APRIL 2005
"Chug! CHUG! CHUUUUG!" The crowd broke into a deafening cheer, coming from every direction, as the figure doing a handstand on the beer keg, with the help of those around, finished.
From my side, Tanya let out a little scoff, taking a sip from her red, plastic cup filled with an amber-looking and awful-smelling liquid. "Those poor souls," she muttered with a shake of her head. I managed a smile, even if it was a half-assed one.
"T!" a guy next to the silver beer keg, now without anyone to inhabit it for drinking, waved at the shorter girl beside me to come join.
Tanya's almond, corkscrew curls bounced as she shook her head once more. Handing me her cup, she moving towards the keg with the crowd joining into another cheer.
"GO, TANYA!" I yelled through my hands shaped into an enhancer, applauding to show my support.
But as the curvy figure was busy doing a handstand, without any help, I took a step back. Swallowed up by the shadows of the trees, I disappeared from the loud crowd.
Tanya would understand, I told myself as I sat her empty cup down on a tree stump on my way through a glade not too far away from the party in the dark forest. Choosing my path carefully, to avoid drunk figures wandering around in the gloom light, I set my eyes for the parking lot hinting beyond the trees.
The truth was, I wasn't really in a party mood at the moment; hadn't been even when Tanya had suggested the night out earlier today. But Tanya since knew that, she wouldn't mind. At least that was what I kept telling myself as I emerged from the woods to arrive in the lot of cars. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I considered sending her a text to explain, or something.
With my phone in my hand, I half-concentrated on the text I was composing, half-scanned the lot for a ride home. Which was why I walked a good few feet past the familiar black jeep, before I realized my mistake and stopped in my tracks. A second later, staring into thin air, I swiveled on my heel.
"Hey," Mason greeted with a careful nod. Pushing himself off of leaning against his jeep, he folded his arms over his chest as he stepped closer. "I think we need to talk." I only stared, trying to feel as little as possible. And failed miserably.
"Damn right." I pressed send on the text to Tanya, walking right past Mason, deliberately bumping into his shoulder, before getting into the jeep.
He was inside a moment after, his movements quiet and careful as he put on his seatbelt. He was even careful when he started the engine. It made my annoyance stirr, which showed by my knee starting to live a life of its own, as it ticked in sync with my twitching heel.
I'd been prepared to wait for ages for him to speak up, to sit and not utter a word as stubbornly as I could, but my lack of patience got the better of me.
"I'm guessing you didn't talk to her," I said, without my eyes leaving the road the car now turned onto. The vehicle hitched a bit, as if Mason hadn't been prepared for the slicing of the tense silence between us. With a repositioning in his seat, he got the jeep to keep moving forward smoothly.
"Carol doesn't exactly listen to anyone who doesn't share her point of view," Mason spoke, quietly. Again, carefully. Like I was a bomb waiting to explode, one who had to be handled with caution. Maybe I was.
"Really? I didn't notice when she accused me of being a whore, golddigger and dragging the good Lockwood name through the dirt." My voice quaked with anger. Feeling it wanting to lash out, I turned my face away, muttering into the palm of my head, "and corrupting you…" Of course, he heard it anyway.
"She's upset–" Mason began. It was enough for me to snap.
"Upset, Mason?" I spat, rapidly turning in my seat to him. "Carol Lockwood is nothing short of a bitch who can't stand seeing a lowlife sleep with someone from her family. It doesn't matter who my parents are to her, because in her eyes my actions has made me into nothing. So don't you dare defend her. Not this time."
Mason sighed, utterly defeated. A contrasting opposite to my rage. "She's family, Parker. How can I not?" My face bristling had him proceeding, quickly. "I know she can be heartless and tactless. Yes, even a bitch. But in the end she's still gonna be part of my life forever. She's married to my brother, Parks. I can shut her out. She's friends with your mom, too, so neither can you."
"Oh, I am very much aware of their relation. Thank you very much," I scowled. "But here you go, doing what you always do."
Mason dared throw a glance at me, instead of watching the road. His eyes mirrored much of what I myself was feeling inside. Hurt; anger. Warning.
