A/N: Well, here I am again with another update for Snow Angels. I am taking the week after Easter off for spring break, to rest and recharge the mental batteries. That means the next update will be in late April. I occasionally get PMs from readers asking if I have abandoned the story because I have not updated recently. First off, if I was to finally get burned out and decide not to continue writing the story, I promise that I would send out a post stating that fact. Secondly, the chapter lengths have gone from 3-4K each to 6-8K on average, so that adds at least another week to my writing, reviewing, editing, rereading, editing, and final proofread schedule.

Disclaimer: I do not own the intellectual property known as Naruto.

It is late in the afternoon of Naruto and Team Tenten's return trip from their mission to deliver a diplomatic package to the Tsuchikage of the Hidden Stone Village. As they are nearing a town located close to the border between the two nations Hanabi bumps up against her sensei and then cocks her head to the side.

Tenten looks over to where the girl is motioning and shakes her head at what Naruto is doing again. He is walking along with a goofy grin on his face and mumbling to himself, while rubbing the side of his neck. "Good thing the Nine-Tailed Fox heals you so quickly, or you would have rubbed a hole into the side of your neck by now, Naruto."

"What?" Naruto, still in a daze, looks up at the mention of his name. When he sees the mocking smiles on Hanabi and Tenten's face he knows that he was doing it again. "Sorry, guess I am a little distracted today since we are now back in the Land of Fire." He puts his hands into his pockets in hopes that it might keep him from absently touching the spot where Hinata had kissed him intensely and left a temporary mark. Even though the bruise had quickly faded, no thanks to Kurama, the memory of that moment keeps playing over in his mind, especially the mocking look in her eyes with just a hint of something more... primal. If Hinata had not been on a mission of her own at this time, he might have given into the impulse to use the Flying Thunder God Technique to go home for just a few hours in the middle of the night, in hopes of just being able to hold her in his arms and see her smile.

Tenten leans over and whispers into Hanabi's ear. "That must have been one hell of a kiss your sister laid on his neck to get him to act even more goofy than normal." Tenten is relieved when Hanabi passes her little test and seems genuinely happy for Hinata, not the jealous look she would have had on her face not too long ago. 'You've grown up a lot recently Hanabi, and I don't think I could be prouder of you than I am right now.'

"Yeah, onee-san has changed so much since she started dating Naruto, but to be honest I never expected her to ever find the courage to do something like that to Naruto." Hanabi thinks back to not too long ago when Hinata had been sitting around the house when she thought nobody else had been looking and had been doing the same thing after Naruto had left a mark on her neck. It was the memory of how Hinata had acted that she figured out what must have happened to Naruto just before they left for their current mission. 'I wonder if I will be lucky enough to be that in love with someone, or does otou-sama already have other plans for my future.'

"Yeah, really. I wonder what has gotten into Hinata to make her so bold lately." Tenten, realizing the double meaning of her statement, looks over at Hanabi with wide eyes and her mouth hung open in shock.

Hanabi's reply is lost when she sees that strange look on her sensei's face and it takes her a moment to understand why she is looking so strangely all of a sudden. Hanabi's face goes bright crimson as her hands cover her mouth in astonishment and she nearly has to stop walking to regain her composure. Once the initial shock begins to subside she leans closer to Tenten and whispers, "You really don't think… they have…"

Tenten tries to shrug innocently, but it doesn't work. "I… really don't know what to say… it's…"

"Why not?" The two girls turn to see that Ookami has joined their little conversation. "Be honest, he might be a little dense and goofy at times, but that being said he is good looking and is the most eligible bachelor in the whole Leaf Village. We all know at least one girl in the village who has had a thing for him since the end of the war." Ookami purposefully does not look in Hanabi's direction as she says that last part and lowers her voice even more so that the other two have to strain to hear her words. "Heck, if he wasn't extremely involved with someone currently I might have even offered to let him scratch my itch." Ookami throws up her hands in resignation and walks away leaving a completely astonished Hanabi behind, before the girl can recover and do something potentially violent. "Maku needs to go to the bathroom now, we will catch up in a few moments."

