutor tears him apart. First it would be bad for us, second I don't think I would ever forgive myself if some happens while he's on the stand. I don't want him traumatize more that he already is."

"Olivia." She places her hands on my shoulders traveling up to my ears. "There are three things every lawyer knows. Three things that will lose your case for sure; terrorizing a believable rape victim, belittling a mentally handicap person and making children cry, especially adorable ones. There is nothing to worry about. We'll toss him a couple of soft pitches and it'll be over before anyone knows it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now go take a shower you smell like sex and come drink with us…I mean have a soda with us."

Trail Part 1

Father Ray

They sat at the defense table, everyone was jittery. The first day of trial had everyone on edge, eager to see how the prosecution would start the trail.

The two lawyers sat at their table both looking confident in their opening statement.

Doris sat in the aisle seat of the table. She looked over at the overconfident Prosecutor Rincon. Nothing would make me happier than to take this bitch down.

Olivia sat beside her old friend constantly looking over her shoulder at Natalia. It worried her that Natalia would have to sit through the trail and testify. It was the only thing running through her mind. She didn't even hear Judge Allen bang the gavel to start the trail.

Doris elbowed her in the side gaining her attention. "Pay attention." Doris chided Olivia. She knew the jury was watching them for any sign of guilt or obnoxiousness.

"The prosecution would like to call Father Ray to the stand." Prosecutor Allen stood up, taking one last look at her papers.

Olivia sighed audibly and dropped her head. The last thing I need is a holy man testifying to how fucked up I am.

Father Ray took the stand as calmly a possible. It hadn't been the first time he was called to the stand and it wouldn't be the last.

He places his hand on the bible swearing to tell the truth. He sat down watching Olivia plead with her eye for him not to say anything. He simply winked at her, giving her the assurance she was looking for. He had known from the start what he could and couldn't reveal. He had also been up all night pray for guidance. If I have to lie then so be it, the big man will understand this one time.

The Prosecutor approached the witness stand tapping a pen in the middle of her palm. She stopped in front of the jury box. "Father Ray, you've know the defendants Olivia Spencer and Mayor Wolfe for some time now."

"Yes I have." Father Ray answered the statement.

"Is it safe to say you know of their lifestyles, especially Miss. Spencer's?"

"You could say that." Father Ray looked into the eyes of each of the twelve jurors. A couple turned their head from his glare.

"Can you tell the courts what you know about Miss Spencer?" Mrs. Rincon smiled at the jurors. She wanted to see their faces when they heard it from a holy man about all the transgressions.

"No ma'am."

The Prosecutor's head snapped up at the witness. "Excuse me?"

"Olivia and I are ways from friends as you seem to think. As Miss. Spencer's spiritual guidance I can not disclose our conversation or anything that could be related to her confessions." Father Ray fold smiled at Miss. Rincon's befuddled look. Even a first year law student should know that.

Prosecutor Rincon straightened her back. She knew they would claim confidentiality, it didn't worry her much. "Father Ray in an interview with Miss. Spencer, she stated she had no religious affiliation. In fact she said she didn't believe in God." Miss. Rincon walked back to her table picking up the thick stack of papers.

"She says that but she does, she's just not fond of him. As for your question of her lifestyle, everyone knows Olivia gay with plenty of demons plaguing her. I, myself have never seen her commit any criminal acts except for drunkenness and drugs. Lastly I will say she has come a long way from those days. Anyone can tell you she is an upstanding part of the community and a decent human being despite her downfalls. " He leaned back in his seat once again looking at the jury daring them to think they were any better.

Prosecutor Rincon took in a deep breath trying not to let the frustration over take her composure. "Do you know Mrs. Autoro?"

"Yes I know Ms. Rivera."

"And did you know about their relationship behind the victims back?" Mrs. Rincon walked to the front of the judge's bench.

"Yes."

"How did you obtain this information?"

"Many sources."

"Was Mrs. Rivera one of those sources?"

"Yes."

"What did she say?"

"Again I can't disclose confessions. Mrs. Rivera wouldn't want these types of things out in the air. Not many people would."

"Not many people's girlfriends don't kill their husbands."

"Objection your honor." Doris jumped up from her seat.

"Sustained, Mrs. Rincon how about you stick to questions." Judge Allen leaned over the front of the bench.

"Apologies your honor." The Prosecutor almost curtsied regaining her composure. "Father Ray did you know the victim, Mr. Autoro?"

"I met him once or twice."

"Are you aware that Mrs. Rivera claims to be the victim of domestic abuse?"

The women of the jury shift in their seat waiting for the line of questioning to evolve. The four men of jury looked at Natalia then Olivia and the three men.

"Yes, I am aware."

"So you've witnessed the two together, say at church or just out on the town?"

"Yes"

"And did you ever see the victim strike his wife."

"No but…"

"Is it true you called Ms. Spencer the day of the murder?" Mrs. Rincon cut the answer off.

"Yes."

"To tell her where Ms. Rivera was hiding?"

"Yes. I saw the news bulletin about Nicholas escaping."

"Did she tell you what she was going to do?"

"No. I told her where Ms. Rivera was and that was the end of that conversation."

"When was the next time you talked to either of them?"

"The next day I called Olivia."

"What did she say?"

"Just that Natalia was safe and that they would be returning to Springfield as soon as possible."

"No further questions." The state attorney returned to her seat confident she got off to a good start.

Doris looked at the jury seeing they were split. Most were still in disbelief or agreeance with the method of stopping Nicky from terrorizing him family anymore. Doris stood from her chair straightening her jacket before approaching the jury stand. "Father Ray."

"Mayor Wolfe."

Doris smiled trying to show the jury she wasn't as cold hearted as they had heard. "The prosecution has established you know me, Olivia, Natalia and have met Nicholas Autoro. If you don't mind tell me what you think of Olivia Spencer."

"Objection your honor."

"On what grounds?" Judge asked unimpressed by the whole proceedings.

"The defense is obviously trying to…"

"Sit down Mrs. Rincon you had your turn." Judge sat back waving for Father Ray to answer the question.

"Like I said before, Olivia is a special person. Through all the downfalls and all the nay sayers she has stood on her own two feet continuously striving to better herself. I see her now and am amazed at the change. I think we all have Natalia to thank."

Doris's face twitched, only Father Ray noticed it. He was hoping it wasn't a sign of guilt showing through.

"Speaking of Mrs. Rivera, You said you never saw Mr. Autoro abuse Ms. Rivera?"

"No I said I never saw him strike her. The counselor didn't let me finish."

"To your knowledge have you ever seen any symptoms of abuse?"

"Objection, the witness is not certified…"

"Actually, I do have a degree in counseling and I am currently involved in helping women escape abusive relationships." Father Ray interrupted Mrs. Rincon's objection.

"I'll allow it. Answer the question."

"When they came to church one Sunday morning, I overheard him berating her after service. He practically dragged her out of the church."

Olivia turned around watch Natalia. Her future wife sat stiffly on the bench, staring at nothing in particular. Olivia saw she was caught in a memory but there was nothing she could do about it right now. That was the thing that hurt and frustrated her the most.

"Are there any other insistences?" Doris softly clapped her hands trying to get Olivia to focus. The jurors were watching her watching Natalia. If they were going to win the case she needed the jury to watch Natalia and feel some kind of sympathy for the woman. They didn't need to watch Olivia get frustrated.

"There was one time when I witness him raise his hand at her, but he didn't strike her. From my experiences Natalia displayed the normal signs of abuse. She hardly interacted with others. She had bruises that she explained as falls. I suspected it but I didn't push her to tell me about it. Looking back I should have said something, maybe it wouldn't have gone on as long as it did."

"And why not, why didn't you press her."

"I don't know." Father Ray hung his head staring at his folded hand praying for forgiveness.

Natalia

The wedding is just around the corner and I still haven't gotten everything ready.

"So the flowers are ordered." Blake hands me my phone before sitting down across the table. "They promised they would make the petals sliver."

"I know you think silver is crazy for a wedding but I always liked it."

"I just don't know how you expected silver flowers."

"I told you they have to be real, you were the one who decided to find them." I hand her a stack of R.S. . "These are all the people who said they were coming o the reception. Mostly business partners of Olivia."

"How do you invited people to the reception and not the wedding, I will never understand." She starts sorting.

"I want it to be intimate and plus that's all people want to go to anyway. Just to get a piece of cake."

"Speaking of the cake," Lindsey sits down. "The caterer called she wants you to okay the fourth cake drawing." Lindsey huffs.

"What! All I want are roses; she is the one who keeps putting in all these extra things."

"Because roses are boring." Lindsey retorts.

She and that cake lady have been working against me, I know it.

"NATALIA!"

I almost get whiplash turning to Blake. "What?"

"Tell me this is not the Daniel Pino." Blake holds up the invitation. "Danny your first love."

"Yes and for your information Mom invited him and Olivia said it was okay. Now," I reach for the envelope but Blake pulls it out of reach. "What does it say?"

Wearily she opens the invitation. "He can't make it. Oh, but he sent you a check."

"Send it back."

"Wait let's not make any hasty decision." Lindsey takes the check."It would be rude."

"You two are the worst bridesmaids ever."

"Hey! Blake is doing her best to decorate the reception to your liking. And I am doing be damnedest throw the best wedding ever. If you weren't being so cheap…"

"Cheap! Lindsey you'll already spent seven thousand dollars, on what? And Blake the budget was 4 thousand. You're already at 6 and we haven't even bought the food."

"About that…I'm going to need more." Blake raises her eyebrows.

"No. We will work with what we have." And here comes another headache. "What about Olivia's brother. She says she doesn't know where he is."

"What about Rodney?" Blake's eyes widen.

"I might have sent his off late." I hunch my shoulders.

"Natalia!"

"What? It's going to his parents anyway. She says she doesn't know where he is either." I shrug my shoulders. I want proof he has been clean for the last two year before he comes anywhere near Olivia.

"What about you're father?"

"What about him? You heard his testimony. I figured Rafe could give me away." I think I've made piece with the fact that he is not longer a part of my life. If he can't accept us as a family then he does need to be apart of it.

Olivia

I sit down on the living room floor finally able to get some alone time to look over the plans for the wedding, which by looking at the price of everything, Lindsey and Blake have taken over.

First she won't take my name and now her ex-boyfriend that her mother can't stop blushing about is coming and what was I supposed to say about that? Oh honey I know you have a lot of issues about how close me and Doris are but I would really feel uncomfortable with you first love watching you get married.

I flip through more pages. Oh good he's not coming, good thing I avoided my knee jerk reaction and invite my first, not that I know where he is.

Doris went downstairs to 'get more towels' and the brothers are watching TV. in their room and some how I still can't concentrate.

The last few witnesses that have been called have been solely to make me look like a monster. I know Natalia says that was the old me and she's okay with it but I'm not.

I don't remember acting like a monster. When I was high I thought I was the happiest person alive. I was always floating and humming.

I wish I could say those former employees where making things up but Doris said they weren't.

I don't know how they could ever forgive me. One of them said I threaten to kill her family because she folded the towels wrong.

She was s good employee according to my records. I don't remember being such a bitch. But maybe that was when I was coming down or detoxing.

I get that I had mood swings but I never remembered being so over the top. They made me feel like shit the whole time they were on stand. I could feel the jury staring at me; it took all I had not to sweat under their watch. Times like these I need Natalia beside me or happy powder.

"Hey, Spencer." Jessie walks out of the 'boys' room'. "What you up to?" He rubs his bald head sitting at the edge of the couch looking down at the planners I have spread out. He's the only one who could pa of Wilkins son, not only because he's white but the have the same blue eyes and shaved head. He's a spitting image of the man.

"Just wedding plans." I sigh because I really don't want to be doing this. Its times like this when I'm bored out of my mind I wish I was still part of the scene. There was never a dull moment.

"I know that look."

I close the various books climbing onto the other end of the couch.

It's something about Jessie and I can't put my finger on it. I've wanted to ask him some questions concerning his life not involving the mob. I really don't know how I would go about that. I don't want him to feel like I'm probing or interviewing him. I sure don't want him to think I'm nosy but I know it is something about him.

I watch him when he's cooking in the kitchen or watching TV. He clenches him jaw a lot and he scratches his arms. And I know its winter but I have yet to see him in a short sleeve shirt.

"What look?" I ask.

"That's look that says 'if I weren't trapped I would be out right now getting high as a bird.' That look."He smirks at me, a knowing smirk and I know.

I don't know how I didn't pick up on it earlier. I usually can spot another addict from miles away. "So what's you choice?"

"Heroin and pcp." He pulls up his sleeve revealing the track marks up and down his arms. "Some times speedballs. You ever do it?"

"Once or twice, bad reaction both times. Body couldn't handle both so I chose coke."

"Good choice, heroin is a monkey that is hard to shake." We both laugh before growing serious again.

"How long you been clean?"

"8 months next week."

"Congratulations."

"Please. If I wouldn't have got caught up in this I'd probably be out."

"So what made you quit?"

"Pops threaten to have me killed. But the first time was my decision."

"Health?"

"No. I came to, knelt in front of some guy."

"Oh." I can't keep the surprised look of my face.

"Yea." He laughs through the painful memory. "Coming to with some guys junk in your mouth will make you rethink your life choices."

"I guess it would." I am so glad I never got hooked on that stuff. I've seen it take people through hell.

"What about you?"

"I overdosed. Spent a couple of days hooked up to machines. When I came to, Wolfe gave me an ultimatum. I could either go to jail or go to rehab."

"So your girl?"

"Well she's the reason, I'm still clean. I don't want to lose what we have for something that was killing me." I mean every word. Natalia and our kids mean more to me than anything; money, drugs, anyone life. I would throw it all away if it meant they were happy.

"That kind of love you should hang on to, no matter what." His eyes turn dark before he turns away from me. "I'll let you get back." Before I can say anything he jumps off the couch practically run back into his room.

Trail Part 9

Mrs. Rivera

"Mrs. Rivera how was your daughter's upbringing?" Prosecutor Rincon step up to the witness stand folding her arms on the stand in front of her.

"It was normal." Maria Rivera leaned back uncomfortable wit the closeness. "She was our only child so we gave her what ever we could."

"Was she ever abused?"

"No."

"But you claim you were?"

"Before Natalia was born Ricardo and I fought a lot. Mostly about his drinking. We were young when we got married."

"So he never hit Natalia or hit you in front of her."

"At Natalia's second birthday party he showed up drunk. I confronted him and he slapped me. I told him I wouldn't have my daughter grow up watching him hit me. I left him that day. We lived with my sister for about a month."

"Even after you went back."

"He got sober. He was really a nice person when he wasn't dinking. He loved Natalia and she loved him. Things were much better after he was sober. That's not to say we didn't fight but not in front of Natalia. I think I made the right decision for everyone."

"And that's why you urged Natalia to go back to Nicholas. Isn't it true you suspected Nicholas had a violent tempter before they married?"

"I did but I also warned her not to get pregnant. I saw how controlling Nicholas could be."

"But she did, didn't she?"

"Yes but not on purpose. Natalia could be hard headed at time, very head strong. She started to changed after she got pregnant."

"And you noticed the abuse, but you never saw Nicholas strike your daughter."

"I noticed the bruises and the guilty look he had when I asked about them?"

"So he looked sorry?"

"I don't know about sorry, just guilty."

"Still you didn't tell your daughter about the abuse you suffered."

"No there was no need to tarnish her view of her father at the time. She loved him."

"You say Natalia was hard headed; was she argumentative, combative?"

"No. If she wanted something she strived to get it. She was ambitious."

"So if she wanted to kill…"

The Mayor stood up interrupting the line of questioning. "Objection your honor, Ms. Rivera is not on trial."

"Sustained."

"If you didn't want your daughter to marry Nicholas who did you want her to marry?"

"She had a boyfriend who moved away. Danny Pina. I thought he was the best, intelligent, athletic, and respectful."

"What about Olivia do you have any objections?"

"Besides my religious views, I think Olivia has been good for my daughters. She's happy. She's confident in herself. I can see the old Natalia coming out again, before she was just a shell of herself."

"Your husband doesn't feel the same way, does he?"

"No Ricardo hasn't gotten to know Olivia like I have." Maria's eyes connected with her husband of almost 40 years. "His anger is misguided. Olivia did something he couldn't. ..protect out daughter."

TRAIL 15

BLAKE

Blake sat nonchalant on the witness stand twirling her hair around her finger.

Doris shifted in her seat a little uncomfortable. She knew Blake was mad at her for 'getting some many towels' from the maids at the hotel, but she was human. Being cramped in an hotel with four other people wasn't exactly her kind of fun and having sex four times a week wasn't fun either, so she slipped off…to get more towels.

She knew someone had told Blake who was still upset about not being called after they got arrested. But she was Mayor Doris Wolfe. She had not only a reputation to keep up with but a libido that she fought to control. It was her parents fault for trying to shelter her and her sister.

Still she was nervous. A mad Blake always equaled to a talkative Blake, which meant it was a no hold bard.

"Mrs. Mahler," Prosecutor Rincon stepped to the stand. "You've know Ms. Spencer and Mayor Wolfe the longest can you tell us how you meant."

Blake sucked her teeth. "Oh god let me think back…I met Doris my first summer out of college. I was working at my Uncle's bar. It was an underground bar for gays and lesbians, real popular because of the college student crowd." Blake finally let her hair go. "I had a brief relationship with Doris."

"How brief?"

Blake sucked on her teeth again in annoyance. "One night, when I tried to talk to her the next day she blew me off." Blake raised her eyebrows at her ex/current lover. "Later that week she came into the bar like nothing had happen, then she told me she had fun but she didn't do relationships."

Blake rolled her eyes still not believing how stupid she had been falling for Doris's one line she had been using since the late 80s. "We kind of fell into the same group of friends, that hung out at the bar. There was Keith, Rodney, Lily, Beth and Tracy. They called themselves the Wolf pack because they follow Doris everywhere she went. Ever since then we've been on and off."

"Even thought you were married?"

"Yes." Blake nodded her head.

"What about Ms. Spencer."

"Well I met Olivia about two years later, she was looking for a job. My uncle gave her one and that is where she met Doris."

"Did you ever have a sexual relationship with Ms. Spencer?"

"Oh, no. I went in a totally different direction." Blake looked at Doris before rolling her eyes.

"And from your perspective how did Mayor Wolfe and Ms. Spencer's relationship evolve?"

"From that day on they were inseparable. Doris, Rodney and Olivia were always together. People around campus called them the Three Musketeers or the Three Stooges." Blake laughed to her self remembering being the one to start the nickname. "If you saw one the other two were right around the corner."

"From your knowledge what happened to break up such a happy family?"

"Objection." Doris stood up.

"Overruled." Judge Allen dismissed her with a glance before turning back to Blake.

"After Olivia was assaulted she started to use drug pretty often. She quit working at the bar, became very withdrawn. But they came back to school and they seemed fine, but I know Doris as worried about Rodney and Olivia's habit."

"What about Mr. York? What put a strain on his relationship with the two defendants."

"About 2007 or the beginning of 2008 Olivia overdosed. I guess it was the last straw for Doris. She cut ties altogether with Rodney. From then on they acted like they couldn't be in the same room." Blake started to say come thing else but she noticed the look Doris as giving her. It was the look that said 'that's enough." Normally when she was upset with the woman she ignored it saying whatever she liked, but this was no normal day. They were facing prison, so she snapped her lip shut.

