Valcup lover - you've clearly not been reading my authors notes, as I've specified I have two Valcup stories planned after this one. So, unless I die there's more Valcup in the future! I too am sad that I'm the only person who writes it.

-HTTYD-

Hiccup turned toward his sister, wondering how in Hel he was supposed to explain what she'd just heard from Nadia.

"Nadia, take Magni to get cleaned up? Take his bottle too."

Knowing Astrid's fierce temper and sailors vocabulary, he didn't want his son to hear what she had to say about his parentage.

"Sure."

He fussed, but Leo went willingly enough when Nadia picked up his bottle and lifted him out of his chair, left the room in silence save for toddler babble. The kitchen door closed behind them, and Astrid's face didn't soften one bit.

"Tell me I didn't just hear what I think I did."

Hiccup had always known Astrid would find out eventually, but somehow he had never thought of what he might say.

"What would be the point?"

"Then I wouldn't be thinking you fucked your own mother!"

Astrid's neck was flushed red, a sure fire sign she was angry. Angry at him, for being the deviant that he was, for the depraved lust he had no defence for. He couldn't find words to answer her, but his silence spoke volumes to Astrid.

"You're sick."

Hiccup's eyes closed. He nodded. He couldn't argue. He'd used far worse descriptors for himself many times over, his self-loathing muted only by Valka returning his feelings. Now... she was gone and Astrid was stepping back from him, recoiling in a way she had never done.

"No wonder you let her stay here. And you lied to me, again and again. About all of it. It wasn't PTSD that left you a wreck when she went. It was.. gods, I can't even say it. How could you do this?"

"I couldn't... we couldn't help ourselves. It was just one day... Hel, it was why she left. Then she found out she was having Leo."

Astrid shook her head, dangerously close to just walking out. He could see it.

"And you just picked up your twisted little love affair?"

Hiccup shook his head in turn, nausea flaring as his anxiety spiked in response to Astrid's blatant disgust. He deserved it, but that didn't stop it from hurting.

"Not at first. We could barely even look at each other. We didn't start again until Leo was about two months old."

He didn't think Astrid needed the details of how they'd kissed and cuddled, slept as entwined as the pregnancy had allowed, banned by Nadia from sex in case it triggered premature labour. She certainly didn't want such information.

"He's... you... I..."

Astrid couldn't form a sentence, turned and walked toward the front door again. Hiccup tried just to let her, but he reached out on instinct.

"Astrid-"

She jerked away from him as though he burned her, scowled deeply.

"Don't touch me!"

Hiccup recoiled, withdrew his hand and watched her storm right back out. Toothless whined, pawed at Hiccup's good leg. He wanted to... Hiccup didn't even know, but his mind was nowhere good. He had been prepared for the eventuality Astrid would find out and reject him. He just hadn't expected it to be the same day Valka flew off to parts unknown to break his heart all over again.

"Dada!"

"Leo, calm down."

"Dada!"

The sound of his son pulled Hiccup out of his dark cloud, reminded him he couldn't simply fall apart this time. Taking a few deep breaths, Hiccup straightened up, swallowing the thick lump in his throat and heading toward the sounds of a grumpy infant.

"Dada!"

On sight, Leo held his arms out to Hiccup. He leant down and lifted him, cradled the little boy tight to his chest. A few tears slipped down his cheeks, but Hiccup clamped down on the urge to cry.

"Not well-received, I imagine?"

Hiccup shook his head, chest twisting at the mental image of Astrid walking out through that door for possibly the last time replaying itself over and over. His knees shook, so he sat down, stroked Magni's hair as his son settled.

"Is there not a chance she'll come around?"

Nadia didn't bother trying to calm him, probably knowing by now it was an expert task and both people skilled in the task non-optional.

"You don't know Astrid very well, do you? No... she's pretty headstrong. And she was pretty damn horrified."

"I'm sorry, she overheard me-"

Hiccup waved his hand, cut her off.

