A/N: first off, thanks for all the follows/favs! I hope people are enjoying the story, and if you are you should totally visit my profile and listen to the You Instead fanfic soundtrack I've compiled specifically for this story. It puts my head in the right place when I need to write rockstar!brittana. For me, music is just so imperative to creating an atmosphere so, in some ways I feel like the songs help paint the picture of this story.
X
With their previous conversation hitting a stand still Santana and Brittany made their way back to the porta potties. Santana had very nearly put herself out on the table but Brittany had stopped her, insisting that none of it mattered because any minute the cuffs would be broken apart and there would be nothing forcing them together.
Whatever was going on between them they said nothing to their band mates who all began to exit the portable stalls and take turns with Brittany's hand sanitizer. The group was about to head off again until Quinn halted them all and said she needed Brittany to join her in a potty.
''Gross, why?'' Brittany asked with confusion.
''You need to go again? Didn't you just go like two seconds ago with the rest of us?'' Dani pulled a funny face.
''I told you not to have those nachos, Q,'' Tina said sympathetically.
''They must really be running through you huh?'' Dani added with a crinkle of her nose.
Quinn gave her two bandmates the finger and then turned to speak to Brittany directly. ''No, it's nothing like that. I have a uh wardrobe malfunction and I need your help real quick.''
Brittany didn't question Quinn's request. She just sighed and did as Quinn asked, moving over to step inside the portable potty with her drummer. Because of the cuffs Santana was forced to wait just outside of the door which was cracked the tiniest bit.
Once inside Brittany wrinkled up her face. ''Why am I here?''
''What the hell is going on between you and Santana Lopez?'' Quinn asked in an intense whisper.
''What do you mean?'' Brittany whispered back.
''I mean you two have been acting strange. Are you and her…? Is something happening between you guys?''
''Why would you even say that?''
''Because you've been looking at her like you want to have her babies or something.''
''Okay first of all I did not tweet that, she did from my account. And second of all no.'' Brittany tried to play it off cool and nonchalant when in actuality she was feeling anything but.
''I'm just saying I am all for you ditching boring ass Mark. If you ask me you should've dumped his butt months ago.''
''I thought you liked Mark?''
''He's a decent human being but if we're being honest, I never really liked him for you.''
''Why not?''
''He just lives in an entirely different world than we do. He's a white collar banker. He doesn't get the industry, he doesn't get the scene, he certainly doesn't get music-then again none of your boyfriends or girlfriends ever have. It's your pattern.''
''What pattern?''
''Your relationship pattern,'' said Quinn with a roll of her eyes when she realized she was going to have to spell this out for Brittany. ''You always get involved with guys and girls who you have nothing in common with, where there's, like, no fire and no chemistry. There was whats-her-name who was an accountant, and whats-her-face who was a dog walker and then Mark the stuffy ass banker. You get with people who don't get what it means to live and breath music and then when things do end, it's like you barely blink an eye because you were never emotionally invested. You're meh about all of them because your only focus has always-always been the band and the music. It's what you do.''
''Okay,'' Brittany accepted that there was some minor truth to that. ''That might be true but what's so wrong with that. In five or ten years my priorities might change but as of right now my music is always going to come first. What's wrong with having something casual and easy that doesn't eat up my time or energy or make me think?''
''Nothing if that's what you really wanted, but is it? You do know I was trying to make a point earlier at dinner. You're always talking about how bands and artists should want to challenge not only their listeners but themselves, that's why you're always pushing us to go further with our own music, to continuously evolve to be better writers, better musicians. Some people out there can totally survive their entire lives listening to cookie-cutter-paint-by-numbers songs that mean nothing sung by people who stand for nothing, but not you. You expect more, you need more from a song than that, you expect music to set your heart on fire, you expect music to excite you. Don't you want to feel something just as big and just as consuming as that with the person you're supposed to be with?''
''Sure, don't we all?'' Brittany laughed dismissively. ''But that's not what I have right now. If someone real were to come along I might change my tune, but there hasn't been.''
''Until today right? Until Santana.''
Brittany vibrated in place. ''How many times do I have to say, I'm not into her.''
''I think you are though. Think about it, the Brittany I know would've been way more pissed off at her ruining our closing number at the show but you weren't. You might have started off unsure but by the end of that little mashup you did with her, you were looking at her differently. Seriously, passionately. Face it, even before you and Santana had those handcuffs on your wrists you were acting all weird and flustered with her.''
''You would be too, she's kind of annoying.''
''Yeah well, hate to break it to you Britt but so are you. And anyway I don't even think you're even that put off by her. If you're asking me for my opinion-''
''Which I'm not by the way.''
