I am so, so thrilled that you guys are enjoying this story. It's really fun and different for me to write. I know it's far from perfect, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Please review!
BPOV:
My muscles ache and my mind has not been at ease since my night with Edward. He is in my dreams… in my every thought. I could not forget him if I tried with all of my might. My ache for him is so strong, it almost hurts, because I know my love will never be requited. I have grown up at this estate and never has he noticed me. Whenever he has looked in my direction, it was as if he were staring straight through me. What am I but a servant? I am nobody of importance. He is surrounded by wealth, beauty, and luxury. So, I can understand why he would not look twice at me. I hang my head in defeat.
My day is done and I need an escape. I cannot stand being in this estate knowing he lurks around here as well. I cannot bear the thought of running into him now. What if he recognizes me? What if he feels ill knowing he made sweet love to someone who is so utterly beneath him? I cannot bear the thought. Feeling weak and defeated, I sneak through the first floor of the estate toward the library-my one great escape. I need a good book; a story to get my mind off of the real world. I want to read about a character whose life is far more exciting than my own. It is fairly easy to find a book fitting this description, considering my life is so monotonous and mundane. I want to read about romance and adventure-two things I will never personally experience.
I know I am quite pessimistic for my age, but life has never been too kind to me. I was born into a life that is set in stone. I cannot dream about marrying well-not in my position-and that is my only escape from my station. I am destined to watch everyone above me find their happy ending, while I follow them around meeting their every need. I am not bitter, although, I may seem so at times. I am merely a dreamer. I am someone whose imagination runs rapid as I go about my work everyday. I dream of a very different life for myself. A life where I had many friends and went to countless dances and balls. A life where I had many suitors asking for my hand and my biggest problem was deciding which one of them to choose for a husband. A life where my mother was not ill and my father was not constantly restless from work. A life where I was happy… truly happy. A life with Edward.
I push those melancholy thoughts out of my head as I push the doors open to the first floor library. It is grand, but not as grand as the Cullen's private library upstairs. I cleaned the room on several occasions and found it to be the most beautiful room I have ever seen. This one is beautiful as well, with an impressive collection of volumes-old and new. As soon as I close the door to the library behind me, I inhale. Smiling at the scent of old pages, spirits, and leather furnishings. The smell of books is the most pleasant smell in the world. What I would not give to curl up in a chair with a cup of tea and a pleasing book. I could not think of a better way to spend an afternoon.
Running my fingers alone the spines of volumes as I pass them by, I make my way through the library toward the back corner, which houses the majority of my favorite novels. The novels there are filled with romance and intrigue. I have read each one. I have read some of my favorites multiple times. Today, I pick a volume filled with different fairy tales. Every time I read this volume, I am reminded of the way my mother would read to me by the fireplace growing up. She would tell me these fantastical stories and I always believed them to be real. Of course, this was when I believed some prince would come and whisk me away. Some of the tales she told me where very dark and even frightening, but all of them described a world that was so far from my reach I found them absolutely fascinating.
I grab the volume off of the shelf and tuck it under my skirts before sneaking back out of the library. I have never been caught, but I do not want to take any chances. The servants have their own small selection of books, but I have read them many times over, so, once I hit three and ten I decided to sneak books from the Cullen's library. I am sure my father would give me quite the lashing if he found out, but he has not, thank goodness, and I will make sure he never will. I creep down the hallway toward the back doors leading to the gardens of the estate. Past the gardens and into the woods there is a clearing with a small pond. It is my favorite place in the entire world. No one ever goes there. It is like my own slice of heaven.
I came across it accidently when I was sneaking around the grounds a few years ago. I had been hiding from my father at the time and tried to find a place where no one seemed to know about. By the pond there is a tall tree, which I sat in for hours as I hid from my father all those years ago. Now, I sit under its shade as I read my books by the pond. Some days, when I am feeling very adventurous, I take my clothes off and swim in the pond. Before my night at the brothel with Edward, swimming in the pond was the most adventurous thing I had ever done. Maybe today I will swim, before the weather gets too cold and I will be stuck in doors until spring has sprung.
I hike through the gardens, dodging Mrs. Hurst before she spots me, and make my way to the woods. As soon as I am out of the sights of the rest of the servants, I can finally breathe. I take a deep breath and take a long look at the sky. Judging by the sun's placement, I have a few more hours of light before I have to return home. Perfect.
Around a half hour later, I reach my special tree by the pond. I plop to the ground and kick off my shoes, before removing the book from my skirts. Under the shade of my favorite tree, I begin to read. After my rendezvous with Edward, I find it impossible to concentrate. My mind drifts to the way his hands felt on my naked body, the way his impressive length felt as he rocked inside of me… Closing my eyes, I trial my hand lazily up and down the curves of my body, pretending my fingers were Edward's. It is easy to get carried away as I allow my fingers to drift up my skirt. I want to touch myself, but dare I do it out in the open? I flush with embarrassment at the thought. Needing to cool off and clear my mind, I stand up and strip. Perhaps a swim could do me some good.