"No. Frankly it's amazing it took this long for her to find out. I've been expecting this to happen since I found out this little guy was on the way."

He kissed Magni's messy hair, got a little happy sigh for his troubles. At least he still had his son.

"Here, he wouldn't let me feed him."

The bottle was handed to Hiccup, and Magni was content to drink it slightly cooled now it was his dada feeding it to him.

"Fussy little critter. Definitely a Hofferson."

Big green eyes looked up at him, full of doting love for his father and Hiccup knew he had to find a way to cope alone. He had no choice. He was needed by this tiny little boy.

"Do you want me to continue visiting to keep an eye on him?"

Nadia was no expert on much of Leo's health conditions, but she knew he stressed easily and would explain anything to Hiccup in more blunt terms.

"If... it's not too much trouble. I know you were helping cus of Valka, you don't have to."

"I told you, I like the little guy. And truth be told, I want to keep an eye on you. But I also know you're very private, so if you want to be left alone just say so."

Honestly, Hiccup then wanted to tell her to stay away. He didn't want someone else worrying for his mental state. But then he thought about the boy babbling away in his lap, and knew it was probably a good idea that somebody without a diagnosed mental impairment kept an eye on how he was taking care of Leo.

"No. Please, make sure I'm doing right by him."

Nadia smiled as little Magni curled up as best he could, unable to completely pull his legs up due to the bar on his feet but otherwise contently resting againsy Hiccups torso with a thumb in his mouth.

"I think you'll be just fine, but I also know your brain likes to tell you lies sometimes so I'll be your third-party eyes."

"Thanks. I mean it... you could have freaked when you knew, but... you didn't. You helped us. Helped him.

She shrugged off-handedly.

"Nobody chooses a situation like this. And between travelling the world and having a reputation for taking on tricky obstetric cases... Magni here is not the first cosanguineous baby I ever encountered."

"Really?"

"Mhmm."

The afternoon began to wear thin, and Nadia had work the next day at her clinic. She made sure Hiccup had her number written down, bade goodbye to them and left. Leo, while content to adore his father, was beginning to notice something was up.

"Mama?"

Hiccup winced, carrying a slowly-growing-upset one year old to their still-shared bedroom. It wasn't really a practical feasibility to give the boy an upstairs bedroom when he couldn't really climb stairs, and Hiccup couldn't always carry him. Plus Hiccup had the only downstairs bedroom. It had been the spare room until the car accident, quickly made his own while Hiccup was wheelchair bound.

When he was allowed to start having the bar off at times, and he could walk, Hiccup would consider turning one of the upstairs rooms into Leo's. Until then, the boys shared one room.

"Here you go. I'm sorry she isn't here with us Magni."

He gave the boy the t-shirt Valka had slept in, and watched how her scent soothed him. Hiccup couldn't be mother and father, yet he didn't really have a choice. He wrapped Magni in his sleep pouch - he was a little big for the baby ones but Valka had made him a new one. It seemed to help him sleep, and anything that settled the boy in a bootie brace was good news.

"You wanna sleep in with me tonight?"

"Nuhhhh."

Perfectly liberal with use of the word "no", Hiccup assumed that noise meant yes. The bed smelled like Valka, but they'd not been intimate amongst the sheets currently on and so both her sons slept amongst her scent that night. 'Sleep' was a strong word for Hiccup's fitful dozing, but whenever he looked the little face of his son was serene in slumber.

Then he was up making breakfast and follow-on formula for Leo, forcing yoghurt into his own uncooperative stomach. Food didn't sit well, but Hiccup couldn't really afford to lose weight or risk an ill-fitting prosthetic again. He had to be able to chase his son around.

"Ok. This could get tricky."

Toothless and Hiccup both needed to walk. Magni liked going outside. Hiccup only had one set of hands, which he needed for the pushchair.

"Ok buddy, you're gonna have to be extra good for us today. Family outing... what's left of us anyway."

