A/N: I thought for sure that someone would call it out when they figured out which canon character Lexi and her little brother were. If you know it, put it in the comments. Imaginary points to the first person who gets it!
Chapter 10 - Friendship
Marlene and Lexi paraded through the front door of Seventh Heaven at lunch time. They had barely made it past the doormat before Marlene realized that something was very wrong.
Cloud, Tifa, Denzel, and Niko sat at the table, ready for lunch, but no one was talking. No one looked up at the girls who had just noisily entered the bar.
Niko was subdued for the first time since he'd arrived. Cloud's eyes were almost sparking with anger. Denzel sulked moodily. Tifa was looking warily from one man to the next, begging for information with her eyes.
The girls hesitated. They could have cut through the tension with a knife. Luckily, Marlene was freshly sharpened.
"Hello everyone! Guess what I learned to do today?"
Four pairs of eyes reluctantly rolled over to Marlene. Four pairs of eyes widened dramatically. Tifa jumped up from her chair. "Marlene! You look…" She shook her head in amazement. "What did you do today?"
"I learned to knit!" Marlene cried happily.
Tifa blinked in surprise. "That's great sweetie, but I meant…you look wonderful! What…what happened to you?"
Marlene looked perplexed. "I dunno. I just feel really good today."
Tifa strode over and put her hands on Marlene's cheeks, tilting back her head to get a closer look in the light. She stroked her hand over her dark locks, feeling the softness that wasn't there earlier that morning. "But you…" Tifa shook her head and smiled tearfully. "Oh well. Come and eat, girls."
"Thanks, but I actually need to get home," Lexi said. "See you tomorrow, Mars?"
"Yep!" Marlene chirped. "Bye!"
Lexi studiously avoided looking at anyone the table, but she grinned and waved to Marlene and Tifa before letting herself out. Tifa led Marlene over to her seat and sat her down, as if afraid the girl would disappear if she stopped touching her.
"Tifa, I'm not going to break," she said in exasperation.
Tifa petted her hair one last time before returning to sit in her own chair across the table.
"You look like you gained 10 pounds since this morning!" Denzel blurted.
Marlene looked at him haughtily. "That's not a very proper thing to say to a girl."
Denzel rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean, Mar. You look really good. Did Lexi give you some kind of medicine?"
She dumped some macaroni noodles onto her plate. "Nope."
"What about something you ate?" Tifa asked. "Some new kind of vegetable or root?" She was always looking for "natural" ways of healing – medication was a last resort for her, especially after the effects the ether had had on her.
"Nope," Marlene repeated.
She continued to deny that she had done anything new as the others continued questioning her. At the same time, she kept an eye on Niko. He had shown initial interest in her improvement, but something was different about him. Something had changed. Something big had happened while she was out, and she intended to find out what it was.
She watched the adults carefully as they finished lunch. Just as she expected, Cloud quietly asked Niko if he could cover for him for a few minutes at the construction site. Marlene knew exactly what that meant. Cloud and Tifa were going to talk.
Unfortunately, it was Denzel's job to do the dishes, so they wouldn't be using the kitchen for their chat. That left the bar area as the most likely place for their talk, and Marlene didn't have a good listening post when they talked in there. But, considering the gravity of their expressions, she decided that it was worth the risk of getting caught.
While the others were still at the table, she got up and casually walked behind the bar. Then, she calmly sat down on the floor, hiding herself from view from all angles except if someone actually came behind the bar. She would have no legitimate excuse if someone did see her, though, which was a risk she didn't usually take.
She heard Niko get up and leave. Even his walk sounded different. His steps were hesitant. He lacked the brash confidence that she had come to expect from him, and it only affirmed her decision that this was too important to miss.
"Where did Marlene go?" Denzel suddenly asked.
Behind the bar, Marlene cringed.
"She probably went up to take her nap," Tifa said.
Marlene held her breath, waiting for someone to disagree, but no objection came. The clattering of dishes told her that they were done eating and bringing them to the kitchen. She scooted forward to see through the thin space at the side of the bar. A moment later, Cloud and Tifa came back through the door.
"Cloud, tell me what's going on. Why is everyone acting so weird?" Tifa demanded as she pulled out her chair.
Cloud sat down with a sigh. "Denzel is…something's wrong with him, Teef. I think he…I don't know."
Tifa sat down, too. "Complete sentences, Cloud," she said with a trace of irritation.
"I don't even know where to start," Cloud said, sounding frustrated.
"Just tell me what happened today. We can try to figure out the 'why' from there."
"Ok," Cloud said, rubbing at his face. "Well, Niko asked if I could show him how to use a sword. So we left a little early for lunch and came back here to the training room. Denzel must have heard us, and he came storming in and challenged Niko."
Tifa scoffed. "And you let him?"
Cloud held up his hands in the universal 'I don't know' gesture. "I thought maybe he wanted to show off a little, you know? He wanted to join the WRO once. Niko's a soldier, and he's not that much older than Denzel, so…I don't know. I thought maybe he admired him."
Marlene did a mental face palm. How was it possible that Cloud could be so bad at reading people? Anyone could see that Denzel detested the guy.
Tifa pressed her lips together, but chose not to point this out to Cloud. "Ok, so what happened next?"
Cloud leaned back in the chair. "It seemed ok at first. Denzel was being pretty aggressive, but Niko was managing to block. But then Denzel backed him to the wall and disarmed him and then…" He paused, struggling with the memory of the next part. "I think…I think he would have… well, he looked like he was about to stab him."
Marlene gasped out loud, then clamped her hand over her mouth. Luckily, Tifa had reacted vehemently, covering the tiny noise from behind the bar. "That's ridiculous, Cloud! Maybe he was just trying to scare Niko or something. They don't…get along very well, I know, but I've never seen Denzel lose control of his temper."
Cloud raised his eyebrows. "Really? The kitchen?"
Marlene winced. They hadn't even seen his manic assault on the practice dummy.
"Ok, fine," Tifa conceded. "But that's a whole lot different from trying to kill someone."
