Chapter 12 – Unbecoming Monster

The year of 2105 was ending and it was heavily snowing outside. White thick snow covered the landscapes and manor, the sheer cold covered the windows with frost. In fact, it was so cold that even the sublevels were gelidly colder than normal. The three vampires felt the chill especially Integra. It wasn't this cold years ago and it was Integra's first time to experience this pure subzero temperature. She became sleepy and when she slept, she slept like the dead. Nothing can wake her. In her deep sleep, she began to dream. Everything before her flashed and she was standing in the middle of scene…

She was wearing a police officer's uniform and was holding her gun– SIG SAUER P226. She was with two other male police officers as they entered an old chapel and found a vampire. It summoned its ghouls and not before long, she witnessed her comrade get attacked and get bitten by the vampire priest. She ran as fast as she can, away from the danger. The next thing she knew was that she was being held and unable to escape. She was being groped, hearing the priest vampire saying that he was going to rape and kill her. The scenes flashed too fast but she knew what happened. She was shot down, a sharp and bitter pain on her right breast, and she fell on the hard dirt. She was going to die but she struggled to live. The next thing that happened were flashes of memories that followed.

The next scene was in a hallway. It was dark, bloody, and in ruins. The smell was of the dead. She faced another vampire in front of her. The vampire was a well-built female, half of her body covered in unidentified scriptures. The vampire chanted silently and casted the whole place in a magenta-red illusion. She stood there. Then it happened again…

She stood in the shoes of someone else…

Someone she loves…

・・・

"Don't tell me that sadist girl is acting up again…"

"Afraid so… She hit one of the boys with a rock for taking a toy away from her."

・・・

"The teachers all say it's like talking to a wall… Probably still traumatized from well… you know…"

"Yes, but if she doesn't start getting along with others, I'll happily send her packing for the good of the orphanage."

・・・

"It's all very noble but well… isn't there anything you'd rather do?"

"No." She hears the persona answer.

"Tsk. At least pretend to think it over? You father was a fine policeman, one of the best but there's a world of possibilities out there to you. I just hate to see you squander your potential."

・・・

"Listen to your Mum. Stay in the closet. Please, don't come out of here no matter what."

"Hu! Mommy! Mommy!" Her persona cried out again but in a voice much thinner than before.

She was kept in the dark closet for her to be safe…

Gunshots were heard…

She slightly opened the closet doors, peeking at the opening… The scenes played the torture and the sound of hitting flesh…

"Oi, little piggy, what's the matter? Come on mate, squeal like a pig, why don't'cha? Why don't he squeal?"

"Should've just had him squeal before you shot."

"Ah, this one's special. He's so fuckin' good at it. Squealin' like a pig's would earn him this. He stuck that bad snout of his where it didn't belong."

Then one of them kicked on the abdomen of her dead mother, lying on the floor. The other pointed a gun in the middle of her jaw line and neck…

"You were just for fun."

She couldn't believe the horrors that unfolded before her…

She stepped out of the closet, now open… She took a few steps before she charged, picking up a fork on the floor, then rushed to stab the man's right eye. The man cried in pain and the other pointed his gun at her.

"Big mistake!"

The man shot her. The bullet hit her gut and the impact sent her propelling back to the closet, her small body hitting it, and fell along with things and boxes from the furniture.

"My eye! That filthy little cunt!"

"You can bitch later. We have to get outta here."

"It hurts, goddamn it! Give me a second! You ain't the one with a fork in ya! Let me toss it in the wife first!"

"Fuck you up! She's dead!"

"Still warm ain't it? Now, I fuck first. Yeah…"

She shrieked as the scene before her played its terror…

"Good morning, Seras, it's time to wake up. Did someone have a nightmare?"

She just stood there with her vision still stuck in the illusion. She just felt a sharp pain… Her arm was sliced off. It stung. Her persona screamed as her own vision came back to where she really was– the hallway.

