Fireflies in the dark
For the directionless me, Yuuko sensei was a guiding compass. I have all but to believe in her, trusting in her judgement and following her guidance without making a question. Without her, I'm nothing, nobody. If it wasn't for her, I am probably still locked up in some cold and dark cell even now, keeping waiting vainly to be miraculously transferred to the old world, the one that I originally belonged to and remained waiting until this body rot. If it wasn't for Yuuko sensei, I'm not even Shirogane Takeru, for nobody could truly believe in my word or could they prove that I existed or the world in my memory was real. Without Yuuko sensei, I'm nobody, nothing but a babbling walking madman who supposed to be dead.
Ever since that day, I have inwardly sworn to myself that I would make myself useful to her and kept pushing myself along the road for both her sake and mine. But, the only compass, the only direction indicator that I knew in this world broke and disappeared. I could only pin the blame on myself for what happened, me, myself, not someone else, not this war torn world, not this twisted destiny of mine, and definitely, not Yuuko sensei. If only I could have been more helpful and useful than that, maybe, maybe, it would never turn out to this. This world would never head toward its apocalypse and Yuuko would not be broken like that.
My compass broke and I am now directionless once again. I wonder if this is my punishment for failing Yuuko, for hurting her and betraying her until the very end. To wander in this uncharted water, fighting and struggling without any sense of direction, without any hope or salvation, I wonder if this was a fitting punishment for me.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Die," I scream for the millionth time of the day, putting every ounce of power in my possession into the control sticks and channelled it to the Mk II's arms. One wide swing, two grapplers limped. I put so much hatred and anger into each and every attack that the Mk II must look like nothing but a battle crazed giant.
A ball of fire glows at the edge of my vision. Another allied TSF explodes in front of me, another Eishi dead.
I could not do anything, neither offer any help nor mourn the deceased pilot. It's someone I knew. His machine was however beyond my reach and I had my hands full of myself and my squad. I could do nothing but stare.
Thus, I could only scream and curse, getting angry in place of the deceased. Anger and hatred fuel me and my action.
"Die," I roar, combining a kick to the left pedal and a series of jabs on the control sticks. The Mk II obeys obediently down to the tiniest commandment from me, twisting its body to a semi circular spin to generate momentum before exerting a downward diagonal cut on a charging grappler. Nothing less from my very own trusted steed, I command it to kill and it does just that, the killing job. The monster is sent flying into air for less than a second before fell prey to gravity then crumbled into bisected portions. The bugger probably didn't even have a chance to realize when it was killed.
"Die," I curse angrily, compelling the Mk II to bend its body to ground level to avoid a malicious uppercut attack from a nearby grappler class before transforming into a windmill, grinding the monster to its vicious death. By the time the Mk II's feet touched the ground again, finishing its attack, I couldn't even recognize the bloody piece of meat in front of me any more.
I scream, roar, howl and curse over and over again at the top of my lungs. "Die," "drop dead," "get out," etc. Each and every time the Mk II's cockpit fill with my war cry, a BETA or two depart straight to oblivion. Ten hours it has been since the gong of war sounded. Nine and half an hour it has been since I had my non-human first blood. Only a few dozens BETA managed to pass through my sword range with their lives intact, very shortly though. A good ten meter behind me was a furious sweeping blade of Ebisu's Takemikazuchi. I wouldn't count on anything came contact with her and still live to tell the tale. And even if the bloody monsters somehow did through a sheer miraculous stroke of luck without any injury despite the odds, two furious killers would be there, greeting them with a blazing depleted uranium welcome. And if by chance, some of the bloody bastards seriously survived even that by spending their lifetime worth of luck, the Liger Flight and Warhammer which currently busied replenishing their supply a good 200 meter behind us would surely pick those buggers off. And if seriously by a sheerly miraculous chain of improbably extraordinary luck, a couple of those damned monster managed to stick in one piece and mobile, the Wadasumis belonged to the Sting Ray stationed further at the back would definitely get the job done.
Regardless, such exemplary cases have indeed happened. In many areas, the BETA did succeed break through three barricades of defense before being cleared by the last row of defense of the Wadasumis. I can't even begin to comprehend how such thing could possibly happen though. Like seriously, managing to break through three consecutive lines of defense of combined mob of TSFs from the UN Force and Imperial Army, I could not possibly imagine what kind of tenancy, luck and vitality would assist any living creature to accomplish that. The BETA was ever an illogical and alien race to mankind.
But that thought escaped me real quick before I realized the terror of the BETA.
How many, how many more must I kill? How many more BETAs must I kill before this battle come to an end? This is ridiculous. This is completely ridiculous. How many of those bastards must I cut down?
Alone on my own, I could easily handle a dozen of hundreds monsters regardless of their sizes and classes. Be it the Fort class, Destroyer, grappler, tank, I could handle several hundreds of them in my top form without breaking a sweat. Adding my squad to the equation and those numbers could easily skyrocket by the factor of tens. Somehow, one way or another, I would able to keep the situation under control. That's what I thought, foolishly counting chicken before the eggs hatched.
This is ridiculous. This is way beyond what individuals' valour could contribute. This is utter despair. This is madness. This is hopelessness. This is the very reason mankind kept losing for the last three decades.
I hacked, hacked and hacked, killed, killed and killed. I can't even bloody recall how many of those bloody monsters turned into rust on the Mk II's armour. My mathematical calculation completely failed me after the number hit three digits. Not that I even bloody care. For once, I must admit that I was bloody stupid for keeping a track on my kill count. What kind of retard would do that in this kind of battlefield anyway? Hundreds BETAs turned into corpses, another hundreds will immediately replace in no time. Thousands dead, another thousand would fill the vacancy before one has the room to realize it. A hundred thousands were slain, 2 hundred thousands immediately appeared to replace. There was no end.