"If we could I'd like to go back to the question I asked you before, which is were you having an affair with Mayor Wolfe while you were still married?" The prosecutor raised her voice slightly.

"Yes I was. I guess that school girl crush I had never really wore off." Blake smiled sheepishly.

"Your husband Frank Cooper was the partner of Mr. Autoro the summer of 2009."

"Yes they were partners."

"So you met Mr. Autoro?"

"Yes quite a few times." Blake said as a matter of fact.

"Did you ever suspect Nicholas Autoro was abusive to his wife?"

"I suspected he had a tempter. Frank used to tell me all the time how he had to pull him off of a susp-"

"Answer the question Mrs. Mahler." The Prosecutor cut Blake off.

Blake clenched her fist trying to keep her anger in check. "Yes there was one time, I think in September or October, Frank and I went over to their house and I noticed Natalia limping. I had suspected that she was involved with Olivia. I would see her leave every night and come home in the mornings. So that night I asked her if everything was okay because I saw a bruise around her neck, like finger marks. When I asked did she need help she said no. When I asked her about Olivia she pretty much told me she knew about Doris and me."

"But Mr. Cooper already knew about you two."

"Yeah, but," Blake rocked her hand back and forth trying to think of a better way to say her ex-husband was slow on the up take. "You had to show Frank with his own two eyes for him to believe it. Although he did know in his mind I think he rather not believe it."

"I want you to recount the morning of Nicholas Autoro's murder what you did from the time you heard her escaped to the time you heard he was killed."

"I got up that morning-"

"Alone?" The prosecutor looked at the jury to gauge their reaction.

"No, I was in bed with Doris." Blake squeezed the words out through her clenched teeth. "I got up to make us breakfast when I saw the news. I told Doris. She let after getting dress to check on Olivia. The rest of the day I sat around watching for more news. When I heard Nicholas had been killed I call Doris but she didn't answer. I guess I went to bed around 12 that night."

"Did you talk to the Mayor any time the next day?"

"Yes, she called around 6 that morning saying every thing was okay."

"Did she act strange on the phone or when she arrived back in town?"

"No. It was business as usual with her." Blake shrugged her shoulders.

"You still love Ms. Wolfe, don't you." It was more of a statement then question.

"Like I said I guess the school girl crush never wore off."

"So much that you would lie for her?"

"NO."

"Would you say Mayor Wolfe had ample time and the connections to kill Mr. Autoro?"

"I guess, I don't know." Blake lied. She knew exactly what Doris could and would do. Since her college year Doris always kept muscle around. Of all the fight she had been involved in she never once lifted a finger to win, maybe a pen or money but never her own hands.

"Back to your husband, did he ever contact you after he left town?"

"Once he left a voice message saying that he was okay and that he loved me even if I was with Doris."

"And he never let you in on any of his partner's plans or told you about Nicholas wanting to kill his family?"

"No."

"Did he even know of any plans?"

"I don't think so. Frank was a good man and although we had our problems he was good to me," Blake looked in Doris's direction. "He was kind, loving, and loyal."

"No further questions."

As soon as the attorney sat down Doris rose from her seat. She hadn't planned on asking Blake any question unless she had to but the accusatory tone in Blake's voice had been enough to form stress knots in her neck. Not only did Blake have the nerve to insinuate she was a whore but then she had the nerve to defend the man who slapped her.

"Ms. Mahler, you say Frank Cooper was a good man?"

"Yes he was." Blake sat up straighter squinting her eyes at the Mayor.

"Did her not slap the night of the Mr. Autoro and Ms, Spencer's shooting?"

"Objection! Relevance."

"I'll allow it. Mayor Wolfe you have a short rope." The Judge addressed Doris.

"Yes he did, but-"

"And isn't true you suspected him of cheat on you before you were married?"

"Yes but-"

"Isn't it also true that Frank Cooper had a criminal pass, for theft?"

"Yes but that was when he was younger."

"So this man you trusted so much not only had a criminal history but he assaulted you."

"I wouldn't sit so high up on that pedestal. You don't have the cleanest past either."

The occupants of the court room eyed one another wondering where the line of question was going and how long the judge would let them take shots at each other.

"I know about my past but it doesn't involve throwing a fit and marring the first dope to ask. Tell the court why you married Frank Cooper."

"Hissy fit? Who do you think you are? I gave you a piece of me and you acted like it was nothing. I married Frank because he was nothing like you."

Judge Allen sat in shock as the women talked over one another.

"Is that what you're doing, Ms. Mahler trying to make me look bad because you couldn't have what you wanted?"

Prosecutor Rincon was also confusion. She had never seen a professional get into personal matte with a witness on the stand. She slowly rose from her set as the argument when on, "Um, objection?"

"Oh you make yourself look bad enough, without my help!"

"Order!" Judge Allen banged his gavel before Doris could rattle off another question. "You're rope just ran out counselor."

"No further questions."

The Penthouse

Olivia

"Hey Oliv-via." Johnny walks out from the balcony holding his empty glass. "We were talking about you and D told me you slept with twin sisters. Up high for pulling twins."

"No." I walk past him taking his seat beside Doris. "You know I really wish you wouldn't encourage him."

"Oh come on Olivia. He's harmless for the most part." She flips through her notes.

"It is annoying to say the least. I hate high fives and I hate people who ask for them constantly. I don't know why you even entertain him."

"Because"

"Because what?"

Doris sits her note pad on her the table. "He reminds me of us."

"What when we were 20."

"Yea. You know you were care free at one point. Let him have his fun."

"He's 27, three years from being thirty. I think the time for care free is over."

"Couldn't have told you that at 27."

She has a point, but I was going through something namely a drug probably. "But at least I listened to you most of the time. I knew when to stop and get serious."

"You didn't listen to me."

"I did."

"You never have." She scoffs.

"I do too!"

"You're not listening to me now."

I take a deep irritated breathe and throw my head back looking at the cloudy sky. "Natalia. Why does it always come back to this?" I swear I can't ask either of them without the other coming up. Natalia will not let it alone and neither can Doris. "For the last time, I am ready to spend the rest of my life with Natalia. I love her with all my heart and I trust her."
"No you don't."

I lean forward with my elbows on my knees. Not that it matters but I am interested in why she thinks I'm not ready. I've never really thought of Doris as the jealous type but the green eyed monster is showing up in both their eyes. "Why?"

"I am not jealous if that's what you think."

"Then tell me Doris why are you so against me getting married and settling down. Isn't this what you wanted me to do. It's what you told me to do; find someone and settle down."

"You don't think things through Olivia. You never have, you…have you told her about what happened when she left? Did you tell her you relapsed? Did you tell her how we drove all over this state and three others looking for her?" Her voice raises and I know she's still mad at me for what I did. "Did you tell her that while she was living on the country side I was sitting by your hospital bed praying to a God I don't even believe in, just for you to wake up? Did you tell her any of those things?"

"What's your point?"

"No I didn't think so Olivia; you didn't tell her any of those things. Did you a least tell her about Lily."

"I told her about that!" I snap back at her. How dare she tell me what to tell my wife? I have the right to privacy. Natalia doesn't need to know everything.

"You didn't tell all of it because you're scared, like you always have been. You're scared she won't understand or she'll look at you differently. Damn it! Olivia if you can't trust her with the past how can she hold your future?" In a huff she walks back inside.

Damn she's right.

Johnny

Damn that was deep. I am definitely going to have to use that one some one. Oh I bet if I say that to that maid she'd be all over me. Focus Johnny. A friend is in need and this is my chance to shine. How to fix this problem? What is the most obvious reason D doesn't want Olivia to get married? And why does Olivia care so much? It's chin rubbing time. I rub my chin for a second really thinking.

I wish I had some facial hair; chin rubbing would be some much better.

Focus.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Personally I would think she would be happy. Now someone else can look after Olivia, be her sponsor and everything. Unless…son of a bitch why the fuck didn't I think of this before D is in love with Olivia. Of course. Shit this will be easier than I thought. All I have to do is get her to realize it and get Olivia to drop Natalia and BAM, everything will be perfect and it will be because of me and no death. Unless I have to kill Natalia; I'm sure she's a reasonable person who will step aside. I would hate to leave her kid motherless but Olivia is kinda of a mother to them so all Doris will have to do is adopt them too. Damn but she doesn't want kids. Shit I always wanted a little brother so I'll take the boy and the girl can go with some other family. Fuck yeah Johnny. You are finally growing and taking charge. I'll be head of the family in no time or maybe I'll start my own match making service.

Before I can even make it into the elevator Jessie calls my name.

"What J?"

"Johnny boy what ever you are about to do don't."

"What are you talking about?" He thinks he's my father or something. IF he can talk with Olivia I can talk with Doris.

"I'm serious."

"I'm going to get more towels! Damn!" I step into the elevator looking Jessie in the eyes. He used to scare me but over the years I've learned he's just a big softy.

The elevator doors open and there stands my second target. I wanted to talk to Doris first but she will do.

"Oh Johnny, I'm glad I saw you. Olivia left this." She dangles a piece of paper in my face like I'm supposed to care. "It's the wedding plans." Not if I can help it.

"Natalia I need to talk to you."

"Oh okay, is something wrong."

"You could say, lets grab a snack."

"Hey, D." Fuck I can not keep this smile off my face. The conversation with Natalia went better than I ever could have thought. I thought there would be tears and hysterical shouting; then just maybe I would comfort her and have sex with her, but nothing. She just listened and smiled and walked away. And she didn't even try to go upstairs to confront D or Olivia. What's up with that?

I grab the chair beside D, pushing it back onto its hind legs.

"What are you so happy about?"
"Nothing much, just solved your life problem." I rock forward waiting for her thankful reaction. I love to see the reaction on people's faces. "Up high for solving problems?"

"Not so fast. Unless you got this case thrown out, explain." She so dramatic when she takes her glasses off. I bet they taught her that in law school.

"You know, your problem with Olivia getting married; and I know what you're going to say. 'oh no I want my best friend to settle down'. I know you do but I also know you want it to be with you." I hold my hand up again. "Up high."

"I don't want to settle down with Olivia."

"Uh oh. Down low for fucking up." Shit. This is why I knew I should have talked to her first.

"What'd you do?"

"Nothing." Fuck. "I just thought I knew what you wanted."
"Everyone thinks that. I know they do but that's not true."

"So tell me because I'm confused." Jessie is going to kill me.

"It's like this. I met Olivia when she was still a teenager, I mean a real teenager. I kind of took her under my wing, showed her life. It's hard to explain. Okay. I've always been by her side. I know how she thinks. When Olivia wants something she gets it at whatever cost, but she doesn't think things through. Her and Rodney they are so impulsive that things always go wrong and I've always been there to fix things for them. But with this…I just want her to give it more time. I know it seems heaven sent now…she gets bored easily. I just think if she gave it more time than things will pan out better in the future. On the other hand there are all these things that happen from college up to now that Natalia doesn't know about. I told Olivia she should tell her and then see where things go. They could come back and bite her in the ass. She's not thinking about those things all she wants is Natalia and she might lose her if she doesn't untangle herself from the things that have been holding her back for so long."

"Hmm, I guess but that's kind of up to Olivia if she wants her Natalia to know about those things."

She sighs deep. "I know."

"I thought you were in love with Olivia. I even planned it all out what you could say to her to stop the wedding."

"You know I don't believe in love. I believe in sex and a mutual bond of sex."

"Actually I've been thinking about what you said. I mean there is no way you could have been as successful as you are if you have to constantly deal with the whining of a woman moping about your work."
"And that's what I told Blake. She knows I'm married to my work. I wouldn't have time for her most days and she would hate me even more if I tied her down to an empty house. But I'm always the bad guy."

"So can I make a play."

"If you touch I will set your penis on fire."

"Gotcha." This is going to end super bad for me. D is gong to be super pissed and Jessie is just going to shoot me.

"Up high for advance apologies."
"For what?" She gives me her best interrogation face. It does scare me what's coming will be worse that any hard stare she can give.

"Don't leave me hanging." She slaps my hand. But I still don't get it. "Are you scared Natalia is taking your place?"

"As much as I hate to admit it, a little."

Trial Part 16

Autiro Sr.

The whole day Olivia had notice Doris had been distracted. She could feel herself being watched by both Natalia and Doris. She couldn't help but shift in her seat. For a second she thought they might actually start fighting during one of the recesses. Doris kept asking to talk with her and Natalia wouldn't leave her side. Natalia had practically wrapped herself around Olivia claiming her territory. To say the least she was getting tired of the constant pulling. Something had to give and Doris never gave.

"Hey pay attention." Olivia elbowed Doris stopping her from making another spiral doodle.

"You're saying your son was never diagnosed with any mental or psychological disorder?"

"Of course not. There was nothing wrong with Nicholas. His mother made him weak. When he came to visit I just tried to show him how to be a man." Nicholas Sr. shrugged his shoulders focus on the men in the jury.

A few of them nodded their head with the other remained suspicious.

"So why do you think Nicholas acted the way he did? Mrs. Walker and Mr. Dubois testified he was diagnosed with a disorder."

"Admittedly I let Nicholas loose while he lived with me. By the time tried to reign him in he was too far gone; with his football career and girlfriends. I tired to tell him so many times that once you have a child life is over. He would have to get married and get a job to support them. I told him the girl just wanted to tie him down because they knew he was going somewhere, but he didn't listen. I stayed true to my word. I got him a job at a factory in the evens so he could at least finish high school."

"And did he tell you how Mrs. Rivera came to lose their child?"

"He told me they were arguing and she tripped, fell on her stomach. Of course she had a different story. After that she stayed with her parent and when to college. I told Nicholas that I wasn't paying for school so he could go get another girl pregnant. He had a wife and they needed to work things out. I didn't want him to fail in life. You finish what you start." Nicholas puffed his chest out.

"What about the allegations that you were stalking Ms. Spencer and Ms. Rivera?"

"I just wanted to see my grandchildren; they are the only links I have to my murdered son. I'm sure any grandparent would feel the same way."

"And your ties to a well known crime family in Chicago."

"Nothing has been proven. I was indicted but I have not been found guilty of any wrong doing."

"The alleged abuse of your former wives?"

"I never abuse them. Sure we argued but I never laid a hand on any of them including a child. I would never hurt a child; mine or anyone else's."

Doris only listened have way to the testimony. She was sure nothing Nicholas Sr. could say that could change the mind of the jury about Nicholas Jr. The only thing he could do was make himself look less like a monster. Renee and Remy's testimony almost certified him as the worst father in the world.

She was more focused on what Johnny had said. She was losing. It was an unusual feeling. Even when Olivia was deep in her addiction she felt like she was winning. Even day Olivia lived or walked into her office she felt like she won another day.

The drugs weren't her battle it was keeping Olivia alive long enough for her to stop. And she won. Everyday was a new victory and with that victory she could sleep most nights until someone called her and told her Olivia died. That winter night she was on the cusp of losing, but she fought and Olivia fought and they won; like usual.

This was different. She was losing everything she had worked so hard to keep. She couldn't count how many time she called their friendship quits only to be back together the next day.

This was different. There was a person and real person standing in between them. Although it was selfish on her part and she knew that; Doris couldn't, wouldn't give up that easily.

Natalia wasn't strong enough to hold Olivia and she did want Olivia standing on her own.

She was sure of that, but what she wasn't sure of was how much she wanted to hold on to. She didn't want Olivia to be the Olivia who passed out everyday and night. She didn't want the drug addict Olivia.

If she were really truthful with herself; Doris knew Natalia was the best thing for Olivia. She had done her best to keep Olivia going but she was tired. She couldn't be with Olivia every minute of every day. That wasn't a friendship that was a parent-child relationship.

So what did she want? Doris didn't know herself. Through out the day she watched Olivia, confident as always.

She watched Olivia waiting for an epiphany. It was impossible for her to love-love Olivia, she didn't believe in those things. Or did she? Was it as simple as she felt like Natalia was pushing her out of Olivia's life on purpose or did she really love Olivia?

"No further questions."

"Defense?" Judge Allen had been watching Doris throughout the days proceeding. She hadn't shown much interest in the testimonies. She was nothing like she used to be in his courtroom and for the first time in a long time he thought she might lose.

Olivia elbowed Doris.

"What? Oh, no your honor."

Visit- Natalia

I wonder if it is a sin to beg God to freeze time while having sex. I'm sure it is but I love this moment and every moment before and after. But this is my favorite.

The time right before she cums, when her voice is hoarse from begging. Her knees find themselves raised almost under my quivering arms tired from holding me up so long. The heels of her feet dig into the back of my thigh. I love it, record it mentally till the next time but I love it, I've said that right!

The time for slow and gentle long gone but the love is at its peak. Our hips work over time to met and separate pushing the pleasure to its limit, if it ever has one. She has a definitely limit that I take her to every time, anytime that she asks. "Come on baby. Give it to me." She pushed back harder, but I push harder. "That's it. You like that." I circle my hip before pushing to the left.

"Oh, god." She whispers in my ear, her whimpers pushing me further into oblivion.

How we ever keep a solid rhythm is beyond me. Thank heavens something takes over controlling our movements.

She knows my spot playing with is all the time making me crazy and a little frustrated I don't have the control.

But I know hers to. It's my mark that I had to beg her not to get tattooed. So I lick and nip at the mark. As much as I love using toys with her I miss feeling her velvet glove around my finger pulling me deeper into her body. I miss it, but I settle for watching the ecstasy play across her face until she's too tired to keep her legs wrapped around my waist. "I wish you knew how good you feel."

"Na-ta-" That's as much as she says before arching off the bed. Her short finger nails dig into my back, pushing me over with her. She quivers and whimpers under me, holding me in place.

I anchor her to the bed, kissing any exposed skin whisper, "I got you baby. It's okay." I clear her sweat soaked hair from her forehead before place a solitary kiss on the scar peeking from her hairline.

Her mouth moves in a silent chant as old as time. I don't have to hear the words to know what she's saying. "I love you. God I love you so much."

Just for good measure I always push into her one more time, just to hear her whine. "I can't. Ten minutes. Ten minutes." She begs.

"What's wrong?"

"What?" I stop buttoning up my shirt long enough to turn to her still on the bed with the sheet pooled at her waist. I run my finger down her back covered in sweat.

"You tell me."

"Nothing is wrong." Everything is wrong. Instead of making love in our bed we have to settle for hour long visits or telephone calls. Instead of holding her close at night I'm forced to hug a pillow and even then I can't sleep because pillows don't hug back.

"Natalia, if you're still worried." She flips over holding my hand in hers.

"I'm not worried I know Doris is doing her best to win this case." And I also know she is madly in love with my fiancé, Johnny told me that much. But I don't believe Doris sent him. If anything she would have confronted me herself. "I just know its going to be Rafe's turn to testify and I don't want him to but I know it necessary."

"He's going got be fine. You practiced with him and the judge gave him a tour of what is gong to happen." She stretches her arms over her head, tempting me to get back in the bed. "He's tough and if he gets in trouble then we'll stop it, simple as that."

"Do you think he's lying?"
"Sometimes but then sometimes not. I think he's scared to remember Nicholas. Has he said anything to you?"

"No but I think he's trying to put on a good front."

"Tell him I love him and what ever happens I always will."

