Chapter 21: Second opinions

Sansa was silent for several days while the castle prepared their surprise advance on Euron who had escaped his last encounter with his niece and nephew. The Dragon queens rule would never be secured with Euron still out for revenge on being rejected. Jon had listened carefully as the group talked about the last encounter, about his strengths and weaknesses in the first battle. His demands for her hand, and the heads of his niece and nephew were met with blood and steel instead. This left an angry and even more dangerous Euron Greyjoy.

Euron had time to recoup and regain more men to his cause, his aim to now take the Iron throne himself. Jon tried hard to let it all sink in, but his thoughts kept wondering to his wife. Was this how Ned felt every time he heard Catelyn storm out after an argument over Jon? Was this the curse and the punishment his uncle felt for protecting Jon and his unknown secret? The pain of the one you love not wanting you near them. Each day the loss of Sansa's presence weighted heavily on him.

Daenerys watched her nephew carefully, each day the weight becoming more apparent than before. After meetings, he would usually retire to either to his study to think of strategic plans, something he could usually whip up with little thought, or he would retire to the training yard where he took his anger and frustration out on wooden dummies, or poor souls looking to spar. Daenerys knew that if something didn't change then their chances of survival dwindled.

Ser Davos walked beside Tyrion and the beautiful blonde queen along the edge of the castle, seeing Sansa near the edge of the water staring out into the endlessness. They all watched her, the same thought on their minds. It wasn't until Danny shrunk and let out a worried sigh that Tyrion finally spoke out first.

"Love has a funny effect on people my queen," Tyrion smirked softly as he watched the woman he was once married to. He did not love Sansa, not in the way he love Shae, but he had been fond of her… and had allowed himself to imagine a life with Sansa where he could love her. Until of course Joffrey was murdered and his young bride was swept away. Sansa was not the same girl shivering quietly beside him, everyday afraid of the next, she was now a woman grown and strong, a woman who saw many dark and cruel things and still managed to give her heart to someone.

"I know the effects of love," Danny said almost venomously, not intentionally angry with him, but more in her own thoughts, "I know all too well the disease it can be."

"It can also be a strength, too," Ser Davos added, his hands folded behind his back.

"I loved, and it brought me pain," Daenerys relived her moments with her late husband Khal Drogo. He had been her captor, but she had fallen in love with him none the less, and he loved her like no other.

"It also brought you strength, allies, a purpose," Tyrion added in, "without that pain you would not be standing here ready to reclaim your birth right."

"I don't know that," she said, her voice betraying her for a moment, the wind playing with her delicate white locks, "he could have been beside me…"

"The strength you have now, Danny, is based on the pain and horrible things you had to face," Tyrion looked up at his queen who looked lost in her own thoughts.

"Much like the Lady Sansa," Ser Davos added, "she has lived many nightmares and faced much pain to get the strength she now possesses."

"If only to be loved as she is loved," Daenerys added in, "my nephew would move the worlds, face the gods, and take on the underworld for her. I have seen it in his eyes."

"Indeed he would," Ser Davos nodded in agreement.

"It will also be his undoing," she turned to look at him, her eyes full of worry, "it weakens him…"

"It strengthens him," Ser Davos corrected her.

"It steals his mind, and his focus, he is useless to me right now," Danny turned to look back out at the endless ocean.

"It gives him purpose, it gives him fuel for the fire that keeps him motivated," Davos felt sorry for the queen, to know that she felt love to be a weakness, "do not let his sulking mislead him. I met the broken man he was before her, he was strong then, but she sparked something in him that wasn't there before… and now he is the man that will lead us through the long night."

"Jon has the love of a woman to strengthen him, to guide him, to keep him motivated. But you, my queen, you have the love of the people to fuel you… your people," Tyrion looked deep into his queen's eyes, he always knew the right thing to say to help Danny get past her moments of doubt.

"Jon must not go on like this," Danny said, thanking Tyrion with her eyes as she spoke, "someone should speak to the Stark girl."

