Like I've said on Sowlmate's last chapter, I apologize for not posting earlier this chapter but I didn't have internet and couldn't work onn the chapters about the Inter-High. I'm in a finals moment so I don't know when I'll be able to post again + I might go on an archeologicla site soon which means, no internet. I'm sorryfor not posting regularly... :/
Thank youf ro everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D Over 300 followers and 250 favorites and reviews? It's a blessing! :D THANK YOU!
AmericanNidiot : You posted the review right as I posted last chapter! I'm glad you liked the scene with the birds! :D I loved writing them, and I'll write more of their little adventures! :3
Krisia : Once the InterHigh is done, the mystey will be lifted, don't worry ;) Just a few more chapters :) Ahah, I'm glad you liked Yuuna being gay! :D Diversity is important! ;) And as for the mystery lady Oikakwa ~has a crush on~(he doesn't want to admit it might be more than that) she won't appear in this fanfic (probably) but has appeared very quickly in Sowlmates in the chapter of the Miyagi InterHigh AND she willl be, obviously, the main OC of the future Oikawa story. Last chapter was a bit to introduce Tooru's trouble about his love life for his own story... ;)
pinkdoughtnuts : I'm so happy you liked last chapter! :D Yuuna's beauty is in her love for Kiku, like you said, it's unconditional and she'll definitely reappear and this part of the story will definitly be borught up at some point. Also, Hajime's reaction will be funny to write when he realizes she was just pissed off because she was jealous. Oikawa's lady won't be revealed until his story, not even her name. Even for HIM her name is a mystery! ;) But how he feels and the existence of this girl will eb brought up at some point in this story later on :) I hope it was a good revelation, and I wish you lots of love~! :D
AnimeViolinist001 : Ahah, I like your reaction to last chapter! XD Don't worry, Kiku's story will be revealed soon, and until then, lots of epic and cute moments to come! :)
: Thank you so much for your review, it made me very happy! I hope you'll love the rest of this story as much as you liked it so far! :) Unfortunately, Oikawa's lady isn't Shimizu, even if it's be interesting, but she'll be revealed in a future story that will involve Oikawa's own love story. ;)
Houshikun001 : I'm very, very excited about Oikawa's story because I plan on exploring his character SO MUCH that I'll know him like the back of my hand. He's such an intresting and deep character, he's a dream character to write about for writers! :D I wouldn't really call it a "love triangle" because Kiku doesn't feel anything romantic for Yuuna and Yuuna doesn't expect aything from Kiku either... Yuuna will defiitely reappear though! :D
Musk360 : Thankk youf ro your review! :D I'm so happy to know that you like it! :D Kijime isdefinitely a fluffy couple that makes me go "Kyaaa~" when I write about them~! Oikawa's lady won't appear in this story but she very quickly appears in another (Sowlmate) and of course, she'll be the main OC in Oikawa's story. This story will end until the end of their third-year, give or take... at least until all the canon manga/anime moments are done and all of the mini-arcs of the story done as well. Then, there'll be a long epilogue from a fw years in the future (+ if you'll read Oikawa's story, which aren't published yet because that'd be too many stories, there'll be lots of Kijime as well) I get the quotes from goodreads but there are a lot that I just find, and if it reminds me of a couple or a moment in my fanfics, I keep it in a file to put later in the chapters. :)
LuxKlara : Kiku no sa che Yuuna è innamorata di lei, o non avrebbe parlato tanto di Hajime... Non vuole fare male a la sua amica... La storia di Kiku sarà rivelata presto. La sua storia è tristezza ma... anche ha moltissima gioia! :)
FANFICTION
HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE
CHAPTER XXV : Mutual Inspiration
"Why do they always teach us that it's easy and evil to do what we want and that we need discipline to restrain ourselves? It's the hardest thing in the world – to do what we want. And it takes the greatest kind of courage. I mean, what we really want."
― Ayn Rand
"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'."
― Maya Angelou
"Failure is an option, fear is not."
