Changes

Hours after the battle on Crait

"What will we do now General?" Finn asked the question that seemed to be on everyone's mind.

"Now we rebuild." Leia replied, hands clasped tightly together. She caught Poe's eye and nodded at him.

He took that as a go ahead to begin informimg everyone what the plan was. They would go to this planet he had found. Small planet, almost completely deserted except for some mercenaries and outlaws that had found it to be a good hideout. Poe had found out about it through his brother, who everyone knew wasn't always on the right side of the law.

Rey listened quietly trying to process everything that had happened in the last few hours. Frankly, a great deal had happened in the last few hours.

She had gone to Ben.

She had almost died.

Because she had gone to Ben.

And then he had asked her to join him. Begged her.

"You're nothing. But not to me." He had said. Whatever that meant.

What did it mean? She wasn't sure.

Then she had fought hard on the side of the Resistance. Now all she had was a broken lightsaber and the Force knowledge of Luke's death.

Listening to Poe's plan she admitted that it was the right thing. It was a good plan. Go to a remote planet. Ask for help. Train. Regain territories. Start small but perservere. It was the best chance they had.

What bothered her was not knowing what she was supposed to do. Rey still did not know what her role was in the whole story. Was she a Jedi? She had never trained, but she could use the force and had chosen the Light. Was that enough to be a Jedi? Probably not.

Rey felt a wave of dissapointment wash over her. She remembered the excitment she experienced when Leia had asked her to find Luke. A really big part of her believed that she would finally find the meaning of her story. Her belonging.

She had felt she had found it, even if only briefly. When her and Kylo touched, when she saw his future. But more importantly when she saw how essential she was to his future. She found purpose in that.

But it had all been taken away from her. Kylo Ren had chosen. And it was not the Light.

"Rey?" Poe was waving at her.

Rey shook herself and replied. "Yes?"

"Leia said you have something to share."

Rey looked at Leia who was smiling kindly in her direction.

"Yes." She squeared her shoulders and stood. Then walked in front of the group. Before speaking, she looked over everyone. Perhaps a dozen people in total. Too few.

But somehow it gave her courage. Even if they were few, they were committed. She could tell just by looking at these people that they would not back down from any fight.

"Luke Skywalker is dead." She did not know why she decided to start that way, but it made sense. To give the bad news first.

That gained a few gasps and murmurs. Leia looked down and Poe leant in to hug her from the side.

"His death was peaceful. I could feel it in the Force." She continued.

"You have the Force." Somebody she did not know ask.

"Yes. I do. And Luke managed to show me a few things before he died. But generally speaking, I am untrained. I am not a Jedi, but the Force has made me.. umm.. capable."

She swallowed her mouth dry. She was unused to so many eyes watching her so intently.

"There is more." she added, mindful of how what she was going to say would affect Leia.

"Before the battle on Crait. I was not on the island with Luke anymore. I was on the Supremacy." Leia gasped. Poe and Finn frowned. The rest of the Resistance just looked at her wide eyed.

"It's hard to explain but I went there to see Ben Solo, or Kylo Ren as he most widely known. I..." she paused, looking down and tightening her hands into fists. "I had reason to believe that he would turn. Kylo took me to Snoke. And Snoke tortured me to find out Luke's exact location. And when I did not give it to him he told Kylo Ren to kill me." Leia gasped again, even louder. Rey's eyes flew to her.

"He didn't even try, Leia." She whispered passionately, reassuring her. "In fact he killed Snoke." She held Leia's gaze but then Rey's own turned glossy. She felt as though she was reliving the moment all over again.

"We fought together to defeat Snoke's guards but then Ben...Kylo, Kylo chose to stay. He did not turn. I am so sorry Leia. I could not turn him. In the end he chose the darkness." She barely whispered the last words, tears glistening in her eyes. But she held them in. She would not cry again because of Kylo Ren.

Leia raised herself to her feet and walked to Rey. She enfolded her in a hug, whispering words of comfort. Rey hugged her back fiercely.

"So Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader of the First Order now. That sure complicates things." Poe sighed.