"I will handle it your grace," Ser Davos offered, it would not be the first time he counseled and consoled the Queen of the North.

"No," Daenerys said firmly, her eyes on the red headed woman, "I think I shall try."

"I know her well, and have counseled her before your grace, I can do the job," Ser Davos knew this was a delicate matter, and wasn't sure how much interaction the Dragon Queen and the Wolf Queen had previously had. Daenerys placed her delicate slender pale hand in the air to silence him.

"I shall do it," she said firmly before turning to take her leave. Davos and Tyrion stood there watching as their queen walked from the balcony to the steps leading down to the beach. Sansa was startled by the sudden presence of the white-haired queen.

"Your grace," Sansa said with deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. Sansa observed the regal queen beside her, wearing a tight black leather scaled dress that made her almost look a dragon herself. It made Sansa feel so meek and insignificant next to such a strong and beautiful queen.

"Sansa," Daenerys was surprised by the tone of her own voice, a tone of jealousy dripping in it. She hadn't realized how jealous of Jon's love and devotion to the red-haired wolf girl, a part of her had wished it was herself that Jon had chosen to love… even though she was his aunt. But she had to put this aside, so she stood quietly beside the woman who had what she wanted. What she would never have. She looked at Sansa's protruding stomach, the life hidden behind the flesh of her abdomen, the humans this small red headed girl grew inside of her. She tried to not to hate her, as she thought of the son she lost.

"Is everything alright?" Sansa asked nervously, she had never been alone with the Dragon queen.

"No," Danny said softly, "Jon is miserable…"

"If you're here to speak upon his behalf you can stop," Sansa's cheeks turned pink as she turned to look away. Danny felt a flicker of respect for the woman beside her, she had passion, and she was brave.

"He did not send me," Daenerys continued to observe Sansa, leaving Sansa feeling quite awkward as she forced her gaze towards the rolling waves of the ocean, "but Jon is not himself, and he is useless to me if he is not giving me his all. It could cost me everything."

"Jon made his choice," Sansa snapped crossing her arms, "he treats me like I am weak and helpless."

"He loves you, he wants to protect you," she responded to Sansa's nearly childlike response with the arm folding.

"Do you need a man to protect you?" Sansa asked looking over to the white-haired queen.

"Fair point," Daenerys smiled seeing for herself some of the spark and fire to the Stark girl that must have intrigued Jon. She wasn't the meek damsel in distress she imagined her nephew had fallen for, "but I also don't have a man to love me the way Jon loves you."

"He punishes me," she said bitterly, "he still blames me…"

"You punish yourself, Sansa Stark," Daenerys interrupted, "Jon has never spoken anything about you that wasn't praise. He doesn't blame you for anything you did in the past… you punish yourself, you continue to blame yourself. He doesn't."

"Then why does he find me so weak? He fears I'll cause another disaster, that he will lose something because of me… like Rickon," Sansa's voice choked at her brother's name, "he still sees me as the woman who used him to win a battle."

"Did you not do so?" Daenerys asked curiously, she had always felt bitterly about Sansa for the risk she put Jon through. But she knew Jon better now, she knew Jon would have done so eventually whether Sansa forced it or not, "believe it or not… Jon does not believe your responsible for anything like that, especially not your little brother. You did nothing wrong Sansa, you were strong and wise, and Jon chose to engage Ramsay's game… he told me so himself. Stop hurting yourself, living in the past, believing you did these bad things. Jon loved you from the moment you set foot into castle black. I would know because he told me so himself, and Jon has never lied to me."

"Thank you," Sansa said softly, tired of beating herself up, thinking that she needed to.

"You are a survivor, Sansa," Daenerys said placing a hand gently on Sansa's shoulder, "I didn't understand you or my nephew until I realized this."

"He's a survivor too," Sansa smiled softly at the dragon queen.