As soon as I walk out into the water, I let out a sigh of relief. I swim out until my feet no longer touch the muddy ground and close my eyes, enjoying the way the water feels as it soothes my sore muscles. The weather is chilly enough to cause my nipples to pebble into tight buds and a shiver runs down my spine as I lean back and lay atop the water. I allow my body to float, enjoying how free I feel in this moment. In this moment nothing in the world matters. In this moment, I can just be myself. My thoughts drift back to Edward and this time, I don't push them away. I relish in them as my body drifts atop the water.
A stirring in the trees disturbs me, and my eyes shoot open as the noise comes closer and closer. Someone must be here! I sit up so fast my entire body is quickly submerged in the water. I nearly drown out of shock before I gain my wits and kick toward the surface, which is only a few inches above my head. I sputter about for a moment, before my eyes focus and I look in the direction I heard the noise coming from. What I see nearly makes me want to drown. I flush with embarrassment. It is him! Edward is here!
I cannot very well hide. I eye my clothes, wondering if I have time to make a run for them. I do not want him to see my completely nude. Now that I am no longer in that brothel with him, I cannot play make believe. I cannot pretend to be someone else-someone who is not his servant. At that brothel, when we were making love, we were nearly equals. Now… Now we are anything but.
He is pulling on his cravat as he enters the clearing, and for a moment I am certain he does not notice my presence. However, as soon as his eyes find my abandoned clothing under the tall tree, they search for the source in which they came from. As soon as his eyes move, I duck in the water. A silly reaction, really, since I will have to come up for air eventually. I internally chide myself for a moment, before rising my head from the water and looking at him. His eyes meet with mine in an instant. I wonder if he recognizes me. I push myself up a bit more so my entire face is visible from him, but everything south of my neck is still hidden by the water.
His eyes widen. I cannot tell if they widen due to shock or recognition or both. He stares at me for a long time. Part of me hopes he recognizes me, while another part hopes he forgets about our night together entirely. I cannot imagine what it will be to see him on the estate after he realizes how intimately we know each other. Mortification fills me and I want to dart from the water and hide away forever.
"Do I know you?" he calls out as he steps toward the water.
What should I say in return? I cannot very well tell him of our short affair, not if he does not remember it himself. Why bring up something so… so… Well, it does not matter what exactly it was. It was mortifying and sensational at the same time. Well, the mortification did not set in until this very moment. Before this moment, I could only look back and fantasize every time my thoughts would fill with the memory of his arms.
"No answer?" he questions with a smirk. "Can you not speak?"
If he is trying to be a bastard, he is doing a bloody brilliant job at it. I shift back and forth in the water, growing incredibly antsy as I look at him. Just saying something, Bella. What are you going to do? Pretend to be a mute for the rest of your life?
Perhaps I shall tell him the truth. I shall tell him that I work for his family's estate. The truth would be simple. I can manage that.
"I do not think we have met," I burst out. So much for being honest with him. Although, it was not as if I were honest with him before. I did not admit who I was when I slept with him.
"Truly? You seem so familiar… but I just cannot seem to put my finger on where I have seen you before," he replies as he taps his chin with his finger as if he were in deep thought.
He seems so at ease today-so playful. He does not act like a man who has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Perhaps today he managed to escape a run-in with his father. Every time they talk, Edward always seems to walk away upset. Not that I know everything about him, of course, but I do happen to see things.
"I am certain I would remember you if we had met." What the devil has gotten into me? Dare I flirt with this man?
"Well, I am glad we are meeting, now. What is your name, little one?"
I feel my skin flush under his gaze. As he stares at me, I realize I am completely nude in the water. I wonder if he can see that from where he is standing. I wonder if he sees the way my nipples pucker as he looks at me. My breasts feel heavy and my core aches for him as I stare across the water at his frame. I wish he could join me-although, I know this charade cannot last forever. He is going to find out the truth sooner or later.
"Isabella." I give him my full name, since no one really calls me that around the estate. My mother calls me "Isabella" when she is cross with me. Besides that, I am always "Bella" or "Miss. Swan".
"Isabella. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he replies with a wolfish grin. "Do you desire company? You look rather lonely."
My skin flushes further. Company? It is not proper… but nothing about our relationship has been proper thus far. Before I can check myself, I am nodding in reply.
A/N: I'm going to be working very hard on this story until I can hit "complete". This one has been around for a while, so I'm going to be happy when I can finish it for you guys.
On that note, one of my stories "Scream Queen" is up for the top 10 fics of January, so if you have the time, please go vote for it! Also, I completed three fics in 2017 (my very first year on fanfiction) and they're all up for the top ten fics of 2017! It would really mean the world to me if you guys can vote!
See you guys next update. :).