― James Cameron
"It's time to care; it's time to take responsibility; it's time to lead; it's time for a change; it's time to be true to our greatest self; it's time to stop blaming others."
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
"An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear."
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
"We are our choices."
― Jean-Paul Sartre
"The most special relationships, in my experience, are based on a combination of trust and mutual respect."
― Charles Kennedy
"That was what a best friend did: hold up a mirror and show you your heart."
― Kristin Hannah, Firefly Lane
"That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself."
― Cecily von Ziegesar, Nobody Does it Better
"I need these papers filled and brought back to me by next week. If some of you are confused, if you need help to figure out your orientation, the guidance counselor receives you everyday." Their teacher announced.
Students of the class five only half-listened, impatient to go have lunch and thinking that even if they were in their third-years, they still had plenty of time ahead of them to decide of their future. Among the chaotic atmosphere of lunch, Iwaizumi and Akiyama remained sitting, staring down at the papers distributed earlier by their teacher.
There were several lines for all of the possible orientations the students were considering for studying next year. Choosing a university, a field to study, your future job, your future life… It felt so far away it was hard to imagine any of this but in the same time, it was so close that it was making them feel dizzy. How could they be asked to choose their future with just a few words written down on a paper when so many doubts and questions were in their minds?
Glancing around, Iwaizumi noticed that several people had left to get lunch, leaving the papers either untouched or with their wishes already written down. He glanced down once again, his pen jumping nervously over his fingers but in the end, he decided not to write anything yet… Whenever he thought about his future… he didn't see anything in particular, he didn't wish anything in particular and it worried him more than he'd care to admit.
Turning on his left, he noticed Kiku who had written down several options already. Surprised that she had barely hesitated, he straightened up:
"You know what you'll do next year?" He asked.
Startling, Kiku glanced between the paper and him before nodding with a flush on her cheeks.
"I have several ideas but… I'll need to talk with the guidance counselor and my parents to be sure of my choice… And you? Will you continue volleyball professionally?" She asked with a smile.
She was so sure he'd continue that when Hajime hesitated and glanced down at the paper, she felt her world shattering.
"Don't tell me… you'll do something else…?" She hesitated but as he glanced up at her, opening his lips, she caught herself and shook her head, "I'm sorry, it's not my place to judge, I shouldn't have said that. It's… it's your choice in the end…"
"My choice, yeah…" He mumbled, folding the paper in half and throwing it in his notebook with the hope that he wouldn't have to think about it for a while – even though he knew that time was ticking.
"Kiku-chan!"
Yukimura Shinobu arrived with her bento and a smile:
"Do we eat lunch together today?" She asked eagerly.
Kiku flushed but nodded, bending down to retrieve her bento after she made sure her orientation paper was hidden in her notebook.
"Have you written anything yet, Shinobu-san?" Kiku asked politely as she rose, Hajime watching the two girls walk around.
"Literature! I'll study at Tohoku University next year! And you?"
"Ah, um… I still hesitate…"
Before leaving the classroom, Kiku turned around towards Iwaizumi who startled when he was caught staring.
"Iwaizumi-san? Will you… do you want to join us for lunch?"
He hesitated before shaking his head with a smile. At some point without he realized any of it, these two had started talking and they were having lunch together almost everyday. Sometimes Iwaizumi joined, sometimes Oikawa and the other third-years of the volleyball club would be there as well.
"I have lunch with Oikawa, I'll see you later girls," he said, standing up to go find Oikawa.
Kiku hesitated, something close to disappointment appearing in her eyes before she nodded and followed her friend. They went their way while Iwaizumi advanced in the other way, towards the crowd of girls surrounding Oikawa and trapping him from going to buy his lunch.
Later, at practice…
"Everyone, gather around!" Oikawa called loudly.
The entire team went around him, everyone turning to their coaches and manager.
"We received the brackets of the Inter-High," Irihata started, distributing a few papers around for the players to look at.