"You let your family walk all over you," I began, not caring that he flinched at the accusation. "You're an ass. Sometimes with good reason, yeah. Like when it comes to this town's stupid council everyone wants the oh so trusted founding families to be part of. But that's the only damn time you've ever shown some mind of your own, Mason. Otherwise, all you ever do is pick apart your damn old jeep, drink beer with people practically half your age, and hang out with the same sad crowd you knew during high school!"
Mason's eyes were cold when they met mine. The pounding in my ears picked up further than it had during my speech.
"This has nothing to do with what Carol accused you of," Mason stated, eyeing me relentlessly. I was surprised we hadn't driven us into a ditch yet, given how white his knuckles hugging the wheel were. "It comes back to the same problem: you can't stand this town, nor the people in it. Not your family, not your friends, and certainly not me."
I released a gruff grunt, but he went on.
"We're not good enough for you, Parker. Not exciting enough. Not mysterious enough. Not fun enough. And we never will be."
"Then maybe I should just dump you all and never look back!" I snapped.
"Maybe you should!" Mason retaliated.
We stared at each other, so intensely that I at first didn't even notice the car stopping. Nor that the lawn up to my house was now located behind me.
"Fine," I said, feeling my burning eyes want to pop out of my head, as I met his orbs ablaze. "Fine. As soon as I'm out of school and free, I'll go. And I won't look back. Because, unlike you, Mase, I actually want something with my life. I want to see places. I want to do things. I want to be something more than that person who never let go of high school. Because I have passion in my life. What do you have? Do you have anything to live for beyond this petty, boring town?"
After a moment, he replied. And with his flat voice and intense eyes on me, almost in disgust, it was the final nail to the coffin. "I thought I did."
Everything inside of me twisted, my face following and shaping into a horrible mask.
Without another word, I shoved the car door open and hurled myself out, slamming it shut behind me.
With every step I took towards the house, I felt each leave a blow of my ire in the ground. Until I was nothing but a hollow mess, reaching for the front door.
The quiet darkness inside was welcomed, enclosing itself around me as I sank to the floor with my back to the door. Every muscle inside of me pounded and shook. My whole body followed, as I banged out the last bit of my fury and heartbreak into the floor using my fist. Then sat in silence.
It wasn't until then that I felt another presence in the room with me. As silent as it was calm, the silhouette rose from a chair in the kitchen to move towards me. Even if I hadn't just had my heart mangled into tiny, furious pieces, I wouldn't have wanted to face it.
"Sweetie…" Mom began, as she flicked on a lonely light on a table by the staircase, her wrinkled forehead of concern becoming evident for the world to see.
"It's over," was all I said, quickly getting to my feet. "I don't wanna talk about it."
"Parker–" Mom tried with her always so sweet voice, now laced with an overwhelming amount of love. I couldn't take it.
"No, Mom. I'm good. Really. I just want to be alone right now," I stated, side-stepping around her to get to the stairs. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. This is for the best. Really."
"Honey…" she tried again, but I was already halfway up the steps, my ears deaf to the rest of her plea.
The yellow walls in this bathroom really were ghastly hideous. And the only thing I had to stare at, after I'd splashed my burning face with cold water. Although I was saved from focusing on the sight too long, as what I had been expecting to come sounded from one of the three doors leading inside, the one to the upper hallway.
Five knocks, forming a little beat, came from the equally yellow and hideous door to my siblings' shared bathroom. Testing my knocker's patience, I turned my face to study it in the mirror. Panic didn't look good on me.
"Parks?" took over after the knocks. "Can I come in?"
For a moment, I hesitated, staring into my dark eyes, at their matching circles my lazily applied foundation hadn't managed to conceal, as I chewed on my lip, deciding.
The door creaked a little as I pushed it open, revealing a tall figure with light brown, curly hair staring back at me.
"I'm getting a bad déjà vu feeling about this," I sighed and motioned for Mason to close the door after him, as I sat down on the closed toilet seat.
"I can already tell that you're not okay, so I won't bother asking," Mason said, taking position by leaning his back against the washbasin cabinet. When he noticed the running water, about to reach to turn it off, I protested.
"Don't!" I reached out my hand, curling it into a fist as Mason's surprised gaze landed on me. "Just… Leave it."
Slowly, Mason drew back his hand, as something changed in his blue eyes. "You know," he stated
"Yeah," I admitted. "But let's just not talk about that right now." With another sigh, I rubbed at my forehead.