"You are his strength," she returned Sansa's smile. It felt nice to talk to another woman, someone who didn't know the queen Daenerys, someone who could look at her with a fresh pair of eyes, "if he asks you to leave it is not to punish you, it is not because you are weak, it's because he fears himself if he lost you. For though you're his strength, you are also his weakness."

"I think he forgets I've learned to take care of myself. How could I not after being used the way I have," Sansa looked down at her stomach, "I forget sometimes that Jon is the only person whose ever put me first. No propaganda, no reason, no selfish needs… just pure goodness. He's good."

"Yes, my nephew is certainly that," Daenerys nodded in agreement.

"I've often wondered how he's survived as long as he has with the honor and heart he has," Sansa caressed her stomach trying to be closer to the lives growing within her.

"As have I," Daenerys smiled, "my brother would be proud of him."

"So would my father," Sansa smiled back. Daenerys without thinking took Sansa's hand in hers. A strange warmth and glow passing from the Stark queen's hand to her own. For a moment, she felt jealous of her nephew, feeling a glimpse of the magic that Jon fell in love with. She could finally see now what it was about this almost beautifully plain ordinary woman… she was in fact, anything but ordinary or plain. She only wished she could have seen and known this sooner. She felt so strongly against the Starks for being one of those in Westeros who had turned against her family and finally she could see she was wrong about them. She felt both an anger and gratitude for Ned Stark, on one hand he raised Jon a Bastard hated and mistreated by his wife, on the other he kept the son of her brother alive despite it being the death of his own sister.

Sansa had paced her room thinking about the conversation she had with her aunt in-law. She refused to let Jon push her into leaving, she would not leave if she didn't want to, but she also missed her husband. Sansa grabbed her candle holder and led herself down the dark hall of the Dragonstone castle. She could hear Jon still awake in his study, causing her to pause as she stood outside his door. She wanted to continue being mad at him but this was hard. Sansa took a deep breath feeling her heart hammer in her chest, how is it he still had this effect on her? Perhaps it was still hard to believe that he was hers, that after she had given up on the idea of love and marriage, that she found her soulmate.

Jon startled at the sound of her knock, gently pushing the door open she emerged into the light of his lit candles. Jon was speechless for a moment, as he looked at Sansa, who had been avoiding him for days. He could feel his desperation for her boiling inside of him, it was an obsessive need to have her in his arms.

"Sansa," his breath caught in his chest as he slowly stood, afraid any quick movements would scare her away.

"Jon," she said quietly as she closed the door behind her, her hand still on the door knob as she leaned against the door.

"Will you talk to me?" Jon asked slowly moving from behind his desk, slowly, calculated, like approaching a wild animal that might take flight.

"Yes," Sansa nodded, her eyes glazed over with tears.

"Without you around, it's been more then I can stand," Jon said stopping at the edge of his table, afraid to approach her anymore, "why do you run and hide?"

"My pride, I suppose," Sansa said still leaning against the door.

"What will it take to make you come back, why can't you look at me?" Jon asked as he watched her stare at the floor. She bit her lip and shook her head, "Are you still in love with me? Why can't we just start over again? Go back to the way it was."

"I worry it won't be enough," Sansa said still unable to look up at him, "you hurt me Jon. You don't believe in me."

"How can you say that? I've never believed in anyone more then I believe in you," Jon said finally moving away from the desk and stepping towards her. Sansa didn't move, she held her breath, she wanted so bad for him to touch her, "you know I'll always wait for you, I'll always love you. No matter what I must do, Sansa, I will always try to be there for you."

"I don't know why you always want to send me away," Sansa finally looked at him, the fire of the candles reflecting off her eyes, "how can you love me if you want me gone?"

"You know that isn't true, you know I don't want you away from me, I just get scared," he said now only a couple feet away from her.

"I just want you to trust me, to believe in me, I'm not weak," Sansa stared intensely at him, "I need you to. Because if you don't, how can I believe in myself?"