"You can do better than that! Now scream!"

She felt another sharp pain as a blade of a scythe was pierced through her back. Her persona screamed in pain once again. She wasn't the one screaming. It was the voice of the dear person she loves… She couldn't do anything but stay and watch… and feel what was happening to her and around her…

"Not so tough anymore?"

She fell on the floor, prone. The vampire stepped on her head, crushing her face to the floor. She tried to push against it but to no avail… The vampire laughed in glee.

"I love the way you squirm against my bootie!"

She felt that the vampire stepping on her lifted her foot up but proceeded to grab her hair, pull and put her scythe in front of her eyes. The vampire gashed her eyes using her scythe. Again, she shrieked in pain.

…

…

"You're trash just like all those men I've killed."

…

…

The scenes then happened so fast but she experienced it. She felt the anger, touches, and the power she accepted. But the one thing that lingered to her, both persona and herself, was the pain. She experienced what happened… The only man who never failed to notice her passed away to protect her but in exchange, she attained her true power and she never again feared anything.

She saw the memories, heard the sounds, perceived the touches, and felt the emotions. The life of the person who she loves and loves her was worse than hers but she never gave up. Then after a few beats, various scenes flashed before her. She heard a voice guiding her to become what she really is.

She saw her own self as a young woman, growing old with age. Then the memories that flashed before her were the memories that she was aware and familiar of. The scene showed the grief that the persona felt after hearing that she decided to die as a human. The feeling of loneliness sank into her because she knew what it felt like to lose someone dear.

Shards of memories surrounded her vision. Even though the persona's life was misery, pain, and loneliness, she felt welcomed, important, and cared about ever since she became a vampire. She would get scolded sometimes but it only meant that she was being guided to be a proper vampire. She stood her ground and fought for what she believed in and proved herself to be better. She failed and succeeded to protect the ones she loves and the years that passed made her stronger. She was determined to protect the only person left to her.

She saw a shard of memory… It was her, herself, sleeping in her bed. The years she lived were obvious in her features as she sleep…

"I promise to protect her while Master is still away. I swear… No harm will ever come to you, Master Integra." The familiar voice said.

The shards zoomed out from her vision until there was nothing left but total darkness surrounding her. It was then silent and she was slowly waking up…

Integra wakes up, panting… She feels cold sweat on her forehead and neck. What's more is that she feels her eyes wet with bloody tears. It's dark and she's embracing something… But it isn't something… It's someone… It's Seras. The younger vampire's sleeping soundly, embracing her slim frame, and her head is resting on her chest…

Oh, Seras… It was your memories…

Integra embraces her tighter as she sleeps, stroking her hair.

I swear that no harm will ever come to you again… As long as I'm here, I'll also protect you. You can count on me.

Integra gently gets up and makes her way to Alucard's chambers, sitting on one of the sofas. She still feels drowsy but she can manage. Alucard's sitting on the other sofa, facing her with a wide grin across his face.

"Good afternoon, Master."

Integra looks at him, her face stern. She doesn't say anything…

"Is something the matter, Master?" He tilts his head slightly to one side.

"It's nothing."

"You slept in Police Girl's coffin. Is the weather affecting you this much?" He says rather amusingly.

"Yes…" She says as she glares at him. "How'd you know that?"

"The Frenchman told me. Seras came home from her mission. Again with those endless ghouls… She was very tired and she quickly fell asleep without noticing you."

"It's going to be three years with those goddamn ghouls…" She crosses her legs and arms, quickly changing the subject. "Up until now, we have no control of the situation… We have to do something about this." Alucard shakes his head, wearing a knowing grin.

"Our enemy must be powerful to pull off something like this for almost three years."

"Yes…" Integra says, her mind in thought. The ghouls and what she experienced got her thinking…

"Something is bothering you, Master. May I ask what it is?" Alucard asks with an amused smirk.

