Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.
BGM: Dry Dry Ruins Quest (Paper Mario)
"So, this is the so called Dry Dry Ruins." Yang said. "Hmm, not bad."
"Could use a little fixer upper, but whatever." Weiss said as they walked through the hallway.
"Ooooo! Oooo! Turn baaaaaack or you will be trapped here foreeeeveeeeer!"
"What was that?" Ruby asked.
Mario chuckled. "Something tells me it's the boss of this area."
"He… doesn't sound so tough." Kamui said, and then turned her head, noticing an outline of Luigi. "Um, is anyone going to get Luigi?"
"I got it." Camilla said and walked over… and about two seconds later…
"No! NO! I don't wanna be trapped here forever!" Luigi pleaded. "Nononono!" But as usual, it never worked out in his favor.
"You must overcome your fears eventually." Frederick said. "Facing your fears is key to a successful life."
"Exactly." Camilla said.
"Riiiiight." Luigi groaned as they walked forward and dealt with a few Buzzy Beetles.
"Is it me, or do Buzzy Beetles look a lot cuter right now than their 3D counterparts?" Ruby asked.
"Ruby, there's no such thing as 3D." Weiss said. "We're always made out of paper, I doubt that there's such a thing that's not paper. I don't want to live in a world that's 3D, thank you very much!"
"But… aww… where's your sense of adventure?" Ruby asked.
"I always thought the idea of 3D was a myth. If it is true, then more people would be talking about it." Frederick said.
"Then there'd be such nonsense like we're actually in some story book." Camilla said.
"That's Blake's dream right there." Yang said as Blake rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, sure." Blake said as they kept walking and noticed a locked keyhole, so they turned around and went downstairs.
"Where's Link when you need him? He can find keys in a chest in no time!" Luigi said.
"I swear, I will scream if we encounter such a chest." Weiss said.
"You know what'd be weirder?" Ruby asked.
"Pokeys coming out of a sarcophagus?" Mario asked.
"Well, no, I was thinking-wait, Pokeys coming out of what?" Ruby asked as they turned to see Pokey Mummies slowly coming toward them.
"I got this." Kamui said as she walked forward, then activated her Dragon Stone and then turned into her Dragon Form, proceeding to blast them away with water before slicing them to pieces, then turning back to normal.
"Whoa!" Parakarry exclaimed.
"…Meep. Uh, I mean, Ooooo! You will not see the light of day again if you mess with these creatuuuures! …And keep that dragon away from me. Please!"
"Hang on, I gotta study that a bit more." Goombario said, looking through his tattle log. "Ah! It says here that she was most likely born with some kind of dragon vein in her and can cause all kinds of havoc!"
"Whoa, not bad!" Kooper said.
"Also says that there is a rumor that she nearly destroyed Hoshido in a fit of rage that only a songstress calmed her down."
"Ah, it's just a rumor! I doubt it actually happened." Bombette said.
If only you knew… Kamui thought as she had heard the trio talking in Mario's pocket.
"So… she can turn into a dragon just like Nowi?!" Weiss asked.
"Yep!" Kamui giggled. "You should've seen the look on her face when I turned into one during a sparring match with her in the Smash Mansion. In her words, we're now dragon buddies and with Tiki, we hang out a lot and make the best Dragon Trio ever." She said.
"That sounds like Nowi alright." Frederick said as they continued onward, but Mario stayed behind when he noticed a Spike Shield.
"Hmm, what's this?" Mario wondered as he examined it.
"Bro, I'd put that down. This place is cursed for Mushroom's sake!" Luigi said.
"Oh please, I seriously doubt it. Besides, this so called 'ghost guy' sounds nothing more than a guy who tries too hard."
"EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME?! I heard that! Uh… I mean, Ooooo, I'm the real deeeeal!"
"See what I mean?" Mario asked.
"…I'll take your word for it." Luigi said as Mario put the Spike Shield away and kept going where they grabbed a key after hitting a switch that poured sand into another room and went onward.
"Ooooo! Oooooo! Turn baaaaack or you will be cursed foreeeveeeeer!"
"Oh, put a sock in it! You're not scary!" Weiss said.
"Oooo! Oooo! I am scaaaary!"
"Name one thing that'll scare me!"