Cloud nodded, rubbing his chin absently. "Maybe he wasn't going to. But he had this look in his eyes—"
The kitchen door flew open from the other side. "Tifa, do you want—" Denzel's eyes flickered between Cloud and Tifa. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt…"
"It's ok," Tifa said, standing up. "We were just about to leave anyway." She shot Cloud a significant 'We'll talk later' look.
Marlene slumped down in her hiding place in the bar. She didn't know if she'd be able to overhear later.
Marlene and Lexi were sprawled out on the sun-warmed, rubbery material of the playground, in the park that had now become their place.
"Hey Lexi?" Marlene asked.
"Hmm?" Lexi's eyes were closed. She looked like she was utterly relaxed, and Marlene felt a little bad, knowing that she was about to ruin it.
"You know that thing you do, when you sing to me and I feel better?"
"Mm hmm," Lexi said.
"How does it work?"
Lexi opened her eyes, squinting against the sudden brightness of the sun, and rolled her head toward Marlene. "What do you mean? I guess it just relaxes you and it makes you feel happier."
Marlene rolled to her side and propped herself up on one arm. "Lexi, you're either lying to me or to yourself. You know that song is doing something to heal me. You knew it would do something for the man in the town hall, too."
Lexi sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on top. She stared off into the distance. "I don't really know," she said softly. "I just got this really strong urge to do it. It seemed like it was doing something, but I thought it was all in my head. Like, it was just a coincidence and I was fooling myself."
Marlene shook her head. "It's definitely doing something." She sat up and crossed her legs, facing Lexi. "What does it feel like?"
Lexi gave her a strange smile. "Actually, it's really weird. I get this tingling feeling down the right side of my neck and arm, like right where my Geostigma used to be."
That gave Marlene pause. Could it be related to her Geostigma? She shook it off. She didn't see how it could be. And anyway, Aerith had cured it. "When did it start happening?" she asked.
"I guess the first time was about 3 years ago. I saw this sick little boy. He reminded me so much of Joey, and all I could think about was making him feel better. It was like I was drawn to him. And I knelt down next to him, held his hand and sang that song, and he just stopped crying. This smile came over his face and he just relaxed and closed his eyes. He looked so peaceful. I didn't know if he got better or anything, though. I never saw him again. I thought it just calmed him."
Marlene chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "And when you sing to me? Do you feel drawn to me, too?"
"Sometimes," Lexi shrugged. "Like the times that you were really upset, I felt it really strongly. But then I started just trying it on my own. I've been humming or singing around you, and it doesn't feel the same, but I still thought it might help. And then, when nothing happens for a while, I start to get convinced that it's all in my imagination."
"It's definitely helping," Marlene said. "It just not as drastic as those other times."
Lexi picked at a piece of rubber. "I've been trying it with my mom," she admitted softly. "It didn't seem to help at first, but after that day…that day when she found you in Joey's room…I sang to calm her down. And after that, she seemed so much better. She doesn't get her migraines nearly as often, and she doesn't talk about Jojo all the time. She doesn't act like he's still alive." She looked up, her eyes wide, needing someone to understand. "It feels like there's something there, Marlene. There's something inside of me, but I don't know what it is and I don't know how to control it."
Marlene gave her an encouraging smile. "Maybe you just have to experiment a little bit. See what works and what doesn't."
Lexi laughed. "Will you let me experiment on you?" she joked.
"Of course!" Marlene said sincerely, grabbing on to her hand. "You know, I didn't think I would ever get better. I was just gonna be this weakling for the rest of my life. But since I've been spending time with you, since I've started feeling better, I have hope again. So, yeah. I'll do whatever it takes to help you figure it out."
Lexi beamed and got to her feet. "Ok, partner. We'd better get back for lunch." Marlene was still holding her hand, so she pulled her up at the same time. They walked back to the wagon together. Lexi picked up the handle, but Marlene just looked at the wagon thoughtfully.
"You know what? I don't think I need the wagon anymore. I'm gonna walk!"
Lexi's grin lit up her face. "That's awesome, Mars! I'll pull it anyway, and if you get tired along the way, you just hop in."
Marlene was so relieved that, for once, she didn't have to convince someone that she could do something. In fact, she felt like she could do anything.
Once again, the mood of Seventh Heaven was tense and somber when the girls walked in. Tifa looked up and forced a smile. "Hi, girls. Are you staying for lunch today, Lexi?"
Marlene looked around. Cloud and Denzel sat at the table, competing to see who could look the most sullen. "Where's Niko?" she asked.
"He's uh, he's eating with Jerry today," Tifa said, failing her attempt to make it sound normal.
"Sure, I'll stay for lunch Mrs…Tifa," Lexi answered.
The five of them sat down around the table – three girls trying to make conversation and two boys scowling through the whole meal.
"Marlene, you're really starting to look better!" Tifa exclaimed.
Marlene smiled. "It must be your shakes, Tifa. I know you work hard to make them, and I really appreciate it."
Tifa looked taken aback. "Oh," she said with a flush spreading across her face. "Well, you know I'd do anything to help you get better, Mar."
Tifa was in an exceptionally good mood after that. She chattered on about the reconstruction and how much faster it was going now that the WRO soldiers were there to help. Denzel's scowl deepened even farther.
Her euphoric mood seemed to bleed over to Cloud, though, who was watching her with a slight smile. She was practically glowing, and it seemed like whatever was bothering him (issues with Denzel, probably, but there was really no limit to the number of things Cloud was capable of brooding over) was pushed to the back of his mind for the time being.
A familiar dull thunk sounded outside of the bar – the mail had arrived. Cloud went out to get it, leaving Tifa to continue her story. He came back in with an open letter in his hand, reading as he walked. His eyes scanning across the page, he closed the front door of the bar with his foot.
"Hey, guys, looks like school is restarting on Monday," he announced, looking up from the letter as soon as Tifa took a breath. "The building isn't fully repaired, but we've got all the main classrooms cleaned up."
Denzel muttered under his breath, but Marlene and Lexi were practically bouncing in their seats.
"Yes! Finally!" Marlene cried, clapping her hands together.
"Ooh I can't wait!" Lexi agreed. Then her face shifted into a frown. "Oh, except I never finished that Physics report."
Marlene laughed. "You still have the weekend," she pointed out.
