PRESENT November
Rafe
"RAFE GET UP!"
"I'm up!" People say Mondays are the worst but I vote for Thursday and Fridays. One more day until the weekend and even than I will be at work with Olivia. For the last month I've been doing a half day at school then working at the hotel. And I'm not even getting paid. There has to be a child labor law about this. At first it was fun but now I see how she more and more and it disturbing to say the least.
I roll my eye at another knock on the door.
"Ma I'm up."
"You're not up until you are downstairs and ready to go, now move it."
The kitchen is always hectic in the morning, everyone fighting for the last beacon strip or who will sneak a pop tart out. Today is no different except Ma is doing the cooking by herself like she has for the last month.
This morning Olivia is nowhere to be found.
"Good morning sweetie." Ma twirls around the kitchen in her apron, flipping pancakes and scrambling eggs.
"Good morning Ma." Nothing can wake a person up like the smell of a good breakfast and coffee.
"Rafe I need you to drop the twin off at school. Olivia is not feeling well."
"Yipee." I fix myself a cup of coffee.
"I thought I told you to stop drinking that stuff it'll stunt your growth." Ma takes the cup from my hand sipping it. Her face sours at the taste. "Just like your Mother, not enough sugar and no cream." She pours it down the sink.
"Ma I think I'm as tall as I'm going to get."
"You never know."
All I can do is shake my head as she spin again setting plates on the counter to be filled. The phone ring as she finishes the plates. "Rafe can you put those on the table." She takes the phone in the next room.
I'm getting tire of everyone leaving me out of things. First Olivia has all these secret meeting that aren't on the schedule and now Ma is taking calls in the next room and whispering on the phone. I need get to the bottom of it.
After setting the plates on the table I creep into the living room and to the front door. I crack the door open watching as Ma paces the porch talking low on the phone.
"NO I refuse to believe that."
….
"I know she is not cheating on me."
…
"I have, every time I say something we argue. I ask what's wrong she says 'nothing'. I've been trying to get her to talk but she won't. I'm worried, what if she did relapse, what are we going to do? I know she would never put the children at risk but…I just want to help and she won't let me.'
…
"I think the children know something is wrong."
…
"I am being strong; I have to for them and myself. We have to do something."
I lean against the wall beside the door. I guess if I weren't in denial I would have been able really realize it before now. It all makes sense now; the secret meetings, her always being tired, her sleeping and all the other M.I.A activities.
After all the speeches she gave me about drugs. She has some fucking nerves.
Olivia
Rafe comes through the front door, startling me from my work on the couch.
"What are you doing here, shouldn't you be at school?" I look him up and down. Its only 10 a.m., work does start till 12.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" He always has a comeback, its wearing thin on my nerves.
"Rafe this is not going to fly. Come on I'm taking you back to school." I grab my keys of the coffee table before getting off the couch.
"No, I'm not going back." Defiance clouds his eyes.
"Uh, yea you are, now let's go." I grab his backpack strap, when he tries to pull away it breaks, spilling the contents of his backpack on the floor. He stand like a deer caught in the head lights, eyes jumping from me to the spill.
I look through the mess trying to find what's got him scared, till I come across a small bags filled with white powder.
I see the drug that's dark hand held my life for too long. I slowly pick it up, hoping its baby powder.
"Oh, Rafe tell me, you're not on this stuff." I hold the bag up in front of him.
He stands silently, shifting from foot to foot. I can see he's scared, which is good.
"Rafe what the hell are you thinking? Why would you do this?"
"I'm not, I…I was" He stutters trying to find an answer.
"Sit down, now." I try to keep my anger under control. He obeys, sitting on the couch heavily.
"Why?" I ask but he still doesn't answer. Maybe I should call Natalia first. "Rafe look at me, why would you do this?" He won't look at me and I can feel the tension building between us. "You know what this stuff can do to people? How many times have I told you-"
He interrupted me. "Yea you've told me a lot of thing. Too bad you don't practice what you preach." His foot taps to the ground, ready for an explosion.
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Oh come on. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Rafe jumps off the couch and paces the room. "You sit here and lecture me about drugs. What about you?"
"I stopped a long time ago, because I love you and your mom."
