A/N: After a long week of classes, tests, and papers...its great to be updating this story. Read on!

The three days of peace passed way too quickly for Roy. He managed to spread the food to last for three meals a day, which was a nice change of pace for him; even if it was still too little. Despite the burned hand, he spent hours practicing his archery and did his required amount of schoolwork. The schoolwork was kind of hard and he struggled to understand the math, but he did it none the less, knowing that if he didn't it wouldn't end well for him. His hours of practice didn't help his body heal any faster, but no patrol meant he at least could rest after. The burned hand had started to blister, but he kept it wrapped and cleaned as best he could. It was all he could do. It was when he was examining it that he distantly heard the front door open and close. Fear spiked through his body for a moment before he pushed it down. Moving quickly, (not with dread he tried to convince himself) he re-bandaged his hand and crept out of his bedroom, then downstairs towards Oliver's office. When he got there he poked his head in and found his guardian drinking.

'Oh no.' Roy squashed the newest feeling of fear and knocked on the door.

"Huh? Oh, it's you." Oliver didn't sound especially aggravated, but that didn't make Roy feel better. He knew his guardian could go from calm to angry in nanoseconds.

"H-hi Ollie." Roy took another step in. "How was your trip?"

"Terrible."

Fantastic. Three days of peace and now he had to deal with an irate and aggregated Oliver. "I'm sorry."

"Hm," Oliver sighed. "C'mere."

Roy froze. "What?"

"I said come here."

Deciding it was better to obey, even if a beating was coming, Roy walked over to where Oliver leaning against the fireplace. "Y-yes, sir?"

"People are bastards, Roy. Remember that."

Roy nodded. "Right."

"Here." Roy stumbled back when Oliver suddenly thrust his drink into Roy's face. "Drink."

"Uh….I'm 14."

"I'm your guardian, if I say it's ok, then it's ok."

"I don't think-"

"Drink!"

"Ok…" Roy opened his mouth and Oliver poured the rest of the cup in. It was barely half a mouthful, but it tasted awful. He swallowed the liquid, which tasted like liquid fire and burned his throat. He coughed and gagged while Oliver laughed.

"That'll make you a man!" He slapped Roy on the back, oblivious to the flinch that went through the teen's body. "Where's your schoolwork?"

"Library," Roy gasped.

"I'll go check that." Roy nodded and followed Oliver to the library. He sat down in a chair while the latter went over his schoolwork. "Roy." Oh, that was a fun tone of voice. "Why can't you do this math?"

"I don't know." He really didn't. No matter how many times he read about it, he couldn't get it. "I try."

"Clearly you can't be trying too hard."

"I'm sorry. I'll keep trying."

Oliver snorted. "What's the point? You're obviously an idiot."

Roy hung his head. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault you're stupid." He wasn't sure if that should make him feel better or not. "Oh well. At least you can shoot."

Roy nodded. 'At least I got that going for me.' He wasn't surprised. When he was 12 he used to ask Oliver for help with his school work, but several incidents of his guardian pointing out how stupid he was and getting frustrated ended that. "I'll try to be better."

Oliver snorted. "Why bother? You haven't improved that much over the last two years, I don't expect you to get much better."

'So I'll always be stupid. Great.'

"Come on, I'll make you lunch."

Lunch sounded great to Roy since Oliver hadn't left him anything for breakfast on the day of his return. He followed him to the kitchen and sat at the island while Oliver made him a sandwich. He raised his eyebrows when Ollie put some chips on the plate with his sandwich. "Thank you," Roy said, digging in as soon as the plate was in front of him.

"Do you want juice?'

Roy swallowed. "Yes please." He felt suspicion creeping up in his brain. Oliver never let him have juice. The only thing he was allowed to drink was water. Juice or milk was only allowed on special occasions like his birthday or Christmas. Chips were something else he never got. Snacks weren't allowed at all, and his meals consisted of oatmeal at breakfast, a sandwich at lunch, and whatever Oliver made for dinner. Oliver set a cup of juice down in front of him. "Thank you."

"Eat."

Roy kept eating, keeping one eye on Oliver as he did. 'He's up to something.' He scarfed down the sandwich as fast as he could, partly afraid it would disappear. Once it was gone Oliver dismissed him with a wave of his hand and Roy made his exit swiftly. He went upstairs to his bathroom to clean and re-wrap his burned hand since he'd been interrupted earlier. He carefully examined the blisters, trying to see if one was infected. They seemed to be doing alright though, so he just reapplied the cream and wrapped it in bandages. He passed the rest of the afternoon in his room, watching tv. There wasn't really a lot to do, since using his hand was painful. Patrolling was the only exception to that. He couldn't relax though. Usually, when Oliver had a bad day he was irritable and more prone to hurting him. Roy knew he'd gotten off easy with Oliver just forcing him to drink a small amount of liquor. Then there was the fact that he'd been given chips and juice, which only ever happened when it was a holiday or his birthday.