"Yeah," Lexi said sadly. She didn't seem quite so excited anymore, now that she'd remembered that part of school.
"Hey, when you do have your lunch period?" Marlene asked Lexi.
"Fourth period. When's yours?" Lexi asked.
"Oh. Fifth," Marlene said, disappointed. "I guess we won't be able to sit together at lunch." Since they were a few years apart, they didn't cross paths often, but there was only one school in Edge and several grades shared the same lunch period.
"That's too bad," Lexi said with a sigh. "Well, thanks for lunch, Tifa! It was great, as always. I better get home and get to work on that report."
Marlene grinned. "Good luck! Maybe later we can work on that other project together."
Lexi perked up a bit as she slipped her feet into her shoes by the door. "Yeah! Sounds great. Later, Mars!"
"Later!" Marlene waved. They had come to an agreement not to tell anyone else about Lexi's ability for now, at least until they had a better idea of what it was and how it worked. Adults had a tendency to scoff at the fanciful ideas of children when they didn't have proof.
Marlene spun back around after seeing her friend off, and instantly the smile was wiped off her face. Denzel had already skulked off into the kitchen with the dirty dishes. Cloud and Tifa were having an intense whispered discussion at the table, and they looked up at her with that we're-gonna-say-no expression.
Marlene crossed her arms. "Don't you dare tell me I can't go back to school," she ordered.
Tifa stood and held her arms out. "Honey, we're just not sure if you're well enough yet." She took two steps toward the girl, but Marlene backed away.
"Please, Tifa!" she begged. "You don't understand how badly I need this. And it's not like I'm getting better just sitting here!"
Tifa just shook her head. She looked pained.
"Cloud?" Marlene turned her puppy dog eyes on him, but she didn't have much hope. Cloud always sided with Tifa.
Except this time, he hesitated. "We'll talk about it more tonight before we decide for sure," he said, glancing over at Tifa. "We both need to get back right now."
Marlene's eyes dropped as she fought back the lump in her throat. It wasn't fair! She was bored out of her mind at home. She actually liked learning, and now that she had a friend there, she could look forward to seeing her at school.
She felt a warm hand on her arm. It was the kind of heat that could only come from Cloud and his mako-thick blood. She looked up and found compassion in his eyes.
He gave her a tiny smile. "We'll figure it out. Ok?"
Marlene nodded and stiffened her spine. She still had a chance to convince them.
The gentle look on his face changed to irritation when Denzel's angry music started pouring out from the kitchen. He gave Marlene one last affectionate rub on the head before going out the front door after Tifa.
With a sigh, she turned and walked into the kitchen. Denzel didn't even look up, but she didn't really need him to get the shake for her. She got her own glass and opened the fridge. There in front was the pitcher of Tifa's most recent batch. Her hand shook a little from the weight of the full pitcher, but she could tell she was getting stronger. She set the glass and the pitcher on the counter behind her before shutting the fridge.
"Is that even doing anything?" Denzel asked dryly as she poured.
"What?" Marlene had been startled to hear him speak at all, and he was talking even louder than usual to be heard over the music. Taken together, the question sounded pretty harsh in her ears.
"Why do you bother drinking that? Just dump it out. Tifa will never know."
Marlene scowled and looked closely at Denzel. She couldn't understand why he was so angry lately. The boy who had held her and comforted her all night long when she was scared, who agreed to sit at a little girl's tea party, even though he thought they were 'so dumb', who made up sweet stories of knights and princesses to help her sleep, would never even have thought of such a thing.
"I mean, can you honestly tell me there's a good reason to keep drinking those things?" he asked scornfully.
The light caught his eye strangely, and for a moment they looked more green than blue, but she blinked and it was gone. She shook her head. "I don't know. They might be doing something."
Denzel scoffed. "Don't be so naïve, Marlene."
He went back to his dishes, violently scrubbing at a pan, and Marlene took her drink up to her room. She knelt in front of the wall next to her bed, looking for the faint outline of a drawing he had made for her long ago. She traced her fingers over the slight indentations in the wall from his pencil. Denzel was a really good artist, even back then, and the princess kicking the dragon's butt couldn't be mistaken for anyone but Tifa. He had drawn it to cheer her up after a particularly tough weekend. Where did that boy go?
Knock, knock.
With a sigh, Denzel turned off his music and sat up on the bed. "Come in."
He knew this talk was coming. He knew he would have to explain his actions from the day before. He was grateful that Cloud had waited an extra day before approaching him – whether to allow himself or Denzel to cool off, he didn't know – but he still had no idea what he was going to say.
Cloud came in and closed the door. He leaned against it, crossing his arms, saying nothing, just dissecting Denzel with his disturbingly bright eyes. He wondered if Cloud knew how intimidating he looked, standing like that with the muscles of his arms bulging against his chest. He assumed he did, since it was the way he always confronted someone. The thing was, to Denzel, those arms had always meant security. Even now, knowing he was in trouble, they only made him feel safe.
He was suddenly flooded with shame. Cloud had entrusted him with the hard-earned knowledge of years of training by teaching him those skills, and he had abused them. "Look, I…I didn't mean to let it get so out of hand. I wouldn't have hurt him. I just…"
"Are you sure?" Cloud asked softly.
That was not what Denzel had expected. Was he that transparent? The truth was, he wasn't sure. "I—I don't know. That's what I tell myself but…" Of all the things Denzel didn't imagine happening in this discussion, he was most unprepared for the tears that sprang to his eyes.
Cloud came and sat at the end of the bed. "Denzel, tell me what you felt like when that was happening."
Denzel blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. He searched deep within himself. He sensed that the answer was important somehow. "I felt like…it was just this rush of anger. I just wanted to give him what he deserved."
"And why did he deserve that?" Cloud asked. "What did he do to deserve being…hurt like that?" Even Cloud couldn't bring himself to say what Denzel might have done.
"He…" What did he do? I thought he hurt Marlene, but he didn't. He's arrogant, but is that enough of a reason to… A burst of anger spread through his body. They all like him better than you. He's stronger. He makes them laugh. Cloud was training him and he even let him sleep in his office. They were replacing you, Denzel.