Tenten claps Hanabi on the shoulder to try and calm her student down before she gives into the murderous impulse clearly showing on her face. "Just let it go Hanabi, she is just like her cousin Kiba. You know she enjoys playing little jokes on people to get a rile out of them, so the best thing you can do is not give her the satisfaction of knowing she won."

Hanabi turns up her nose and walks away, taking the lead position over from Shimata who just quietly fades back into the rear of the group. As he and Ookami pass each other he just shakes his head at his teammate. "I don't know what you said to upset Hanabi this time, but you play a very dangerous game with her, you do know that don't you Ookami."

Ookami just crinkles her nose and grins. "It's all in fun. She will get over it and we will have a good laugh later when we are relaxing in our room in the next town. I might even buy her something nice to wear, you know to help her finally get a boyfriend that isn't already dating somebody." Maku lets out a little bark that starts Ookami laughing. "No, I don't think Hanabi would appreciate it if we bought her a toy."

Shimata furrows his brow for a moment at sudden intensity of Ookami's laughter, but decides it would be best to just say nothing and keep walking.

They reach a small town just a little while later, and Ookami looks around happily taking in the new sights and smells. "Well, we made it before nightfall so does that mean we are going to spend the night here in the town, sensei?"

Tentan nods and gives her team a thumbs up. "I did promise that we could make a little detour and come this way back home, if everything went without a hitch." She lets out a fake sigh of exasperation, as if the whole thing is one big bother. "We did make it here just before nightfall, so I guess I'll have spring for a hotel room so we could sleep at least one night during this mission in a real bed."

Hanabi pinches her nose and looks over at Ookami and waves her hand back and forth. "And a bath too, at least for some dirty 'minded' people in our group." She says the word 'minded' so quietly that only Ookami's sensitive ears are able to hear.

"That's right, and I said that I would buy dinner." Naruto, rubbing his stomach, looks down one particular street with a hungry look on his face.

Shimata lets out a heavy sigh. "Let me guess..."

Everyone else starts to chuckle as Naruto's blue eyes begin to gleam. "There is a ramen shop in this town that is pretty good, it's no Ichiraku's but so far in all the travels I have done I have only eaten ramen in a few other places that are nearly as good as Ichiraku's, and this town has one of them." He licks his lips in anticipation.

Tenten nods her head as she remembers something important about this town as well. "That's right, the last time I was here in this village it was with you and Yamato. We had taken out a nearby group of bandits, and then we stayed for the village's two day festival. I seem to recall that you were out late one night eating ramen with... what was her name? Kata... Tari..."

"Kitara." Naruto's mood darkens as he seems to be recalling another memory of his own. "She works at the place we were staying the last time we were here, and she and I started talking when she came to clean my room. She was really nice, so I offered to buy her dinner and we talked while I tried out a few different ramen combos they had on the menu."

Tenten gives him a critical look. "What I remember most is the noise from that mob of girls that surrounded you when word got out that you were the big war hero."

Naruto's face suddenly goes pale as he looks over at Tenten and points towards the exit at the other end of the village. "Can we not talk about that night anymore? It's not really that late so maybe… maybe we should just keep going, and I'll pay for everything at the next..."

"Naruto, is that you Uzumaki Naruto?" Everyone's attention is suddenly focused on a young woman stepping up in front of Naruto. Her long strawberry blonde hair is pulled back away from her face to accentuate her dark green eyes. As she stops in front of him she places her left hand on her hip and strikes a pose with a mischievous smirk.

Naruto's mouth drops open for a moment before it slowly closes into a half-smile. "Oh hi… uh… Kari, how have you been? I've not seen you since..." His next words are cut off as she slaps him hard across the face with her right hand.

"You bastard." She spits the words at him as her face goes from smiling to angry so quickly that everyone is caught by surprise.

Naruto holds out an arm and looks over his shoulder to Hanabi, who has broken out of her shock and was moving forward with her palms ready to strike. "It's okay, let me handle this please." He gives her a smile that holds no joy, only sadness and regret.

Naruto starts rubbing the bright red spot on his face as he turns back to talk with the girl. "I'm sorry, you are Mari, right?" Before he can say anything else, another girl who looks exactly like the first comes up and slaps Naruto across his other cheek. "Hi Kari, it's nice to see both of you. How have the two of you been?"

