A/N: *peeks out from behind door* hi? Anyone still here? If you are, I'm so, so sorry, and thank you so much for sticking with this, I can't tell you how much it means that so many people are still adding this to their favourite/alert lists.

I've been working on my other femMerlin fic a lot more (which I'm sure I've mentioned in review replies a few times), but this series is kind of dear to my heart. It was the first fic where I actually made it to the sequel, something I'm still not very good at (though I'm getting better). I started this in December 2010, almost 6 years ago. And for the ones who've been with me since the beginning; how the hell have you put up with my erratic updating schedule all this time? Also, thank you so much! All your reviews really do help me write, and motivate me on the days where I think it might be better to leave this one behind.

As it stands, you can thank weirdo102 for this chapter, since it was their review that prompted me to write some more.

Chapter 18: The Lady of the Lake – part 3

As soon as I got back to Gaius' chambers, my uncle started questioning me. "Do you know anything about the girl?"

I pretended not to know anything about it, but I couldn't help the smug smile when I said that I was pleased she'd gotten away.

"They're out hunting for her," Gaius said, studying my face. I busied myself with grabbing a cup and pouring myself some tea. Gaius went on to warn me that if Halig found out who had helped Freya escape, he'd make them pay. And Uther would probably let him. As if I didn't know the risks. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, but I refused to let a little girl be punished simply for existing.

I lied and said that I didn't have anything to do with it, before hurrying out of there, and going to the kitchens. Morgana would need her lunch soon, and Freya was probably hungry, too.

The kitchen staff didn't even question me when I said that Morgana had requested an extra large meal, and heaped on some more sausages. The cook shot me a look, though, so I made sure to get out of there as soon as possible.

Morgana never even noticed that I'd taken a few drumsticks and sausages. I'd hidden them in an empty water pitcher that I clutched to my stomach, hoping Morgana wouldn't get thirsty.

"I saw Arthur today," Morgana said nonchalantly. I immediately stiffened. What had Arthur told her? What had she told Arthur? I'd been avoiding the prince ever since I requested to be Morgana's maid instead, and I had no idea what Arthur thought of it all. "He asked me where you were and why you didn't want to be his maid anymore," Morgana continued.

"Oh?" I said, for lack of anything better.

Putting down her cutlery, Morgana looked at me kindly. "I don't mean to pry, Merlynn, but I'd like to know what I'm lying to Arthur for."

I shrugged, trying desperately to school my features. "It was nothing. Arthur's just a demanding master, and I thought it'd be more fun working for you. And then Gwen said she wanted to be a physician, so…" I trailed off.

Morgana shot me a look. "You're a horrible liar, Merlynn. I don't need you to tell me right now. Just know that I'm here, and you can talk to me. You may be my servant, but you're my friend as well."

I smiled gratefully. "You're a good person, Morgana. Better than I ever could be," I whispered.

Morgana looked sympathetic. "Why don't you go talk to him? I'm sure if you'd explain, he'd understand."

I nodded vigorously. "Of course, that's a great plan, I'll go right away!" I said, already halfway out the door. I had no intention of talking to Arthur, of course, but it was the perfect excuse to go see Freya again.

Morgana said something else, but I didn't hear, I was already dashing towards the lower town. I was so distracted, in fact, that I ran straight into Halig. My heart stopped for a moment as his beady eyes fixed on me. There was something cruel in those eyes, and I wasn't too keen on finding out what it was.

He had two of the guards drag me away, and it was all I could do not to drop the pitcher. Did he know that I was the one who had helped Freya? Would he torture me to find out where she was?

All those thoughts floated around in my head as I was roughly shoved down into a chair in the dungeons. Halig took the pitcher from me and upended it. "It's just the lady Morgana's leftovers," I said quickly.

"Does she know you steal her food?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Not exactly," I muttered.

"Where were you taking it?" he asked.

"Home," I replied, hoping my voice didn't waver.

"Oh, really?" he said sceptically, staring me down. He rested his hands on the armrests of the chair, leaning in close. I could smell his foul breath, and did my best not to make a face. "The druid girl I'm looking for, have you seen her?"

I shook my head, not trusting my voice right then.

"Do you know how much money she's worth to me?" he hissed. "More than your life, so I'm asking you again. Have you seen the druid girl?"

My heart was pounding and I was terrified, but I gathered my courage and stared him straight in the eyes. "No," I said in a clear voice.

He stood back up and unwound a heavy chain. "Hold her," he told the guards, and I could scarcely believe that they obeyed. They had to know that torture wasn't something Arthur would ever allow? But they looked older, like veterans, and I figured they must've worked for Uther before Arthur took over leadership of the army. And I knew exactly the lengths Uther would go to in order to exact 'justice'.

"I think you're lying to me," Halig said in a low, dangerous voice.

"I'm not!" I said, starting to get desperate. I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold my magic back if he hit me. What if I killed him by accident?

"I don't believe you," he snarled, and raised his fist.

"Halig!"

I sagged in relief. I'd never been happier to hear Arthur's voice. He turned the corner and took in the scene. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked, and his voice was too calm. I knew him well enough to know that his anger was simmering just below the surface.

"We caught this girl acting suspiciously, my lord. She could be harbouring the girl, and she's going to tell us where," Halig said, glaring at me. He raised his fist again, but Arthur stopped him.

"Merlynn is my servant, and I trust her implicitly. You have a problem with her, you come to me, do you understand?"