''I think you actually like being around her, only you just don't know how to act with someone who actually excites you, excites you the way music excites you. ''
''Fine!'' Brittany comically whisper-shouted and threw her free hand up into the air. ''Let's just say for arguments sake that you're right, let's just say that Santana excites me, let's just say that I think there's a lot more to her than meets the eye, let's just say that sharing a microphone on stage with her was one of the most amazing moments of my life, huh? Let's also say that I also think she's sorta kinda maybe the hottest person to ever hot in the history of hot, let's also say she's actually super funny and super smart when it comes to music, let's also say I think that maybe, just maybe deep down she might even be a total sweetheart underneath the sneer. I also might have noticed that she has like the most ridiculously kissable dimples I've ever seen in my entire life too. And fine, do I even need to comment on her lips which are like so perfectly plump. Let's also say that sometimes when she looks at me with those big brown eyes and gives me that stupid smirk of hers there's maybe a tiny part of me that wants to swoon. But all of that doesn't mean I'm into her.''
''Yeah,'' Quinn rolled her eyes at Brittany's obvious denial. ''All of that totally proves you're not into her.''
Her sarcastic tone was not lost on Brittany. ''Just because I can admit that she's sexy doesn't mean I'm about to get mixed up with her. Guess what, even if I wanted to she has a girlfriend.''
''Yeah well something tells me that her relationship with that model isn't exactly legit.''
''What do you mean?''
''Okay keep in mind that this is just a rumor and that I heard it from Dani who heard it from Tina who's always lurking those stupid gossip blogs - there's rumors out there that Santana and Lake are a total PR thing.''
''A PR thing?'' Brittany tried to connect the dots in her head then and it slowly began to make sense. The lack of intimacy between Santana and her 'girlfriend' when they were in the same space, how the two seemed familiar with each other but not emotionally connected. ''Like fake?''
Quinn nodded. ''Santana's one of the biggest stars in music right now, Lake's face is all over billboards and magazine ads. Alone they're totally stars but together they have the juice and the popularity to morph into some kind of power couple. Maybe they look more believable when they're on the red carpet together but from what I've seen of them up close, I'm really not buying it.''
''You really think so?''
''I think for the last however many hours it's been since you and her have been stuck together, Santana seems more interested in you than the model she's supposedly dating. Like did you notice back there at the picnic table Lake and Dani had a flirty smiley moment together and Santana didn't even blink at it. Why? Because she and Lake aren't legit.''
Brittany rubbed at her face as she tried to take all of this in and make sense of it. ''Okay, say that's true and it very may well be, there's a small problem I have with the fact that Santana apparently has a bad habit of hooking up with groupies.''
That Quinn wasn't aware of. ''Alright that would totally give me pause so I can see how that would be an obstacle but technically speaking - if this whole PR relationship rumor is true - she's single which means she's free to do what she wants and make her own choices like that. I'm not defending it, but we can't really harsh on her for it and anyway since she's been handcuffed to you has she hit on anyone else?''
''No. She's kinda just been hitting on me. Come to think of it she didn't even hit on the girl who asked her to autograph her boobs.''
''Weird.''
''Right. But what about Mark?''
''What about Mark?'' Quinn asked with a shrug.
They both startled as someone banged on the door with force.
''What are you guys doing in there?'' Tina hollered.
''Hurry up, we want to get our dance on,'' Dani added with a few more bangs to the porta potty.
Cutting their conversation short Quinn and Brittany stepped out and apologized for making the group wait. And once more the gang began their stroll. Some time later they found themselves standing at the front entrance of a tall, wide barn. It looked pristine and newly built specifically for the festival. There was a stage set up at the rear of it where a couple of DJs were set up, dropping beats as neon lights flashed all around. The place was practically filled to the brim with sweaty dancing bodies moving to the thumpa thumpa that vibrated through the crowds.
The pulsing music called to them all and soon they were making their way onto the dance floor. Each of them gave themselves over to the music as it pulsed through them, making them move and setting them free. Every few moments each of them would turn around to change partners. Sam and Tina, Tina and Quinn, Quinn and Sam, Dani and Tina, they smiled and grinned as they all circled around each other, sharing each other's company.
Because of the cuffs though Brittany and Santana found they had a little less mobility. They couldn't just hop around and switch partners every few minutes without getting tripped or tangled up. The only way they could dance would be if they danced with each other.
''We don't have to,'' Santana said.
''What?'' asked Brittany.
Santana waved to the dance floor. ''Dance.''
''Maybe I want to.''
''You do?''
''Unless you don't want to.''
''No, no, I want to.''
''Then shut up and dance with me.''
