Chapter 3- The Kriegmans

"A/N: This is short, but I honestly had no clue what to do with the Kriegmans. XD If I ever think of something better though, I'll replace this with it."

May 17th, 1999
11:23 AM

Johanne tried to ignore the looks as she wandered around the grocery store She and her husband had tried to go out as little as possible in the last two and a half weeks, but at times they eventually had to wander out of the household.

She knew that people judged her. She couldn't really blame them. After what Andre had done to everyone… even Johanne couldn't help but blame herself. If she had just paid more attention to her son, she probably would have seen that something was wrong. There had been something deeply wrong with Andre.

But both she and her husband had been blind to it.

Maybe that was to be expected though. He was their son. Perhaps it was because of that reason that they were so blind to his faults. All they ever saw was the smart, talented, sweet child that they had given birth to and had raised.

She wished that they could just go back in time with their memories of this intact just so that they could stop him. Johanne loved her son, even knowing what he had done, but it hurt. How could she have raised a murderer? Had her parenting gone wrong somewhere down the line? Why had Andre been so depressed? Why had he been so angry?

None of it connected in her mind. She was playing connect the dots and the picture didn't make any sense in the least. This had to be some horrible nightmare… a nightmare that wanted to last forever.

"Johanne…" the woman took in a breath, preparing herself for whatever was to come before turning around. It was one of her old friends—Heather Roads—but so far most of her friends had turned on her, and she wouldn't be shocked if Heather did as well.

"Heather," she gave a small nod, hands clenching around her shopping basket. The red haired woman looked at her hesitantly before glancing away. "You don't need to say anything. I understand if you want to cut off ties. Everyone else already has and I'm… not going to blame you for it."

The woman frowned. "Johanne, I wanted to… to tell you how sorry I am for your loss."

Johanne Kriegman blinked back tears, looking at her friend—former friend?—in slight shock. "Sorry for my loss?"

Heather gave a small nod. "I am sorry, Johanne. I don't—of course I don't condone what Andre… what he did, but people seem to forget that you and Gerhard lost a son in all of this. They want someone to point fingers at, but I know you and Gerhard are—were wonderful parents. Nobody loved their child more than you two."

Johanne closed her eyes, shaking slightly where she stood. "T-thank you… but I don't blame those people. My son… took the life of somebody else's son or daughter. I can't blame them for hating me and my husband. Somewhere we must have gone wrong with raising Andre."

"No, Johanne, you can't think like that. Look, I know it may not be much, but if you ever need to talk to someone about this, I'll be here for you. These past few weeks have probably been harder on you and Gerhard than anybody else."

"I wouldn't say that," she sighed, opening her eyes and looking at her friend. "Others lost children too. Teenagers were scarred for life. I can't imagine what it must be like for the teenagers that were… inside the school at the time. And I don't blame them for hating us. I hate myself. A part of me will never forgive Andre for doing what he did, how could I? What he did is so… unthinkable. Gerhard barely speaks; neither of us really speak much, actually. Neither of us are going to move on from this. Time cannot heal these wounds."

"I'm sure that's not true. In a few years maybe you'll—"

"No, it will not. Our only child is gone and the manner of which he… was taken from us will forever haunt us, Heather. There will be no healing from this. Maybe in five or so years, it will be a bit easier, but so long as we don't wake up from this nightmare, there's no getting over it."

"Johanne…"

"Thank you for your well wishes, and I will definitely take you up on your offer some time, Heather." Johanne forced a smile before wheeling the cart away to finish her shopping. She moved past the few people in the aisles, ignoring the glares with difficulty.

She quickly finished up her shopping and headed home, saying nothing to the press' questions as she pushed past them into the house. Johanne didn't want to speak to them. She knew anything she had to say would just be used against her, and she didn't want to have to deal with the accusations.

Who would want to?

Johanne put the groceries away, mind slowly moving through the happenings of the month so far. A sadness had built up inside of her and it just wouldn't go down. She didn't know if it would ever go down. Probably not.

She felt her husband move next to her, helping her put up the groceries. Neither of them spoke. It was too tiring to speak about it. They were exhausted just from thinking about it.

They knew that they would eventually have to talk about it, but not yet. Johanne wanted to throw up every time she thought about it, so how could she talk about it? Even to one of the only people who understood how she felt—understood what she was going through.

Hopefully she would wake up soon. She would wake up and none of this would have happened, none of this would be real. Andre would still be alive.

He wouldn't be a murderer.