"That's bull shit! You think I don't see what's happening?"
"Rafe you better watch your mouth. I know you are upset about something but I will not have you talking to me that way."
He crosses his arms over his chest. The tears gathered in his eyes. I miss the days I could pick him up and rock him until he settles whatever was hurting him.
I walk over to him running my hand through his curly hair. He's already taller than and still growing. "Tell me what's wrong."
He pulls away from my hands soothing gesture. "You are! I'm not fucking stupid. I saw you with Rodney."
I sigh. We probably should have talked to him earlier about my past, instead of letting everyone else tell him. "Yes I was with Rodney but he is clean now. You know that."
"Right, so I'm supposed to believe he's straight now. Why, cause you say so?"
"Wait what does this have to do with you?" I tried of arguing with Rafe every step of the way. With this headache I bound to lose my temper. "Rafe go to your room, I'll be up in a minute to talk to you." He gives me one last look as he headed up the stairs.
Even after all these years I can still feel it.I open my hand just enough to sneak a peek at the bag. I could take it in the basement and no one would be the wiser. Maybe I would forget about my impending doom. Or maybe it will be quick and painless, al least I'll feel good, well better than now.
The door to the living room opens and I quickly stuffed the bag in my pocket.
Emma runs up to me hugging around my legs. "Hey baby girl, where's your Ma?"
"Outside." Emma still holds on tight.
"I miss you too baby but I have to walk." I reach down and pick the little girl up. Damn the doc said no heavy lifting. She'll have to make an exception.
"Did you have a good day?"
"Look." Emma smiles big showing me her missing tooth. "The dentist pulled it."
"Oh, did it hurt?"
My little girl shakes her head, no. "He gave me the laughing gas. It made me dizzy and sleepy. When I woke up it was gone. I have to leave it for the tooth fairy."
"Why don't you go do that?" I put Emma on her feet. She quickly runs up the stairs.
The twins and Natalia trail in the door. "Hey Baby."
"What are you and Rafe doing here so early?" The twins sit on the couch watches us over the back of it.
"I need to talk to you about that."
"What's wrong?" Natalia cocks her head to the side trying to study me, like she can actually read my mind if she concentrates hard enough.
"I don't know but we'll talk later. Okay." Walking up to her I kiss her forehead, before heading upstairs. I want to get to the bottom of this before I tell her. Drugs are kind of my territory.
Rafe
I gotta find a place to hide. I'll be grounded forever if Ma finds out about this. Hopefully Olivia won't tell. If she does I can always go for the pity or guilt trip. I open one of my comic books waiting for the storm to come up stairs.
Knock.
There it is. "Come in."
The door opens and Olivia steps in closing it behind her. She leans against the door looking around my room, probably for more drugs. "Is this all of it?"
"Yes."
"So you gonna tell me what this is about or are you going to shout more."
I shrug my shoulders at her question. No one told her to break my backpack in the first place.
"Who gave it to you?"
"You." I try to scream but it only comes out as a pathetic whisper.
"Rafe I'm not kidding. I want to know who sold you this stuff. NOW."
"I found it." More like I stole it.
"Do you think I've relapsed?"
I shrug my shoulders again. All the symptoms are there.
"I haven't, if that's what you think."
"Can we talk after dinner?" At least I can listen to her lies on a full stomach.
"Yes we can; you, me and your mother."
Fuck no! "This is between us."
"NO Rafe you brought that stuff into OUR house and around your little brother and sisters. It's between all of us." She opens the door on her way out.
"Okay, okay." I give in. Slowly she closes the door, leaning back against it. "I just wanted to see what was so good about it that you would risk everything."
"Rafe I told you I'm not using. Who told you that?"
"No one. You just been acting different and I thought I knew why." I don't know if I should be happy, but if she isn't using then she's cheating.
"Nothing is wrong Rafe. Everything is fine." She's lying through her teeth. And we both know it.
"Okay." I can lie too.
"Are you sure that's it?"
"Yes that was all of it."
"Rafe I say this with only love in my heart. If you ever bring that stuff here I'll call the cops myself and make sure you are prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I've been there and I don't want you to know what it's like."