The two girls stand side-by-side glaring angrily at Naruto for a moment before Mari begins yelling. "You have a lot of nerve acting so sweet after what you pulled."

Naruto holds up his hands in a calming gesture and points, as if to try and get the girls to take the conversation somewhere more private. "Please, if you will just let me try and explain..."

Kari looks like she is about to slap him again as she takes her turn yelling at Naruto. "What, how you got me drunk, so drunk that I passed out, and while I was vulnerable you took advantage of me. Afterwards, you dumped me on a park bench and ran off so you could sleep with my sister. I have heard that some shinobi use poisons and other mind affecting stuff on their victims. Did you put something in the sake you gave me to drink?"

Naruto opens his mouth to reply, but Mari begins yelling again. "You then did the same thing to me, you creep. So is that how you get your perverted kicks, Uzumaki-san?" She says his name with disgust. "Or is it that you prefer it when a girl is unconscious and vulnerable, maybe that is the only way you can get it up?"

The sound of Hanabi's gasp hurts Naruto far more than the slaps to the face, and he hangs his head in shame. "I'm sorry, I had way too much to drink that night, and I was..."

"Or is there some other reason you prefer a girl to be unconscious?" Kari holds up her little finger to insinuate what the other reason that he doesn't want a girl conscious.

Before Naruto can reply, another voice intrudes into their conversation. "I wouldn't even bother trying to explain to those two, Uzumaki-san." Another girl, a little shorter and heavier set than the twins, with dark reddish brown hair and hazel colored eyes steps out of the nervously watching crowd and approaches Naruto. "All they really care about is who you dumped so you could be with the other." She turns and glares at the twins, who stare back angrily at the newcomer. "So why don't you just tell them the truth, that it was me you dumped them both for, and the whole argument will be over."

The sound of Ookami saying, "Oh my," and another gasp of shock from Hanabi spurs Tenten into action. She begins to try and disperse the crowd with a challenging glare. "Okay folks, this little show is over. It's time to move on." Tenten flexes her hand near her kunai pouch to accentuate her statement, which sets most of the onlookers in motion and leaves only a few unfortunate vendors and the truly nosey standing nearby.

The heavy set girl places her hands on her hips confidently and strikes a pose that accentuates her more… fuller figure. "I know it was me because I remember the fireworks show was just finishing as we were sitting together talking and drinking. Besides, those two skinny flat-chested things could not have been anything more than an appetizer for a man like you, Uzumaki-san." She gives Naruto a sultry smirk. "Have you come back for some more, my hero?"

Mari grabs the new girl by the arm and spins her around. "You are a liar Tika, you are just saying that because that is what I told you when he and I were sitting together during the festival. I don't think that you were with him at all. Why would he want to spend time looking at somebody with a flat face and big forehead like you anyways?"

Kari steps in and accuses both girls of lying. "That is when he and I were together, both of you are either lying or are too drunk to remember correctly, because he could not have been with all three of us at the same time."

Tenten looks over at Naruto with a look of surprise. "Oh Naruto you didn't?" The look of self-loathing on his face tells her everything she needs to know. "Alright girls, this is not the kind of talk that should be discussed out in public." She gives the arguing girls her best 'You really don't want to mess with me right now' look, and gestures for them to leave. "Go home, calm down and maybe you can talk to him later and get some answers, if you are actually prepared to listen."

Seeing a kunoichi with an authoritative glare pointing the remaining crowd quickly disperses, as does the three girls. Until Tika stops, turns and walks back up to Naruto. "Oh, I forgot to say hi." She then kicks him hard in the shin and walks away with her pride somewhat restored as the remaining crowd moves away quickly in fear that the girl's action could provoke a violent retaliation from Naruto and his shinobi companions. A few of them make a point to verbally scold all three girls for daring to publically confront a powerful shinobi, especially in front of his companions. The whole time they would glance over their shoulders to see if Naruto or the others are showing signs of hostility.

As the crowd disperses Tenten looks over at Naruto and shakes her head. "Can you walk?" After he nods his head in reply she motions for her team to spread out around Naruto and follow her towards the edge of the village. "It might be best if we get a room for the night at the edge of the village and leave after breakfast in the morning. Personally I would rather leave now, but I am not going to give those little bitches the satisfaction of thinking we were intimidated by their little show."

