I'm sorry! Life happened... and major no mood for writing. When I have those moods, the story really doesn't turn out the way I want it when I write, so I don't.

So by now I got used to my new job, I actually got handed some Norse documentation for some API and surprisingly it some of the words were easy to guess what they meant.

54: Whump Hiccup... I think of him as restrained really, but then again I know what is going to happen. Also I admit I am slow on the development of Hiccup, but I don't like it when things suddenly happen for way to little reason.

thedeathwidow: the reason I mentioned people by name is because they will have a role in the story. This is also why I was having trouble with how to include Heather, I needed a proper reason for it. So yes, they will appear, I will just not say how or when. So nope I won't tell you if they will come to Berk or if Astrid will meet them XP, be patient

Vivi-ntvg: It might not have been a dream entirely ;)

ps. Sorry for the mistakes at the end part... again... didn't want to make you guys wait another day. I really just finished writing this... Enjoy and please leave a review.

Chapter 23: That throbbing feeling called love

Suddenly frozen by mere shock Hiccup stared at the person that was using him as a pillow. He didn't even dare to breathe for a moment as his eyes traced her golden locks that had come free from her braid. Beautiful was the word that entered his mind as his heart started racing. She was still asleep and looked peaceful. Mesmerized Hiccup let his fingers glide down the strands of loose hair. Careful so not to wake her. He couldn't believe the situation he was in right now, but he wasn't going to complain. It was like a dream come true, he thought as a stupid smile started to appear on his face. Astrid stirred, which made freeze once more, but all that happened was her rolling of him, her back against his side. In her movement she had managed to get hold of his arm and cuddled it. Hiccup chuckled softly, rolled to his side as well and wrapped his other arm around her, holding her close. He took in her scent, realizing the walls he had tried to build between them, were quickly crumbling down. Though, he couldn't care less at that very moment. With that thought he drifted back to sleep.

When Astrid woke up, she really didn't want to open her eyes. It was comfortable and warm, which was strange, mostly because she had never been this comfortable before. The more she thought about it, the more her surroundings came to her, despite to have yet to open her eyes. She could clearly feel something behind her as well her holding onto something.

Her eyes flashed open as she remembered having laid down next to Hiccup when he looked freaked out by a nightmare. She had never even seen someone cry in his sleep, it had really surprised her, but it mostly worried her. Now seeing the floor rather close, she knew that she had fallen asleep next to him. Which meant… what she was feeling was Hiccup. Sure enough she found herself holding onto his arm and his other one was wrapped around her. For a while she stayed where she was, pondering what to do. In the end, despite enjoying this for some reason… it wasn't even the first time, she then recalled blushing, she got up as careful as she could.

Hiccup however stirred, rolled to his back and blinked a few times before she saw him scan his environment. His eyes landed on her, though he still looked half asleep.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she nearly whispered as she got from under the blanket.

Hiccup however seemed to disagree with that and grabbed hold of her, ending up in using her lab as a pillow, with his arms wrapped around her middle. It freaked her out so much she kicked him away. The boy grunted, rubbing the sore spot as he sat up.

"Sorry," he mumbled with an idiot grin which Astrid didn't understand, "I wasn't really awake."

Flustered she looked away from him and got up. After putting on her boots she made her way downstairs, Hiccup following her.

Hiccup yawned as he sat down. Although he was still tired, he didn't want to sleep his day away. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he stole a look at Astrid who was helping her mother with gathering everything for breakfast. Note to self; when tired, he lets his guard and walls down way too much and too easily. Luckily it was Astrid he was dealing with, so he wouldn't get far. She would just kick or punch him like she had demonstrated minutes earlier.

His eyes were locked on her when her mother handed her the cup of steaming tea. He recognized the scent and thus knew what it was, but didn't understand why Astrid was drinking it. Heck why her mother was giving it to her. It wasn't his business, so he wasn't going to ask, no matter how much he actually wanted to.