"Um… Ooooo! Ooooo! Turn baaaaack or I will… uh… I will curse your frieeeends!"
"Nice try, but it'll take more than that to scare me. Besides, I doubt this dolt will even notice she was even cursed at all." Weiss said.
"Hey!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Oooo! Ooooo! I'll… uh… I'll curse your faaaaamily!"
"Hmph. Go ahead, my father is a blowhard anyway." Weiss said.
"Wait, seriously? You're not gonna defend him? Uh… hold on a second… let me just make sure I heard that correctly. You want your dad to be cursed because… he's an asshole? Um… let me think on this… I think it'd be better if you talked with your family first, y'know?"
"Hmph, as if! He's just running the Schnee Dust Company through the mud."
"This guy sounds like those corrupted businessmen parent types who cares about nothing but themselves and money, so… Uh… wow, I never really did this. Um… Ooooo! Ooooo! Your father is now cursed! YOOOOW! Okay, I did NOT mean to shock myself! Um… be right back, I'm gonna have to figure this out."
"Take your time." Weiss said and then chuckled. "That'll shut him up for a bit."
"Wow, is that really true?" Kamui asked.
"If you met my father, you'd understand." Weiss said.
"I doubt he's as bad as Garon." Camilla said.
"Who?"
"Oh, don't worry about it dearie, maybe I'll tell you some other time." Camilla said as they walked deeper into the Ruins. "I mean, your father could be a caring man who is stressed from his job at times and snaps at you by accident."
"Perhaps, but perhaps not." Frederick said. "This father of yours reminds me of some scoundrels I've come across, including a madman by the name of Validar."
"At least someone is with me." She said and they walked further as they collected some peculiar stones in the area, but as they went into a certain room…
"Alright, I'm still working on it, I'm just checking in and… oh come on, don't go in there! Turn baaaack! Turn baaaaack and leave this place or be dooooomed foreeeveeeeer!"
"Does he have a mute button?" Yang asked.
"I don't think he does, unfortunately." Blake said.
"Crap." Yang sighed.
"Unfortunately for you, I will never be muuuuteeeeed! Not even the author can muuuute meeee!"
…Hey, don't drag me into this!
"Uh, what author?" Parakarry asked.
"Oh never mind! Just don't break that block!"
"You mean, this block?" Camilla asked.
"Yes, that one! Don't break that ooooone!"
"Okay, Mr. Spooky Man, I won't break it." Camilla said.
"Good."
"However, you might want to stop Frederick." Camilla said, and right on cue, Frederick shattered the block easily.
"Oh come on!"
"Please don't be a key, please don't be a key…" Weiss hoped and when they opened it up, it was two Super Hammers. "Oh, hammers. I was hoping for some kind of weapon upgrade."
"Unfortunately, that only happens in our game series." Kamui said. "Mostly by promotions."
"Drat!" Weiss groaned as the Mario Bros took the Super Hammers.
"Alright, now we're talking!" Mario said, high fiving Luigi.
"Do you normally take stuff from other people? That's not nice!"
"Only when they're dead, considering what we went through in Uprising." Blake said.
"Don't forget our series!" Camilla said as they pressed onward and went to unlock a few more doors.
"Alright, I've seen enough! Stone Chomps, take care of them!"
"Oh look, this guy has minions. Goes to show how cowardly he is." Camilla said.
"I am NOT cowardly!"
"Then why do you constantly hide yourself and let your men do your dirty work? Sounds pretty cowardly to me."
"Well, at least I'm not that green guy or that lady with a bow!"
"Huh?" Mario turned around as they saw Blake on top of Frederick's head.
"I really do not like dogs." Blake hissed with narrowed eyes.
"Like I said with Luigi, you have to-"
"It's more complicated than that!" Blake yelled. "Why are Chain Chomps made out of stone?!" She continued to yell as Frederick sweatdropped.
"…Okay then." He said as he lifted up his axe, along with Camilla and sliced them away, and when they got back up to attack, Yang jumped in and punched them hard enough to shatter them.
"It's over, Blake." Ruby said.
"…Oh thank goodness." Blake said as she emerged from Frederick and they went through a long hallway.
"Oooo! You have made a wrong decision in liiiife! It is too laaaate for you to turn baaaaaack for you have ignored my waaarniiiiings!"