Rey and Leia turned to face him, concern written over their features.

"What are we to do now, General?" One woman asked. Rey thought it was the captain.

"We are going ahead with the plan. So Chewie, Finn, step on it. I need to speak to Rey in private. Everyone else, go rest. You have earned it. Tomorrow we will rebuild a Resistance out of ashes. But for today we will enjoy what we do have. Friendship. Family. And a great deal of liquor." She grinned. "Han always kept a supply of liquor on this ship. Chewie lead Poe to it. Let's drink for our fallen brothers and raise a glass for those who survived." General Organa finished on that impassioned note and grabbed Rey's hand leading her into what would have been Han's private chamber.

"Hmm. Still looks the same." She said with half a smirk. She sat on the narrow bed and patted the place next to her.

Rey sat down and Leia grabbed her hands in hers.

"You are a very brave girl Rey. The bravest I have known. And there are no words for me to say how much I appreciate what you did for my son. That you went for him, sacrificed your own life to set him free. Now tell me, if you please, how did you know? How did you know that he would turn if you went?"

"It's a long story." Rey said and looked at Leia who gave her a look that said, I'd like to hear it nonetheless.

"Snoke tied me and Ben through the Force. So we were able to see each other. In the most inappropiate moments too "Rey blushed at that gaining a curious look from Leia.

"What do you mean connected?"

"I saw him. Spoke to him. He was conflicted." Rey raised her voice passionately. And she knew she was right. He was conflicted. But maybe not anymore.

"And this one time, we touched." Leia's eyes went wide.

"Through the Force?" She asked.

"Through the Force. And I saw his future. So vivid and clear. Like I am seeing you know.

"May I ask what you saw?" Leia said hesitantly.

Rey blushed. She did not know how to describe it into words.

"You don't have to if you can't." Leia assured patting her hand.

"So why did Ben not turn?" She continued.

"I don't know. But the moment Snoke was dead he asked me to join him. And to let old things die. He begged me to come be by his side. But I couldn't. I couldn't let all of you die. So we fought. And managed to break the saber in two. Ben was knocked out by the blow but I wasn't, so I ran away."

Leia said nothing for a while. But Rey could tell she was crying silently. Suddenly she hugged Rey and whispered;

"Thank you so much. You have restored my hope. I believed my son to be lost. To hear now that I know the person, the only person that can turn him is an amazing relief."

"But, I failed." Rey said. Leia grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her slightly.

"No you haven't. Your vision, it has not been fulfilled yet. Otherwise your bond would be broken. Is it broken?"

Rey shook her head.

Leia just beamed.

"Amazing. You will bring Ben back. I believe it. Truly I believe in you Rey."

Rey just stood there incredulous as Leia hugged her for a great while longer.

She really wished she had the same faith in herself.

A*A*A

Later that night

Rey awoke with a gasp. Her dream had been so vivid, so terryfing. She had said yes to Kylo. And she felt.. She really didn't know.

A strong sense of awareness made her alert. She looked across her room and sure enough there he was. Only, he was not looking at her. He was not looking at all. In fact he was sleeping.

Hesistantly, Rey got out of her bed and walked as silently as she could towards where his bed was. It was so strange, to be a galaxy apart and still be able to see one another.

As Rey got closer she could see that he wasn't wearing a shirt. She felt herself flush at the realisation but could not stop herself from looking at him. He looked... different. Getting closer, she noticed that he was slightly shaking, his whole body tense and sweaty. He was murmuring something but she could not understand. So she got closer still. Close enough to feel his breath on her cheek as she leaned in to listen to his murmur.

How strange she thought. This connection. This bond between them that would connect them at such unusual times.

"Solo." He gasped out. "Father." Just a breath, a whisper. But the gut wrenching sound pulled at Rey's heartstrings. She could feel the regret and the longing in his voice. And something else, something that sounded so much like the cry of her own heart: loneliness.

Incomplete.

She wanted to touch him then. Anywhere. Anyhow. Just a small touch. For comfort.

His or yours? A voice whispered inside of her head, that sounded oddly like Luke Skywalker.