Trail Part 19

Rafe

Rafe walked up to the stand after being called. She turned to the court room with his hand raised, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth."

The jury laughed at the eager young man. The bailiff looked at the judge who waved him off smiling at Rafe.

He sat on the stand hugging his action figure close. His grandma gave him the toys the week after Olivia had been arrested, one was superman and the other was wonder woman. The judge told him he could keep them with him.

All eyes were on him, but he kept his on Olivia.

Natalia had slicked back his hair that he insisted on growing out. It was down to his shoulder and a hassle every morning to comb.

"Raphael." Prosecutor Rincon approached the stand. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"You promised to tell the truth?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Okay I want to start from the beginning." The woman walked back to the table flipping through a few pages in a book. "When did you first meet Olivia Spencer?"

Rafe smiled bright. "She came to my house with Ma."

"And you saw her regularly after that?"

"Yes ma'am"

"And did your father visit during this time?"

"No."

Olivia watched her son become agitated at the question. He pulled at his clip on tie, threatening to pull it off.

"Raphael did your father know about Olivia visiting you?"

"I don't know." Rafe shrugged his shoulder still holding an action figure in each hand.

"Okay. I want to talk about your father."

Rafe's eye widen as he shook his head.

"Why not, didn't you like him?"

"He didn't like me. He was always mad when I called him Dad." Rafe punched the two figures in front of him walking them along the rail in front of him.

"Raphael do you remember the day in question, the day your father was murdered."

"No." Rafe told the truth too afraid to lie in front of all the people. The day was too jumbled to decipher. He remembered playing video games, everything else were flashes of random event in his life that couldn't have possibly happened that day. For his selective memory Rafe was glad. He was trying to forget the man he called Dad had ever existed. He wanted to forget the first seven years of his life and never look back no matter how many smart people they took him to see.

"No further questions."

Doris stood up approaching Rafe to get his attention.

Olivia fidgeted under his stare. He was being questioned and she didn't want him to be in distress. She felt guilty by the look on his face because she was being selfish allowing him to get on the stand.

"Tell us about your typical day Rafe."

"I get up a 5:30 and put on a pot of coffee"

"Wow 5:30." Doris said with fake enthusiasm.

"That's when Mom gets back from her run then we practice tai-chi and karate. We drink coffee and read the funnies. We cook breakfast for Ma, before we leave for school. When I get out of school I go to the hotel to do my homework. Then we go home."

"You have a busy schedule…Rafe I know this is going to be hard but I want to talk about your father."

Rafe held his action figure tighter trying to keep eye contact with Olivia.

"You don't like to talk about your father do you?"

The jury listens for a response but none came.

Doris waited as did the judge who was growing concerned.

"Rafe?"
"He called me stupid."

The Mayor let out a lung full of air in relief. "Okay." Everyone had been afraid he would freeze up and that wouldn't bode well for them.

"And her hit Ma." Rafe held up his action figure, both fly through the air in front of him.

"Did that make you sad?"

"Yes."

"Did he ever hurt you?"

Rafe watched Olivia trying to gauge her mood. It was something he did when he was scared, except Olivia wasn't giving him a thumb up for support. "He hurt my arm. He hurt Ma a lot and screamed lot if I cried. He wouldn't stop."

"Before, did you want to live with your Mom and Dad?"

"I wanted to live with my Ma." Rafe smiled at Natalia who tried to keep a smile on her face for support. "Then I wanted to live with Ma AND Mom."

"You mean Olivia?"

Rafe nodded his head holding up Wonder Woman.

"Who's that?" Doris stepped back making sure everyone could see the action figure.

"This is Superman." He held up the other action figure.

"Is that you?"

"Yep, Olivia said I was Superman. She made up a story and everything but I can't remember it, not right now." Rafe walks the action figure across the rail.

"And who is that?"

"This," Rafe pointed the action figure at Olivia, who sunk down in her seat. "Olivia and this," He pulled another figure out of his pocket. "Is Louise Lane, Ma. We have to protect her."

"You love Olivia. You like your family?"

"Yes I like her more that Nicholas." Rafe said as Doris walked back to her seat. "I'm glad he's gone so he can't scream anymore."

"No more questions." The mayor smiles inwardly. The questioning of the boy went smoother that she had thought it would. The prosecutor obviously saw there was no point she could win with Rafe and the jury had to have been swayed in their favor. Their view of Nicholas was of an uncaring man who deserved what he got.

"Redirect your honor." The prosecutor stood approaching Rafe again. Ms. Rincon had initially thought she couldn't win but the defense had backed her against the wall. Rafe testimony could ruin her whole case if they thought of Nicholas as an uncaring father. There was more than that to the case and she wanted the jury to see that.

"Rafe you said your Father hit your mother?"

"I saw him." Rafe continued to play with the three figures.

"Isn't it true that your mother told everyone you dreamed it?"

"No!" His hands stop as he looked up. "I saw him, he made her cry!" Rafe voice rose as he argued.

"How old were you?"

"I don't know." Rafe eyes bounced wall to wall.

Olivia moved to the edge of her chair sensing the panic in Rafe rise.

"Isn't it true you made up the whole thing?"

"No! I saw it he hit her and she cried!" Rafe was close to tear. No had believed him or they told him to be quiet. "He didn't like me!"

They jury sat back confused as to what the prosecutor thought she would gain by making the young man cry.

"And that made you angry to be rejected." The woman voice rose a bit trying to push Rafe's button to remember the day at least slip up ripping an alibi.

"Objection your honor!" Doris stood up from her chair as did Natalia.

The guard by the door put a hand on Natalia's shoulder stopping her from moving towards her son.

"Truth is you never saw anything?" The prosecutor raised her voice over the commotion. "Raphael isn't it true you made the whole thing up, your father never touched you or your mother?"

"Objection your honor!" Doris shouted over the question.

Rafe did his best not to cry, but the noise was too loud for his ear, reminding him of his father. "No he did! I didn't want to but I cried and he tried to kill me. But Olivia saved me and Emma. She said he would never hurt us again!"

The room became eerily quiet at the screaming child.

"But you didn't know Olivia then and Nicholas never saw your sister!" The attorney walked to the jury with a triumphant smile on her face, knowing Rafe was talking about the murder. The recognition registered on some of jurors' faces.

"No she did save me!" Rafe slammed him balled fist on the railing standing from his, his turn red as he stared the woman down.

"No Rafe she couldn't have. Did your dad try to shot you and Olivia shot him first. You can tell us." The woman stepped closer holding his stare until he looked away.

Rafe hugged his action figure tight trying to decipher the picture in his head. The tears of terror ran down his face as he watched his shoes. "No! Olivia wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Yes she would and you're lying for her Rafe. You're lying!" She yelled over him.

"Objection!"

"No!" Rafe answer, no one could hear him over the attorneys yelling.

"You know what happened!"

"Objection!"

"Order!" the judge banged his gavel trying to stop the attorney from her rough questioning.

Rafe dropped his figures curling on the floor covering his ears. He remember the glass being thrown and broken down stairs, he remembered the yelling and the sound of his Ma crying under his father fist. The gun pointed at his back, he remembered the guns going off as he was held by his shirt unable to get loose from the bigger man in the hotel lobby. He remembered his father kicking in the door to his sisters' room when he tried to protect her. He remembered the gun being pointed in his face while he was called a bastard, his father snatching Emma from his arms pushing him down and making him hit his head on the wall. He remembered the plate falling millisecond before he knew he had to get somewhere safe before the hitting, choking, or slapping. He remembered a lot of things but what he remembered the most was how happy his ma was and how he didn't have to worry if she was okay or if his dad was coming after him next.

"You bitch!" Natalia whipped free of the hold of the officer.

Olivia was already pulling Rafe from the floor holding him in her arms.

The jury watched the scene play out in astonishment. It was clear to every one the prosecution was out of line but she seemed to have taken a gamble and lost, what no one could figure out was what she expected to gain for breaking a child on the stand. No one knew and for all they didn't care. Suddenly Olivia and Doris looked like angels and their mob partners were A students.

"Who do you think you are?" Natalia pointed her finger in the face of the attorney. Ready to kill the only thing that held her back was Olivia and he crying son.

"He did." Rafe wrapped his arms around Olivia's neck.

"I know Superman." Olivia kissed the top of Rafe's head

"Stop her." Judge Allen pointed to Chadwick the Bailiff at the back of the court room. "Miss. Spencer you leave his room and I will hold you in contempt."

Natalia joined Olivia in the middle of the room rubbing Rafe's back.

"I don't care he's not doing this anymore." Olivia walked from the stand to the back of the room.

The jury sat in shock at the statement. They waited on pins a needles waiting for the judge to say anything.

"Bailiff, remove the jury from the court room. Chambers."

The man stepped in front of the door cutting off the threesomes escape.

"Chad if you don't move you will regret it for the rest of your life." Olivia's eyes turned an unnatural dark green as she stared at the man.

Officer Chadwick only resisted for a moment before stepping aside.

Olivia sat Rafe on the bench just outside the court room trying to calm him. "I'm so sorry Superman. I should have never-"

Natalia wrapped her arms around her family trying to soothe him and Olivia.

"Judge Allen I think we should have another professional talk to the boy." Mrs. Rincon walked into the office behind Doris already talking before the door could be closed.

"We've already had two speak with him." Doris stepped in front of her addressing the judge.

"A third won't hurt."

"NO." The gray haired mans voice boom through his office silencing the women's bickering. "The boys' testimony will be thrown out."

The out of towner crossed her arms like a child. "Your honor I'm requesting a mistrial. His testimony has already tainted the jury." The Prosecutor stepped forward arguing her case. Not only had his testimony swayed the jury but her actions would fare bad for her case.

As if he were reading her mind the Judge stared her down. "You should have thought about that before you treated a child like a hostile witness on the stand. I won't have it in my courtroom. The boys' testimony will be thrown out and proceedings will start again tomorrow promptly at 8."

OLIVIA

Standing in the bathroom mirror takes me back to the night Natalia asked me to get sober. She told me I was force, that I could do anything. Lately it had been feeling that way; like I could do no wrong especially when she's by my side backing me up. Today was different. I messed up. I knew I shouldn't have let Rafe take the stand, the Judge said he didn't have to but I let him anyway for that woman to destroy.

But this is harder than watching him cry, because I can't be there for him. He seemed fine when they left but I know he'll have a nightmare and I won't be there to comfort him, or sit up with him. I promised to protect him but I left him out in the open for the lions.

"Hey." Doris walks into the bathroom already in her pajamas.

"Hey." I wash my face of the days' make up.

"You okay?"

"Fine." Then there is Doris. For the last few days she's been in and out; not paying attention to testimony, the funny looks when Natalia is mentioned, and just the around funny feeling I get when were alone, like now.

"How's Rafe?"

"He seemed good; ate plenty of ice cream and cake, probably going to be up all night with a stomach ache." I smile at her in the mirror but she looks away, not Doris like at all. "What's with you?" I turn around leaning against the counter.

She shifts from one foot to the other. "Well you promised popcorn and soft core porn movies. I've been in there laughing at the corny lines by myself."

"Doris what is wrong-" Before I can compete my sentence her lips are upon mine; her tongue sliding its way into my mouth. As quickly as it happened it ends. Her hands trap me on the counter.

"What was that?" I think I would be mad if the shock had worn off.

She shakes her head in disbelief. "I was talking to Johnny he said…he said I love you…but I don't, I just had to make sure."

"By kissing me!" The shock shifts to anger at her action knowing how I feel about Natalia, my family. How could she be so selfish? I push her away. "How could you be so selfish; I'm getting married!" This is the last thing I need today.

"I know, I know that."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm did that for both of us!"

"You have some nerve Doris. I can't believe you think-"

"Oh save it Olivia. I know you've though about it. I see how Natalia looks at me. I know she has to nag you about spending time with me and I know you've thought about us…being together!" She takes a step closer to me.

"No."

"Yes you have. I have eyes, the way you look at me sometimes like you wonder what could have been."

It doesn't matter that she's right. Sometimes when Natalia says off handed things about our relationship, I wonder if things would be easier with Doris. I wonder if I had never gone to that party with her and Rodney if things would have been different. I wonder sometimes if Doris did believe in love if we could have been. "It doesn't matter." But I still want to know. "So?"

She shakes her head. "I didn't feel anything. You?"

"It was kind of quick but no." Doris frowns; did she want me to feel something? "You know what this is about?"

"Me not liking Natalia?"

"No…why don't you like her, she's…later…you're mad." I take a step closer to her, just in reach. "When Natalia left I made you a promise I would stay sober but I lied. I lied to you. I went out and overdosed without saying goodbye to you. You thought I was going to die that time and when I didn't the worry left and you were angry and I never apologized for putting you through that." I wrap my arms around her waist settling my chin on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I never meant to put you through that mess. I wasn't thinking about anyone but me and I'm sorry."

Doris leans her head back against my shoulder. "You really scared me." Her fingers lock in mine. "I thought that was it, the doctors said that was it and I couldn't take it. But you lived; you woke up like nothing had happened."

"I'm so sorry I was being selfish but never forget that I am so thankful for all the things you've done for me. All the times you've picked me up off the floor, called 911 and sat by my bedside. I couldn't have done it without you and I'll never forget that."

With a sudden twist we're standing face to face. She's still frowning, with her eyes refusing to meet mine. "You know what I thought about when I got to the hospital, I thought about what I did. I tried everything I could to cheer you up. Then I walked into that room and you were shaking and jerking. Everyone was yelling and moving so quick." Her voice trials off as she breaks my hold on her. She takes a step back. "You stopped. You stopped breathing while I was standing there being useless."

"Doris"

"No you stopped breathing and all I could do was stand there and think of was finding you on that bathroom floor covered in blood and vomit all those years ago. I almost lost it. I saw you lying there bleeding on that cold tile floor and all I could think of was that you would never know how hard I tried to make things right. How much I wanted to take that night back. There was so much blood!" She takes my hands holding my wrist up for inspection. She knows the scar has faded to nothing. Still she knows where it was. "I saw you."

"That was along time ago." I pull my hands out of her grasp.

"It was yesterday and now all I can worry about is the next time. Will you succeed in killing yourself? Will I find you? Will you call and say goodbye?"

"I'm not going to kill myself." I place my hands on the sides of her face. "Look at me; I'm not going to do that again. It was stupid. I was young. I have so much to live for; you, Natalia, Rafe, and Emma."

Doris twits out of my grip. "I can't stop thinking about it. Because you say that and then I start to believe and then I get frantic calls from Rodney. 'Olivia overdosed'. I don't want that phone call. I hate answering my phone when he calls because I know what it is about and I know it my fault."

"It's not!" I scream at her. "It's not your fault, its not Rodney's, Weller's or Lily's. It's mine. I did those things. I drank when you told me to slow down. I stayed in that room with Lily when everyone had left. I was the one who couldn't handle what happen and I was the one who tried to take the easy way out!" I don't know how many times I have to say it. How many ways can I show her, it wasn't her fault, it was mine. I have come to terms with it, why can't she.

"If you would have never when to that party…Three times Olivia. Three. I thought maybe I should let you go, then maybe you would be in a happier place, but then I think about it, I don't believe in heaven there is no happy place, there's just death. There's darkness, there nothing. So I keep trying."

I sigh knowing I'm not going to win this fight. "It was twice."

"Three." She corrects.

I throw my hands up, it's futile. "I told you the first time was an accident."

"No Olivia you don't accidently take a whole bottle of pills then drink a fifth of vodka the day after you were assaulted!"

"It was four pills and I was hurting they weren't helping."

"While you hid in the bathroom!"

"You wouldn't leave me alone."

"Because the nurse said you were depressed and you might hurt your self." She walks from on end of the bathroom to the next.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself Doris. I was trying to make the pain go away so I could sleep just for a few minutes without reliving flashes that I didn't know if they were real or not." I can't reason with her. She doesn't believe a word I say.

"That!" She stops her pacing pointing accusingly at me."That! The pain Olivia."

"You aren't me. You don't know what I was going through!"

"No I don't but you can't bottle it up until you do something drastic to stop it. How many doctors have I referred you to, counselors, groups, or recovery centers?"

"I know I fucked up. I screw up my life and yours!"

"I didn't say that."

"I know I'm trying to make things right. I am. I'm trying so how about you give me a little leeway." I tell her in the calmest voice I can muster. It's been long over do and probably isn't worth much but she deserves this much. I walk over to her hugging her until she relaxes and embraces me back. I hear her sigh in my shoulder. "Doris I am so sorry for not trusting you. I am sorry for all the times you've had to feel helpless or burden but most of all I'm thankful that you stuck in there because without you I might not be here today. I love and nothing will change that, so thank you for loving me back even when I pushed you away."

"I love you too."

I pull back from her looking her in the eyes. I didn't think those words would mean much to me but I feel a lot better after saying them. I know she does too I can see it in her body. "How about we sit down and have a nice long talk maybe you'll feel better and if not I'll let you hit me."

"I'm not going to hit you." She chuckles wiping her eyes of unleashed tears.

"I know but don't say I didn't offer." I pull her out o the bathroom settling on the bed with the bowl of cold popcorn between us.

"I just don't see what you see in her." She throws a cornel in air catching it in her mouth. "I've always known you believe in the fairytale love and all the crap but what's so special about her?"

"Because Natalia is Natalia. She's loving, attentive, strong and smart."

"Great in bed?"

"And great in bed."

Doris flips through the titles of movies. "Invasion of the Booty Snatchers?"

"Why not?" We both lay back against the headboard. "I love her, I don't know why. Maybe it's the way she can make everything better with the touch of her hand. Maybe it's the way she just knows when something is wrong and has a simple answer for it or maybe it just is"

"Or the sex."

I roll my eye slapping Doris on the arm. "Whatever it is, I know I don't want to lose it. I know I need to wake up everyday knowing she's there and will be for the long run." I sit up turning to my best friend. "I need this in need her in my life." My tongue feels like it's swelling in my mouth or my throat just got tighter. "Please don't make me choose. I love you both, I need you both."

Doris moves the bowl scooting over wrapping her arms around my shaking shoulders. " I wouldn't do that. I love you too." She pulls back sitting back against the headboard. "So what is it about the sex anyway?"

"If I tell you, you can't tell Blake I've already had an earful about it." I sit back feeling a little foolish. I know she wouldn't make me choose. I just can't shake the feeling, especially after what happened in the bathroom.

"Cross my heart."

NATALIA

"Shh." I hush Blake and Lindsey's laughter. "I thought I heard Emma."

They both roll their eyes resuming their giggling.

We have the sitting chart spread out on the kitchen table trying to arrange it, but we can't agree on anything.

"I don't understand inviting all these people to the reception and not the wedding." Lindsey scuffs taking another sip of her mix drink.

"I already told you and Olivia wanted these people to come to the reception. I don't even know most of these people."

"Maybe we should go banquet style with long table that way people won't be trap with five people they don't like." Blake picks up another name trying to find a table to sit it at.

"At mine and Jaime's wedding we didn't have table just a dance floor and finger foods. We were so worried about the honeymoon we hardly said goodbye to anyone." She smiles lazily as a thought passes over her features. "It was wild."

"You know what me and Frank did for our honeymoon?"

"Let me guess you slept with Doris and he used your lotion." Lindsey says before I can make the same joke.