Integra sighs and looks at him. "I think I have acquired some kind of power, Alucard. I believe it's clairvoyance."

"I see." He smirks. "What makes you say that?"

"I saw, heard, and felt Seras's memories. Clairsentience… But I don't know the limits of these abilities and how I got it."

"Integra, how you acquired that ability shouldn't bother you." He gestures to her, knowing that she knows what he means. "All I can say is that it maybe karma or maybe not, it may be your own hidden talent or, then again, maybe not, and maybe fate has given you a gift or maybe even a curse."

Integra raises a brow. "Karma? Really, Alucard? What do you mean by that?"

Alucard laughs low. "I know you're made out of iron, Integra. You always keep many things to yourself. With that ability, you might melt."

He looks at her from head to toe. She has become more magnificent than ever; especially now that she's becoming a powerful vampire. She stands in front of him, in deep thought, and he couldn't help but treasure her presence. He's pleased at what she has become and that she allowed him to become something more to her even if he isn't aware that he's someone precious to her. But while Alucard's musing himself of thinking of her, Integra's thinking of how much she can manipulate her vampiric powers.

"Alucard, how can I summon familiars, not including ghouls?"

He chuckles and hums. "There must be any creature around for you to command. It's easier to demonstrate when the weather is fair."

Integra nods and turns. "I'll be attending to my books then."

Alucard was curious to why she spends most of her time in books. After having so much time, she had gathered piles of books in one of the corners of the chamber. He thought that having bookshelves in his chamber would be a hassle that was why she chose to tidy a pile of them in a corner. Though he knew she's a bookworm, it piqued his curiosity to why she's studying various topics. One time, he sneaked a peek at her books. All the books she acquired were extraneous from one another, diverging from chemistry, physics, history, geography, and most of them were about war tactics, and weaponries. He laughed about it– following her surrogate father's footsteps.

"That reminds me, Master. I have things to give you…" Alucard stands. "Come."

"Is that an order?" She side-glances at him, hiding a smile.

Alucard sighs. "Just come with me, Integra. Or else I'll make you."

"I'd like to see you try then, Count." Integra smirks.

With Integra's taunt, Alucard wills himself in front of her. He tries to grab her wrist when she grabs his. She hums tauntingly, turning to face the same direction he's facing, letting him tower her in their close distance. She pulls his wrist so his torso will lean on her back, she pulls on his wrist some more then throws him. Before he could hit the wall, he disappears. Integra moves away from the sofas– away from the things that can break in their small game. She materializes her sabre from her shadows and prepares herself. Alucard's nowhere to be found but not before long, gunshots are heard. Bullets are fired towards her from different directions: front, back, sides, above. Only quick thinking will save her from Alucard's bullets. And so, she does. She uses her inhuman speed to dodge some and ricochet the rest with her cutlass.

Integra smirks. "Tell me, Count. Have I gotten better?"

Yes, indeed. I'd like to die in your hands and no other's.

Integra rolls her eyes, sighing. "You're romantically hopeless."

Don't you mean 'hopelessly romantic'? He chuckles, the sound echoing from everywhere in the chamber.

"No. I meant –" Three rapid gunshots were heard. Integra saw where it came from and stood on guard but the three bullets were shot directly for her blade, causing it to break.

Oh, I'm sorry to break your blade, Countess. It was in the way. He laughs maniacally.

"Make sure the things you're going to give me include a new sabre." Integra stands on guard.

"We'll see. And I'm sorry, Countess, but you're going to lose in our short game. Especially when we're going to fight hand-to-hand." His voice was behind her. He was going to punch her but she had faster reflexes. She grabbed his wrist and slammed him onto the cold floor then sets a foot on top of his torso.

"I'm used to our spar, Count. I might say that I have gotten better over the decades." She grins and he smirks.

"Indeed. But with my ability…" He vanishes and appears in front of her, hastily carrying her over his shoulder.

