A/N: I know, I know, it's been a while. Just moved back to Europe from Arkansas, and it was kind of heartbreaking having to say goodbye to everyone. But I'm back! (btw, isn't it funny that more people from Nicaragua looked at this story this past month, than people from my own country; Belgium?)

I hope you like this chapter, because I'm having some difficulty with The Nightmare begins. My brain doesn't seem to want to stick with one idea. Suggestions are always welcome!

Dedicated to Karen, 'cause she's absolutely crazy, and I love her.

Chapter 8: Sweet Dreams – part 2

By morning, I was getting desperate. I had researched lovespells all night, and had eventually fallen asleep on my books a few hours before dawn.

"There are 636 lovespells in these books, and over 150 of them involve a lock of hair," I told Gaius when he woke me up.

"Is there no way we can narrow it down a bit?" he asked, reaching for a book himself.

"I have," I said, maybe a little indignantly. What did he think I'd been doing all night? Doodling? "Look: if I choose this one and it's wrong," I said, pointing to one of the spells in the book in front of me, "Arthur will end up as a toad. And if this one's wrong, Vivian will lose all her hair."

"Olaf might not declare war for that, but she certainly would," Gaius joked. It would have been more funny if the situation weren't so serious.

/*/

Unfortunately, I still had my duties to attend to, so while Arthur was who-knew-where, I was stuck cleaning up his chambers. I was almost finished when someone knocked at the door.

Vivian stood outside, dressed in nothing but a night shift – albeit a very nice, expensive one. "I wish to see Arthur, your master, my lord," she said dreamily and stepped right by me.

"Your what?" I asked incredulously, closing the door behind her.

Vivian flittered into the room – there really wasn't any other word for it. "My heart's delight! Where is he?"

"He's not here, which is a very good thing, I believe," I said, stepping in her way. I had to work very hard not to strangle her – I was very pleased with myself when all I did was glare.

"Than I shall wait," she declared, stepping around me. Did nothing deter this girl?

"I don't think that's a good idea. You're not even dressed!"

Vivian turned to look at me. "My love does not care what I wear, only that I am near… Now fetch him!" she ordered. Gone was the lovey-dovey, dreamy tone of voice.

"I cannot," I said, crossing my arms.

"You will!" she commanded.

"Shan't," I refused.

"As he commands you, I command you!" she insisted. How could anybody even stand to be near her?

"I am not his property, and I certainly don't have to listen to a–" I stopped myself before I said something I'd regret. Taking a deep breath, I told myself to calm down. She was under a spell, she couldn't help it. "I'm asking you to leave."

"I want my love, I need my love, I want to see him now," she said, walking over to Arthur's bed. She crawled onto it and buried her head in his pillows and blankets.

It took everything I had not to kill her where she lay. My hands and jaw were clenched so tight, it hurt. 'Don't kill her, don't kill her,' became a mantra in my head. I'd never thought I could be this jealous.

I was interrupted from my rather violent train of thought by a loud shout. "What was that?" I asked no one in particular, and ran to the door to check. Arthur was walking back to his room from one hallway, and Olaf was storming to it from the other. "Oh, no."

Not in the mood to deal with Vivian's spell-induced, Arthur-centred talk, I quickly whispered a spell to make her fall asleep before she could ask what was going on. Another spell helped me stuff her in the wardrobe.

Olaf was in a rage – so different from how I had seen him the previous day that it startled me. Fortunately, he couldn't find any proof that his daughter was, in fact, in Arthur's room, so he apologised.

"I am so terribly sorry, Arthur, to have disturbed you. I do hope that you will forgive me."

Arthur nodded in reply.

"Merlynn, it's lovely to see you again. I'm sorry for my behaviour," he apologised. I was once again startled. What noble would ever apologise to a mere servant?

"That's all right, my lord. I'm sure that if I had a daughter like yours, my reaction would be quite the same," I lied.

He smiled, took my hand, and kissed it. I blushed. "I bid you good day then, Arthur, Merlynn," the king said, and left the room.

I stole a quick glance at Arthur, and for a moment, I thought I saw something in his eyes – something familiar. But then it was gone just as quickly. He walked behind his dressing screen. "If only the Lady Vivian were in my room. How delightful that would be…"

I barely stood still long enough to hear him draw breath. As soon as the prince was out of sight, I floated Lady Vivian out of the wardrobe and smuggled her back to her room through the servant passages.

/*/

The next time it happened, I was too late. For some insane reason, Arthur had decided to go visit Vivian that night, and had climbed to her room, only to be discovered. I was the first to arrive, and was met by the sight of the two of them kissing passionately. My spells did nothing.

I was quickly followed in by Olaf, Uther, and Alined. I slunk into the shadows, unwilling to let any of them see me, or the tears that had already started to fall.

Olaf was enraged and challenged Arthur to a duel to the death. He accepted, and just had to make it worse by kissing Vivian in front of the three kings.

/*/

Nothing would deter either Arthur or Olaf. Uther tried to reason with both, but neither would listen. I was helpless.