Blake frowns rolling her eyes. "That was after the wedding but that night we drove to the beach and sat all night, it was beautiful. Thank you very much." Blake raises her glass before gulping the rest of it down. "What do you have planned? Tell me its something kinky."

"I don't know. Rafe and Emma are going to be there. But I don't want to disappoint either. This is supposed to the special night." I shrug. "We been fulfilling each other fantasies it just seem like we've done everything."

"You couldn't have done everything." Lindsey sits back in her chair with a look of disbelief.

"Well not everything but we promised to pace ourselves. Start small, you know, go down the list." I wave them to lean in making sure no spying ears can hear our conversation. "I've been practicing talking dirty but I don't think Olivia likes the way I talk. I just can't say some of those words."

They both look at each other before bursting into a side splitting laugh. Lindsey actually rolls out of her chair.

What the hell is so funny about me not being about to talk dirty? I guess this is what happens when I ask Olivia to stop telling Doris our bedroom secret and I turn around and do the same thing. Impatiently I wait for their laughter to die down and Lindsey to get back in her seat.

"Are you kidding Natalia? Olivia loves when you talk dirty." Blake says wiping her eyes.

"Did Wolfe tell you that?" I can't believe Olivia would divulge that kind of information knowing Doris is going to tell Blake who going to tell Lindsey and God knows who else.

"You know it, but that doesn't matter."

Lindsey jumps in, "What matters is that you are all she wants, you're all she talks about. I heard them talking one time and she had to have said your name 10 times in one minute."

"I just worry sometimes that I'm not wild enough for her." I play with one of the name card accidently ripping the edge.

"Okay." Lindsey composes herself. "What do you like about the sex?"

"I don't know. The way she looks at me, the way we can make foreplay last for hours, the way she lets me take the lead, how she responds to me, the way she breathes my name. How her body quivers at my touch, or the flash of fear in her eyes when I enter her, but just for a second, because she knows she can trust me. I like the way her body feels wrapped around my fingers, the way it pull them in deeper begging for release. They way she holds on to me so tight that I can't breathe. The way her nails dig into my back or hip. I love the way she stops breathing in that tiny moment, that two second frame she says 'I love you'. I love the way that as she comes down as she looks at me, holds me, whispering like nothing else matter, it's just us that exist in the whole world." I snap myself out of my trance looking at them both with their mouth open.

"I want that." Blake lays her head on the table.

"I had that."

Jokingly, I try to cheer them up. "Believe it or not that was the first draft of my vows."

TRAIL PART 23

CANDY

Doris had to pinch herself just to keep from going into shock. But there she was Cynthia 'Candy' Settles. The funny thing is that in a town so small Doris had forgotten all about the woman, forgotten she had ever existed.

Plastic surgery had kept her looking fairly young, the DD breast implants never failed to turn heads especially in her time as a dancer. Candy had never hurt for money she always had a back up plan. A few of her customers had soft spot in their hearts for so she never lost.

The whole courtroom gasped as the woman walked into the room wearing a very tight pants suit with a shirt and jacket that was just hanging on by a button.

Natalia nearly passed out, she hadn't seen the woman since the first trail and was hoping she would never see the woman again, but there she was hand raised on the stand ready to tell the whole world her story. As the initial shock wore off Natalia almost smiled, she had forgotten to thank the woman for keeping Nicholas occupied. She would have to do it later.

"Mrs. Settles." Prosecutor Rincon rose from her seat walking to the stand.

"Please call me Candy, everyone else does." The bleach blond woman squeezed her arms together lifting her breast for everyone to see. She smiled sweetly at the attorney who visibly shivered disgusted by the display.

"Okay, Candy. How long did you live in Springfield?"

"Oh my whole life until after the trail I moved to Atlanta. I figure it was too much craziness going around."

"And how long have you know the defendants Ms. Spencer and Mayor Wolfe?'

"I don't know a long time, pretty much since they blew into this town. I was about 24, 25 when I met them with Rodney. I was stripping at 'The Pit'. They were frequent customers."

"Please tell us about your time together."

"Like I said I was working as a stripper. I remember they came in already drunk and almost got threw out. I danced for Rodman first."

"You mean Rodney York?"

"Yea I call him Rodman. I danced for him first then I danced for Wolfe. They were throwing money everywhere, had to be a couple of thousand. Anyway we were talking and the Mayor gave me a line. I remember she said something like 'I can open your eyes to a whole new world' of some crap like that. But I fell for it. We partied together for almost 2 month just none stop. They took me around the world places I've never seen before."

"Just to be clear you've have sexual relations with all three of them; Mayor Wolfe, Ms. Spencer and Rodney York?"

"You didn't just have sex with one of them, why would you. So of course I slept with all three of them. All the way up till I left for Atlanta." Candy shrugged her shoulder, letting out a little chuckle at the absurd question.

The whole room fell silent except for the clanging of rosary beads falling to the hardwood floor from a shocked Natalia's hand.

Olivia didn't bother to turn around she knew Natalia was probably staring a hole in the back of her head.

"But everyone was doing it, sleeping around you know."

"Mhm, no I don't but tell me about your relationship over the years." The young attorney smiled at the shocked expression on Natalia's face. Maybe a shock to the system will stop her from covering for Olivia.

"My relationship with the Wolfe pretty much ended when we got back to town. I can't blame her she had ambitions. But my relationship with Olivia and Rodman was still on high. We chilled a lot. I myself was never really in to cocaine but they were. At first it was cool but I kind of distanced myself from their cocaine parties."

"What changed?"

"They did! You do not want to be around them when they are high. Olivia will become so paranoid she'd lock herself in a room till she came down sometimes. And Rodney will swear someone did something to her and would just start fights. I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull him off of someone before he killed them."

"So they were violent?"

"Rodney definitely but Olivia only sometimes; it was like one minute she was funny and spirited and the next she was cursing and screaming. When they crashed, you know came down, it was worse. She would be depressed, you know really bring the party to a halt. Rodney would get really quiet like he was in deep thought."

Olivia was trying her hardest not to shift under the judgmental gaze of the jury. More so she was breaking her neck just to continue to look forward. Every muscle in her neck was rebelling, trying to make her turn around to meet the no doubt fury gaze of Natalia.
"Can you recall a particular incident?"

"Oh yea I'll never forget it. They were on like a two week binge. And we were up in Olivia's hotel partying, having sex and stuff. She asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom. Things started getting hot and heavy. I don't what I did but she freaked out; started yelling at me about trying to hold her down. The guy I was dating came in to see what the problem was, he was high to. Rodney came in and started wailing on him. Olivia runs to the bathroom and locked herself in. The next thing I know the cops are there and Rodney s fighting with them. Wolfe comes in and throws everyone out. The next morning I heard Olivia had overdosed. I kind of started to distance myself after that."

"Okay let's skip ahead and talk about your relationship with the victim. How did it start?"

"I was working when Nicholas came into the club. At first he kind of gave me a hard time. He called me a whore and ever other name under the sun, but I didn't pay any attention to it. I know men and it was obvious he had some mother or wife issues and he was drunk. About a week later he came back with flowers and asked me to breakfast when I got off. That morning we went to a hotel and had sex. I felt sorry for him; he said his wife was cheating on him with his best friends."

"Do you make a habit of sleeping with people you feel sorry for?"

Candy shrugged her shoulders. "Anyway he asked me to meet him again. I told him it would cost and he said okay. Four or five times a week we met at the hotel he paid me 150 for sex. But I think he really just wanted to talk about his wife and how she tried to trap him. I didn't really listen. It just seemed like he was crazy to me."

"Did he ever have any other suspicion about his wife cheating?"

"Once he said he thought Officer Cooper was sleeping with her, but that's all I heard him say."

"Did he ever say anything about abuse being a part of there relationship?"

"No, not to me."

"The end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010, after the first trial and while Ms. Rivera was away did you have any sexual contact with any of the defendants?"

"Yes. I returned after Rodman called me up, I had sex with Olivia but only because she seemed so depressed I thought I could make her feel better like old times."

"And before that when was the last time you were sexual with Ms. Spencer?"

"That summer I think it was around the end of June around there. I was there with two other women but I left early that night to go to work. They told me later she kicked them out, but my friend Lisa has a problem with theft, she was problem stealing." Candy waved dismissively at the jury gallery.

"No more questions." The prosecutor turned to the jury one more time. She was sure all twelve of the jurors were repulsed by everything the two women at the table stood for.

Doris rose from her seat, calmly straightening her jacket. Inside she was cursing up a storm. She stood still for a second making sure her legs would collapse from under her. "Candy, how are you?"

"Fine." Candy smiled flirtatiously twirling her hair around her finger.

Blake rolled her eyes at the act; she couldn't count how many time people fell for the innocent act of the former stripper.

"It's been awhile."

"Almost three years."

"Yes it has." The Mayor stepped around the table walking to middle of the floor. "I know you know a lot about Ms. Spencer?"

"You could say."

"How much did you know about Nicholas Autoro?"

"Not much just what I heard and what he told me."

"But you know about his temper also?"

"I think everyone knew about it."

"Objection!"

"Over ruled." Judge Allen waved the prosecutor off.

Doris slowly walked to the opposite side of the jury. "You know first hand, just like Ms. Rivera?"

"Yes."

"So tell us what you recall."

"There was this one time Nicolas was outside of the club when I got off work one morning. We usually meet at the hotel but he was waiting. He saw one of the bouncers walk me to my car and I gave him a hug. I guess it lasted too long for Nicky; he confronted us in front of the club. He ran up to me a wrapped his hand around my throat but Rick, the bouncer, pulled him off of me. They fought for a bit before I told Rick he was a cop. When we got to hotel he said he was sorry. He said he loved me and that seeing me with someone else made him crazy. He promised he wouldn't do it again."

"And did he do it again?"
"Once. But not to me. Amber, another girl at the club told me he chocked her until she passed out. I saw her the next day she had a bruise around her neck and a few on her stomach. I told her she should call the cops. After that I stopped seeing him."

"And it was over just like that."

"No. For a couple of days I thought he was stalking me. Then I saw him at the bar with his wife. I was low on cash so I invited him to come back to the hotel with me. A couple of days after that was when the shooting happened."

"And you skipped town?"

"Hell yea…oops sorry, but yea I left. I mean everyone knows you can't hurt Olivia without a visit from Rodney or you. So when I heard Olivia was shot I knew everyone Nicholas ever touch would regret knowing him." Candy leaned forward speaking enthusiastically.

"Did you witness Mr. Autoro ever being threaten or attacked?

"Well, yea. A lot of people didn't like him. He used to rough people up so it wasn't unusual for people to threaten to kill him or just to hear people talking about it. I was surprised no one had hurt him yet. Like I said he had a temper."

Visit

Olivia

You son of a bitch, you did this on purpose. I stop my rambling at God when I think I hear the door being opened but it turns out it just my imagination. I'll be surprised if Natalia even shows up for our visit. I know there isn't going to be any sex involved. Oh no, we are going to have a very long long talk about just how many women there where and of course she won't believe me when I tell her I don't remember sleeping with Candy. Truthfully she could be lying, but most likely not. Plus I can't be held responsible for the things I did when I was high.

We should definitely put that on paper. Olivia Spencer can not be held responsible for the things she did when she was high. Yep that would take care of anything that might ever pop up in the future.

God she is going to be mad.

My head jerks to the door as it opens. I expect Remy to walk in and tell me Natalia refused but low and behold there is the future Mrs. Spencer, mad as hell, but at least she came. That means she can't be that mad.

"Before you say anything Natalia, I'm sorry for not telling you but I didn't remember sleeping with her."

She puts her hand up. "You know what Olivia I just came to tell you that I am very, very upset and that maybe we shouldn't be in the same room right now." I can see the anger in her eyes.

"That's not fair, you're not even going to let me explain what happened."

Her face morphs from stone cold to disbelief. "I asked you. I asked you were you involved with anyone else. And you said no. That I was the only person you were sleeping with."

"I know."

"Then why would you lie to me Olivia." She starts to yells. "Do you know how many diseases could have been passed around? Its bad enough she was sleeping with my husband and half the town."
"I know Natalia trust me, I was nothing but careful with you. I went to get checked up and I hate needles. But it was once." If she can get angry I can to. She might have a reason but I have one to. She was sleeping with Nicholas while we were together. And I have proof. Candy could be lying but I know for sure she was going behind my back or right in front of me. The point is I'm not the only guilty party here. She's done just as much as I have in this relationship. "And what about you! You were sleeping with Nicholas, you didn't bother to tell me that until I saw Emma!"
"Don't bring Emma into this. I told you it was once and that was all it was. You lied to me. When all you had to do was tell the truth. God! Olivia, do you even know how that makes me feel to have to find this stuff out from some stripper in front of every one!"

"Stop yelling!"

"No because this is how I feel! I feel stupid to even think that you could be faithful to me!" Her hand flies over her mouth before she can strike again.

What? There are so many conflicting feeling swirling around fighting for dominance. I'm hurt but I know she's angry and maybe I should have let her go. I'm frustrated that she's right, I lied but that's no reason to hit below the belt. I'm mad because every time we argue it comes back to me.

I can be faithful. I'm not some slut who can't keep her legs closed. If anything she should be…why the hell am I sitting here defending myself? I was an addict. I wasn't exactly thinking with a clear head. I told her I didn't remember a lot of what happen, this is part of it. So why the fuck do I always have to be the bad person.

She starts to speak a lot calmer. "I know about your past. I know you have a lot of notches in your bedpost but the least you can do is be truthful about it." Natalia walks across the floor from the door to the window. "I'm asking you not to lie to me." She turns back to me with tears in her eyes.

I know what she's going to ask and I want to lie so bad, for her sake.

"Were there any other women?"

"Yes." That's the truth. I know there were, I just can't remember how many or when exactly.

Her shoulders slump impossibly low.

"But I love you and I couldn't have you so I tried to…I don't know, I just wanted to be with you and I tired the next best thing when I couldn't have you."

The first tear rolls down one perfect cheek bone, I move to wipe it away but she slaps my hand away.

"What about Doris was she one of them?"

Okay this is a tricky question. It can go either way. I've already lied about it once. There is no way she can know because Doris was sworn to secrecy. If I tell her the truth she'll freak knowing I'm cooped up in the suite with Doris. But if I lie she could find out down the road. But I only slept with Doris once in college. So if she means did I sleep with Doris while she was gone then the answer would be no.

But she could mean ever. Have I ever slept with Doris? Yes. Did I while we were together or when she left, "No."

She shakes her head in disbelief. "How can we get married if I don't trust you?"

"God Natalia you have nothing to worry about I would never cheat on you. I love you and only you. Why would I jeopardize what we have for a one night stand that will do nothing for me? Why don't you just believe me?"

She pushes past me to the door.

"You think this doesn't hurt me. I hate to see you hurting."

She pauses for second, hand on the knob.

"Natalia we're not finished."

"Yes we are Olivia, more that you know." She walks out of the room knowing I can't follow. Still I run after her.

"Whoa. You know you can't go." Remy steps in front of me.

"Please Remy I need to talk to her before she leaves."

"You know I can't let you go. You'll be thrown in jail."

I know he's doing his job but he could give me a little slack, my fiancé might have just broken off our wedding.

"Oh look who came back early from her afternoon hump fest." Johnny jumps of the couch holding a comb for some reason I don't care about. "You're faster than Jason back there."

"Hey fuck you Johnny boy."

"I said don't call me that." He whines like a little girl. His voice actually raises a few octaves.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The only person I can relate to for some reason Jessie peaks his head out of the kitchen. I have to stop myself from laughing at his ridiculous apron and chef hat.

Now is not the time to laugh and I don't want to cry in front of them. Where the hell is Doris, I need a shoulder to lean on.

"If you're looking for Wolfe she went down stairs to get…" Johnny scratches his head. "I don't know where she went, really."

Great stuck in his place with the three stooges.

I drag over to the couch flopping down on it.

"Hey I know what will make you feel better." Johnny has a glint in his eyes that I'm not sure if I should be scared of.

"No, I'm just going to go in my room and you guys are going to leave me alone. When Doris gets here"

"When I get here what?" Doris walks in holding two arms full of cds.

"Fuck yea you got them."Johnny jumps over me to Doris

"Got what? What are you two up to?"

"Well we decide to do karaoke tonight since I know you were probably going to have rough time with you're girlfriend." Doris drop next to me. "So I got 90's boy bands, lesbian folk artist and some rap."

"Rap?"

"Hell yea, you put in some Jay Z or Will Smith, I dare you not to dance."

"I really doubt they make dance music, well maybe Will Smith."

"You just have to know how to move." Johnny flips through the cds his smile growing wider by the moment. "Here, the best of Backstreet boys." He holds the disc up like a trophy. "Every one grab a comb, I'm A.J."

"First of fall I only sing and dance when I'm high. Secondly my wedding engagement was just possibly broken off and you want to sing."

"Come on Olivia cheer up. I'm sure your wife will call up and you two will have phone while I'm trying to sleep." Doris hands me a comb.

Natalia

I can't believe she is still lying to me about this and that. I told her everything that happened to me from the moment I left Springfield and I get nothing. I get 'Does it really matter' or 'I can't remember'.

I don't believe her when she says that. There is no way she can just black out for 3 months. The first three months after I left, are still a mystery to me. No one, not even Blake will tell me what happened. I know Lindsey knows to. They both get a guilty look about them when I ask, but they don't break. All they say is ask Olivia. And back to Olivia. How could she not tell me she was sleeping with that…that slut. That's right I called her a slut. It's obvious that everyone has slept with her. What kind of grown woman goes on a world trip with three people she just met?

Oh my God there is no telling who else she slept with. I never even thought about getting tested. How could I have been so stupid? I knew Nicky was sleeping around and I had sex with him. He could have given me something; Olivia too. I could have put Emma at risk.

"Natalia!"

"What!" I snap at Blake. I don't mean to be mad at her but everything is becoming so twisted. "I'm sorry; I did mean to yell at you."

"No, its okay. You just found out that you were in a…um what would it be, a figure eight. Anyway it's a lot to take in. But your food is getting cold."

"Do you think I was too hard on her?"I twist my fork in the paste just because I need something to do.

"A little." Lindsey waves her fork. "We both know you are upset because she didn't tell you but you have to see it from her point of view too. You already have a view of her and she's probably just hoping she can keep it going."

"But I ask her all the time. And I say that it doesn't matter, I just don't want to hear it from someone else. Is that so much to ask for her to be honest with me?"

"Oh cut her some slack Natalia! She was on drugs for god sakes and that doesn't excuse her behavior." Blake holds up her hands before I can reply. "But you try doing a 3 month coke binge and try to remember what happened, I mean after-"

"Ow!" I rub my shin. "Lindsey did you just kick me."

"Sorry I was trying to kick her."

"Well you shouldn't. Olivia already told me she relapsed while I was gone."

The table grows silent.

"I think maybe you should go back and let her explain. And you should also keep an open mind. What she did before meeting you and while you were gone shouldn't be held against her. You have to know that she and Doris ran through half the town before you arrived and there are bound to be more women running out of the wood works to tell you about it." Blake grips her glass of wine taking a small sip. "I mean it's not like she had her slutty trailer park trash pick her up from jail or that she's probably fucking one of the maids right now. Hell for all you know that trip to Louisiana was just an excuse to go gamble and meet some prostitutes."