Brittany reached for Santana's hand and pulled them both further onto the dance floor. All around lights flashed and flickered rapidly as they started to move together. It didn't take long for them to find an organic rhythm with each other as the music pulsed through their every limb. They danced barely an inch or two apart, as if their bodies were just naturally molding together to move as one. It didn't feel so much like their bodies were learning each other, more like they were remembering each other.
It felt simple, it felt right. Like they had once danced together in some other life.
Perfect opposites who were somehow perfectly in sync.
And so they moved and swayed and spun, shouting and laughing and throwing their hands up when strategically placed confetti cannons went off, showering everyone on the dance floor with tiny shiny bits of paper. Whatever tension that had been left over from their last private conversation had been left behind or at the very least put on the back burner. Because when they were moving together like this, this close with their breath mingling, with their sweaty foreheads touching, whatever was between them didn't seem or feel too complicated all of a sudden.
Especially not with Quinn's words from earlier still swirling around in Brittany's head.
The more time she spent with Santana the harder it was to shake this chemical pull. Santana who could make her feel dizzy and drunk with just a touch of her hand, and maybe that did mean something Brittany began to think, but again she had to wonder if it even mattered.
Their back and forth earlier in the day had been somewhat amusing and perhaps even a little stimulating sure but it wasn't until that silly mashup on stage together that Brittany felt something inside of her shift and spark, bringing something dormant inside of her to life. It was a fire and like it or not she had to accept the fact that Santana was the one who started it. As confusing as it could be between them, it was the truth.
But the likelihood of someone like Santana not only feeling it but wanting to act on it too, Brittany just didn't see that happening. At least not in the way she would want it to. Sure, Santana seemed keen for something to go down between them but Brittany had a feeling that the only something Santana was probably capable of was a single night between the sheets.
And then what would she be left with? She'd just be another notch on the frontwoman's bed. There was no way she was going to sign up to be just another groupie or fangirl, not even for Santana.
For her, as Quinn said, it had always been simpler to date people who weren't in the business, people who didn't feel music in their bones because it was just so much easier to disengage and move on when it inevitably ended. And it always ended, not because any of her past partners were horrible people, but rather because they were all passionless people. If she never dated anyone she felt passionate for there was never any risk of losing herself or her heart.
She had never felt that kind of silly and spirited mad love for anyone but had come to the conclusion that it wasn't so bad, because at the very least she had her music. There were worse things she could devote her entire life to she thought.
Never in a million years would she ever think she would begin to question this way of life because Santana freaking Lopez.
But here she was.
There they were.
Brittany felt her heart pulling and pushing her in a million different directions. She wanted more of Santana while at the same time she wanted to get as far away from her as possible because as thrilling as all of these new feelings were to her, they were also terrifying.
This dance of theirs could get dangerous but she couldn't stop herself from wanting it, especially when Santana leaned in to whisper into her ear, tickling it ever so slightly with her breath, with her lips. ''You're a really good dancer.'' Santana said.
''I know,'' Brittany said, all cute and cocky like.
''Is this okay?'' Santana put her hands on Brittany's hips, driving her own against her, adding some subtle yet delicious pressure between their bodies.
Stunned by the movement and more than a little turned on Brittany nodded yes dumbly.
''I meant what I said earlier,'' Santana continued speaking into her ear. ''Screw genres, screw everything else.''
''Right,'' Brittany said, their bodies still moving together perfectly. ''And then what? You and me get between the sheets but what happens tomorrow morning when the smoke clears and the excitement goes away? I'm not some fangirl or groupie.''
''I know you're not. You're not like the other girls I waste my time with.''
''So why do you do it? Why be with them?''
''Because it's easy. Because I don't have to think when I'm with them. They don't expect anything of me because they don't really want me. They don't want Santana Lopez the person, they want Santana Lopez, the celebrity, the rockstar, the whatever. They want the girl in the magazine spreads and the music videos, but that's it. The girls I hook up with on the road, all they're really in it for is a good story. Something they can go back and tell their friends about.''
''And what about you, what are you in it for?''
''Truth?''
''Truth.''
Santana looked down, almost embarrased. ''I get to not feel lonely for a night. For a night I can pretend that I'm perfectly happy with my life and my career and what The Make is doing. They get something out of it, and I get something out of it.''
''And that makes you happy?''
''No, but it kills the time and time is something I have a lot of when I'm on the road.''
''I know the feeling.''
''But today...with you, it doesn't just feel like killing time. Even when we're talking to each other through the door of a porta potty or when you're trying to get me to eat fondue or when we're stage rushing someone else's concert together. None of it feels empty with you Brittany. You kind of make everything feel like an adventure.''
