I do not own Bates Motel.

But, in some ways, I do own a Dylan. And I love him so much.

Yeah, Whatever

Stuck in the Middle with You

He could see so much differently now.

He had known how horrible what Caleb had done was of course.

But being around the guy all the time had started numbing him to it.

What the hell, it's just me anyway.

And I can't keep the secret from myself, right? Just everybody else.

But now there was Emma

". . . come into the world the way we come into the world . . ."

Who was tough enough to not only handle it in short spurts . . .

Spurts, oh god, ugh,

. . . but to accept and heal him . . .

". . . not our choice . . ."

. . . a few simple, heartfelt words . . .

". . . least we're here."

. . . Dylan Massett would never forget as long as he lived.

Being around her, Will.

Seeing how normal people acted.

Treated each other.

Helped one another.

Loved one another.

Real, healthy love.

Not psycho love like Norma and Norman.

Made him want to be like that.

I want to be okay. I want to be with others that are okay.

Not perfect.

"Sorry I snored. Stupid sinus infection."

"Oh, that's okay. A few months of pregnancy and I'll be snoring like a freight train."

And he had worked on it.

Every day.

And the more he had been with them, the easier it had become.

Until now . . .

"Feeling good. What about you, Emma?"

"Great. CF free."

. . . Most days he felt like a decent, good person.

So long as . . .

If I didn't hate it and fear it so much, I'd think it sounded like a country song.

. . . he didn't think too much about Audrey's earring.

Audrey's earrings, they give me the fits, make me cry, give me the shits . . .

He sat on floor and did the best thing he could imagine.

Okay, second best thing he could ever imagine.

"Hey . . . Hey . . ."

Dylan Massett spent time with his daughter.

"Hey, Katie."

Little Katie.

Fluffy, furry blanket under her.

Cuddled up warm in her crawler.

Her hat.

He liked to touch her.

Play with the buttons on her crawler.

Adjust her hat.

Pull down her sleeves.

He liked making things better for her, making everything alright.

When she burbled and cooed and spit and kicked and squirmed, it let him know she was okay.

That she was safe and loved and well cared for.

That he was doing well by her.

Her and Emma.

Mostly.

Except for the lying, the hiding.

The past he could never get rid of.

The past that showed up from out of nowhere . . .

Maybe he'll get lost on his way from the bagel shop and never come back again.

Not . . . hurt.

Just gone

Just . . . gone.

What am I going to do, Katie?

If he stays, I'll have to lie to you forever about who he is.

Or have you know the truth.

See your precious eyes look at me like that.

I can't do it.

And I can't lie about anything else.

He had spent most of his life lying about one thing or another.

Yeah, that my stepdad, Sam. He's cool.

Oh, my mom? Yeah, she loves me.

What do I do? Oh, uh, I'm in . . . herbal agriculture.

Sometimes a myriad of lies all at once.

Bradley Martin is dead.

I didn't run over a guy with my dead friend's truck.

Norman didn't hurt Blair Watson.

Or Emma's mom.

And he just didn't want to lie anymore.

Especially to his daughter.

"Hi . . . hi . . ."

He could swear she was saying 'hi' back as she gurgled and cooed at him.

And suddenly, even better, there was Emma.

Emma.

Emma, beautiful and relaxed and simple in her flannel blue palm tree pajamas.

Flannel. Blue palm tree.

Okay.

"Good morning."

Beautiful Emma.

"You get some sleep?"

She insisted he sleep at night during the week so he could go to work and be at his best.

She, she reminded him, could sleep when Katie slept but he really shouldn't allow himself to sleep under the desk at work.

Bosses usually frown on that, she reminded him, squincing up her nose in that cute, teasing way that made him . . .

Smoosh.

. . . smile back so fondly.

So he got up early on weekends and holidays, giving Emma . . .

"Yeah, I did. And it was amazing."

. . . some much needed catchup sleep.

"Where's Caleb?"

Hopefully getting permanently lost . . .

". . . town to get some bagels and coffee."

. . . the depths of Seattle forever.

"Aww, that's sweet."

Be sweeter if he used his own money. Low funds and all.

Not dead. Not hurt.

Just . . . gone.

But . . .

". . . get the feeling he want to move here . . . to Seattle . . . to be near us."

I don't want him to, Em.

I was feeling so much better.

So much cleaner.

Emma's lovely round face was carefully blank.

"Yeah, I got that feeling too."

He gazed at her . . .

Come on, Em. Say it for me.

Say it for me so I don't have to.

But she wasn't going to.

Emma Decody Massett was a woman who was patient and loving with her flawed husband.

Patient and wise enough that sometimes she let him talk and work things out for himself.

Let him say what he needed to say.

So he would be stronger for it.

Now . . .

"I don't know what to say to him."

Other than 'hell no'.

. . . was one of those times.

"I mean, he's my dad . . ."

He's also my uncle. Urgh.

I mean, come on, right-

". . . he's trying to make an effort."

I wish he wouldn't.

"The truth is, Em . . ."

Oh hey, another secret, well, at least this one isn't a soul killer.

". . . Caleb came up with a bunch of money . . .

Beat the crap out of Chick Hogan for it.

". . . to help pay for your transplant."

It was extremely illegal and . . .

". . . really dangerous . . .

. . . they tried to kill us, Emma. I thought I would die and never see you again and then you would die too.

". . . but he did it because he knew how much I loved you."

Did you know I loved you then, Emma?

And his beloved wife's eyes softened . . .

"Really?"

. . . as she absorbed this new information regarding the man who had once repeatedly raped his own sister day in and day out.

"Yeah."

So now I feel like I owe him or something.

Because you and Katie and I wouldn't be here now if he hadn't beaten the shit out of Chick.

And stolen his money.

"He didn't want me to tell you and I didn't want to tell you . . ."

You don't owe me anything, Emma. You never owe me anything.

I owe you everything.

"I feel like we're the only family that he has . . ."

You know, 'cause who'd want to be with that-

". . . and he can't go live near Norma . . ."

I mean, seriously-

". . . how can I turn him away?"

He's alone and empty and I used to feel like that.

"I feel like I have to give him a chance . . ."

But I just really don't want to.

I have a new life here.

A normal, healthy, better life.

Better than I've ever had.

I'll be carrying him amd his secret and his burden forever, all the time of he's here.

I've been so much happier lately, Em, so much happier and free . . .

Except for Audrey . . .

". . . earring?"

. . . and cleaned out lately.

With Will.

With you.

Especially with Katie.

"I don't know . . . I just don't know . . ."

He took a breath and exhaled it out in a burst feeling like he was trying to get rid of all of the shit that just wouldn't go away just by emptying his lungs.

And then because she was another reason he was alive in this world, Dylan Massett looked down at his daughter.

His baby girl.

He couldn't figure out a way to fix the Audrey issue.

The Norman issue.

The Caleb issue.

But he could fix Katie's clothes.

Her crawler.

Her hat.

Her sleeves.

So he did that.

"I don't know, Kate . . .

I just don't know . . .

What do I do?

What indeed, huh?

Anyway, hope you are still enjoying reading! I don't know if 'enjoy' is the right word though, ha!