Lindsey puts her hand on Blake forearm. "I thought we talked about this already."

"I know I know." Blake shrugs her off. "I like playing the field don't get me wrong. I like dating or having sex with no strings attached but it would be nice if every once and a while she called me."

"You know Blake there are a lot of people in this town that really admire you."

Is Lindsey coming on to Blake!

"Are you coming on to me?"

"No. It's just my wife is just like Doris."

"You mean the one you go meet at some hotel every other weekend." I ask her, jokingly.

"Yes and we were not meeting at hotels we are trying to reconcile through counseling, for your information."

A counselor going to counseling that makes a lot of sense. "So when will we get to meet her?"

"At the wedding, oh and Natalia don't be mad but I told her I slept with Olivia but that was a long time ago I doubt she even remembers, but like I was saying Jaime is just like Doris and somewhat Olivia."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you have to play their game. Like with Jaime. When we first met we didn't sleep together for several months. I thought maybe if I made her work for it she would want me more but I found out she was seeing someone else. I was mad but mostly at myself."

"And how is this supposed to help me?"

"You have to turn the tables. Be the first to get up and leave. Go ahead and call but then cancel and make sure she sees you with someone else and if all else fails ignore her completely. It might take a while but it will work"

"Lindsey I hate to burst your bubble-"

"You have to show Doris that you don't need her you have plenty of options." Lindsey interrupts Blake.

"I thought that was what I was doing by dating other people."

"You were on the track but then you run when she calls. You can't, next time she calls you ignore it, do it for a couple of days."

"She is right; you have done a poor job of making her jealous." I try to take the edge off of my words.

"I know I don't know why."

Lindsey raises her hand receiving a reluctant head nod from Blake.

"Oh my god I have been waiting to do this." She excitedly takes a deep breathe. "You are addicted to power and confidence. You married Frank because he was a police officer and to piss Wolfe off. I bet you always wanted to use the cuffs or ride along with him. Just to see him in action. Some where along the line you discovered you had the power over him so you used it and that is why you looked outside of you're marriage. You think you love Doris because she has probably never backed down from a challenge. She has the money and power to make just about anything happen and she knows it. It's exciting and at the same time you hate it. I'm guessing you had an unpredictable childhood. Maybe moved a lot or a lot of 'uncles'."

"That's is not true." Blake takes a nervous sip of her wine. "I am not attracted to power."

"Yes you are. I think the only reason you even run after Doris so much is because she acts the way she does, like she doesn't want you. And she knows it."

"Do me." I don't know why I said that but I want to here if anything has changed since our first meeting. I like to think I'm more stable.

"Don't tempt me." Lindsey winks.

"I'm serious, Lindsey."

"This whole thing is not about Candy. It's about Doris Wolfe being in the same hotel room as your future wife. You are insecure, because of the years of abuse that you pretend you are over but you aren't. And probably never will. You pretend that your marriage never happened and that you're this confident woman walking around with the hottest woman in town. The woman that has killed for you and you're still worried she'll leave one day and find another to kill for. You're mad because Olivia won't fess up to sleeping with Doris. In you're mind you're thinking that maybe something is still there. Why else would they be so close after all these years. She had a piece of Olivia that you will never have. Before all the shit hit the fan in her life Doris was there. And you will never be able to see that part of Olivia. The parts of her that isn't scared to be held down or tied up. The parts that is not scared to relapse or that might relapse because of an argument or a fight you two have and who will she run to, Wolfe. She'll go there one day and get drunk and fuck Doris till she can't walk and there is nothing you can do about it. You're wondering if they slept together while you were gone and are laughing behind your back right now."

"That enough." I don't want to hear anymore.

"You like the power in the bedroom but you're sacred wondering if it will be too much for Olivia to handle. Or what if Rodney comes back and the three of them ride off into the sunset. Or maybe Olivia will want out when Rafe becomes a problem."

"He won't."

"You and I both know Rafe is a ticking time bomb."

"No, he isn't. We talk to him all the time about his anger and how to control it."

"But he can't and that worries you. He'll grow up to be like Nicholas and what will Olivia want with a twist teenager, when she could be with Doris and Rodney snorting cocaine and sleeping with everything that walks."

"I said that's enough!" I slap my palm on the table because rattling the place settings. The restaurant becomes quiet as people try not to stare at us.

But she might be right. Even though I pretend, I can't get over the fact that things are not perfect and they never will be. It could all come crumbling down if Olivia ever decided.

"Here's the kicker Natalia. It will be destroyed if you react like this every time you here about some other woman or past endeavors. She might not have told you the whole story and I know that hurts you but you haven't exactly pushed. You take what you get and pretend to be happy. She's not perfect nor is she superwoman but she loves you and bet she'll do anything to keep you by her side or you wouldn't be in this situation."

I shake my head knowing she is right. "You know what Lindsey you can't keep a secret, there." No other words spoke I get up form the table stalking off.

I must be glutton for punishment. If I weren't I wouldn't have ask Lindsey to analyze me. If I weren't I wouldn't have slipped past the officer downstairs. If I weren't I wouldn't be headed up to see Olivia and get the truth. If I weren't I would be happy with knowing just enough.

But I don't want to be that person anymore. I don't want to live with my head in the sand. I want to know the truth even if it hurts. Even if it means the end of us. If she loves Doris more than me Johnny was right I should step aside. Olivia has done more for me than anyone. I can't repay with anything but love and maybe that's not enough.

Maybe my love for Olivia can't match the love she has for Doris.

Before the door even open I can hear the music and the screeching of someone.

I step off the elevator taking in the sight before me. Jessie is playing tennis racket guitar, while Johnny is air drumming and Doris is singing in Olivia's face.

"Natalia!" Olivia jumps off the couch looking guilty.

I came here or a reason. I have to keep the steam going or I won't be able to ask the question, I'll buckle. "Bedroom." I shout above the music just a little ticked that they are partying when we just had a fight.

"Someone is in trouble." Johnny sings.

I shot him a cold stare that makes him sober a little. This is partly his fault for suggesting Olivia and Doris anyway.

I shut the door behind us.

"Natalia-"

"No, let me speak." I take a deep breathe. This could be the end or the real beginning. Either way something has to give. "Olivia I love you. I love everything about you, I think I always have but I can't live like this. I can't keep hearing things because you won't tell me and I can't not trust you around you're best friend because you won't tell the truth. So I'm asking you one last time to tell me the truth or you can take your ring back." I pull the diamond ring of my finger holding it up.

"Wait what."

"I've tried, I've tried to wait for you to open up, but it's been a good part of three years and you're stilling lying about things, things that aren't important to me."

She drops onto the bed with a look of shock.

"If you truly trust me then you need to fill me in right now or this will all be for nothing."

"You're doing this now. That's not fair Natalia."

"Fine." I walk to the door. Before I know it her body is pressed against mine, taking me back to our first sexual encounter. We stand that way what felt like hours. I can feel her heart beating on my back.

"I looked everywhere for you." She whispers in my ear. Even the tension of the moment doesn't stop my body from shivering with arousal.

"I know."

"No you don't. I wanted you so bad and you weren't there. So I quit, I quit on life. Went back to the way things were; parties, drugs, women, just everything." She drops her head onto my shoulder. "One night it was too much and I just wanted the pain to end. Some of my college friends came down and we partied and I…I overdosed."

Forcefully I try to push away from the door, but Olivia stands her ground.

"I can't do this if you're looking at me."

"You did it because of me?"

"No, it was everything, my life, it just became too much at that time. I just wanted…I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. They didn't know if I would make it, but I did. After that I decided to get clean. I start exercising and everything just started to make more sense. I start going to group therapy for the drugs and found out people lives are messed up. Mine was no different and certainly none the worse. From then on I focused on being who I wanted to be instead of just floating along. Then I found you. And I don't want to lose you." She peppers my shoulder with butterfly kisses.

"Why did you lie?"

"Because I know how you feel about my relationship with Doris, but she's my best friend. I need that."

"I wouldn't ask you to choose." Not that I haven't thought about it. The urge to ask now is at a peak. It just wouldn't be fair.

"I know."

"Don't lie to me."

"I won't."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes," My heart stops like an obedient dog following a command "but not like I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I just want to be with you and only you. You're my reason, remember."

"I need to know these things."

"I can't tell you everything right now but I can promise to let you in. I promise I'll share more with you. It's just really hard I don't want you to look at me like everyone else does."

I twist around facing my soon to be wife. Olivia hangs her head down refusing to look at me. "I won't. That's part of being in a relationship; we trust each other, with our thoughts, heart, feelings, and body. I trust you. Can you trust me?" I tilt her chin up with my fingers, tracing the smooth line of her jaw.

Her eye water threatening to let her tears fall. She nods her head, squeezing tighter around my mid-section.

"Olivia?"

"I trust you. I do."

"That means more to me than anything you could ever tell me about your past." I place a kiss on her soft lips. "You mean more."

DORIS

"What do you think they're talking about?"

"How am I supposed to know?" I snap at Johnny. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that." I look inside at the closed door for the thousandth time. They've been in there for sometime. Wonder what little bug Blake put in her ear this time.

"Nah. Its cool I'm used to people snapping at me. I just use up all that pent up frustration, that's why I'm the hands."

"The hands what does that even mean?"

"You know the hands, I'm that one that jacked homie up." He leans in closer to me. "Buddy was still hollering and screaming in the car. So I said 'yo shut the fuck up'. And he still was talking about how he's going to kill the kid and blah blah blah. I told James 'stop the car'. I pull that bitch out and gave it to him, right there on the side of the road. When I got finished he was crying like a real bitch. I mean he pissed his self and everything. By the time Jessie shot him he was begging to suck my dick just to let him live. It was no big deal or anything." Johnny laughs like the truly sadistic person he was taught to be. "What I can't understand is how you got us. No one and mean no one messed with us anywhere then all of a sudden bam I get hit with charges. I told pops, let me take you out. Get this," He slaps my shoulder like I'm not already looking at him. "He says I already got someone on it. And we still end up in court."

"What's your point?" I ask him looking at the door again.

"My point is one how you lived and two where do you get the balls to do the things you do? These people," He swipes his hand on the balcony. "They might not know or want to know all the things you have your hand dipped in but I know. If one thing goes wrong you could be in a lot of trouble and head will roll. Someone could take you out one of these days."

"I know that. I also know your father tried to have me killed but his mistake and everyone else's mistake are the same. They always find people I already know. Sherman the guy he sent. My father prosecuted his father. People forget that I know a lot of people above ground and under it. I'm not scared to die but I also know when its time to throw in the cards." Johnny looks at me confused. "Do you know how many people want me dead; for money, power, or politics?"

He shakes his head.

"Fear has never been part of my personality. I'm not scared of anyone or anything. Not life or death. The things I do are well calculated. What I do is not different from what the normal person does when they take a chance and cheat on their taxes or take an extra newspaper out of the box. Life is a card house, every card has the potential to be the last, I just look at it like this. Nothing was ever gained by playing it safe. If it blows up in your face just make sure you have no one to blame but yourself."

"So when this empire that you've built come crumbling down?" He lifts his eyebrows at me in amusement.

There's nothing amusing about my life, what I do or who I am. "All I can say is I had a good run." I sit back sipping flat coke.

"That's cool I guess. Still doesn't answer my question."

"When it all said and done we die. Heaven and hell are for the birds, I refuse to drink from that watering hole." I sit back waiting for the sun to disappear behind incoming clouds.

"You talk a good game. This whole afraid of nothing is hilarious." He actually giggles. What kind of hit man giggles? I bet if something were to happen to Olivia you wouldn't look so brave."
I turn to him, staring a hole through his forehead. He audibly shallows. "Listen to me Johnny. Firstly Olivia is very capable of protecting herself when she's sober and if anything did happen to her you better believe that person won't live to see the outcome. Just ask David Weller."

He sits back in his chair shaking his head casting a side ways glance at me every few seconds. "You are one wild woman."

The door to the room finally opens. I turn around; just a little to see what's going on.

Olivia walks Natalia to the elevator. The whisper a few words before kissing and then she's gone.

I wait for Olivia to make her way to the open balcony door.

"You okay?" I ask taking her hand in mine.

"Actually I am. I feel a lot better."

"Wedding still on?"

"If we're not in prison by then."

Trail Part 27

Natalia

"Ms. Rivera, correct?"

"Yes." Natalia shifted uncomfortably in the chair. It was the hot seat and she hated being the center of attention especially to people she didn't know. And those people where going to decide her fate, more of Olivia's but she wouldn't let Olivia go down alone. If she had to she would play her cards.

"Your getting married isn't that right?"

"Yes ma'am. Olivia and I are getting married."

"Let's go ahead and start. How long were you and Nicholas Autoro married?"

"We were married for 13 years."

"Young weren't you?"

"We were 17 when we married at the court house." Natalia tore a Kleenex.

"Not the ideal wedding is it?"

"No, it wasn't but we all thought it was necessary for the good of the child."

"Which you lost is that correct?"

Natalia cringed she hated to think about the child. "Yes, I had a miscarriage."

"Why don't you tell us about that day?"

Natalia look at Doris for help but the defense attorney sat back in chair pen poised and ready to take notes.

"We had rented a small apartment a few blocks away from my parents. Nicky had gotten an after school job a factory but we both still went to school during the day. After we got home from school, he started to drink. I told him they were going to fire him if he showed up to work drunk. We start to argue and he accused me of sleeping with one of his friends. He had always thought I had cheated on him. But I always ignored it. We argue most of the day…I don't know, I was tired of him always accusing me of something I didn't do. I told him a hundred times I hadn't done anything with anyone but him. He was screaming at me, calling me name…I slapped him."

"So you started it."

"No I was just frustrated and he was screaming in my face."

"But you hit him first, that is what you just said."

"Yes."

"What happened after you slapped him?"

"He pushed me against a wall and punched me." Natalia wiped the stray tears that dared to leak down her face. "I lost the baby later at the hospital."

"And you stayed with him after."

"No I moved back home. There was only a month left of school and we both graduated. I decide to attend college. He asked me to come back that he wouldn't do it again but didn't believe him."

"And?"

"I went to college for 2 months before moving back home."

"Isn't it correct you moved back home because you allegedly had an affair with you roommate."

"Nothing happened. She was drunk one night and kissed me. She told her boyfriend that I kissed her and he told Nicky who told my parents and we all thought it would be better if I came back home. I decided to give Nicky another chance. At first it was what I had always hoped. He was nice, thoughtful, and he wasn't drinking much. His dad got him a job at the police station."

"What changed?"

"After a year or so he started to drink again. We started to fight. I found out he was cheating on me with a woman from work and I confronted him. He hit me again. He told me he would kill me if I tired to leave. That's when the abuse started. We fought everyday. For a time I fought back but that only made things worse, so I stopped. He accused me of killing his son; I thought he wanted children so I tried for Rafe. But Nicky refused to accept Rafe was his, the whole pregnancy. I thought having a son would make things better but they got worse. He screamed at Rafe when he cried, I tried to protect Rafe the best I could but I couldn't. Nicky had it out for him exploding at every little thing. When Rafe turned three we had a birthday party for him. Nicky showed up drunk and threw everyone out. He tore up the house yelling and screaming and Rafe was so small and scared." Natalia hiccupped, fisting her hands. "I tried to calm him down but he hit me. I told Rafe to stay in his room but he didn't listen. He saw Nicky hit me and started to cry. Nicky hit him so ha…hard. He slapped him across the face. I thought he had kil…killed him. He wasn't moving…I tired so hard to protect him but I couldn't." Natalia shrunk in the wooden chair remembering the night as vivid as yesterday. The instant bruise on Rafe cheek that formed around the small cut still made her chest hurt. "I took Rafe that night and ran. I left with the clothes on my back."

"Where did you go?"

"I tired to go home but my father told me he would go talk to Nicky and everything would be alright, but I knew Nicky would come and try to make me come home so I left. My mother gave me some money and I took a bus ride to Missouri. We stayed in a small town for about two weeks before Nicky showed up."

"And you went back with him?"

"Yes, I didn't know what else to do. But I left Rafe with my parents I didn't want him hurt again."

"Everyone went along with it."

"Yes my parents said they would keep Rafe until everything settled down. I tried to bring Rafe home but Nicky would target him so I left him with my parents."

"How many times did you run?"

"Three."

"You only tried to leave three times?"

"Yes the second time I left, I left Rafe. I thought maybe he would be safe with my parents, but Nicky took him from my parents so I went back. The last time was a few months before we moved here. I took Rafe with me, but Nicky found us again."

"So you move here to start over together without your son and what just decide to start an affair with Olivia Spencer."

"No it wasn't like that."

"So tell us how one day out of the blue you become a lesbian and happen to get involved with one of the richest women in this town."

"I had feelings before. Like I said my roommate kissed me but I didn't exactly crucify her for it. I just let it go as an experiment just being excited about something new. But when I met Olivia I…" Natalia struggled to find the word. "I just felt a pull. I tried to resist it. I swear I did. I couldn't and life at home wasn't any better. I knew Nicky was cheating and I just thought for once in my life I should do something besides be his punching bag or sit at home preparing myself for a beating."

Mrs. Rincon rolled her eyes before stepping back to her table. "So you started to see Olivia Spencer?"

"Yes we started a relationship."
"Did she know you were married?"

"Yes I told her I was married but I told her I wasn't happy."

"Why?"

"She asked."

"She asked if you were happy?"

"Yes."

"And how long did this relationship last?"

"The whole summer into October."

"I think everyone has heard your testimony about that night from the first trial. What I want to know is about the day you're husband was killed. Tell us about your day."

"I went to work for a couple of hour. I left Rafe and Emma with the babysitter. I came back and Olivia was already there. She asked me to come home. I didn't know Nicholas had escaped but she told me. We were talking in my bedroom when we saw the news about Nicholas."

"Ms. Rivera I'm having a hard time believing you. You're telling me that you hadn't seen the breaking news about your tormentors' escape." Mrs. Rincon's high heel tapped loudly in the quiet room.

"I didn't know about it until Olivia told me."

"So you never saw him that whole day and you never saw the three defendants take him away."

Natalia tried to act natural, lying was not out of her range."No I never saw them before and I didn't see Nicholas."

"You know what I think Ms. Rivera. I think you were the one who started the fights. You struck first maybe not all the time but I think you initiated the argument and fights. I think you got tired of your husband cheating on you so you decided to get revenge. You start a relationship with a not only rich but unstable woman who would clearly do anything for a thrill. I think when you saw it all crumbling you ran. And Nicholas escaped and found you but you were quick, you had a plan. That plan was Olivia Spencer. Didn't you called her to round up some of her friends to finish the job. You had them kill your husband and dump his body. I think you knew what would happen the minute you began the affair with Olivia and I think planned this whole thing." Prosecutor Rincon walked to the jury gallery speaking to them. "There are thousands of shelters for woman in your situation but you never once went to one or asked for help you took matters into your own hands. For years you resented Nicholas; for the baby, college, and your life not being how you wanted it. Isn't that right?" The attorney turned to Natalia with a stone cold glare.