"Just drop dead already," I curse, twisting my blade inside a Grappler body as it contorted in a death spasm. My sight suddenly shake, darkened for some several fractions of second. I immediately shake my head and force my eyes open by instinct. Only now, I have finally realized that I am incredibly tired. I know I am tired but I just didn't understand just how exhausted I was. My throat parched, my sight dimmed. My chest hurt, wheezing heavily.
My head felt light. If I was to lose all the tension I put on myself at the moment, without a doubt, I would definitely pass out. Was it because I thought about needless things and felt resigned that the adrenalin rush just went poof all of sudden? Screw that.
I tap on the command panel to the pilot assisting option without wasting another thought. The Mk II is momentarily commanded to a semi manual mode for the moment. The advance AI took over like an auto pilot program, making manoeuvres to enemy units base on my collected data thus far. I just need to concentrate on the weaponry. I rested the sword hands and deploying the sub-arms, putting the back pack mount pylons and the assault rifles to good use. I squeezed the trigger and the assault cannons extended from the Mk II's back sang noisily.
A small window concerns about my health status popped up on the HUD. Adrenalin shot, there it is. I tap the button, confirming the medication I just really need at the moment. A sharp sting assaults the back of my neck and then quickly fades just as sudden as it came. The all purpose Exo suit automatically injects the stimulation pack I chose. Really, this piece of suit is a little too handy with so many applications from G force shock absorber to bullet proof vest, life supporting, data recorder, etc. The Exo suit really a state of art given to us Eishi in a sense.
For the record, I do not really fond of using medical stimulation. There was really no particular reason behind that, it was simply just because I don't like it. I do however understand that these options were there to provide assistance to us Eishi. But, it just didn't sit well with me for some reason. I would use it if situation required. Most of the time, I tried to will myself through without using it, though.
And this situation calls for it. It's not a matter of principality anymore. It's not a matter of like or dislike anymore. My body is telling me to rest when I clearly could not afford a rest for myself. I could not afford to pass out during this operation for even a second.
The effect of the adrenalin injection could not be felt immediately even though it was an overdose of 1.3x. But, I know, it would be soon, very shortly.
I quickly disengage the auto pilot of the Mk II and revert it to full manual mode.
I put the blades to motion again, spinning them in the air to gain momentum before slashing at those god forsaken monsters. I don't have that much ammunition in reserve, it's better to save ammo when I can. The twin assault rifles extending over the Mk II's shoulders are quickly put back where they belong.
Badum
I hear it very clearly, the sound of my beating heart amidst the chaos of the battle. Even the sound of Tama's and Mikoto's suppressive fire from nearby was barely comparable to the echo of my beating heart at the moment.
Badum
With each and every pulse, I am getting numb, numbed to my exhaustion and biological necessity that is. I feel empowered with each and every time my heart thumped. My focus intensifies. My senses sharpen.
Badum
Energy loaded within every fibre of my flesh rebels, demanding to be freed. And I comply to their plea, releasing the imprisoned energy within without any reservation.
Two tanks and one grappler are killed instantly with the first attack. I then rush leftward; distancing myself a bit from the squad's formation to make extra sure I wouldn't commit a friendly fire even in a fit of rampage. One horizontal spin, one diagonal reverse slash, four tanks and another passing by grappler are crushed. An injured Grappler approaches from my nine hour, missing one of its pincers. This bugger definitely was not one of the BETA's fresh troop but one of those leading vanguard that clashed against our first line of Defense. I put an end to the monster's life before it could raise its remained forearm to attack, bisecting it with a crushing vertical blow.
Several dozens grappler and tank classes come, rushing at me heedless of consequence. There was no variation in their attack, monotonously and repetitive as ever. Their manoeuvre and attack motions were sickeningly iterative down to the tiniest bit as though programmed. And thus, the result was the same as always. I just have to do the same thing like I always did in the training, the same stuff Tsukuyomi san taught me and the same concept I discovered on my own.
The dual blades within my metallic grasp flash through the atmosphere in a crimson madness, leaving nothing but corpses in their paths. Pincers fly, heads roll, limbs fall, blood fountains, bodies bisected and dismembered. The images transferred to my retinal relay are painted in a vicious shade of red, filling with blood and corpses.
"Die," I curse, channelling the weight of the Mk II into its swords and tracing death in the air. Blood stalks my blades closely and splatters upon the Mk II's armour.
A grappler class readily charges at me with an uppercut strike, completely forsaking its defence as though intending to take me down with it. I retreat two meters, flexing the Mk II's right arm to gain extra momentum then responded to the monster's attack with that of my own. Offense trades against offense, no defense involves.
In one crushing motion, my blade cut through the bugger's pincer then travels through the creature's torso, completely bisecting it.
One special characteristic about my Mk II is that it is horrible in building speed, much worse than the other first generation TSF's counterpart due the additional weight on its armour. In term of speed and acceleration, without a doubt, the Mk II would be qualified to be the worst first generation TSF in the world. However, the weight that greatly hinders the Mk II's mobility would increase the Mk II's attacking momentum by several folds once this machine was able to gain speed. There is no stopping for the Mk II's attack once it has momentum. In the past, I had once bisected a Gekishin vertically in an unofficial match with a just single vertical overhead chop, a feat completely unheard of until this day. I can't remember much what happen after that except the part my colleagues pestered me on how I did that; like what sort of trick behind that. No big surprise, because a TSF and a Gekishin nonetheless is a bulk of moving metal alloys, the only way to bisect it was to slip a blade through the gaps between its armour. I on the other hand, did the impossible, cutting through the Gekishin where its armour thickest.
Until this day, the only stuff I could not cut through completely with the Mk II were the Destroyer's fore armour, Fort Class's bee needle tips and the super hardened carbon made items which Mohs value's is second to that of diamond.
Suddenly, a great tremor spreads across the earth. I immediately turn, taking a glance at the direction where the shockwave originated from.