Cloud sat up straight and grabbed Denzel's shoulders. "Denzel? What happened just now?"
The anger faded away. "What?"
"Something changed. Your eyes were…" Cloud shook his head. "What were you feeling just now? What were you thinking?"
"I—I was angry. Thinking about Niko. What about my eyes?"
"How did you feel when you were fighting Niko?" Cloud pressed.
"I don't know," Denzel said, frowning. "It was just really overwhelming anger. I felt…out of control."
Cloud's eyes were unfocused, moving rapidly, putting something together in his head. "No…it can't be. She fixed it. It's gone."
"Cloud?"
Cloud stood up suddenly, releasing his grip on Denzel. "Denzel, I don't want you to have any access to weapons or materia for now."
"What?" Denzel stood too. "What do you mean, 'for now'? For how long?"
"Until I can get something figured out." Cloud grabbed Denzel's materia box and Skoll. Without another word, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Denzel in stunned silence.
Marlene sat in the center of the training room. She was deep in meditation. She knew that Tifa didn't want her using materia, but it didn't make any sense to her. Her mind felt completely refreshed, and healing honestly made her feel calm, at least when done in moderation.
She couldn't stand this angry Denzel. She hated seeing him so frustrated, unable to do anything with his arm. And how would he handle school without his hand? What if he lost his temper there? What if he hurt one of the kids again? If she could prove to everyone that healing wouldn't be putting her in danger, maybe she could convince them to let her fix him. And if she could fix him, maybe they would see that she was strong enough to go to school.
But first, she needed something to cure. After making sure that the kitchen was empty, she pulled a sharp knife from the butcher's block by the back door and snuck it out to the training room. She figured that was the best place to do her experiment uninterrupted, and a little more blood soaked into the dirt floor wouldn't raise any eyebrows.
She could hear the voices in the lifestream loud and clear. Tifa had told her that she couldn't understand what they were saying, but Marlene had always been able to hear words. She didn't know what they meant because they were in another language, but she heard the same words repeated often when she called on them for healing.
She held Tifa's mastered cure materia in one hand, the knife in the other. Bracing herself, she quickly cut a small slice just above her knee. It didn't hurt as badly as she'd feared. She closed her eyes and traced the path in her body to the wound. She recognized all the structures as she passed them – veins, arteries, bones, muscles, tissue – and could move forward or backwards, faster or slower as she watched everything like a movie in her head. The clarity was amazing. It must have been all the healing she had done in the town hall. Like a muscle pushed far beyond its capabilities, sore and resistant at first, but rebuilt stronger than before, she had unprecedented control. The wound called to her like a siren, pulsing and throbbing. She sped toward it along with the blood, the red and white blood cells who would shortly have no work to do.
When she reached the wound, she looked at it from the inside. Her body was already hard at work, clotting the blood and beginning to seal up the torn flesh. She was fascinated by this new view and understanding of how her body worked, but she was there to practice healing, not appreciate biology. She pulled a surge of the lifestream toward the wound, and with only a second to appreciate the cool tingling sensation, it was healed.
Marlene opened her eyes and smiled. She wiped away the tiny stream of blood that had escaped with her hand, seeing no trace of the cut she had inflicted on her leg. But then she realized that she had no way to clean up the smear of blood on her hand. She had worn shorts and a tank top, so the skin of her arms and legs was free and accessible, but she hadn't brought any bandages or cloth to clean it up. With a shrug, she wiped the hand on the dirt floor. She would just have to leave it until she could sneak up to the bathroom to rinse off the rest.
Feeling encouraged, she cut a bigger slice on her forearm, wincing only slightly . This one was a bit more painful, but only for a second. She zoomed right to it and sealed it up in seconds. After several more small cuts, she knew she needed to go deeper. She was only cutting skin, and with Denzel, she would need to fix muscles and bones and (gulp) nerves.
Marlene really didn't like pain, but she wasn't confident enough in her ability to fix something other than skin. Before, she had seen a blurry view of a person's insides, and she could send the lifestream in a surge in the general direction of damage. That wouldn't do for Denzel's injury. She would have to carefully cut and correctly re-fuse cells. She needed pinpoint accuracy, which meant that she needed to be able to see the cut in the muscle.
Mentally preparing herself, Marlene bent her right leg and rested her ankle above her left knee, exposing her right calf. She held the knife over the clear flesh, hovering for just a moment before slashing down, cutting as deep as she could stand. The blood gushed out, much faster than before. She bit down on her lip, hard, holding back the yell that wanted to escape. Gaia, that hurt. Trying hard to ignore the pain (and it was much more persistent this time), she closed her eyes and was practically dragged to the site of the injury. She scanned the area. There was the cut, a gaping wound where blood was surging to meet it. It was harder to see this time. Blood flowed everywhere, moving too fast to push out of the way. Digging deeper into that part of her mind, she mentally held back the blood. It was only for a few seconds, but it was long enough to slam her with disbelief.
The muscle was untouched. She had cut through layers of skin, deeper than any of the others, but she still hadn't hit the muscle. She couldn't take it anymore. She sent a surge of healing up to the cut and felt an instant relief. The pain faded away, leaving only a memory of the intense throbbing that had taken over her body.
Marlene opened her eyes and let herself fall back on the dirt floor, leaving the blood dripping from the unbroken skin of her leg. How in the world was she supposed to do this to herself? It hurt so much. She hadn't been able to force herself to push any deeper. She stared up at the high ceiling of the training room and wondered if she was crazy. The fact that she was putting herself through that kind of pain was crazy enough, but did she really think she had the ability to fix Denzel? She was just a kid.
'You have the ability to see into others' hearts. You see past the masks they put up….Use it well, Marlene.'
No, that wasn't true. She wasn't just any kid. She had been entrusted with the gift of the last living ancient. She was the only one who could fix Denzel.
With determination in her heart, Marlene sat up. She looked at the blood smeared all over her arms and legs, now mixing with the loose dirt of the floor. She looked at the blood covering the sharp edge of the knife. It wasn't nearly enough. If she was going to do this, she needed to just suck it up and do it. She couldn't slice deep enough; the pain stopped her from pushing as far as she needed to. She was just going to have to stab. Do it quick, get it over with, and get it healed.