'He's up to something,' Roy decided as he idly flipped through the channels. 'He's scheming.' He blinked and yawned. With his stomach was feeling surprisingly full it was hard to stay awake. 'Now is a good time for a nap.

— —

"Roy. Roy!"

Roy blinked hazily and sat up. "Huh?"

"Nap time's over," Oliver said from his doorway. "Get up and come eat dinner."

"Yes, sir." Oliver left and Roy rubbed his eyes. He blinked blearily and groaned. "That was a long nap." He stood up and stretched, wincing as it sent pain through his ribs. "Guess it's for the better. Better than getting hit." Give him a nap over a beating any day. Roy went downstairs to the kitchen and discovered dinner was already ready. "Thank you," he said, eyeing the portion sadly. Less than half a bowl of pasts. He ate his dinner without complaint though; quickly making his way through the small portion he'd been given.

"Let's hope for another good hunt tonight."

Roy nodded. "Good hunt."

"Why do we hunt?"

"To rid the city of its criminal disease."

"That's right. The murders and thieves are cancer. You and I- well me really, I'm the doctor."

"True."

"This is the best way to be a vigilante. The most effective."

"The most effective way to be a vigilante." This was Oliver's version of a pep talk. A mantra that he'd both literally and figuratively beaten into Roy's head. The words felt so forced and fake to the teen that all he could do was repeat back half-heartedly.

Oliver stood up and smiled. "Let's go operate."

Roy followed him down to the arsenal. As they suited up, he couldn't shake the feeling of dread. 'They're criminals they don't deserve mercy. They're criminals they don't deserve mercy.'

— —

Patrol was going terribly. After an hour they still hadn't found a single criminal. Speedy could tell Green Arrow was getting irritated with the lack of crime in the neighborhood they were watching. He sighed and shot an arrow in a random direction; Speedy hoped it wouldn't hit someone. "Where is all the scum hiding tonight?" Speedy found himself actually hoping some criminals would show their faces so he didn't have to take Green Arrow's wrath when they got home. The night really started to go downhill when he heard the sirens in the distance. Both he and Green Arrow stood up and watched the red and blue lights bouncing off the buildings in the darkness.

"The police," Speedy breathed. He hated it when the police showed up.

Green Arrow growled in annoyance. "They're heading for us."

'Arrow gave away our position.' He wisely didn't voice his theory. "What'd we do?" He watched Green Arrow for a sign. Interactions between the vigilante and the police of Star City usually didn't end well. As far as Speedy knew Green Arrow had never killed a police officer, but he wasn't above putting them in a hospital or taking out an eye. "Green Arrow?"

"Let's go. We don't have time to deal with them."

Speedy nodded and followed Green Arrow to the ground. The two of them ran down the alley, in the opposite way they saw the police coming. At least five police cars suddenly pulled up in front of the alley though. They stopped and tried to backtrack, only to find the other end blocked as well. Speedy nocked his bow and pointed it one way at the police who were now pointing guns at the two. 'This won't end well.'

"Give it up Green Arrow!" one of the cops yelled. "You got nowhere to run." He gestured up, prompting Speedy to glance at the rooftops. He swallowed.

"They got snipers on the roof," he whispered. How they got set up that fast was beyond him, but when it came to taking down Green Arrow, the police were really aggressive about it usually.

"Put the bows down and put your hands up!"

"What do we do?" Shooting the guns out on the ground would be easy. Doing it while people fired from above would be significantly less easy. "Arrow-" Speedy was cut off when Green Arrow suddenly grabbed him and put an arrowhead to his jugular. "What-"

"Shut up!" his mentor hissed. Green Arrow stared narrowed eyed at the cops. "Let us walk away or I'll kill him!"

"You're bluffing!"

"You wanna take that risk?! Can you so-called 'honorable' boys in blue live with the blood of 14-year-old on your hands?!" Speedy saw several of the cops falter like they'd had no idea Green Arrow's young accomplice was only 14. There was no reply, so obviously they were considering it. "You have until the count of five to decide, or I'll slit his throat!" Speedy sincerely hoped the police would just let them go. He understood they wanted Green Arrow off the streets, but he didn't want to die tonight. Luck was apparently on his side because the cops all lowered their guns. Green Arrow smirked. "Thought so." He pushed Speedy forward, walking him to the edge of the alley. The cops didn't try to stop them as they passed. He glanced around and could swear he saw a few looks of sympathy thrown his way. Once they were on the other side of the street Green Arrow released him. Speedy turned around but jumped to the side when a bullet glanced off a pipe. "Go!"