To my 8 hour, approximately 40 to 47 meters, a friendly Gekishin belong to the Imperial Army is being blown away, crashing on its back. It was completely caught by surprise, receiving an unexpected ram by a Destroyer. Its cockpit armour was completely deformed, however from the look, the damage should not reach the cockpit. The Gekishin then struggled to regain its balance with difficulties, the Eishi was probably inflicted with some concussion damage though. However, Tanks pounces on the helpless machine, pressing it down to the floor once more time and started gnawing at its armour. The Gekishin struggles, looking for its no-where found primary weapon and then starting to deploy its knives and desperately working to shred off the tanks from its body. A F4J of the same marking come to the rescue, defending its immobilized ally. It was ironically an entire futile attempt however. The result is the cost of its own life and the despair in the eyes of its fallen ally. Two grapplers shred the defending F4J into two, taking the advantage of its negligence defence of its own.
The earthed Gekishin's death is imminent and seemingly unstoppable. The machine stops cutting the Tank class BETAs on its armour, instead cringed its arm reflexively at its incoming doom.
The two grapplers that have just finished the F4J turned, leaping at the helpless Gekishin for the kill. Death come to the unfortunate Gekishin fast but death ironically approaches the two unsuspecting grapplers much faster.
The two murdered grapplers drop down to a full halt, earthbound, unable to advance a single meter. A curved sword protrudes out of each creature's back, crucified them to the ground.
"Hurry, stand up and fight, you fucking idiot" I kick the pedals, speeding my TSF to the Imperial Army Eishi's aid. The pilot didn't even realize the two monsters before him were already dead, still flailing his arms desperately in the air. His Gekishin was still being torn by tank class BETAs. "Mikoto, fill my position. Ebisu, Kamiyo, cover me. I'm helping that idiot," I shouted on my squad's channel without waiting for the reply.
The giant finally understood that the two monsters in front of him was dead for good, waving his knives around desperately to shake off the Tank class BETAs on its body. Its armour has already been shredded badly, machinery mechanism on its right shoulder and torso is already visible to public. The pilot has clearly become even more agitated, striking his machine frame with his knife in a desperate effort to clear the tanks. His judgment is clearly clouded by fear.
Several BETAs separate me from the Imperial Army's TSF. Four tanks leap; two I squash to the ground, one I brush away and the last one I send flying with a single straight punch. I then catch one tank class in my right hand before it could get to a leaping motion, throwing it at a group of four tanks and prevented them from approaching my machine even further.
Two Grapplers run parallelly, matching their attack with a horizontal swipe which I dive underneath, avoiding their attack and leaving them to the two white Takemikazuchis behind me to deal with. I reach the two impaled BETA to retrieve my blades, not before twisting the blades half a circle to kill the two persistent buggers for good. They twisted a dead spasm and limped as I plucked the blades out.
"Don't move! I will help," I shout angrily to grounded giant as I connect to his communication channel, just wishing that the pilot could somehow respond to that and snap out of his fear.
Unintelligent screaming is the other pilot's answer sadly. It's a very young female voice, at best, about 14 to 15 years old.
Hell no, I inwardly thought. The girl probably didn't even realize that I was an ally, slashing at my Mk II with her knives.
"Doesn't matter," I cursed under my breath, chopping down one nearby grappler class as I span and approached the panic-stricken giant. Ebisu and Kamiyo had my back, I have nothing to fear. I will trust my back to them. I immediately hit the throttle, knocking the Gekishin's knife hand sideway and half pinning it down with the Mk II's left leg.
"Guh," the other pilot's screaming was immediately replaced with a choking cough from the impact. Even though I have already restricted the strength, it was border line to akin that of a bad kick nonetheless. That's just how powerful the Mk II could be. Though, the concussion damage dealt to the female pilot would probably little considering the amazing shock absorbance ability of a TSF's cockpit and the Exo suit.
"Stay down, do not move," I said, bringing my swords down with little hesitation. The first strike blew away four tank classes as it brushed against the Gekishin's cockpit armour with orange sparks. The female pilot shrieked and I immediately realized that my estimation in the sword range was slightly mistaken and quickly corrected it.
"My bad," I apologized unapologetically and continued the task nonetheless.
The second strike came, spluttering two tank class BETAs that busied shredding the Gekishin's shoulder plate, this time without scratching against the TSF's armour. The third strike stalked subsequently, cleaning the remaining BETA on the Gekishin's body.
Then, I removed my Mk II's foot from the Gekishin's body, allowing it to stand up. "Now you are all good, stand up and…"
"Shirogane, watch your 6," Ebisu's alerting voice abruptly exploded in my earpiece, interrupting my little speech.
This is a battlefield. This is no place for sentiment. So I was reminded.
One Destroyer came into view, dexterously avoided the two Takemikazuchis, charging toward me. The behemoth's right fore leg was cut, not deep enough apparently. With each and ever step it took, the monster coughed a huge quantity of blood. Still, the monster showed no sight of slowing down. I immediately responded to the threat and ready the Mk II to engage. Ebisu in a meanwhile deployed her wrist knife, tossing it at the Destroyer's back with lightening speed. Blood splashed like a fountain, yet the monster stumped forward slightly but didn't stop.
My sword would not do any good, the Destroyer strand could only be killed by an attack to their back. Their fore armour which covered their entire body has the hardness that almost equal to that of diamond. My assault cannon wouldn't do me any good from this angle, it could not penetrate that thick armour.
I can't dodge. If I moved, the Eishi behind me would be stampeded to dead.
"Don't fuck with me," I cursed vulgarly in habit, commanded the Mk II to execute the first thing came to my mind.
The Left Jump unit I switched off, extinguished; the right Jump unit, I set to full throttle, burned brighter than ever. The Mk II spun in the air; one revolution, two, three, three and two fifth of a revolution before contacted with Destroyer.
Brute force against brute force, momentum against momentum, the Destroyer's fore armour clashed against my Mk II's spinning kick.
I heard my friends' mixed scream but the following noise cut it off.
Wham.