"No" she whispered. Choice made, she turned around and tried to Force push him out of her room. This was her space. She needed to be alone.

Back turned towards Kylo Ren she frowned terribly at the bed trying to make him dissapear.

"It doesn't work." She heard him say, his voice groggy from sleep, yet still so cultured, so deep.

"The Force is still connecting us. Why?" He added, his voice curious.

"I don't know." Rey let out a bit more aggresively than she'd wanted. She did not look at him, but she could feel him, watching her.

"Hmm. Neither do I. Do we find out?" He asked.

Rey turned around and walked angrily up to him, not stopping until she was almost touching the bed he was in. She saw him flinch back for a split second, before composing himself. Staring her in the eyes, he squared his shoulders and hardened his jaw.

"You have made your decision Ben. And I want to have nothing to do with you anymore. From now on, even when the Force connects us, I will ignore it. I will ignore you. I don't care the Force is connecting us. We are not friends." She finished passionately.

"Are we enemies then?" His voice was deep and strong, but Rey detected the barest hint of vulnerability. Even half naked and in bed he still commanded the space between him. But beneath his stone exterior, she detected something. Fear? Loneliness? She did not know what it was, but it broke her heart. For him. For herself.

The temptation to touch him was irresistible. And still she denied herself, afraid of what would happen if they did touch through the Force again. So she touched him with her eyes instead, kindness etched in her every feature. She traced his scars, some really old, others new. Scars that she had given him. She traced them all with her beautiful hazel eyes.

When her eyes met Ben, the longing between them stretched tight like an invisible cord. It stretched and stretched as their breathing became laboured and their eyes did not leave each other.

It stretched and stretched until...

It snapped.

And everything dissapeared, leaving Rey staring at an empty room desperately trying to catch her breath.

She closed her eyes and leant against her bed. Mouth dry and heart sore, she made a promise to herself. She would never aknowledge the Force connection between them ever again.

A*A*A

Months later

Rey threw Finn to the ground. With a grunt he rolled over and Poe charged ahead towards her. Still holding Finn pinned to the ground she outstretched her arm towards Poe and used the Force to hold him on the spot. Rose then joined in going for Rey's throat. Rey threw Poe onto the ground and used her now free hand to twist Rose's hands behind her back. She then got up and using her other hand she Force grabbed Finn and brought him to his feet. Then using the Force she she moved Finn and Rose next to Poe on the ground.

They all laughed good naturedly.

"That was the best one yet, Rey." Rose said excitedly clapping her hands.

"Yes, thank you everyone for the help with training." She smiled at them.

"Of course. You're our secret weapon after all." Poe laughed and slapped her on the back.

"Smooth Poe." Finn exclaimed dusting himself off.

Rey just laughed and grabbed her staff.

"Still not found a way to fix the lightsaber?" Rose asked concerned. "Because you will need it if you are to face him and -

"I know." Rey cut her short.

"Okay." Rose replied before giving her a short hug.

In the months following the battle on Crait, her and Rose had become good friends. She liked Rose. She was brave and strong but also sweet and kind. She was perfect for Finn. Who still found having a girlfriend was strange. Good. But strange.

Rey winked at him as he grabbed Rose's hand and started ahead towards the main Resistance camp. They were on a field nearby now, a space they always used for training.

They had traveled to this planet as per Poe's directive. And they had built something. And although it was still small it had grown considerably in the past months. Many Resistance leaders from other planets had joined them and brought other people with them. Some soldiers, some scientists, others to cook and tend to everyone. But their base was now significant. And it was growing still.

That made Rey smile as she followed behind Finn and Rose, Poe beside her.

"How was she today?" She asked Poe quietly.

Poe sighed. "Still trying to reach him. But she's either not getting through to him or he is ignoring her." He said annoyed.

Rey sighed too.

"He is stubborn, Poe. And he probably needs more time-

"She is dying, Rey." Poe interrupted. "There is no better time than this." He exclaimed.

Rey stared straight ahead. She understood Poe. She was also angry with Kylo.