"You are the strongest person I know, Sansa Stark," Jon said now holding her face in his hands, "it's I who is weak. I am sorry if I made you feel like I thought you were weak. I am nothing without you. Who I am is not who I want to be when you're not around…"

"Jon," Sansa tried to hold back the tears.

"Tell me I didn't lose the love of my life," his forehead leaned against hers, "with every move lately I feel dead. Tell me you're not gone. Sansa, please, I forget how to do this how to be someone's partner…"

"You're blind if you can't see I'll never stop loving you," Sansa breathed, making Jon's skin litter in goosebumps. His lips curled into a soft smile as he closes his eyes, soaking in the feeling of her aura, so close to him, finally feeding his own. His movement was swift as he pulled her into his arms, holding her. He inhaled the scent of her hair as she buried her face deep into the furs of his chest. His hands combed through her hair until they found her face so he could lift it, gazing deep into her eyes before hungrily taking her lips for his own.

He missed the feel of her in his arms, the warm heat of her body, and the smell of her essence. She made him feel whole in a way he never thought possible, and sometimes his fear of losing that feeling drove him to push her away. He hated that about himself. Another part of him wondered how someone raised as he was could deserve let alone keep someone like her, the highborn daughter worthy of a prince, but somehow, she always made him feel worthy in the end. She made him feel like the King he was born to be, and the prince he should have been. He could feel her love for him matched his for her, the way she desperately clawed at him trying to pull her closer then he already was, so close their bodies were one.

It wasn't long before they were ripping at each other's clothes, that hunger within needing to feel their flesh against their partners. They were equals in every way, and fit perfectly like a puzzle, sometimes Jon felt like it was a cosmic joke played by the gods… to have grown with his soulmate believing they were half siblings. The biggest joke being they never really saw one another as a sibling nor treated the other as such.

"Gods I've missed you," Jon breathed heavily as he left kissed along Sansa's skin. He could feel her trembling in his arms as he gently laid her down, her desire flushed on the cheeks of her pale skin. Her lips parted in desire as her hands clasped on his back and his neck. She could feel her womanhood already dripping with desire, with lust and passion. Something she never thought she would feel for anyone. The feeling in deep in her woman hood ended in awkward gasp and a hard knee jerk that got Jon in the side startling him as she slightly rolled away, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Sansa laughed, surprising Jon further. This was not the usual reaction he got from her, and was beginning to bruise his ego a little. She placed a hand on her stomach and the other on her mouth to stifle the laugh. Jon bent up to his knees a look on his face that caused her to continue laughing.

"Sansa, what is it?" she could hear the irritation in his voice.

"I'm sorry," she said trying to control the laughter and give him as straight a face as she could, "I think the… excitement was a bit much for the children. I got quite a few kicks to the lady area, I think they were telling the feelings down there to go away."

Jon's face went almost white as he thought about it, feeling a strange pang of awkwardness. He slowly moved to lay down next to her, the excitement for him wearing down. Sansa bit her lip, her cheeks still read as she watched Jon's quizzical face. She quickly reached over and grabbed his hand placing down on the lowest part of her belly where he could feel the strong flutters of taps ranging around down there almost as if they were trying to dance or kick something away. Jon smiled as he watched her face, seeing the warm glow of motherhood and wonderment on his wife's face. Sansa scooted herself closer so she could lay her head-on Jon's strong chest, her arm wrapping over him, as both his arms now wrapped around her. It was moments like that, feeling the life of his children moving inside his wife, that made reality more real for him. She was giving him the greatest gift of all, not just her love, but a family.

Authors note: so so sorry for the very very long pause. I am going to try and update all or most of the stories this week. Next chapter will have much more action, promise promise. This was sort of a quick filler chapter to let you guys know I am still here and I wont abandon the story until its completion. Remember, review review review. Tell me what you enjoyed, what you would like to see, what you think would work better, any ideas you think would make the story more interesting etc etc.