Ok. Ok. I can do this. One…two…wait wait wait! Not ready yet.
Marlene set down the knife on her lap and wiped her sweaty palms on the dirt floor until they were dry. Taking several deep breaths to calm herself, she carefully picked up the knife again and gave herself a pep talk.
Pain isn't really that bad. Cloud and Tifa and Denzel get hurt all the time! I'm just being a baby. It only hurts because I think it will.
It's not going to hurt. That much.
Besides, Denzel's counting on me. Remember the day he found me in the Wasteland? He covered for me with Cloud and Tifa. And he even cast that fire on Jesse because he was making rude comments about me. He's just…cranky lately. But the old Denzel, he's still in there. He's still my brother. He would do it for me.
Ok. Ok, I'm ready this time.
Marlene lifted her arm over her head, the knife gripped firmly in her hand. With one final breath, she drove the knife down, stabbing it into her thigh.
The pain was instant. It was blinding in its intensity. This time, she couldn't hold it back. This time, she screamed.
Omigods omigods omigods it hurts worse than I remember. Hurts so bad, so, so bad, daddy make it stop, please make it stop.
But, as usual, Barret wasn't there.
Denzel was putting away the last of the dishes when he heard the scream. It stabbed him like a sword through his heart. He dropped his dishtowel and burst through the training room doors.
It's another nightmare. I'm dreaming. This can't be real. This can't be real!
Marlene's face was the color of death. There was blood everywhere. It was all over her, on her arms and legs, her clothes, and pooled below her in the dirt. And then he saw the knife. It was buried to the hilt in her thigh.
For a moment, he was too shocked to move. His brain stumbled over the image, refusing to make sense of it. But then she looked up. Tears were streaming from her big brown eyes and she was crying loudly. Everything clicked into place. Marlene needed him.
He shook off the paralyzing fear and ran to her, skidding next to her on his knees.
"Marlene! What – what happened? Who—how—"
He couldn't formulate a question. He shook his head helplessly. "I'm going to call Cloud, Mar. Just stay right here."
Before he could move, a small hand snaked out and grasped his wrist. She squeezed it and shook her head vehemently. "Don't!" was all she managed to spit out.
Denzel blinked. She must be in shock. She doesn't know what she's saying. He tried to gently peel her fingers off, but she only squeezed tighter.
"I promise I'll come right back, Mar. I just need to call Cloud. He's going to help you."
"No! Don't call Cloud!" she wheezed. "You can't tell them."
"What are you talking about?" Denzel asked desperately. "You're hurt bad, Mar. He'll know what to do."
"I can fix it!" she insisted, finally opening her eyes to look at him. "I need to heal it. I need to do it myself. Please, Denzel. Just trust me."
Denzel didn't know what to say. His eyes flickered to the knife, to her eyes, back to the knife again.
"I just – I need your help. I need to pull it out so I can heal it, but it hurts so bad, I can't do it myself. I swear, I know what I'm doing."
Her puppy dog eyes pleaded with him. She really did seem coherent, and he never could say 'no' to that look. He sighed. "Ok, fine, but if you don't fix it right away, I'm calling them anyway."
"Ok, deal," Marlene said desperately, releasing his hand.
Denzel settled in on his knees, making sure he was stable. He gripped the handle of the knife with his good hand. "Are you ready? I'll count to three."
Marlene nodded and squeezed her eyes closed.
"One…..two…." and he yanked out the knife.
Immediately, blood gushed out like a geyser. Her scream was even more shrill this time.
Denzel panicked. He didn't know what to do. But it didn't matter. In the next instant, pain was shooting up and down his arm. He had been hauled up to his feet, his arm twisted painfully behind his back. His hand opened and dropped the knife.
"Look at me, Denzel!" Cloud ordered as he roughly grabbed Denzel's face.
Denzel didn't have a choice, since his head was forcibly turned, but he flinched when he met the flaring red in Cloud's eyes.
"What did you do?" Cloud demanded.
"I…I didn't…nothing!" Denzel stuttered. The fingers on his face and arm felt like they were burning him.
Cloud released his wrist and shoved him away roughly. "Get out of here," he growled as Denzel stumbled and fell. He turned his attention back to Marlene, not even waiting to see if Denzel obeyed. Of course, no one in their right mind would disobey an order like that from Cloud. He pulled a large strip of gauze from one of his many pockets and pressed it against her leg.
"It's ok," Cloud said, pushing a sweaty lock of hair out of her face. "It looks clean. I know it hurts, but we can heal it, ok?"
"Denzel…" Marlene said through gritted teeth.
"Don't worry about him," Cloud said soothingly. "I'll deal with him later."
"Denzel…stay!" she gasped.
Cloud looked over at Denzel warily. He was almost out of the training room by then, but he heard her plea and paused at the door.
"He…didn't…do it," she ground out.
Cloud stared at her, probably trying to decide if she was telling the truth. "Fine. Denzel, get over here," he finally said. Denzel scurried over and knelt down next to her again. Cloud placed Denzel's hand on top of the gauze, which was already soaking through. "Keep pressure on this," he directed. "I just need to grab my materia."
As soon as he left, Marlene whimpered. "I can't hear them, Denzel! It hurts so much and I can't hear them!"
Denzel knew instantly what she meant. "I know, the pain makes it hard to focus. But you can do it. Close your eyes."
She closed her eyes, her face still twisted in pain.
"Remember that day in Costa del Sol? Remember the Barret sand castle?"
Marlene's face relaxed a bit. Encouraged, he kept going.
"Remember how we played chicken on their shoulders in the water? And beach volleyball?"
Her face relaxed a bit more, and a smile played on the corners of her lips.
"Now remember that night," he said, but in the next moment he could see that she didn't need any more prompts. The materia clenched in her fist glowed bright green through her fingertips.
The next 30 seconds dragged on for Denzel. He could see that she was doing something, so he let her concentrate, but it took every ounce of willpower not to ask if she was ok. Finally, she opened her eyes. Her shoulders relaxed, and she smiled at Denzel.
