A/N: Hi all! It's been a long time I know, but as I've promised in the past I am not abandoning this story! I'm thinking it's going to end somewhere around chapters 16/17, so please stick with me for that! It's a pleasure writing Nate and Jenny because I love them so much. I hope this chapter makes up for the time it's taken to update. Onward!

Pay It Forward

There was something most gratifying about waking up in your own home, Jenny mused the following week. It was a Tuesday, much like any other Tuesday so far; she'd slept in late, dragged herself finally to the kitchen for a coffee and some waffles, raced through her emails and text messages - mostly Blair, adamant that Jenny not forget the meetings scheduled for the afternoon. It had become her routine, and she was happy within it. Dan had stopped by a couple of times, Eric had checked in, even Chuck and Blair gave her home their blessing; Blair had, of course, remarked upon how the colour scheme was incredibly 'kitsch'. The term itself gave away Blair's lie. She'd never use that word in good faith. But Jenny wasn't perturbed. She was home, and she loved it.

Which is shy she hated the itchy feeling in the back of her mind that plagued her morning, noon and night. Something is missing, she's sure her heart would say, only to be silenced by her head as best it could, whilst Jenny saw to more pressing matters such as work and moving and family gatherings.

She'd thrown herself into her new role as President of Creative at Waldorf; thus far it entailed even more time on the job than when she'd been head designer, but she wasn't bothered about that. If nothing else, it gave her time to ignore the voice in her head muttering about how the apartment needed more lift in it; more light, more noise. Someone else.

Her time was divided between meetings and sample shows, conference calls with the offices over the world and dealing with unhappy suppliers. Most of all, her time was spent agreeing or disagreeing over colours, patterns and fabrics, with her - mercifully - having the final say. It was during one of these debates that her phone beeped with a new message and, thankful for the respite from the argument with a particularly pushy associate stylist, Jenny excused herself for a moment to the ladies room.

She whipped her phone out of pocket with the intention of informing whoever it was that she'd get back to them in more detail later that day, perhaps on her lunch break. But the unrecognisable number at the top of her screen, next to the little green bubble, gave her some pause. The text message even more so.

You don't deserve your perfect life. I can't wait to take it all away.

Her breath caught in her throat and she dropped the phone into the sink. With shaking hands, Jenny pushed the hair from her eyes, then braced herself against the counter top. The girl looking back at her in the mirror suddenly didn't look like her; this girl who'd tried to run from her past, who'd made peace with it and returned for a new start to the place where it had all gone wrong before… that's who the girl in the mirror was. And Jenny didn't like the sight of her. How happy she'd been and now, suddenly, with one text message, how things had changed.

How she only wanted things to be simply.

How could she have forgotten that on the upper east side, things were never so?

It was Chuck that she went to first.

When she'd shown him the text, his first response had been to contact his personal investigator, with a view to finding out who was on the other end of the number. By the time the call had come in that the phone was a burner fifteen minutes later, Jenny felt cold all over where she sat in Chuck's office. He'd poured her a scotch when she'd arrived but she had yet to touch it.

'I don't understand why this is happening.'

'It's someone with a vendetta.' Chuck explained, though she'd had her suspicions beforehand. 'What we need is a list of possible suspects.'

The idea made Jenny's stomach curl with despair. Since her original return to Manhattan she thought she'd made peace, thought she'd apologised enough to the all the people that mattered. Since travelling around the world for Waldorf Designs, she assumed she hadn't burned bridges. She hadn't ever let anyone close enough to really hurt them. Not until Carter.

'Carter,' she whispered, but it was just loud enough that Chuck heard and began compiling a list on his desk.

'We know that Baizen released those photographs of you and Nate out of revenge; he thought there was an affair, he's had a long-time rivalry with Nate and the two of you have always been more than just friends.'

Jenny didn't bother to argue.

'What we don't know is why would he behave in this way? It was my belief that Carter was untrustworthy, but from the way he behaved at your birthday, arriving and kissing you the way he did, from all reports in the media before the incident, he really might've cared.'

'He did,' Jenny clarified. She felt herself growing emotional, a tight lump in her throat making it hard to speak on the subject. She hated Carter for what he did, but she hadn't always. Chuck looked curiously at her.

'His feelings were real, and so were mine.' She recalled the moment she'd said she loved him for the first time, a speech spoken for a pair of ears and a heart that did not belong to Carter at all. 'For the most part,' she added at length, meeting Chuck's eyes across the room.

'Is it tangible that he still wants revenge for how it all ended?'