"Yes ma'am…But everything isn't okay. I'm not a child."
Olivia slowly nods her head then turns and leaves.
It ain't fair, what she's doing, I deserve to know who or what she's doing.
Rafe
As punishment for last week Olivia is making me work everyday even the weekend but when I got to work Olivia was dead sleep in the suite. So I take matters into my own hand to find out what's wrong. Those computer classes I took really came in handy; hacking into her computer was easier that than I thought it would be. Hacking into her email was harder, but I did it.
Spencer inc.
I feel a lot better. Still tired a lot.
JROOKS
That's good I want to see you today.
Spencer inc
Can't having lunch with my wife and dinner with my family, maybe tomorrow
I scroll through the most recent one. The conversation seems to be about meting again. Not if I can help it. At the bottom of the other woman's email is a phone number and name, Jackie Rooks. I take my chances dialing the number. I hope she is ready for a good cussing out.
"Thank you for calling Dr. Rooks's office. My name is Cindy, how may I help you today." The woman smacks on a piece of gum as she talks.
"Um yes is Dr. Rooks there I need to talk to her."
"In regards to what?"
"An appointment she has with my mother Olivia Spencer. I am her son."
"Oh yes Mrs. Spencer, you must be Raphael, let me put you through." Her up beat voice kind of confuses me. Why would the doctor let her receptionist in on the affair; probably books hotel rooms under her name. And why the hell would Olivia tell her about me.
"Dr. Rooks." Her soft voice only serves to make my anger flare. She probably used it to seduce Olivia. "Hello this is Dr. Rooks."
"Yea I'm calling about Olivia Spencer… you need to…"
She cuts me off. "Did something happen? Give me the hospital address and I'll be there in a few minutes." Through the phone I can hear her packing things, sounds more like throwing things in a bag.
"What, no. I'm her son, Raphael." Something clicks in my head. Why would Olivia be seeing a doctor and why is she talking about hospitals. "Um actually I'm calling to reschedule her appointment."
"Oh god, you scared me." The exalted breathe rushing into the receiver. "Well I'm glad she finally told someone. She talks about you all the time."
Suddenly I really don't like where this is going. But I have to get some info out of her since Olivia is holding back. "Yea she finally told me everything, how you're the best…um"
"Cardiologist." She finishes the sentence for me. Laughing like I'm some kid who can't remember a big word.
"Right she says you're the best."
"I really wanted to see her today but went did she want to schedule it?"
"Dang I forgot let me call you back." I snap my fingers in the phone receiver.
"No problem. Just give me a call back."
I hang up the phone before I start to hyperventilate. There has to be a logical reason for Olivia having an appointment with a cardiologist, like for yearly check up. Maybe I heard wrong or this is all some sort of mix up with another Olivia Spencer.
I creep back into Olivia's office. She should be in a meeting with the staff. That gives me a little time. The file cabinets line the wall but I know which one to hit first. The second to last one has all her personal information. In the second draw there's a folder labeled medical but there are no papers in it.
No, Olivia would be smarter than that. She wouldn't put something like that in here.
Helplessly I walk circles in the room, trying to figure out Olivia's hiding place. Not the file cabinet definitely not her desk, car, home, briefcase, secret walls. Olivia was always the best at hide and seek until I found her hiding behind all those shoe boxes in her closet. I shoot out of her office up to the suite. She has to have close to a hundred empty shoes boxes and probably double actual shoes.
I tear through them, making it almost to the bottom. In a tall black shoe box, I'm assuming held knee high boots, I find the stacks of paper. The first paper explains it all.
Patient: Olivia Spencer
Condition: Dilated Cardiomyopathy
Prognosis: 6 months to a year. In need of heart transplantation.
Why wouldn't she say something? All this time everyone has been accusing her of being on drugs. She's dying.
Olivia
It had been such a good week. I've told two people about my condition, my two best friends of course. Rafe hasn't made a peep; I think he's so scared he might actually jump through a ring of fire if I ask. But what ever it takes.
Today is not a continuation of this very good week. This morning started off great. I had sex with Natalia like I usually do when I don't workout and I haven't because when I do I feel like my chest is going to pass out. So we had sex and cooked breakfast together.
