A/N: SANSA CHARACTER EXPLAINED: To the review about Sansa constantly apologizing, consider it part of her character arc and development... growing compassion and a conscious doesn't make her weak but in fact strong. I think you also forget she is pregnant, and I don't know if you've ever been pregnant before, take it from someone who has twice, her emotions are peaking high so she is going to be extra emotional about things she might not normally be so. I think that once Ramsay is gone and she realizes she was so desperate to beat Ramsay she callously gave up on Rickon, despite being the rational move in the battle, I think this will weight heavily on her. I think that her growth and the things she experienced will have her looking back a lot to how stuck up and naïve she was, and this will be a heavy burden on her as she tries to recreate herself to be a better mother then her own mother was. She doesn't want to be like Catelyn, who hated a motherless child selfishly, creating a monster in her daughter. I think this with her pregnancy would mean she is constantly dwelling on the things she had done. Using others as pawns is not strength, it might be power and strategy, but its not a hero or someone to be proud of and any soon to be mother who is in their right mind wants to be the best version of themselves for their child. So please keep all this in mind if you feel like she is always apologizing, its not because she needs their forgiveness, but because she is battling demons that wont let her forgive herself. This means she has to struggle with those inner demons as she also faces the world and motherhood. She is going to draw her strength from this, she is a strong character, bold and smart, but she is also repenting because she has lost so much all because she wanted to marry Joffrey, this all started with her begging her family to let her marry him. This started the domino effect that lost her almost all of her family, that would be a lot of guilt to carry without feeling sorry.
PAY ATTENTION: I DO NOT THINK SANSA CAUSED ANY OF THE BAD THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED. I feel that SHE might feel this way, she herself calls herself a stupid girl, because she wanted something that led her to be alone, without family, in a place that has no love for her. Get off your high horses on trying to say I hate Sansa or that because I assume that she would want repentance for the choices she made that I am not team Sansa. She was my favorite character back in season 1 cause I could see that through her desires she managed to get herself stuck. I do not hate Sansa or feel she caused the death of her family, but she was determined to marry Joffrey and encourage her father to Kingslanding... etc etc. So she played a part in the turn of events, however, she was just a girl and didn't know Joffrey was evil and so was Cersei. It was all bad luck, and she has been strong in the way she has survived it all. That is why I am team Sansa, cause she has had the most character growth of all.
Chapter 20: Dragonstone
Sansa felt her breath catch in her chest as she saw someone she wasn't sure she could still call friend. Memories flooding her of what he had done, who he had become, the things he watched happen to her and did nothing... but in the end he had come to her aid. Whether it was to save his own skin or to truly help someone who was once his family she couldn't be sure. She still found herself mildly relieved to see Theon had safely made it to his sisters side, and surprisingly on the side of the Dragon queen. Sansa was started from her quick thoughts to hear Jon mumble something angrily, his hand going to his hilt as he rushed towards the traitor.
"Jon," Sansa spoke quickly, grabbing his arm. Had any other person dared to touch the King of the north in such a way in front of others, they would have met serious punishment. Sansa looked into her husbands eyes, and he could see without words she did not hold Theon at the same level of responsibility as he did, "he helped me..."
"Sansa?" Theon asked meekly, she could see he still wore his scars mentally and emotionally, only he could truly understand the damage Ramsay could do to ones mind, body, and soul. They had a special connection in that way. He and Jon were caught by surprise by Sansa when she embraced him, briefly, but strongly.
"We are free," Sansa smiled at Theon.
"I am sorry," Theon's eyes spoke to her with great truth, she knew he never meant to be as weak as he had been, "for everything."
"As am I, old friend. I was stuck in my own head in what he had done to me I hadn't considered what he had done to you to break you," Sansa took his hand in hers, and he could see that she had risen from the ash of the damage Ramsay did much like a phoenix. He could see a new strength in her, and he wished he could be as such.
"You owe me no repentance," Theon shook his head looking down, where his gaze stopped at her protruding belly from her coats and cloaks, "is that his..."
"God's no," Sansa realized what he meant.
"You are lucky my wife is more forgiving then I am," Jon interrupted his hand still on his hilt, "if you had not betrayed Robb perhaps he'd still be alive."
"Or perhaps he would be dead alongside him, and not there to help me escape," Sansa shot back to Jon, something he hadn't realized, "what is done is done."
"I never wanted anyone to die," Theon said thinking of his best friend, "I admit I feel guilt often for my friends lives."
"Besides your father stole my..." Ashara had started as she joined her brother.
"Enough," Theon said quickly looking to his sister, "please. They are my family as much as you are."
"You have a funny way of treating your family," Jon snarled. He hated that Theon had been treated better then he was their whole life, and yet he was the one to betray them.
"Come, now, let us not point fingers," Sansa said taking her husbands hand.
"Married?" Theon finally came to realize as they held hands.
"Aren't they siblings?" Ashara asked her brother, as they had not been in the loop.
"Does it matter if we were?" Jon could not contain the level of annoyance in his voice.
"Half?" Theon asked trying to rap his head around the idea, "I guess it makes sense... you were never really close."
"That past is the past," Jon said between closed teeth.
"Indeed, my love," Sansa faked a smile as she looked to Jon, she could feel him vibrating beside her, "let us walk and catch up."
"Yes, we must show you around," Theon said looking between the two trying to not let his curiosity show.
"I am incredibly exhausted," Sansa said looking to the others. Daenerys had been sitting on the side watching the exchange, as if to be studying them. Tyrion was not long beside her, clearly amused with what was going on.
"My Queen," Ashara acknowledged, having forgotten she was there.