Jenny scoffed. 'He ended it! He released those pictures, he put Nate's career in jeopardy; he's the reason Nate and I could barely be in the same room before now.'

She listened to herself as she spoke, the words tasting justified on her tongue. Yes, she hated Carter for what he had done to her, but even more than that, as ridiculous as it was, she hated him more for what he'd done to Nate. In another life, she knew that she might have forgiven him; in a world where Nate Archibald didn't exist, Jenny was sure this would never have happened and she and Carter might have made it.

But she could never live in a world where Nate Archibald didn't.

'You know Baizen better than I do, Jenny. Better than all of us. Is it possible he's behind this?'

Jenny closed her eyes, reliving moments and memories that she had tried to store away in the back of her mind, closed in a box that she'd never have to open because it hurt. Not because she'd loved Carter - she was sure now that she hadn't - but because she'd been such a fool. Such a fool to let herself get to caught up in a relationship that would never have worked in the end. True, they were the same; both banished, both betrayed, both not made for the world they wanted to badly to be accepted by. And in their similarity was their attraction.

But things were different now.

Jenny was home. She was loved, accepted, revered for who she was. And Carter was never going to be part of her happy ever after.

It was as though a switch had been flicked in her brain. She felt more clearly now than she ever had. She saw in brighter colour, felt in deeper ways. And at the centre of it all was one, shining, obvious, inevitable conclusion.

There had only ever been one man to take up the mantle of her soulmate; one person with whom she knew, deep down, that she'd always known, could share in her finale of sorts. One man with which she saw a long, loving, thrilling, brilliant future.

And she'd let him go.

'Jenny?' Chuck touched her arm.

She hadn't realised he'd crossed the room. When she looked up at him, she noted the concern in his face and was brought back to the moment at hand. All at once it didn't seem to matter anymore. All at once, there was only one thing she knew she needed to figure out.

Whether or not it was too late.

Nate was not in his office, nor was he in his apartment. Jenny felt immediately defeated; the gust of bravery on which she'd blown out of Chuck's office had carried her to both destinations, ready to proclaim her a fool, a mockery, a total failure at being able to read her own feelings. She's been so, so ready. At last. And he was nowhere to be found. As she walked the length of the hallway back to the main entrance of his apartment building, she felt her mood beginning to wallow in itself. The ring of her cell made her heart leap, and she didn't bother looking to see who was calling.

'Hello?'

'Don't hang up,' said the voice on the other end of the phone.

Agnes. Jenny felt a chill in her spine immediately, but found that she did as she was asked.

'How did you get my number?'

'Nate. I ran into him the other day and we got to talking -'

'Nate would never talk to you,' Jenny all but spat, stopping to lean against the wall of the hallway. The doorman looked back at her, curious, as he knew she didn't live there. She held up a finger by way of apology.

'Jenny, please listen. I explained everything to him; how much of a mess I'd made of our friendship, how I don't deserve your forgiveness but want it so much. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for all that I did, all that I said.'

'I don't believe you.'

'Then let me show you,' Agnes said on the other end, sounding hopeful. Jenny hated that she felt her own resolve weakening.

'I know I've made a mess. But I want to fix it.' There was a pause, and what sounded like Agnes taking a deep breath. 'I was hoping you would meet me for coffee. You can choose when and where. I just really want to make it up to you.'

Her lack of resolve and wanting to see the good in people led her to Fred's later that afternoon, a coffee place in downtown Manhattan that she'd come to frequent since moving home. As she made her way to the door, trying to prepare for seeing Agnes for the first time since their run-in weeks before, Jenny wondered what on earth she would say. What should she say? Did she say anything?

Pushing the door open, Jenny decided she'd let Agnes start. She was the one who wanted the meeting after all.

And there she was; dressed in green print pants and a black t-shirt, with black heels to match, Agnes looked as stunning as ever. Jenny noticed the engagement ring once more on her finger, though it didn't look as she remembered it. Jenny could have sworn that stone had been a different shape -

'Thank you for coming,' Agnes said then, standing from the booth she'd been saving for them in the corner. Jenny noticed there was a latte waiting on the table for her, but forwent it and ordered a flat white from a passing waitress instead.

'You'll forgive me if I don't drink something you give me, not after the last time,' Jenny said, sliding into the booth as Agnes sat down once more.

'Of course,' Agnes replied, sliding the latter back to herself. Jenny saw that she'd drunk one already.