It was a little awkward, but he walked with the lead around his wrist and hands on the pushchair, and Toothless trotted obediently alongside until Hiccup took off the leash, let Toothless go run around in the grass. Hiccup sat next to his son, watching the boy bask in the sunlight with a joyful smile.

He got the feeling Leo inherited the love of sunshine and outside from their mother. Hiccup had forgotten what it was like to enjoy being outdoors, anxiety and depression making him reclusive, heartbreak making him withdrawn. But now he had to - for Leo. Leo wanted to be in the fresh air, and so Hiccup would do that for his son too.

"You thirsty Magni?"

"Thirty."

Close enough. Hiccup had brought out his sippy-cup - he should really have been off the bottle by twelve months, but he wouldn't drink milk from the cup - full of water. Leo drank some of it, turned it away when he was done and yawned cutely.

"Guess we ought to head back."

Toothless came back obediently; Hiccup's favourite part of his dogs training aside from obedience was that the dog only 'went' at home, saving Hiccup from having to kneel on the ground and clean up where he might get stuck with his bad leg out in public. The trip back seemed longer on his stiff knee, but they made it home together and took a nap as a trio.

Hiccup woke groggy, a little sore but he glanced over to see Toothless curled up next to Leo's cot, where his son was still asleep. Pushing himself upright, he decided bathroom and coffee were his ports of call before his son woke up. As he limped out to the kitchen, Hiccup realised he wasn't alone.

"A-Astrid?"

His sister sat at the kitchen island counter, fiddling awkwardly with an empty baby bottle of Magni's and not quite looking at him. Hiccup continued on to the kettle, clicking it on and starting to make coffee.

"I'm still mad at you. And I still think it's... wrong. What you and she did."

Hiccup felt hope strangled by anxiety when Astrid trailed off, took a sip of his freshly milked-and-sugared coffee while it was still near-scalding in the hopes it could burn away the lump in his throat. It didn't.

"Ok."

His voice was hoarse from lack of use, sleep and coffee-burning.

"But you're my brother, and I owed you better than walking out."

"You don't owe me anything."

Before Astrid could answer him, the phone began to trill and Hiccup hastened to answer it before it woke Leo up.

"Hello?"

"Hiccup?"

Valka's voice was equal parts welcome and painful, making him miss her more but he'd been desperate to hear her again.

"Just woke up" he heard a cry from his room "and so has Magni."

"Can I talk to him?"

Hiccup wanted to say no, wanted to deny her as she denied them. But he had sworn not to separate Leo from his mother, and so he agreed.

"Hang on, I'll get him."

Much as he wanted to stay and talk to Astrid, she was in the same country. Chances for Leo to hear his mothers voice would be few and far between - most of the places she stayed didn't have phones or even electricity. He was grizzly from waking from his nap, but the boys face became a picture of joy when Hiccup lifted him into his lap, turned the phone to speaker.

"Mama!"

Leo babbled away excitedly, not really understanding phones but knowing it was his mother who responded. When Hiccup looked up, Astrid was in his doorway watching him hold Leo and the phone. When they had to end the call, little Magni started to cry as mothers voice left him. Hiccup cuddled him close, heart aching for the boys sobs as he failed to understand where mama was.

"I'm sorry Magni, but I'll never leave you. I swear."

Gnawing on his fist and still teary, his son looked up at Hiccup.

"Dada no go?"

"Never. Come on, lets get you cleaned up. I'll uh, be out in a minute."

Astrid nodded, left him to change his son and clean chubby little cheeks of tears, taking off his brace to rub a light moisturiser on tiny feet - it was common for babies and toddlers to suffer from eczema, and so he needed a little extra skin care.

"All better?"

"No!"

Hiccup wasn't surprised, since Leo hated the brace but he got it back on with minimal difficulty.

"You hungry?"

He got a vigorous nod, little arms lifting to gesture he wanted to be carried. Hiccup obliged, lifted him to his chest. Valka had only called to let them know she'd gotten to the volunteer quarters she was staying at that week, and it had left their son in tears. Hiccup wasn't sure he could keep this up indefinitely.