Along their way through the village they pass by a flower shop and a girl in her late teens with shoulder length dark brown hair steps towards the group, her grey eyes are focused on Naruto. She is smiling at first, but it quickly changes to concern when she sees him limping a little, and she starts walking towards Naruto. Her progress is interrupted by Hanabi, who gives the girl an icy glare that promises violence if she comes any closer. The girl stops and clasps her hands over her heart in fear, before giving Naruto, who is lost in his thoughts and looking down at his feet, one last concerned look before bowing and backing away slowly.

A little later, after some rooms and food has been acquired for everyone, Tenten knocks on the door to Naruto's private room. She hears no reply so she tries the door handle and finds it to be unlocked. When Tenten opens the door she sees Naruto sitting on the side of the bed staring out the window, the dinner she had sent up to him is cold and untouched on the table bedside the bed. Tenten hesitates for a moment before speaking, "Naruto, are you alright?"

The only way she knows that he even heard her question is by the slight shrug of his shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?" Tenten asks what she knows is a stupid question, but she needs to try and start a conversation somehow. She needs to find some way to understand what really happened and if there is some way she can help Naruto.

"No, not really Tenten." Naruto replies in such an uncharacteristically sad and flat voice she nearly thought the reply came from somebody else rather than her old friend.

She walks over and sits down beside him and puts a caring arm around his shoulders. Unexpectedly he leans down and places his head gently on her shoulder. "I really messed up, Tenten. I just wasn't thinking clearly back then, and now I might lose everything, again."

Tenten takes a nervous breath before asking the inevitable question. "Did you really..."

"Yes." Naruto says quietly.

"All three of them?"

"Yeah."

"At the same time?"

Naruto pauses for moment before replying. "Yes."

Already knowing the answer she asks the next obvious question. "Using..."

Naruto puts his face in his hands. "Shadow clones? Yes, I..."

The door to the room flies open and an angry looking Hanabi storms in, leaving a shocked faced Ookami standing outside with her head to the side as if she had been listening with her ear to the door. Hanabi walks up in front of Naruto and stares at him with a look of betrayal in her tear filled eyes.

Naruto looks up at her apologetically, and is frozen in place by the look of betrayal in a face so close to the one that brings joy to his heart every time he thinks about her smile. The thoughts that Hinata's face could possibly look at him like this makes his heart feel heavy as if someone had just turned in into lead. "Hanabi, I…"

SLAP!

Hanabi's chakra infused slap hits Naruto hard enough to cause a spray of spittle and blood to erupt from his mouth and leave a pattern on the nearby wall. "You… you… are so disgusting." She shakes her head from side to side and sends little drops of tears flying from her cheeks.

Tenten steps between her friend and her student. "That is enough! You are way out of line Hanabi!"

Ignoring her sensei's warning, Hanabi leans to the side and stares angrily at Naruto. "How could you do something so… repulsive? When I get home and inform otou-sama of the kind of person dating onee-san you will be lucky to be allowed within sight of our family's estate." Hanabi's nose wrinkles as if she smells some foul odor. "I feel so sorry for onee-san, after all of this time caring for you, the sacrifices she has made, and troubles she endures, her heart is going to break when she is told the truth about what you did to those girls." Hanabi, tears running down her cheeks, raises her hand to slap Naruto again, who is just sitting there quietly accepting everything.

"She already knows." Tenten says as she grabs ahold of Hanabi's hand and forces the girl to turn and look her in the face.

"WHAT!" The sound of shock coming from both Hanabi and Naruto echoed through the room.

Tenten, still holding onto Hanabi's hand, looks down at Naruto. "She may, or may not, know about these three, but she does know about some of the other fangirls you have been seen with draped over one of your arms, and the girls who would just follow you around the village hoping that you would look in their direction. Most of us just figured that you were making time with some of those girls and taking advantage of your new found celebrity. I don't think any of us imagined that you were using shadow clones." Tenten felt terrible saying those words and seeing the painful reaction on Naruto's face, but they both needed to hear the truth.