"Alucard, put me down." Integra squirms but to no avail. His hold on her is strong.

"No. I win this time because you are very stubborn, Master. You're always so stubborn but fun. I enjoy our spars. You really keep me company." He chuckles darkly.

Alucard walks to the end of the chamber and puts Integra down. "I had a reason to break your blade... The reason is this."

Integra turns to face the dark walls and her eyes widen at the sight as Alucard pulls an enormously tall sheet, suspended from the corners of the wall. There's a collection of sabers displayed on the wall. All of them are knightly swords with gold from their pommels to their rain-guard. Alucard knew that they would suit her and now that she's a vampire, she wouldn't have a problem using the various swords in front of her; she wouldn't have a problem lifting any of those heavy swords. Integra examines them, quite fascinated.

"Do you like them, Countess? I believe that these blades are sturdier than the ones you use." Alucard crosses his arms and looks at her, raising his eyebrows.

She smiles. "Yes. They're very nice."

"They will suit you… Knightly swords for a knight. Pray tell, Integra, are you fond of daggers?"

She shakes her head. "Not very much. Why?"

"These came in the package." His eyes trail from hers to down his feet. There are throwing daggers lined-up on a long piece of cloth.

"I see. They'll be of use when circumstances call…" She says absent-mindedly.

Integra keeps silent as a memory disturbs her thoughts. Alucard tilts his head as he wonders what thoughts has come to her mind.

"Alucard, I just remembered… You told me that not all your restrictions are void… Could you explain this to me?"

Alucard stares at her for a moment. "Very well, Master." He straightens, not having a moment's hesitation. "Releasing control art restriction to level 2."

His shadows circle the both of them, enveloping them. In the darkness, Integra feels nothing. It feels dangerous– the danger of desolation. In a blink, she stands at the top cab of the London Eye. If she was a human, she'd fall out of balance but as a vampire, she learned how to stay still. It's gelidly cold from the winter winds, the altitude of where she's standing, and that she's only wearing her usual suit. Alucard's standing next to her and he drapes her olive-green trench coat on her.

"This is the first restriction. I'll be able to teleport you and Seras or any other material with me." He gathers his shadow around them again and puts them inside the cab, sitting across each other.

He couldn't explain how and why he was able to manipulate the restrictions but that was all he can do. The restrictions remain despite the fact he can manipulate a level of them.

"Something happened. How were you able to change the abilities of your restrictions?" Alucard didn't answer and after a few beats. She realizes. "Is it because you drank my blood? If so, how long have you known this?"

"My restrictions remain but its abilities depend on the intensity of what I can do. It changed ever since one soul was left within me. Your blood would be another topic… Instead of being free of what Abraham used to seal me, it grew more intact. Though this is only a theory, your blood was the key for the restrictions and my new abilities to coordinate; like a permission for my soul and the restriction to merge… Your great grandfather was absolutely magnificent." He chuckles. "A lot has changed in all of us… including how closer we got to each other."

Integra rolls her eyes. "Show me the next restriction."

"Release control art restriction, level 1." He chants and vanishes. When Integra searches for him, she sees him in her own shards of memories…

Alucard…! What are you doing?

Master…

He walks from a shard of memory to another.

This is the most powerful thing I can do. I can mess up the mind of my enemy and change what I can in his thoughts. I can change his reality by making him believe that everything that's happening around him is real but everything is only in his head.

And in a blink, Integra almost fell out of balance from what she experienced when Alucard catches her from falling off her seat and he smirks. "Gotcha."

Integra blinks and gains her composure. "And what happens when you release level 0?"

"I will devour blood like before and use all of the ghouls before I lose myself. But it'll cost me time to return again." He crosses his legs.

"Before you lose yourself…? Are you sure you can do that? Wouldn't that mess your own mind?"

"Yes… Even if I consume just one, two souls inside me will be conflicting. Master, if ever shall you order me to release the final restriction, please assume that you'll be waiting for years before I come back to you."