Not that he really had a choice. It was that or cut Valka out of their lives completely, and he wouldn't, couldn't do that to the little green eyed cherub in his arms.

"Here we go little guy."

He dropped Leo gently into his high chair, pushed the little table round to keep him in it and ruffled the boys hair. The tears were gone for now, but it was only day one. It could get much harder.

Astrid sat in silence, and it made his skin prickle. Leo was happy enough with his vegetable-based mush, as usual ignoring the available spoon in favour of making a mess. Hiccup made up his bottle, knowing it was unlikely the boy would actually drink it without being bottle fed by Hiccup. He supposed it was a comfort thing, having rather abruptly lost being nursed by Valka and still wanting cuddles and coddling with his feed.

"Why'd you let her go? It's obvious you didn't want her to."

Hiccup shrugged, the movement jerky and stiff but probably recognisable all the same.

"It wasn't my choice. It was hers."

"So now she gets to be in and out of your lives whenever?"

Hiccup sighed deeply, body still exhausted despite the nap earlier.

"She promised not to take him away from me. And she kept that promise. I asked her to tell me before she left rather than let me wake up alone and abandoned. She did. I promised I wouldn't keep her from Leo. I have to keep that promise until he's old enough to tell us what he wants."

Astrid frowned, still keeping a physical distance from him and he felt it acutely.

"But why did she go?"

"She never came back to settle down. I'm not certain she would have left Leo with me if he didn't need ongoing medical treatment. I know she didn't want to leave him behind, but... here we are."

Hiccup bit into his protein bar, knowing he couldn't convince himself to eat properly with the nerves doing cartwheels in his gut. It was sticky and unpleasant in texture, but it tasted alright and kept him going. Astrid chewed on his words, reading the tin of baby formula on the counter while Hiccup ate his 'meal'.

"How did this happen?"

Rubbing at the bridge of his nose, Hiccup cast his mind back to that day. The day Leo was conceived.

"In a not-blaming way, you kinda facilitated it. We... kissed. I ran. That was why we didn't see each other those last few days. If you hadn't called her and told her to come over, I'm not sure it would have happened. I'm sorry Astrid, but I can't regret it. Not when I have him now."

Hiccup looked over to Leo, who gurgled and continued eating with his hands happily.

"I guess I can understand that. You obviously love him... I just can't believe he's yours. That you're a... dad."

"How do you think it was for me? Valka turned up six months pregnant with my kid when I never thought I'd see her again."

Tapping her fingers along the side of the tin, Astrid nodded.

"Yeah... musta been a huge curveball. You managed though."

They lapsed into silence while mini Magni ate, but Astrid followed when Hiccup carried the infant to the living room for a more comfortable feed. She curled up in her usual chair, watching Hiccup settle his son and hold his bottle. It definitely soothed him to be cuddled and fed, as it soothed Hiccup to be the one doing so.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

Astrid gestured to where a freshly fed toddler was starting to doze, as he often did after eating.

"Being a single dad. How do you even break up with... with your mom?"

"That was my choice. I told her if she left I wasn't going to be waiting around for her forever. I'll not keep his mother from him, but I can't just be someone she picks up only to leave behind again."

They were talking, he supposed. Astrid wasn't looking at him like she hated him.

It was an improvement on yesterday at least.

"I'm gonna go. I... I need to think. I don't know if I can get my head around this just yet."

Hiccup nodded, unable to move with Leo sleeping on his lap and unable to quash the crushing the disappointment though he should have known better than to hope.

"Alright."

"I'll lock up behind me since you can't get up yet."

"Thanks."

It all felt so clinical, mechanical. Words never previously applied to the relationship between brother and sister. As she left, Hiccup heard her key turn in the lock and, despite himself, he sincerely hoped it wouldn't be the last time.

-HTTYD-

Here's hoping FF errors have abated.

I won't hold my breath.