A/N: It's been very hard to continue this fic. With each chapter posted, I get multiple comments demanding where Emma is, from nice and exciting to plain insulting... calling the fic boring and saying that they skimming until Emma shows up. Others only demand for Emma to show up without one single word of acknowledgement over the thousand of words poured in each chapter about Killian and his journey. The last comment I got, someone demanded I fixed the error of Killian's characterization in the fic so he's more drastic like Hook and it's an enjoyable read. I don't know what to say to this anymore. Yes, this is a captain swan fic, but it's also a Killian centric. I wasn't planning to revisit all of season 1, but the idea of weaving in Killian in the season and seeing how he would react based on the background I gave him was something that inspired me. The idea of seeing him pine for Emma at each step, of her being present in his memories and in his heart, was something that inspired me. This is the fic I am writing... and to be honest, it doesn't differ from several other fics and S1 divergences in which Emma is the center of the story and they are still labeled as captain swan.

So, if you're here for a simple CS fic in which Killian is in the background and Emma is the lead, then this is not the fic for you. I'm writing this soul journey for Killian and I will get to Emma, when we get there. I would just ask in the meantime you'd be kind enough to refrain from posting hurtful and insulting comments over this fic. Or simply, if you don't like it anymore, stop reading.

The arraignment went as planned and the day passed without much novelty. Once again, Killian came back home to an empty loft, nothing but the feeling of failure to lull him to sleep at night. The loft had lost all its familiar warmth, leaving Killian to suffocate alone under the weight of his own shortcomings. Could anyone blame him for choosing to spend as little time as possible there? Just long enough to get the bare minimum hours of sleep his body needed, before escaping to either hang out with Mary Margaret at the station or drown his sorrows in rum at The Rabbit Hole.

His mornings were spent at Granny's, where a hearty breakfast was always left barely eaten - he hadn't much appetite for pancakes and bacon these days - and the hot chocolate always paled in comparison to Mary Margaret's own recipe.

Gods, he needed to get her out of the mess she was in.

Killian was entertaining those thoughts as he left Granny's, closing the zipper of his winter leather jacket and pulling a beanie over his head, when David stepped into his path.

"Killian," David started, but Killian wasn't in the mood to talk to the other man.

"Get lost, mate," he spat as he sidestepped David and moved towards his car. "I don't have time for the likes of you."

"No, I-I understand. It's Mary Margaret. How's she doing?"

Killian couldn't believe the other man had the gall to ask. "About to be put on trial for the murder of your wife. How do you think she's doing?"

"Killian, I didn't mean - the last time we spoke, I don't think she understood what I meant." There seemed to be sincerity in David's voice, but the sound of it only angered Killian even more.

"Please tell me you're not implying she lacks intelligence, after you so clearly spelled out to her that you didn't think she was innocent?"

David blushed in embarrassment. "It wasn't like that-" he seemed to rethink his words when Killian cocked an eyebrow at him. "Look, it's this situation. It's been confusing and horrible for everyone. But, Killian, I don't think she's guilty. I need her to know that. But she doesn't want to see me."

Killian opened the car door. "Can you blame her? She trusted you and you broke that trust, over and over again." He got into the front seat, ready for this conversation to be over. He didn't have time to waste on men the likes of David Nolan. He met the other man's eyes straight on as he delivered the final punch. "And the last thing she needs right now, is being associated with you once again. You don't deserve her."

David recoiled at the last of his words, but he didn't back down. "What does she need?"

"She needs a bloody miracle and for you to stay away from her. You've done enough damage to her reputation as it is." He turned on the ignition, his tone filled with disdain. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

/-/

Killian stood by the jail cell door, his eyes looking incredulously at Gold after the man had presented his strategy to get Mary Margaret out of this mess.

"A pre-trial interview with the prosecution?" He knew he shouldn't have trusted the man. "I beg of you, Gold, please explain to me why this is such a good idea?"

"The D.A. merely wishes to ask Miss Blanchard a few questions." Gold's disdain for him was palpable, as if he his plans were entirely logical, and it was Killian who was failing to see reason.