Whispers and conversations started to erupt as they looked at the other teams in their group and the possible outcomes for every matches. Kiku glanced up at the other third-years who were discussing the teams in their group – for once, the only one who was silent was Oikawa.
"You don't play on the first day?" She asked curiously, confused about the brackets.
Iwaizumi turned to her with a smile to explain:
"Only in the morning, our first match will be in the afternoon. We're in the top four of Miyagi – the top teams are heads of groups and thus, don't play the first match."
"Ooh… You're so strong, Iwaizumi-san!" She exclaimed proudly.
He flushed and tried to hide his embarrassment – especially when the others snickered at him.
"T-the whole team is… not just me and… it depends on whether or not I'll be able to play this time…" He mumbled, glaring down at his hand.
His wrist wasn't held in a splint anymore, but it was bandaged and he still wasn't allowed to play. It was torture watching the others practice more and more intensely with the Inter-High coming up but being unable to do anything except point out their (rare) mistakes. Oikawa has been mostly working with Kindaichi and Kunimi who were the two regular first-years so that they would be in synch in time for the competition.
Iwaizumi knew that he was strong and had skills and that three little weeks without playing won't damage his plays but… it was so frustrating. Now more than any other time he couldn't afford to slack off. They were in their third-year, it was their last year, their last Inter-High, their last chance to win it and go to Nationals. For a moment, he thought back on the paper in his bag for his project next year. He shook his head then noticed his friend's unusual silence.
"What is it, Oikawa?" He asked, attracting the attention of the other third-years to their Captain who glanced up.
"We have Karasuno in our group," he simply said.
Iwaizumi glanced back down, realizing that, indeed, Karasuno High-school was in their group, which meant…
"Kageyama…" He whispered, knowing how much Oikawa wanted to destroy the first-year setter.
"And their crazy quick with the little guy – the one who kept jumping super high at the practice match," Hanamaki reminded them while Kiku glanced from one to another as she took some notes.
"It'd be good to see if they have made any progress, we might face them," Iwaizumi said.
"It's only if Karasuno beats both Tokonami and Datekou." Mattsun remarked.
"They will," Oikawa said with a strong gaze, "I'm sure of it. It's my chance to crush Tobio-chan and then – it'll be Ushiwaka's turn!" He exclaimed, clenching his fist around the bracket.
There was a short moment of silence, Iwaizumi closely observing his friend because he knew that more than anyone, Oikawa wanted to beat his rivals and go to Nationals.
Kiku glanced at each and every one of the third-years, all of them with dark but determined expressions on their faces. She knew about how Aoba Jousai kept facing Shiratorizawa in finals – and losing against Ushiwaka's great power. She knew that both Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been going against Ushijima for years but… seeing up-close the team preparing themselves, practicing in order to get stronger, determination flowing in their veins… it was totally different from watching from afar.
Her gaze landed on Iwaizumi who was staring at his hand and the brackets, something close to uncertainty shining in his eyes. It was so unusual to see the resilient Ace hesitant that she wasn't sure what to do or say.
The others advanced to go talk with Irihata but before Iwaizumi could follow, Kiku put her hand on his forearm, attracting his attention to her.
"It'll be fine, your hand will be healed," she told him with a smile.
He hesitated before nodding but his lips were still thin.
"Yeah but… I would have missed three weeks of practice – what if these weeks have determined our victory or defeat against Shiratorizawa? If I lack power and we lose because of that…"
His voice trailed off but Kiku frowned lightly and stepped forward, her hand still resting on his forearm, just above his wrist, so near his hand. She wanted to hold his hand and reassure him, he wanted to hold onto her for confidence and comfort… but neither moved.
"Isn't volleyball a teamwork? If you lose, it won't be because of that – it won't be your fault but everyone's!"
Hajime glanced into Kiku's eyes but then, her confidence wavered and she quickly tried to correct her words:
"I-I d-don't mean that you'll absolutely lose, o-of course… j-just… you'll win! I'm sure! Because you all have an amazing teamwork, you said it yourself just a moment ago – you're strong because you're a team!" She exclaimed enthusiastically.