"I did it! It worked! I can fix you, Denz!"
Denzel looked at her uncertainly. "Well that's…really good. Assuming that Cloud lets me live."
Marlene gave him an apologetic smile. "I'll explain it to him. It just…I'm sure it looked really bad. You had the bloody knife in your hand and—"
Cloud ran back into the room, skidding to a stop next to her. She was completely calm now, no longer whimpering in pain, although still covered in blood.
She smiled serenely up at him. "I'm good, Cloud. I healed it!"
Cloud knelt down by her side. There was no avoiding the large pool of blood, so both he and Denzel were sitting in it now. He wiped her leg with the gauze. Under the blood, her skin was unblemished. His brow furrowed and he looked up at her. "Marlene, what happened? Who did this to you?"
"I did," Marlene said bravely.
"What?" Cloud shook his head helplessly. "Why would you do that to yourself?"
She raised her chin. "Because I'm tired of being weak and helpless. I'm the only one who can fix Denzel's arm and you guys won't let me. You don't even think I'm strong enough to go to school! But I'm stronger now. I know I can do this."
Cloud ran a hand through his hair, smearing the pale spikes with red. "You did this to prove a point to us? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? What if you couldn't heal yourself? What if you passed out from the blood loss? What if I hadn't come home that exact second?"
Marlene shrugged, suddenly feeling very small. Cloud was really distraught. Maybe it had been a mistake to try doing this behind their backs. He looked so lost.
"Marlene…go get cleaned up," he said finally. "We'll talk when Tifa gets home."
Marlene stood up, suddenly realizing that she was almost completely covered in her own blood. She stepped gingerly, but there was no avoiding stepping in the dirty pool of it. Denzel hurried behind her. He didn't seem anxious to spend any time alone with Cloud.
They both removed their shoes before leaving the training room. Tifa really had issues with them tracking blood all over the house. At the door, Marlene looked back. Cloud was still sitting in the same spot, staring at the huge pool of blood. She ducked her head and hurried into the kitchen.
When she reached the stairs, the first wave of dizziness hit her. She grabbed the banister, trying to hide it from Denzel, but her legs were shaking.
"Whoa!" Denzel wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her. "Are you ok, Mar? That was a ton of blood."
Marlene suddenly felt like crying. She was overwhelmed. She forced herself to nod. "Just help me up the stairs. And don't tell Cloud about it, ok?"
Denzel sighed as she looped an arm over his shoulders. He didn't answer, but he carried most of her weight up the stairs. Once they had made it safely to the bathroom, he sat her on the edge of the tub. "I won't tell Cloud on one condition," he said quietly.
Marlene looked up at him.
"Don't ever do something like that on your own again. Cloud's right. That could've been really bad."
"I didn't mean to scare you guys," she said softly.
"Just promise," Denzel said.
Marlene looked down. "Ok. I promise."
Denzel nodded. "Ok." He left, closing the door behind him.
Denzel trudged down the stairs in clean clothes. Tifa had lectured him more than once about letting blood dry on his clothes, so he carried his soiled pants down to the big industrial sink in the kitchen. Cloud was already standing there, spraying his own pants with the hand sprayer.
He glanced up when Denzel approached. He held his hand out. "I'll do yours, too."
Denzel handed over his pants. Cloud took them and then did a double take, examining Denzel's face. There were angry red marks below his cheekbones.
"What happened to you?" Cloud questioned.
Denzel didn't say anything. Instead, he held up his arm. A much larger red area was there, clearly a burn, clearly in the shape of a hand.
Cloud dropped the wet clothes into the sink. "I did that." It wasn't a question. He wiped his hands on his shirt and held one out toward Denzel. Instintively, Denzel took a step back. Hurt flashed across Cloud's eyes, but his hand glowed green and Denzel felt the cooling relief of the burns being healed.
Turning back toward the sink, Cloud braced his hands on the edge and looked down. "I'm sorry. Sometimes, when I'm really emotional, I just…lose control of it."
Denzel nodded. "Ok." He turned away and walked back across the kitchen. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Cloud spoke again.
"Don't let Marlene try to fix you without us there."
Denzel paused. Without us there? Did that mean they were going to let her do it? But all he said was "Ok," and then continued up the stairs.
He went into his bedroom and shut the door. His head was a mess. His forehead was itching again. He didn't want to draw, though. He just wanted to lie in the dark and close his eyes. Collapsing on the bed was a relief.
He threw his arm across his eyes, blocking the meager light leaking between the blinds. How did things get like this? Did Cloud really have so little trust in him? He'd had no problem believing that Denzel would hurt Marlene. A year ago, or maybe even just a few months ago, Cloud would have known that he would be helping her.
Denzel just wanted to go back to the way things used to be. He wanted to crowd around Cloud's desk with Marlene, helping him draw out his route for the next day. He wanted to sit on the floor of the garage and hand tools to Cloud while he worked on Fenrir. He wanted to draw on the walls with chalk and make Marlene smile. He wanted two hands that worked.
It all came back to Jesse. Stupid Jesse making rude comments about Cloud and then Denzel losing his temper. Anger burned in his chest. It's all Jesse's fault. Your whole world is falling apart and all he got was a black eye. It's not fair. Not fair! He needs to pay for it. In his mind, he pictured all the ways he could get his revenge. His sword would be the most fun, but he would never get away with it. He wondered if he could get his hands on some different kinds of materia that wouldn't be traced back to him. Poison, maybe? Frog? No, that was too obvious.
His bedroom door burst open and Marlene whispered loudly. "Denzel, come into my room! Cloud and Tifa are talking about us."
The anger only flared brighter. "Go away, Marlene," he said bitterly.
"But—"
"Go AWAY."
He said it loudly, and there was a good chance that Cloud heard him from downstairs, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything but revenge.
The rebuff from Denzel stung. She felt betrayed. They were in this together for a little while, but now he had gone back to Angry Teen Denzel. She wanted to sit by the vent with him like they used to do as kids when it was their room. They would eavesdrop together and whisper about what they thought the adults meant, or what they thought was causing those strange banging sounds, and why Cloud and Tifa weren't investigating it. They had never gotten up the courage to go investigate it themselves.