Taken back by all of the sincerity pouring out of Santana and intoxicated by how close their bodies were sliding against each other with every movement Brittany couldn't find the words. It was so very tempting, the thought of giving in, of giving Santana any kind of power over her heart.
''Say the word and I'll give you a night you'll never forget,'' Santana said in a clear and wholehearted way that let Brittany know, she meant more than just sex.
Brittany reached up to touch a tan cheek. ''This is insane. In what world would me and you ever make sense?''
''In this world. What are you so afraid of?''
''We've known each other for six hours and you want me to, what?'' Brittany laughed, not because the thought was so ridiculous, but because she couldn't believe she was considering it. ''Just toss my relationship out the window for the off chance that you and I could ever be anything...real?''
''I didn't say there wasn't a risk involved, because there is. Look I can't promise you some fairytale because that's not the world we live in. Me and you could go up in flames. You could break my heart or I could break your heart, those are just two possibilities here. We don't know what could happen or could be but we at least have to find out because however this ends it has to be better than this beautiful, painful, undefined inbetween.''
Brittany swallowed and stared into brown eyes. It sounded so easy and beautiful when Santana put it like that. ''And if it doesn't work?''
''We'll at least be able to say we took the chance, even if it's just one night. Cause I know I could go through life screwing groupies with abandon and you could sleep through your life being some stuffy banker's other half - but I don't see the challenge in that, do you?''
Brittany opened her mouth as if about to say something when she felt her and Santana's bodies collide with something, or rather someone. Two someone's two be more specific.
Mark and Lake. The two of them had found their way into the party and onto the dance floor and had apparently been pushed and tossed around through the crowds until they quite literally bumped into Brittany and Santana, who straightened themselves, pulling their hands and bodies away from each other when they realized who it was.
''Hey, you, uh, made it,'' Brittany said stiffly.
''What happened to the bolt cutters?'' Santana asked.
''Didn't quite pan out,'' Lake answered.
Mark shook his head in the negative. ''We'll have to try again in the morning. I'll make another call and arrange another delivery.''
And then with a raised eyebrow and an expression that looked more amused than possessive Lake questioned. ''How long have you two been dancing?''
''Not long, just a few songs actually,'' Brittany said.
''Your girlfriend really knows how to get down on the dance floor.'' Attempting to deflect attention on just how close she and Brittany had been moments ago Santana addressed Mark with a polite if forced smile. ''She's got some killer moves.''
''I wouldn't know, I don't like dancing,'' said Mark.
''Of course you don't,'' Santana let out a tired laugh. As much as Santana was ready to quit playing at this double date nonsense she wasn't going to force Brittany's hand. If she had to grin and bear it then she was going to grin and bear it. ''How about the four of us hit up a bar in the corner then?''
''I'm down for another drink,'' Lake offered.
Brittany nodded but with little enthusiasm. ''Why not.''
''To be honest I think I want to just call it a night.'' Mark threw a soft and pleading look at Brittany and reached for her hand, the one handcuffed to Santana. The way he tugged on her though wasn't very affectionate, it was more clingy than anything else. ''...and I was hoping you'd want to come with me.''
On her part Brittany looked conflicted. ''Well, I would but it's just that we kind of just got here. Quinn and the girls are somewhere out there doing their thing…'' she threw a nod to the rest of the floor and the hundreds of people dancing upon it. ''Plus I don't even know if Santana's tired. If I go to bed that means she has to go to bed and-''
''Well I'm your boyfriend and I'm tired,'' Mark said pointedly. ''I just walked for an hour straight trying to track down bolt cutters to set you free.''
''I didn't ask you to,'' Brittany countered.
''Right. Well. Excuse me for trying to help.''
Brittany flinched. ''If it's that big of a deal to you then, fine. We'll call it a night. Let's go to bed.''
Lake and Santana just shrugged in unison. Wherever Brittany went, Santana had to go, and where Santana went, Lake felt like she was required to follow. Neither of them looked like they wanted to step in the middle of what looked like the beginnings of a tiff between Brittany and her boyfriend who was clearly growing more agitated by the minute.
The four of them shuffled their way through, pushing and squeezing past other people letting loose. They were getting nudged and tousled and manhandled about within in the sea of people.
''Wait hold up,'' Brittany searched her vest pockets with her free hand and came up empty handed.
Santana studied her. ''What's up?''
''I lost something.'' Brittany furrowed her brows and cursed inwardly. ''My lucky pick. It's not in the pocket I put it in earlier.''
''Are you sure?'' Lake asked with genuine concern.
''Must've fell out somewhere back there.'' Santana threw a nod to the dance floor they had just trudged through.
''Fuck,'' Brittany sighed, saddened.