The day has continually gone down hill from there. First I couldn't start my day because I felt so run down. I took a nap but that didn't help at all. I called Dr. Rooks when she left a message about my appointment. I didn't remember saying I wanted to change it, I could have and just have forgotten. It's all well I didn't feel like driving there today anyway.
All day I've been feeling the abnormal heartbeat she's been harping about. And what happens when you tell a heart doctor your heart feels funny, she says, "I'm on my way."
I told her it wasn't necessary, she never listens to me. It probably just the medicine making me tired and peeing every two minutes.
As much as I hated it, I'm relieved. Dropping dead today is not on my to-do list.
But here is the cherry. Jaime calling me, yelling. It's just something about being chewed out on the phone as an adult that makes it that much harder to swallow. For the last minute or so, Jaime has been ranting and yelling in my ear. I'm too tired to even argue with her.
"Are you listening me Olivia? Natalia is crying her eyes out, telling Lindsey you're back on that stuff. So you have exactly one minute to tell me why?"
"I'm not on drugs for god sakes." I fight the urge to throw the phone or paint a sign on my forehead.
"Not good enough."
I sigh knowing this is a bad ideal. "You remember I told you I wasn't feeling great."
"SO?"
"I went to see a doctor and he referred me to Dr. Jackie Rooks."
"Jackie Rooks, but she a cardiologist."
I give her a second to let it all sink in. It's about time I start telling the rest of my friends at least.
"Olivia, you should have come to me." It's the voice I've been dreading to hear. It's the sound of people feeling sorry, because they know you're dying. The look is even worst.
"I couldn't, you would have told, and I need you to keep this to yourself. You can't even tell Lindsey, no one."
"But Olivia support can make a difference."
How does everyone know that? I want to see some empirical evidence that support that. "No. I'm going to tell her when I know for sure what's going to happen." I want to be able to give her a definite explanation.
Rafe burst in through the office door, slamming a folder on my desk. "When the hell were you going to tell me?"
I look down at the damning evidence, almost stunned he found it. "Let me call you back." I hang up the phone without hearing her reply. "Rafe…" I don't want to see his face nor the pain in his brown eyes. It would be too much like telling Natalia.
His tears splash onto the vanilla folder, creating a dizzy pattern.
"You're dying and you didn't even bother to tell me." His whole body shakes as his hand clenches into fist on the folder.
I can't figure out the right words to say. I've had plenty of time to think about them, they never came and they aren't coming now either.
Instead I walk around the desk taking him in my arm. He struggles for a second or two before breaking down. I can feel his hot tear soaking my blouse. I can feel the struggle leaving his body, and I can't help but cry for him. It's also the first time I've cried since the prognosis.
"It's going to be okay. You'll see." Hoping my words soothe some of his pain. I feel him hold tighter as if the hold would prolong my stay on this earth.
"Mrs. Spencer, Father Ray is here to see you." My assistant comes over the speaker.
"Rafe, I want to talk to you more. Why don't you go lay down in the back while I talk to Ray." I try to pull him from my shoulder, but he refuses to let go. "Superman, come on."
He finally relents, walking slowly to the next room. He peeks over his shoulder every two steps, as if I were going to disappear before his eyes.
"Olivia." Father Ray comes through the door.
I turn just in time to wipe my eyes and return to my desk. "To what do I owe this visit?" My voice almost cracks.
Father Rays' eyebrows jump in suspicion and curiosity. "I think you know why I'm here."
"Natalia called you." Someone has been a busy little bee.
"Yes, she did. But I think you called me a couple of days ago." He takes a seat in one of the vacant chairs.
"And you're just getting around to replying."
"To be fair you're a hard person to get in touch with."
"Try harder next time." I snap at him. I don't know why I called him in the first place, I don't need spiritual guidance, I need a heart.
"Did I interrupt something?" He nods his head behind me.
Rafe was standing, leaning against the door frame. He looks angry, his face red with pended up emotion.
"Rafe I thought I asked you to wait for me." It sounds cold and it was. I don't need everyone knowing my business until I tell them. I didn't even want him to know, not yet.
