Hey, guys! Another update! I know this story isn't for everyone and is pretty different than my other stories, but I'm so glad you guys are liking it. As I'm writing this story, I'm trying my very best to channel one of those many historical romance novels I snuck around with as a kid (lol). Since this is so different than my usual writing, I feel pretty insecure about this, but it's still fun to try something new. And I'm betaing this, so if there's any errors…. It's because I suck haha. Enjoy!
BPOV:
As soon as I was quite certain he was asleep, I stirred from our bed with images of him making love to me dancing in my head. He felt so divine as he moved inside of me-touching me so intimately that I fear I might walk around with a flush for the rest of my days. The thought of leaving brings me such sorrow; I would give anything to spend a fortnight with him in this bed. However, I am not quite certain that a fortnight would be nearly long enough. I would need years to explore his body, and even then, I am not certain I shall be sated.
Ever so gently, I bend my head down and give his naked shoulder a soft kiss. I cannot help myself. I wanted to feel his naked skin one last time before I part. I stare at his body, which is mostly revealed to my eyes as the sheets are mussed around him, and nearly faint. As quietly as I can manage, I slide on my clothes-which is quite the feat without someone else's help. I do not want Edward to detect me. I do not want him to see me in the crisp light of the morning-for he might recognize me.
I nearly laugh at the thought of him remembering the plain face of one of his many servants. Other than my full chest, I have no features that would be memorable for a man. Mother tells me that I am quite pretty, although, I do not see it. I am not nearly as attractive as the women who stay at the Cullen Manor. Miss. Tanya Denali, in particular, is exceedingly pretty. So pretty that I nearly grow green with envy at the mere sight of her. I am quite certain that Edward shall end up with a woman like that. A woman with beauty, grace, and most importantly, superior birth.
I push those thoughts out of my head. There is no use to wallow in my own self-pity. I have been blessed with one night with Edward-more than I could have ever wished for. I should be happy that I have been given this much. I can hold onto this memory for the rest of my dull and monotonous life. Whenever I lay in bed at night, I will think of his powerful body moving over mine. I will think about how his skin felt as it pressed against mine. I will ponder the way my core ached as his dark eyes looked at my naked body. A melancholy smile tugs on my lips as I consider that the past few hours have most likely been the happiest of my life.
"Goodbye, Edward," I whisper at my still sleeping man. Well, he certainly is not my man, as much as I would like him to be. "Thank you."
I suppress a sob as I turn for the door. On that bed we were lovers-equals. Class, station, and propriety did not matter as we laid naked together. When we were making love with one another, the outside world could not touch us-that is what made the act so beautiful. But now… now I shall face my harsh reality alone and Edward will forget about his desire for me and return to his duty.
Sullen, I exit our room and make my way down the steps, eager to get out of this establishment and find my way home. I did not accomplish what I came here for-having Edward escort me back home-but, I am leaving with something so much more. I am leaving with a small sliver of happiness. As I reach the final step, that happiness seems short-lived for a moment, as a drunken man accosts me as he tries to move me back up stairs. Simply not having it, I slam my foot down upon his much larger one, causing him to shriek in pain. While he is distracted, I dart around him and out the door, relief washing over me as the crisp, night air hits my face.
Keeping my head down and avoiding eye-contact with the many men on the street, I walk as quickly as my feet can take me. The discomfort in my feet is great, but the fear of not making it home is enough to propel me forward without complaint. I cannot rest, I cannot ask for help-for I have heard such wretched tales of young ladies seeking help and being met with fates worse than I could imagine. One lady in particular, who I has never been of my acquaintance, had met a man while she was lost-separated from her friend-and ended up married two months later, after her father found her with child. Bella, you can no longer judge her so harshly. Could not you end up exactly the same as she? At least her father found her a husband-your child would forever be a bastard.
I shiver at the thought of becoming with child. I would be shunned by everyone under Edward's employ, that is quite certain. I would also have to endure seeing Edward constantly, knowing he is the father of my child, and not being able to utter a word to him about it. It would be torture. Perhaps there is a way to ensure that does not happen. As much as I would love a little baby who had Edward's brilliant eyes, I could not afford to care for the child. My family can barely afford the basic necessities as it is.
As soon as I find my shortcut, I breathe a sigh of relief. I will be home soon. I will be with my father and mother and the past few hours will be as if they never happened. I will be safe and sound-back to my normal life. I trudge through the woods, imagining how Edward will react when he wakes up to an empty bed in a whore house. Of course, I doubt he will remember the events of last night considering how intoxicated he was. Thankfully, I will remember enough to satisfy the both of us.