"She's done answering bloody questions," Killian spat, his jaw clenching. Between Regina bursting into the station whenever she wanted, David's hounding, and Gold being this obtuse, Killian was starting to regret not letting Mary Margaret drive away from this town in his car when she'd had the chance. "And why are we kissing up to the D.A. anyway?"

He refrained from asking why they weren't going after Regina. If Gold had truly listened to him, the shop owner turned lawyer would have been on Regina's tail already. But he wasn't. It also seemed that Gold was reading his face at that moment, because the other man cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Just because you found the Mayor's skeleton key in the cell, doesn't mean we can prove Regina put it there, Sheriff. Unfortunately, we can't go after Regina only with your hunch that she's framing Miss Blanchard in here. We need proof that we don't have." He took a few steps toward the cell, his cane making a foreboding tapping against the floor. "I believe our best chance of winning this case is to employ our most valuable asset." His eyes moved towards Mary Margaret.

"What's that?" Mary Margaret asked eagerly, closing her cardigan against her chest.

"Well, that's you, dear. A sweet, kind, elementary school teacher. Doesn't exactly fit the prototype of a killer, now, does it?"

Oh, for the love of God.

"You're planning to get her out of this mess using her personality?"

"Perception is everything, Mr. Jones. As such, I'm sure you can imagine how the jury would perceive Miss Blanchard, if she agreed to cooperate with the District Attorney. These things engender trust. It shows the jury she's at least trying."

"First, it's Sheriff Jones. And second, do I need to point out we're talking about the same townspeople that ran her through the wringer two weeks ago for her association with David Nolan?" He couldn't believe the rubbish that was coming out of Gold's mouth. Killian knew small towns, he knew them very well. They were petty and unforgiving, and the townspeople wouldn't hesitate to demand Mary Margaret's head on a pike just to make themselves feel superior.

Whatever justification Gold had for this nonsensical idea was interrupted when Killian had to deal with Sidney bloody Glass barging into the station with a vase of flowers to "help brighten up the mood". Killian directed Sidney to his office and listened to the man's babblings about not being able to find something on Regina. He had dismissed the man's help right after getting the phone records, but it seemed Sidney had taken it upon himself to continue investigating solo, and Killian had let the man do whatever he wanted to do. As long as he wasn't interfering with his own investigation, he was content to let the man fight his own battles against Regina for whatever motive he had.

Killian went back to Mary Margaret and Gold the moment he dismissed Sidney. Mary Margaret met his stare directly.

"I'm going to do it. I'm going to talk to the D.A."

Killian's heart sank in his chest. "It's not a good idea. Think about it."

"I have. I know I have nothing to hide, but no one else does. I need to let people see me for who I am."

Killian didn't think people would be willing to see it, but he had to respect her choice. He was the Sheriff, and one word out of line in here could get him challenged as interfering with the defense and being removed from the case altogether. He couldn't risk that. He had to agree and hope this interview didn't damage her in the end.

As he watched Mary Margaret being dragged through the mud by Albert Spencer, seeing her trapped by the man's questioning, Killian couldn't do anything but fist his hand to his side and clench his jaw, willing with all his might for her to remain calm.

But it didn't work out and Mary Margaret lost her temper, putting herself exactly where Regina wanted her, if the woman's satisfied smirk was any indication.

He really hated this town sometimes.

Mary Margaret had failed. Killian had failed her. He was naive enough to put his truth in Gold, when clearly the man had no interest in helping. Which meant only one thing: Killian was alone in this, as usual.

Trust no one, Hook.

Once again, his Swan had always been right. He'd see to this. He would get Mary Margaret out of this, even if it meant breaking her out of jail, grabbing Henry and getting the hell out of this town.

/-/

Killian had been sitting at the docks for almost half an hour before he felt the drizzle and he pulled on his beanie to protect his hair from it as he pored over the book, desperate for any piece of information that could help save Mary Margaret. He was so caught up in his own search that he didn't sense August's presence until the man was standing right next to him.

"Whatever it is, I'm not in the mood, mate," Killian growled, stuffing the book back into his messenger bag.