My vision blurred, my ears rang a little for several second subsequently. However, I still had the control of the Mk II. As the Mk II assailed through the air, I extinguished the right Jump unit, spinning in a semi circle, sweeping against the floor with one leg before forcefully stopped the spin by stabbing my blades to the sand to kill off the momentum. It took me fully two second to do so, manually.
I breathed out, reviewing the situation. My opponent lied flatly on its back, showing off its magnificent belly to the world, struggling, wriggling its four legs, completely stuck deep in the sand like an overturned tortoise.
"Yes," I exclaimed excitedly in a rush of adrenalin.
I would probably be amused if this wasn't a real battlefield. My Mk II wasn't completely unharmed. The shock absorption rod broke. The two layers of armour on the right legs were completely deformed. The damaged went through even the additional armour installed inside and reached the muscle pack. Luckily, the right leg was still functional at 67% capacity. Well, it's not necessarily "luckily".
If the Destroyer was a tortoise, my Mk II is an overweight full armour turtle. The damage it received in the earlier collision shouldn't hammer its performance.
"As expected of me," I said.
"Don't ever do something like that again!"
My eardrums erupted. That one single scolding line was delivered to me by the entire members of the White Knights and Blood.
"Yeah… sorry. But what choice do I have?" I replied apologetically but muffled the last part. Well, that was dangerous, I guess? It could be either me or that oversized tortoise over there that died.
I'm too afraid to tune to enlarge the squad's face to face communication. Still, there was no luxury on this battlefield for lecture and further scolding from anyone. They resumed their tasks and fending off the BETA force.
I too, had no intent to rest either.
As I glanced, the Gekishin behind me was still on its butt, staring at me vacantly.
"Hey, you, start moving. You are safe now, for now. Return to your squad," I angrily shouted without bother a second glance at the Gekishin, resuming my focus at the BETAs from my 12 hour.
"Ah… yes," the female Eishi replied, finally snapping out. However, she choked "but my unit was wiped out… I don't know where to go now,"
Good heaven. I cursed inwardly. The fury that I used as fuel to kill the BETA until now suddenly pointed toward the crying girl. I myself and the White Knights were a bunch of greenhorn graduates but this girl was even worse, a completely clueless greenhorn. She didn't belong to this place at all. Did the Imperial Army seriously run out of Eishi that they must resort to put such a clueless girl among their Sadogashima assault troop? I knew that only recently the draft age has been lowered, but to think that a girl like this, of this age and with this kind of ability was commissioned and brought to this kind of suicidal mission with us… It was seriously unthinkable. What kind of nonsense is this? Did this girl and her squad did something against their superior and were sent to this operation to die?
"White Knight 01 to Blood 01, please take over the command for a while. I have a situation here. I will borrow Ebisu and Kamiyo for a while. Please make do without us," I rang Tsukuyomi's direct communication channel while fending off a couple of Grapplers and tanks.
"First, stop crying and stand up. Protect yourself with this. That knife is not going to help you at all," I barked, trying to calm myself while disengaging my assault cannon from the Mount Pylon and tossing it toward the girl with the sub-arms which she caught reflexively. There were still a little over four hundred 66mm ammo. The guns should prove more useful to this girl than my swords in her current state of mind. Now she had a gun in her hands, she should be somewhat calmer than before.
"Yes, than.."
"Don't thank me yet, run a quick check on your TSF's system and gave me the full authorization over your unit," I did as I was taught to take care of cases like this on the battle. I may be green but still, a First Lieutenant nonetheless, I have been given adequate field training that required of a First Lieutenant.
"Right away," the girl replied almost by reflex in a sobbing voice.
"Now, just keep an eye at the 10 hour of any incoming threat, you are to shoot at will. Fight," I commanded. "Leave the rest to me and the two royal guard unit over there."
"Roger," the girl replied eagerly almost devoid of her earlier panic attack. Sadly, this was probably 5% to 10% due to my persuasive aura, not that I had it anyway.
There was one additional function of the life supporting system implemented on a TSF that was quite different from other, that was hypnotism suggestion. It was only accessible to those of First Lieutenant ranking and above. It was a meant to help Eishis to overcome their fear to fight the BETA force… theoretically. However, in reality, it sneakily took away an Eishi's sense of fear, forcing him/her to fight till the bitter end; meaning, preventing the Eishi to leave their rank, retreat, or desert even knowing that it would be their death. A yesterday coward could easily be the most fearless warrior on the battlefield should the hypnotic suggestion put on him exceed a certain level.
I hated how people…my direct superiors sugar-coated about the effectiveness of this application. Many of my colleagues felt the same way, Tsukuyomi san even though she didn't expressively made a comment; I think she agreed with us on this. It was immorally wrong… in my previous world that is, however, not this world. That's just how desperate mankind was against the BETA. Even the deployment of the metal cloud considered as morally acceptable in warfare in this world without much debating. However, I do understand the need of this application, now more than ever. This situation is beyond despair. This battle against the BETA is a losing battle. You cannot retreat however.
The previous hypnotic suggestion put on this young female Eishi was already at level 2, quite a mild one. At this level, she more or less still retains her sense of fear. She wouldn't able to feel nervousness whilst fighting. I had just increased it to level four. The key word that induced it was "Fight" for my case as I have previously programmed it this way. The girl's sense of fear was dulled effectively, just almost like how a dose of adrenalin shot did to my body. At what extend did it affect the girl? To the point that her adrenalin glands would barely squeezed out drips whereas they should continuously pump adrenalin into her blood in each and every second as the battle goes. Hence, the hypnotic suggestion is a vicious circle that put a lot of risk on the Eishi.
The sense of fear that could cripple us of any sensible action, clouded our sentience, one of the biggest factor that lead to one's death was ironically in fact one's greatest weapon if mastered. Fear pumped adrenalin into our blood vein and empowered us, allowing us to exceed our norm capability to do what we normally couldn't. Stealing away one's sense of fear resulted in the absence of adrenalin in one's blood, effectively hammering down one's battle capability in pinch.