Slowly, Hajime smiled then nodded.
"Yeah, you're right, we're strong and we're gonna win," he said with a confident smile.
He ruffled her hair then followed the others, leaving a thunderstruck Kiku behind. She took a strand of hair between her fingers, her heart speeding up as she watched the Ace walk away… Even after all these years, he could still surprise her, she could still discover new expressions on his face, he could still make her fall in love with him without realizing it…
For once, Oikawa didn't stay behind at practice for unreasonable hours and after some more practice, the regulars all went to take their showers, Iwaizumi making sure to lock everything behind them before waiting for them in the locker room because, without practice, he didn't need to take a shower.
"And how was it?" Makki asked with a grin as the three third-years exited the shower to get dressed, Iwaizumi glancing up at them in confusion.
"You don't need the details, Makki! But it felt very very good – like always! It's just so fulfilling!" Oikawa exclaimed with a silly grin on his face while the two friends smirked teasingly.
"What is?" Iwaizumi asked, feeling at a loss.
"Oikawa got laid the other day," Makki answered before the setter had time to say anything.
"Don't say it like that, Makki!" He scolded.
"Eeeh… so you and Marika did it, then? It took you longer than usual, do you actually care for your girlfriend this time?" Iwaizumi asked with a smile.
"I always care for my girlfriend!" He whined, quickly putting on his uniform and drying his hair with a towel.
"Was she a virgin?" Makki asked to go back on the main topic (and the most interesting one to his tastes).
"No, she wasn't and don't expect any more details from me! I know how you are and I know that you'll share the information with anyone!" Oikawa hissed, glaring half-heartedly at his friend, "I'm going to dry my hair," he mumbled, hurrying to the other side of the room to get a hold of the hair dryer before Yahaba could get it.
"You know what information I want? What Kiku likes doing in bed. It'd be pretty useful for Iwaizumi when they'll be dating." Makki continued, turning a teasing grin towards the Ace.
He startled and blushed, his phone slipping from his hands from embarrassment.
"Wha– don't! D-don't say this sort of stuff!" He exclaimed while bending down to retrieve his phone.
"Why not? You probably thought of it a few times and… let's be honest here… It's Kiku. She's a good dancer and she's a gymnast which means…"
His voice trailed off when he let his head got through his shirt then continued with a nonchalant smile:
"She's very flexible."
He turned his eyes towards Iwaizumi who blushed even more, trying not to think of any of this at the moment and even less about the possibility of the girl he liked being… flexible.
"Do you think she masturbates?" Mattsun asked, turning towards Makki who shrugged.
"No idea, I never asked. I probably should. Oh! Perhaps I could give her a few pictures and videos of Iwaizumi when he takes off his clothes, or comes out of the shower and perhaps she'll–"
Knowing that at this point they were just trying their hardest to embarrass and annoy him, Iwaizumi just shook his head and turned away from them as Makki and Mattsun continued sharing their theories concerning Kiku.
"Oikawa, you're done?" He asked, standing up and walking to him.
"Yes, yes! Almost!"
"Don't say 'yes' if it's 'almost'," he answered.
Oikawa whined and after making sure his hair looked as good as always, that everyone was gone, and everything locked, the setter and Ace started walking home, the night slowly falling.
"By the way," Iwaizumi spoke up, "You haven't told me yet about what you meant the other day about not confessing to Kiku."
Both remembered Tooru's strange behavior after seeing Kiku and Sato Yuuna in town. Yuuna, best friend of Kiku and similar to Oikawa in many ways, had managed to shake up both of their minds. Iwaizumi wasn't sure whether or not his best friend had ever fallen in love, and he wasn't sure whether or not he knew what love was. If either of them knew about love at all.
Oikawa wasn't sure how he felt anymore and he kept hidden in the deepest parts of his heart his torment, all the while worrying about what Yuu-chan had meant by "Make sure Iwaizumi doesn't confess. Not yet. I'll make sure Kiku tells him the truth before it's too late."