''It's okay, we'll go back and look,'' Santana offered and tugged on the cuffs lightly to get Brittany's attention, encouraging her to backtrack. ''We'll find it.''
''What for? You'll never be able to see it,'' Mark grouched harshly and put a hand on Brittany's shoulder to try to lead her forward and further away. ''It's a piece of plastic, it's nothing.''
''Well it obviously means something to her,'' Santana challenged him. ''If Brittany wants to go look for it, we can go look for it, it's not a big deal.''
''What does a pick even cost?'' Mark asked, completely unmoved by her argument. ''Fifty cents? A dollar? What? We're all really going to go back into that…'' he pointed off to the swarms of dancing bodies. ''To look for something meaningless? No.''
''I'm going back,'' Brittany announced, not even giving his words thought.
''Brittany,'' Mark said as if his tone alone would change her mind.
''I said I'm going. You don't have to help me look for it if you don't want to.'' Brittany hollered and turned her body to start back. Santana of course went with her.
Lake turned to Mark and attempted to give him a sympathetic look but he didn't appear to care. ''Why don't we just both go wait outside while they look?''
''No, because you know what, I'm tired, I'm exhausted and I just want to get out of here and go to bed with my girlfriend but apparently some stupid piece of plastic is more important to her than that.''
Mark turned and stormed off to make his way out of the building which left Lake standing alone.
''Fine, be a dick about it,'' she said to no one but herself.
From a distance she watched as Brittany and Santana disappeared back into the sweaty faceless crowd.
After a half hour of waiting alone at the door Lake gave up and ventured off to the bar set up at one side of the barn by herself where she ordered and drink and then found herself elbow to elbow with Dani who as it happened was standing beside her. And then as if sensing that she was feeling a little out of her element Dani suggested that the two of them share a drink together. With a genuine look of relief Lake accepted her offer. And then one drink turned into two, and two to three and they found they had a natural ease with each other, chatting and goofing about and animatedly laughing over their colorful fruity little drinks.
''Wait, you're really on a roller derby team?'' Lake asked, lighting up at the very thought.
''Uh not just any roller derby team. State champions!'' Dani exclaimed with a cute fist pump.
''That's so weird and cool. How do you find the time what with the band and all?''
''I make time. As much as I love the band and everyone it, because don't get me wrong I totally do, I don't want it to be my everything,'' Dani explained. ''I love music and I love playing but I see how driven and focused some people are-''
''Like Santana and Brittany?''
''Yeah and I totally respect that but it's not my entire life. If I wake up one day and feel like I want to take up scuba diving or rock climbing or start writing Fifth Harmony fanfiction then I will.''
Lake cracked up and threw her tiny drink umbrella at Dani who caught it and then with a flourish of her hand playfully tucked it into Lake's hair.
''Don't judge! But really, for some people in the industry that's all they do, eat, sleep, breathe music but I like to keep myself open and free,'' Dani continued and tucked a strand of hair behind Lake's ear. ''Like you're a model, right, but I'm sure that's not all you are. You probably have a ton of things that fill up your life, not to mention you must have a ton of stories and adventures right.''
''I have a few crazy stories in my back pocket, yeah, but nothing wild, nothing amazing. There's things I want to do too but I don't know, I never felt like I could.''
''Like what?''
''Like take a sewing class. I work in fashion but sometimes I think it might be interesting if I understood more about the construction of clothes. Maybe it would give me another way to work in and explore my industry.''
''Then you should. Buy a how to book, take a class, go for it.''
''What if I suck at it though?''
''So you suck at it, at least you tried something different,'' Dani encouraged her sweetly. ''At least you challenged yourself.''
Lake smiled. ''...you challenge me.''
Dani looked surprised but delighted to hear that. ''Really? I...huh...but I mean, I'm sure Santana does too.''
''Not really,'' Lake was honest. ''It's not that she doesn't care, it's more like she's not interested in those parts of me.''
''You mean the important parts of you.'' Dani wasn't trying to be insulting to Santana but it didn't sound like she was the most involved girlfriend in the world.
''Yeah well, Santana and I aren't like most couples.''
''How exactly?''
Lake looked intently at Dani who seemed so genuinely and honestly interested in her as a person and felt a certain kind of ease. ''If I tell you something about me and Santana...can you promise to keep it a secret?''
Dani lifted her hand and pretended to seal her lips shut with a lock. ''My lips are sealed.''
X
Once Brittany mapped out the area of the dance floor she was pretty certain she lost her lucky pick within Santana and Brittany went down on their hands and knees in their search for the small object. The task was like finding a needle in a haystack, or rather a guitar pick in a haystack. And the fact that it was dark and people were dancing and jumping all around them didn't make it any easier. When they weren't lightly swatting at people's legs when they were almost getting stepped on then they were intricately trying to crawl through legs without getting squashed.