"Can't help but feel a little bad for shit-talking the Council now," Mason commented. I couldn't help the little smile spreading, as I rested my palm against my closed lids.
"I still think they're a bunch of nutters though."
Mason chuckled. "I see that you traveled the world, just like you said." Removing my hand, I watched him with a brow raised in question. "Nutter? Sounds a little British, if you ask me." Mason's simper faltered. "You managed to escapes this petty, boring town."
My own smile faded as well. "You memorized my words," I stated, my gaze pierced to the white tiles covering the bathroom floor.
"How could I not?"
At the memory resurfacing, suddenly as fresh as if it had occured yesterday, I pinned my eyes shut. He'd been far from his usual cheerful self that day, which seemed to be the case now as well. But instead of anger, sorrow was on the menu.
"Look, Mason, everything I said–"
"Was exactly what you meant," Mason filled in. Surprised, I opened my eyes and raised my head to meet his earnest voice. "I regret things said that night, too. But we were both angry, and so very, very young. I'm glad you got what you wanted, Parks. To see the world. Really." He smiled, but I couldn't help but see the sadness in it. "And if you hadn't said what you did, who knows how long I would've stayed in this town. Still drinking behind the bleachers."
He winked, but I couldn't muster up the energy to respond in kind. Still feeling the heaviness of the years that had passed.
"My point is, that I don't want you to feel like crap for all that whenever I'm around," Mason went on. "I want us to at least be friends." The suggestion settling between us, I stared at the yellow lower cabinet, trying to feel out what I wanted. What I could bear.
"Mase, I really wish we could be. But…" Forcing my gaze to raise, it came to meet Mason's. "You were my first real love–" Not counting Tim, the bastard. "–and I don't think I could ever really shake those feelings and pretend to be fine, after everything that happened. They're always gonna be there, whether I like it or not. And they're always gonna hurt, a tiny bit."
Whilst Mason didn't look pleased, he still nodded, ever so understanding. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"I know. Me too."
There was a slight pause, only the running water cutting the silence and filling the small room.
"I guess you should know I feel the same," Mason finally spoke. His hands hugged the counter surrounding the sink.
"I'll keep that in mind." A weak smile managed to surface on my face. "But I gotta know, Mase." Switching tracks abruptly, I abandoned our little moment of past heartbreak and possible amends. Instead very serious, for an entierly different reason. "Did you activate it?"
Mason watched my serious expression, as if debating what the right answer was. If I deserved the truth. Finally, he answered with a faint nod. "Yeah. Yeah, I did."
"We've been standing here for hours!"
"You just left, like, thirty minutes ago. Talk about a hyperbole!" I scoffed, turning to pace in the other direction on the front porch.
"It's… I'm really worried about Stefan, okay?" Elena sighed from my phone. "He hasn't returned any of my calls all day."
"He's a guy, sis," I pointed out. "Sometimes they act douchey, but that doesn't mean that you should come running right away."
"Well, he's not like that," Elena argued. Given, she might have a point: Stefan was a bit of a saint. A vampire saint. When he didn't go on a bloody spree and killed a bunch of people, that was. But those were pretty rare, these days. "It's not the kind of relationship we have. Oh, why did the car have to break down now!" My sister's frustrated sigh blew through the phone. In pure instinct, I withdrew the device to hold it a few inches from my ear, in fear of her yelling at me through it; she had a pretty good track record of doing just that.
"I would come and pick you up, but since I don't have a car…"
"It's okay," Elena reassured, sounding somewhat calmer. "We'll wait a little longer and then I'll call Jenna or something… Okay, I gotta go. Caroline's giving me a murderous look."
"Seems to be happening more and more often…" I heard the sharp intake of air, indicating my sister's action of soon hanging up the phone. "Wait! Can I just ask you something really quick?"
"Sure," Elena permitted.
"Is it just me, or is Caroline acting a bit strange?" I had barely talked to the woman all afternoon, being busy thoroughly avoiding Mason, but a weird, suspicious feeling had still begun to creep in.
"She's a vampire now, Parks," Elena reminded me, her voice matter-of-factly. "Of course she's bound to seem a little different."