Jenny shed her jacket and sat back into the leather fabric of the booth bench. She watched Agnes with quiet curiosity, and the other girl did the same in return. It was as though they were a pair of lionesses, circling one another, waiting to see who would pounce first. Jenny decided it wouldn't be her; it would be better to wait for the advantage. Better to wait for Agnes to slip up. She was bound to.

'I'd planned what I was going to say,' Agnes said, chuckling as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. Jenny took note of the chipped nail polish and the still-split ends on the girl's curls. Considering she'd been a model and possibly still was, Agnes didn't look her best.

'Now that you're here I feel like there's nothing that could do justice to what I did wrong.'

Jenny said nothing, did nothing. She allowed her gaze to bore into Agnes, to make her feel small and insecure and frightened. Jenny wanted her to feel every bit as vulnerable as Agnes had made her feel all those years ago, before Nate had come to save her. Before everything went to terribly wrong at last.

'I know there's nothing I can say that will make it right,' Agnes admitted. She kept her gaze on the table between them, clearly unable to meet Jenny's.

It made Jenny feel powerful. It made her feel like she was winning. It made her feel like the old Jenny; cold, calculating, playing games with people's feelings to make herself feel better -

Jenny blinked.

She didn't want to be that Jenny.

She hadn't been for a long time, and had vowed never to be again. When Agnes finally lifted her gaze, Jenny saw that her eyes were wet with tears. Jenny didn't feel powerful then; she felt monstrous.

'Agnes -'

'I was writing up the guest list for my wedding; my fiancé is a stickler for old friends and family from way back, says they play a huge part in the start of our journeys so they should be with us when we start the next one.'

Jenny thought fondly of her parents, of Dan, of Vanessa and Blair and Eric, Serena and Chuck… and Nate. She warmed all over at the thought of his smile, and how it had affected so many years of her youth.

'All I could think about was you,' said Agnes, reaching across and resting her hand on the table. 'I have to fix this Jenny. You were my first, real, true friend and I threw it away and I'm so sorry. Please let me fix it.'

Doing her best to quash her own pride, Jenny was amazed to find herself reaching out to touch Agnes' hand. She remembered how she'd been in this same situation years earlier, at Serena's feet begging for the forgiveness, which she had been granted. Jenny knew, deep down, she owed the same; she had to pay it forward, and it was as though God was telling her that this was it. Taking pause, Jenny's eyes flicked down to her and Agnes' hands, intwined on the table, and then back up to Agnes' face. She was smiling, hopeful.

In the end, Jenny smiled back.

And they talked like old friends. It was like no time had passed - they were still fifteen and all each other had in the world, catching up on everything that they'd missed in between. They hugged, and they cried, and they both apologised but none more than Agnes, who swore she would do all she could to make Jenny see the truth.

They talked of their careers and loves; Jenny told of how she'd climbed the ladder at Waldorf, how she'd lived around the world and how, after all this time, she was ready for her future with Nate Archibald.

Agnes told of her modelling in Japan and Paris and California, how she'd met and fallen in love with the man she wanted to spend forever with; a human rights lawyer that had been protesting across the street from where she'd been shooting all day. They'd bumped into one another and that had been that.

'I'm happy that you're happy,' Jenny whispered, and she did truly mean it.

Agnes' eyes seemed to glimmer.

'Now we just need you and Archibald hitched and all will be right in the world.'

Jenny rolled her eyes and scoffed, but Agnes ignored her.

'Oh please, I remember the way he looked at you when we were fifteen - he loved you then and I bet he loves you now. You guys are meant to be.'

Jenny laughed despite herself. How she wished what Agnes was saying was true.

'Oh hey,' Agnes said suddenly. 'I saw all that stuff in the news, about you and him - from the night that we hung out?'

Jenny immediately went cold and ducked her head, but Agnes took her hands.

'I was there. I know what really happened. I'm so sorry about all that.'

Jenny shook her head.

'It doesn't matter now; Nate's fine, I'm fine and Carter's gone. So nothing will bother us now.'

Agnes was smiling at her.

'Nothing at all,' she agreed, and again Jenny thought she saw a glimmer in the girl's eye.

But Jenny chose to ignore it in favour of seeing the best in her one-time best friend. Agnes had always had that excitable quality about her.

'It's been great, Agnes, and I'm glad we did this but I really have to be going. I've got a meeting at the office in thirty minutes and if I'm late Blair will murder me.'

Agnes chuckled. 'And she really would, too.'