"Most of them were hardly warnings." Weiss said.
"They were too and you know it!"
"…Right." Weiss rolled her eyes as they walked into the final room, and then something conjured up in front of them. In front of them was a Magikoopa in white robes and an Egyptian headpiece with a Chain Chop decorative.
End BGM
"BEHOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!" He yelled. "I, the great Tutankoopa will wreak havoc on you and your fates are sealed for all eternity and… okay, seriously, you ignored all of my warnings! Don't y'all have the common sense to get scared and running away? What is WRONG with y'all?!"
"Are you done rambling?" Yang asked. "I mean, you've been nothing but annoying, and your monologing needs work."
"B-but… what?! I'm not that annoying!"
"Yeah, you kinda are." Ruby said.
"Agh! Alright, you miserable vermin! I have perfected that curse that the ice queen wanted me to perfect… and now I will test it on you!"
"Why does everyone call me an ice queen? Seriously, I hate this running gag!" Weiss complained.
"Oh, pipe down, it could be a lot worse." Camilla said. "Now, are you going to surrender quietly? 'Cause you don't seem threatening."
"Don't seem threatening?! I'LL SHOW YOU THREATENING!" He yelled.
"Hmm hmm hmm, show us what you got." Camilla smirked.
BGM: Chomp Attack (Paper Mario)
Tutankoopa jumped on the ledge and picked up a Buzzy Beetle and threw it at Mario, who blocked it with his hammer and swung it back at him, hitting him in the forehead. "Yowch!"
Goombario peeked out of Mario's pocket. "His max health is thirty with an attack power of three and no defense at all. Oh, and he can summon Chain Chomps, so watch out for that. Y'know, I feel like he has a pharaoh complex, like a wannabe King Tut."
"Oh, get back in here!" Kooper pulled him in.
"That pocket mechanic is so weird…" Kamui said as she jumped up to the ledge with the help of using Draconic Ascent, and then slashed him with the Yato Blade and then proceeding to use Dragon Fang Shot.
"Yow!" Tutankoopa exclaimed as Kamui jumped off. "Why you!" He said, throwing a Buzzy Beetle shell at Kamui, but he overshot it and it went through the hallway. "…Whoops. Alright, take a load of this magic spell!" He said and proceeded to fire a lightning bolt… right on himself. "YAAAGH! I seriously thought I had that mastered!" He exclaimed. "Alright, Chain Chomp, go!" He ordered as a door opened up to reveal a Chain Chomp.
"I'll deal with the Chain Chomp!" Yang said as she went over to deal with it, while Parakarry aimed himself at Tutankoopa and shot himself to knock him back.
"Agh, you'll pay for that!" He said, as he then got pelted by bullets from Ruby and Blake, while icicles rained down on top of him from Weiss. "Ow ow ow ow! Ranged Attacks aren't fair!"
"Oh, don't be such a baby!" Camilla smiled and then pulled back her axe, as her body glowed. "Say night night!" She said, and then suddenly, she threw her axe right at him.
"AAAAAH!" Tutankoopa screamed as he ducked as the axe hit the wall. "Are you TRYING to kill me?!" He asked… as the axe fell on the ledge and shattered it. "…Uh oh." He said as he fell where Mario and Luigi ran over and hammered him a few times before Luigi jumped back and hammered him toward them. "Uuugh, I still can do this!"
"No. This battle is over." Frederick said as he started glowing too.
"Oh no! Don't you dare!" Tutankoopa said and fired a lightning bolt at him… only it hit himself again. "AAAGH!"
"Pick a god and pray!" Frederick exclaimed and slashed him straight to a wall.
"YAAAAGH!" Tutankoopa slammed into said wall and fell over in defeat. "Ooogh."
End BGM
Bombette then peeked out of Mario's pocket. "Two crits in a row? That's so strangely convenient!"
"Right?!" Goombario asked as he popped out too.
"Will you two get back in here!" Kooper pulled them back in. "You're making it weird!"
"Pick a god and pray?" Ruby asked. "Oooh, that was so cool!"
Frederick chuckled. "Thank you, miss Rose."
"Yeah, he sure is." Camilla smiled.
Oh gods, you have a crush on him… Kamui thought.