Why wouldn't he be able to confess? What had Kiku gone through for things to be "too late"? What was Tooru supposed to tell his friend after such words from Yuuna?
"It's something Yuu-chan told me… about Kiku-chan…" He started hesitantly, his friend immediately turning his whole attention to what he'd say next, "…She said it was best for you not to confess yet."
Tooru didn't have the heart to give any more detail about what Yuuna had said: something about a truth that Kiku had kept for herself, something that had happened to her… if Iwaizumi learned that Kiku had not been totally honest with him, that she kept secrets and that it would be the reason why she didn't want to date him – he'd let her go.
Hajime's eyes widened and something flickered – anger, annoyance. He growled and frowned, looking in front of him.
"Yeah, because she thinks I don't know what love is and will hurt Kiku. Tch… she doesn't have a thing to say. She said that, just like you, I don't have a clue when it comes to love."
"She said that about me?" Oikawa asked, eyes widening lightly.
"Actually… I'm the one who said that about you…" He admitted, lowering his gaze to the ground, "It's just that… you never fell in love with anyone, didn't you?"
Tooru froze and Hajime stopped as well, turning around towards him.
More shaken up by this question and mostly, its answer… Tooru looked down then away, biting on his lower lip. He should answer, he should say something but his voice was stuck in his throat.
Hajime sighed, understanding without a word what was the answer.
"Look, Oikawa, if you never fell in love with anyone, it's… normal I suppose – we're still in high-school and everything we feel, everything we do is messed up because we know nothing of life and our actions are driven by our testosterone."
"That's… a pretty good summary of my love life, actually…" Oikawa admitted with a nervous chuckle.
Iwaizumi smiled as well, feeling just as confused when it came to his feelings – except when he thought about Kiku herself. Then, everything was clear and peaceful…
His gaze softened and his shoulders dropped as he continued:
"I don't get why, without knowing what love is, you pushed me to fall in love with Kiku… but… now, I'm not going back from it, I'm serious about her so you'd better help me face the consequences of everything from now on because… I'm totally lost about what I'm supposed to do next."
Tooru opened his lips to say that the next step would be to ask Kiku out but Yuuna's words came back to haunt him…
"Make sure Iwaizumi doesn't confess. Not yet. I'll make sure Kiku tells him the truth before it's too late."
Thankfully, Tooru never had to find another answer because Hajime took a deep breath and spoke up once again:
"Well, for the moment, I want to focus on the Inter-High – and so should you. We should all focus on the Inter-High… Then, we'll settle our love problems."
Oikawa stared at his friend whose eyes were shining with determination. Slowly, he smiled, the same resolve appearing on his face.
"Have you ever known me not focused on a volleyball competition?" He asked with his usual happy-go-lucky voice.
Hajime smirked as they arrived to their homes, going to their respective apartments and families.
After dinner and his bath, Hajime settled down behind his desk to do his homework but when opening his notebook, the paper for the orientation made him stiffen and frown. He stared at it for a while before reaching for a file he had received in the mail a few days ago. A letter by the Kanemoto Group for being sponsored for a volleyball career, accompanied with many fliers and documents about the life of a pro-athlete doubled with that of a student. He stared at all the domains and fields that the University of Tokyo offered but he was at a loss… Did he want to continue his studies in a field in particular? He didn't dislike any subject, but he didn't have a particular liking in any either – except maybe sports but… Did he even want to continue volleyball as a pro-athlete?
"Iwa-chan!"
He jumped and turned around, quickly trying to hide the documents as Oikawa waltzed in his bedroom as if he owned it.
"Damn it, Oikawa! Learn to knock or warn before coming in!" He exclaimed.
"It's fine, it's fine~! It's not like you were jerking yourself off or anything~!" He exclaimed, sitting down on the bed.
Hajime's cheeks flushed, then he blushed even more when he noticed his mother in the doorway, sending him a strange look with a raised eyebrow. He got up and closed the door then turned towards his friend to scold him but Oikawa had managed to get to his desk and was already looking through the documents and papers.
