Chapter 18: Hold on

The carriage rocked side to side, the sound of horse hooves ripping at the earth echoed around them, the wagon wheels creaking at each large lump in the ground. Sansa slept peacefully nothing stirring her as she dreamed of holding her babies. Arya watched her sister sleep for a while, they had been on the road for a day already and she couldn't stand sitting any longer. She called for the carriage to come to a stop so she could stretch her feet. Arya kicked at the clumps of earth as she wrapped her arms around herself to protect her skin from the cold thin air that was slowly seeping towards Kings Landing. She walked for what felt like awhile until she found herself at the base of the army. She looked out at the crowds of men ready to fight, just like her. Was that why Gendry didn't want her? Was it because she was more like a boy then she was a woman. Arya reached up for her short hair and tugged at it, compared to the Dragon Queens long beautiful white hair and her woman's body… how could she compete?

Arya angrily kicked at the ground letting out a large huff before turning back to the carriage where she heard Sansa crying. Her feet picked up speed, digging at the earth like a horse's hoof, scared something was wrong with her sister. She never thought she could be close with Sansa, but Jon had made her a better person… her experiences in the world made her a different person. Not the same spoiled naive brat who wanted to blindly married the golden hair Lannister disguised as a Baratheon prince.

"Sansa?!" Arya panted as she flung herself around the carriage and into the door where Sansa laid against the wall of it, holding her stomach, tears streaming down her face as she looked to be in some sort of pain.

"It hurts!" Sansa cried out, "please make it stop!"

"I don't know what to do!" Arya panicked reaching out to touch Sansa but then pulling back as she watched her sister writhing in pain, "good gods Sansa!"

"What?" she moaned between sobs.

"Your bleeding…!" Arya felt lost, not sure what to do. Horror covered her face as she looked at the blood staining her sisters dress.

"Help me, please," Sansa begged as she arched back in pain.

"Shit! Help!" Arya yelled running out of the carriage to find the hound, Tormund and Brienne talking not far away, "help!"

"Arya?" Brienne asked turning to look at a panicked Arya, her face now sweaty with panic and action.

"It's Sansa! She needs help!" Arya panicked pointing back trying to find the words, "there's blood…"

"Tormund Send for Jon, bring him back quick," Brienne looked to the red headed wildling who grunted and nodded, running towards where his large had been grazing, "Sandor seek a medic... and use haste."

"Aye," the hound said standing up, he looked at Arya and nodded at her. It was a strange nod, one of condolence and one of acceptance and even respect. Arya didn't have time to return the sincerity as she followed Brienne whose long legs carried her farther then Arya could. Arya tried to push past the sound of her own heart beating loudly in her head.

"Arya," Sansa moaned as they reached carriage.

"I'm here, I'm here," Arya said breathlessly as she climbed into the carriage.

"We need to cut down some time and get her to a medic as soon as possible," Brienne said as she observed Sansa before turning to look at Arya.

"What do we do?" Arya asked as she held Sansa's clammy hand. She could see beads of sweat starting to drop down Sansa's forehead, "we need to help her."

"And we will," Brienne reassured the youngest Stark sister. Brienne was swift in movement, catching Arya by surprise as she leaped from the door and onto the front of the carriage, taking charge and moving the horses forward. Arya sat beside Sansa holding her close to her to help avoid the amount of rocking. Strangely for sweating Sansa's skin was nearly ice cold, her skin paler then its normal creamy white complexion but all the pink pigmentation in her skin seemed to be gone. She looked almost as if she was frozen, and nearly like a corpse.

"Get him out of me," Sansa moaned as she tossed and turned beside Arya.

"Hurry!" Arya hollered as she stroked her sisters red hair, for a moment forgetting how awkward this should feel to her.

"Almost there," Brienne hollered back as she snapped the reins once more to hasten the horses towards the camp that had just been set up. Finally, she heard Brienne call out to the horses and the carriage quickly came to an abrupt stop nearly throwing both girls around like a sack of potatoes.

"Ouch!" Arya yelled to make sure Brienne heard her.

"We are here," Brienne said impatiently as she jumped down and grabbed Sansa, pulling her out as if she weighed nothing.

"Please," Sansa moaned and pleaded in agony.