"Others?" Hanabi asks, shocked to hear that these girls were not the only ones. Hanabi could not imagine how much it must have hurt her sister, after everything Hinata had told her about how much she cares for Naruto, to know that he was with other girls. 'Does he really have any clue how much he has probably hurt onee-san? Is this why she is so happy that they are together now, because she suffered silently for so long? I do not know if that is being strong, or being pathetic.' To keep herself from hitting Naruto again Hanabi balls her hands into fists so tight that her fingernails dig deeply into her palms.

"I think that you need to leave, and we will be discussing your behavior later. Do you understand?" Tenten gives the girl a harsh look and points towards the door.

As Hanabi reaches the door Naruto calls out. "Wait, she can stay if she wants. I am, maybe was, her sister's boyfriend and she has a right to know the truth about what happened." He gives the young girl an almost pleading look when she reacts to him saying 'boyfriend'. "Will… will you give me the chance to try and explain what I remember of that night? I won't ask for your forgiveness, just maybe a little understanding."

Hanabi looks at him and then to Tenten, who nods her head in approval, before glaring at Ookami to go away and shutting the door to the room. Hanabi then walks over to lean against the wall at the far corner of the small room, her hands crossed across her chest.

"How… how long has Hinata known?" Naruto's voice sounds so small and hesitant, as if completely terrified to know the answer.

Tenten shrugs as she tries to recall when she herself had first heard the rumors. "I am not sure when she heard about you and those girls exactly. We all had seen those Leaf Village girls follow you around like little ducklings, but I started hearing rumors of you actually spending time with some of your fangirls several weeks after your big fight with Rock Lee and you left the village suddenly. Guy-sensei joked that you had left the village to become a hermit and pick up right where Master Jiraiya had left off."

Tenten suppresses her laughter when Naruto looks at her completely appalled and just continues on with her story. "When some of us were put on missions with you, we began to watch and see if the rumors of you making time with your fangirls were true. I did see you walking around in more than one of the towns and villages we visited with a girl hanging off one arm, chatting away in your ear and making sure everyone could see who she was hanging out with, while you were quite busy paying attention to a bottle of sake."

"So do you know how… how did she find out?" He knew the answer before Tenten had a chance to say the name. "Kiba, that mutt bastard, when I see him again I am going…"

"It's because he cares for Hinata, and he knows that she cares for you Naruto, that is why he told Hinata. Maybe he wanted her to hear it from somebody that worries about her feelings, instead of hearing it from someone else who doesn't care." She puts a comforting hand on top of his and gives Naruto's hand a gentle squeeze. "I am guessing he told her not too long after some of us saw for ourselves." Tenten kneels down so that she can look him directly in the eyes. "She knew that you were seen spending time with other girls before the two of you started dating, and it did not change how she feels about you, okay." She looks directly at Hanabi as she says the last sentence. "So try to keep that in mind before you beat yourself up too much."

Hanabi just scowls at them both, letting them know that using a justu to take advantage of a girl like that is still abhorrent. Also, their father will not approve of such a stain of honor to come close to his clan. She walks across the room and looks over as she opens the door. "I don't think that I want to hear anymore right now, I am going to go on to my room. I... I need some time to think." She leaves without waiting for the others to reply.

Once the door is closed Tenten looks at Naruto with a curious smirk on her face, hoping that changing the tone of the conversation might help lighten Naruto's mood just a little. "So tell me, I promise not to tell anyone, did any of those girls get to experience the real Uzumaki Naruto?"

Naruto's draw drops and all he can do is stare at Tenten for the brazen question she had just asked.

"Come on, after all that has happened today at least give me a hint." She gives him a big pleading puppy dog stare.

Naruto lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head. "None of them, me… the real me didn't sleep with any of those three girls that night."

"You said three girls just now, not those girls." Tenten's eyes go wide. "Are you telling me there are others girls?" She holds out her hand to stop his reply and smiles. "Oh my, I bet it was that girl outside the flower shop today who was looking at you all concerned, she's cute. She actually kind of reminds me of somebody I know." She gives Naruto a playful smirk.

Naruto holds up his hands to stop Tenten from going any further. "Can we not talk not talk about Kitara, okay?"