"You received the orientation papers too? I already wrote 'volleyball' – why didn't you? I'll write it for you if you–"
"Oi, oi, OI! Stop! Stop it!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, grabbing paper and pens from Oikawa's hands and quickly putting everything away from the nosy setter.
Oikawa stared at his friend, not understanding his reaction as he frantically put away everything from his gaze, as if it'd keep it all safe and sound.
"Iwa-chan… don't tell me… you… won't continue volleyball?" He asked in a trembling voice.
"Iwa-chan! When we'll be older, we'll both play on the National team and we'll be the best setter and Ace the Japanese team has ever known!"
The memory of a sunny day from years ago, of laughter and volleyball made Hajime's heart miss a beat because he hadn't expected such a memory to come back now. Why remember this now?
The vivid gestures of Hajime slowly calmed down as he checked once again that everything was out of reach from Oikawa… then, he turned his head to his friend and shrugged. Oikawa's eyes widened and his lips opened, a hurt and offended look on his face.
"Look, I haven't thought of it yet and I-I don't really… anything would be fine for me, so whether I continue volleyball or not shouldn't concern you and–"
"You're lying."
Hajime looked up, straight into Oikawa's burning gaze, his expression serious. He swallowed hard and sat down on his bed, harshly reminded that if there was one person he couldn't lie to… it was Oikawa Tooru.
"You have thought of it – you received the documents from the Kanemoto Group which means you know you'll be sponsored next year if you choose a volleyball career! Why not continue?! You're a powerful, skilled and brilliant player! Giving up now would be a loss, a waste of your talent! It's so stupid to give up!"
"I'm not giving up!" He exclaimed suddenly, making Oikawa startle, "I'm not… I just… I need to think of all the possibilities…"
"What other possibilities do you have? Do you want to do something else next year?" Oikawa asked, genuinely confused and curious because his friend had never said anything about wanting to do anything in particular.
Iwaizumi glanced at him, hesitated then shrugged.
"I thought of many possibilities – there isn't anything else that really stands out for me and everything would be a good possibility for me. I'm not… I'm not picky so…"
"You should be – it's your future, Iwa-chan! You can't just shrug it off and think you'll be happy just like that!" Oikawa scolded.
A little annoyed that his friend would find so many things to say about his future, Iwaizumi glanced up at Oikawa with a fed up expression on his face:
"Did you even think of any other possibility but volleyball?" He asked in a hard voice.
Tooru opened his mouth and closed it right away. A heavy silence fell on the room.
"I know you always wanted to become a volleyball player but you're forgetting an important factor: life. You've been heavily injured with your knee and you have to realize that perhaps you won't be able to have the career you wish for and–"
"I'll just have to practice and work for it!" Oikawa exclaimed, standing up.
"It's practicing and working, over and over again that got you injured, dumbass!" Iwaizumi shouted back, standing up as well to face him.
The two faced each other, tension sparkling between the two until Iwaizumi forced himself to breathe deeply, taking a step backwards to release the tension.
"…Because you've been injured, no matter how much practice you'll put… it might not work out. And… that's why you have to consider other options, Oikawa…" Iwaizumi said, trying to keep his voice calm even though he was so frustrated.
He turned away to breathe, Oikawa lowering his head and clenching his fists. His eyes were hidden by his hair but after a moment of silence, his voice rose once again, heavy and trembling from emotions.
"What other options do I have…?"
Hajime blinked and turned around just as Oikawa looked up, a frightening expression on his face and his eyes burning with determination. His voice started low and calm before trembling with rage – against his knee, his rivals, his obstacles, his weaknesses, his fate…
"I've only ever had volleyball. If you think that I never thought that my knee would destroy my career before it has a chance to start… or Kageyama's blinding talent, or Ushiwaka's crushing power… you're wrong! I think of it every day because my whole life depends on volleyball and my career!" He hissed.