"I can tell from the look in your eyes your never been stuck somewhere; a house you hate, in a marriage with no love or with someone who was never happy. Because if you did you would know what it feels like to feel worthless, to think that it's you; if you hadn't burned the chicken or if the eggs weren't too runny. That maybe just maybe if you were perfect, blond, younger; he wouldn't be so mean, he wouldn't yell or hit you. You don't know how it feels to be stuck in that situation for years, until there is nothing else; until you find yourself just waiting for the next blow wishing and hoping it puts you out of your misery. You don't know that feeling, you don't know that feeling because if you did you wouldn't judge me the way you do. You would know how it felt to be despised your whole marriage until this amazing, beautiful woman comes along and changes that."

Natalia cried wiping furiously at the tears. The jury spied Olivia's tense position before turning back to Natalia. The women leaned forward while the men sat back, each listening to her words feeling the emotion of the past torments play across the screen that was Natalia's features.

"You would know how it feels to think every morning why this woman wants you when she could have anyone but she wants you. You would wonder why she would even give you a second look. Or how your son loves her and how his whole life he's been rejected until she came along. You would know how every morning you wake up and say you won't go back because someone will get hurt. But every night you end up in her arms feeling human, loved. If you had ever been in my position you would know how it feels and you wouldn't look at me like that. You wouldn't." Natalia sat back with a defiant air telling the lawyer with her eyes she was finish answering her questions.

Doris sat back admiring the hole the other attorney was digging. She had to say no one had ever made a case for her quite like the other woman.

"No further questions"

Olivia watch as Natalia exited the stand having just exposed her soul for everyone to see. She was strong. Natalia deserved the truth about her past. She could never bring herself to say the words when it was just them.

"Well if there are no more witnesses how about we adjourn for today and start closing argument tomorrow."

"Your honor if you could give the state one more week."

"No Mrs. Rincon if your witness has not showed up yet then so be it."

"If I can have one more day."

"You have till tomorrow, then the defense will present."

Olivia jumped out of her chair. "I want to testify."

"No she doesn't." Doris stood up calmly trying to push Olivia back down.

"You'll get your chance Ms Spencer." Judge Allen banged his gavel exiting the bench. "We'll all reconvene tomorrow."

TRIAL 29

Mrs. Thrash Trail

Prosecutor Rincon composed herself knowing she had hurt her case with Rafe and Natalia's testimony. She had lost it for a second knowing the five sitting at the defense were getting away with murder but she had finally tracked down her start witness.

"Mrs. Thrash you lived next doors to Ms. Rivera and her children?"

"Yes I did. Once or twice I watched the children before the babysitter showed up."

"Did you notice anything strange about Ms. Rivera?"

"Not much, she seemed jumpy at church service. Sometimes she looked over her back a lot. Beside that nothing was wrong with the child." The 79 year old clutched her purse tighter looking at the men at the defense table.

"Do you remember ever seeing any of the defendants?"

Mrs. Thrash pulling her glasses onto her face. "Oh yes, I remember them." She let the glasses go letting them hang around her neck.

"Can you tell the court where you have seen them?"

"When I saw them there were six of them, another man was there. But I saw the women first and then the men showed up and drag another man out of the house. I watched them from my bedroom window?"

"Why didn't you call the police?"

"I was about to when the men showed up. They had a badge on the side of their truck. I thought they were the authorities."

"Is this the man you saw them drag out of the house?" Ms. Rincon handed the old woman a picture of Nicholas.

"Yes I'm sure. That's him. He was kicking and screaming like there was no tomorrow."

"And you are sure you saw all of them including Nicholas Autoro."

"Yes, positive."

"No further questions?" Ms. Rincon sat in her seat smiling at the old woman. Nothing was better than an elderly eye witness. People saw their Grandmother and just knew she wouldn't lie. She was a god fearing woman.

Doris stood from her chair debating on how to take the woman down. She was betting on her being racist and homophobic. The blind part was jus the icing on the cake. "Mrs. Thrash have you lived in Illinois you're whole life?"

"No, me and my husband lived in Mississippi for almost 40 years. We moved there about 15 years ago when he started to help the convent a few miles down the road. They run a few non-profit organizations; unwed mothers and such."

"15 years is a long time. Tell me, what are some of your neighbors' names?"

Mrs. Thrash hesitated.

"Do you know any of their names?"

"No. So many people move in and out of the houses." The old woman wave the Mayor off.

"Well, the Halls have lived in the house to the left of for almost 7 years now. Did you know that? As a matter of fact they go to church with you."

"What's your point?" The older woman's voice dropped dangerously low, no longer the voice of a sweet and innocent grandmother.

"My point…not much except you seemed to have taken an interest in Ms. Rivera and not in you other neighbors. Is it because they are a gay couple?"

The courtroom watched as the witness cringed. "What they do in the privacy in their own home is their business."

"What about you sons'?" Doris walked to the jurors gallery. "You haven't spoken to him in almost 30 years since he told you he was gay, is that correct?"

"I don't approve of the life style; no I haven't spoken to him."

"Well tell us your beliefs."

"Objection your honor! Mrs. Thrash's beliefs are not on trial."

"Goes directly towards the witness bias." Doris retorted.

"I'll allow it." The judge turned to the witness. "You may answer."

"I don't think those people should have children. They spread their sickness."

"So you don't think Ms. Rivera should be allowed to have children with Ms. Spencer?"

"No, especially a little girl, she'll be confused. How is she supposed to know right from wrong if her mother is in an unholy relationship with that woman? You people run around spreading diseases, having sex out of wed lock and think you're going to heaven, Hmph." The old woman held her chin high looking down on the courtroom.

"Fair enough. Mrs. Thrash I saw earlier you had to put your glasses on to see us at the table." Doris walked back to the defense table. "Can you see me?"

"Yes, I'm not blind." Mrs. Thrash angry replied.

"Without your glasses, how many fingers am I holding up?" Doris picked up a pen holding it up in her fist.

Mrs. Thrash squinted trying to clear her sight enough.

"What color is Ms. Spencer's shirt?"

"Black."

"Forest green. Isn't it true you hate to wear your glasses?"

"They make my nose itch but I wear them when I need to."

"Were you wearing them when you allegedly saw Nicholas Autoro being dragged out?"

"Yes, I always keep them around my neck just in case." Mrs. Thrash patted her glasses that lay on her chest.

"So tell me Mrs. Thrash with you're glasses describe Officer Chadwick to the court."

Chadwick stood tall, his whole 5'4 height at the doors of the court room.

The old woman slowly put her glasses back on her face. "Well, he is short. Black hair…green shirt…black pants…"

"No ma'am. Officer Chadwick is wearing navy blue with light brown hair." Doris walked back to the front of the room. "Tell me Mrs. Thrash. How many people are sitting on the right side of the court room?"

"Objection!"

"Overruled, answer the question." The judge leaned over his bench watching the elderly woman squint.

"I don't know."

"Isn't it true you don't know who you seen entering Ms. Rivera's house that day because of your sight. You think you saw four men but it could have been two?"

"No! I know I saw four men." Mrs. Thrash pointed at the three brothers. "Them."

"The SUV you saw could have been green or blue?"

"No it was black." Mrs. Thrash countered."I might have not have had my glasses on-"

"You just said you were wearing them, which one is it?"

"I had them on I know I did but even if I didn't I saw all of you leaving that place with her husband kicking and screaming."

"Are you a hundred percent positive you saw a badge on the side of the SUV you saw?"

"Yes, one hundred percent." Mrs. Trash nodded her head, that she was confident she saw.

"Are you sure it was this symbol." Doris walked back to the table picking up the emblem of the Wilkins construction symbol. It was a diamond with crane lifting a hammer. She handed the picture to the witness.

"Oh no. It was a badge, I'm sure." Mrs. Trash handed the picture back, once again the woman replaced her glasses still refuse to concede.

"Let it be noted that only one black SVU is registered to my three co-defends with this emblem on the right side, not a badge."

"I know I saw all of you there with that poor man being dragged to his death." Mrs. Trash looked at the jury as she spoke.

"No further questions."

TRAIL PART 30

OLIVIA

"Ms. Spencer do you remember the test the courts had you and your co defendants take?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what those test were for?"

"To measure our I.Q., just to make sure none of us plead mental capacity as a defense."

"Correct." Prosecutor Rincon picked up a two pieces of paper off her table handing one to the jury and the other to Olivia. "Tell me what that says."

Olivia read the finding on the paper. "They're our I.Q. scores."

"Tell me what they say."

"Johnny has an I.Q. of 115; Jessie, 106; John, 125; Doris, 122; me, 160. So what, we score well on a bias test."

Doris's jaw dropped at the results. She hadn't bothered to read them knowing they were all more that of sound mind. What she hadn't expected was for a mute to beat her.

"160! That more than just good, you are highly above average. You're in the genius range. In fact your score was lower than in past years, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"Tell the court your highest score." The prosecutor walked to the jurors as they wowed of the score.

"175."

"I had the jury take the same test and the highest score was 115."

Olivia had to bit her tongue form retorting. So they're dumber than us.

"As a matter of fact you graduated school early and went to college early."

"Yes I entered college at the age of 17."

"And how old were you when you were raped?"

"19." Olivia stilled herself for the questions that were coming.

"And you had been drinking?"

"Yes."

"A little young weren't you?"

"I was old enough. The National Minimum Drinking Age Act with passed by then but it was mostly aimed at purchase and possession in public."

"What about your upbringing? You were taken in by the system at 13. Father died of a heart attack induced by alcohol consumption and your mother disappeared."

"Yes."

"It must have been hard living in an abusive family."

"I was never abused. Yes my mother was distant and very religious but my father never struck me or my brother. He didn't yell or curse he just drank."

"And that became a problem for you later on did it not?"

"Yes I did over do it sometimes." Olivia folded her hands in her lap.

"And your brother. You supposedly took care of him, but your mother returned and took him away because you were strung out on drugs."

"She did come back. When turned 18 and legally tried to adopt him she found out and came back. From then until he was18 he jumped back and forth between us when he could find her."

"Were you addicted to drugs and alcohol then?"

"No, I don't believe I was. I was clean most of my junior year. I did use recreational drug my senior year but it wasn't until after graduation."

"What happened that you became an addict after graduation?"

"Objection!"

"Sustained. Counselor, get to the point."

"Sorry your honor." The prosecutor stepped back into the middle of the floor. "After you were sexually assaulted you took it upon your self to learn how to defend your self. You stated that much at Nicholas's trial. Tell the court what you did."

"I took multiple self defense classes. I study martial arts of any type I could find classes."

"You also learned how to shot a gun."

"Yes."

"So by the age of 21 you were a millionaire. By the age of 25 you had multiple prosperous businesses and investments. All this with an I.Q. of 160 and defense skills. Suffice to say you had it made. You never were convicted of felony drug charges because your best friend, Mayor Wolfe, then assistant attorney, worked for the state. You never ran out of drugs because your other best friends was a drug dealer, but you needed something else; something that would put the icing on the cake for you. And that something was Ms. Rivera. But you couldn't have her. So you seduced Ms. Rivera into falling in love with you and when her husband found out you shot him!"

"Objection!" Doris could see Olivia was quickly losing her calm.

Olivia answered the question anyway. "It was in self defense. He pointed the gun at me and I defended my self. The gun went off striking both of us."

"A person like couldn't let that go, could you?"

"He couldn't let it go. He escaped from police custody and came after me."

The prosecutor stepped quickly towards Olivia. "And the next time you had Ms. Rivera shoot him?"

"Like the first time he pointed the gun at us first. We acted in self defense."

"So when Ms. Rivera left, how did that make you feel? Here you are with a sling around your neck and she runs off not even bothering to call to make sure you were okay. Did you go looking for her?"

"Yes."

"You even hired a private detective."

"Through a mutual friend I got in touch with a private detective."

"Ah, yes. Mr. Bailey Dales, who is currently serving 6 months, jail time for a gun violation." The prosecutor walked back and forth from Olivia to the jury gallery. "You are a drug addict."

"I'm clean." Olivia kept her cool.

"Were you clean the day you killed Mr. Autoro?"

"I didn't kill him and yes I was clean the day he died."

"You say you didn't kill Mr. Autoro, who so you think did it?"

"I took the news report at face value. They said someone from a gang remembered him as a police officer. He had a temper."

"So do you."

"My mind had been altered by drugs. I normally don't act in such a way." Olivia sat back in her chair trying not to look too nonchalant.

"The drugs altered your mind. We have heard some of your former employee testify to your temper of throwing things and threatening people. Did you do that often?"

"I don't think so. I honestly thought I was a happy person while I was high. Like I said the drugs altered my mind. I have apologized to my current and former employees about my behavior."

Mrs. Rincon walked a few steps nodding her head at Olivia's statement. "Tell the court did you know Ms. Rivera and Mr. Autoro were still having sexual relation?"

"No I didn't."

"So a smart woman like you never suspected a married couple were having martial relations?"
"Natalia said she wasn't."

"But she lied to you. Like she did her husband?" The prosecutor rattled off the question fast.

Olivia knew every tactic in the book. She knew the woman was trying to catch her in a lie by asking question fast hoping she would answer fast not thinking. Olivia was smarter that to get in a speed conversation. She slowly answered the question. "It was once."

"How do you know?"

"She said so."

"And you believed her?"

"Yes."

"You believed everything she said?"

"She had given me no reason not to."

"So if she told you Nicholas was abusing her you would have believed her?"

"Yes but she-"

The attorney interrupted the answer. "You wanted her to yourself so bad that if she said her life was in danger you would have believed her? No only would you have believed her you would have done anything to protect her? Even if it meant killing her husband."

"If it meant Natalia and her children would be happy I would kill him every day of his sorry life even if it meant me spending the rest of my life behind bars. He was a pathetic excuse for a man and even worse a person." Olivia made no attempt to keep the disdain out of her voice. She never would. What Nicholas did was unforgiveable. She would soon be back in a room with her attacker then let Nicholas anywhere near her family. "But I did not kill him."

TRAIL PART 31

"I see here the defense has on more witness." Judge Allen glanced over the thick black rims of his glasses.

"Objection your honor the prosecution was not aware of another witness."

"Yes I was just made are of the witness myself yesterday, but the court will allow it. Special circumstance had been made for this witness." The judge scribbled the answer to his daily crossword. "Defense."

"The defense calls Frank Cooper."

The courtroom went deadly silent as Frank Cooper was escorted in the courtroom by two Federal Officers in handcuffs and shackles.

Not one mouth stayed closed as they witnessed the former golden boy being led to the witness stand.

After the initial shock of seeing her former husband Blake looked away from the scene refusing to meet his still puppy eyes.

After being handcuffed to the stand and sworn in, Frank sat stooped under the judgmental gaze of the courtroom attendees.

Doris stood tall triumphant from the table. She took a quick glance at Blake before approaching the witness stand. "Mr. Copper tell the court your relationship to everyone you feel involved in these court proceedings."

Frank sat upright glaring at the over confident woman. He hated the smile she was wearing the one she wore every time he saw her. It was the one that said 'I'm fucking your wife and there is nothing you can do about it.'

"Nicholas Autoro was my partner on the force for the summer of 2009. Natalia Rivera was his wife then. Olivia Spencer is friends with you and my wife Blake Mahler. She also was having an affair with Natalia. Those three," Frank pointed at the brothers. "The Walton brothers, I arrested them the winter of 2008. You were the prosecuting attorney…and you were sleeping with my wife."

Doris smiled despite trying not to break her professional demeanor. "Yes the court has already been made aware of that fact." Doris took a step back staring Frank down. "Tell the court why you are in the custody of the Federal government."

"You had me convicted of conspiracy, adding and abiding a fugitive, kidnapping and obstruction of justice." Frank spat out.

"Mr. Cooper I assure you I had nothing to do with your convictions." Doris held her hand up. "What is more important is why."
"I helped Nicholas escape custody."

"Not just once, was it?"

"It was twice."

"Elaborate for the sake of clarification."

Frank gritted his teeth. "When Nicholas was first arrested at the hospital, I let him leave for an hour of two to get things ready for the upcoming trail. He was supposed to be in my custody but I let him leave without permission from the higher ups."

"And the second time?" Doris stepped back to the defense table waiting for Frank to answer.

Frank too a deep breathe through his nose. "I supplied Nicholas with a car and a gun when he escaped from prison. But I didn't know what he was planning." Frank quickly said the last part to cover himself.

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"At the hospital he said he was going to talk to his lawyer because his father was refusing to help him."

"And later did you find out what he was really doing?"

"He was plotting to kidnap his son, Raphael Rivera." Frank sat back as far as his handcuffs would allow.

"Mr. Copper you were present at your partner's trail?"

"No, I was under investigation and you sent your thugs after me. All because you couldn't have my slut of a wife."

"Objection." Doris said refusing to acknowledge the ex-cop's angry glare.

"The jury will disregard the witness's last statement." Judge Allen addressed Frank. "You will refrain from spreading unfounded allegations.

Olivia saw the change in Doris frame. Frank had obviously struck a cord that had him teetering on the edge of a hurting. She wanted to say something before Doris lost her composure, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. If it were her she would react the same way to protect Blake.

Blake sat straight in her seat. Her fingers nervously played with the hem of her shirt. She wasn't heartless, cheating of Frank was not something she was proud of in her life. He had deserved better. He also begged her to stay when she told him of her past with Doris and her inability to say no to the woman. Still she felt bad for the way Frank's life had turned out.

"So you were on the run. Isn't it true you struck your wife, Blake Mahler, minutes before the shooting at the Riviera household on Spaulding Street?" Doris walked up to the stand turning her back to the jury.

"Yes, but she made" Frank sat up pointing at Blake

"She made you, is that what you were going to say?" Doris's voice dropped an octave as fair warning to the man.

"No."

"What did I tell you that night at the hospital?" Doris said loud enough for the whole court to hear.

It was clear to Frank she had forgotten the rest of the people in the room. They were in their own conversation. He might have been a harden criminal but the woman standing in front of him still scared him. He worked with her for year, he new all of the underhanded things she was involved in and the things she could have done for was something he didn't exactly want to be on the receiving end of. Her eye had turned an unnatural dark shade of brown.

"You said that if I ever touched her again you would kill me."

The room exploded in gasp and murmurs.

"Objection your honor! The defense is intimidating the witness!" The prosecutor jumped up from her seat at the words.

Doris leaned over the stand as the commotion continued. "Did you think I was joking with you Frank? I stay true to my promises."

Frank leaned back as Judge Allen banged his gavel. "Order!" The court room fell silent again.

"Withdrawn." Doris walked back the defense table raising her hand in apologizes. "Mr. Cooper after you left town where did you go?"

"Nicholas told me that if I monitored Natalia his father would get me a job in the Chicago police department. After I heard about the investigation I called him and he set me up with a job in Nebraska at a county jail."

"So you were the one who called Nicholas Autoro Jr. to come home to catch Olivia Spencer in his house?"

"Yes. I was just helping out a friend."

"A friend. I see…Tell the court about your involvement with Nicholas's escape from prison."

Frank sighed looking at the two officers who had accompanied him. The looked bored and angry at the same time. He knew they didn't like him and were waiting for the chance to hurt him. He looked at Blake who still had yet to meet his eyes. As always Olivia sat too confident in her own little self centered space. "He called me a couple times saying Natalia wouldn't speak to him or bring his son to visit. I felt bad for him. He asked me to bring his a car and a gun. I left him car and gun on the side of the highway about a mile from the prison."

"Did he say anything else?"