''You didn't have to do this,'' Brittany said as she sifted through the debris on the ground but found it was only confetti and random bits of trash.
''Kind of did. Handcuffs remember,'' Santana said as she inspected her own section of the floor.
''Still.''
''I'd help you even if we weren't still stuck together. I mean your boyfriend was so obviously not going to.''
Brittany was almost stepped on by a pair of high heels but managed to just barely dodge them. ''I can imagine what you have to say about him now''
''At this point I don't think I have to say anymore. If something is so important to you that you're willing to crawl around on your hands and knees to look for it and he's not here giving you a hand...whatever.'' Santana sighed. She wasn't going to waste her breath on the matter when it was so crystal clear to her. And if Brittany couldn't see it or simply refused to see it, she couldn't fight that.
''I know. I know. He doesn't get me,'' Brittany said finally out loud to herself for the first time. ''He never has.''
''Then why don't you do something about it?''
''You mean dump him for you?''
''I mean dump him for yourself. You asked me earlier why I hook up with groupies on the road and I was honest. Because it's easy, because I need to kill time, because I'm lonely. I'm betting those are all the same reasons why you're still with him, even though you told me yourself you barely see him and obviously have nothing in common with each other.''
''It's not exactly the same.''
''They're hollow connections, Brittany. He's a hollow connection.''
''Don't you think I know that? Deep down I've always known that.''
''Then why are you holding on?''
''Because the thought of letting go is fucking scary, okay. Why aren't you scared?"
"I am scared,'' Santana laughed and slapped at someone's pair of boots. ''I'm scared out of my mind because...because I like you. I'm scared because I think you have, like, the prettiest eyes I've ever seen and trust me, the color of a girl's eyes isn't something I usually spend a lot of time dwelling on. I'm scared because you call me on my crap and you give it right back to me when I really need to hear it in a way no one ever has. I'm scared because most of the time girls are the ones chasing after me and I'm apparently into you enough to get down on my hands and knees in a freaking barn because you lost something important to you. I'm scared because I've never felt this way about any girl I've ever known. But the thing I'm most scared of is never finding out if it means anything.''
Brittany blinked as the realization hit her head on. It was then she knew what she had to how and who she had to say it to.
''But this isn't about me,'' Santana carried on talking. ''This is about you and what you want. If that's what you really want...if he's who you really want-''
''He's not,'' said Brittany, finally giving up on pretending. ''He's not what I want.''
Still on the floor, on hands and knees on top of trash and bits of confetti, still surrounded by people's legs jutting and kicking out Santana looked straight into Brittany's eyes. ''What do you want?''
''I want you instead.''
X
''Do you know where we're going?''
''Sorta-kinda, just trust me, Mike.''
Sugar and Mike had been roaming through the grounds somewhat aimlessly as they kept their eyes open for any sightings of Brittany and Santana but with a festival this size and with tens of thousands of people walking about enjoying the expansive event, they hadn't had much luck. That is until Sugar realized she could use social media as a way to roughly triangulate their location.
''We lost them for a little while but I really think I might have a handle on figuring out where they are now.'' As they strolled about together Sugar pulled out her cell phone and made it dance at her side.
Mike shut down his small handheld camera and placed it securely in a case which he then slung around his shoulder. ''How exactly are you going to do that?''
''Well, if we were looking for two nobodies here we'd be outta luck, but Santana and Brittany aren't nobodies. They both have an online presence,'' she explained. ''And they're both walking around a huge public event which means people and fans are probably spotting them and posting about it online.''
''Like on Twitter and Instagram?''
''Exactly, my friend. See,'' Sugar squeaked as she looked through the Santana Lopez tag on Instagram and found a couple dozen photos posted from various fans at multiple different vantage points. Most however were of poor quality and had obviously been taken from a distance to show Santana, Brittany and the rest of their group sitting and eating at a picnic table while in a deep discussion. A couple more showed Brittany and Santana standing about in front of a fire pit engaged in what looked like an intense one on one discussion. Then there were a few more posted from a handful of fangirls who had apparently went in and actually approached Santana to get selfies and autographs. Brittany had been caught in the background of a few of those pictures, and she didn't look too pleased by the girls fawning over Santana either. From there Sugar turned to Twitter to look through each of the rockstars tags. There fans had tweeted numerous sightings of them with brief but helpful descriptions as to which direction the handcuffed pair were moving in. It was difficult but Sugar was persistent and managed to somehow make sense of all the pictures and sighting claims. She created a sort of mental map tracking the rockstars movements.
''So have you ever done anything like this before?'' Mike asked.