"Uuugh… I can still fight…!" Tutankoopa said as he got back up… only he heard a growl as he turned to see the same Chain Chomp glaring at him. "Chompy, my boy, let's finish this!" He said… only for Chompy to bite down on his butt. "YOOOOOOOOOOOW!" He yelled as he barked at him. "STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU CRAZY ANIMAL!" He yelled and ran off screaming with Chompy right on his tail.
"Well, that's one way to get rid of him." Yang said.
"For the record, I didn't really want my father to be cursed. I just wanted to boost that idiot's ego to make him easier for us to beat him." Weiss said.
"Oooh, smart thinking!" Yang said, and then suddenly, there was a bright flash of light, and the card that contained Mamar appeared.
BGM: Star Spirits Request (Paper Mario)
"Oh, it's another trading card! …I think?" Ruby asked… who earned a slap upside the head from Weiss. "Ow! I'll take that as a no." She said, as Mario went over and touched it. Mamar's prison disappeared, and Mamar herself, a Star Spirit with pink lips and a pink bow, reappeared in front of them.
"Thank you everyone. Now let's get out of here." Mamar said as they nodded and walked off.
End BGM
At Peach's castle…
BGM: Angry Bowser (Paper Mario)
Bowser and Roman walked into Peach's room. "And how's our prisoners today?" Bowser asked.
"Bored." Tiki said.
"Not to mention irritated!" Peach growled.
"What can we do to make you happy? Fluff up your pillows, give you a nice beverage…" Roman said.
"How about freeing everyone and taking my castle back down to the ground!" Peach said. "That's the only way I will not be irritated from you two bozos!"
"Look, that'll never happen." Bowser said. "You might as well stop yappin' about that. I'm already irritated that Mario and his friends took down Tutankoopa. But they'll never find the third Star Spirit, so you're going to stay here for a loooong time! Bwahahahaha!" He said as he walked off with Roman.
End BGM
"Yeesh… he's a pain." Twink said as he emerged from a closet… and wearing one of Peach's tiaras.
"I know." Peach sighed. "He treats me well, but he's such a pain sometimes, it just irritates me to no end!"
"Yeah." He nodded as Tiki went over to the closet full of tiaras.
"So… have you worn all of these?" Tiki asked.
"No, not really. I've mostly worn this one." Peach said.
"So, this is a closet of tiaras that are yet to be used." Twink said. "Why do you always want to wear that one?"
"I don't know… I've been meaning to experiment and try out new tiaras, but I never got around to that." She said, as both of them sweatdropped.
"Right… shall we try what we did a few chapters ago?" Tiki asked.
"Yeah." Peach nodded as they did the same thing as before, but as they got into the next room, they saw the diary was no longer there.
"I would've laughed if he kept it here." Twink said as they walked to the door. "I'd be careful… those Koopatrols are still… uh… patrolling the room."
"We know." Tiki said as they walked out.
"Yawn… my back is killing me." A Koopatrol said.
"Why are we out here? It's not like they'll get out or anything."
"I'd rather be playing a board game…"
"Wow… I feel sorry for them." Peach whispered as they went into the next room, which was the library and to their surprise, there were some guards patrolling the library.
"Let's see here…" A Koopatrol looked through books. "Koopa and Juliet, Diary of a Wimpy Plumber, The Polar Excess Express, the Princess and the Penguin, yeesh, a bunch of boring books!"
"You think that's bad? Try out these books!" Another said. "Toad and the Giant Peachy Peach, The Hungry Shy Guy Games, How Wario Stole Christmas… who writes these?!"
"Hey guys, come check these lame books out!" A Hammer Bro said as they ran over.
"My mother read those to me when I was a young girl… there's nothing bad about those…" Peach grumbled to herself as they snuck around a little more, until they heard a conversation.
BGM: Funny Goings-On (Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam)
"What's this now?!" A Koopatrol asked in shock.
"You heard me, there's this great huge monster just outside of Forever Forest, called Gusty Gulch… and his name is Tubba Blubba." A Hammer Bro said.
"He can't be that scary! You're making it up!"
"I wish I was. I heard he got rid of the one weakness he has… and he's invincible." He said. "Not to mention his favorite snack are Boos."
"He eats Boos?!"