"Besides, you know we need him on our side if we hope to have the smallest chance of winning this. And Leia, she wants him by her side."

"I know, Poe. But he is not likely to come to our side. You know I tried." She sighed again.

"I know Rey. And no offense, but you are no one to him. I know that the Force convinced you that you can turn him. But in the end it will be family. It is always family that rescues us. I believe Leia can do it." Poe declared passionately just as they had reached the base. He waved at her and went inside.

Rey just stood there. She felt as if Poe had slapped her. She was nothing to Ben. Was he right? Was she wrong? Why had she thought she could turn him? Was a vision enough? She was no one and still... Ben had told her she was not nothing to him.

"Agh." She exclaimed hitting the ground with her staff. She huffed and then followed Poe inside.

A*A*A

Later that day

Rey paced the entire length of her room. She wanted to go to Leia. And speak some sense into her. But she was still General Organa. So she could not just order her about. She could try. But it would not work.

Leia was a stubborn woman. One had to be, she guessed, if she was leading an entire galaxy's Resistance against the forces of evil. Particularly if those evil forces were her own son.

She huffed.

She puffed.

She paced.

Until somebody knocked.

"Can I come in?" Finn asked.

"Yes." Rey replied, finally stopping her pacing.

"Leia's finished with Poe now." Finn just looked pointedly at her. "He's going, you know. Kylo Ren never communicated with Leia, so she's sending Poe to try. One last time."

"It will not work." Rey stated with conviction. "We cannot simply manipulate him into coming here. And then what are we going to do Finn?"she carried on passionately.

"You remember the last time you faced him in battle?"

Finn nodded.

"He is powerful." She sighed. "Very powerful."

"Are you afraid Rey?" Finn questioned.

Rey thought about that for a minute. Was she afraid? Of Kylo Ren? Maybe.

Of Ben Solo, she was terrified.

Snoke had been right about her inability to stay away from him, because he was conflicted. Because she could see his future. It was insane, but she was more afraid of his vulnerability than his power. Kylo Ren she was able to fight. But Ben Solo.. she wasn't so sure about that.

"I am not afraid." She replied, conviction marking every word.

"Okay great. But you know I do have a back up plan. To escape you know." Finn whispered conspiratorily.

"You're joking right?" Rey laughed.

"Yes." He hugged her. "These people are my family. You are my family. I am in this until the end." He laughed with her.

There was a long pause, before Finn spoke again.

"You know, Rey. We've achieved amazing things since we've come here. We've grown from barely a dozen to three hundred. Symphatizers now send us money, weapons and resources twice a week. And we have at least four other rebel bases in the Galaxy." He grabbed her by the shoulders and continued.

"I know he has almost conquered the whole Galaxy. But the people are fighting back. We are fighting back." He finished confidently, softly squeezing her shoulders.

"Yes, we are." Rey nodded. She was going to end the conversation there, but then she remembered something she had heard, and that she wanted to share with her friend.

"Listen, Finn I have heard some rumors. About some kids who can use the Force. I think we should gather them together and bring them here." Finn was looking at her like she was only half-crazy.

"Ughh.. that could work I guess. What would we do with them?"

"I was thinking I could train them?You saw how far I got with using the Force. Sure, I could never train them to be Jedi. But they could at least be good soldiers." Rey replied excitedly. "And then also I was thinking we could give them a family. If they don't have one." She finished, raising her eyes to his, hesitant but hopeful.

"Let's tell Leia." Finn nodded smiling.

"Yes." Rey laughed. "Yes."

Finally, finally she felt there was a purpose in sight for her.

A place in the story.

A*A*A

A week later

Rey was swishing her staff around the pile of rocks. She pointed it forwards, then to the side.

She loved her staff.

But for crazy reasons she really missed her lightsaber. Luke's lightsaber.

She dropped her staff and looked longingly towards the broken lightsaber. She wished she could find a way to recover it or better yet, get her own.

"You miss it don't you?" Leia whispered softly, causing Rey to jump around. And sure thing, there she was, all princess and general rolled into one. An odd combination, that suited her perfectly.