Integra chuckles. "Does that mean that you'll leave me again; make me wait again?"

"Yes, if the situation calls on it. You should get used to it, Integra. When you're a vampire, all those who are close to you and the ones you love will fade away and only you will stay. It's a curse but also a dark blessing. It's always like that. Everything will change around you, leaving you the same." Alucard looks at her, his eyes give a hint of melancholy. Integra just stares at him with a soft expression on her face.

"But I won't be the only one. I have Seras… and you. Can we go back home? It's cold…" Integra pulls her coat onto her more.

"Would you like me to warm you up?" He wears his Cheshire grin, cocking his head to one side.

His mood changed.

Integra glares at him. "You're crazy."

"Crazy for yo–" a foot harshly landed on his face.

"Don't stop and I will crush your face."

"I'm glad to flatter you, Inte–" Her other foot landed on his face... Now, both her feet are pushing against his face. She prevents her lower half from falling by holding onto her seat. Alucard muffles his laugh. He grabs her wrists and pulls her to sit on his lap, wearing a mischievous smile across his face. Her position of sitting on his lap with both her legs on each side of his face is disturbing and Alucard just enjoys the moment with her embarrassment.

"Y-you…!" Integra fumes.

"Afraid of a little kinkiness, Master? Don't be so easy to read. You should've expected this because the day you asked me to turn you meant that you belong to me as I've always belonged to you." He looks at her with a very teasing smile. She glares at him.

"Why are you doing this? Does this seem so amusing to you?" She tries to pull her wrists from him but he doesn't let her go.

"Why do you think I'm doing this, Integra? Isn't this amusing for you? Don't tell me that in 30 bloody years, no one even courted you or even made a move at you?"

"Shut up. This is not amusing. What's mine is mine and no one can take it away from me."

Alucard hums in satisfaction. "That's a fact…" He hums again. "No one, you say…" He looks at her and grins wide. "No one… except me."

Integra sighs but not in defeat. "Are you bored again, Alucard? If so, let's return home."

"Why, yes, I am, Master. But the game I want to play is out of your… uhm… capability." He taunts.

"I can do anything I wish. Taunt me, and I'll prove you wrong." Alucard looks even more amused.

"Oh, really? What you're saying is true but I know it's beyond your capability. Tell me, Integra… It's been 50 years. I'm still waiting for the kiss. And the game I want to play involves more than just a kiss." He chuckles darkly.

Integra grows tired of his shenanigans. "You're waiting for nothing, Count. Let's return home."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't sound like it." He laughs.

"Alucard!" Integra shouts and glares at him.

"As you wish, My Master." He chuckles in delight.

His shadows envelop them again and they return back to his chamber. It feels, at least, warmer than in the cab. They return in the chamber but their position is still the same, only Alucard is sitting on his throne and Integra's legs were bent on his shoulders. Alucard is grinning wide. He finds it an amusing habit for him to tease Integra like this. Integra tries to get up but finds herself trapped in her position… a faint blush on her face burns.

"Is it hard for you to let go of me, Alucard?" She says lazily.

"Why, yes. You could say that you're like my best friend." Off he goes to his child-like state. It wasn't a wonder why he and Seras could somehow relate to each other.

"I'm not leaving. You know you're better at doing that… Making me wait…"

Alucard chuckles and gets her legs to the side so that she'd sit on his lap sideways. He still doesn't let go of her, holding her legs and her back.

"But you're good at hiding and not letting me find you. I hated you for that, My Countess."

Integra pauses. "You… hated me?"

"Yes. It wasn't a nice joke for your loyal servant, Countess. But it's done and I get you to play with me." He wears a small smile.

"You're such a child..." She pulls away to stand and face him. "But did you loathe me? Are you angry at me and my bloodline for making you a slave?" She looks at him in the eyes.