"Your alright milady, help is nearly here, I swear it," Brienne tried to talk soothingly to Sansa as she ran towards the hound and the medic he was dragging kicking and hollering.

"What's the meaning of this?!" the medic said angrily yanking his arm from the hound's strong grip.

"Fix her, fix the girl," Sandor shoved him towards Sansa. The medic grumbled as he looked at Sansa and shook his head.

"I don't know what's wrong with her," he said turning to face Sandor who shoved him back towards the girl, this time his hand was on the top of the medic's head as he shoved him inches from Sansa.

"Then look," the hound growled.

"Please sir take her to your healing quarters, lady Sansa needs your help," Brienne begged softy as to tone down the hound's harsh abrasive demeanor. The man sighed realizing he had little to no choice whether he could figure out what was wrong with the girl in front of him.

"She is your queen, do something," Arya snapped making the man jump before leading him to the tent that was being set up for minor injuries and illnesses. Arya jumped as Sansa moaned, writhing in pain as Brienne laid her on one of the tables.

"Her skin is cold, and her heart rate is slow," the man said baffled as he checked her pulse and began to look her over, "I don't understand how this could be."

"Sansa?" Jon said breathlessly as he ripped the curtain aside looking side to side until he spotted her. He was quick to be at her side on his knees, but with each moan and sounds of pain she made he became more aware that she was not there with them, "what happened?"

"I don't know," Arya shook her head as she stood back next to Brienne. Jon looked at Sansa, observing her up and down, noticing the blood on her skirt. His head quickly shot back to Brienne who just gave him a look that he knew meant she didn't know what happened.

"Do something, anything," Jon begged looking up helplessly at the man before him who was removing the clothing from Sansa to cover her back up. Jon placed a hand on her stomach and quickly flung it back, the look on his face threw Arya and Brienne off… what had made him look that way, "her stomach…"

"Odd," the man said as he felt what Jon felt, there was nonstop motion, feet and hands almost trying to claw their way out, "if this is a miscarriage then I've never seen one like this."

"Can you do anything to help her? To save HER," Jon said as her took Sansa's hand in hers. He observed her touching her hair and her face with the other, her skin was so cold to the touch.

"Save them," Sansa moaned, half their half gone, "please…"

"Jon?" Arya looked at her cousin with worry, what would he choose to do if it came down to their children or her?

"I think you should leave for a bit My King," the medic addressed and bowed, "I vow to do everything I can but I need to prep her."

"I can't," Jon shook his head no and squeezing her hand tighter. The medic stared at him as Brienne laid a hand on Jon's shoulder, squeezing firmly but gently. He let out a sigh before nodding, kissing the knuckles on her head, "if you love me, don't let go. If you love me hold on, Hold onto me. I can't without you."

"Jon," Brienne said softly, she watched Jon's face as it crumped before her… a man, lost. This was a feeling Jon never experienced before, then again, he never had so much to lose. He never thought he would love, and for a moment he thought of Ygritte and how much he cared for her. He knew he truly believed he loved her, but he realized even then that had no effect on him like Sansa had. She was more than his lover, she was his best friend, his confidant, his strength, his guidance for when he was lost. He needed her, he didn't realize until that moment how much he has relied on her… from the moment she walked through the gates of the Nights Watch. Jon paced back forth his fingertips at his brow in concentration as he closed his eyes to think awhile, to disappear for a while. Arya grabbed Jon's hand.

"You look a little unsteady," Arya said softly, "hold onto me, I've got you."

"Thank you," Jon nodded tired, exhaustion causing lines to crease on his face.

"She will be okay, she is the strongest person I know, even stronger then you… and you came back to life from the dead," Arya tried to comfort Jon the best she could, he gave her a small smile, to reward her effort.

"She is strong," Jon nodded and let out a huge sigh as he looked into the sky.

"And stubborn…"

"So stubborn," Jon laughed as he looked down at the little brown haired once sibling turned cousin, she would always be his sister, especially now through marriage she was once against his sister.

"Thickheaded that girl is," The hound chimed in.

"And brave," Brienne said with her hands behind her back as if she was still standing guard, "she has faced many great trials and overcame them."