''Stalked celebrities? Of course not,'' Sugar laughed as she continued to study the screen of her phone. ''I mean unless you count the restraining order Zac Efron put out against me but I don't like to talk about that.''
''What?''
''What?''
Mike shook his head about, trying to get back to his original inquiry. ''No I mean, have you ever 'shipped' real people together before? I have to be honest, that kind of thing wigs me out. It's totally weird.''
''You're totally weird. But to answer your question, no I haven't.''
''So what can I expect from you after this?'' he teased. ''I won't catch you secretly writing RPF starring Brittany and Santana at your desk in the middle of a work day now will I?''
''Que?''
''I bet I will. You'll probably write really angsty fic about them won't you? Or maybe fluff? Nah, you know what, I bet you'll probably write AUs. You'll probably write a really wacky, zany highschool AU and make them both, like, popular cheerleaders who occasionally burst out in song. You so would, that is so you. Face it, this whole quest of yours is just the beginning of your downward spiral.''
''Very funny.'' Sugar rolled her eyes and smiled at his nonsense before going back to examine her phone screen once more. ''Okay so according to some chick who's selling bongs out of a tent she tweeted that she saw Brittany walk past her heading west in this direction, and then according to some dude bro's Insta they have a blurry shot of someone who looks a lot like Santana walking into a barn-''
''Like that?''
Mike held his hand out to gently halt Sugar and get her attention. With a nod he motioned up ahead of them where there was indeed a barn. It appeared to be buzzing with life, slightly muted beats could be heard coming from the inside of it and threw a few windows they could see lights flicking on and off rapidly. There was definitely some kind of show going on inside of the building.
''Do you think they're in there?'' Mike asked.
''I'm not sure, I mean Twitter and Instagram could've totally steered me wrong but doesn't that look like Brittany's boyfriend standing at the front doors,'' Sugar noted. ''If he's around then that means they probably are too. Let's-oh fuhhh-get down!'' she hissed, pushing herself and Mike down and over towards a large wooden storage crate placed nearby. They crouched behind the object and watched as Brittany and Santana walked out of the front entrance and stood underneath the handful of light fixtures placed at the doors. Sugar poked Mike in the side and mouthed 'camera!' at him. He hurriedly pulled his camera out of his bag,turned it on and then being very careful to not be spotted placed it just above the crate so they were in frame and on cam.
They were far enough away that they wouldn't be spotted but still somehow just barely close enough to hear what was being said. Mike and Sugar went completely silent and watched the scene in front of them take place.
''Did you find your pick?'' Mark asked.
''No,'' Brittany answered. ''And I'm sorry.''
''For making me wait while you looked for it?'' the man asked.
''No,'' Brittany said. ''No, for wasting your time. For wasting my own time. I'm sorry I let this go on for as long as I did.''
Mark set his jaw as he realized Brittany was indicating something else. He looked to Santana at her side and then back to Brittany. ''What are you talking about?''
''I'm talking about me and you.'' There didn't appear to be any pain or anger in Brittany as she spoke clearly, firmly. It was calm, it was a peaceful realization for her.
''What about me and you?''
''This isn't how I ever wanted to do this, and I'm sorry Santana has to be here when I say this to you but she is and I just need to get it out. You're a nice guy, Mark. You're not a bad boyfriend. You call when I need you to call and you give me space when I need you to give me space but...but you're like elevator music.''
''I don't understand what you're trying to say.''
''Exactly,'' said Brittany. ''Because you've never understood me or my band or what I do. You're elevator music. Elevator music. You know when you walk into a building and step inside an elevator, they're always playing some really tired, bland music. Elevator music is just there, it's just noise, it's easy to tune out, sure it's fine and harmless and you don't mind it but it doesn't make you feel anything. Or at least it doesn't make me feel anything.''
''I'm elevator music,'' Mark said, his chest rising as her words finally registered with him. ''I make you feel nothing?''
''I'm sorry,'' Brittany said again.
''You…'' Mark looked at Santana. ''This is about her isn't it? She said something, she talked you into this.''
''This isn't about Santana,'' Brittany insisted. ''This is about me. This is me telling you I don't want to be together anymore, because me and you were never really together, we were just killing time.''
''You didn't seem to mind killing time with me before you got handcuffed to her though! Is this because I didn't make it to your show, or because I wouldn't go looking for that stupid worthless pick?''
''Sort of. Like I get that a pick is just a piece of plastic to you but it's something that was important to me and because of that I thought maybe just maybe something that was important to me would in turn be important to you. Or at least it should be. But it's not and that's okay.''
''You know, I could buy you a thousand picks to replace that one right?''