"It's not that…." I mumbled. It was almost as if the blonde vampire was hiding something.
"I'll listen to you speculate more about that later, but now…" Her impatience coming out, mixed with worry, made a very bad combo.
"Yeah, okay, I got it. I'll talk to you later then."
That seemed to spark Elena's memory. "Oh, yes! You are definitely filling me in on what happened in the bathroom with Mason after I left."
"Fine," I said with an exhaled laugh, shaking my head. She hung up with a content sound. "Busybody," I added.
"Who is?" Alaric asked, just opening the front door and sticking his head out.
"Who do you think?" I chuckled, tucking my phone away. "You're leaving?"
"Oh nooo," he empethized, dragging his no out with a shake of the head. "I'm on dish dudy. But the rest are breaking up."
Following him inside, I came face to face with Jenna walking Mason out.
"No more takers for drinks at the Grill?" Mason checked with his arms out in a grand gesture. Along with Jenna and Alaric, finding one another like a magnets and sticking at the hips, I smilingly shook my head. "It's like I'm with a bunch of adults here!" Mason complained, jokingly. However, the glance he cut my way was understanding enough. Maybe there was hope yet.
"I prefer the term role model," Jenna corrected
"Okay. Well, thanks for having me." Mason embraced Jenna in a hug. "It was awesome." He drew back, moving around her and stopping in front of me whilst blocking my aunt's prying eyes. "It was good to see you, Parks." Mason nodded. Briefly weighing my decision, I stepped forward to pull him into a quick hug.
"You too, Mase." His still familiar scent was imposible to not breathe in, and it lingered around me as I pulled back. As if noticing the whiff stuck in my nose, Mason brought out his signature, laid-back grin.
"Alaric," Mason proceeded, continuing his farewells by shaking Ric's hand. "Catch that game next week?"
"Yeah, I look forward to it," the history teacher responded.
"Hey, you know, I should probably head out too," Damon said, walking through the hallway from the kitchen to join the parting crowd.
Mason responded with a curtly nod Damon's way and gave me a last wink, before exiting via the front door. Watching his back disapear out the door with a frown, I got the feeling something had happened between those two whilst I took my phonecall; and either it was very good, or the worst thing possible, given the circumstances.
"Jenna." Damon stopped before the strawberry blonde woman to take her hand. "You are a wonderful hostess," he complimented, placing a kiss on her hand.
"And you are a terrible artist," Jenna replied and ripped her hand free from the jet-black haired man's grip with a stern glare.
"Is that the only thing that makes me terrible?" Damon checked, almost hopefully.
Jenna threw a quick glance my way. "I'm still deciding."
"Good enough for me," Damon declared with his hands raised. He moved towards the front door, but halted before me. Jenna's gaze now burnt holes into the side of my face. "Parker."
Straightening up my posture with my arms crossed, I intently awaited Damon's potentially frivolous comments, bound to come since those had been fairly few so far this afternoon.
"Am I still a complete psycho?" he checked with a charming smirk.
I held back a laugh to Jenna's mouth dropping open out in the corner of my eye. "You're getting there," I gave him, causing Damon's smirk to grow. He seemed pleased enough, as he made his way around me to the door, brushing back just a bit too close. I would've bumped him away as a warning, but he was already out of my reach before I had time to react.
"Alaric," the vampire said as he was halfway out the front door. "Let's not catch that game next week."
Ric had a hint of a smile as Jenna turned to me with a meaning look. "Bromance," she declared.
"No such thing," I responded, singsongingly. "I'm heading out too." I opened my arms for Jenna to enter and hugged my aunt tightly. "I have a boss who needs to be buttered up."
"Yeah, right. How many shifts did you miss thanks to your little unexpected trip out of town?" Jenna inquired with poorly hidden bitterness. Why people couldn't just accept that I didn't want everyone to know where I was every second of every day was just beyond me. Jeez!
"Too many," I sighed. "Bella's gonna kill me. Could you flunk her little brother for me as revenge if so?" I asked Alaric as I hugged him as well.
"It's against the faculty's rules, I'm afraid," he said, loud enough for Jenna to hear. "Maybe," was the whispered answer that reached my ears. Withdrawing, I rewarded him with a smile. I knew he was a good guy.