She sighed and traced over the old drawing on the wall with her fingers. It was no use wishing for the past. She forced herself to pay attention to what they were saying.
Cloud was in full angst mode. His heavy boots paced across the floor. "I don't know what I'm doing, Teef. I'm not a parent. I can't raise kids. I'm just not good for them. Marlene almost killed herself and I don't even know who Denzel is anymore. I don't know how to talk to him or how or when I'm supposed to discipline him. I—" His footsteps stopped. His voice was full of defeat. "I can't even trust myself not to accidentally hurt them anymore."
"Cloud—" Tifa started.
The footsteps started again, with a purpose this time.
Her voice turned sharp. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to take a drive," Cloud responded bitterly. He was already farther away, his heavy steps almost to the kitchen door.
"Don't you dare." Tifa's tone was chilling. "You don't get to run away and leave me to deal with this—"
"I'm not leaving, I'm just—"
"Even for one night," she finished.
His footsteps stopped, and her lighter steps moved toward him. "Nobody knows what they're doing when it comes to kids, Cloud. Even real parents. They just do the best they can and hope they're not screwing them up too badly." Her voice got softer and there was a rustle of fabric brushing. "Those kids need you. Even if you make mistakes and don't always know what to do, they need you to be here."
There was a long period of silence. Marlene held her breath. Finally, she heard his heavy boots returning.
"So what do we do now?" he asked, sounding calmer.
Marlene let herself relax. Good boy, Cloud. You're learning.
Tifa sighed. "Well, I really think she needs to stay home tomorrow."
Cloud sounded hesitant. "You think we should tighten the reigns more?"
"You don't think so?" Tifa asked.
"I don't know. You're probably right," Cloud said, backing down.
"Cloud." Tifa's voice was stern. "Stop that. Tell me what you're thinking. I'm not doing this alone, and neither are you."
Cloud's boots started moving again. "Ok, fine. No, I don't think we should keep her home. She's been telling us that she needs normal, right? She's been telling us to stop hovering over her. Maybe…maybe we should listen."
"But she—"
"She's desperate to go to school tomorrow, Teef. That's why she did all this. She wanted to prove to us that she's capable."
"I'm not going to encourage this behavior, Cloud."
"No, it's not like that. She didn't do it to scare us. She was just trying to show that she knew her own limits."
"Which she clearly doesn't," Tifa pointed out, "since she nearly bled to death."
"Doesn't she? She healed herself, didn't she? If she showed us she could heal a paper cut, do you think that would've proven anything to us?"
Tifa seemed to have run out of arguments. She sat down heavily in a chair. "Maybe you're right," she conceded. "But I'm just scared for her all the time lately. Every day I have to stop myself from calling to make sure she's still ok. I tell myself that she's here with Denzel, or she's somewhere with Lexi, and they wouldn't let anything happen to her."
Marlene felt a pang of guilt. She didn't realize that Tifa still worried so much.
Cloud sat down in another chair. "Ok," he said reasonably. "Worst case scenario. What do you think could realistically happen to her at school?"
"She could faint, or she could get too tired to make it through the day," Tifa said instantly.
"Ok. That's possible. But you know I'll be doing construction at the school for the next few weeks anyway. I'll give her a ride to school and back, and if anything happens during the day, I'll be right there."
"But what about her shakes?"
"I'll keep one in my cooler. I'll give it to her at lunch time."
"But…" Tifa stalled.
"Tifa," Cloud said gently. "She needs normal. Besides, Denzel and Lexi will be with her at school, and unless one of us is going to stay home all the time, she'll just be alone here. If she's there, I'll be nearby. Denzel can come get me if she needs something."
Marlene silently cheered for Cloud.
Finally, Tifa gave in. "Ok, we'll try it. But I want you to check in with her at lunch time and see if she's up to staying for the rest of the day."
"I can do that," Cloud said lightly.
Yes! Score for Cloud! Marlene pumped her arms in the air silently, resisting the urge to get up and dance around in excitement. Her upper-body-happy-dance was stopped abruptly when she heard Tifa's next words.
"Have you talked to Denzel yet? About the thing with Niko?"
Cloud didn't answer for a moment. Then: "Yes."
"Ok…." Tifa prompted. "What happened?"
He paused again. "We should talk about it later tonight, after closing."
No! Marlene yelled in her head. Cloud lost all the points he'd just made. She had no intention of staying up until the bar closed, and even if she did, they would probably talk in their bedroom. She had never been able to figure out a way to eavesdrop in there. She could hear through the walls if she stood in the hallway, but she couldn't sneak out there without Cloud hearing her.
"All right," Tifa said. "Can you bring a couple more kegs from the basement and change the taps?"
"Sure," Cloud said.
So that was the end of their conversation. Marlene pushed away the frustration of missing the Denzel talk and focused on the part that made her happy: she was going to school on Monday! She got up from her huddled position by the vent and went about getting her books and papers organized for school. She would, of course, act appropriately surprised when they came up to tell her their decision.
Monday morning came. The four of them sat around the table finishing breakfast. Apparently Niko had been there, but he'd eaten and left before the rest of the house got up. He'd been like a ghost lately.
Cloud brought his plate into the kitchen and returned with a helmet for Marlene. "Ready to go, Mar? Denz, you sure you don't want a ride? I can come back for you."
"Uh, no thanks. I'll walk," Denzel said.
"Ok," Cloud shrugged. He picked up Marlene's backpack, slid the helmet onto her head, and ignored the exasperated look she was giving him. At least he let her secure the strap herself.
She went out the front door and waited for him to pull Fenrir around to the front. She was big enough now to sit behind him and to hold on to his waist, and if he tried to make her sit in front of him like a 6-year-old, she would have put her foot down. But he didn't. She swung her leg over the seat and pulled herself forward. She hugged herself against his back and absorbed the comfort of his heat through his clothes.
She had always loved riding Fenrir. She loved the way people stopped and stared when Cloud drove by. She loved how safe she felt, knowing that he would never let her get hurt. She loved knowing that she was one of only a few people ever allowed that privilege.