Hajime was stunned because even though he knew the depth of his friend's determination and rage to vanquish everything that stood in his way, it was the first time he had to face it himself. His lips fell open as Oikawa continued, stepping towards the Ace and looking straight into his eyes:
"I know that I'm betting on an illusory dream, that my hopes might be in vain and that I'm taking the risk of ruining my life – but if I don't take this chance, if I don't bet on this hope and give my all towards this goal… I'll spend the rest of my life regretting making a different choice!"
He paused, breathing shakily from everything he felt before continuing, his features still deformed by raw resoluteness:
"I won't regret the choice I'm making by betting on a volleyball career. But I know that if you make a different choice, if you just shrug it off or decide to doubt of your capacities now… you'll regret it."
There was a short pause during which both friends breathed heavily from how intense the conversation had turned out, from everything they felt at the moment.
Then Oikawa turned away, towards the door to leave. Before leaving, he clenched his teeth and fists before suddenly relaxing, his gaze unwavering.
"The Iwaizumi I know doesn't make wrong choices, he doesn't regret his choices. He doesn't hesitate and he doesn't doubt himself. That's why he's been my Ace for as long as I've played volleyball."
And without another word, Oikawa left the room, leaving a bewildered and shaken up Iwaizumi alone. He swallowed hard then glanced at the documents about the sponsoring…
For as long as he could remember, he's been friend with Oikawa and they've played volleyball… When at first it was just to play, just because spiking was fun… it quickly became one of his favorite thing to do: playing volleyball was always a good time. Then came Middle-school. Both entered Kitagawa Daiichi, a powerhouse of middle-school volleyball. At this point, Oikawa started pulling ahead, showing his skills and talent as a setter and Iwaizumi was always supporting him and by his side. The moment they became regulars on the team, they competed and went all the way to finals… they had felt so ecstatic… Until Ushiwaka's crushing victory. It was their first defeat, the first tears of bitterness and the first time they felt this rage to win the next time, to get their revenge.
Oikawa more than Iwaizumi. It wasn't that Hajime didn't want to win as much as he did, it wasn't that he didn't want his revenge because as KitaIchi's Ace, he was the one competing most against Ushijima but… Oikawa was putting his all, it was his ultimate goal – winning over Ushiwaka and go to Nationals. Even then, Iwaizumi had to choose to be the voice of reason whenever Oikawa would overpractice and risk an injury…
But everything turned even worse when a first-year genius arrived. The moment Kageyama arrived, all of the rage that Oikawa had felt, the will to win against Ushiwaka, it turned into the fear of being overshadowed by his kouhai, that all of his hard work would be erased by the inner talent of a genius, that it had all been for nothing. Fear, panic, doubt, anger… it made a terrible mix and drew Oikawa into a state of desperate rage that Iwaizumi had never seen before that. He went as far as raising his hand against Kageyama, as far as almost hitting an innocent child out of rage… Iwaizumi knew damn well that if he hadn't been here… things would have turned out very differently for all three of them, he knew that Oikawa wouldn't let his feelings overpower him anymore… but it changed their goals and determination. Iwaizumi kept his own wishes at arms' reach so he could keep an eye on his friend, make sure he wouldn't make a mistake he'd regret, making sure he wouldn't injure himself, make sure he wouldn't listen to his demons…
From this point on and until now, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, the setter and his Ace, the Great King and his General, they wanted one thing: to beat Ushiwaka and go to Nationals. It was their focus, their way to ignore the inevitable genius and all the fears and demons he was bringing with him but now that Kageyama was in high-school, there was no more denying that another threat stood between Oikawa and his goal.
Beat Kageyama. Beat Ushiwaka. Go to Nationals. It was all they both focused about, it was their common goal.
Oikawa and Iwaizumi had played volleyball together for as long as they could remember, they had always felt the same fulfillment of a well-played set-up and the absolute joy of breaking through the opponents' wall with a good toss and powerful spike. They always felt the same rage whenever they lost against Shiratorizawa, they always felt the same frustration for all of the months they had spent practicing to lose while they could reach for Nationals but never manage to grab it. Even when Oikawa was considered the best setter of the prefecture, even when Iwaizumi was the sixth best spiker of the country… They couldn't win.