"Grasping at straws as you try to find a way to prove your friend was framed?" August's smirk was not something Killian wanted to deal with at the moment. It seemed August could see that as well, because he sighed as he sat down beside to him. "What about that superpower of yours?"

"It seems it has abandoned me." He wasn't sure why he was letting his guard down and confiding in August, other than he was exhausted and out of the two people he could confide in, one was behind bars, and the other one was a ten-year-old that shouldn't get more involved in this.

August was silent for a moment before he tilted his head. "Look, Killian, I know you don't trust me-"

"Can you blame me?"

"No, but hear me out for a moment. It seems to me that you're blocked. When I get struck by a block, I usually reread what I've done, rather than plow blindly ahead. It might be pertinent to do the same in this case."

Killian thought about it for a moment. "You think I need to rethink my steps to see if there is a change in perspective?"

August smiled proudly as if Killian were catching on. "How did this all start?"

"With a missing person."

"Have you found the person?"

"Just her heart."

August didn't seem struck by Killian's harshness and kept on. "Would you have done anything differently that first time if you knew then what you know now?"

Bloody hell, the ponce had a point.

Killian stood up abruptly. "I need to get to the crime scene."

August trailed behind him. "I'll take you."

"Not on your life, Booth." He hadn't lowered his guard that much.

"Killian, you haven't slept in days. You can barely stand up, and clearly, you're not thinking straight, considering you're actually taking my advice without questioning it."

August has a point there. Killian pointed to the passenger side of his car. "Hop in, you can come with me… that is my final offer."

"Let me drive at least."

"There's no chance in hell you're driving Emma's car."

August cocked an eyebrow at him but had the decency to remain silent as he opened the passenger door.

/-/

It felt like a short ride until they reached the crime scene by the Toll Bridge. Killian didn't feel like talking much, choosing instead to rerun all the events related to the alleged kidnapping. Something was not adding up, not in the way everything was adding up so nicely in pointing to Mary Margaret. As self-absorbed as he was, Killian didn't fail to notice the way August struggled to leave the car.

"Ruby found the box with the heart right over here, just by the shore," Killian explained as he stepped down the incline, his eyes fixed on the terrain marked by yellow tape. He lifted his head and noticed August wincing in pain as he made his way down. "You okay there, mate?"

"It's nothing. Just a shin splint."

August was lying through his teeth, and Killian knew it. He also knew he didn't care enough to press the other man about it. He waved his hand dismissively. "Fine, walk it off then, but be careful not to make a mess of my crime scene. I don't need another problem in this case."

August massaged his leg for a moment as he gave Killian a squinting look. "This is really hard on you, isn't it?"

"She's the closest thing to family I've got." He didn't mean the words to come out, not because he was ashamed of them, but because he still didn't trust August as far as he could throw him. But it was the truth. After losing the Joneses first and later Emma, he had shut out the world. Besides Henry, Mary Margaret was the closest person in the world to him. It had been an unexpected bond, born out of loneliness and a need to belong from both sides, but he would lay down his life for her right now. Pushing those thoughts aside, he occupied himself with retracing the steps on the crime scene. He crouched low to the ground and his fingers dug experimentally through the soil... It seemed fruitless and he was about to give up after a while when he felt an unfamiliar presence in the sand. Digging deeper, he pulled what seemed to be a metallic shard from very near where the jewelry box with the heart was found.

"What's that?" August asked, his head tilting and squinting his eyes.

"A shard. It might be from a shovel," Killian got up and showed August the metallic piece. "If someone was burying the box with a shovel, then it could have hit a rock and broke a piece off…"

"If we can find the shovel that it broke off of, you can prove that Mary Margaret didn't bury the heart. You can prove that she's innocent."

It seemed August read the thoughts right out of his mind. Killian smirked at the other man. "I think I know where to look first."

/-/

"The eagle is in the nest, and the package is secure."

He knew involving Henry in this was a bad idea. "Give it straight to me, lad," Killian said through his walkie-talkie.

"She's getting in the shower and the keys are under the mat."