Halig scowled, but offered a shallow bow. "My lord." I got out of the chair and stood against the wall, making myself as small as possible. The two guards walked out, but Halig paused in front of me. "Goodnight, Merlynn. Don't forget your dinner." Though the words were innocuous enough, it had sounded like a threat.

The moment Halig was out of sight, I slumped against the wall. "Thank you," I said.

Arthur glanced down at the floor. "Stealing Morgana's food, are you?"

I bit my lip, knowing what was coming now. I'd tried so hard to avoid him, but there would be no avoiding this conversation now. "I'm sorry," I whispered. It was barely audible, even in the silent dungeon, but I was sure Arthur had heard me. His lips thinned into a line, and he refused to look at me.

"You didn't even tell me."

There was nothing I could say to that. I hadn't even told him that I'd asked for a transfer. Instead, I'd let him find out all on his own, and I felt horrible for that. But I really didn't want to have to explain this to him. It had already broken her heart, there was no need to break his, too. Until now, that is.

Arthur finally looked up, and I was stunned at the intensity I saw there. "Why?"

"You know why," I whispered.

Arthur stepped closer. "No, I don't."

He was getting too close. The last time we'd been this close and not in a forest surrounded by soldiers and dead druids, he'd snogged me against a pillar. I felt myself flush at the thought of that. "I can't… Arthur. You're the Crown Prince."

That should have said it all, but it seemed like Arthur didn't deem it a proper explanation. "I'm aware. What does that have to do with this?"

I found myself wanting to just give in and let him hold me. But I knew that I couldn't. I shouldn't. "As long as your father is king, we can't be together."

"He won't be king forever," Arthur said softly, stepping closer. "Until then–"

I stepped back. "Until then we sneak around? Lie to our friends? Pretend we're indifferent to each other every time there are people around? Besides, your father might arrange a marriage with some princess, and you'll have no choice but to accept. And even if he doesn't, your father is in good health, it might be years before you're king," I said. I was on the verge of tears, but I couldn't let them out, not now.

Arthur pulled me into his arms, and I let him. Just this once. I wanted to feel safe in his arms again, just one last time. "What would you suggest we do, Merlynn?"

I shrugged, unwilling to break the moment. Instead, I buried my face deeper into his chest.

"We could run away together," Arthur said.

He was only half-joking, and it scared me. I pulled away from him, but allowed him to keep his arms around my waist. "What?"

The look in his eyes was too intense, it meant too much. He tucked my hair behind my ear, and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. "Run away with me, Merlynn," he whispered. I almost wish he'd kissed me instead, it would have been less intimate than the tone he'd just used.

I studied his face. My mind was screaming at me to accept, to run away with him, but I knew I could never do that to him. Looking at Arthur now, I knew he'd do it if I asked him to. He would leave everything behind for me. And he would hate me for it. "We can't," I whispered, equally quietly. "Camelot needs you." And I remembered Arthur trying to adjust to life in Ealdor, he would never be happy living in a small farm house.

Resignation settled in Arthur's eyes. He knew as well as I did that it was impossible. "But I love you for asking," I said, before I could stop myself.

Arthur's smile was brighter than anything I'd ever seen. "You love me?"

I just knew I was blushing madly, so I hid my face against his chest again. "What do you think?" I mumbled. I'd admitted it to him all those months ago when he'd been bitten by the Questing Beast, so saying it aloud now wasn't as mortifying as I'd thought. After all, Arthur was my 'true love', wasn't he? The whole debacle with Vivian had proved that.

Tightening his arms around me, Arthur kissed the top of my head. He didn't say it back, but I didn't need him to. I'd known I'd loved him for a lot longer than he had known he had feelings for me.

"So what do we do?" I asked quietly. Here we were, standing in the dungeons, wrapped in each other's arms, but unable to decide what our future was going to be. "I can't serve you every day, knowing we'll never be together, Arthur. That's why I asked for the transfer."

For a moment, Arthur didn't say anything, he just held me. "I can't…" he whispered, before trailing off. I waited. "I can't not be with you."

My heart skipped a beat. "You drive me insane more often than not, but… I can't lose you." That last bit was almost too quiet for me to hear, and it broke my heart. How could I deny this man anything? Especially when it was something I so desperately wanted myself.

"We could tell Morgana," I whispered. "She's been hoping we'll realize we're madly in love with each other for months."

Arthur chuckled. "I can imagine."

"Maybe we could just… take it a day at a time? See what happens?" I said, pulling back just enough to be able to look at him. I knew my eyes were shining, but Arthur looked a little shaky, too, and it only served to endear him to me even more. How much more could I love this man?

"A day at a time," he said, smiling softly.

A clang echoed through the dungeons, and we jumped apart. I hadn't really thought of where we were, and that we could be discovered at any time. "I… I should go," I muttered, picking up the discarded food and rushing out.

I didn't dare look back, or I might not be able to make myself leave…

A/N: Please, please, please, leave a review if you're still with me on this. Arthur and Merlynn have now started to mend their relationship, because I was kind of sick of her avoiding him. He doesn't deserve that :)

That said, I can't really promise another update any time soon, but I'm going to go visit my beta and bestie in the USA at the end of this month, and I'm sure she'll make me write some more.

Review replies:

Quicksilver spy: Here it is! I hope you liked it, and I'm so sorry it took me this long!

Molly: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!