There was no way Trickler's magic was stronger than mine – the man was barely a hedgewizard – but Gaius said that love potions were fickle things. I had to un-enchant Arthur, fast.

I was so desperate that I went to see Olaf before the tournament started, leaving Gwen to help Arthur get ready.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the king's door. "Enter!" he called from within.

"My lord, I wondered if I could speak to you?" I asked, glancing at Olaf's personal servant. The king nodded at the man, who left silently. Olaf was putting on his vambraces, so I stepped forward to complete the task.

"What can I do for you, my dear?" he asked kindly. This Olaf was nothing like the screaming and raving Olaf from the previous night.

"Don't fight Arthur," I implored quietly. This was a very desperate move, I knew, but I had to do something. I couldn't just let Arthur die.

Olaf looked at me curiously. "What's it to you?"

"I don't want to see him hurt," I replied honestly, keeping my eyes on my task.

I could feel the king studying me, but I ignored it. "You really do remind me of someone…" he whispered, almost too quietly for me to hear. I ignored that, too. "I can't withdraw, my girl. He was with my daughter, and has violated her honour. He has to pay the price," he said at a normal volume.

I winced at his reason – it was the reason I still felt like crying – but I didn't let anything slip; or, at least, I thought I hadn't. The King's hand on mine stilled my actions. I looked up.

"You love him." It wasn't a question, but a statement. I avoided the man's gaze, and probably gave him his answer with that action. "I'm sorry, my girl, but I can't withdraw. The only thing about this whole ordeal I apologize for is the hurt it is causing you…" he said kindly. "If he's with someone else, he does not deserve your love."

My eyes watered, but I looked up, straight into the King's face. "But he has it anyway. And I will do anything I can to protect him," I said, finished tying up the vambraces, and slipped out of the room.

As Merlynn left the room, she didn't notice the admiring look in the king's eyes. Yes, she did remind him of someone, and he suspected that there was a reason…

/*/

During the first part of the duel – the quarterstaffs – Arthur kept getting distracted by Vivian. His head wasn't clear, and that caused him to fight much worse than he usually did.

Olaf broke one of Arthur's ribs in the fight, but didn't have a scratch himself. I feared for Arthur's life.

Gaius told me to go find someone who would know what to do. I really didn't want to do that, but I knew I had to. For Arthur.

The Dragon – as expected – laughed at me, or rather at Arthur. "From what you have told me, the spell has captured his heart."

"And his heart is controlling his brain!" I said, once again feeling the hurt sear through my chest.

"There is no magic that can break this enchantment," he replied.

"There has to be."

"It has too great a hold," the Dragon insisted.

"I cannot, and I will not, let Arthur die!" I shouted, anger rising in me. I wasn't going to give up now, not without telling him…

"Patience, young sorceress. The solution lies in a force greater than you or I can understand, a force that had puzzled many minds."

I hated his riddles, I really did. "Please, I have very little time," I pressed. "Just tell me!"

"Why, it is the greatest force of all: love. You must find the person Arthur truly loves," he explained, giving me a look. "But something tells me you won't have far to look."

"You can't mean me? Arthur doesn't – he doesn't…"

"Doesn't he?" the Dragon asked rhetorically. I stared into those golden eyes for a moment longer before running off. It was worth a try.

/*/

By the time I got back to the arena, the second fight was over, and Arthur had sustained more injuries. I took a deep breath, hoped I wasn't wrong about this, and walked into the prince's tent.

"Ah, Merlynn, finally come to wish me good luck? Because I really don't think I need it anymore," Arthur said confidently. He really thought hr could win, even though it was clear to anyone else that he was well on his way to losing.

"No, Arthur, I have not come to wish you luck," I said, willing my heartbeat to slow down.

"Well, that's rather rude."

"Then let me make amends," I said, and rushed forward. I kissed Arthur, pushing him against the central pole of the tent, and poured everything I felt for the prat into that kiss. At first, the prince froze, but after a moment, her responded enthusiastically, winding his arms around my waist while mine went around his neck. It was a simple kiss, but it held so much depth, it took my breath away.

Far too soon, we broke apart, and I searched his face for any sign that the enchantment was gone. He just stared at me blankly for a second before grimacing in pain and holding his ribs. "What am I doing?" he asked, gasping.

I supported him as best I could. "You're in a fight, to the death… You're losing."

"But–"

"There's no time to explain," I said, putting a hand on his cheek. "Just… Live for me, Arthur, that's all I ask right now." I was tempted to lean back in, but we were interrupted by the trumpets signalling the third fight.

I helped Arthur into his armour in silence, worry etched deeply into me. Arthur had three broken ribs and was severely bruised on his shoulder and shield arm; he shouldn't be walking, let alone fighting.

"Merlynn," he said as we stood at the edge of the arena, "If anything should happen to me, take care of yourself. The world may think you're just a servant, dispensable, but… you're not dispensable to me." His hand caressed mine as I handed him his helmet.