"Oh so I am present after all, how wonderful," the dragon queen did not look as amused as her Hand.
"I am truly sorry for my misguided tongue," Ashara and Theon bowed.
"Do you have anything to report?" Daenerys could not hide the irritation in her voice, she had expected perfection from her higher ups. Sansa couldn't help but find herself slightly admiring her as well as seeing the old Sansa in the dragon queen, the one who expected much and didn't have a problem doing or saying whatever to get there. She also found herself slightly intimidated by her husbands aunt, despite being related, Targaryens often interbred and engaged in incest, and this woman was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen... and slender. Sansa found herself self-conscious of her protruding figure, "do you not forget you are in the presence of my nephews queen? Did she not say her energy has been spent?"
"Indeed, milady," Theon bowed, "I shall show her to a room."
"Indeed you will," Danny smiled at her nephew feeling quite fond of her Targaryen family. Without him their line would be lost, and within the red haired Northern Queen before her, her family line was being carried on, "if you would excuse me, I must meet in the council chambers, Jon see to your wife and then meet us."
"Aye," Jon gave a grateful smile as he took his wife's arm. Theon led the way, watching Ashara lead Daenerys and Tyrion up a long spiral black staircase. Everything in this castle was dark and gloomy, it made her miss Winterfell more then she had thought.
"Thank you Theon," Sansa said as he stopped in front of a door which showed to be the chamber of a royal, it had been readied by maids she hadn't seen yet. Jon just grunted as he walked past Theon into the dark room.
"Anything I can do for you, Lady Sansa, let me know," Theon said smiling as she nodded and bid him good day. Jon was pacing the room, clearly wanting to be engaging with whatever the others were discussing, but she knew her husband well enough to know he would not leave her side until she was comfortable and ready.
"I feel weird here," Sansa said removing her cloak and fur coat, laying it across a wooden chair, as she stepped before a freshly lit fireplace.
"I know, it isn't home," Jon said walking behind her, placing his arms around her and resting them on her belly feeling the warmth of the fire over his knuckles. Jon spooked, moving his hand, after feeling her stomach awkwardly move. Sansa couldn't help but laugh, "something is wrong with your stomach... something is trying to break free!"
"Calm yourself, my love," Sansa turned to face him, taking his hand and placing it on her belly once more. He couldn't help but cringe as something pushed and slid along her belly, "its the baby trying to stretch. They grow more cramped each day."
"I both excite and fear their entrance," Jon said as his hands rested on his loves stomach, looking deep into her blue eyes as he watched the fire dance upon her fire red hair.
"Why fear?" Sansa gave him a small smile, she knew why, but she wanted to comfort him... she supposed that was one of her duties as wife.
"I don't want to risk losing you," Jon said with a sigh as he dropped his gaze to her belly, "for the first time ever I finally got something that's made all my efforts, all my sacrifices worth it."
"You'd never lose me, besides, you'd have our children," Sansa said placing her hands over his. He took one slender hand in his and places it gently to his lips.
"I use to pretend like father, Ned, didn't speak of my mother because it hurt to much. Like maybe he loved her so much that the mere mention of her name hurt, and that was why he kept me so distant," Jon spoke into her hands, unable to look at her, knowing this meant that though he loved Catelyn that Ned loved someone else more, "I figured that my existence was too painful a reminder for him. I would hate to make my children feel this way because I lost their mother because she gave her life bringing them into this world."
"When The Red Priestess returns, she will be there to birth the twins, she will keep me alive, I know it," Sansa tried to control her breathing, she couldn't deny the idea of death scared her, "but if I did perish for the birth of our children, it would be the best thing I ever did. Next to loving you of course. I faced true horrors, and I did things I am not proud of, this would be one of those things that I would gladly give my life for. You would never be a terrible father."
"You aren't going to like what I say next," Jon said looking away, his hands dropped hers. He walked past her and in front of the fire.
"Jon?" Sansa asked turning to look at his back.
"Euron is still out there, my aunt told me he is as dangerous a foe as Cersei herself, and that he possibly carries something that will take the Dragons from the fight. He will likely try to stop us from leaving her," Jon tried to clear his throat.
"What is it?" Sansa felt her heart racing, he spoke so grimly.
"I need you to return to Winterfell without me," Jon said unable to look at her, "I cant fight here knowing that he could take you captive or worst. You need to be home to rule for Bran so he can finish his mission."
"Jon, no," Sansa said grabbing his shoulder, turning him harshly.
"Sansa, it is a command, not a question," Jon put his foot down.
"You forget, I am a Queen," Sansa's eyes lit fire as she spoke, "you may be King, but the North back you because of our alliance."
"Sansa," Jon said taken back.
"I will not leave your side," Sansa did not hold back her anger at this idea, "how dare you try to drive me away..."
"It's for the safety of our future," Jon said trying to take her hands, but she pulled away.
"I will not leave, but you may," Sansa said pointing to the door.
"You need to listen to reason," Jon said wanting to take her in his arms but she walked away from him angrily.
"You may be afraid, Jon, but I am not," Sansa snapped as she walked towards the door, "I can protect myself. Take your fear and leave, I do not want to see you right now."
"Sansa, just listen," Jon said as he walked towards her.
"No," she said as he tried to grab her, her eyes were full of anger and tears, "don't."
"As you wish," Jon let out a huge sigh as he stared her in the eyes. He didn't want to anger her or upset her, but with her there he would not be able to be on his top game. Something she was sure the others fed into her mind. It hurt her to see him go, but his words hurt her. How could he want to send her away, especially so close to being due. When he left she closed the door, and leaned against it, finally letting her angry tears roll down.