The woods are pitch-black at this time of night, but the darkness does not bother me. I know, soon enough, the sun will rise and illuminate everything. However, I hope I am in my bed by that time, so I can get an hour or two of shut-eye before I have to be up and dressed for work. With that desire in mind, I do my best to make my way through the woods, trying to remember where not to step, since I have taken this particular path so many times before whenever I want to sneak away for a bit.
Thankfully, it does not take long for me to see my family's cottage. I pick up my pace, while remaining careful of where I am stepping-for I don't want to fall and hurt myself, making my presence known while I was so close to being home. As I walk, I try to ignore the painful ache between my legs. My thighs are sore and my core is even worse. Whilst it is not comfortable, I am content with the ache-it is a reminder of Edward being deep inside of me. Hopefully I will feel this ache for a long time to come.
As soon as I reach my family's cottage, I pass the front door, finding that the best course of action would be climbing back into my bedroom through my window. It is, after all, my usual means of escape and re-entry. As I climb back into my room, I nearly trip, forgetting how incredibly sore my legs are after tonight. My heart pounds in my chest as I nearly knock over the pile of books at my bedside, but I breathe a sigh of relief as they merely shake for a moment, before staying in place. I prepare for bed quickly, wanting to get as much sleep as I can manage after the exhausting night I had. The idea of working in a few hours is a daunting one. As I crawl into my bed, snuggling under my thick covers, I smile as I feel the ache in my core. It is almost as if Edward is here with me right now. As I close my eyes, I see him, and as I drift off to sleep I pray that he will be in my dreams.
~A Rogue's Desire~
I wake up with a start as I hear the hustle and bustle coming from outside my window. I must have overslept! Feeling horrified, I jump down from my bed, ignoring my soreness, and quickly get dressed and ready for the day. By the time I make it to the Cullen manor, I am completely out of sorts. I walk around with my head hung low, as if I expect someone to notice a change in me. Will I look different now that I have been with a man? Is that even possible? I suppose that today I shall find out.
"Where have you been, girl?" Mrs. Hurst barks at me as soon as I enter the kitchen.
I grimace, never wanting to be on this woman's bad side. She is almost twenty years my senior, and unmarried. Her sister, Cassandra, passed away several years ago, leaving two children behind. Two young children whom are now in their aunt's, Mrs. Hurst's, care. I pity the children. I can only imagine what it must be like to grow up with such a harsh, militant woman.
"I am sorry, ma'am. I overslept," I reply weakly, keeping my head down as I wait for her to assign my duties for the day.
"Well, do not do it again." She glimpses down at the meal she is preparing as she mutters under her breath, "Bullheaded girl." Finally, she returns her gaze to me and the smirk that tugs at her lips causes my stomach to drop. "How about you go scrub the floors of the entryway. You know how grimy that area gets, Miss Bella."
I suppress a groan. A day of scrubbing on my hands and knees-Mrs. Hurst's form of punishment. I will take it, however, for it means I can avoid conversing with anyone else. A day of solitude shall be rather nice after my excursions last night. Leaving Mrs. Hurst in the kitchen, I make my way down the hallway toward the servant's quarters where I gather everything I need before heading to the main entry way of the manor. I shall start there, and then I shall clean the bottom floor top to bottom until it is time for me to retire. Then I can go to my room and think of Edward… an activity which is sure to be much more stimulating.
As I begin to scrub, I hear the front door swing open and gasp as the cold air tickles my skin. Heat rises to my cheeks as I watch him walk in. I wonder if he will notice me-I wonder if he would remember me if he did notice me. I hang my head, hoping that he will pass me by without a word. When he does, I breathe a sigh of relief, although, my relief is short-lived. Part of me wanted him to see me, realize that I am indeed the girl he made love to the night before, take me into his arms, and tell me how happy he is that he found me. I know that dream is a foolish one, but I cannot help myself. Him wanting me would be a fairy tale, and I have always been a fan of those outlandish, impossible love stories.
I listen as Edward trudges down the hallway toward the main staircase which leads to his room on the second floor. My eyes shoot up to follow his figure before he is out of my sight completely. This small glimpse of him might be the only time I see him today. I have to make the most of it. As he walks up the staircase, I wonder what it would be like to abandon my duties and follow him. I could try my hand at seducing him… that is, if he would still find me attractive while in his right mind. Last night was wonderful… but he was so very intoxicated and I am sure if he knew who I was he would have never slept with me in the first place. He does not love me-he never will. I shall avoid him at all costs because I am sure my heart cannot take his rejection. I close my eyes and begin to scrub the floor with all of my might, eager to forget about Edward and the way he already owns my heart.
A/N: I think my next chapter will be in Edward's POV. If you want to, feel free to join my facebook group (The Highlander Princess's Clan) because I will be posting teasers for this story (even though it's a rewrite). And Valentine's Day is tomorrow! I hope no matter what you do tomorrow, it's extremely fun! Until next time. Please review :).