A/N: Regina and Little John have a talk about her life with Robin and Roland.
Day 8 cont.
Regina wrings her hands as she anxiously sits on a long near the campfire. The sun is rising but she'd barely slept a wink all night. Instead she'd remained by the campfire, eyes trained on the tent with Robin and Roland inside.
She'd wanted to come but couldn't help the small twang of relief in her chest when Robin had said that he'd rather go alone. She loved Roland but she'd done nothing but fail him since his father died. The fact that she hadn't even said goodbye to him had been haunting ever since she'd returned to Storybrooke to find him gone. She couldn't imagine that his heart held much love for her after that.
"Rough night, your majesty?"
She rolled her eyes when she heard a gruff voice coming from behind her. John appeared with a small pot in hand, ready to get breakfast started. His gaze carried a poorly hid hint of venom as walked past her toward the remains of the campfire.
"I'm fine," she coldly assured him. Not that you care, she silently added.
John looked over toward the tent with a grimace. "They still in there?"
She nodded. "Haven't left all night. I'm sure they're just catching up."
"Of course," mumbled John. He clenched his jaw for a moment as if silently contemplating something. Finally he blew out a huffing breath and turned to her. "This thing that's happened to him… it's not good is it?"
Regina felt her chest constrict and sucked in a deep breath. "Depends on your point of view I suppose."
"And what's yours?"
Her eyes dropped down to the forest floor remaining silent.
John visibly gulped as he stood above her. "Is he dying again?" he croaked out.
Regina pressed her lips together before answering. "I don't know. All I do know is that his time back is limited."
Her voice was grave and low as she spoke. Robin's… condition had been all she could think about since his return but there was still so little she knew about it. What did the countdown mean? Did it mean he would fade away, slipping from her grasp little by little? Or would he just simply be gone at the end of the year, vanished without a trace? She didn't know. All she knew was that he wasn't permanent.
And it was killing her.
She saw John clench his jaw again, his eyes flickering over to the tent a flash of sorrow shining for a moment before he turned back to her. "How much time does he have left?"
"358 days," she immediately replied. The number was in the back of her head. Always.
"And he knows this?" asked John.
She narrows her eyes at him. "Of course he knows John. Some people like to share important information that affects others."
It's his turn to glare now. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what it means," she softly growls, staring up at him with angry eyes. "You took him away John. You didn't even tell me you were leaving. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."
John shook his head at her. "If I allowed you to say goodbye you never would've let him go."
A soft, hurt sound comes from her throat. "I loved him John."
"I know," said John. "But after all that your love has cost Robin how could you ever think I would give you his son?"
His words aren't harsh or angry… just truthful. And somehow that hurts more than anything else.
"Roland never would've been safe if he was with you," he continues. "I'll admit that over the past year or so you and Roland had discovered a bond with one another. But make no mistake, I was the one who was there the night he was born. I saw his first steps, heard his first words and helped Robin raise him along with everyone else in this camp. And we cared far too much to risk his safety just to keep you happy. I won't apologize for that." His gaze flicked away from hers in shame before adding, "Even if it did break his heart at the time."
Tears had begun to well up in her eyes by this time. She'd often wondered just how the Merry Men could leave with Roland without consulting her, without offering her that last goodbye. Resentment had built up inside of her because of it. But sitting here listening to John's emotional rant she's transported back to that day so many years ago when she'd stood on her front porch and demanded for Emma to leave town. The merry men were Roland's family. They'd been there for him far longer than she had, and were more qualified to know what he needed. And though John's words were hard to hear she couldn't bring herself to disagree them. Her presence in Robin and Roland's life had been a destructive one. She couldn't refute that claim if she tried. They'd suffered through so much simply for making the mistake of being in her proximity.
And he was right.
If she'd been there to say goodbye she never would've let him go.
She clenched her jaw and took a moment to compose herself before speaking again. "Well be that as it may John his father has returned. He wants Roland back in Storybrooke with us and I expect you won't fight him on that."
John shook his head. "I won't deny a dying man his last wish."
She scowled at him. "Is that supposed to be funny?"
"Does it look like I'm laughing?" he shot back with a glare. Letting out a frustrated breath, he turned his gaze back to the tent. He thinks of the two people inside with a heavy heart. All the heartbreak they'd had and all the pain still to come for them both.
John always had very strong feelings about Robin's decision to court Regina. He never refrained from warning him that it was a bad idea but now, knowing that his best friend's life hangs in the balance, he can't think of another person he trusts more to save him. If anyone could save Robin's life it was her.
He pinches the bridge of his nose before speaking again. "I've seen you save dozens of people Regina. Just tell me you're at least going to try and add Robin to the list." he says.
The use of her actual name has her staring at him with wide eyes.
"Save him," he urges. "Please."
He's begging her. Not ridiculously so. No tears but she can hear it in his voice, how much he wants her to do the impossible. And despite her doubts she nods her head.
"I will. I promise."
He searches her face, perhaps for a lie or some other form of trickery but finds none. She means what she says. He's certain of it.
He gives her one small nod before walking away, leaving her alone again.
She sits there completely silent, thinking over what she just promised him. Could she actually save Robin's life? Ensure that he's here for years to come and not just days?
She doesn't know but… she will find out. Sitting there on that log determination rises up inside of her. She will use all the magic she has, search through every spell book she owns and utilize every tool in her arsenal and she will save Robin's life.
This is her second chance with the man she loved and she will be damned if she lets him go without a fight.
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