"Right, because we got all the time in the world to talk." He pushes away for the door. "Does he know? Hm?" He walks drunkenly across the floor. "Of course you know. She tells you and Wolfe everything, doesn't she?"
Father Ray looks at me out the corner of his eyes uncomfortably.
"Yea, go on like nothing is wrong, that what we're all good at right. Ignoring what's right in front of our face." He's turns away from us walking to the door.
"Rafe, stay." I command him. He's too emotional to be anywhere unsupervised.
"No." He walks out of the door slamming it behind him.
I force a smile at Father Ray. "Teenagers right?"
He doesn't look amused.
"Look I thought I needed to talk to you but I don't. So if you can tell Natalia to stop climbing up her phone tree we can all move pass this." I get up from my chair. "Thank you for coming, I'm sure you know the way out." With that I walk out of the room to find my son.
RAFE
How fucking stupid do I have to be. Any normal person would have when out the door to the car and just drove, but noooo. I couldn't do that I had to go upstairs to the penthouse. She's going to know I'm up here. All I want to do is be alone. By my self to figure this out.
I step out of the elevator. Something about this room is stupid. Everything is so fucking stupid.
I need some air. I walk towards the balcony but I stop myself before I open the door. To my right hanging up is a picture us. Me and Olivia. I can't remember what beach it was on. I should remember something like that. But I don't.
All I see is a stupid little kid smiling like a fucking idiot. "I bet you wouldn't be smiling if you knew me." I walk up to the picture staring my former self. "I'm talking to you, you little asshole."
Fucking picture is still smiling. I grip the phone in my pocket. Not that I meant to but before I know it, the device is flying across the room crashing and splintering against the wall. I watch the pieces divide and tumble on the floor.
"Look what you did." I turn back to the picture. "Asshole." I slide the door open hard enough to shatter the glass but it doesn't give. It rattles which angers me a little more. It should have broke.
I have a violent urge to flip over all the chairs out here; just toss them over the balcony, maybe jump over with them. That would show them.
Show them what? That would just be the end. No more Rafe. No more Superman. No more little asshole with a temper. Just the end. I know I don't have the balls to even dangle my feet. Used to piss myself just looking over the rail.
And what about death? Plenty of people I've known or called family have died. But what is death, is it a beginning or an end. Wolfe says there is nothing else but life. Ma says we go to heaven to be with the ones we love. What about people who had nobody to love them. What about murderers and rapist.
I don't want to die and I don't want anyone I love to die because what if Wolfe is right, what if there is nothing but now and yesterdays I don't remember clearly.
"I thought I'd find you here."
I didn't even hear her come in. I stay stark still, just ball my fist. Every single one of her lies heating my blood to a boil.
"So you what to talk."
"No." I turn away from her when she comes to stand beside me.
"Cut me a little slack here."
"Why?" I start out into the cloudy sky. The sun only able to break through a couple of small holes. "You don't care about anyone else."
"You know I love you."
"You don't." I snap back. She couldn't love me and not tell me that she could be gone in less than a couple of months. You don't just leave the people you love and not tell them."You should have said something."
"I was." I hear a chair scrape against the concrete. "I wanted to tell everyone the facts. I don't want people hanging on the edge because of me."
I turn to her sitting in a chair.
"I think you know what I mean. Everyday Rafe I think if I'm going to make it or if I will die. I don't want you or your mother to worry like that. It takes a lot out of a person."
"We have a right."
"You do. And I'm sorry but I'm only looking out for your best interest."
"You mean your best."
"No yours." She gets up with a small grunt. "You're too young to be as serious as you are, Rafe. You have your whole life ahead of you. Look you're already putting wrinkles on your face." She runs the back of her fingers down the side of my face.
I want to pull back instead I lean in to her touch. I like when she does that or combs her fingers through my hair.
"You have enough on your plate right now, my problems are my fault and I'll deal with the consequences. What I want you to do is go be a teenager without the drugs."
I flitch are the remark.
"But since you know. I can't take that back." Nervously she runs her hand through her hair. "With that said I'm going to need you to step up to the plate for me. As time passes I might not be able to do all the things I used to. And if worse come to, I'm going to need you to be the man of the house. Your mother is going to need help and you're the oldest."