The two of them ran down the alley and into the night as the cops shot at them. Speedy followed Green Arrow through the now nearly empty streets until they couldn't hear the gunshots anymore. "I think we lost them."

Green Arrow nodded. "Just goes to show you how low the police are. They claim to serve justice, but they try to stop it when it's being done."

Speedy nodded. He absentmindedly put his hand to his neck, right where Green Arrow had threatened to gut him not too long ago. A shiver ran through his body, but he then straightened up. "What now?"

"We keep moving. There's bound to be-" He stopped when they heard a scream. "Let's go!" Speedy followed him towards the scream they'd just heard. They turned a coulee of corners and found a woman being held by a man at knifepoint. Green Arrow shot the knife out of the unfortunate muter's hand. "Stop!" The man, apparently not that bright, turned and ran the other way. "Speedy."

'Why do they always run?!' Speedy demanded silently as he shot the mugger who'd tried to run. The man went down with a cry of anguish. "Next time don't run."

"There won't be a 'next time'," Green Arrow reminded him. The two of them approached the mugger as the old lady ran off. Green Arrow grabbed the guy by the cuff of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. "We have a one strike police here in Star."

"Come on man," the mugger pleaded uselessly. "I-I won't do it again I swear." Speedy braced himself and waited for Green Arrow to nock his bow. He didn't though. Instead, Green Arrow looked at him.

"Finish him."

Speedy swallowed. "F-finish him?"

"Are you deaf boy?!" Green Arrow smacked the back of his head. "Finish him!"

Speedy nodded and quickly nocked his bow. He pointed the arrow right at the guy's trachea. 'Just like in the range,' he reminded himself. 'Just like in the range.' Except it wasn't like in the range at all. In the range he could shoot the bodies all he wanted, they wouldn't bleed. This guy wasn't a fake dummy. He was an actual person with a beating heart who probably had a family. 'They're scum they don't deserve to live.'

"Speedy! Don't disobey me! Finish him!"

Fear coursed through the young vigilante. He didn't want to get in trouble again but still couldn't bring himself to move his fingers off the bowstring. He heard Green Arrow sigh. A larger hand enclosed his bandaged hand around his bow. He glanced down and saw the same thing on his bowstring. "What-"

"Nice and easy." Green Arrow dug his fingers under Speedy's, removing them from the bowstring. Before the teen could react his arrow shot forward, hitting the mugger right in the neck. Speedy froze. The mugger's body jerked then fell to the ground. Speedy lost all feeling in his limbs. He couldn't see anything but the red arrow sticking out of the guy's neck. His arrow. His arrow that had just killed this guy. "Come on," Green Arrow said, grabbing his arm. Speedy let himself be pulled. Even after they left the alley, all he could see was the arrow in the guy's neck.

— —

When they got back home it took several seconds for Speedy to realize where they were. He dropped his bow and blinked in confusion. 'When did we get here?' He ripped his mask off with shaking hands.

"Roy. Roy. Roy!" Roy's head snapped up, suddenly finding Oliver in front of him. HIs guardian smiled and put his hand's on the teen's shoulders. "What did I tell you, huh? You're capable of doing something right for once if you just relax." He chuckled and gave Roy's shoulder's a squeeze. "We'll make a vigilante out of you yet." Oliver turned away to get undressed, but Roy still didn't move. He slowly looked down at the mask that was crumpled in his hand. Without thinking he ran out of the arsenal and didn't stop running until he'd reached his bedroom. He slammed the door shut just as his hands started shaking. The tremors made it a little hard to get his quiver off, but once he did he threw it across the room. The arrows scattered over the floor like long blood droplets on the carpet. The sight of them made the teen's breath hitch. Roy slid down to the ground with his back against the door. His stomach churned as the mugger's blood flashed through his mind.

'I'm a murderer!' He buried his head in his knees and grabbed his hair. 'I'm a murderer!' He glanced up at his bed. The beacon Robin had given him was hidden in the box-spring. Tears pricked at his eyes. Robin would never want to be his friend again after this. Batman would never want to help him once he found out what happened. He let out a sob. The Justice League would never want to help him after this. Roy curled up into a ball and cried. He'd killed someone. He was a murderer. He was no better than Green Arrow now. No one was ever going to care about him again. Why should they? There truly was no way out. Green Arrow had finally turned him into a killer and Roy was going to end up just like him.