Arthur was about to step into the arena when a thought occurred to me. "Arthur. Don't kill him."

The prince frowned at me, but nodded.

In the end, Arthur still won, though Olaf was a formidable opponent. The foreign king got his recompense, and the peace was kept. Arthur spared the other man's life, for which I was grateful. The king might've been far too protective of his daughter, but he was a kind man, and I didn't want him to die.

/*/

That night, when I got back to my room, a single red rose lay on my bed, atop a note. It was from Arthur.

"I thought I'd better deliver it myself this time," he said from behind me. He had been standing beside the door, so I hadn't noticed him.

I fiddled with the rose nervously. I knew that something was about to change, that I had a choice to make here, but I didn't know what it was. It unnerved me.

"I'm sorry… for what I put you through," Arthur said haltingly. He wasn't used to apologizing, and I was touched that he was doing it to me now. "You must believe that my feelings for Vivian were not real." I didn't say anything. He looked so sincere, and his eyes were bright with an emotion I was afraid to name. "I've never loved another," he said, so sure of himself. And that's what undid me.

I bit my lip to stop it from quivering as Arthur stepped forward, brushing a stray lock behind my ear. Against my will, I leaned into his touch. "But one day you will," I managed to say. "You'll find your real princess. One day you'll be King of Camelot, and I cannot be your queen." I fought back the tears that threatened to fall.

I had what every girl dreamed of: Arthur Pendragon standing in front of me, telling me he loved me. And I'd turned him down. I was such an idiot.

"I don't believe that," he said, caressing my cheek. How was I supposed to be able to think when he did that? "I love you, and I know you love me too, don't you?"

I couldn't lie to him. "I do love you, but we can't be together, Arthur."

"Yes we can," he whispered, kissing a wayward tear away. "When I'm king, I can change the law."

"But until then–" I started, but Arthur wouldn't let me finish.

"Until then, we're just going to have to be very careful and not let anybody know."

Hope fluttered in my heart. Could we really…?

"I love you," he repeated, and then leaned down to kiss me. How's a girl supposed to resist that?

/*/

Five minutes later, I had fixed my hair, excused myself to Arthur, and was making my way over to the nobles' wing. Hesitantly, I knocked on the door of the king I wanted to see.

"Come in," Olaf called from inside. I walked in without closing the door. Olaf's servant had everything packed up and was hauling it down to the stables. I stepped aside to let him pass.

"Merlynn," the king said when he noticed me. "What can I do for you?"

I smiled. "Am I not supposed to ask you that, my lord?" The king waved a hand as if to dismiss the comment. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for how things went. Arthur is, too," I added.

Olaf looked at me curiously, as if I were a puzzle he couldn't quite figure out. "I'm not sorry. Arthur has proven himself to be a wise man."

I suppressed a proud smile. Arthur really had grown up a lot since I'd first seen him.

"You've forgiven him that quickly?" Olaf asked, tilting his head a little.

"It wasn't his fault – not that I'm saying that it's your daughter's, but–"

"Then whose was it? Magic?" he asked, only semi-serious. I froze, and recovered just a second too late. He saw my reaction, but only frowned. "You really do remind me…"

"You keep saying that… Who was he?" I asked curiously. This 'Balinor' was rousing my curiosity quite a bit.

The King turned from me and packed a few more items in a small bag. "Balinor was a comrade-in-arms of mine. He was a good man, and had a good head on his shoulders," he explained.

"What happened to him?" I asked quietly.

Olaf didn't answer for a while, and I was about to prompt him again when he finally spoke. "I don't know. The last time I saw him was at the end of the purge, running for his life… I suppose he died."

Realization dawned. "Was he a–" I asked, unwilling to finish the question.

Olaf finally turned around, his solemn grey eyes on mine. "Yes. But it hardly matters now; I highly doubt that he's still alive."

I didn't reply. "But why do I remind you of him?" I asked eventually, curious as to the reason.

Olaf shrugged. "You have the same lively spirit, the same fierce loyalty, and the same kind, blue eyes… I think you would have liked him."

I curtsied. "If you say so, my lord." I excused myself and rejoined Arthur in his room. He had to get ready to see off the various kings.

/*/

As Olaf and Vivian rode off – the last to leave – I was painfully reminded that the spell on Vivian wasn't broken, and I had a nasty feeling that it was going to come back to bite me…

I glanced at Arthur as we stood on the steps in the courtyard. He turned to me, gave me a soft smile, and went back into the castle. That was all the open affection I was going to get, but it was enough. I felt my heart soar. Arthur loved me! And he was willing to act on it, and to keep it a secret in order to be together.

Life, at that moment, was perfect…

A/N: Reviews are love! And I love you guys, so...

Also, ideas for one-shots (or longer) for femMerlin are always welcome and accepted. I've been thinking about making a whole series of femMerlin, where she's not only paired with Arthur, but also Gwaine and Percival (I'm sorry, I don't ship her and Mordred, it's just too weird to me).

And lastly; check out my new FemMerlin community!

Review!