Now what?
They had to choose their futures, their careers, their lives but… for the first time in years, Iwaizumi was hesitating. Because over the years he's seen Oikawa becoming even better than he thought, hoped and expected, polishing his skills, getting stronger, driving everyone with him and Iwaizumi the first one to follow the King… And mostly, he's seen Oikawa becoming the absolute setter everyone admired, someone who could pull out the best of his teammates, keeping in his heart an unwavering faith and confidence that his teammates were the best ones. He was like a light, attracting everyone and making sure that everyone was confident in their skills and power.
But Iwaizumi… as good as he could get, as skilled as he was, as powerful as he was… he was never as good as Oikawa, he was always a step behind, keeping an eye on him to watch his back, to push him forward or pull him backward depending on the situation. It was his own confidence and pride he had to keep in check to make sure that Oikawa was on the right path. And now that he had to choose his path, whether to continue volleyball or not… he doubted himself. He doubted that he could reach the level that a top setter like Oikawa would want from his Ace. He doubted that his power as a sixth spiker, an Ace defeated every single year by Ushiwaka, would be able to stand on the same court as Ushijima and the rest of the top spikers, and mostly the court Oikawa would stand on.
He spent so many years taking care of Oikawa and keeping the setter's fears in check that Iwaizumi forgot to take care of his own fears. The fear of not being good enough, of not being the Ace his friend deserved, of being left behind…
Why did he have to doubt himself now? Why did he have to let his fears catch up to him now? Why now of all times? WHY?
"The Iwaizumi I know doesn't doubt himself. That's why he's been my Ace for as long as I've played volleyball."
"Damn it…" Iwaizumi muttered, clenching his fists.
He hated it when Oikawa was right – but he was always right when it came to Iwaizumi. It was why they were best friends, they knew the other better than they knew themselves.
Hajime knew that despite what he had said, Oikawa was right into choosing a volleyball career. He was making the right choice. He knew it. He'd reach to his goal.
Iwaizumi watched with awed eyes the match he and his best friend were watching. Oikawa was bouncing in excitement while the match from the Olympics was showing on tv.
"Iwa-chan! When we'll be older, we'll both play on the National team and we'll be the best setter and Ace the Japanese team has ever known!" He exclaimed enthusiastically.
Hajime kept watching the Ace jumping up and spiking the ball, his heart swelling with pride at the mere idea that someday, he would be the one standing on this court and being entrusted with the title of Ace. An excited smile illuminated his face as he nodded.
"Yeah!" He answered his friend.
So many things had happened since this time when they were watching volleyball on tv and dreaming of becoming as strong and as talented as the National team…
"I know that if you make a different choice… you'll regret it." Oikawa had said just a few minutes ago.
Hajime took a deep breath then advanced towards the documents he had left alone earlier… he grabbed the orientation paper and a pencil…
"It's not like I listen to your advices, Oikawa… I'm making my own choice, in my own terms." He mumbled as he wrote down his first choice for a career.
Volleyball player
I hope I didn't make any mistake on Iwaizumi - or Oikawa's characters - I tried to explore them, mostly Hajime, and their relationship with each other and towards their rivals + volleyball as deeply as I could. I'm rather proud of how it turned out but well...
Not much Kiku or Kijime in this chapter... but there's an adorable moment next chapter... and also, the Inter-High starts which means that for a chapter or two ( but knowing me it might turn into the double) There will be some cute moments but obviouslyt he focus will be on the competition and the relationships between all of these boys (Iwaizumi, Oiakwa, Kageyama... Ushijima... Ah, expect some Tendou mayhem too.)
I don't know when I'll eb able to post nex chapter because of the finals. If you have some as well... work well and good luck! :D
NEXT CHAPTER : NO REGRET (Levi feels...)
Yours Truly,
May