"I don't want you to go away." Fuck I don't know what it is about her presence that turns me into a child. I pull her into a hug, needing to feel something beside the hurt of the future without my other mother.
"Well than it's settled. I won't." She laughs in my shoulder.
I pull back suddenly aware that someone could see us, but not really we're 13 floors up.
"It's going to be alright. Heart disease is sort of common and I have the best doctors on my side."
"Jaime?"
"After today, yes. But I have my own doctor."
"About that." I stick my finger nail in my mouth biting the corner. "I sort of thought you were having an affair and called her."
"Tell me you didn't curse her out."
"No! It's kind of how I found out then I found the folder." I rip the rest of the nail off feeling the stink of it ripping too low. "I spent like an hour looking up your condition on the computer."
She waves the statement off. "Don't worry about the statistics."
"So when were you going to tell Ma?"
"I don't know, so don't you go telling her anything. When I'm ready she will be the first to know. But until then I need you keep this to yourself, not even Brittany."
"Yes, Ma'am." We just stand beside each other watching the clouds swallow the last of the sun rays. Out of the side of my eye I see her sway a little.
"God it's so bright out here." Her words are slurred but I understood them.
"What are you talking about it's about to ra…" Before I can finish her whole body stiffens before falling like a tree. "Mom!" Out of instincts I grab for her but I only catch the collar of her shirt.
The button pop off flying everywhere as the shirt opens. A sickening thump of her head hitting the metal rail rings out into the sky.
I drop to my knees watching her whole body convulse. I don't know what's going on. It's too fast. A heart attack? No, no it can be. People are supposed to vomit or clutch their chest.
A seizure? Come on Rafe you passed health with a B. What did they say about seizures? Um…hold a person down, god no. Hold their tongue so they can't swallow it. Fuck I think that was one of the myths.
Time them. Time! I look at my watch.
Call 911! Fuck where is my phone? You broke it asshole.
I check Olivia's pocket still no phone.
Shit she has a small cut above her eye.
"Please stop. Mom!" To my surprise she does. Her whole body relaxes. "Mom?"
The sound of gurgling, no, snoring is her only response. She's breathing funny.
"Mom?" I put my hand on her chest. At least her heart is beating.
I need to call 911 but I don't want to leave her alone.
"Olivia! I know you're up here."
I crawl to the door, yelling for Doc. "Jaime! Out here."
In a few leaps she down beside me, checking over Olivia. "What happened?"
"We were talking and she fell and was shaking and she won't wake up." I feel my heart beating a hundred miles a minute. "Is she okay?" I practically climb up Jaime's back to see what she doing.
"Give her some room." She pushes me off her back and digs in her pocket puling out her phone. "Here call 911 her bp is low, probably caused the seizure."
"Ms. Spencer I'm here."
Who the fuck is that? I crawl back of to the door way.
"911 how can I help you?"
"Hello 911. I need help, my mom had a seizure the doctor says dp is low."
"Bp." Jaime corrects me.
I lean into the room waving the woman out to the balcony. "We are at the Beacon Hotel on Main Street in the penthouse."
"What happened?" The woman falls beside Jaime rechecking her.
"She had a seizure, looks like she hit her head." Jaime points at the small cut.
"I bet it's the medication, she was supposed to see me today so I could change it."
"Wait who are you?" I crawl on the other side of Olivia. For some reason I need to be here to protect her just in case this is some nut.
"Jackie Rooks, cardiologist." She looks down at Olivia holding her finger to her neck. She pulls out her doctor light lifting Olivia eyes lids. She mumbles like doctors do, looking for what don't know. "Um…" She looks at Jaime not knowing her name. "Can you hold her arm?"
Jaime does, while she pulls out a needle injecting the clear liquid into Olivia's arm.
"That should help her pressure."
We sit there for what seems like hours before the paramedics come in.
At least they have the sense enough to take the back way. As soon as we hit the ground floor we walk down the back hallway to the parked ambulance behind the building.
"I'm riding. I'm her son."
The female paramedic nods as they roll the bed in the back.
"I'll meet you there."
"I'm going to ride." The new doctor hops in beside me. "I'm her doctor."