Signaling August to follow him, Killian retrieved the key from under the mat and made his way towards the shed. It was a nice structure and everything seemed to be in the proper place. Of course it would. It was Regina's place after all. Even in a shed, that woman wouldn't tolerate anything out of place. Killian pulled a small flashlight from his pocket and after ordering August not to touch a bloody thing, he took the time to conduct a thorough search.

As luck would have it, he found a shovel missing a piece that matched exactly the shard he currently had in a plastic evidence bag.

He and August exchanged a knowing look.

Busted.

/-/

It didn't take long for Killian to get a search warrant. A phone call here, the magic appearance of an anonymous tip there and he was up bright and early the next morning, knocking on Regina's door.

She wasn't happy to see him, but Killian didn't read much into it. Regina Mills was never happy to see him and a part of him couldn't blame her for that. He had barged into her carefully constructed life, uninvited, and refused to be bullied into leaving. She would just have to deal with it.

"Can I help you, Sheriff Jones?" The way she could pronounce his law enforcement title as if it were something she'd had to scrape off the side of her shoe was an absolute talent. A talent Killian couldn't care less about at the moment.

"I need you to unlock your garage for me, love." Killian didn't hide the innuendo from his voice. Anything to get a rise out of the woman standing in front of him.

Regina crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Why would I do that?"

He leaned in, grabbing the papers from his back pocket and handing them to her. "Because I have a warrant that says you actually have to."

The was a slight tremble in her fingers as she reached for the warrant but it was soon gone as she looked through the papers. "On what grounds?"

He pulled the evidence bag. "I found this near where the heart was buried. It might be related to whoever buried it."

"And what that does have to do with me?" She was starting to get annoyed with him, exactly where he wanted her.

"Last night I got an anonymous call from someone who said they saw you digging near the Toll Bridge the day the heart was found."

Regina didn't even flinch. "An anonymous call? I find that hard to believe."

Killian took one more step, invading her personal space and lowering his voice as if he were letting in Regina on a secret. "You know, I don't like this any more than you do, Madam Mayor. I'm sure that you have nothing to do with it… but I must follow procedure. We wouldn't want anyone accusing me of tampering with this investigation, or Miss Blanchard's defense pointing fingers at me for not following up on a possible lead?"

The sole mention of Mary Margaret's name made Regina's eyes narrow dangerously and Killian almost recoiled at the hatred he saw in them. But he held his ground and had the satisfaction of having her step away from him. He followed her to the shed and waited until she opened the door. Killian tried to play it nonchalantly, taking his time to search a thing here and there before moving to the place where he knew the shovel was.

His heart sank in his chest as he saw the shovel was gone. He was glad that his back was to Regina, so she couldn't read his face at the moment.

"Everything okay?" she asked and Killian could read the satisfaction in her voice.

She knew.

And Killian couldn't confront her. He put on his best aloof smile and turned to face her. "Well, it seems I was played for a fool, but better to be safe than sorry don't you think?" He hoped Regina didn't have a lie-detector like his. "Well I better get back to the station and continue my search of who owns that shovel."

"You won't give up?"

"Someone was there, Miss Mills. I intend to find the culprit."

"You already have her in custody, Mr. Jones."

Killian clenched his jaw, fisting his hand at his side. He couldn't lose his temper. Not now. He couldn't show his hand. Regina took a step towards him.

"Miss Blanchard is a liar and a murderer. She needs to pay for what she's done. That woman has destroyed the last life she is ever going to destroy."

Killian couldn't say anything after that, as the bile in Regina's words took his breath away. That woman had an uncanny fixation with Mary Margaret and it was dangerous. Nodding, he made his way out of the shed and waited until he was in his car to bang the steering wheel in frustration.

Someone had warned Regina that he was coming for the shovel. And there was only one person who knew about this.

Emma probably would have slapped him for being such an idiot if she were here.

But she wasn't. And he'd been played a fool once again by August.

/-/

Killian banged on August's door and he didn't even wait for the other man to open the door fully before he was shoving him further into the room.

"I can't believe I trusted you again!"

"Whoa. Slow down. What happened?"