Tenten stares at him in confusion for a moment, surprised that he seems almost protective about that girl for some reason, before going back to her previous topic. "So, you are saying that you had sex with all three of those girls from earlier today using shadow clones?" She could not help but sound a little bit unsettled by his admission, but she had to admit somewhere deep inside it did excite her, just a little. 'I don't know how Hinata is going to handle hearing about this, but from what I know of her father, he will not take such lewd behavior in someone dating his daughter lightly, not at all. Hanabi was telling the truth when she said that earlier, and by the look on his face Naruto knows it too.'

Naruto rubs his head intensely trying to organize his thoughts as he thinks back to that night. "Probably... I guess."

Tenten has to force herself not to reach out and tear Naruto's hands away from his face so that she could try and see the truth in his eyes. "What do you mean 'you guess'? I think that it is pretty simple, either you had sex with those girls, or not. You have had the talk right, you know what I am referring too?"

Naruto ignores her last question and looks up at Tenten with a look of pain and self-loathing clearly etched on his face. "It really isn't that simple. I was in a really bad place back then, and that night was one of my worst. It was my birthday you see…"

Tenten is nearly knocked off her feet at the news that the very night he needed a friend the most she had been oblivious to the very simple fact that it was his birthday. The date the Kyubi attacked the village, the date his parents died, the date the war had ended, the very date his life had been put on a course far from what any person would ever want for themselves or their child. That date marks the beginning of a very lonely childhood for Naruto. It should be a day that he is surrounded by his friends receiving gifts, not to be left alone at some bar surrounded by those who only want something from him instead.

"Oh no, it was your birthday? Why didn't you say something that night? I could have been there for you instead of hanging out in my room at the hotel." Tenten reaches out and hugs Naruto guiltily. 'What kind of friend am I, I might have been able to stop him that night.'

Naruto pats her gently and then pushes her back a little. "It's okay, you got hurt on that mission and needed your rest, instead of hanging out with some angry drunk kid bent on self-destruction. Yamato had tried to talk to me earlier in that day and it did not go well, so don't blame yourself for my stupidity."

Tenten looks down at Naruto with eyes filled with guilt, and he just shakes his head. "It was bound to happen eventually Tenten, you saw how I was back then and you have seen those people and how they act. They didn't want me. They wanted to be with the great war hero that everyone has been told about. You have probably heard some of those stupid stories that are being spread, and how some of them sound like I won the war single handed without any help and we all know that is a load of crap." He shakes his head angrily. "Yeah, it was me and the rest of Team 7 at the end, but you and everyone else had done so much before we even entered the conflict. So many people died before I even knew the war had started, and Sasuke had his head up his ass till it was almost too late to join the war." Looking down at his feet ashamedly Naruto sighs before continuing to admit his guilt. "It seemed like nearly everywhere I went once word got out of who I was, that people would come up to me and talk. At first it was nice to finally be looked up to by people, but I quickly started recognizing that some of those people wanted to use me for their own benefit in some way, some financial other physical. One night, after I had been drinking a lot, a group of girls approached me and started… you know… offering stuff."

Naruto looks up, his face flushed angrily. "That's all I was to them, a conquest, and they really didn't want to get to know who I am, because they already knew what I had done. That is how people treated me most of my life because of what was sealed inside of me, and it really hurt to be treated like that again. I guess in my drunken state I started tricking people, like I did when I was a kid. I let them think they got what they wanted, and to me that was some sort of revenge for what they were trying to do." Naruto holds up his hands and shakes his head to let Tenten know that it doesn't make sense to him now that he is sober and thinking clearly.

"Since I was not really living in the Leaf Village anymore I felt like I had no future left to reach for, and I did not want to think about the past, so why worry about the present and that was what I was doing." He shakes his head sadly and chuckles dryly. "I never gave any serious thought about what might happen if people found out about the shadow clones, because I did not care what people thought anymore. Until I saw Hanabi's reaction today I never thought how my actions could come back and hurt those close to me, and right now it is all I can think about." Naruto buries his face in his hands.

Tenten blinks a few times in confusion at Naruto's statement. "There is one thing I don't get about you using shadow clones so you would not have to be with those people. Don't you receive the memories of your shadow clones once they are dismissed? So in the end you really didn't get to avoid being out with those girls."