After breakfast, and a cold wet cloth in his face by Felman who claimed it was to wake him up, Hiccup went to the barn with a basket of fish to feed both Toothless and Stormfly. Astrid went to do her chores of the day and probably train when she had some free time. He was both disappointed they weren't planning on doing something together today as well as relieved. After what happened both last night and especially this morning, he wasn't sure about how he should behave… or how he would be able to keep himself under control. Heal leg, heal, he silently begged as he opened the barn doors. The moment he stepped inside, two dragons jumped to their feet. Hiccup kicked the basket over for them to eat as he watched Toothless stretch his body, followed by a sniffing motion. At first he thought his dragon friend was simply picking up the scent of the fish, but when the fish was ignored, it was obvious it wasn't. It then caught Hiccup's attention that not only Toothless was displaying this odd behavior, but Stormfly as well. The next thing he knew he nearly tumbled backwards in a pile of hay, but managed to keep his footing. Not without a shot of pain going through his left as a sudden weight was put on it.

"Would you stop that! Both of you," he protest as two dragon sniffed him all over as if he smelled like dragon nip.

Attempting to push both away and failing horribly at that, he let out a sigh and dropped in the hay pile there, letting the two have it their way. Though he had no idea why they were acting this way. Finally done, he glared at the two. Toothless gave him a smug dragon smile whereas Stormfly looked confused.

"Why do you smell of Astrid?" the latter asked to which Toothless let out a snort and gave him a questioning look.

So that was what this whole thing was about. He smelled of Astrid. As the thought sunk in, he started to blush, recalling last night once more. Of course he carried Astrid's scent after sleeping… with… her. Oh by Thor, please don't let her parents find out! The whole ordeal and what it would… could result in just only seem to hit his brain and it had him panic. Why was he only now understanding the situation he was in?! He quickly sat up staring at his black scaled friend.

"What did you do?" Toothless teased with mocking tone.

Oh how he now begged to not be able to understand the dragon's words. That would make things so much easier. Toothless had always seemed to like teasing him when it came to the female gender. Especially if he was covered with the scent of a female.

"W-we didn't d-do anything!" he quickly said with a broken somewhat high pitched panicked tone.

"Suuure, that's why you're covered with her scent," Toothless grinned, sat down in front of him and waited for Hiccup to fess up.

Point was there was nothing to fess up. Nothing happened… well nothing of the sort Toothless was thinking of that is… wait… his dragon friend was thinking of him doing what exactly? The whole thought train only made the situation worse as certain images entered his mind and he started blushing even more.

Stormfly tried to follow the conversation and seemed to finally understand what Toothless was implying.

"You mean, they mated?"

"No!" Hiccup shouted at the nadder causing her to make a startled jump.

With a bright red face and burning ears he dropped backwards in the hay, staring at the ceiling as he tried to calm himself. Seriously, how did he end up in a situation like this? Soon Toothless head blocked his view of the ceiling as he gave him a thoughtful look.

"I got that you didn't mate, you don't smell of… mating juices to put it that way."

He didn't smell of… oh Thor, can this conversation end, please? He rolled over so he didn't have to see Toothless face. Said dragon snickered and used a paw to roll him to his back.

"So what did you do?"

Hiccup looked away from the bright green eyes that gave him a teasing look.

"I… I had a nightmare," he started mumbling, "it was pretty bad. Bad enough for her to crawl next to me so I would calm down."

He looked back over to his scaled friend and found the teasing look had been replaced by worry.

"They're back?"

"I suppose so," Hiccup replied which resulted in Toothless nuzzling him, "not that they ever really went away. Though… I don't think I ever was crying in my sleep before. So ya… pretty bad."

Toothless gave him a look that told Hiccup he in fact apparently had cried in his sleep before. Hiccup sighed as he sat up and let a hand glided through his messy hair, making it even messier than before.

"I'm slipping though," he mumbled, "I don't know how long I can keep this up."

He saw the smirking face of his black scaled friend and then scowled.

"You had every intention of me slipping," Hiccup stated.

"Of course I had. Didn't I tell you let Astrid help you? You have had these walls build up for too long. The only ones you have let in are Holly, Peter, Snort and Eda. Sure you made friends with Vid and the others, but towards them you're rather distant. And I really hate seeing you like that."

Hiccup rolled his eyes and turned his back to Toothless.

"You don't understand it one bit!" he snapped, "I don't see Astrid as just a friend. You keep making those annoying gestures towards me being her mate, but that can't even happen!"

"For the love of the sun dragon," Toothless muttered under his breath as he made Hiccup look at him. The boy however continued his rant.

"I'm getting my hopes up for nothing, because I'm still leaving anyway! I'm not planning on telling her. All I'm doing right now is making things only harder for myself. And you're not really helping at all!"

Toothless blinked and stared at Hiccup for a moment before he responded.