However, I saw no other choice in the matter seeing just how terrified this Imperial Army Eishi was. I also made sure to give her an injection of adrenalin and caffeine just to keep her in the loop.
After a few minutes, when the girl settled down, I briefed, "Girl, connect to your operator and inform HQ of your situation. We will defend your unit until then,"
I knew I was being merciless and apathetic here, considering what happened to the girl. But, I couldn't baby-sit her like this. A team of three, fighting like this was very mind taxing. Even though both Kamiyo and Ebisu diligently executed their task as they were told, without any complained… they were incredibly tired. They were forced to do more than what they should, while not moving too much to provide enough protection for us, me and the girl. They have already used up their ammunition long ago, and solely relied on their blades to do the killing job. But, the main reason was that I was more worried about the White Knights. The entire left flank of our formation was split open with our absence, the two Royal Guards and mine. Chiruzu removed herself from the front and filled the upper left to fill Kamiyo's position, Tomoe moved leftward to fill my position whilst both Mikoto and Tama moved forward to avoid the disconnection between the lines.
Actually, the option of taking the girl into my squad's supervision was also there on my mind. However, this girl even though being an ally, she wasn't one of us, an Eishi of the UN army. Secondly, no way people would push a girl this young to this battle for no reason. She or her squad must be involved in some sort of 'special' situation like our squad and myself. Otherwise, it made no sense at all, putting someone as young as this girl on this kind of operation. Even though, there was a possibility that I was wrong, I still don't want to risk it. I absolutely don't want to involve in more problem than I already did. Besides, these three years, as a political hostage myself, one that has already deeply involved in the darkness of the ALTERNATIVE Plan, I developed quite a good sense of smell. And therefore, I tend to trust my nose more than often.
Everyone for himself, that's the kind of world I'm treading in. If I want to get what I want, I must not act on my emotion or conscience. I must be as merciless and nasty as I could when situation like this arise.
Less than a minute, the girl patched me about her new reassignment to a nearby Imperial Unit. That's good, now I don't have to feel bad about saving her only to leave her to die.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A little bit more, a little bit more and we would be allowed to return. I kept telling myself as I fought. However, the more I fought, the more I realized that I was only trying to run away from the reality. All I could do was putting on a brave face and gritting my teeth, bracing all that have tossed at me.
The current wear rate of our UN army had already escalated up to 63%. BETA completely overran the three lines of defense and disestablished the beachhead units of Ryou Tsu Bay's eastern shore. Our Northern shore troop was barely surviving with our meagre number. It was getting worse and worse as every minute passed.
Tsukuyomi and I took upon the vanguard position for awhile ago, doing whatever we could to keep our little group from breaking. There was no longer room for us to establish our resupply. It was either do it on site or waiting until your TSF ran dried on fuel. With all the constant charge and harassment the BETA threw, there was literally no alternate for us but to take the risk of making on site resupply.
And I don't think many of us would even think much our about the resupplying stuff. It's like a luxury at the moment. Just surviving another minute for anyone was a huge deal, let alone risking supplying our TSF while under constant combat.
The beachhead units stationed three sand dunes behind me were already wiped out, they were supposed to be in charge of acting as our refuelling station. With that, the alternate option for us to refuel was the Kongou carrier two miles from this position. However, that was no longer an option as the HQ passed down their ultimate command to not leave our assigned position at all cost unless ordered.
It was no longer possible to keep the BETA force at bay. All we could do was struggling to keep ourselves alive.
I stopped thinking at one point. What's going on beyond these waves and waves of BETA that I saw? How far the Laser Class extermination job was going? How long do I have to hold this position? I could no longer think of those little distractions. Killing BETA and surviving the battle was all that was in my head. Nothing else registered other than those two thoughts.
Ayamine received a bad hit by a grappler not very long ago. Her machine lost an arm and is in no shape for a combat. Let's not mention about being fit for the vanguard position. It all began with a Fort Class with Meiya and Ayamine failed to kill threatened the vanguard trio. Chiruzu took upon a risky manoeuvre to land a killing blow which she almost fell to a grappler. Nobody could react in time, not even me and Tsukuyomi as we were screened by the mentioned dying Fort class. Ayamine barely save Chiruzu, using her TSF as a shield as she killed off the grappler with her cannon.
Immediately, I ordered her along with Meiya to take a rest at the rear. Even though, I said take a rest, it was no rest for any of them. All they did was switching from melee combat to mid range combat.
The remained unsaid priority at the moment was not "to lock down the BETA force" but "to survive".
I breathed labouredly, gulping for oxygen as I fought. At this point, I have already needed an oxygen mask plastered on my face to breath. Other than Tsukuyomi, everyone else was in no better shape than me.
Then, a single message suddenly patched on the open channel from HQ, knocking down the troops' morale real hard.
I don't think I quite catch on that message. My hands coordinate the Mk II to keep hacking and slashing any BETA within range as my head turns blank. What does First Lt. Elena mean with that message? I don't quite get her message. Did she say that in Japanese or another language which wasn't registered on the audio translation archive? If that was the case, was that message spoken in the BETA's language? I didn't know that the BETA could communicate. Was that message from HQ intended as a joke? If it was the case, it's not funny at all.
As my head turned blank, my blades hacked around with despair.
What does "Targets intact" mean? What does "an unknown strand of BETA" mean? What does "Whisky unit wiped out" mean?
I don't understand any of them, not one of those terms which were mentioned in the message.
"Shirogane, Shirogane, Shirogane, snap out of it," Tsukuyomi's commanding voice splashed like a cold bucket.
"First Lt. Tsukuyomi, strange, it's strange. I don't get it. I don't get what did that order mean," my mouth broke into an eerie laugh. My blades twirled and traced despair in the air. Three grapplers entered my sword range as I laughed; two left my sword range headless while the other limped beneath the Mk II's feet. I stabbed the immobilized creature again, again, again and again, hacking and tearing its flesh from the base of its neck right down to its dorsal flank.