Alucard is obviously surprised to hear that question from her. He suddenly feels something dangerous. The question she asked turned his mood upside-down. Her gaze is soft and he sees her sincerity but it makes him doubt her.

"Are you hearing yourself, Integra? Something has changed in you very drastically and this isn't like you. Hmph. Sometimes, I'd like to believe that you're only an illusion. Tell me, Integra, what's your true reason to ask me to turn you? I know that my persuasion wasn't one of the choices. Even if you died as a human, I'm still bound by your order because your great grandfather is that great of a man to enslave a monster like me. So tell me… why? What pushed you to accept my offer? Were you afraid to become useless? Or maybe forgotten? Or maybe you were afraid to leave your country unprotected and threatened by someone like me?" Alucard puts up a dead serious front. He feels something wrong. The Integra he knew knows better and this isn't her. He would've been amused by her strange change but her actions bother him… it stirs something perilous… He doesn't know where that risk will bring all of them but he's concerned about Integra's being especially now that she's no longer bound by her duties and human attachments but to protect her country. The thought of the danger that Integra is possible to keep makes him furious… Besides that danger, there're secrets that he feels her hiding…

Integra's fists were trembling. At first, she was surprised but after Alucard's suspicions, her temper rose. She was angry at him for questioning her even after how many years had passed already. He has no right to question her motives neither her intentions. She stood there, impassive…

"Tell me, Countess… Should I read your mind? Should I make you tell me your reason? You're regretting your decision, aren't you?! I know you, Integra. You did this because you were afraid. You were afraid of something that might happen. Pray tell… Are you regretting this because you're afraid to become a monster? If so, don't be because you were already a monster deep inside even while you were human!" He wasn't sure if his statements were true but that's what he felt…

Integra slaps his face hard, her face stern. Alucard's cheek bleeds from the impact that split his skin. "You have no right to question my resolve, Servant. You should know… No…" She turns her back on him. "I know I changed. I changed when I was still human. It was the best change that could have happened to me before I became something that dismissed changes. I have my reasons and it's none of your business, Count." She glances at him before leaving his chambers.

Alucard was left alone in his chamber…

Hmph. That's what you say, Integra. But there's something about you that I'm worried about… You ask me things that stun me. You show us that you've changed. You have grown soft. And that's not all… Sometimes, you make me regret turning you. There's something about you, Integra, and it makes me desperate to know. It's maddening! You're hiding something from me and I can feel it… Your actions… Your words… You… You make me think that I lost you the day you died… So tell me, Integra. My Master. My Countess…

…

Why?

"Master! There's trouble! Sir Sherwin is calling for us! It looks like our enemy has shown up." Seras rushed into his chambers and he snapped back into reality. His mind drifted to the year that passed. The time is now in the middle of the year 2106. Alucard stands and wears his smirk. It's time. The enemy has shown up for him to kill. He focuses on the mission and follows Seras to Sherwin's office. Even though he was thinking about Integra, he had no choice but to finish the mission he's given.

A/N: So sorry for the late update. I will update now because I don't know when I'll be able to... Final exams are coming so I must focus. The title of this chapter came from Starset's songs: Unbecoming and Monster. I love their songs. I have a lot of ideas for fics but unfortunately, I don't have time to focus on them and this.

And truth be told, yes, I re-watched that part in OVA 7. I somewhat got used to it but I still feel uncomfortable.

I'd like to thank OverWordly for helping me revise this chapter and Everianna for helping me understand the Australian accent in that part in OVA 7. (If they ever see this. LOL. Love the both of you.)

THANK YOU also, readers, for reading this. I hope I won't disappoint you. I'll try to do my best in the following chapters. For now, please have more Alucard and Integra. If you have questions, don't be shy to PM me or review. That includes suggestions as well.

The conflict between Alucard and Integra is quite complex, isn't it? What do you guys think'll happen?

Tschüß und Auf Wiedersehen!