"She is all those things and more," Jon agreed looking at each of them gratefully, "thank you. All of you."

"Of course," Arya said smiling, patting Jon on the back.

"Yep," the hound said shrugging.

"Absolutely, My King," Brienne said dipping her head in respect.

"Who?" Jon took a few steps forward confusing them as he watched someone dark riding towards them. Brienne placed her hand on her hilt but the hound already had his sword out ready to defend his little bird and her king if need be. Jon looked in surprise as the rider jumped down, removing the dark hood to reveal red hair as she pushed passed Jon with no word, she passed Brienne, but the hound blocked her way. Jon hesitated for a moment as she glanced back at him wordlessly.

"I heard her cries," Melisandre said holding her hood on part ways, her eyes a light with fire, refueled from the journey she hence came from.

"Let her pass," Jon said to the hound who let out a huge sigh before stepping aside.

"Whatever you do, you must remain whatever strength you must not enter this tent, no matter what you see nor hear," Melisandre said seriously, he nodded in confusion but he knew his choice was limited. She nodded her head back slowly in response before removing her cape and walking into the tent. It wasn't long before they heard Sansa's moans grow louder and her cries sharper. Jon bit his teeth together clenching his jaw to not go running in.

"Jon?" Arya asked with squinted quizzical eyes, questioning if this was wise. Jon just nodded before pacing some more. She could see his breathing had picked up, he couldn't stand to hear the things that were from Sansa. It made him wonder if she made the same sounds when Ramsay would visit her and then he would get angry at the thought and wished to have Ramsay there to punish again. Arya jumped when suddenly Jon pulled the sword from his sheath and began to hack at the earth angrily, with such aggression Arya worried for a moment if Jon had lost his mind, "Jon?"

"I should never have left her side, what was I thinking?!" Jon breathlessly hacked away at the ground, clumps of earth flying everywhere, "I should never be away from her."

"My King, please understand it's not your fault," Brienne said trying to sooth him some. Jon ignored her as he paced once more. Jon tried to process what he saw from the outside with the strange lights flickering and the trembling of the tent. Finally, the red witch walked out and looked at Jon.

"It's not good, but she is fine," Melisandre spoke slowly as she recouped from what she did.

"The babies?" Jon asked exhausted and nervous.

"They are fine as well, for now," she said wiping the sweat from her forehead.

"For now? What happened to her? It didn't look natural," Arya asked snappish not wanting to beat around the bush.

"It wasn't natural, not from this realm at least," Melisandre said slightly losing her balance, "it was the Night King. He found a way inside of her, almost a door. I've managed to shut it for now, but he was claiming the twins for himself by turning the mother and ultimately the children. Their power scares him and intrigues him."

"That makes a little sense," Arya said looking down deep in thought.

"How so?" Brienne asked taking a step towards Arya, a hand placing on her shoulder.

"Sansa begged me to get him out of her, I assumed in the most awful situation that she was dreaming about Ramsay," Arya said softly before looking back up at Jon.

"You should be with her now," Melisandre said to Jon but also the others, "she had to face something horrible. With the Lord of Light I was able to dig deep into her, to go inside and fight off the White Walker, my magic needs some time to recharge after this one."

"Thank you, for savin her," Jon said before rushing past her to be with his Sansa. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead causing her to stir as she slowly and groggily turns to face him.

"Jon?" she asked, her voice cracking. He nodded squeezing her hand.

"I'm here, always," he said stroking her cheek.

"I held on, like you asked, with all my strength," she said softly, her eyes teary, "I needed to be with you…"

"Good cause I can't go on without you," he smiled at her making her smile in return.

"You're a silly, Jon Stark," Sansa teased, coughing from the action.

"Silly am I? Tell me, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?" Jon asked kissing her lips gently. She smiled when his lips left hers.

"I love you," she whispered as he stroked her hair

"And I love you, Now and forever, from this day until my last… just as I vowed," he said smiling at her.

Arya snuck out of the tent for some air, glad her sister was okay. She took deep breaths as she walked around the set-up campsite. She walked for what felt like forever when she heard his laugh, the one she had been so I love with. This was her moment, the moment to make Sansa proud.

Authors note: I hope this was a satisfying chapter, we are getting closer to getting to dragon stone.