Naruto looks up in shame and sighs deeply. "Yeah, that is what I was trying to tell you earlier, it caused me a big problem for a little while. My shadow clones would spend the night listening to all those people and their stupid questions, or having some girl drag me around from place to place so she could brag later about being seen with me around town. My shadow clone would endure it as long as it could, so that people would be satisfied enough too not come looking for me again, and then the shadow clone would disperse when it could make a clean getaway. The next morning waking up with all of those memories going through my hung over head was brutal. Like I have been saying, I really wasn't thinking straight back then, but it did force me to finally perfect a new jutsu that I had been playing with for a while."

"Another one, I have to admit your stubbornness does have its benefits, sometimes." Her eyes narrow as she tries to mentally force the subject of his continued stubborn avoidance of Sakura into his mind. "Just please tell me that this jutsu isn't anything… disturbing, since it somehow involves your fangirls."

His mouth drops open in surprise at Tenten's question. "Hey, please give me some credit, okay. I know that I probably don't deserve it after what those girls said, but come on." Naruto crosses his arms and turns his head away until Tenten apologizes.

Tenten puts her hands up in the air in surrender. "You are right Naruto. I am sorry for insinuating that you might have come up with some new perverted jutsu. I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that you were using shadow clones that way, so please go ahead and tell me what you developed."

Naruto gives her the first smile she has seen since he was talking about ramen earlier in the day. "Alright, you already know that I get the memories of my shadow clones when they are dispersed. That has been a great advantage for me in fights, since it does allow me to learn a tough opponent's skills and come up with some way to defeat them, especially when overwhelming force just won't work." He waits a moment to let Tenten think on it for a moment. "Have you ever sat and just thought about how many memories of dying I have experienced already in my life?"

Tenten's eyes go wide as she covers her mouth in shock. "I… I never really thought about it that way."

"Thankfully, I can be very dense sometimes, and I just ignore those experiences as they happen during the heat of battle. Sometimes though, late at night, once the fighting is over and I am lying in bed recovering from the fight, those memories can come back as flashbacks to haunt my dreams." He scratches his chin thoughtfully as some memory catches his attention for a moment and he has to shake his head to force it back deep into his psyche. "So, I started playing around with the Shadow Clone Jutsu to see if I could come up with a way to protect myself from getting those memories of pain and death over and over again. I came up with something, but it was worthless for me in combat. It reduced my ability to learn an opponent's skills and I would not regain any unused chakra that my shadow clone had before it was dispersed."

Naruto holds up a finger and smiles derisively. "For dealing with annoying people it was great. I made a shadow clone, he walked around with them for a while and he was miserable, so I could do whatever I wanted and not be bothered. When I woke up there were no boring memories trying to wedge itself into my hung over brain. To be honest I have been curious if any of my clones dispersed too early, because either I or they had gotten too drunk to maintain their existence, but nobody has said anything about that so far." He gives a shrug and lets out a big sigh, as if he was a little disappointed.

"You mean you came up with the new jutsu so you could sit around alone and miserable, while getting drunk to try and forget why you were feeling alone and miserable?" Before he could reply she sarcastically adds. "Plus you had the added bonus of having no idea of what you said or did the night before. I can't see where that could come back and cause you any problems down the road. Can YOU Naruto?"

Naruto's shoulders slump under Tenten's harsh, but truthful observation. "It was that night with those girls that I did finally sobered up enough to realize that I was starting to hurt some innocent people as well, and I stopped. I stopped drinking and even going out into public without some sort of disguise jutsu."

The fact that he mentions innocent people getting hurt makes Tenten wonder who got hurt, and just how badly they were hurt in the process. "I remember the day we got home from that mission was the last time I saw you again until after your training accident with Gaara." She reaches over and brushes back a strand of blonde hair away from his eyes. "I just figured that you had immediately left the village again."

Naruto just shrugs in answer to her probing observation. "To protect the innocent from myself I had to stop being me, I had left the village and made the road my home like Pervy Sage. I had given up on my dreams to become Hokage, so why not just completely give up being Uzumaki Naruto to protect everyone. With Kurama and me not talking at that time, the loneliness and isolation of my childhood came back even stronger, and that only made the depression I had been feeling even worse."