"He said something about stopping to see his father some about money or something. I thought he was trying to get some to skip town."

"So Nicholas never said he was going to see his wife and children? Did he indicate he knew where they were hiding?"

"If he knew he never said anything to me. I really didn't ask because I didn't care. I told him this was the last thing I was going to do for him." Frank said as he watched a smug smile appear across the attorney's lips.

"You said you were his friend earlier. He had a funny way of treating his friends wouldn't you say? He ruined your life."

Frank sat silently; everyone could see his shoulders tense even more.

"Before Nicholas came to town you had it all; a wife, a house, car and a great career in law enforcement but you lost it all in one summer. How was he your friend? How did you let something like this happen?" Doris silently mocked Frank as she always had in their competition vying for Blake's attention.

"You did it. You made me lose my job, wife-"

Doris interrupted his rant that she had heard a million time before. "Your freedom? You did that Frank. You and Nicholas. You were so worried about being a friend to Nicholas you lost sight of what was happening."

Frank sat his shoulder back knowing he had been wrong. "I was on the run for something I didn't do. I didn't know he was planning to kidnap anyone."

"And that made you angry that he was still trying to play on your loyalty."

"I told him that I was through with helping him."

"Isn't it true you planned on turning yourself in to the authorities?"

Franks' voice rose as he tried to explain his actions. "I had to. I was tired of running. I had a job that barely paid my bills for the small trailer I was cooped in. I couldn't even get anything in my name."

"But you helped him anyway."

"Yes."

"What kind of gun did you give Nicholas?" Once again Doris walked to the middle of the courtroom blocking Frank's view of his ex-wife. She never liked Frank. She liked it even less that he had married Blake. The thought of him with her made her skin crawl and he knew it. He never let an opportunity to rub it in her face. They made each other's life hell when ever they could.

"It was a semi-automatic .45"

"Are you aware that Nicholas Autoro was killed with a semi-automatic .45."

Franks jaw dropped. He knew that had had their differences but to pin a murder on his was out of line. "Now wait a minute. I left the gun in the car on the side of the road. I didn't even see Nicholas when he escaped."

"Are you sure you didn't stay to confront Nicholas?"

"NO! I left it where I said."

"You waited and told Nicholas you were going to turn yourself in and rat him out."

"No, I left it."

"A struggle ensued."

"No!"

"You were fed up with the way you were being treated and you took your revenge and killed Nicholas Autoro Jr."

"No I did no such thing."

"Then you dumped his body in a crime ridden neighborhood to make it seem like a retaliation killing of a gang."

"No. I. Wouldn't. Kill. Anyone." Frank jaw clenched as he stared Doris down.

"You couldn't help it. He made you lose everything."

"NO!" Frank stood up yanking on his chains. The room fell silent as the people sank back and the officers stepped forward.

"Admit it Mr. Cooper that man ruined your life and you couldn't live with that!" Doris shouted at Blake's ex-husband.

"No you made me lose it!" Frank began to shout back. "If it weren't for you and Olivia fucking everyone's wife this would have never happened. You just couldn't keep your hand off of her. You don't even love her. I did." Frank froth at the mouth as he yelled at Doris who stood unaffected by the comments. "You don't love her, I did. We could have been something. We could have had children, but she was so caught up on you she spent her life waiting for you and for what for you to fuck all of your sectaries. Nicholas loved Natalia but Olivia could help but ruin that. That's all you two do is ruin people's lives. You don't care about anyone but yourself. Everyone knows what you do everyday but no one says anything. Well I'm not under you anymore, you can't push me around. Blake loved me not you. Not you."

"Order in the court." Judge Allen banged his gavel trying to calm Frank from his hysteria before the whole courtroom broke out in chatter of the deranged man. "Mr. Cooper!"

Frank sat back down as his escort made another move towards him. "Blake why can't you see she'll never love you the way I do. I did everything I could for you; all she ever did was stop by looking for someone to have sex with. Olivia is the same as you." Frank directed his attention to Olivia. "You just can't stand to lose, you don't love her, you don't know what love is. All you do is destroy things and move to the next. Both of you. You just couldn't let us be."

"Mr. Cooper! You will refrain from outburst before I hold you in contempt."

Frank sat back in his seat staring at the handcuffs that held his wrist. That was what his life had been reduced to; an hour out of his one man cell in handcuffs.

"No further questions your honor. The defense rest."

"Mrs. Rincon." Judge Allen said still staring at the broken man on the witness stand.

"Mr. Cooper did you kill Nicholas Autoro?"

"No, I didn't kill him."

"The prosecution rest."

"Closing statement tomorrow. Mr. Cooper you are dismissed."

Waiting for the verdict

I think the waiting is one of the hardest parts about this whole thing. Waiting to see if your life is virtually over, waiting for 12 people who don't really know me to decide my fate. I hate waiting, always have, and always will.

Its cold out here on the balcony but I can't stay in the room any longer. The cars buzz by like little ants. I wonder so they care if I go away or not, maybe if it just another one of those thing you see in the newspaper.

"Hey Olivia."

I try hard not to snap at Johnny, he means well but I want to be alone. "What?"

He comes and sits in one of the chairs. "I was just wondering. I mean I didn't want to say anything in the court room and all but…" He cocks his he to the side just like Rafe does, like their listening to the sky. "Okay it's like this, you're rich and everyone knows you. From what I heard you were like a player, right? And I'm just like if you got broads from this city and every town around…you could have sex with anyone…why would you throw it away. You know and get married." He scratches his head like his figuring out a mystery or a puzzle.

I just shrug my shoulders. Lately I've been wondering the same thing.

"Come on there has to be a reason you're giving it all up."

"I love her."

"And I love that girl from the news station but you don't see me proposing, especially if I could get something different every night."

I swear to god I'm about to break his fucking neck.

"Johnny, leave her alone." Jessie appears at the door, to my relief. "Just because you don't understand the concept of love."

"Sounds like the concept of being weak."

"What?" I almost choke on my own tongue. "Why the hell would you say that?'

"I'm just saying. To marry is to let someone else have control over part of you're life."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes is does. Face it Olivia, you put a ring on that finger, no offense but that's how women are. Bam, next day they become drill sergeants. Always complaining about your friends, drinking, work or sex."

No, that's not us, Natalia's not like that; she knows when to back off, when I need space, or when I just need to be near her. She won't change.

"Next thing you know you got kids running around and only one of them are yours. For god sakes Olivia you're already behind the curve." Johnny voice gets louder but the sound actually shrinks in my ear.

"Shut up Johnny!" Jessie slaps the back of his head pushing him back inside.

"I'm not weak." I say to myself more than anything, because I'm not. I'm not weak and I haven't been for a long time. I just need to hear it with my own two ears.

"Nah, he doesn't know what he's talking about." Jessie sits down staring out into the gray sky line.

I lean forward, closer to the rail. The closer it gets to the wedding the more I want to jump over, but I can't turn back now. Too many people are counting on me.

"You know I wasn't going to say anything but you did seem pretty distracted on the stand when she said give it all away."

"Yea she caught me off guard. It just seemed to make everything that much, I don't know, real."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I was engaged once."

"What happened?"

"I screwed it up, left her at the altar."

The look on his face makes my heart ache for him. A haunted look flashes across his face, he fights back the tears that gather in the corner of his dark eyes.

"You should have seen her. She was gorgeous, hazel eyes and long brown hair, a goddess in her own right." I listen to him describe her. "To this day I don't understand how an angel like that would fall for a person like me."

"I know what you mean. I wake up everyday thinking of the same thing." I wonder if he is reading my mind and making up a story to make me feel better.

"Yea. I knew I was going to find a way to fuck it up and I did. I let my insecurities get the best of me. I was so afraid that one day she would wake up and see her mistake, see me for what I was. I couldn't take that. I never wanted to see the pity or the loathing in her eyes directed at me, because she had a big heart. So I left her before she saw." Jessie wipes a stray tear. "I hurt her before she did it to me. And really I thought it was for the best before I dragged her down too, with the drugs and every thing."

The words he speak pains me, it too far close to the way I feel. I could very well bring Natalia down to what if she does realize one day who I am. But I don't think I could leave her or the kids.

Maybe it would be better if I left instead of bringing them down; it would be the unselfish thing to do. "Did it hurt less?"

"Hell no. I almost drank myself to death. I can still see the pain in her eyes when I saw her. I don't think I'll ever forget it." He takes a swig of his beer kicking his feet up into another chair.

"So damned if I do and damned if I don't."

"I didn't say that. I'm saying if you don't love her than leave; if you do, don't let that get away. Once in a blue moon they really love us and they see something we don't. Sometime it's okay to be stingy."

"Its just I know one day I am going to fuck up and bring her down and I am going to hate myself and she's going t hate me…I just love these things about her." I stand up from my chair trying to catch a single thought. "You know she believes in God, Jesus and all that good stuff?"

"Right."

"I do and I don't like that about her. She's so trusting. She thinks everyone has some good in them they just need god to bring it out. I laugh at some of the things she says." I sit back down suddenly tired of thinking all together. "She actually takes notes on what Ray says then passes it on to the women in her shelter. But I love that about her. She's concerned about other people welfare. She believes that whole love thy neighbor and heaven."

"Well she has to, to have been in the marriage she was she needed it to stay strong."

"But that's the thing. I want her to lean on me for strength but I know I'm not the strongest person and what if I mess up and kill that part of her."

"If he didn't-"

I cut him off. "How many times does a person have to be knocked down before they know not to get up?" I know she needed that in her life with Nicholas. "I worry sometimes that she thinks this was God's plan and if I fuck it up then what does she have. She'll be like me."

"A drug addict."

"An asshole that is so narcissistic that she believes god is out to get her."

"That's what you believe?"

"Most of the time." I say staring down at my feet. That asshole has been after me my whole life and I know for a fact he's put Natalia here to mess with me. At any moment he'll put the rug out and I'll be left back at square one.

"That interesting."

"Tell me you don't believe in that other crap." I turn to look at him in thought.

"No I don't' believe in the bible and all that but I do believe that there are things, spirits or gods out there that started all of this and there some where watching us." He cracks a smile at me. "Anyway if he's out to get you, you just have to be on your guard. Be prepared for every little thing that could happen. You know what Natalia wants in a wife so do everything you can to be that person and if it doesn't work then you tried."

I smack my hand over my forehead. "Holy smokes batman! I never thought about that!"

"Fine, be sarcastic."

"You heard Rafe on the stand, Natalia is five times worse. Everything she hears about my past she brushes it off like she doesn't believe me. They put me on this pedestal-"

"Oh cry me a river Spencer." He interrupts my rant. "You put her on one too."

"Me?" I point at myself. I don't put Natalia on a pedestal. I she her for who she is. She a human, I expect her to make mistakes.

"Do you even hear yourself when you talk about her! Its Natalia can do this or she can do that. Someone listening to you might think you worship the woman."

"So I think highly of her."

"And she thinks highly of you." He stands up looking down at me. "You and I are too much alike. So I know what you are thinking." He lays his hand on my shoulder. "Let me give you this advice, life is a gamble. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose, but what ever happens you have to keep rolling the dice, when the game is over the game is over."

"Hey, they're ready for us." Johnny sticks his head out of the door. "Lets get moving."

NATALIA

I sit in front of the mirror applying the last of my make up. I keep telling myself she will be here. There will not be another delay or a mistrial. I have prayed to every deity I have ever heard of to bring her home. I don't know what I'll do if she is convicted. I should have gone to the trail just to make sure, but no I had to listen to Olivia and my mother. It's not like they can start without us. I should have gone even for a few minutes.

Knock Knock

"Mami, I'm fine. Can you just give me a minute?" I yell to the door. In the last 10 minutes she has been in and out of the room like it's a revolving door.

"I thought I would check on you but if you insist."

I snap my head up so fast I feel a tingle in my neck. I stare at a pair of beautiful green eyes in the mirror. Hesitantly I turn around to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. "Olivia?"

Don't cry, don't cry, I just put on my make up.

"No, no no, don't cry." She closes the door behind her hurrying over to me. I stand to touching her face just o make sure she is real.

"I told you I would make it, can't be late to my own wedding." She smiles that lovely smile I can't resist.

I try to keep the tears at bay but they come anyway, just at the thought of what we could have lost. A few minutes of clinging to my wife I stand back looking at her. I really take a good look at her and god she is beautiful.

I don't think it's settled in yet. She's home. We can go home. We're getting married today. Oh God.

"Natalia breathe for me, you're going to pass out."

I push the air out of my chest, feeling the burning of my lungs. "No I need you. I need to feel you."

"Okay, babe, okay."

It might be the breathless way she said it or the way she kisses me, it pacifies the boiling anxiousness. A swift calm settles over my mind as Olivia unzips the back of my dress. Her fingers are so nibble as the she slides the spaghetti straps down my shoulder, her eyes never leaving mine. Her gaze could burn a hole through my soul.

The dress and slip falls in a heap at my feet. It'll never fell, the way Olivia's eyes grow caressing my body with just one look. She's seen my body thousands of time and yet her appraisal is like the first time, widening in appreciation.

"You are so beautiful." Her lips brush against my ear, causing us both to tremble with anticipation.

I lace my fingers behind her neck pulling her into a lip bruising kiss. I don't want to talk anymore. Word won't be enough to convey how I feel or how much I want her.

Her hands grip my hips, pulling them to hip and slipping her thigh between them. The smooth fabric of her pants offers no relief to my plight.

She pushes me back against the door, rattling the aging wood. Forcibly she takes control of our heated kiss; all the while I ride her tight trying to strike a spark.

I pull back needing some much needed air. No matter how deep a breath I take, I still feel dizzy from arousal.

Olivia moves down my jaw line sucking on my neck.

I tangle my hand in her hair intending on pulling her away, until I feel it. Her hand snakes between my legs wasting no time her finger hooks in the barrier between her and my sex.

My mind automatically goes blank. I forget what I was going to do, instead I pull Olivia tighter hoping she won't tease me.

As if she were reading my mind, one finger slides into my already willing body.

Testing the waters, she slowly pulls out before diving back in with more force.

I hang on to her for dear life as she adds another finger, then another.

Her tongue slide over the burning places on my neck.

I don't have time to think about why my neck is hurting, I feel my stomach began to tightening in rhythm.

Her three fingers curl inside me with each upward motion. The swipe of her thumb makes my body jump uncontrollably for more contact. Even without it my knees start to give way.

Olivia presses me further into the door, pumping into me with such a force I feel the door began to shake behind us.

She kisses back to my lips, just as her thumb sweeps again.

She swallows my cries as my body clamp around her slowed fingers. My head swims as the blood rushes. My eyes roll back as the sensation of my release capture me in a web of ecstasy.

As she pulls back leaving her finger inside of me, she smiles at me with the sexiest green eyes. "Damn, I'm good."

If I weren't still reeling from her handiwork I might could think of a good comeback. But the only thing I can do is nod in agreement. I take a second to catch my breath. "If my mom catches you in here, she is going to freak."

Olivia laughs sending another shiver of arousal through my already melted bones. "I haven't heard that since I was sixteen."

Slowly she removes her finger, intentionally grazing the tip of my sensitive nerves. Knowing she is just looking for encouragement. I try to keep my hips completely still but it's to no avail as a soft whimper leaves my throat.

"Good try." She whispers in my ear before sliding down to her knees.

I usually fight her. We pretend to disagree, with her promising it will be quick. I'll weakly protest knowing the outcome will be the same.

Olivia settles my leg over her shoulder hooking her finger around the material of my panties.

Her uneven pants against my saturate center is a cool relief against the overheat area.

I want this so bad I can't even be still for a second. I buck my hips in front of her.

She doesn't waste time stroking my length.

I try to pull her closer, but she resist. Her hands push my hips back to the door away from her ever so talented tongue. It's always done at her pace, which I except, but I need to feel her now.

"Olivia, please!" As I speak her name, she plunges her tongue into me.

We start the age old dance that was perfected our first night together. Her tongue bathes my sex as I move back and forth search for release.

I squeeze my eyes close so tightly I start to see dots when I open them, or it could just be from Olivia's skilled tongue.

She replaces her tongue with her fingers wrapping her tongue around my fully engorged bundle of nerves.

As much as I want this to last Olivia has always been too much for me to handle. I lose control arching against the door, pulling her deeper between my legs.

Olivia stills her fingers letting me ride at my own pace which she sucks on my clit prolonging the daze of my orgasm.

Finally I pull her away from me oversensitive bundle.

Losing the fight to stand upright I slide down the door and just like since we meet Olivia catches me pulling me into her lap. "Look at your dress."

It's crumpled under our tangled feet.

"Oh no, Blake is going to kill me."

"It'll be fine; everyone came to see me anyway."

"Is that right?" Having gained my strength back we wrestle until I have her on her back straddling her legs so she can't move away.

"Don't start something you can't finish."

Time! I look at the big clock hanging on the wall. Sure enough there is only 30 minutes before the scheduled start. I have to do my hair, redo my make-up, oh god my dress.

Olivia sits up wrapping her arms around my waist. "Not to worry princess, they can't start without us."

There is something to be said about Olivia's eyes, which I tell every one about. They speak louder than she can scream and that's pretty loud. Just the way she looks at me with so much love makes me wonder what I did to deserve a woman like her. What is it that she sees in me? I don't know and for the most part I don't care, I know I just want this to last forever. Perfection.

"I don't know what I did to deserve a perfect woman like you." I say running my finger through her long curly hair.

Olivia sighs shaking my hand loose.

"You are."

"No I'm not. I wish you would stop saying that." She leans back propping herself on her hands.

"Olivia you are the most resilient person I know. You're thoughtful, kind most of the time and caring, you're great with Rafe and Emma, you're my perfect woman that makes me breakfast in the morning and listens to my day at night. You're smart, sexy, and strong. And you have a great ass." I lean in kissing her unresponsive lips. "Now we have a wedding to attend."

I stand up picking up my dress and slip. Olivia still hasn't moved.

"Olivia?"

"What?" Her voice is hard with misguided anger as she slowly gets off the floor. She dust the invisible lent off her pant leg.

"You're upset because I called you perfect."

"Look I don't want to argue with you." She step away from me.

"There's nothing to argue about." I say dismissively.

Her eyes filling with disbelief. "No?"

"No." I simply reply.

She throws her hands up. "You must have the shortest memory in the history of human life."

"It upsets you that I'm not holding your past against you?"

"Did you forget about the 4th, about what I told you just a couple of days ago?'

"What does that have to do with us?"

"Forget it." She waves the question off.

"No. I'm not trying to pressure you to be someone you aren't. I love who you are." I go to her enveloping her in my arms. "I'm not a child, I don't think you have super powers or can actually dodge bullets and save the world. But you saved me. I feel things for you I thought were only true in fairy tales. I know you're not perfect in everyone's eyes, but you are in these eyes." I catch her downward cast eyes. "You are heaven sent and I love you no matter what happens. That's all that matters."

She smirks a little as her eye shine with tears.

"You are an extraordinary woman. I can't wait for tomorrow so I can show you just how perfect you are." I kiss her, this times she responds pushing her tongue into my mouth.

"Baby." I pull back putting some much needed space between us. "I'll see you at the altar." I push her towards the door. "I love you."

"I love you too." She steals one more kiss before ducking out of the door.

I lean back against the door my body still humming. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh god my neck. Right in the crook of my neck is a very very visible hickey.