"Yup!"
"And he's invincible?! No one is truly invincible!"
"Dude, he is… and he's a monster. Don't believe me? Read this newspaper!" He said, pulling it out and having the Koopatrol read it.
"…Oh my goodness, that's horrible! I'm not gonna sleep at night!"
"Mhm."
"Oh geez, this is bad." Peach whispered.
"We need to warn Mario and the others." Tiki said as they nodded as Twink leaned a little too far next to a plant and accidentally inhaled some of the pollen through his non-existent nose.
"Ah… ah… ACHOOO!"
End BGM
Both of them froze up and looked at Twink in horror. "Sorry!" He whispered.
"What was that?!"
BGM: Encounter (Metal Gear Solid)
"Uh oh!" Peach whispered. "Quick, let's go!"
"Right!" Tiki nodded as they quickly went around the library.
"I could've sworn I heard something…"
"You think it was Tubba Blubba?"
"Dude! Don't say that! We need to search this entire library! We have an intruder!" Hammer Bro said and looked at the others checking out books. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE READING! WE HAVE AN INTRUDER!"
"Oh!"
"We need to search the entire area!"
It was at this moment that when Peach, Tiki and Twink reached the door, the door swung right open and hit them, knocking them all down and KO'ing them.
"What's this about an intruder?!" A Koopatrol asked and then noticed the three. "How did they get in here?!"
"Come on, let's go." Hammer Bro said as they dragged them back to their room.
End BGM
Back at Toad Town…
BGM: Toad Town (Paper Mario)
"Well, here we are." Mario said. "Back at Toad Town."
"Well, that was quite the adventure we had." Camilla said with a smile. "Frederick, shall we get going to our date?"
Frederick nodded. "Yes, m'lady. Let us go." He said, taking Camilla's arm as they walked away, and as they did, a few people noticed them.
"Hey Beruka… is that Lady Camilla with... with... oh dear Naga!"
"What?"
"Uh... quick, hide me!" Severa said and quickly folded herself and jumped into Beruka's pocket.
"...Selena, what are you doing?"
"Let's just say that due to certain game mechanics, I miiiight have done something that maybe they shouldn't know where I am or what I did."
"...I don't follow."
"You don't have to! Agh, I'm dreading my mother finding me!"
"Who's your mother?"
"Does it matter?!"
"I'm going to find out."
"Well, either way, I am NOT going to enjoy a family reunion if I ever bump into my mother. Hell, I'm not going to enjoy ANY of my old comrades when they find out what I've done!"
"Chrom, take a look at that!" Lissa pointed to the couple.
"Huh, Frederick and Camilla are dating." Chrom said. "…Why do I feel as if my life is over?"
Back with the group…
"So, I guess you're heading off somewhere too?" Ruby asked.
Kamui smiled. "Did you not hear me? I'm staying with you guys until we finish off Bowser!"
"Oh, a permanent Fire Emblem party member. Nice!" Parakarry said. "Welcome aboard, Kamui!"
Kamui giggled. "Thank you."
"Alright, let's find the next Star Spir-"
"AIYEEEEEEEEEEE!" A voice screamed as this caught their attention as they ran over to see a Toad Guard in a fetal position. "I didn't see it… I didn't see it!"
"What's wrong?" Ruby asked.
"A G-g-g-ghost!" The Toad Guard said as they looked around for a ghost, but none showed up… until a Boo popped up. "AAAAH! THERE IT IS AGAIN!" He yelled as they turned just when it disappeared. "Ugh… why did I have to be stationed near Forever Forest… can you guys take care of it for me?"
"Well, I'm not sure we-"
"Sure, we'll do it." Mario said.
"Oh come on!" Luigi complained as they wandered into the Forever Forest, unaware that they were being watched by someone from behind.
"Oh ho ho ho! Things are getting a little crow-tastic around here! Hehehe!" This someone said as he followed them into the Forever Forest.
Now just who am I planning on joining them for Tubba Blubba? Hehehe, just wait and see!
Oh, also, Mega Man 11! This is not a joke, y'all! Coming late 2018 and releasing on the Xbox One, the PS4, the Switch and Steam! (Assuming if you weren't aware of it, that is. ;) )
Also, for the fun of it, try and guess all the books i've referenced!