They hugged once more, and Jenny held on a little tighter than she had previously. She felt as though things were coming full circle; she and Agnes were almost back to normal, she'd finally figured who she wanted and what she wanted. Things were looking up. Jenny refused to let her mind wander to the text message she'd received earlier that day. It was just someone trying to scare her on the tails of the photograph scandal, she was sure of it.

As she and Agnes parted, Jenny noticed her bag was open.

'Careful,' Agnes said, zipping it for her.

Jenny smiled, then they said their goodbyes, and she headed out to catch a cab. Despite the morning message, it had turned into a great day. Now all Jenny had to do was make this meeting to avoid imminent death at hands of a disgruntled Blair Waldorf-Bass.

Blair considered Jenny family. She was, in a way, extended family since Serena and Chuck became step-brother and sister and Serena would be marrying into the Humphreys.

Families fought, they bickered, they had blazing arguments and they didn't see eye to eye. But they always came back to one another in the end, because they knew that they'd always be welcomed with open arms.

But as Blair read the text message from Jenny in bed that evening, reciting it to her husband, Blair wondered if, sometimes, families didn't always make it back to each other. Her eyes wet with tears, Blair read it again.

You are a joke and a snob. I regret the day we met. If I'd know it would lead us to this I would have walked the other way. If I'd known how stupid, how useless, how pathetic you truly were I would have left.

I hate the life you live, the way you live it. I hate your husband and all he's done.

I hate your son for being the worst of both of you.

Always have, always will.

In the morning, she would deal with this insubordination, Blair decided.

For now, she would cry in the arms of her husband over how the woman she loved as a sister could betray her in this way.

Dan had his head in his hands as Serena stroked his neck. She stood over him where he sat at his writing desk, his cell phone held aloft in his hand. He felt on of Serena's tears drip onto his neck and so he turned, pulling her into his lap.

He held her there, as she recited the text message once more.

I hate what you have become. I hate the life you've chosen, and the that you chose to spend it with Serena. She is everything I despise. Spoiled, bitter, damaged.

I don't want to be her sister, and don't want to be yours anymore either.

As long as you love her, you can't love me.

We are done.

I hate all that you are, and I will hate your baby too.

In the morning he would deal with this storm, Dan decided.

For now he would hold his wife as she cried, and he would mourn the sister he thought he had.

Nate had enjoyed his run at the park. It felt like so long since he'd been this relaxed. The breeze on his face and the music in his ears had been a welcome respite from endless meetings, emails, and thoughts of the girl he loved who didn't love him back. He supposed she'd done him a favour; he could finally let Jenny Humphrey go now. However he didn't want to, however much he knew he wanted her, he also knew how to get over her. He'd done it before, albeit having been a teenage infatuation, much less than what it was now.

He was in love.

It made and broke him in equal parts, but he was alright.

He knew he'd be alright.

At least this way, Jenny would always be in his life. Even if she didn't feel the same way about him. He didn't know what the future would bring. As sure as he was that he'd always feel this way about Jenny, the rational side of him knew that one day he'd wake up and it would hurt a little less, and he'd just have to keep doing it over and over again until it didn't hurt anymore. People had been rejected before; he wasn't the first to lose the person he loved. He wouldn't be the last.

He'd be okay.

Having left his cell in his apartment, Nate missed a couple of messages from Chuck about something to do with Blair and Jenny. It's probably business, he thought. Nate decided he wouldn't reply to Chuck just yet. He only had room in his head for one uncertainty, and right now it was taken up by Jenny.

After he'd showered, he came back to find another message on his phone.

His heart lifted when he saw Jenny's name.

It had been some time since they'd spoken. He'd left her apartment in a relative hurry after the 'friends' bombshell that had knocked him for six. She hadn't messaged in that time but neither had he. Nate supposed they were both just getting used to what that agreement now meant for them. Feelings they weren't supposed to have. Words they weren't supposed to say.

Despite his resolution to get over her, despite her asking him for them to be just friends, one part of him simply could not ignore how he felt, or how she did. He knew with all of himself that deep down, Jenny felt something more. She had to. She looked at him sometimes, smiled at him, and he felt like she was lighting him up inside and out. There was something.

And he was so ready.

Finally, he was so, so ready.

He tapped the message icon.

His smile fell.

We don't belong together. We never did.

I don't want you in my life. I never did. You are everything I despise about this world, and you don't deserve me.

Don't call me and don't text.

I hate you, Nate Archibald.

Always have, always will.

Nate swallowed.

Maybe he wasn't going to be alright after all.

A/N: What is going on? Jenny's lost her mind? Hope you enjoyed, see ya next time xo