"Shirogane, snap out of it. That one's already dead," Tsukuyomi growled.
"I don't understand. I don't understand. What the hell does it mean?" I laughed maniacally, switching to several tanks that just entered my range solely on instinct.
They all died in airborne state upon their first contact with my sweeping blades, splashing their filthy blood into the air.
"What the hell does it mean? Someone please tell me," I growled as my vision scalded hot with the tears of fury. My body felt weird, running amok with all sort of unknown resentment.
Everyone in the squad, each and every one of them gave me their reply. None reached my ears however. They probably said differently from one another. But the content should be the same. Their worried face on the face to face communication channel spoke louder than their word.
"Takeru, you have been summoned. Go," Meiya's voice was the only source of sound I could make out from the rest. It was fortified with stern cold demeanour, completely distant from her worried look, "We will be fine. So go, fulfil your duty, Takeru."
"The situation has come to this and still, they wanted to divide our force to even smaller number? I don't understand." I replied angrily as I hacked a passing by grappler cleanly into two portions.
"Someone has to do it. Otherwise, the G bomb could not be dropped. You have already known that Takeru," Meiya said nothing but what I have been expected for her to say. "You already know how much the general and everyone else value you as an Eishi. Everyone would do much better knowing that you also take part in the operation. Now go, you are delaying the others."
"The hell with that, you know damn well that is not what I meant," I shouted heatedly into the intercom. I drown myself in action, venting my anger on any BETA within reach, alive or not. Hacking, hacking and hacking, I gave the command, jabbing the dual control sticks without a single pause and the Mk II sentimentally spat its anger on nearby targets, cutting and dissembling any BETA within its reach. I don't care if I must deploy into a suicidal mission. I don't care at this point. If such was my order, I would do it without complain. But, separating me from this squad and making them stay, resisting the BETA with the collective remained Gekishins from nearby, I just can't stomach that. This is just like telling them to die trying, slowing down this massive amount of BETA. I just can't stand it.
Unexpectedly, I was still the same after all these years. I still whined and acted like a brat. My physics and mental fortitude may have matured to that of an adult but some parts of the young and weak me still yet lingered.
"I can still fight and I will fight. No, I must fight. Such is my duty, I'm needed here. I can't just retreat for my own safety while everyone else's still fighting," Meiya replied sternly, "Someone has to maintain the beachhead unit. We can't have the BETA overran our fleet. That's aside; our Gekishin's mobility would get in the way of the other if we were to participate."
No, I don't want to hear something like that or even want to imagine about that. I, participating in a suicide rush, am more than enough. I don't care. The last thing I want is you and this squad participating in this same suicidal of a plan.
My brain went numb, can't think of anything better to do. What should I do? What is better?
"But…" I tried to reason.
"Go, Takeru. Don't delay this. People are dying as we talk and you are needed. Go, Takeru, don't make me hating myself more than I have already did. I might not have the strength to see you to such mission til the end," Meiya cut off before I could say anything.
This girl, once she made her mind, she would never go against it. This girl always burdened herself with her duty and responsibilities for her entire life without a single complain. The more I dawdled, throwing a fit like a child, the more she would suffer. Because I weighted her more than anything else and acted like a spoiled child, people died meaninglessly as the result. Those people were the same people who looked up to me, valued me highly and expected nothing but great result from me. The thought that I would risk destroying everything for her sake, she can't accept it due to her heritage and pride. However, as Meiya said, the thought that I would die, and this was the last time we ever see one another, even Meiya, she might not endure it through the end. Those feelings contradicted one another.
"…roger," I squeezed the control sticks and replied. My vision turned blurred. My body shook with anger and pain.
There was no running away from reality this time. I'm doing a great disfavour to everyone. I'm just whining like a brat, lamenting.
I stomped on the pedals, commanding a boost to the Mk II. Tsukuyomi and her unit followed me, boosting toward the appointed direction for our suicide assault unit. They, too, were summoned.
"Take care," said I as I was about to disconnect from the face to face communication channel between our squad. I feel weak, seeing those tears from everyone. I feel helpless just by watching everyone suppressed their tear and muffled their sobbing. I don't think I have enough resolution to fulfil my duty if I kept watching this. Therefore, disconnecting at the moment is the correct choice. I know this and so does everyone else.
"Make sure you return," Meiya bid her farewell. Surprisingly, her choice of word coincided with that of everyone else.
"Um, please wait for me until then," I nodded my head and disconnected. I gritted my teeth, suppressing my own sobbing from leaking out. Now, I'm just a weak human, a crying and sobbing weak human. However, the moment this Mk II reaches the destination, assembling with the other machines to organize the assault squad, I would not be allowed to be me, this weak me again. By that time, I must be who I meant to be.
Shirogane Takeru is a genius. Shirogane Takeru is champion. Shirogane Takeru is undefeated. As long as Shirogane Takeru is inside a TSF, a miracle or two bound to happen. If that's what my colleagues believe, to keep their morale high, to preserve their fading hope, I will be that damn non-existed light that they wished.
Wear rate reached 64. 36% of the origin number remained; dividing into two groups, assault and beachhead. The assault group would force a blood path toward the BETA's rear, pushing through a distance of 67km filled with BETA of all sizes to contact with the remaining laser class BETA and exterminate them. The beachhead group would stay behind, slowing the BETA's advance as much as they can to keep artillery units available for supporting fire. If this last ditch effort and suicidal of a plan doesn't work, it's over.
All first generation TSFs and those whose suffered heavy damage that impaired their mobility were assigned to the beachhead unit. The rest was appointed to a riskier position of the assault group. I, however, was named among the assault group to be symbolism to at least keep our Yokohama units' morale high than out of the consideration of my ability and this Mk II's hidden potential. The higher up just doesn't care whether or not, I would able to make it, keeping up with other Eishi with a Gekishin. I'm just a symbol, nothing more and nothing less. That's my only use in this last suicide attempt.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
This is the last charge. If this doesn't work, nothing would. And if that came to, surely, our combined army could choose the worst possible alternative that is to deploy the G bomb regardless, hoping that it would bot be shot down prematurely… I don't even want to think about that, whether it was the consequence or the chance of success of such risky manoeuvre.