We finally pull off headed to the hospital. The doctor doesn't seem worried so I figure there wasn't much to worry about, but they turn the sirens on anyway.
Ma is going to so pissed when she finds out.
Natalia
I hear the sirens before I see the lights and immediately pull off to the side of the road.
"Ma what happened?" Alex presses his face to the window.
"I don't know sweetie but always pull over when an ambulance is coming, you never know who is in it." I pull at the cross around my neck kissing it with a silent prayer. O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, our only help in time of need: We humbly beseech thee to behold, visit and relieve thy sick servant. Look upon them with the eyes of thy mercy; comfort them with a sense of thy goodness; and give them patience under his affliction. In thy good time, restore them to health, and enable them to lead the residue of their life in thy fear, and to thy glory; and grant that finally they may dwell with thee in life everlasting; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. I kiss the cross one more time.
"Kids say a prayer for the person." I watch in the rear view mirror as all three of them bring their hands together and close their eyes.
I pull back on to the road debating if I should stop by the hotel to see Rafe and Olivia.
I decide against it. There's three loads of laundry that have to be done and cookies that have to be baked for Emma sleep over tonight. So many things so little time.
"Last week seemed tense for no reason, mainly between Rafe and Olivia. They know something and they're not telling me what."
"You said that already." Blake says smacking on something in the phone.
I know she's tired of me complaining, she just doesn't see what I see. Olivia is almost normal out and about but when we get home she seems run down; and the tenseness between them at dinner last week. I try not to think about it. The possibilities run through my head uninvited. Maybe Rafe has the drug problem, but his grades have gotten much better since he start working with Olivia. Or maybe I'm just over reacting; they could be planning a surprise party.
"Are you going to say something or did you call me just to hear me breathe." I almost forgot I was holding the phone.
"I'm sorry Blake. I'm just putting these clothes in the washing machine. Olivia got gravy all over her pants." I still don't know how she does it. She can't go a day without wasting something on her shirt or pants.
"Anyway Doris said that maybe we're over reacting. Maybe Olivia is just tired."
I pick up Olivia's pants checking the pockets. "Sometimes I think that but you should see her. Some mornings she won't get out of the bed. She get out of bed in the middle of the night and sometimes she doesn't even come home, claiming she was too tired to drive ho…oh god" I pull some loose change out and a tiny bag full of powder.
"Natalia what's wrong?"
"I found…a bag of white powder in her pocket." I try not panicked.
"What kind?"
"Baby powder, what do you think?" I'll apologize later for the snap.
"So what's next?" Blake asks and I wish I knew.
"So I called this meeting to talk to everyone about Olivia." I sit at the head of the table. "Father Ray couldn't make it so it's just us." I look at our friends Doris, Blake, and Lindsey. I would have called Bailey or Johnny but I know they are busy or will go straight to her with it. I want to do this right. We need an intervention.
Olivia
The sound of a constant beep arouses me out of my sleep. It was such a good sleep.
The first thing I notice is something over my face. My hand feels heavy like I'm trying to move through molasses.
"Mom? She's awake." I hear Rafe voice.
What the hell happened?
"Mom, open your eyes."
I finally manage to open both my eyes, staring into the worried eyes of my first son.
"Olivia do you remember what happened?" Jackie stands on the other side of my bed.
"I'm in the hospital." I focus on my surrounding trying to remember what happened. "I had a seizure."
"Right." She picks u what I can only guess is my chart. "The medication made your blood pressure drop which caused you to have a seizure."
"You okay?" I look at Rafe who has tears in his eyes.
He nods his head. "You scared me."
"Sorry about that." I take his hand in mine. "So when can I leave?"
"I want to monitor you over night." Jackie says with a little hope in her voice.
"No."
"I knew you would be difficult a brought a heart monitor for you to wear. And…" She holds up her finger before I can protest about the monitor. "I've written you a new prescription that needs to be filled tomorrow. No argument or I will have you strapped to this bed for the rest of your treatment."
"She'll do it." Rafe takes the paper out of her hand. "You'll do it, right…for me?"
Oh that is not fair. He's using the kicked puppy eyes. "Yes."
"Works every time." They high-five over my bed.
"I can already see it is going to be good to have you on my team."