A/N: Hey guys, sorry it took so long to update you all! I was out of town for a few days, and this was a difficult chapter to get through. It's filled with things that we as readers may already know from Twilight, but that my Bella may not know. In case many of you haven't realized, while this follows many of the normal canon conventions, there may be slight differences so I can tell this story the way I want to. In that same vein, Bella particularly, and some of the other characters, may be OOC. Just wanted to make sure you were all aware of this before you read.

On another note, I want to thank Tarbecca for reccing this story at the Fic Dive Campfire at A Different Forest! I'm happy you liked this story enough to recommend it and I'm happy other people liked it enough to follow.

As always, these chapters are unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.

Obligatory Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight and its characters. I'm just using them.

It occurred to me that either I'd gone completely insane or he had.

Both possibilities were not incredibly comforting to me, so the first thing I did was laugh.

"You're joking, right? That's completely insane."

But my laughter cut off at the expression on his face. He looked... sad.

There was really no other way to put it. His mouth had tilted down, his golden eyes staring sadly at me.

He spoke softly now.

"Bella... I know this is difficult to understand, but look at yourself. There's blood on your shirt, and it isn't yours. You ate something, didn't you? You drank its blood. And your throat... it feels like it's burning right? You're holding it."

I blinked and looked down at my hand, where it clutched at my throat trying, I realized, to soothe the ache in there. I could vividly recall myself grasping the creature's neck, biting through its skin easily, the sweet liquid filling my mouth.

It was easier now looking at the dried, rusted stains on my shirt, to realize that the liquid had been blood, that my teeth had cut through the creature's flesh like it had been nothing. Even the smell of it still called to me, although it was less appealing in its dried state

I ran my tongue across my teeth, realizing for the first time that they felt different in my mouth. I'd had slightly crooked, not straight teeth my whole life. And they'd always felt slightly uneven in my mouth. Never in a bad way, but they were my teeth and they weren't perfect. Now they felt... different.

Smooth and straight, like someone had filed all of my teeth down to the same heights. But no pointy incisors filled my teeth like I had expected.

I tilted my head frowning.

Carlisle smiled again, the tension lifting from his handsome face and something like relief shining across his features.

"Your teeth are just very sharp, but you don't have fangs."

Then I frowned.

"But if all of my teeth are so sharp then why haven't I cut my lips or my tongue?"

His smile faltered again, and a sinking pit filled in my stomach.

"There have been... other changes. Your entire body is different now. Things that once hurt you no longer will. You will have superior senses and strength, especially as a newborn vampire. To answer your question, you could hurt your tongue and mouth, it would just take some slight effort on your part."

I felt as though I the floor was sinking beneath me and I eased myself off of the end table in the corner so I could feel the steady ground on my feet. I thought of how I had missed time, in between my thoughts to do something and my actions for them to occur - almost like I had been moving faster. How the metal doors of the warehouse had parted underneath my hands like paper.

I hadn't given much thought to them at the time, thinking that they must have been old or rusted.

But now I could easily recall the shiny metal of the doors that told me they had likely been fairly new and not old.

I could remember how the outside had briefly overwhelmed me, the sights and sounds and smells. How even now, if I focused I could smell the detergent Carlisle used, could see the strands woven into the fabric of his shirt, and hear the footsteps of other people in the house as they shuffled about.

And the pieces clicked neatly in my head like a puzzle, leading to one final answer.

I'd always been the girl who had read and watched paranormal books and movies. Finding out vampires were real wasn't completely outside of the realm of my imagination and now, knowing what I had done and seen and heard and felt, I could believe it all.

This was real.

I was a vampire

I stared at the girl in the mirror.

She stared back with scarlet eyes.

It had been jarring, seeing myself in the mirror for the first time.

Carlisle had walked me to the bathroom when I'd asked him to show me there, even though as I now knew, I didn't really need to use the toilet now ever again. There was one their house oddly enough, in their house. To keep up appearances, Carlisle informed me. Like the bed in the room, because vampires didn't need to sleep anymore.

For some reason, it was that thought that had scared me the most. There was no escaping this reality. I would be aware of it at all times.

But then, upon viewing myself in the mirror... I knew a different kind of fear.

There was someone staring back at me that I didn't even recognize. A stranger.

I fought the panic rising in my chest, squelching down. Apparently turning into a vampire didn't get rid of anxiety either.

The hair was similar, I thought, studying myself in the mirror. It was glossier, colors more saturated - but close enough. The wave to my hair was still there, only there was a distinct lack of frizz that normally would have left me pleased but instead made me feel... lost.

If my hair made me feel lost, my face made me feel worse.

I'd always been called "cute" by friends and acquaintances. I was content. I was no great beauty, I never would be, but I was okay with myself and my appearance.

The changes in my face made me feel as though they had been lying. Worse, as though I had been lying to myself.

Entire features had shifted, my nose was a different shape, my eyes slightly larger, the lips poutier. Everywhere I looked, there were changes.

I closed my eyes, willing them to go away.

If I closed my eyes I could pretend this wasn't real, could pretend that the person in the mirror was not me.

I knew tears would be pricking my eyes if I could cry, but for some reason, I couldn't.

Anxiety spiked.

I focused on my breathing.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

I steeled myself. I could do this. I could do this. My life hadn't been hard but it hadn't been easy either. I knew I could survive this.

I opened my eyes and looked, seeking out similarities instead of differences this time

On second glance, my lip shape was actually still the same.

My face was still heart shaped.

My eyes tilted up at that corners still.

I closed my eyes.