This is the most positive image that my mind could come up with. No matter what, I don't think this would work. 133 machines, a combined mob of battered and bloodstained TSF, damaged, low on both fighting spirit and firepower, there is just no way would this mob make it. This is no military unit, this is just a combined mob of TSFs. Aside from Tsukuyomi and her unit, I only knew 37 faces, my Yokohama brothers and sisters in arm. The other, I have no idea regarding their name, their strong and weak spots, their abilities, their fighting habits, none whatsoever. I am not going to expect any teamwork from these new team mates any time soon and they too, wouldn't expect any from other either. Worse, there is a large gap in our machine's mobility. Needless mentioning, Tsukuyomi and her Royal Imperial Guard possessed the Takemikazuchi which statically the fastest in term of speed. Then, it's the Shiranui and the F15J. My Mk II goes last, the slowest of all. People can't just expect a several tons truck, some cheaply manufactured cars to keep up with four F1 cars in a 67km o obstacle race, don't they? Gaps bound to be opened within this deployment. This is not going well, no matter which angle I look at it. Any soldier who was summoned here could easily figure it out. This suicide charge would probably turn badly in the end, if not certainly. However, the worst aspect has yet to be considered.
This combined mob of 133 TSF was forced to a suicide charge, open a blood path of 67km straight until we can contact with the laser classes and exterminate latter. This is just impossible. To wade through 67 km of BETA filled area with this mob, it's just plainly impossible. Regardless, this is the HQ' decision, this is how this battle turn out. There is nothing I can do, no idea I can come up with to turn the tide of this battle. This is the only method available.
My head went numb during the short regroup briefing. Tsukuyomi and her unit seemed to be assigned to be the spearhead of this mob of an assault team. I on the other hand, was assigned to a position further at the back, along with members of the Dragon and Liger Flight. Aside from that, I don't think I registered anything else from the briefing. My brain just does not work even when I applied a level one self suggestion to keep my calm.
For time being, we are assembling on the Musashi to refuel our machines and at the same time, to sort out the plan. Inside my head is a huge blank. For a second, I thought about Meiya and the White Knights. But as soon as it reached there, I forcefully shut it down, trying to think about what can I contribute in this suicide rush instead. I do not have the strength to think about that. While I'm sitting here, they are out there still fighting. Just at the mere news of their death, I could not bear it. I feel very resigned, feel like dropping down the control sticks and giving up fighting. My mouth kept on repeating the same phrase over and over again, to prevent my sanity from breaking down.
"They'll be fine. They'll be fine."
None but the Mk II and myself could hear it. I cut the line when the earlier short briefing came to a close.
A notice flashes on my HUD. There it goes, my turn. I command the Mk II to move forward, picking up the resupplying box and copying everyone else's action. I try to think of something while waiting for the procedure to finish. I feel like I have forgotten something important. Oh damn, I did. I reach out for the external command board and key in the several familiar commands.
Thud, clang, thud
The noise of colliding metals rang noisily. Several mechanics from nearby seems to curse me for doing that but they soon ignore me and return to their job. It probably attracts a little attention at first but then, everyone chose to ignore it in the end. They were probably just as tense as I am. How ironic. I have kept this a secret from everyone for so long fearing all sort of trouble it may cause. Now, I reveal it openly, yet nobody bother to look or paying any attention to it.
Clang clang clang
The Mk II keeps shredding its outermost armour noisily. There is no reason for us two man and machine to keep it a secret any longer. What's the point if we are going to die any way? Now, for us, the priority is mobility, not firepower. To keep up with the assault team, we need more mobility.
As I shred the Mk II armour, a new notice flashes.
Cartridge fully loaded, fuel tanks topped, Strike Vanguard pack mounted. I'm readied for sorting out in any moment.
I reconnect to our suicide team communication channel. 133 faces, known and unknown, all tried to maintain their strong face façade. Fear, despair, resignation could be seen however.
I look at my Yokohama allies. 38 in total, me included, to think that we sorted out this morning with 300 TSFs strong…
I see no Gambler, no War Hammer, no Shark here. Their units were assigned with the F15J Eagle, if none of them here, it meant only one thing. I could only hope the other those who assigned with the Gekishin, are still out there, still struggling and fighting at the moment.
I and these Eishis, we all have fought for a consecutive 10 hours, soaking our machine in monster's blood. Most of us lost something during this battle, some their friends, some their beloved, some their purpose. When the Whisky's attempt to exterminate the Laser Class failed, we all felt a sense of resign. To those who lost their friends, the sense of lost they felt was greater than anyone. "Did they die for nothing?" That question left unanswered as these individuals could only drown themselves in actions to forget their pain and to enact the vengeance for their lost friends. They could not have the luxury to think, to feel the depth of their sorrow and their despair. These people are much stronger than me, mentally and spiritually…
How laughable… I'm such a hypocrite…
My hands dexterously open a secure communication channel to all 37 Yokohama allies. As I was doing that, my vocal cord oscillates to a muffled laugh. The Yokohama crowd started noticing me as I laughed.
"What's so funny?"
Finally, a guy from the Dragon flight asked after an unknown length.
"Don't mind me. It's nothing," I replied, still feigning the laugh within my vocal. If I am summoned here for this reason, I will god damn do my job till the end. Putting on a strong façade wasn't the only thing I'm capable of. I have been trained the right methods to handle a situation like this; now, it's the time to put what I have learned into practice.