"You're not going to tell her you love her?" he asked confused, "Not that you haven't already… you know, that confession in French. Stilll… you're not?"

Hiccup shook his head and noticed Stormfly's curious look. When she saw him looking at her she got up from her spot and walked over to them.

"What is this love thing you talk about?" she asked.

Hiccup blinked, taken aback by the question. Soon thereafter he tried to figure out how to explain a dragon what love was. It then hit him like a brick that Toothless understood the concept of love or at least it seemed like it. That damn dragon had been coaxing into it from the moment he had regained his memories.

"It's someone you care about a lot," he ended up explaining Stormfly, though thought that didn't even cover half of what the word love meant.

"I care about you two and Astrid and her family. Does that mean I love them?"

"That is a different kind of love," Hiccup sighed as he ran a hand through his hair once more.

He tried to come up with a different explanation but none came to mind. He turned to look at Toothless in the hopes he could help him out since that dragon apparently understood what love was. Toothless frowned, stood up and walked away a bit, which confused Hiccup and Stormfly alike.

"Dragons can love," the black scaled dragon suddenly stated.

Hiccup's eyes grew wide, not having expected that. Not even understanding it. He hadn't exactly seen love between dragons.

"It's just…" Toothless started and sighed.

He looked around to two pair of curious eyes. Although Stormfly also looked rather confused.

"Tell me Stormfly, have you ever had a mate?" he then bluntly asked.

"Yes, several," Stormfly answered not sure about where this was going.

"Several, so that means the first one died, otherwise you wouldn't have switched."

Shocked Stormfly stared at him. She eventually nodded. Hiccup was wondering where Toothless was going with this.

"I'm sure you remember you first mate. Probably the best out of all of them. Do you remember when you lost him? Do you remember you felt when you lost him?"

Stormfly didn't look happy at all, yet nodded. Feeling sorry for the dragon for suddenly being plummeted into thoughts of the past, Hiccup petted the creature on her snout.

"That first one, I'm sure you took a long time to find him. To even get his attention, to get to know him, to…" Toothless was suddenly interrupted by a spine shot nearly hitting him.

"Enough!" Stormfly shouted, clearly upset.

Hiccup glared at Toothless as well. Though all this information about dragons understanding love was new to him, he could understand Stormfly's reaction. Toothless sat down looking at them both.

"That was love," the black scaled dragon simply said, "you loved your first mate. I don't know what happened to him and there is no need for you to tell us. Just know that the feelings you had then were love. For some dragons it is short lived, not for your kind, neither for mine."

That last part Toothless mumbled, as he looked away. Hiccup stared mesmerized at his best friend.

"You… you had someone you loved?" he asked in a whisper, place his hand on his friend's snout. Toothless pulled his head away, yet mumbled a yes as he walked away from Hiccup.

"There are other nightfuries?"

"Of course there are, I am just not going to ever see them again," Toothless barked clearly upset.

It confused Hiccup, though he was surprised about how much more he was finding out about dragons, just by being able to understand their language. He was surely going to try talking to more dragons in order to update his personal dragon manual with this knowledge. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind for later, he kept himself focused on Toothless.

"Why? Are you mad at them or something?"

Toothless let out a snort and rolled his eyes.

"No, more like they at me. I was banished."

Felman stretched himself, getting his body ready for the day after both his daughter and Hiccup had left. When he opened the door to leave himself as well, he was greeted by Old Wrinkly.

"Ah, good morning," Felman said after processing there was someone at the door.

Old Wrinkly laughed a little.

"I was just about to knock, can I come in for a bit?"

"Certainly," Felman answered and stepped aside, closing the door after the old man had entered the house.

Old Wrinkly set down on a nearby chair and then dropped a small sack on the table. When no-one took it, he shove it over to Felman. Felman frowned at the object, already knowing what would be inside.

"I'm pretty sure we told you yesterday. There is no need for this."

"I know, but you are looking after Hiccup, so this is to cover that as I explained yesterday. The lad needs to eat as well, he's not supposed to be a freeloader," Old Wrinkly chuckled at his last sentence.

"He isn't a freeloader even if we don't get money," Ingrid stated clearly somewhat irritated, "he isn't a bother and actually helped out the other night when my daughter ended up not being able to properly peel a potato."

Both men chuckled, for Ingrid seemed more upset about her daughter being unable to do something as simple as peeling a potato.

"Still, Stoick insists and I agree with him… which cannot be said about many things he has done lately."