I could do this.

I left the bathroom with some degree of difficulty. When I had gripped the doorknob to open the door, it had warped and then broken off.

Normal, a voice had assured me from the living room, which I had caught easily, despite me knowing that the voice was spoken softly several rooms away.

There was something disturbing about that, knowing that others had been able to hear me quietly breaking down in the room next door.

As I stepped towards the area where the noises were coming from, they quieted more, until at last, I was there.

The room, like the bedroom and much of the rest of the house, also featured white as a primary color scheme. This time, there were more colors mixed in, cream and blue pops of color in the pillows, the rugs. A large open window cast a radiant glow across the room. It too, Beautiful, like it's occupants.

There, sitting on the couches, they waited for me.

I saw Rosalie first, my eyes seeking her out. She was as flawless as I had remembered, blond hair perfectly coiffed, and impeccable clothes. Her beauty had always seemed so impossible to me, every time I had seen her. Now it made sense. Still, even seeing her among the rest of her family she stood out.

There was Emmett, a curly haired man with intimidating muscles that I could vaguely remember visiting Rosalie in her dorm room, for the short time she had been there.

There was Carlisle, sitting in an arm chair, who smiled faintly as I walked through the doorway.

His wife, caramel-haired Esme who smiled at me from the couch beside it. The matriarch.

Then two strangers perched in the loveseat, the gifted ones.

Alice, the girl with the short black hair, the future seer.

Jasper, another blond, whose scarred body made me stiffen, even though I had been warned ahead of time. The empath.

And finally... Edward. The mind reader.

I was grateful that for once my face did not flush when I looked at him. I wondered what he had thought, hearing the things I had thought of him.

He smiled at me wryly.

"I can't read your thoughts"

I blinked.

"What?"

Carlisle cleared his throat from his armchair.

"I didn't address this before, but we've realized that you appear to have some sort of mental block. Jasper can still feel your emotions, Alice can still see your futures, but Edward for some reason cannot read your thoughts. We think it might have to do with your gift, or maybe the way you were when you were a human"

The past tense bothered me. When you were a human. Which I no longer was. No more turning back.

Still, I pushed forward with the question burning in my mind.

"Do you know who made me this way? Who made me a vampire?"

Carlisle looked uncomfortable, his legs crossing and uncrossing. Esme leaned over and gently placed her hand on his leg. The moment was so human that I couldn't help but stare.

"We don't know. We were actually just hoping that you could tell us more, tell us what happened. The transformation can take anywhere from two to five days, the pain is usually... indescribable. Are you certain that you remember none of it?"

For a moment I was at a lost. I remembered nothing. Pain? There wasn't a scrap of any of that in my mind.

Then as his words fully registered, I started.

"Two to five days? I need to call my dad tell him I'm okay. My roommates must have reported me missing. And I had a final on Tuesday, I need to email my professor."

With every word I spoke, they all began to look more and more uncomfortable, shifting their eyes away from me.

Only Carlisle would meet my gaze.

"Bella... You may not realize this because we fed you will you were under, but as a newborn your bloodlust will be unmanageable around humans. Frankly, I'm surprised you've been so coherent for so long." He paused. "But the reality of the situation is still the same. You can't be around humans"

"So what?" My voice broke. "Is the solution to let my dad think I'm dead? To let everyone think I'm dead? I only had one more quarter of college left - is my whole life over?"

My dad had been so proud me when I'd been accepted. Neither of my parents had made it all the way through college, my dad had gone straight into the police academy while my mom had been knocked up with me. My dad had asked me when my graduation was so he could take time off of work to be there.

And now he was going to think I was dead?

No.

There was no way I was going to allow this to happen.

My eyes fell upon the open window in the living room, morning light peeking through.

I could make it. I knew I could. What else was this super strength good for.

As if he could read my intent, the blond boy, Jasper started.

And I reacted instinctively, throwing him off when he launched himself at me.

One by one they came to me, but their attempts were clumsy, almost as if they were not used to taking someone down.

I threw them off easily, even the large one, Emmett could not suppress me, and darted for the open window.

The forest was lush and green.

I didn't know where I was, but I knew that if I ran far enough in one direction I could eventually find civilization. Super speed and all of that, like Carlisle had said.

What did they mean that I couldn't see my friends? Finish college? See my dad?

I could remember Carlisle's words come back to me, and slowed suddenly.

You'll slaughter them all.

I wouldn't.

This was my dad. There were my friends.

You'll slaughter them all.

The fire in my throat burned hot. Hungry. I was salivating. For them, the people I loved most.

I stopped, my hands clutching at my throat. And suddenly I didn't want to see them because I missed them. I was so hungry. They were food. I was a predator and they were prey.

And then it was all I could do to stop myself.

My breath was coming out in gasps, and then I was sobbing. Crying, but with no tears.

I let go of my throat and grabbed for the nearest tree trunk. My hands dug into the tree sinking. Anchoring myself. I knew that if I let go of this anchor, then I would run and run until I found them. And killed them.

And then he was there. Edward, murmuring in soothing tones, clutching me and tackling me to the ground.

I sobbed harder.

His arms pressed me to him in awkwardly. He clearly wasn't used to comforting someone. But I appreciated the effort nevertheless.

"I'm sorry"

His voice was soft in my ear.

I broke.

Thanks for reading! I'm worried that this chapter may have been boring for some of you, but for me it felt necessary to follow Bella's emotional state as she goes through this situation. Feel free to PM me questions or comments, or just put it on a review.

I'll try and update soon! Have a great Sunday!