''It isn't about the pick itself, it's about what it represents. It's about what it means to me. If you don't get that, then you don't get me.''
''Right, right,'' Mark seethed. ''This is how you're ending it. Over nothing. Over her. Santana. Over some fucking rockstar who everyone knows can't keep it in her pants. She cheats on Lake you know. Whatever you think you have, she'll do the same to you.''
''Screw you,'' Santana said, unable to keep silent any longer.
''Hey, you know what, you don't know her,'' Brittany said to Mark.
''And you do? You've been handcuffed to Santana for a few hours? You don't know what she is, you don't know who she is. I mean if I'm elevator music then what is she?''
''Do you really want to know?''
''Yeah, I really want to know.''
''You don't have to explain yourself to him,'' Santana said to her, only to be shrugged off by Brittany.
''No, he wants to know so I'll tell him,'' Brittany said. ''Santana's like...she's…she's the song on the radio that makes you want to take the long way home. She's the song on the radio you can't wait to hear again because it's catchy and it's fun and it makes you want to sing and move. It imprints itself on your heart. It makes you feel something in your bones. She's the kind of song that...when you finally pull up into your driveway you just sit in the parked car waiting for it to finish before you get out because it's that good, because you want to just sit and let it wash over you, you don't want to waste a second of it. She's that to me.''
From a distance, still hidden away from sight Sugar and Mike exchanged loaded glances as they realized what they were witnessing and what they were getting on camera. Brittany was breaking up with her boyfriend.
Faced with the sincerity of Brittany's words Mark could only accept them. He looked hurt and frustrated and about a million other things, but after that he didn't fight it, he didn't plead, he just let her words stand in the air between them.
''Then good luck,'' he said bitterly to both of them before stalking away and out of frame.
And with Brittany's now ex-boyfriend gone from the picture, she and Santana exhaled almost in unison. It had been so very uncomfortable having to break up with someone while you were handcuffed to someone else you were growing attached to. And for Santana it hadn't actually been the most pleasant thing to have to witness either because as much as she didn't care much for Mark it was painful to watch him twitch and squirm like that.
''I'm sorry you had to do that,'' Santana said.
''I'm not. I mean it would've happened sooner or later even if you weren't in the picture,'' Brittany reasoned. ''You and the handcuffs kind of helped it along and gave me the push I needed but this was my call. Like you said I had to do this for me. I never felt anything real for him.''
''I do care about you. I'm not used to feeling that but I do. And as for that stuff he said about me and Lake, it's not true, not exactly anyhow. I've been trying to tell you something-''
''Oh my god you're from The Dirty Pinks!''
''Santana Lopez!''
''Brittany, Brittany, can I get a selfie?!''
Santana and Brittany both turned and saw a drove of fans coming at the both of them. This time it wasn't just a handful of fangirls that had spotted them, it looked like the crowd was 50 plus strong heading their way.
''Shitfuck,'' Santana groaned at having to put off this conversation yet again. ''Okay I suggest we get out of here and make a run for it unless you want to spend the next hour giving selfies and signing boobs.''
''Hey I'm a single girl now, I could be down for signing some boobs,'' Brittany said with a grin.
''Look if you come with me and let me explain something to you about me and Lake I'll let you sign my own boobs!'' Santana started them both off into a light jog.
Brittany followed, sprinting just a step behind her. ''Okay that I might be down with. Are we talking over the bra or under the bra?''
''I'm not wearing a bra.''
''Deal!''
And off they want, making a mad dash before they got swarmed by their collective fans.
Sugar and Mike watched them disappear as they ran hand in hand, zig zagging behind tents and various attractions until they were tiny specks blending in with the rest of the festival patrons. The swarm of fans eventually disbursed when they too lost sight of them.
With astonishment Sugar and Mike turned to each other.
''You were right,'' Mike said, amazed. ''Brittany just...and they just...they're totally falling for each other.''
''Duh.'' Sugar smiled so very proud and pleased. ''Now come on, let's go try to find them again.''
''Wait, but I thought you got what you wanted. I mean you didn't get anything juicy or sexy but Brittany just clearly broke up with her boyfriend for Santana. Isn't that footage good enough?''
''Mike.'' Sugar went to place her hands on each of his shoulders and gently shook him back and forth. ''The night is young and something tells me this is far from over just yet. Now get your camera and let's go, we still have a story to follow, also I want a churro because all of this investigative journalism is totally making me hungry.''
X
A/N: just a note to say that there's still plenty of night left in this story, and just because one obstacle is out of brittana's way doesn't mean everything is tied up in a nice little bow, so stay tuned ;) also if you are enjoying this fic drop me line or review, feedback gets the juices flowing...wanky.