"I bet all those fangirls chasing after you reminded you of someone didn't it Naruto?" Tenten ignores the sudden dangerous look in Naruto's eyes and keeps cutting at the obvious wound, hoping that eventually it might finally stimulate some healing. "That would explain why most of the girl's rumored to have spent some time with you all seem to have similar qualities." Tenten shrugs at the obvious question of why she had made that statement. "Kiba and Ino were sharing notes on the rumors. I do believe that is why the two of them grew so close, after spending time together talking about the gossip, they found out they actually enjoyed each other's company and wanted to spend even more time hanging out together. In a way, you are responsible for their happiness." She holds up her hand to forestall his angry outburst. "Don't worry, we made them swear to not go into details about the rumors with Hinata or anyone else outside our group of friends. Hinata was only told that you were seen keeping company with some of your fangirls, not what they looked like, Shino was very adamant on that point."

Naruto stands up and walks across the room. "You know, it is really creepy to find out my personal life was the subject of so much talk amongst my friends." Naruto just stares at Tenten in wide-eyed shock, bordering on disgust, that his personal life was some sort of casual dinner conversation between his friends.

"It is because we are your friends, we were very worried about you, Naruto. We were hoping to figure out what happened and how we could possibly help fix things. Kiba and Shino were doing it for Hinata too, of that I am sure." She stands up from the bed but does not completely close the distance between them. "You were acting so angry and hurt back then, and we were worried that you might do something rash and get yourself hurt or worse. You finally did go off and nearly get yourself killed in that sparing match mishap with Gaara." She steps forward and places a hand gently on his arm. "All of your friends and teammates were very worried about you, all of them." She hopes that her hint about teammates will reach his heart and let him understand who she is trying to insinuate. Ino had told her that the night word had come in about his injuries that Sakura had gone to the Hokage begging to be sent to the Sand Village and personally care for Naruto. After her request had been denied Sakura had locked herself in her apartment for days, refusing to see anyone.

The look of shock fades and is replaced with a deep sadness. "The night before my incident with Gaara I secretly came back to the Leaf Village using the Flying Thunder God Technique. I used a transformation jutsu to look like some random guy and just stood outside the academy for a while thinking. I mainly thought about how I had left the village and gave up my lifelong dream. Do you know what a life without a dream to chase is like, Tenten?"

Tenten, a chill running through her body as she looks into his eyes, can only shake her head quietly. 'When you are around him and look into those bright blue eyes and great big smile, you forget about all of the pain he really has been hiding deep inside all of his life. Now that I can see some of that pain he carries laid bare, it makes me feel ashamed at how I treated people after Neji's death. I acted like nobody could possibly hurt inside as much as I felt, I was wrong.' Naruto's voice brings her out of her own introspection.

He looks at her with a solemn look of someone who has looked too deeply into the void seeking to find answers, and lost more than he gained. "I will tell you the truth. It's meaningless, a life with no dream to reach for feels like it has lost its meaning, and when that happens life becomes meaningless. Sometimes it is the life of others that has no meaning to you, and I think that is what happened to some of the shinobi I have fought over the years. To other people, it is their own life that becomes meaningless."

Naruto pulls his arm free with a sudden jerk and heads towards the door. "I am going out for a bit, I need some time to think. When you talk with the others tell them that I would appreciate it if what happened here today would be kept quiet when we get back home."

He pauses outside the room and stares at the now closed door before muttering so softly that only he can hear his own words. "I went back to the Sand Village that night, actually hoping that I might die in a training accident attempting my new jutsu." Naruto heads outside to think about his past and what kind of options he might have left for his future.

Tenten lays down in Naruto's bed and stares up at the ceiling lost in thought. After several minutes of head scratching and muttering incoherently she sits up and looks out the window. "I just don't know. If you have sex only using shadow clones can you still be considered a virgin? Physically yes, but mentally no. So that's a tough call."

Letting out a heavy sigh Tenten gets up out of the bed. "I guess I have avoided my responsibilities as a sensei long enough with stupid little distractions. I need to have a little talk with my students, one in particular, about some of the pitfalls in the type of life we lead." As she shuts the door behind her Tenten thinks about the rooms missing occupant. "Naruto, whatever you are doing right now, please just don't do anything… rash, tonight."