It was even more pronounced when they pulled up to the school. Kids pointed or stopped in groups and broke into frantic chatter. Cloud was either totally oblivious or else pretended to be. Probably the latter. He really hated all the attention.
"Now remember," he said as they walked toward the school, "I'll be out here all day if you need anything. Have Denzel come get me if you need to. Otherwise go to the office and they'll call my cell. And come out at lunch time to get your shake."
"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Marlene said impatiently. They had reached the side doors of the building and she didn't want him to walk her all the way to her locker.
Cloud looked down at her and just smiled. "Okay then. Have a good day."
Marlene felt warmth down to her toes. "Thanks, Cloud."
By the end of the first week, Tifa seemed to have relaxed a bit more. Marlene was happy as a clam to be back in school. She hadn't been able to see much of Lexi, but that was about to change. She trotted along happily next to Cloud on Friday morning as he walked to the office with her.
"Hello!" she chirped to the receptionist. "I need a schedule change form."
The receptionist behind the counter peered over her glasses at Marlene. "You'll need a parent or guardian to sign for that."
"That's what he's here for," she said, pointing at Cloud.
The receptionist looked up and flushed red all the way to her fake blonde hair. "Oh," she said, sounding breathless as she slid the form across the counter.
Cloud cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked around the little office while Marlene filled out the form. When she finished, he looked over it and signed at the bottom.
"All set?" he asked as she slid it across the counter to the drooling receptionist.
"Yes!" she said, surprising him with a hug. "Thanks, Cloud!"
He hugged her back, holding on for an extra second. "Don't forget, you'll have to come at the end of the lunch hour to get your shake instead of the beginning."
"I know, I won't forget!" she said cheerfully before dashing off to her locker.
The morning classes seemed to take an eternity that day, but as soon as she made it through her third hour, she dashed off to the ninth grade lockers. It was a bit intimidating to be in that hallway. The ninth graders all seemed so much bigger. She was buffeted around like a pinball, but eventually found her way to Lexi's locker. Lexi was putting away her books and notebooks when Marlene popped up beside her.
"Hey Lexi!" she said.
"Oh, hey," Lexi said. "I'm just on my way to lunch. Don't you have class right now?"
"Not anymore!" Marlene sang. "I got my classes changed so we have the same lunch period! Isn't that great?"
"Oh." Lexi closed her locker and put her hand on it, staring at it before looking over at Marlene. Her smile was gone. "Marlene, look, I'm not sure how to say this, but I don't think we should hang around together anymore."
Marlene took a step back, certain she was joking. "Ok, whatever, Lexi. Come on, let's go!"
Lexi didn't move. Her face turned hard. Her eyes glinted with something that Marlene didn't recognize. "I'm serious, Marlene. It's embarrassing to be hanging around with a sixth grader. It was ok when we didn't have school, but…"
The smile slipped off of Marlene's face. "What are you talking about, Lexi? Aren't we friends?"
Lexi sighed. "Look, I was trying to be nice. Please don't make a scene in the hallway."
Marlene's brow furrowed. She didn't feel like she was making a scene at all. "Ok, but…we can still see each other outside of school, right? I mean, no one at school even has to know…"
Lexi's seemed to brace herself. Her eyes narrowed on Marlene, looking nothing like the girl she had known. "Don't you get it Marlene? I don't like you. I don't want to be your friend. You annoy me. So go scamper off and find someone else to bother."
Marlene's throat tightened. She really thought Lexi liked her. "But…"
"Do I need to make it clearer? I can't stand you. I just felt sorry for you, but I can't even fake it anymore. You're disgusting."
Marlene felt every word like a physical blow. I won't cry. I won't embarrass myself in the ninth grade hall. I won't! But she knew that was a lie. She could feel it coming. She put her head down and pushed her way through the students moving through the hallway like cattle.
"Marlene, wait!" Lexi called.
"No, I get it," Marlene sobbed. "I'll leave you alone."
She thought she heard Lexi call her name again, but she couldn't take anymore. She ducked and weaved against the traffic of ninth graders, squeezing around and between them. For once, she was thankful for her size. She ran desperately toward the east door, ducking under the beams and tarps. Students weren't supposed to use this door, but she had been using it to meet up with Cloud for lunch time.
She burst through the doors, thankful that the construction crew wouldn't be going to lunch for another half hour at least. She saw no one as she sprinted across the road, ducking off onto a side path. She ran as hard and fast as she could, until her side ached and her head pounded. The tears streamed down her face, but she didn't bother wiping them away. There was no one to see her anyway.
Marlene wasn't even halfway home when she stumbled. Her legs just couldn't take it any more. She had gotten stronger, sure, but still much weaker than before the night of the attack. She fell to her knees in the gravel and put her forehead to the ground.
Why did she think anyone would want to be her friend? No one her own age liked her. She was too different, too weird. But why did Lexi pretend? Why did she bother with her if she couldn't stand her? She must have been really pathetic. Maybe she should be grateful that Denzel was ever nice to her. He had friends. People liked him. But Marlene would always be an outcast.
She was starting to get cold. Raindrops were mingling with the tears hitting the ground. She had to move. She wiped off the gravel that had stuck to her head and pulled herself to her feet. The rain came on hard and fast, soaking her to the bone as she pushed forward.
She fell several more times, skinning her knees and elbows, but still, she got up and kept going. The rain plastered her hair to her head and washed the continuous stream of her own rain from her face. She wasn't sure where she was going until she was there. She slowed to a walk as her sneaker touched the rubbery material of the playground.
It was their park. She clutched at the ache in her side and tried to catch her breath between sobs. She limped across the playground, into the tree graveyard. The rain was at least partially blocked by the dead branches here. She looked around for the marker, the pink piece of fabric tied to a branch. When she spotted it, she made her way over, tripping just before she reached it.
She landed on her knee on a sharp rock. She didn't care. Everything inside of her hurt so much more. She crawled on sore knees to the place where she knew it should be. It had grown a little since she last saw it. It stood up proudly among the ruins of its brothers and sisters.
'You're the only person I've shown. So now it's our little secret.'
She fought the urge to stomp the little plant into the ground. It wasn't the tree's fault that she was unlovable.
Marlene buried her head in her arms and cried.