"How are you?" She asked, concerned.

"I am well. As well as I can be I guess." She said with a soft smile. "But don't let me interrupt your training. I was enjoying watching you. Reminds me of Luke." She smiled. And then added with a frown. "And Ben." She looked at Rey curiously. "Yes, you remind me so much of Ben. The passion, the dedication. Relentless. Fierce. Stubborn." She laughed at that last word.

"Will he come?" Rey asked putting down the lightsaber and grabbing her staff again.

"I don't have high hopes. I hope he will. Because if he does not, this will hurt him more than me. I don't want him to carry this with him." Leia said softly, her voice weak from the effort.

Annoyed Rey hit the rock so forcefully, a piece of it fell off.

Leia studied the girl. She was such an interesting girl. No family, no background. No one to teach her the difference between right or wrong. Yet Light seemed to be an intrinsic part of her, her willpower so strong.

Still Leia could see she was struggling. She felt she had no purpose. Her identity was a mystery to herself. And the time she had spent with Ben had shook her to the core.

Leia could see how she tried to hide her feelings, deny herself. Because it was the right thing to so.

It caused her to be in awe of this girl, simple and unimportant, who had nonetheless become so essential to her and to her son. It puzzled her.

"I've actually come to tell you something." Leia said as she looked at Rey. "Your idea to bring in the children here, the ones with the Force. I have approved it and will also make official announcements at the bases. I believe in you Rey. If anyone can save us all, it's you." She smiled at Rey tenderly.

Rey threw her a look of immense gratitude.

"I won't dissapoint you Leia." She declared.

"Good." Leia nodded.

A*A*A

Rey was angry today. She was really angry. Poe had been gone more than a week and he had brought no news of Kylo.

Leia was more ill with each passing day. And Rey suspected that her son's rejection had cut off the last thread of hope she was hanging by.

She was wasting before her eyes and Rey could do nothing about it.

In the first few days she had tried ro conjure up the Force bond, but she could not control that so nothing happen. And that frustrated her beyond anything. Mostly because she would have loved to tell Kylo off for hurting his mother in this way.

She knew he was their enemy. But she also had seen the conflict within him.

In all fairness this actually terrified her because if the conflict had been resolved and Ben would not come then it meant she had lost him for good.

She was pondering all this as she was watching over Leia when she heard some commotion outside Leia's cabin.

She pushed the leather curtain aside and walked outside. As soon as she stepped into the common room the noise got louder.

And then she felt it.

The Force. An energy, humming. She felt it so hard and unexpectedly it seemed to seep right through her skin.

She felt goosebumps.

And then she looked up.

Immediately, her eyes connected with his. Two fiery gazes meeting. And she felt that cord, the cord that was always between them, that seemed to tie them together.

Confused but still angry she strode all the way to him. He looked so odd in civilan clothes. Too much like his father. It almost made her soft. She had really cared for Han Solo, no matter how briefly she had known him.

When she stopped before him, emotions completely overtook Rey. She was angry with him. So angry that she had slapped him.

After that everything became a blur.

She felt sorry for him. She had slapped him so hard that she managed to draw blood.

That made her regret it.

So she touched him.

What a Mistake.

Touching him had completely overwhelmed her senses, the cord between them stretching so hard it made it hard to breathe.

And she kept wondering to herself, what had possesed her to do such a thing.

Filled with regret, she allowed him to regain his dignity in front of the crowd gathered to watch them.

Then he was gone.

And Rey was left staring at a room that was staring at her. Some people looked at her with fear, others with awe.

She didn't know what she felt.

Relief.

That he was here.

Fear.

That he would bring down the entire First Order fleet on them.

Anger.

That he had walked away.

And at herself, for losing control.

And most of all she felt heartache. He had changed.

Conflicted yes. But also controlled.

And in his eyes she had seen something that was probably just as vivid in her own.

Longing.

Rey's eyes lifted to Leia's concerned ones.

I am sorry she mouthed. Leia nodded and walked on after her son.

"Well this should be fun." Poe exclaimed.