Killian wasn't buying August act, not anymore. "The shovel was gone when I got there. Regina knew about it. And the only other person who knew about this was you."

August's eyes widened in shock. "Killian, I didn't betray you. You have to know that."

"I've been a fool, thinking that maybe, maybe, you had some sort of decency. But this one, this one is on me." He fisted his hand to the side to the side and he finally delivered the punch that was a long time coming. A decade, actually.

August stumbled backwards, losing his balance and reaching for his aching jaw with disbelief in his yes. But Killian Jones was past beyond caring about accusations of police brutality.

"We're done, Booth. I suggest you leave this town, because the minute I ensure Mary Margaret is free -and I will ensure it- I'm coming after you with everything I have… and I have a lot. I'm the law here, so you'd better run and hide."

He didn't even bother to listen to any of the other man's excuses as he turned around and left the room.

/-/

The next morning, Killian's head was pounding heavily, a side effect of the half bottle he'd drank in silence in the loft, letting the darkness envelop him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept properly, but he had an inkling it was before everything went to hell with Mary Margaret and David.

His vision was almost blurry as he witnessed Mary Margaret being cuffed and escorted out of the jail cell and into the town hall for her trial. Her eyes were distant, her face a pale mask that didn't let any feelings show. It was disturbing to see that expression on her, on the woman who seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve. That, more than anything, broke Killian's heart. She only had the briefest of smiles to gift him before they took her away and his eyes followed her until she left the room.

Gold just stood there, his eyes meeting Killian's for a moment, before he left the station. Killian didn't even have the strength to call the other man on his bullshit. He couldn't believe Mary Margaret was at his mercy, he couldn't believe he'd been so desperate as to trust in the snake oil August and Gold had sold him.

Fuck this town. Fuck these people.

He picked up Sidney's hideous arrangement and threw the vase against the file cabinet, his breathing coming in hard pants as he fought back the tears coming to his eyes, feeling as helpless as he'd done when Emma's letter reached him in jail. It was as he was bent over his desk, resisting the urge to thrash the entire office that his eyes noticed the little black device in the middle of the mess on the floor.

He carefully lifted it up, but it didn't need a lot of examination. He knew exactly what it was. A bloody bug. Which could only mean one thing.

He owed Booth a bloody apology.

/-/

Killian found Booth leaving Granny's, which at least saved him climbing up the stairs you reach his room or tracking him down.

"Booth." His tone wasn't the most forthcoming or amiable, but Killian hadn't had the best week of his life. It still wasn't the worse, but close.

August gave him a sideway glance. "If you're coming for round 2, I'm not in the mood, Killian." His hand rubbed against his jaw and Killian could see the slight bruising there.

He held up his hands in a peaceful manner. "No punches, I promise. I just-" he tried, but he couldn't the words out.

"What?"

Killian took a deep breath and manned up. "Sidney bugged my office. That's how Regina found out about the shovel." He met August stare and held it for a second. "This still doesn't make it right between us…" Too much had happened between him and August and even if the man hadn't lied this time, it didn't make it all good in Killian's book.

August nodded, contemplating Killian's words. "I suppose not much will… other than bringing Emma back to you."

A scream pierced the air and Killian's blood froze in his veins. He'd heard that scream before. "Ruby!" he called desperately as he moved to the side of the diner, following the scream. Ruby showed up before his eyes, panting, screaming and crying at the same time, horror on her face. Killian couldn't help but feel this must have been exactly how she looked when she found the heart.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked as he reached out for her, his hands on her shoulders, keeping her steady.

"The alley, in the alley," was all Ruby could manage between sobs.

Pulling out his gun, Killian turned to August. "Stay with her!"

Carefully, he made his way towards the alley. His eyes scanned the place but he didn't see anyone, not until his eyes looked down and he saw the figure, lying on the ground.

Was it a corpse?

Pocketing the gun, he moved towards the body and slowly crouched down. It seemed like a woman and Killian was startled when she moved slightly. He slowly helped the woman into a sitting position. "Are you okay?"

His heart sank in his chest as he found Kathryn Nolan's eyes staring back at him.

She was alive.