OLIVIA

Why, why, why? Why does she always say things like that? How am I supposed to live up to those ideals. I know what it is, she has never seen me high and depressed and drunk. I bet if she did she wouldn't put me on such a high pedestal.

No sir-ry, she probably would have turn and high tailed as soon as possible, instead of marring me. If she knew me a few months before we met she wouldn't think those things.

Too much is going my way today; first my talk with Johnny, the trail and Natalia. Where's the other shoe?

"Mom!" Rafe yells to my right. Little he used to he jumps off the third step. I barely catch him before he hits the ground. I spin him around before settling him on his feet. Pretty soon I won't be able to pick him up at all.

"I knew you would make it!' Apparently his equilibrium is better than mine. I'm still a little dizzy while he runs circles around me, not helping the situation. "Grandma said you weren't here yet and that I should check on Ma to make sure she is still breathing."

"Well," I put a hand on his shoulder stopping him form running. "You should go do what she told you. I'll see you soon."

"Okay." He jumps at me hugging my waist. "I knew you would come." He runs down the hall.

I continue down the hall, I need to get outside, I need some air. This place is smoothing me. I quicken my step feeling like I might faint at any moment.

The slam into the door, the burst of cool air feel like cold water on a hot summer day.

Up until now I've been nothing but excited, ready to jump into this head first. No I'm not so sure. There more to this than my happiness or even Natalia's.

I was ready to spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy.

The rest of my life could be tomorrow or 60 years. Can I stay clean that long? Can I even be faithful that long? Can I keep my family happy for the rest of my life?

I sit down on the stone steps. I don't know what I did for him to play with my life the way his is. Fucking God and his twisted sense of humor.

Dangling the good life in front of me knowing I can't possibly life up to the expectation.

I just need a sign to tell me I am doing the right thing because I can't really trust my heart in these types of situations.

"You have gotten some nerves." One of the last people I want to see stands a few feet away.

I hang my head down. "Look Mr. Rivera, I think we got off to a bad start." I look up at him. I can be the bigger person for Natalia's sake. "I am sorry I threatened you in your own home. With you testifying trying to send me to prison. Maybe we should make a fresh start."

He looks up to the sky, apparently talking to God and not me. "No puedo creer que este dique tiene la audacia de pensar que me gustaría nada que ver con su vida sórdida."

"No se trata sólo de mí." I take a second to make sure I have his attention. "It's about your daughter and your grandchildren. They deserve the best from both of us."

He glares at me resting one foot on the last step leaning forward. "What they deserve is to be happy in a healthy, normal family. You can't give that to them."

"I'm doing my best."

"You're best is not good enough. Let's face the truth. You can't be the person Natalia needs. It may not be your fault. But I do know and you also know you're not good enough for her."

"All of a sudden you care about whether she is happy or not." I know it's a low blow, he started.

He blinks hesitating before answering. "I've always cared, I would rather her be unhappy here on earth than to burn in hell for the rest of her life."

"Fairytales." I shake my head.

"That's she believes in."

"No she doesn't." At least not that part, at least not as much as before.

"Man shall not lie with-"

I interrupt him. "Last time I checked we were woman."

"You are going to ruin her life. She was already struggling with this unnatural feeling now you've made her into a liar and a murderer."

"She didn't have anything to do with that and 12 jurors said neither did I."I lean back supporting my elbows on the step behind me. I smile smugly at him.

"You say you want her to be happy."

"I do."

"Prove it." He stands straight up. "You did what she needed at the time and if you want money I'll raise it. But you can't have her. Let her go so she can find a man to love her and her children. You'll only hurt her more."

For a second I can see the sincerity in her eyes, but it only masks the hate he has for me.

"I am going to make her happy. I told her I would and I have. I also plan to spend the rest of my life doing so." I stand up off my perch. "If you'll excuse me I have the rest of my life to get to."

"Can't you see?" He steps closer, raising his voice in desperation.

"See what?"

"You swoop in with your money, fancy cars and promises. How is anyone supposed to compete with that? For god sakes you killed a man!" He yells taking one step at a time. "Nicholas had his flaws but he wasn't a dog you can just take out back. She hasn't seen enough of the world to settle down with someone like you."

"I'm not forcing her to do anything."

"You don't get it!" He steps on equal level with me yelling in my face.

"No you don't get it. She loves me!"

"She doesn't! Somehow you've gotten into Rafe's head. How is she supposed to react?"

"Forget it Ricardo." I throw my hands up spinning away from him.

He grabs my bicep hard enough to almost make me cry out in pain. "They are my family!"

"Hey!" I look over his shoulder to see a tall black woman running up the stairs. She looks familiar but I can't place her with Ricardo in my head.

Ricardo lets go of my arm taking a step back.

"Is there a problem?" She steps between us facing Ricardo. "Funny I didn't see your name on the guest list." She licks her thumb before flipping through an imaginary book, staring at Ricardo.

"I was just leaving." Ricardo back peddles down the steps.

"Damn right you were." We watch him disappear down the street. She turns to me watching me rub my arm. "You should really think about having security; too many assholes with grudges against you."

"Yea."

I hold my hand out for to shakes hers. She takes my hand squeezing it way too tight. "I would hate to be one of those people."

"What?" I pull my hand loose.

"Jaime Golden."

Holy fuck! Docs wife. I've seen her in a couple of pictures with Brittany. In the pictures she had long hair. Now she sports a bob, cut just below her ears. "I know about you."

"What ever she told you was a lie. We never did anything, She loves you and I love Natalia."

"Let's keep it that way." She smiles with perfectly white teeth. Straighten the jacket of her suit.

"Well let's not keep everyone waiting." She runs to the door holding it open. "What are you waiting for?"

I take a deep breath before taking the next step.

Doris

I hate weddings. Why the hell did we get picked to where the suits. I think I would have looked stunning in a bridesmaid gown. But I wouldn't have worn it but that is beside the point anyway. Where the hell is the main hall? I turn down another long darkened hall way.

Back to hating weddings. With everyone pretending to be happy and secretly taking bets on how long the relationship will last or who will cheat first. The only good thing about it is the reception but only if there is an open bar and loose women or at least Blake.

Fuck, Blake. I already know I am going to hear an ear full when I see her. I had to make her look bad on the stand. She'll come around one of these days.

As much as I hate to admit it I did feel sort of bad. I know what she wants and always have wanted, I just can't give that to her.

And I'm not on some woe is me kind of thing. And I'm not Olivia. I don't think that I'm not good enough. I just love what I do. I like politics, I like wooing women with their husbands yards away. I like sleeping around.

I've never wanted the 'honey I'm home thing'. Could I live with Blake, of course I have. Could I be in a relationship with her, no doubt. The real question is could I be faithful, the answer is an emphatic no. I couldn't and I probably wouldn't even try that hard. The way I see it I have kept her from a long life of crying in bed alone wondering who I'm with or where I am.

I know I handled thing wrong, our first time but I was young and I have apologized a thousand times and had hoped we could be friends. To an extent we have. If I could just stop falling in bed with her I think she could really move on. A small part of me doesn't want her to move on.

But that my selfish ego being on my chest when I see her with someone else. I can control it for the most part except when she provokes me and I have to have her. But then the cycle starts all over again.

I get to the end of the hall ways looking down the adjacent hall. Know I know I'm walking in circles. Where the hell is everyone any way? There are supposed to be signs and streamers leading the way.

I turn around at the sound of a door creaking open.

Damn it.

Natalia looks right at me her face morphing from confusion to annoyance.

She stalks out of the room towards me in nothing but her slip. "Johnny told me what you said."

"Good for you." I really didn't mean to say that. It was just a knee jerk reaction to her tone.

"I have tired. I really have, to be friends with you. I've at least tried to be civil with you but I am finished."

"What do you want, a standing ovation." Damn it. You can do this Wolfe, just be nice. This is Olivia's wife. Remember you are doing this for Olivia. She loves this woman so you can learn to pretend to like her.

"Like said, I'm finished. Olivia is mine. I know you did a lot to help Olivia when she needed it but it's my turn now. I am her wife. If she has a problem I'll be there to help her. You are her friend so stay in your place."

My place, she has the nerve to tell me to stay in my place. I am Doris Wolfe my place is every where. "Now you listen to me," I start to say but quickly snap my mouth shut. I have to remember to play nice, this is happening, if I want it to or not. "You're right."

"What?"

"I said you are right. Since you came along I have been trying to figure out why I don't like you." She blink dumbfound. "I thought it was because I was secretly in love with Olivia."

Just like I suspected her jaw clenches in nervousness. "Then I thought it was because you almost got my best friend killed. But I recently realized I just don't like you. No real reason I just don't. I have to except that Olivia is not single any more. She can't be my wing man or stay out too late." The look on her face is priceless. She thinks she's won, probably didn't think it would be so easy. What she doesn't know is that I don't lose, never. I know it's mean but she started and I have to hit back "But just so you know," I step closer to her. "If I wanted Olivia I could take her at any moment. And I mean take her like you never could, so don't ever approach me with this again. You won." I grit my teeth on the last part. I had to balance out the scales. The whole taking Olivia part probably shook her whole world.

The clatter of high heels echo down the long empty hallway.

"Here's the thing, I'm giving you something I cherish and have tried to protect. Frankly I don't think you're strong enough to hold that but I am trusting Olivia and you not to fuck this up. But just know that I'm always watching you. Just around the corner waiting."

She looks pissed beyond belief. I prepare myself for the slap I know is coming.

"Natalia! Why aren't you dress?" Blake and Lindsey rush past me taking Natalia by the arms back into the room. "And what the hell happened to your neck!"

NO POV

Olivia and Doris met Father Ray on the small stage.

Father Ray rocked on his heels biting the inside of his lips to keep from smiling so much.

The music began to play as Remy appeared through the double doors with Maria Rivera on his arm.

Maria Rivera beamed bright as if it were her wedding. Everything was beautiful. It was the exact replica of how Natalia had described it to her; fresh flower in very bright colors.

She walked with Remy never taking her eyes off Olivia.

While Olivia wasn't her first choice for her daughter she was glad it was someone who cherished her. Even she couldn't deny how Natalia's glowed when ever Olivia was near.

Olivia had shown she was more than willing to work for Natalia's love and everyone's respect.

Olivia smiled at Maria as Remy sat her down on the front row.

The music continued as Blake and Lindsey appeared at the door. They both held a bouquet of purple and white flowers. Blake smiled at her part time lover as she slowly made her way down the aisle with Lindsey behind her.

Father Ray stood up straighter clutching his bible tight. If someone had told him a few years ago he would be officiating Olivia's wedding he might have laughed in their face but here he was.

It was times like these when his faith in God was at its all time high.

For so long Olivia had tempted his faith. He often asked for guidance with respects to the woman. And still for years he never seemed to get an answer.

None of his methods had broken down her wall completely except for Natalia.

Until then no one beside Rodney and Doris were able to get close to her. So he waited. He found her in bars high and drunk; he took her home so she could sleep it off with out causing further damage to herself or to others.

And yet he was about to hear her say her vows to an equally deserving woman. They were both an inspiration to everything he believed in.

The priest reached out touching Olivia forearm simply smiling at her. He couldn't be prouder if Olivia was his own daughter.

He could see the blush creep up her neck as she gave him a shy smile back. All the abuse he had taken from the woman was well worth it.

'Here Comes the Bride' began to play on the organ.

Brittany and Emma shuffled down the aisle in their silver dresses. Emma picked one pedal out of the basket gently setting it on the floor. She repeated the process until every pedal was neatly laid on its back.

Doris smiled at the little girls. She had wanted a child once; that was before she got into the underground businesses that made her richer. They were liabilities now, but she had always thought she would make a great mother. Her parents had shown her how not to be.

Doris stood tall behind Olivia. She almost smirked when the man beside them touched Olivia's arm. Almost.

She was thankful for the man's presence when she couldn't be there. He was a big help in keeping Olivia out of trouble but he wasn't much in the way of helping her with her personal issues.

His answer to any question would always come back to a crap spewing fountain about god.

It was never what she wanted to hear nor did Olivia. Olivia's paranoia towards the deity would grow tenfold after meetings with him.

She was always the one to convince Olivia no one was after her. She was responsible for trying to reverse Father Ray's and her mother's condemnation of her. Still she trusted Olivia in his hands.

It was difficult to express how she felt about today. She was happy Olivia had found her 'soul mate' as Olivia had put it. She was a little sad that they were going to spend less time together. She was mad that it took so long for this moment to come around. She was confused because didn't like Natalia, but there was no particular reason for her dislike. She was also grateful for the woman's presence. If she was the reason Olivia woke up everyday and decided to stay clean then she Doris would do her best to be polite. Natalia was marrying into the family so whether she liked it or not she would welcome the woman and hoped she stayed.

Doris noticed Olivia was a little unsteady on her feet. She reached a hand out placing it on the small of her friends back. "You okay?"

"I um…"

"Just breathe." Doris patted Olivia's back as the doors opened one last time.

Natalia took a deep breath nervously shifting the bouquet from one hand to the next as the ushers opened the doors. Rafe stood just inside playing with his tie. All she had to do was take a few tiny steps to her son and he would lead her to her wife and that would be that.

Natalia's step faltered as she looked down the long aisle at Olivia.

"Ma?" Rafe whispered impatiently. He was ready to get out of his tux.

Natalia's tried to smile down at her son but she was unable to take her eyes off of Olivia waiting for her.

Rafe took the initiative, taking Natalia hand.

Natalia followed her son down the aisle. The music was forgotten as she began to walk faster. Natalia's step quickened some much Rafe was almost skipping trying to keep up.

They both stopped at the small stage. Rafe held his mother's hand up for Olivia to take.

Olivia rocked on her heels feeling more faint then she had when she first saw her wife to be.

With a small push from her best woman, Olivia stepped forward taking Natalia's hand.

Natalia stepped up facing her future.

Blake gently tugged the flower bundle out of Natalia's hand.

Father Ray waited for Rafe to take his seat and the music to stop.

"We have gathered her today"

Olivia tried to whisper, her throat was too dry to control the volume. "You're beautiful." She said interrupting Father Ray.

Their family and friends laughed as the priest cleared his throat starting again.

Natalia gazed into Olivia's impossibly green eyes, her future, the rest of her life played out, finally pausing at two old women sitting in purple jogging suits tugging on the remote.

A tear escaped as she thought about where they had both been to where they were both headed.

Olivia stepped closer cupping Natalia's face, her thumb swiped away the wetness. "Don't cry princess." She leaned her head in resting her forehead against Natalia's.

Creating their own cocoon, Natalia locked her hands behind Olivia's back.

Father Ray stopped his speech looking around for any indication he should continue.

"I just love you so much." Natalia hugged Olivia tighter, crying in earnest.

Father Ray took a step back realizing the scene in front of him was private.

Olivia tilted her head and began to kiss along Natalia jaw line; she stopped at the corner of her mouth.

Natalia captured her lips, her tongue searching for access which Olivia gladly gave her. The kiss intensified as the seconds ticked away.

Maria Rivera's face turned a deep crimson red. It had never been that passionate with her husband, but wouldn't trade their up and violent downs for anything.

"Okay save it for the honeymoon." Doris unlocked Natalia's hands pulling Olivia back by her jacket.

Another round of laughter broke out.

Like magnets their bodies drifted back to one another as soon as Doris's restrictive hand was gone.

"Let's get this show on the road before they lose an article of clothing." Doris snapped her finger at Father Ray.

"Okay." He stepped up to the couple. ""Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here to join together this woman and this woman in Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, and therefore is not by any to be entered upon, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained. Into which estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can show any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace…Rings?"

Doris pulled the rings out of her pocket tapping Olivia on her shoulder.

Olivia turned around just enough to take the rings. She put her ring in Natalia's hand not wanting to let the ball fist go.

"Wilt thou have this woman to be thy-" Father Ray started again only to be interrupted by Natalia.

"I love you." Natalia held Olivia's hand up to her chest. She bit the inside of her cheek, fighting the urge to cry. "I…um…I must have written my vows a thousand times and I still forgot them at home." Natalia nervously rambled as she squeezed her hand around the ring. "In the end it turned out to be five pages. It still wasn't everything wanted to say to you. I wish I had a larger vocabulary, and then maybe I could adequately tell you how I feel and everything you mean to me. And I'll never be able to find any words that could explain just how much my heart… my life…my soul you've changed."

Father Ray cleared his throat. "Just one second Natalia, we'll get to the vows."

Natalia took a deep breathe not even registering the priest talking or everyone laughing. "You are everything you me, you know."

She cleared her throat. "I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be able to wake up everyday and see you. I want to tell you I love you everyday of my life and I want you to believe it, because I mean it from the bottom of my being. You make me so happy."

Father Ray tried to gain their attention. "Okay, let's move along. Do you Olivia"

"See that's what I'm afraid of." Olivia said over the man.

Father Ray shook his head knowing when he had been beaten.

"I don't want to keep you in this situation if things go bad and they probably will."

"No." Natalia shook her head.

"Natalia I love you more than anything. You mean the world to me." Olivia sobbed. "I tried so many times to change and every time I would go back. But then you came along and everything just seemed so much easier. You put in so much effort to make everything work perfectly but sometimes I ask myself if I'm worth it."

"You are. You are worth every tear all the love in the world. And I will fight for you until I win. When no one else understands you can run to me. Right here." Natalia squeezed Olivia for inference. "Right here is your safe place. When the world is too much to face, when you can't tell if you are up or down and you don't think you can win, I'll be here, waiting for you. To let you know you are perfect just the way you are and you are so worth it." Natalia whispered in Olivia's ear. "I love you so much."

"I don't have a speech made out and I can't top that." Olivia pulled back a bit looking Natalia in her watery eyes. "I know that I am not perfect and I'll mess up sometimes. I know I love you and…I feel like you are the place my life began and I want it to end with you beside me. I don't want to miss one moment of our life together. When we are together I know I'm not alone anymore. I know you won't hurt me like the people in my past. I know these things because I feel them and I can feel because of you…I give my hand to you with all my heart. I will love you, I promise you; for as long as you want."

Olivia took Natalia's hand. "With this ring, I'm bound. And I promise that I'll do my best to never let you down." She slid the ring home on her wife's finger. "I told you once that you were my reason for living and I meant it. If you will make me the happiest woman on earth and give me forever to show you how much love I have for you I promise I will love you till the day I die."

"I do." Natalia choked the words back. It was her turn to slide her ring on Olivia's finger.

"With this ring I am bound." She repeated Olivia's words. "Do you take me as your wife?"

Natalia kissed the ring on her wife's finger.

"I do." Olivia smiled looking back over her shoulder at Doris.

For her part Doris pretended to be unaffected by the emotional exchange, instead she focused on who she would take home from the reception.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife you may kiss…again."

Emma chose the moment they locked lips to throw the rest of the flowers everywhere in celebration.

Rafe rolled his eye really ready to get out of his tux.

"Your chariot awaits my lady." Olivia held out her hand for Natalia to take.

Natalia let herself be lead out of the door to the steps of the building to be greeted with a real chariot pulled by two white horses. "Oh my God Olivia!"

"Horses, Mama, horses." Emma jumped in excitement determined to be the first to animals.

"This is just the beginning." Olivia smiled watching the light double in Natalia's eyes.