Felman sighed and knew he wasn't going to get out of this, so he grabbed the sack and opened it. His eyes grew wide at the amount of coins that was in there. He opened his mouth to protest once more, but Old Wrinkly beat him to it.

"It's for the entire time you have been looking after him so far. No complaining."

"Fine," Felman mumbled, closing the sack as he walked away to put it with their savings.

"Why didn't Stoick bring it himself?" Ingrid asked.

This time it was Old Wrinkly's turn to sigh, "he is currently keeping a distance between himself and Hiccup. Since Hiccup stays here, he decided it was best if I brought it."

"I don't see how that is helping his situation at all. It makes it even more clear to the lad his father doesn't care," Felman said as he sat down again.

Ingrid didn't agree with that, as she shook her head, "I think Hiccup rather wants to be left alone. I fear that if Stoick were to push it, Hiccup would find one way or another to leave. He already tried when he could barely walk."

The two Hofferson's looked at Old Wrinkly who had a frown on his face as he stared at the table. He wasn't sure what to think anymore. He wanted his son to actually be a father towards Hiccup, however Hiccup not willing to let the man in at all. Same counted for Valka.

Hiccup stared at Toothless with surprise. He tried to think of why a dragon would be banished from their nest, but couldn't think of a single one. Toothless let out a sigh.

"We're more alike than you think. When I was a hatchling I used to stumble over my tail, my wings… sometimes over nothing. My aim was horrible, firepower even more so. No matter how hard I tried I just… didn't fit in."

It sounded unbelievable. Toothless stumbling over his limbs and missing. Yet, everything in his tone told Hiccup every single word of it was true. Knowing exactly how it felt to be like that, he stood up, walked over to his scaled friend and sat down next to him. Laying a hand on the dragon's shoulder as he waited for his friend to continue.

"Then a bunch of humans came, not to kill us, but to trap us. I have no idea what they planned on doing with is after that. I… was given the simplest task there was, watching the eggs. I failed miserably. Not only was I trapped in a net, I crushed one of the eggs in my panic. Somehow I did manage to run off, but left the eggs behind. When I had finally found the rest of my nest two days later, I was immediately banished for… well… failing my task. I tried pleading with them, but even the only friend I had gave me the cold shoulder. To be expected, the eggs were to be her siblings. That was probably the hardest blow I got, especially since I loved her."

Hiccup got up and hugged his friend's snout.

"That's why I wanted you to stay… to try and make things better. You're not banished Hiccup, you still have a chance of gaining back what you lost."

He pulled back and gave his friend a conflicted look. Of course he understood Toothless reasons for everything he had done so far, but giving his father another chance? Giving his mother another chance? Granted he wasn't banished so far despite having a dragon as a friend, which was a much better situation than he had anticipated even back when he left Berk. He had always expected his father to outright kill him on sight even. True, the man had wanted to banish him… and Astrid apparently… his mother had prevented it.

Frustrated with himself he placed his head on Toothless snout as he thought it over. He couldn't outright forgive them. Though, perhaps forgiving his mother was a tad easier than his father. She really seemed afraid of dragons, heck he probably would have been terrified too if it had happened to him. Still, her not being able to see that the dragon wasn't going to hurt her.

Unconsciously he shook his head. Her mind must have been clouded by fear, he thought as some memories flashed through his mind. Yes, he had experienced that kind of terror and it makes it hard to trust anyone or anything. He let his mind wander over the memories of the day he met his mother, soon realizing that he hadn't exactly been fair to her, mostly to her state of mind. Thor, she thought he was an hallucination.

Then there was his dad who hadn't said a single word after he had suddenly jumped down on the burning map in the great hall. That was some day alright. Well, at least the man should now know he could fight, Hiccup thought with some nostalgic desire to make the man feel proud.

"I'll try," he finally told Toothless, "but don't expect something major. It… it won't be easy for me after everything that happened or hasn't happened."

He pulled back and looked at the black dragon who him a smile.

"That is all I ask," Toothless responded.

"Let's go over to Gobber's, and in the meantime you can tell me everything about this girlfriend of yours," Hiccup teased as he made his way to the barn's doors.

"She wasn't my girlfriend! Just a friend!" Toothless protested, realizing all too well Hiccup was going to out for revenge after he teased him about girls for years. Even when the guy hadn't been able to understand his exact words. This was going to be a long day for the poor dragon.