"Is that so…"
"It's really nothing. My stomach was rumbling like really loud just now and I was thinking something like… Damn, I'm hungry. Then, I was wondering if those BETAs I butchered today are edible. What do they taste like? Good or bad? And it's strange that I have never questioned my Instructor about that during class. I don't think that topic was mentioned in our BETA study material"
"pfft,"
Even it was very soft and subtle, I could clearly hear it. I pretended to ignore and continue my prattle nonetheless, "And then, I was thinking about bring back some BETA's flesh to ask Master Sergeant Kyozuka try cooking them. But then, I was thinking if it's better to bring back some live BETA instead. You know, like, fresh BETA might taste better than dead BETA…"
"pfffft"
An onee san from the Rapier was trying her best to subdue her snickering; however, it seemed my terrible joke got the better of her.
"What the hell. Pfft. We are about to go out there and die. And you could only think about pfft food. What the hell is that? Pffft. You even have the nerve to bring back some BETA for Kyozuka to cook? Seriously, what's wrong with you?"
The onee san snickered whilst wiping her tear openly on the secure channel I just opened.
"I can't help it, you know? My stomach is boiling right now. So, everyone, are BETAs edible?"
It started with the lone snicker of Rapier unit's onee san. It then infected to the rest. The entire communication channel that shared among the 38 Yokohama TSFs erupted with laughter. Some laughed insanely almost hysterical, some snickered, some snort while crying, and some just smirked with a twisted sad look on their face.
I don't think this is a particular very funny joke under normal circumstance. If anything, this is a bad joke. However, it's funny nonetheless, now more than ever, because it's just simply crazy.
"I have fought them for 8 years. Why have I not thought about that?"
"Shit, my sides hurt"
"Someone, someone feed a BETA to this shitty kid. He's gone crazy from the hunger"
"This is full retard. Shit, this is creepy, why am I laughing?"
The tension in the air seemed to drop quite a bit, nevertheless, it dropped. Even I began to laugh for real at my own bad joke, being infected from the atmosphere. This is very surreal. It's just plain crazy. We who are going to die, rushing into our promised death, sitting here laughing at a bad joke. We all just let loose our suppressed emotions with this laugh. This is might as well our very last laugh.
"All unit, assume your position and prepare for taking off," on the open channel, an unknown operator patched on the notice.
The senseless laughter died off immediately on my secure channel.
"Let's get it done quickly and bring back some BETAs for Master Sergeant Kyozuka to cook tonight," I said in a cold and serious voice.
"Copied," 37 Eishis, one unified reply was shared.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
When I came to, I was lying on an unfamiliar bed. I tried to sit up, looking around to get a clue of what's going on. Still fuzzy, no clue or whatsoever, however one thing is for sure, this is not a hospital room. This dimly lit light and the lack of the notable smell of disinfectant gave away.
"Awake already?"
"Sensei?" I turned toward the voice, squinted and saw a fuzzy figure, "It's dark. Where am I?" I questioned as I tried to sit up.
"That's the first thing you want to know? Well, why not try guessing?"
I just barely heard Yuuko sensei's reply amidst the noise of chair clamouring.
"That's harsh. Do you not have any compassion? Why do you even try making a patient attempting such odd job?" I chuckled inadvertently, making a sarcastic inquire.
"Compassion? What's that? Never heard of it. So, any idea?" Yuuko sensei's voice sound clearer as her footsteps echoed.
"That's harsh," I complained, blinking my eyes a few times to adjust my eyes to the darkness. Yuuko sensei must really be bored to even give me a quiz at time like this. I turned around and then caught a whiff of a certain scent. I looked and Yuuko sensei and scowled, "An explanation if you please. Why am I in your room and sleeping in your bed nonetheless?"
"Hoh?! How did you come up with that answer?" Yuuko sensei responded with an amused look.
I snorted and replied, "What do you mean? Of course, this is your room. I can tell that even with my eyes close, your scent gave it away. There is no way I could mistaken it for anything else. And besides, how many time do you think…"
"Feel free to continue," Yuuko sensei gave me a strange look as she suggested, no longer looking amused.
"…" I put a hand on my mouth, sealing it and using the other hand to signal Yuuko sensei to wait, "Give me a moment," I said, turning my face away, feeling heated all of the sudden. I couldn't even look at Yuuko sensei face to face.
"Ok, I'm waiting," replied Yuuko sensei
I collected my thought and then, gingerly asked, "Did I just say something incredibly perverted just now?"
"Certainly you did," Yuuko sensei replied bluntly.
My palms naturally contact with my face like guiding missiles, covering my beet red look, "… could you pretend you never ever hear it?"
I don't even know what I was talking about and how it even came to that. My mouth slipped it off almost naturally.
"Just let you know, I have no interest in someone younger than me," Yuuko sensei replied in monotone.
"Gahhhhh," I yelped aloud out of embarrassment whilst tearing at my hair.
"Not so loud, they just fell asleep hours ago," Yuuko sensei interjected, flexing her thumb at a sofa at the far corner.
I narrowed my eyes, looking at the direction that Yuuko sensei is pointing at, "How long they have been there?" I questioned, holding my volume down low.
"Since the meeting with the Royal Guard, of course, I have both Yashiro and Kagami worked for me since then. And given that you are one hundred percent recovered from your injuries, I have you transferred here so these two don't have to worry needlessly about you while working," Yuuko sensei replied.
"…That's why you transferred me here, I see. You are such a slave driver," I stared at Yuuko sensei blankly, almost marvelling at her impressive manipulation skill. Even when I was down on a bed, I still have a use. This woman seriously, she's scary.
"That's one of the reasons, of course. So how do you feel?" sensei asked
"Now, you ask," I replied reflexively, staring at Yuuko sensei with amazement. I then tried, turning my neck and flexing my shoulders. They are stiffed. I lied around for too long.
"Up for a walk?" Yuuko sensei asked, "Let's go somewhere else to not disturb those two." As Yuuko spoke, she started walking toward the door, doesn't seem to wait for my reply.
"You really know what's on my mind," I replied bluntly and stood up, following Yuuko.